The Disease- a reincarnation story (Vol5)
by elohiniar
Summary: The past is buried in the future. The answers to the future lie in the past. Can they be uncovered before Sesshomaru loses his life to the side effects of an illness that killed the demons in the past? Can he find her again, before it's too late and if he does, will it ever be as it was? NOMINATED BEST ANGST AND BEST DARK ON TUMBLR!
1. Sesshomaru-Present I

**I am probably so jumping the gun by putting this up now because this story is nowhere near done...but I want to because why not. Expect slow updates. **

**Important Notes: If you have not read my other stories that are all a part of a series there are characters that are not explained in this first chapter so here is a brief synopsis.**

**Sayako- Married Inuyasha and Kagome's son Sota.**

**Sota- Inuyasha and Kagome's first son**

**Taisho- Inuyasha and Kagome's second son**

**Mayumi- Inuyasha and Kagome's second daughter**

**Izayoi- Inuyasha and Kagome's first daughter**

**Yuki- Sesshomaru and Rin's daughter**

**Harutoga- Sesshomaru and Rin's first son**

**Taiyomaru- Sesshomaru and Rin's second son**

**Katsumoto- A sentinel, pure-blooded eventually Yuki's lover**

**At the end of Instinct Sesshomaru collects his nieces knowing that the Well has closed and their parents will not be able to return for ten years. **

**It will be important to notice which perspective is being used and the chapters will vary in length and only be told from one characters perspective at a time. The plot will go back and forth between past and present...so your brains might hurt but I got my inspiration from My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. If you haven't read it, you should. **

**There will also be several parts as the disease runs rampant over a ten year period.**

**Part One**

**Inferno**

**Sesshomaru- Present**

His hands shake. The tremors are getting worse. He knows if he does nothing, it's only a matter of months before he will no longer walk the earth. One of the last of his kind, it wasn't an easy pill to swallow.

Today though, they do not shake because of the illness that is taking over his body. Rather they tremble because of the scroll that Taiyomaru brought him from Higurashi shrine. It's almost pathetic that he had never thought to search through the ancient scrolls of Kagome's home for the answer he had been seeking for centuries. He knew it was a monk. He knew the monk was connected to Ungai, whose hatred of yokai was tripled because he was unable to stop Sesshomaru from freeing Rin when she was a little girl. But this, this scroll was the last testament of the monk who laid claim to the slaughter of his kind. For that, and because the well is already closed, Sesshomaru sits in a haze of sweat and confusion at work. Work…if his younger-self knew that he would become a savior of humans, the same humans who slaughtered his people.

"Are you going to read it Oji-sama?" Izayoi asks.

The well has been closed for six months. The girls have been brave over the last half year. Mayumi has finally stopped crying for her father and mother to come back at night. She's thirteen years old. She misses her brothers. She demands to know what happened to Taisho and Sota and her nephew Tatsuo. Because he is not the same demon he was five centuries before, he tells her stories before bed and tucks her in. He kisses the dark haired child's forehead as if she were his own. His lips lay softly where a crescent moon should grace her forehead. Her yoki simply isn't strong enough. One night she draws one on herself with a sharpie and falls asleep in his lap while he reads in his library. She's more human than she is demon.

She attends a local all-girls school in Osaka. She flies with him to his office and meets him there after school. Now she enjoys dive bombing out of the castle in the sky, holding onto his back and waiting for him to pull up. He waits until the last minute, always, until she is screaming so loud she is hoarse and her fingers dig into his shoulders. He used to do it as a dare to see if he could allow himself death. There's too much at stake now.

Izayoi is a different story. She mourned the loss of her father but quickly became interested in the inner workings of her Uncle's home. She learned to care for the many injured and the women who came to give birth. As much as Sesshomaru tries to remind those that have survived not to fight, killing is part of the nature of a yokai. Sometimes the injuries are more than yoki can handle. She was given the same medical skills he passed onto his children, IV's, blood-draws, ultrasounds and isolation measures for when he was forced to bring in those diseased. Thanks to her new skills, she now administers the injections that have been staving off his inevitable death. She's adept at finding his collapsing veins.

_Collapsing veins, _he can't help but flick his lips as his chin rests in his hands. One such as he, should not have veins that collapse because they are constantly stuck with a cocktail made from the blood of two of his sons and various other components to strengthen his failing nervous system.

When she became bored managing the home, she asked for more responsibility. Now she helps run his clinic in Osaka. She wears a scarf over her head to hide her pointed ears on top of her head and paints her face with make-up to hide the crescent moon on her forehead. She is eighteen now and every bit a young lady.

Sesshomaru worries what he will do in a few more years. She cycles like a human but there is no rush these days to pair her off. She doesn't look like a normal human. Her chosen one will have to come from one of the canine clans. Either one of her own distant cousins or from Shippo or Sayako's people. Reproduction is possible because she is more human than yokai. He thinks she will follow in his footsteps and study medicine. But he doesn't pressure. He knows that teenagers often do the exact opposite of what they are asked simply to spite those around them.

He closes his eyes and tightens his grip on the yellowed parchment. "Perhaps later," he cannot bring himself now to read what is hidden within this document. "Who is my next patient?"

"They canceled," Izayoi sits down on his rather gaudy desk. It's oak and more western than it is Japanese. It's made from a heavy wood that he pretends is impossible for him to pick up just to act as if he is one of the pathetic humans he treats. Everyone thinks he is magnanimous and benevolent for spending his days treating humans. In reality, he chose this specialty to save his own life. There is something familiar and insidious about the leukemic cells that he studies. The way they multiply and destroy system by system so homogenous to the leftovers of the disease that has rent his body.

As much as he yearns for death, to join Rin in the afterlife, there is much left to do before he leaves. He has perfected the cure, but has yet to be able to create a vaccine that would eradicate it completely. Harutoga and Yuki suffer from the same tremors that he does. Jaken and Shippo are near death. He is not ready to see more pure-blooded yokai move on to the afterlife. He is the sole proprietor of the medical knowledge available to the remaining demons in the world. There can be no waiting, if he doesn't act soon, even Yuki's lover will meet the same fate. Katsumoto was once the fastest demon in the world. He now lays in a mess of his own mucous barely able to move. There are so few of them left, he fears what will happen, that this is really the end.

**Please review!**

**If you want this rated M and need your lemons please let me know. I can add those in as well.**

**And if you are interested in reading a complete original non-fiction by me, check out my wattpad account. There is a link in my profile. It's all about my life with chronic illness for nanowrimo. Look this is me on hiatus. Who the heck am I kidding? LOL**


	2. Interlude-before

**Thank you for the reviews keep them coming. Take 2 posting this. FF put it all in HTML code.**

**Before**

**Present**

**10 years ago…**

It happened often these days. More-so in the last seventy years since Lover's Park became an official protected area of Osaka. People abandoned children on the bench that rested beneath the sakura tree. Sometimes there was a letter attached with pertinent details, sometimes there wasn't. It happened frequently enough that Sesshomaru asked one of his children to spend the night in the park one day a week to cover the days when he was on call. The only child that didn't was his willowy daughter Taka. Natsuki held a lingering fear that should her daughter step foot among man, she would be stricken with the same illness that massacred their kind.

That is why Tsukimaru lounged in the branches of the Sakura tree. He lived with his human lover in Mount Koya in a Vista hidden from the human eye. Every Saturday evening he flew down and spent the evening in the large park that was once his father's home with the human Rin. He brought his children to fan out around the entire area, in case a child was left in some other cranny of the grassy expanse. He had met Rin on many occasions when his mother would visit their home. He and Taiyomaru had always been exceptionally close despite the circumstances of his birth and the turmoil it caused. He wore his hair long past his waist. It was braided tightly behind his back, the tips of his ears tucked in. His youthful appearance was that of a sixteen year old. His mokomoko wrapped around his left shoulder, similar to his fathers. He made no effort in the hollow of evening to hide more than that. His cheeks carried the same double magenta stripes, his nails long, his forehead crescent mooned. The only difference were the stripes across the backs of his shoulders. His sensitive nose was just as well attuned as his father's.

His father had asked them to guard the park at night after an infant had died on the park bench from exposure in the 1970's. His golden eyes tracked down, people were coming. They smelled of the earth and fields, of flowers and vegetation. They probably came from the mountain regions. They set a sleeping child on the bench, then said a prayer by the statue of the dog with red eyes that spouted water from its mouth. Tsukimaru shook his head disappointed. There was even an orphanage that had been named after Lover's Park. Their family supported it financially. Where Sesshomaru had found his place in medicine, Tsukimaru still preferred a quieter life away from humans, although he had bonded one. He wrote tales of the past that were highly popularized.

They wore plain clothing that was tattered with holes. They left an envelope on the sleeping child's chest. The female human bent down and laid her lips on the child's forehead. They disappeared into the trees. He flew out of the tree, picking up the envelope. He sliced it open with the tip of his forefinger. It was written in broken Kanji, the letters sloppy and almost unreadable.

_No money. Sick. Blind. No hearing. No speaking. Find home. Thank you. Five years old._

He had learned from his own father how to sniff for illness. He bent over the sleeping child and inhaled deeply. His eyes bolted open. He drew in a deeper breath through his nose. His bottom lip trembled. He knew this smell. It was impossible. How could this child carry this scent? He dipped his nose into the sleeping child's neck, taking it in at a closer range. _Morning dew. _He refused to believe it. He had to act fast.

His children still looked like children despite being over fifty years old. He had four in quick succession, the fourth to spite his father and outdo him. "Shinobu, Shoumaru," he called to his eldest two sons. He knew they were nearby.

Two white haired children with cat ears on top of their heads came running from the bushes. "What is it Chichiue?" Shoumaru the eldest asked. They could pass for quadruplets the same way his father's hanyous looked like triplets. They stood the size of eight year-olds. Shoumaru had single magenta stripes on his cheeks, a moon on his forehead, and claws. His hair went to his shoulders as he stood in the moonlight. "Another one? At least it's been a few months since the last one."

"Guard her," Tsukimaru hovered into the air.

"Where are you going Chichiue?" Shinobu questioned his father, "Sofu-sama said to take them to the orphanage if we found them."

"Do not question me," Tsukimaru reprimanded them. "Guard her." He alighted into the autumn air, glad that cold did not affect him. He headed to his father's home in the sky. He knew that his father would not be there. He was not in Japan. There was a conference of Oncologists in Australia and a new outbreak of the disease in the outback among those yokai that had sought refuge there. It wasn't his parents he sought, it was his sister. The castle had been moved so it hovered just over Lovers Park making the trip less taxing on their father. He hovered by the door outside of Taka's room. He banged the wooden frame until she opened it, dressed in an elaborate emerald green kimono with several layers beneath it. "Come with me," he grabbed Taka by the wrist and yanked her out the door.

She had her own slender mokomoko that looped around her waist. "Tsukimaru, I'm not allowed to go down there!" She protested. "Chichiue and Haha-ue don't want me too!"

"You can't live your life forever trapped in the castle. What will you do when your first heat comes?" Tsukimaru laughed, "ask Katsumoto to impregnate you?"

She snarled at her brother. "Perhaps Chichiue will find someone suited to me in the next sixty years."

"We are the last of our kind Taka," they landed by the park bench. "There are no others." He knelt down and sniffed the child again. "Did she wake?" He asked his sons.

"No," Shoumaru answered sitting cross legged on the ground near the sakura tree. "She cannot hear? Or see?"

"That is what the letter said," he passed the envelope to Taka.

"Chichiue will kill me if he finds out I left the castle," Taka twitched nervously.

"You'll take a long bath, he won't be back for two weeks anyway," Tsukimaru reminded her. He knew this smell, the smell of morning dew, the smell of fresh flowers, the smell of _her. _"Taka, you will take this child to another country. Anywhere but here."

"What?" Taka gasped covering her mouth. "Chichiue told you to take the children found here to the orphanage!"

"No," Tsukimaru said quickly, "this one is different. Can't you smell it?" He growled low remembering how his mother had suffered in her heat waiting for his father to come and help her. She locked herself in her room for months crying, sweat covered, smelling sick. Even then, his father only stayed long enough he knew now to relieve her before he returned to this very spot where he buried his dead lover under the boughs of the sakura leaves. "It's her."

"Who?" Taka wasn't following his train of thought. She sniffed the air tasting it with her nose. "Eww she stinks like dirt."

"Her family was probably farmers," Tsukimaru inferred. "Taka, take her. Take her to China, to Russia, to England. I don't care where. She can't remain here."

"Why?" Taka tenderly removed the hair from the child's face. She had scars over her eyes, bruises on her cheeks. "She looks as if she was beaten. Do all humans smell like this."

"Obasan, maybe you should spend less time in the sky," Shinobu laughed. "She smells like a farmer's child."

"Take her Taka, now," Tsukimaru roared at his sister. "She is her. Father's human lover. I can smell it on her. They share the same scent, the nose and the cheeks are the same. I have seen pictures of this human when she was a child. She cannot stay here."

"You think Chichiue would fall in love with her again?" Taka finally picked up on Tsukimaru's concern. "Why does that matter? Haha-ue doesn't love him, we know that."

Tsukimaru only spared her an annoyed glance, shaking his head sadly. "You really are naïve. Pick her up and find somewhere for her to go that is not in Japan. Return before Haha-ue and Chichiue do. Wash yourself well, so they don't suspect you were out."

"What if I get sick?" She protested.

Tsukimaru exhaled exasperated, "then your brothers will rescue you."

"You know they don't like me," she complained hefting the sleeping child into her arms.

"He may not like you but Taiyomaru would not let you die," he gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Go my sister."

"Do you want to know where I take her?" Taka picked up the little child and the envelope.

"No," Tsukimaru replied. He spared a look at his two sons, "you will say nothing to Sofu-sama, Soba-sama or your sister and brother."

"It's really her?" Taka sniffed the shoulder of the girl. "How is she sleeping through this?"

"She can't hear," Tsukimaru touched the child's cheek with the back of her fingers. "And," he smelled her mouth, "they drugged her." He shook his head sadly. "Go Taka, before whatever it is they gave her wears off. They return in two weeks. That's long enough to take her out of the country."

"Tsukimaru he loved her…if this is her…why shouldn't he meet her? He misses her." Taka had never met Rin. She had only heard stories about her from her father and brother. Her hanyou siblings avoided her, were angry with her and refused to speak to her.

"He will break Haha-ue's heart," Tsukimaru bellowed, "if that happens their bond will break. We cannot risk it."

"She doesn't love him!" Taka fought back unsure of this decision.

"Yes she does. You just don't see it and neither does he. I will not let a child break them apart. Take her out of the country, to China, to Korea, to Vietnam, anywhere but here," Tsukimaru whistled signaling for the rest of his children. "Now Taka!" He screamed at his sister.

She jolted at the intensity of his voice, flying into the air with the child in her arms. "I'm sorry little one…I can't let you hurt Haha-ue," she lingered a tender kiss onto the child's forehead. "Where should I take you?"

Taka never returned home. Tsukimaru and his son's remained quiet, while their parents mourned for her. Sesshomaru returned to find her room empty her scent stale, another hole left in his heart. Natsuki fumed at him for his carelessness. "You shouldn't have expected her to live her entire life trapped in here," Sesshomaru rebuked her.

"Where is she?"

He comforted Natsuki, held her, made love to her to assuage her pain.

"If she gets sick? You know how awful it is, how long it lasts. If she can't get home in time, she'll end up like you," she sobbed against him.

"She'll come back…"

Ten years later she was still missing.

**Please Review!**

**Kimmigirl9: **_I know I can't wait to get more chapters on here too!_

**Guest#1:** _HAHA you are asking me to divulge the whole plot now..._

**Guest#2:** _Yeah in this story, actions have consequences. But it's interesting we can't always see them when we do and everyone writes that demons are hiding in the future. I wanted to do something original._

**Guest#3: **If only...


	3. Kagome-Past I

**Yay thank you for all the reviews. This story is going to be told in snippets. I am so far behind on my homework from sick kids and broken household appliances and exhaustion I have no idea when I'll be updating again. I'm not done writing this story. It's more complicated than my mother ones. Shit I had to up the rating...you guys know I can't resist writing some scenes LOL. **

**Kagome-past**

She kneads rice patties against a stone while sitting by the fire. There are times she still can't believe that she has spent the last twenty years of her life in the Feudal Era, if you don't count the last few years. There are conveniences of the modern era, like Kitchen Aid Mixers, Iphones, and Facebook that would make her life so much easier. As it is, she has to walk a mile to talk to Sango whose house is not only full of children but grand-children now. Kneading anything takes twenty or thirty minutes. She can treat the sick in the modern era with IV's and drugs that she can't transport back. **He **won't let her. There are side effects that he can't account for and she could kill someone, if she isn't careful.

It was difficult being away from her two sons, although Taisho and Sota came into their own under their Uncle's care. It's Sota she is most excited to see. Four years before, Sayako gave birth to their first child Tatsuo. He is a rambunctious, one-eighth inu-yokai, half-wolf demon with fuzzy black ears on his head, dark hair and golden eyes like his father. She sees him every couple of months. The travel is long and far. Sota and Sayako continue to lead a pack of ookami on Sesshomaru's southern border. They've successfully kept the Ogres at bay for the last five years since Rin killed the Ogre King. Kagome chuckles to herself. In the modern Era, her brother is dating a girl that her mother is sure he is going to marry. He's twenty eight, finished his residency as an OBGYN and landed an attending position in Osaka. At twenty eight she was already mother to four, at thirty five she became a grand-mother, something unheard of in the modern time.

She shakes her head, excited. Rin and Sesshomaru are coming with their children and Taisho. Mayumi and Izayoi are there, staying the night until they go back to the Modern Era tomrrow. Izayoi does school online, she is eighteen and so much a feminine copy of her father, it's scary. Mayumi is fourteen and is finally looking more like a young lady and less like a little girl. Her black hair falls in waves down her back. When Yuki comes, she'll fight with her cousins over who has the best moves. Harutoga will show them his new tricks and sit quietly next to the fire watching the glowing embers like his father and Taiyomaru who is no longer so small will beg someone to play tag or hide and seek. It's the family she never dreamed of having.

She can sense Inuyasha's yoki nearby. He has come home finally after spending the day hunting. A huge boar is slung over his shoulders. The girls come in behind him with herbs from the garden and fresh vegetables, a rainbow of color. "Come help me, they'll be here anytime now."

"Makes me wish they could call and tell us when they are coming," Mayumi laughs. She has her own cellphone. Her grandmother insisted she get one. "Ka-san, did you really get pregnant at eighteen?"

"Obasan got pregnant at seventeen," Izayoi smiles wildly. "But after being over there, I'm not sure anyone here would do the trick for me. I like the comforts of the modern world."

"And what would you tell your suitor about these?" Inuyasha tickles his daughter's pointed ears on the top of her head. "Would you tell them it's a headband? Plastic surgery?" After twenty years, he is well versed in the modern Era lingo.

She bats at his hands, "Ota, stop it!"

"Did you tell him about the boy you kissed?" Mayumi divulges her sister's secret as if it's hers to tell.

"Mayumi you promised!" She shrieks, her cheeks blushing.

"You kissed someone?" Kagome squeals so glad her children are experiencing life the way it is meant to be.

Inuyasha's face darkens. Kagome knows the protective side of him is not happy about this, but before he can open his mouth, Kagome has laid out tea for the girls in flowered china with a cast iron kettle hanging from the square hearth for when the guests come. She kneels down by their table in a simple blue kimono holding her girls hands, "so who was it?" The mother asks excitedly.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha flops down next to the girls, "I don't approve."

"You kissed me when I was fifteen and got me pregnant when I was eighteen. We're lucky all she's done is kissed," Kagome chuckles. "Who was he?"

"His name is Kai. I met him at the mall," Izayoi gushes about the boy.

Kagome doesn't listen. Her mind wanders to who will marry her daughter. There are possibilities in Sesshomaru's home. She's spoken about it with Sesshomaru from the future, but he fears she will expose them. He doesn't trust humans, yet Kagome has seen no sign of this killer virus. His tremors are bad these days. He is worried. She hasn't given up finding the cure to his disease. She's brought many samplings of his blood back to him to inspect, not just his but Shippo, Katsumoto, the children and any pure-blooded demon she can convince. She was going to search for a rare herb that Nobuatsu said could treat him. Nobuatsu is Jinenji's uncle and took over position as Healer in Rin and Sesshomaru's village. She's determined that the seizures will not take his life. But hope is frail and she hasn't had time to find the herb.

She glances at the fire, then grips the material of her azure kimono by her heart. "He keeps getting stronger," she rises from her knees and exits her hut leaning against the wooden-frame of the door. It's summer, their favorite time to get together. Yuki and Harutoga look like twins now. Their hair is tied back in long braids that go down to their backsides. They are the exact same size, although Yuki claims she is taller. They run up and hug her around the waist screaming, "Obasan!"

Taiyomaru jumps out of Sesshomaru's arms and runs inside the hut. His black hair is loose and he looks every bit a pureblooded demon despite his hanyou origins. She laughs and ruffles his hair. Izayoi and Mayumi tackle the children leading them from the hut into the forest. "Don't wander far!" Rin calls to her children.

"We're fine!" They yell back at their mother.

"Katsumoto," Sesshomaru commands the dark haired sentinel with an appallingly youthful face. Kagome's mouth hits the ground. He looks younger than the one she met in the future only one time. She covers her mouth trying not to blanch. He is as gorgeous now as he will be five hundred years in the future when he takes Yuki as his.

"He's gorgeous where did you get him?" She alights down the steps and hugs her sister-in-law.

"Don't ask," Rin glances back at Sesshomaru. She holds the hand of her demon lover, a man far less taxed than the one she has seen in the future.

"Onisama," she bows to her brother in law. Once she called him Onisan and he balked. She has learned that he is a proud demon that craves respect. In the beginning it drove Inuyasha crazy that she called him that, but it brought peace between them. She reaches out for a hug to receive the same annoyed look she had all those years ago. "Sorry," she laughs again, then ducks into the hut. She removes a book for him, "this is about epidemiology. There are notes from a doctor I know in my time. I think you'll like it."

He nods a thank you, the most he will say and walks into the forest. She knows he will sit and read the book under a tree. She knows exactly where this curiosity with medicine will lead him. It all started with tending to Rin after the Healer caused a miscarriage and she took her time waking up. Since then, he has asked for books and notes. She has done what she can for him without revealing where it's coming from.

Taisho comes running up after taking off Aun's saddle and bridle. He leaps into his mother's arms. His skin is even darker, but his eyes just as bright brown. "Taisho you've gotten so big!" She hugs him around the shoulders. He's taller than she is.

"I'm a man," he reminds her.

Inuyasha comes out and hugs his son. He squeezes his bicep proudly then goes out to the tree that Sesshomaru has found himself beneath. Kagome smiles. In the past they would battle and fight, greet each other with jibes and insults. Now, they talk quietly about what she has no idea. It's good to see them together. She still wonders why she has never seen Inuyasha in the future.

Another rush of Yoki and Sota and Sayako come from the bushes behind their home with two wolves behind them. One of them carrying their son on her back. The wolf's name is Ame. It's not the first time Kagome has met her. She runs to her eldest son, whose hair now looks more like his uncle's. He used to wear it short before he spent a year living with the dog-demon. "Sota! Tatsuo! Sayako!" She runs to her extended family embracing them all. She holds them all tightly then walks off with Tatsuo in hand. He kicks and screams and wiggles free chasing the scent of his aunts and Rin's children.

"His sense of smell is already that strong?" Kagome goes back to the hut with Sayako. Sota has already trailed off to the tree that is now occupied by Taisho, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.

"It begins early," Sayako's smiles. She still looks at Sota with the fondness of a newlywed.

"Hisato!" Kagome calls to the other shadow leaning against a tree, "can I get you anything."

"No, Miko," he answers with a smirk. He has never accepted her offers of kindness. He is always behind Rin like a shadow, there to protect her. "Does he ever eat?" She disappears into the hut.

"He takes care of himself. Besides if he becomes a guest, his defenses will go down. Which wouldn't be helpful now," Rin's voice becomes low. "Have you heard anything about monks and mikos attacking demons at random?"

"We haven't been back long," Kagome says quietly. "What's going on?"

"I've heard of it too. There is a band of monks purifying at random," Sayako says it nervously. The house suddenly becomes quiet. Kagome thinks of her daughters outside.

"Don't worry about them. Katsumoto is with them," Rin reminds her. "He is very fast. Faster than Sesshomaru," she adds on quietly. "They're safe."

"And Yuki," Sayako starts laughing. "The last time we visited the estate she left this," Sayako turns up her wrist revealing a jagged scar.

The women start laughing and then the stories start.

As the sun darkens and dinner is ready the children are called back. They all sit down to a meal together crowded in the hut. Thirteen people in a hut meant for six is suffocating. Kagome tries to convince the two sentinels to join but they keep their posts hidden in the trees outside. For once her hut is as loud as Sango and Miroku's. It makes her laugh watching everyone together. The children sleep in one big pile in the middle of the hut. Sesshomaru whispers something to Rin and exits holding her hand. Inuyasha slides an arm around Kagome, and tilts his head to the corner where Sota is holding Sayako intimately, kissing her lips for everyone to see. Kagome can only laugh. There is no warmth like the warmth of seeing someone love her son as much as she does.

In the other corner, the other three kids snigger and laugh at the couple. Just to embarrass them, she grabs Inuyasha by the long strands of hair that surround his face and lays a heavy one on his lips until she is sure his cheeks are blushing and a bulge pops up in the middle of his pants. His tongue dips into her lips, her tongue fights back. She moans angry that he was the one to make her react then they break apart when Rin enters alone.

"He had to go, some meeting at his mother's castle in the sky. I'm sorry. Apparently it was urgent," Rin sits down with a depressed look on her face.

Kagome squeezes Inuyasha's hand, and they all fall asleep for the night.

**Please review!**

**If you want snippets of Taka and the girl who is Rin's reincarnation please leave a review**

**Guest #1: **_I know they were little monsters for taking away Rin's reincarnation. _

**Sessrinloverx3: **_HAHA we will find out what happens with the sibling. Trust me there is going to be lots and lots of drama. I have plans for Yuki/Katsumoto and Taka. They are distant cousins. If you think about it, their great-grandfather's were brothers so they are very far removed it was also normal back in the day. _

**Guest #2: **_I know Tsukimaru is being a butthead. Why do you think Rin is the only one that experiences pain? These are cartoon characters. I love a good story, you can't do that with just fluff._

**Warriormaiden60:** _I haven't decided if I will give Rin and Taka some one shots but it's tempting. If you want it let me know. _


	4. Rin-Past I

**Yay thank you all for reviewing. You guys know how much I thrive off of them. I think Tuesdays/Wednesdays will be the update day. I got slammed with homework last week. This week is lighter so I may post again. **

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**Rin-past**

**Rin**

She wakes up first, finding herself worried. Her heart races. She feels the void next to her. Sesshomaru left quickly, with little warning. Everyone was too busy to notice that Gobodo-sama herself had called him away. He knows his mother's yoki so well. She sighs, the years have been easier since the Ogre King was killed. Her life is lighter. She still worries when he goes to the castle in the sky, fearful that being so close to Natsuki's yoki will reel him in again. But she has learned to trust him when he says that he doesn't feel the need to return to her and that their paths do not cross.

She has her own secret. When Taiyomaru was a baby and Sesshomaru spent a week away from home, Natsuki would often come to visit before he came to visit Tsukimaru in the castle. It was the only time the baby would stop crying. Now that they are both five, Tsukimaru is still very much a baby and Taiyomaru the same size as a human five year old. Taiyomaru still loves seeing his brother. Yuki and Harutoga hate it when she comes, but Rin knows the anger that can exist between a pure-blooded yokai and hanyou siblings. She cares too much for her children to repeat the past.

She stretches out aching joints. In her home she has a comfortable futon to sleep on. Here, it's just a bamboo mat that barely cushions her bones. She goes to relieve herself knowing that Hisato is following from a distance protecting her privacy. When she is finished she hears footsteps behind her. Kagome runs to her and holds her hand, "I figured it out." She tugs the younger woman into the forest.

"Figured what out?" Rin has no idea. She is tired, she didn't sleep well and she misses Sesshomaru. She follows anyway, trying not to trip on the leaves and twigs. Being dragged through the forest makes her as stealthy as an elephant stampeding on the savanna.

"Come on," she grabs Rin's hand and leads her to the Well. She goes in herself first and disappears for a few minutes. "What is she up to?" She asks Taisho who is standing by the well.

His muscles harden as he leans over it. "Hisato, you can take a break if you want. I'll watch her." The boy has grown in the last five years. He's no longer the rail thin thirteen year old that whined because his yoki wasn't strong enough. He knows how to use what he has and can harness much more of his spiritual powers. He spends one month a year training with Miroku then returns to help maintain the barrier around his Uncle's home and helps to guard the perimeter.

"Why do I get the feeling you are up to something?" Hisato folds his arms, he always folds his arms. His golden eyes harden like amber as he stairs Rin down. "Rin-sama?"

"Go on. I'll yelp if I need you," she says happy to be with her extended family. _Family, _she thinks of the word. Twenty years before she was an eight year old girl in a village where no one wanted her. She was beaten for stealing fish to eat. She was half starved and probably would have died the next winter if Sesshomaru hadn't found her. _You found me, _she hears his voice in her head. Like always, he insists, she found him. So many years together and the only words she uses for him in private is _my love. _He calls her, _my heart, _and between them they know what it means. He can feel because of her. She has a hard time imagining what he was like before she met him despite the stories she was told.

Then they made love and became more. Now she is related through marriage to Inuyasha and Kagome and has nieces and nephews, a yokai lover, three children and an overbearing controlling mother in law.

Kagome climbs back through, "kami this was easier when I was a teenager," she hands a bag full of items to Taisho that Rin has no idea what they are.

"What are you doing?" Rin asks them.

"Sending you through," together Kagome and Taisho set their hands on the protruding wooden lip of the well.

"You figured it out?" More than once Rin has wanted to see him in the future, to know the kind of yokai he has become. She worries about what will happen when age takes her and he is without her. She wonders if Natsuki is there, does she comfort him? She's nearly thirty, yet she still feels like she did in her early twenties. She smiles, wondering what he will think of her.

"I just called him. Now to convince the well to let you go through," pink and blue spiritual energy swirls around the mother and son feeding into the well.

"Oka!" Izayoi calls from the distance with a backpack on. Mayumi follows behind her older sister. Instead of leaving for the night they decided to stay. They leap through the Well and disappear.

She never believes it when she sees it. She is even less inclined to think it will work this time.

"You need different clothes," Kagome throws her another bag. "Put that on."

Rin removes the garment from the bag. She knows it's clothes from Kagome's time. She even knows how to put them on, hiding behind her kimono for modesty. She steps out dressed like a woman from the future in a light yellow dress and a lavender cardigan. "Take this," she hands her katana to Kagome. She climbs over the side of the well and carefully leaps in. At first she lands in the mud, nothing happens. Her feet squish against the goo below. She rests a hand on the sides made of jagged stone, _let me see him. Please?_

"Just wait!" Kagome calls, "don't stay longer than an hour. I don't know how long we can hold it!"

She is swallowed in a mixture of neon blue and bright pink lights that wrap around her body. It takes her breath away as she is sent to the other side

**Please review!**

**If you have not read Instinct, the interaction between Rin and Sesshomaru is in the last chapter, "All is Revealed". If you want me to write it in, I can. But it doesn't fit continuity-wise. It's before Mayumi and Izayoi were trapped on the other side and after Taka left with Rin's reincarnation. So it would just be weird. If you haven't read it please do and then please drop a review on that story too.**

**If you want a response before I put up the next chapter, just write in the review, please respond on twitter. **

**Gina: **Yes I did update and here's another one. Please find me on twitter, then you will know when I am updating.

**Guest#3: **We need to give you a name. Like Uberawesomesauce for reviewing. I think Rin expresses the most pain. Sesshomaru gets his fair share. Funny enough a user on AO3 wrote on Lost Memories, he's the one that needs a break. So interesting how we can all view things from different angles. No one has ever told her to keep her mouth shut and she never has. She voices herself over and over and just hold on...this story is going to be emotionally intense.

**Sessrinlover: **You too, follow me on twitter! No drabbles are not over. These are not replacing them. These are a completely separate story. Drabbles are plot fillers. This story will get more attention than drabbles as is what usually happens when I'm writing a new story.

**Guest#1: **Oh yes, because of your review I have gone back and written some more Interludes. I'm not sure how they will be spaced. The Interludes will have their own plotline to a point, then there is the plotline with future Sesshomaru and then the Past Plotline. So I'm trying to keep it as simple as possible. Thank you for your patience.

**Guest#2: **I know right? How awful is it that Rin is just born and discovered and then whisked away just as Sesshomaru is on his death bed?


	5. Sesshomaru-Past I

**Thank you for all the reviews! I'm loving getting them. Be prepared...**

**Okay so if anyone has not read Instinct, 1. you should. 2. Sesshomaru bonded a pure-blooded demoness named Natsuki. She is around 357 years old and bore him a son named Tsukimaru. Basically when it comes to being around his own kind, dude has no self control. Kensaku is the Lord of the West and Natsuki's father.**

**I did not make Sesshomaru Lord of the West. That is a fan theory and honestly an overused plot-device. In Sesshomaru's Fear he took lands that are around the middle part of Osaka, aka the middle of Japan. Gobodo-sama made a deal with Kensaku if their children were to have a relationship, Kensaku would concede lands willingly to Sesshomaru and be an ally. I think that's all the important stuff.**

**Ya'll I am so sick right now. Stupid bronchitis...**

****story promotion time** if you want me to promote your story, please pm me. I am always looking for new things to read. I've been working with kimmigirl9 on Kiss of Fate and so far it's my favorite. It's AU, it's fluffy for all you people that think I can't write fluff...**

**And Reflected Past which is a very old FF that starts out with Sess/Midoriko then Rin/Sess. It's really cool! **

**Sesshomaru-past**

"What is the meaning of this?" He questions his mother as he lands at the steps of her castle. She herself had come for him demanding his presence, _your life and the life of your family depends on it_. The summer gatherings had been happening since Sota became one with Sayako. Rin looked forward to them as did their children, particularly because of the time spent together. His lover ached when he left, but his mother is not one to mince words.

Lining the stairs are rows of demons higher up in the aristocratic ranks of Inu-yokai, including Kensaku the father of Natsuki. In the past a peace had been made between Kensaku and Sesshomaru contingent upon his relationship with Natsuki. She has kept her distance to give him time with Rin.

The dog demons are dressed in pompous robes of various royal colors, representing the different clans of Inu-yokai. They are of silver, black and brown hair. Their eyes are cold and hard as they observe him walking up the steps.

Off to the side, Natsuki lingers holding their son in her arms. He curses that the very sight of her causes a pinch in his heart. He catches her gaze for a moment before pivoting away from his mother in a fury. He will not stay and listen to this. He has never been part of their counsel and he will not begin now.

Gobodo-sama catches his arm just above the elbow, "Kensaku has filed a formal complaint." The words are spoken through clenched teeth that scrape together as the words exit her mouth. She is dressed in her finest robes, maroon and gold, the colors of his father.

He tightens his lip scoffing, "a complaint? Against this Sesshomaru? On what grounds?" Honor and prestige are a part of their nature. There is a silent agreement amongst their kind that makes his mother the head of their kind. Living for as long as she has and being superior in strength will do that.

Again his eyes track against his will to Natsuki in the corner. She is holding her head high as Tsukimaru continues to struggle in her arms. But then something happens. He feels his bond to Rin fade. He stares at the dog demon, silver haired and pompous, single stripes under the eyes, fangs like them all, with four mokomokos. He is by far in age Sesshomaru's superior but fails to match him in strength. He grips the hilt of his katana angrily. Something is wrong, he can no longer feel Rin. He turns to leave as quickly as he came.

Gobodo-sama catches his arm again, "this has to be dealt with." Her nose is near his, tone low and forceful.

"It can wait," he rips his arm loose turning his back on the ones behind him, an insult. New enemies will be made from his lack of decorum, but he can't feel Rin and this makes his heart race. The old pain is still there, the old fears of her leaving him and hiding their children, of months spent searching and no scent to lead him to the ones he loves.

"He isn't going to let it go," she follows him down the steps, "dammit, Sesshomaru stop. You don't understand what is at stake!"

His bottom lip trembles in rage. The only outward sign of his anger, "why is she here?" He can't help but stare at Tsukimaru. He looks like a six month old now. He wobbles when he crawls, the baby is crying in earnest now, reaching for his father. His hair is mousy and curled around his ears making for a silver snowfall. Sesshomaru can see his first fangs peeking out between two cherry red lips. When he visits him now, they play hide and seek. He hides in the garden behind a tree while his infant son crawls around finding him. He sings softly songs of their kind until Tsukimaru falls asleep in his arms.

_I'm sorry, _Natsuki mouths to him bouncing the baby on her hips. Her eyes have rings around them, her fingers are tense along the chunky hips of the baby. Something is wrong with her and he hates himself for wanting to pull her aside and ask how he can care for her.

He ignores her, consumed by the lack of Rin's bond in his awareness. His thumb finds the scar over his heart, the jagged emblem left by his father. _It's still there, so it hasn't broken_, but her awareness is gone.

"He has threatened an all-out war if you continue to shame his daughter," his mother circles around him like she did when he was a child, ensuring that she has his rapt attention.

"I have done nothing to his daughter!" He bites back at his mother, too furious to speak further. _Is that what this is about?_

"That is the problem! Return in three days. I will hold him off for that long," the hand restraining him leaves his arm, allowing him to leave.

"Your meddling is what caused this in the first place," he spits at her. If his mother had left well enough alone, Touma would have never found out about Natsuki and he would have never hurt Rin the way he did. _Where is she? _He can't think, his mind is occupied with thoughts of the lover he can't feel.

"If I hadn't, he would have challenged you with an army loyal to him. Even you the Great Sesshomaru would not have survived that. It is not our way to spurn one to make the other happy Sesshomaru. Your human must learn to accept Natsuki as part of your life," she walks away so gracefully unannoyed he wants to slit her throat.

He jumps into the air and calls on his yoki to glide back to the village where he left Rin. He can't feel her and despite the branding over his heart being intact, he fears he worst. There is an unspoken uneasiness between them. They have lived happily but behind the curtains of comfort he knows she fears him falling to his instincts again and he suffers trepidation that she will leave again.

He is brought out of his thoughts by a clawed hand attempting to catch his neck. He grabs it so forcefully, the hand leaves the wrist spurting blood on his mokomoko. It's one of Kensaku's guards and another right behind them. "You disgrace your kind!" One of them yells at him.

He cares not for their words. For this vermin, his katana is unnecessary. He revels in the feeling of warm blood dripping down his fingers, staining his garment. He slashes the second one in the stomach as they twist in the wind, removing what he is sure is the duodenum, ileum and jejunum, strange words he has learned from the books he reads. He turns on the one who's hand he removed, breaking his neck. "Simple vermin," he has an idea now what is going on and what this meeting will entail. There is truth in his mother's words, he cannot withstand the attack of an army of his own kind. Their peace is ruptured and he fears what he must do to keep it.

As he lands in the village, Hisato is resting in a tree with his eyes closed. His black hair is tied into a tight pony tail as he uses his black mokomoko to rest on. Rin's scent is absent.

Sesshomaru slashes the branch out from underneath the sleeping demon with his whip, sending him falling. To his regret Hisato catches himself before he lands back first in the mulching leaves. "Where is she?"

"With Taisho," Hisato rights himself. "I did not leave her unprotected. She is as safe here, as she is home, you know that or you wouldn't have allowed her to grow up here."

He takes affront at that comment and lashes out, relieving some of his frustration on Hisato. The black haired demon, bound to his mother ducks, the first few blows, then a blocks his kicks and his slashing claws. Years of training together has made Hisato that much more cunning. He finally grabs him by the neck and roars, "what is Kensaku doing?"

"It is not our custom to spurn one lover to make the other happy, Sesshomaru-sama. He claims you have humiliated his daughter and shunned her. If you don't allow Natsuki to live with you, and you continue to refuse to honor the bond you made to her, he will bring a force and attack your home."

"Rin," he doesn't need the answer, he knows who the target will be.

"Yes," Hisato pushes the clawed hand off his neck. Together they walk into the clearing where the Well is.

"How many is his army?" He questions as gazes into the grass.

"Several hundred strong at least," Hisato trails a few paces behind Sesshomaru as is custom.

"How many in humanoid form?"

"Over a hundred," the younger demon informs him.

Sesshomaru stops, facing Hisato he cocks his eyebrows. Today the guard wears his traditional forest green haori with black hikama, "and where will your loyalties lie if I choose war?"

Hisato is one of the most powerful amongst his sentinels but also the lover of his mother. "I am sworn to protect Rin-sama. By my blood or my death, her life will be preserved."

"And if your lover," he sneers. He cannot fathom why his mother chose someone barely over the age of five hundred, "decides that her life is expendable?"

Hisato lowers his eyes, his fists clench, clearly conflicted. "I swore to her to protect Rin-sama. It would be dishonorable to go back on that oath."

Sesshomaru's chest slackens in relief not just at Hisato's words but at the sudden springing of Rin into his awareness. Her scent hits him strongly, but is coated in something foreign. Something that makes no sense, something that can't be.

**Just remember the interaction between future Sess and Rin is in the last chapter of Instinct.**

**I think because these are so short, we'll shoot for 2 a week. Look for updates, Tuesday-Thursday.**

**Please Review! Follow me on twitter to know when there will be more updates. **

**Sessrinloverx2:** Patience is no fun. I want to just sit and work on this story but I have homework and no patience to do that. I am also not a social media user. About 3 years ago I deleted my facebook account and haven't looked back. I prefer real friendships but at some point I would love to publish an original so I want to grow my circle. Also I find it annoying on this website there is no reply button like on wattpad and AO3. At least there if someone leaves me a review I can press reply instead of waiting until I publish the next chapter. As to why Natsuki is visiting their home. In the end of Instinct it's fairly clear that Rin and Natsuki made their peace with each other. The majority of her hurt and pain was directed at Sesshomaru not Natsuki. Natsuki was just a pawn and a bitch, but in the end she changed enough that Rin held some respect for her. The other thing is that Taiyomaru is kind of a brat. He cried like crazy unless his father was there and when he wasn't he only calmed if he was with Tsukimaru. Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru have a very special connection.


	6. Rin-Past II

**Thank you all for reviewing! I am grateful for the kind comments and encouragement. I am posting this now because it's come to my attention that the community book sale my husband and I run is in a month and he and I have done jack crap to work on it and finals are coming up in two weeks for one of my classes. I should still be able to get a second chapter up this week, but I need to deal with my personal life before it spins out of control because all I want to do is write! This is my last year and then my bachelors will be complete. I am so excited.**

******Lemon Warning**** you can thank esther247 for making me write that**

**Rin-past**

She knows she is in trouble the moment she sees him coming from the trees. Immediately she backs away tripping on some twigs. His eyes are raging, they're near turning red. She is still dressed in the modern clothing. She hasn't had a chance to wash the scent of the older Sesshomaru from her body. Tears still stain her cheeks. It was so hard saying good-bye to him knowing that her death caused a permanent hole in his heart that was never filled. She wanted to stay with him and return to this one all at the same time.

"Where were you?" He fumes at her.

"I…" she knows she has to lie. She backs away and almost trips back first into the well.

Kagome is shaking her head over his towering shoulder and motioning Taisho to be quiet. No one knows about Sesshomaru of the future but Rin and Kagome and now the teenage boy. She knows that secrecy is must. If the yokai before her knew that he would turn into a doctor that treated humans, he really would refuse just to spite himself. She is proud of who he will become and for that she must lie to the one she loves the most.

"Um…I was here," it is a ridiculous attempt to hide the truth from him, especially dressed the way she is. The back of her knees knock into the well throwing her off balance.

He catches her before she falls. "Wearing this?" He tugs at the front of her dress with his index finger. It dips low showing a fair amount of her chest.

"Yes," she forces confidence to flow from her lips.

He raises an eyebrow at her gripping her arm just above the elbow joint. He storms off with her into the forest, "where were you?"

They're covered by bushes and trees, out of everyone's eyeshot and she prays earshot because he is furious. His nose is in her neck, running up her jawbone and stops over her lips. His breath beats at her skin, giving her goosebumps. His fingers clasp over her chin, sniffing the plump petals, "someone kissed you."

"Someone in the village," she knows it was the wrong thing to say the second it leaves her lips. She flinches at the pain to her chin.

"I don't smell him. What I do smell is a liar," his fingers hold her face, leaving marks on her chin.

Tears leave her eyes, her face stings, "you're hurting me," she tells him attempting to move his hand. "Let go," she shoves him backwards rubbing her chin. If there is one thing she refuses to tolerate from him, it is when he becomes overly aggressive. One day a woman came for a poultice when she lived with Kaede-sama. She was sent from the hut, but overheard the woman crying about the bruises her husband left on her. As a child who was beaten often, it was something she told herself would not happen to her.

He closes the distance between them. "Tell me the truth," he nuzzles the mark he left behind. "You are keeping something from me."

"What happened at your mother's?" She asks him just as boldly, hoping that the subject change will help.

"Nothing," he says just as quickly at her words.

"You're lying to me," she wraps her arms around his shoulder. "Can't you just accept that some heated male thought I was beautiful and decided to kiss me?" That wasn't an entire lie. She hoped it was enough to silence him. She runs the back of her hand down the side of his face, "what's wrong?"

His face is more lined than it was in the past. He looks thoroughly exasperated with her. It makes her giddy knowing that she has this much control over him.

He doesn't speak but she recognizes the look in his eye, the one of possession, the one that screams _mine. _His nose sniffs down the front of the dress, a claw slitting into the fabric down the back baring her skin to him as he does. The dress drips down her shoulders. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"This means I remove a cloth that smells foreign," he pulls a leg over his shoulder as he kneels down and his nose finds somewhere else that makes her fingers dig into his shoulders. She can hear him sniffing, the uptake of wind both tickling and arousing. He scoffs, "he only kissed you."

"I promise, kami Sesshomaru, not here. Someone will hear," fire shoots through her. Now he is in control and she can only hang on for dear life. She grips his shoulders, fingers digging into his muscles. Her knee bends slightly at the feeling of invading fingers tugging on her lacy underwear.

"Then I suggest, you try to not make so much noise," the honed claw slits into the side of her pink panties. "Why do you wear these?" He slits off the side of the other. They fall by her ankles as his nose once again pokes into the line of her lower lips. A tongue dips into the slit, lovingly licking her in a way that is too teasing. His mouth wanders back up and sucks against the muscles right under her navel, then stops. The curved back of his finger runs up and down her bare privates making her cringe. "Why do you insist on wearing these things. They get in the way."

She chuckles holding his head, running her fingers through his hair. She slides her thumb and forefinger over the tips of his ears. She knows it calms him so she takes advantage of it. "They keep my bottom covered."

"Hikama will do that," he says firmly still massaging her with the back of his finger.

"Kagome-sama brings them for me. They're more comfortable and if you keep cutting them I won't have any left!" She shudders as the finger runs back down, teasing her.

"I see I have some shredding to do," his lips place a chaste kiss below.

"What are you doing?" She tries catching her breath. For a moment she thought this would be a quick interaction but now he wants to draw it out.

"Thinking," he parts her lips and nuzzles her clit.

She whistles trying to stifle a moan. "I'm going to fall down."

"I'll catch you," he grips her waist. "Do you know the agony your opening experiences in childbirth? The way it stretches?"

"Yes, I'm the one that gives birth to the babies remember?"

"I did feel your pains with Yuki," he reminds her then sucks.

"OH!" She puts a hand over her own mouth, her knee bends, she holds onto his head. His tongue darts in and out, then licks up and he sucks again. She bites her lip to keep the sounds in. "You've been reading more of those books! Kami…oh," his fingers have found their way inside.

"Anatomy is fascinating," he whispers against her lips then sucks deeply, pulsating with his tongue. "Like this is called a clitoris. I wouldn't have termed it that. It's more like the petal of a flower."

"You really are going to sit and talk while you- eek!" Now there are roaming fingers. He's all but supporting her weight as she holds on. He finds a place that is so sweet it's almost painful inside of her.

"But so sensitive," his lips meet it again, "and sweet like nectar," his tongue begins vibrating against it.

"You are evil," she hisses into his ear moaning quietly. She nips at his ear to punish him and attempts to make herself relax. The fire begins to bloom in her belly, the one that she knows is going to have her yelling soon. "Please say there is no one in the forest?"

His fingers massage her, "you know this swells when you are excited." The two upturned fingers push against a bulge at the front of her vagina.

"Ah!" She cries into his ears.

"So sensitive. The children are near the river. Sota and Sayako are making love in the bushes. If you are too loud," he jabs the spot harder.

"Oh!" It comes out as a hoarse whisper.

"They will hear you," he sniggers against her clit. "Are you trying to stop yourself from finishing?" He removes his face from her nether regions and lifts her eyes.

She gazes down at him, his mouth is lightly covered in her warmth. She raises an eyebrow at him and smirks, "are you making love to me to assert your dominance and possession?"

He pulls her down by the shoulder and flips her onto her back. "Very well then, see how long you can resist this Sesshomaru. Just know one of the books I read is on the female sex organ and I know just where," his mouth covers her swelling bud again while the fingers find the swelling tissue inside that squeezes in pleasure.

"Oh…oh…" She covers her mouth and watches the sky. _Trees, limbs…leaves…oh kami I'm going to scream. _The fire turns into an inferno. It burns a whole through her middle. She tries to wiggle away from him only to be pulled back.

"To touch you," one last thrust of his fingers and she feels the first pulse inside the deep pleasure. But then he stops and she's left hanging on the edge.

"I can't believe you!" She sits up, "you're really stopping?"

"No," he touches her again in the same spot inside, "I was giving you a chance to catch your breath."

They both smile as their lips meet and she falls onto the forest floor in ecstasy. Those fingers, he pumps inside of her again, hitting the same place over and over and over until she is humping his fingers. Then it takes over her, and she is shaking so hard she can't move.

He laughs watching her. She is completely naked and all he has done is remove his armor and katanas and opened his haori. She is covered in sweat and trembling from the pleasure he has given her. "Roll over."

"Oh this," she stumbles trying to get on all fours. "I can't move." She's still shaking from the after effects of her orgasm.

He nips at her neck and lifts her off the forest floor onto her hands and knees. He gives her no warning before entering. "Shall we see if I can make you finish again?"

She gathers her hair from over her shoulder and moves it to the side. "Only, mhh," the first thrust hits her, she widens her legs. "if…you…" he continues pushing against her.

"Can't finish your sentence?" He beats into her again.

"Ah!...Deeper?"

He has her now and she knows it. She widens again, arching for him so he can push himself further inside of her. "Harder," she whimpers under his pressure. He knows what she likes and she knows it. "Oh," she digs her nails into the soil.

"Try to be quiet," he licks her cheek playfully before the next thrust nearly knocks her over.

She once asked him what his obsession with this position was. Trust and submission was part of it, but as the years ticked by he admitted that it also gave him full control and like this, she was shielded and protected by his body, the way they were meant to be. His fingers find her sweet spot again and she's stifling the need to howl. They aren't in their home which means if she's not careful the whole village will hear them. "Don't move," he demands of her while one arm holds her torso still. Then he loses control and he's jamming himself so quickly inside of her, hitting that spot he had with his fingers that she screams once then she is climaxing so hard her hands shake and she can't move. "Don't move," he slams into her one last time. She feels his seed filling her. They both know it won't result in another child. He hovers over her until the last drops come out then he pulls them both to the forest floor.

"Mmh," she curls into his chest no longer caring that she has nothing to wear. He removes his haori and hands it to her after pulling his hikama back on. "You liked that."

"Very much," he whispers in her ear. "I have to leave again."

The words cut through her. "We're supposed to be having family time right now," she swallows to avoid the tears.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't feel you. Where did you go?"

"I was here," she says firmly, hoping he can't smell the lie crossing her lips.

He rubs his forehead with his fingers then kisses her brow.

"How long?" She kisses the underside of his chin.

"It will be for some time."

"You really can't tell me?" She knows he is hiding something too. "What's going on?"

"It's better if you don't know."

"How long?"

**Please review!**

**SessrinloverX2: **_I'm going to kindly ask you to keep your comments about how you think I should have written my stories to yourself as they aren't constructive, they aren't even criticism and any further spamming on my stories will result in me not approving your reviews. I love freedom of speech but I think we all get that if you would have written these stories, you would have told a different one. So please write your own stories. In Re: Lost Memories Review, again all that is doing is saying how I should have written the story...It's getting a bit out of hand at this point. Thank you._

**Guest:** _There is going to be some fall out. I haven't decided with what yet...but there will be...especially between father and son._

**Irivel:** _Thank you so much for your lovely review! I really hoped to force the characters to grow. I honestly felt like Instinct added a richness too. I think I have said it a few times, but there are so many stories that write these two the exact same way, but with varying plot-lines. I wanted to do something original with my plot-lines and one of my goals has been to see how emotional I can make Sesshomaru in particular. It's been an adventure and this will be the last one. I want to write an original, possibly a borg origin fanfic and a Law and Order SVU Fanfic as well. So after this I'll still drabble from time to time, but I want to move on to other fandoms for a while. _


	7. Interlude II-before

**Yay thank you all for reviewing!**

***Just a note on Reviews* Something weird is happening. My reviews aren't showing up. I get the emails but they aren't on the story so if I missed anyone please let me know! I tried to make sure I went through my email and what was on the story. ERG!**

**Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone**

**Interlude II**

**Before**

There are things she didn't think about when she decided to keep the child with her. They were simple things like, food and not knowing where to acquire food for herself or the child. In the castle, all of her needs were provided for. At least she knew what to feed the child. Harutoga visited often and she still remembered more than eighty years before when Tsukimaru brought a human home. Chichiue had nearly decapitated Tsukimaru for bringing her and risking their security, but he had fallen in love and the girl's family had died in the Truku War. He wanted permission before bonding her. Chichiue wasn't happy at all. He wanted Tsukimaru to bond a pure-blooded demon or at least someone with more dog-demon blood in them. He had four hanyous.

That was when Taka learned about sex. She had sat outside the door listening to the moaning only to get in trouble from her father. She was still a virgin. Sesshomaru and Natsuki hadn't let her near anyone. She tried to seduce one of the ones that was more than human but less than pure-blooded, but it failed horribly. She didn't know what she was doing and Sesshomaru caught her with her skirt down, literally and nearly killed the person trying to sleep with her. She never tried again. Being lectured on the risks of going into heat too soon stopped her.

She flew across the ocean into China. It was then she learned that the Fox Demons watched the borders for her father. She was stopped by one she had seen in her father's castle. He had long red hair and big green eyes with a few tails sticking out of his back. She couldn't think of a good excuse as to why she was taking the child out of the country and they had been introduced before. She gassed him with her claws keeping the child's face wrapped in her mokomoko and flew faster over the ocean. He yelled for her stop, but didn't mention the child. She knew she was in the clear.

Around then the child started squirming in her arms. They landed in a forest near the eastern shore. She put the child down just as she started screaming. There were tall bamboo shoots and a source of fresh water nearby. That was when she learned that the girl had a few hand signs to communicate. The child would hold a cupped hand to her mouth when she was thirsty and when she was hungry her fingers would close almost like the beak of a duck and she would peck at her own lips. She cupped herself when she needed to pee and Taka wasn't a big fan of that one. She taught her instead to make her fingers look like rainfall. "This is going to be interesting isn't it?" Taka watched as the girl felt around the forest. She started signing for something else Taka had no idea what it was and then she fell down, tripping on some logs and started crying.

Taka sat down with her. The girl sniffed her and tried to run. "No…no…" Taka covered her mouth, "you can't hear me. Okay," she moved the girl's hair behind her shoulders. She kept shrieking animalistic howls. "What was I thinking? How can you be Chichiue's lover?"

Suddenly the girl picked up Taka's mokomoko and rubbed it against her cheek smiling. That gave the demoness an idea. She had only done it a few times in the past. Her father had said that if he had wanted he could look like a dog humans kept as pets in their homes. She forced her transformation to remain minimal and turned into a white dog. She nuzzled and licked the girl's face. She led the girl through the forest, until she found something for them both to eat. There was a berry bush she gave to the child and for herself she caught a rabbit.

The child started signing for food again and then Taka remembered that humans eat meat too. "How the hell do I cook? Fire?" She didn't have matches and she couldn't create fire. The girl continued crying. Taka didn't have matches, and her yoki couldn't make fire but then she wondered if she could heat the whip hot enough. That didn't work either. So she decided to wait until the child stopped crying and fell asleep. Eventually she did and they were flying again. Taka transformed back into her human form and eventually they landed in a city. She flew into an alley and used her nose to find food. She landed behind a restaurant. "You stay," she pushed the girl against the wall.

The girl started walking down the dank black alley. Her feet splashed in puddles.

"No I said stay…great you can't talk," Taka growled, transforming back into the dog and pushed her nose into the child's stomach. When the girl tried walking off again, she pushed her back against the wall. She bit down on her fingers enough to make sure the child felt the deep throated growl.

She whimpered but then stayed put.

_Finally, _Taka thought to herself as she ran out of the alley. She found an open window in the kitchen leapt through the window. Her body fluidly transformed into her humanoid form. She hid behind a large shelf filled with bread and glanced at the clothes that everyone else wore, then her own. _They would dress me traditionally. _She had no idea how to shop for herself. She knew that she would need money, something she hadn't thought of before leaving Japan. _Great…_ she walked around the shelf pulling her hair back into a braid. She closed her eyes, forcing her mokomoko to disappear. She pulled two loaves of bread off the shelf then jumped back through the window changing into her dog-form before pushing some bread into the hand of the child. She watched as the girl ate. The child was a train wreck. She took big bites out of it, some of it fell out of her mouth, she smacked so loudly it hurt Taka's ears. She whined, standing up then pushed the girl's mouth shut while she chewed. When the mouth opened she nipped at her fingers and took a small bite handing it to the girl. When the little girl's mouth opened wide and smacked, she nudged it shut with her wet nose.

_Now for money, _Taka sat and thought while she ate. _Chichiue comes to China often…I can't stay here. _ As the child finished she led her down another alley. They needed different clothing. The child was dressed in old rags and in her humanoid form she wore elaborate kimonos made of the finest silk. She suddenly had an idea if she could find one. Strangely despite the technological revolution, China still had many payphones. She found one transforming into her human form she kept her mokomoko wrapped around the little girl's waist to keep her from wandering. She picked up the payphone and searched for resell shops. She found an address then glanced around. It was afternoon, people were milling around. She was surprised no one said anything about the big white fluffy mass sticking out of her back or the raggedy little girl she had. Taka didn't look like the people around her. They had black hair and slanted eyes like those in Japan but spoke an entirely different language. _Okay…I can do this…_

She pushed the girl into another alleyway and transformed back into her dog-form. She led the girl down one street, then another and another until she found what she was looking for. They found their way into the back alley. She did it again asking the girl to stay against the wall in a corner. She switched again finding her way into the shop. The woman greeted her, Taka simply waived and said hello in Japanese. The woman gave her a thumbs up. Taka pointed to the fine silks she was wearing then at the other clothes. _Money talks, that's what Chichiue said. _

She was able to hock her fancy clothes for regular T-shirt and jeans as well as clothes she thought would fit the girl with some money left over and a bag to carry things. She thanked the shop owner and found the little girl still waiting for her.

And that was how they continued their journey. Taka had many new things to learn. The money lasted them until they made it into England and at that point she had to figure something else out. She learned about computers and iPhones and centuries of things she had missed locked away in the castle. She spent several days in the library trying to figure out what happens to human children who don't have parents. Of course that meant learning to type in a language her father had only somewhat taught her. He spoke English fluently and spent time teaching her to speak it. The century they spent in America, she was left at home in the castle. She fumbled through the computer and found that the best schools for deaf and blind children were in the United States. She knew she couldn't fly over the ocean. The child wouldn't sleep that long and she couldn't fly for that long.

_Orphan? _Taka exhaled upset. _She's going to end up in a foster home. _She decided to type in "deaf-blind schools" next. _Chichue also said a good education is worth the cost. _He ought to know, he had done it twice. She found schools in the United States, one in particular in San Francisco caught her attention. _That's it. I'm taking her there so she can learn to communicate. _Which led to another search about orphans in the United States. _Foster homes…_she won't have a family. She glanced down at the little girl snuggled into an invisible part of her mokomoko. _I'm sorry little one…_

"Dammit," she sighed then lowered her head against the computer screen. She had gotten good at keeping the child near her. She was hungry, tired and had half a mind to go back to Japan, or call her father to rescue her from her own stupidity.

"Hi," she heard someone say from behind her.

"Hi," she said with a heavy accent.

"Are you Swedish?"

Taka started laughing, "Japanese."

It was a young man with dark hair and blue eyes. He was taller than her and smelled of something foreign she wasn't sure. "Maybe I can help you?"

She opened her mouth then closed it thinking it would be safe. Her little girl slept by her feet on the ground while Taka did her research. "Help what?" English was not her strong suit.

"Let's go for a walk. Do you want get a drink? Something to eat?"

Taka let his smell drip into her senses. He smelled wrong but behind his backside she saw a fat wallet full of cash. "Sure," she answered and then lifted the little girl off the floor carrying her.

"Who is that?" The greasy brown coated man asked her.

"Little sister," Taka answered.

"You don't look Japanese. What are those marks on your neck," he traced the markings on Taka's throat.

She had half a mind to slap his hand off her skin but she had an idea. She knew what he would want. If Chichiue could kill night robbers five hundred years ago, she figured robbing this guy wouldn't be that far out of the question. She followed him into an alleyway then into a bar. They sat down at a booth. "Hey you want a drink?"

She nodded her head. He passed her something and Taka had to force herself not to laugh. She could smell it was laced with something that didn't belong in it. It wouldn't work on her, neither would the alcohol. "So how old are you?"

"How old I look?" She said seductively. She had learned a few things about getting what you wanted from a man from her mother. Her mother always seemed to be able to get her father to do what she wanted.

"Young. You old enough to drink that?" He pointed at the drink he gave her.

"I bet I older than you think," she sipped the drink through the green straw, licking the tip. "You buy food for little sister. I do what you want."

He turned around to flag down a waiter.

Taka had to hold back herself from puking, the place smelled like stale alcohol and human sweat. She handed the girl the bowl of chips helping her hands find them, then switched their cups so the man was drinking from hers. She smiled innocently, waiting. Within moments the man was slurring his speech and nearly falling out of his chair. "Baka," Taka giggled leaning over and plucking his wallet from his back pocket. She filched the money and tugged on the girl's arm. "I need to think of a name for you."

As soon as they were out of the restaurant and into the alley she changed into her dog form and led the girl to another alley where it was warmer and cleaner. The child curled up on her for a while, sleeping. _Next stop America…_she told herself proudly. _I'll make sure you go to the best school. Did I steal enough money?_

**Please Review**

**Sessrinlover: **_It's not that you can't review. I want you to keep reviewing, it's just kind of rude to say that someone should write their stories a completely different way, especially if that is what you really want, there are literally thousands of stories on here like that you can read. If you like my stories great, or you want to comment on characters, or the fact that I messed up the grammar in my last drabble badly...that's fine. But it doesn't make sense to read something and then tell someone to write the characters and plotline differently because that is how everyone else writes it._

_Look I could be writing something that could get published and I could money for. I take time away from my family and school (okay this is fun for me I would do it regardless) and put myself out there and share it...so you don't have to be kind, just comment on what is written...(Merry X-mas to you too...it's Channukah for me but who's counting)_

**Guest #2:** _You need to nickname yourself. I hereby nickname you Awesomeguest. He didn't recognize his scent completely because of the different smells in the future and his scent changed enough that he didn't recognize himself. Future Sess tells Rin, "I'm going to be so angry with you." He remembered that he bugged out when she came back smelling like him and not all at the same time._

**Guest #1:** _ I nickname you coolguest. Anyway your review is not showing up, but it came up in my email! Argh I'm sorry. Some of my other writer-friends on here are noticing that reviews aren't showing up. I think you said ass handed to him, or something like that. Tsukimaru is going to get it, once his father finds out._


	8. Sesshomaru-Past II

**I am happy for all of the reviews I've gotten on this story. Okay so maybe Monday will be the update day and then a second day following that at some point. I haven't decided which day. For more updates please follow me on twitter. The link is in my profile, or you can just put in twitterdotcomforwardslashelohiniar**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

"A month?" She questions him upset that he will be gone for so long. "Why can't I come?"

He wraps her in his own outer layer while he holds her against his chest. "It's too dangerous." She is warm and damp against him with the most intoxicating soft skin he loves stroking with his claws. He is out of breath. He enjoys how she folds into his body like a piece of a puzzle. She wraps a slender arm over his chest. The only hitch in his plan to make her stay quiet while he built her up, let her fall and built her up again was that it took longer than usual. She held out until his tongue was sore, and his fingers felt like they were calloused.

"Since when has your mother's home ever been dangerous for me?" Her face wrinkles in confusion and the slightest tang of hurt seeps into their bond.

He can't tell her that he has to avert another disaster because he took a human lover. The hurt in her eyes and worry is enough for him. "Trust me," is all he manages to get out. "You will return home with Hisato and Katsumoto. I will return in a month, perhaps sooner. If you need me, you know how to send for me."

"Will you see her?" Her eyes cast over in a haze. Worry permeates their bond.

Those words. After years, she still questions his loyalty. Afterall why shouldn't she? He is bound to two now and one of them he has relegated to the sidelines asking for patience while he enjoys his days with the one that he truly loves. "I will not," it's a lie. He has already seen her and if Kensaku has his way, it will happen again and again until he yields to his instincts. It would be so much easier to just have her assassinated but she was innocent in their affair, a tool of manipulation by Touma. He called her, "sweet one," because at her core she was innocent and young, still sweet like the first fruits of spring. She will never be his heart, but he is fond of her none the less.

She doesn't answer, she only cries and shakes against him. They have had nothing but weeks together for several years. He finds the action odd. "What is it?" He strokes the shoulder bare shoulder against his chest.

"We were supposed to have more time together."

There are no words to answer that. "I love you," he nudges her neck with his nose. "I will always love you."

"I know," she wipes her eyes. "I hate being without you," she hugs him.

"I am empty without you," he whispers in her ear as he comforts his lover. They had long ago forgiven each other for the events that had driven them apart. She even asks about Tsukimaru from time to time. He had just learned to crawl the last Sesshomaru visited his son. He had fangs and two bottom incisors. He wasn't nearly as mischievous as Yuki was at this size, age is irrelevant. He won't stop looking like a baby until he is twenty years old. Regardless of his conception, his love for Tsukimaru remains.

"You hurt my chin," she rubs the area where his fingerprints remain. "Why do you have to be so rough? Angry is one thing, rough is another."

Her skin is bruised where he manhandled her face, proof that once again she is human and can't match his demon tendencies. He once saw his father haul his mother into a room by her arm, she never complained of pain. _Humanity. _

He exhales heavily moving her hand. He sets his lips against the bruised skin manipulating their bond, removing her pain and healing her bruise. "I'm sorry. Who was he?" He doesn't like that someone had their hands on her, even more he finds it strange that the person smells so similar to himself and not, all at once. She smells like pastries, fried food and other more sulfuric smells he cannot name.

"No one."

She is lying and he can't fathom why. He pulls her tighter to him, knowing that he will have to leave soon. "So this is how we will leave things between us?" He picks stray leaves from her hair. She would rather wear it up, but he likes when it is down. So she wears her hair down to make him happy and ties it up while he is gone. Life has been simpler. He travels to check his borders while she is cycling. It makes it easier because he has no fondness for human blood or the way it smells when it exits her body. There is a love and comfort he experiences with her. He knows it will not happen with any other.

"You're lying too," she folds her knees to her chin. "Why can't you tell me what's happening there? Is it her again?"

He only shakes his head as moves closer to her kissing her neck. The forest is a quiet solace to the darkness surrounding them. The wind whistles past them blowing their hair in the wind. She leans her head against his shoulder, kissing his mouth. "I love you," she whispers to him.

"And I you," he answers as he always does. Their tongues meet, their lips heat each other and for a while he forgets what is awaiting him at his mother's castle.

"Oi!" Inuyasha calls him as he exits the trees with Rin. She is still dressed in his outer layer and is doing her best to look like she wasn't just ravished but her hair is frizzy and unkempt, his lips left marks on her shoulders and the dress she was wearing before is missing. There wasn't enough of it left after he shred it for her to put it back on. And now she smells of him and their sex, the way she should.

Inuyasha has Tetsusaiga drawn, the blade shines black.

Sesshomaru gives Rin a push out of the way not a moment too soon. Meido blades come slashing into the forest floor. This area is already damaged from years of battle. It's as if the trees gave up growing again. Sesshomaru removes Bakusaiga and sends voltaic energy at his brother that is blocked with the sheathe. They both smirk and throw their katanas aside. Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga block attacks from demonic energy, it doesn't mean they can't tear each other apart with their claws. Inuyasha attacks first aiming for the throat.

"Impetuous," Sesshomaru slaps the wrist out of the way and trips his brother.

The hanyou lands with a thud, slamming his chin into the dirt. He spins around and trips Sesshomaru, then leaps on top of him. Their hands grapple for necks to crush. Somehow Inuyasha has gained the upper hand while they roll like two twisted logs in the dirt. "You're distracted." The hanyou lands on top of Sesshomaru, pinning his legs with his own.

He could transform and end this, but why waste so much energy on a half-breed? Instead he releases dokkasu from his claws burning Inuyasha's shoulders. "Does it hurt?" He scoffs.

If he is in pain Sesshomaru can't tell. The skin on Inuyasha's neck bubbles.

"Stop it you two!" The Miko yells at him from the bushes. Long ago she removed the beads from Inuyasha's neck. She can't make his face hit the floor like she used to which means she can't break up the fight.

Both their hands tighten on the windpipes, causing the other to choke slightly. He won't yield. He pushes Inuyasha backward, the momentum causes his brother to stumble then fall. He has won again. It's enough for now.

"Next time I'll win," Inuyasha laughs.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome calls him, her face is lined with worry. The years have not been as kind to the Miko as they have to Rin. The seven years difference between them is entirely too noticeable. Her hair has greyed around the sides, her face has lines. Her hands are calloused from years of living in the Edo era. She is out of breath by the time she makes it to the two of them, "it won't open. No matter what we do. It won't open!"

Sesshomaru hears her worry and joins the gathering crowd by the well. The children are playing together, Tatsuo his great-nephew, Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru, while Katsumoto sits under a tree observing. Hisato is next to the well, with Sota and Taisho. "What about Mayumi and Izayoi?" Sota asks worried.

"I don't know. It's never been this bad before. It's like it's rejecting my power," the Miko places hands on the splintered wood.

Taisho joins her. The swirl of power makes the hair on his arms raise. It's enough to subdue him and that makes him rigid. There is something comforting about knowing that there are none that can challenge him. But then he sees it, the power swirls then backlashes against them, throwing the mother and the son to the ground. They land with harsh thuds knocking over a few children in the process. Taiyomaru starts crying, because his cousin's elbow connected with the child's eye. Sesshomaru stands next to his youngest son and rubs the skin around the eye to soothe him.

Kagome is hysterical. She drags him into the trees and says, "I can't get it open. I can't. You saw…it threw me backwards. I…Sesshomaru promise me please," she is desperate. It doesn't flatter her. "Promise me you'll take care of them?"

His heart flatlines. He is almost sure he knows what she is asking, but he has been told over and over, his kind no longer exist in her future, "what are you asking me?"

"If I can't get it open and it stays shut this time like it did last time, please take care of Mayumi and Izayoi?" Her eyes say more than her mouth does. They are a lighter brown than Rin's, but tinted with something he cannot name. He's never been good with emotions.

"Are you saying I'm alive in this distant future of yours?" He loves his nieces as much as his nephews although he has barely seen them in the last few years.

"I can't say," she's lying again but he can accept that.

"If I am alive in this future, you can trust that I will care for them. The well will open again Miko," he attempts to reassure her but there is a part of him that feels concern. Something dark is brewing and he doesn't know what it is or why it is giving him pause. First his mother with the ridiculous complaint from Kensaku now the Well.

"My home is here in this village. My family protected the shrine that was built here. You just have to remember where Goshinboku is and you'll find my home," she suddenly hugs him.

He holds his hand up avoiding touching her. He is already in hot water for intimate contact with another female years before. The last thing he needs is for that to happen with this one. "Release me," the words come more firmly than he intends as he pushes Kagome away from him. He leaves her wilting alone in the grass. "Hisato," he calls to the demon that has guarded Rin for the last thirteen years. He comes out of his hiding place, "take Rin and the children home, tonight." He can't risk an attack here, there would be too many casualties and they have already failed in the past against his own kind.

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama," he is ever the faithful servant.

He finds his children, hugging them goodbye. It's never easy to explain long absences. He can't tell them the meeting involves their half-brother they only see when he is not home. Rin thinks he doesn't know, but he sensed on more than one occasion Natsuki's bond moving when he left their home. Taiyomaru loves his brother unlike the disdain that Yuki and Harutoga hold for him. Tsukimaru is another innocent pawn that was played in Touma's grand scheme to the tear them apart. There is peace knowing that Rin and Natsuki have found a way to get along, even if it is behind his back.

Yuki takes the news the hardest. She screams and cries, frustrated that he has to leave. "You're supposed to be home for three weeks! You've been home for two days!" She's a teenager in the body of a child.

"A month is so long," Harutoga kicks a smooth stone with his toes. They look the same age now. He stands as tall as his sister.

There are no words. He won't apologize, he returns to protect them from the fallout. He can't explain, they wouldn't understand. Taiyomaru pulls him down by the shoulder and whispers in his ear, "say hello to Tsuki for me," he kisses his father's cheek. Sesshomaru tickles the little boy, eliciting high pitched giggles that that nearly hurt his ears.

Rin waits by the trees wiping her eyes. He still feels a hint of frustration and jealousy that someone else managed to put their lips on her. She is his, precious, an unshared commodity. He stalks across the moistened ground and holds her hand. The other hands glides across her jaw pulling her mouth to his, "my heart," he whispers the epitaph that describes who she is to him. The source of all he is. He tastes tears in her mouth, fingers tremble along his cheeks.

"Come home to me," she says quietly.

"I always do," he reminds her.

"What if you didn't one day?" She's twenty nine seasons now. So different than the child he left in this village. "I've seen you at your worse Sesshomaru. My skin is crawling. Something's wrong. The well stopped working, our nieces are trapped."

"They will be fine. It did this once before and they are with family," he tries to reassure her. "I'll be home as quickly as I can."

She nods, lips compressed and forehead wrinkled with worry.

One more kiss is all he can spare. His mother said three days. Kensaku couldn't wait three seconds after he left her home. Time is of the essence. He wonders if he will have to sleep with Natsuki again in order to save the lives of his lover and children. Sometimes the greatest prizes are worth the highest price, but for once he wonders if the cost is too high.

**EEEK...why did the Well stop working? Why is Kensaku suddenly so unhappy with his relationship or lack thereof with Natsuki? Leave a review with your guesses. Oh gosh...is he going to have to sleep with Natsuki to keep Kensaku from sieging his home?**

**Review!**

**Tay: **Don't worry, I'm over the flame throwers. I have really tried to hold back from saying it too much, but there are literally about 6,000 stories on this site that are Rin/Sess. Only 2,000 are finished. On top of that...everyone writes the exact same thing in regards to Rin and Sesshomaru and most of it now is written in a way that he goes to her because she is his mate, meaning they have nothing in common, no shared life, no shared goals, just an inner talking demon...they have pureblooded children and she becomes a demon and all of that takes away in my opinion from the beauty of the characters and the conflict you can use to propel a storyline. It literally makes zero sense to me. So people can keep up their flames...I don't really care. There are 6,000 other stories they can read with the plots they want. Thank you again for your review! I am so glad my stories keep you out of trouble and don't worry I will hopefully finish this one. I've been slowed down due to life and school.

**Coolguest: **I replied in reviews to you. But no reincarnated Rin is not crazy. She simply can't talk and if you notice there is a part where she sniffed Taka and freaked because she didn't know who she was or whether or not she was safe

**Guest: **I'm going to refrain from asking why someone who is deaf and blind has no value and therefore would not present competition. She still has Rin's soul and that alone would be intoxicating to Sesshomaru.

**Guesswho: **I know Taka has no idea what she is doing. Like it would have been faster for her to get a flight from Tokyo to LA, but you'll see instead she is going to go London to New York...and then realize she is on the wrong side of the US, with no ID for herself or Rin's reincarnation LOL...your grandfather sounds funny.I love that I keep you guessing. It's part of the fun, thinking about what people would want to see, what would be expected and then pulling a rabbit out of my hat. Just keep reading!

**Gogo: **Thank you! I love it too :)


	9. Kagome-Past II

**Ahh all my reviewers you make me soooo happy! Keep reviewing. Here is your second chapter for the week. I'm like pages and pages ahead of this so I can't wait to post more.**

**Beware of Lemons**

**Kagome-past**

Her heart is heavy as she packs a bag of food for Rin and the children to take back on their trip home. Riding on Aun, it will take most of the evening. She tried to get them to stay but this time it was their guard who shook his head vehemently and said they had to leave. There were glances passed between Rin and Hisato and several angry words before Rin finally conceded. "Is something going on?" Her hands shake thinking of her children that are on the other side of the well. She knows he is there, but did he take them? Will they be happy? Why isn't the Well opening?

"I think there might be trouble," Rin answers holding Yuki on her lap. For a moment jealousy flashes through the Miko. She has the same ears as Izayoi and it's not fair that her sister in-law to hold her daughter while her own precious ones are trapped on the other side.

Taisho runs in with a smile on his face, "there's a peddler coming. Oka, can we go buy some treats? They have the sweet balls of rice that To-san likes."

Mechanically she hands him money and follows the flow of villagers to the peddler. He is laden with a large wagon with two handles sticking from the front. Children jump around him asking for sweet rice in different colors. In the past Shippo would join the children, but he isn't in the village. He is off training again and won't be back for days.

"Can we go too?" Yuki asks her mother.

"I have for us," Rin picks up the pastry bag she brought back with her from the future. She takes out the treats and hands them to her children then offers them to Hisato and Katsumoto. The two guards sniff the chocolate wafting off the pastries and decide to split one when they've returned. Chocolate is an insidious poison to dog-demons, neither one of them can resist. She knows that by evening her children will be complaining of upset stomachs, but a little chocolate never killed anyone.

Rin's children gather around her licking their fingers as Kagome leaves the hut. Inuyasha is already there with Taisho. Sota hasn't left the well. Kagome walks up behind her son enjoying the early evening air, the grey of the clouds and how it makes the yellow-green reeds of grass that much brighter. "Good evening," she says to the peddler.

"Good evening," it's a simple alto that flows from his lips. "Would you like sweet rice? I also have other housewares," he points to his load. There are pans for cooking, kettles, chopsticks and even fine combs with jewels.

"Will you be here long?" Inuyasha wonders. He loves sweet-rice and has already eaten three.

Kagome senses something she isn't sure, "what's your name?"

"Yashida," he bows politely, the straw hat covers his face as he does.

Miroku, Sango and a gaggle of their children are by the cart now. They've finally ceased having children. Sango begged for something after the tenth child. Kagome gifted her with condoms to stop the flow of children. Their eldest are married, they are grand-parents like she is. Sango is a year older than Kagome and has already aged more. It makes the Miko sick to know that because of the medicine in her time, she will likely live longer than her friends. She wonders if her life will be extended the way Rin's was because Inuyasha is already nearing three-hundred years. She continues watching as the peddler doles out balls of rice to the waiting children and to her son. She buys extra for Tatsuo.

"Is it possible you spent time in a temple?" Miroku asks the peddler as he counts out the coins from his six younger children purchases. He has made more than a name for himself in the last eighteen years as a slayer and a Monk.

"When I was younger, my village was destroyed by demons," Yashida says simply. "After that I was sent to a temple in the Eastern Provinces. I stayed for some time but I was never very good at calling on my spiritual power."

The Miko exhales, knowing that is what she sensed.

"Strange," he passes a rice ball to Taisho, "I sense both yoki and reiki in you."

"I'm a hybrid," her son says proudly. "This is my father," he points to Inuyasha.

"A hanyou? Miko you keep interesting company," his eyes are black and there is something about the way he says it that gives Kagome pause.

"Have we met before?" Strange memories float through her mind like a mirage. So much time was spent travelling while chasing Naraku, she no longer recalls who she met and where. They made allies and enemies along the way, but his face seems familiar.

"I've never been through this village before," he says quietly. "Enjoy the rice balls."

She bows turning back to the well. Sota sits quietly against it with Sayako at his side. Tatsuo has fallen asleep against his father. She touches the Well, even that makes her skin prickle. "I don't understand."

"They're with your mother," Inuyasha says. "They'll be okay."

"Is that really how you feel?" She is furious with him for being so calm.

"Is it wrong?" So much time together and he still doesn't know how to respond.

"I'm worried Ka-san," Sota says staring down at the well. "If we can't get through, what about them?"

"They'll be okay," she says more to herself. _Please take care of them. _"Do you want to take a rice-ball for when he wakes up?"

Sayako shakes her head, "sugar doesn't sit well with him. Too much of my blood," she smiles proudly.

Kagome bends down to stare at her grandchild. He has a barely visible crescent moon from his father, claws and dark skin. He resembles his mother more than his father. She isn't sure how much of what he is. A quarter demon father with a pure blooded mother, with some human thrown in there. She touches his forehead, "he's beautiful. I'm so happy you two came."

As they walk back to the hut Inuyasha holds her hand, Rin has already left. "They were in a hurry. Did they say why?"

"His royal highness demanded they return to the safety of the barrier. I don't know why," Kagome sits down by the fading fire. Taisho sits in the corner, his face crestfallen. "We'll figure it out." She tells him.

"Maybe the Well is punishing us," her son says.

"For what?" She asks him.

"Breaking the rules…I couldn't go back to Ojisama's, not yet. Once I know it won't open, really won't open. We have to keep trying. My sisters…" He ceases speaking choosing to lay down and read instead.

"Inuyasha," she whispers as she lays down next to him on their shared mat. Their house is so quiet now without their children clamoring all over them. The tears finally come in earnest for the children she hopes aren't lost. "What do we do? If it's shut?"

"I don't know," he says quietly stroking her hair. He kisses her lips then turns to his son, "go read somewhere else."

"You're as bad as O-ji-sama and Obasan. They can't keep their hands off each other," he rolls his eyes as he stands and exits their hut.

Inuyasha folds himself around Kagome wiping her tears as he removes her layers. He unties the lavender obi he gave her as a thirty eighth birthday present. He has never been able to offer her the riches that his brother gives his lover, but their home has always been filled with love. She gasps at his touch. His hand slides down her shoulder, under the material of her sea green kimono. The brush of his fingers against the raw skin sends shivers down her spine. She leans onto the bamboo mat of their hut, her head resting on a pillow as she opens for him. He removes his own clothes and lays on top of her stomach. His mouth embraces her, together they breathe fire.

Her nails dig into the skin of his back as his hands explore. They begin with her breasts, the pointed buds hardening as he circles them with one finger. He laces them with his lips, making her hiss in pleasure. Twenty years together and he knows her so well. Tonight isn't about experimenting, it's about comfort. He nestles himself in between her legs finding her warmth. "Inuyasha," she sighs as he enters. Her legs wrap around his waist as he kisses down her sensitive stomach.

The valley is no longer what it once was. She still has a single line down the center of her stomach and on the sides, but age is catching up to her. His removes himself from inside of her as his hands run down the length of her sides. His tongue traces her navel, and then a single finger presses where she is most sensitive, "Kami," she gasps pulling his face back up to hers. Their lips meet again and in between battles of their tongues she begins moaning as her fire builds.

"They'll be okay," he tells her confidently as he slides inside of her again. "Oh Kagome…I love you," he strains as her hips rise, sheathing him deeper.

She can feel the familiar burn, the rise of her orgasm as it slices through her. The wider she parts, the easier he can thrust against the spot that gives her the most pleasure. She is out of breath within minutes of his entrance. Her legs wrap around his hips, she holds onto his shoulders. She feels herself flexing below, increasing her pleasure. She moans against his lips.

His hands find her breasts then she feels herself come alive. She loses her senses as the last thrust has her begging for more, and shrieking in pleasure. They part sweat soaked and silent as he pulls a blanket over them. There's nothing left to do but hope that one day she will see her daughters again.

**Please Review!**

**Five guesses to who Yashida is?**

**Guest#1: **You are officially renamed, Superguest so I can keep track of you. That story sounds awesomely depressive. I'm going to read it :). But I'm not sure that is going to happen in this story. You know how unpredictable I am.

**Ivriel: **You're welcome for another chapter! I'm definitely going to check those stories out. They sound like I would like them.

**Tay: **Did you read my one-shot called the Big Spoof? In the anime, that voice over is him thinking. He was an internal creature, who spent a lot of time thinking, not talking unless he was taunting someone, so yes it would be very uncharacteristic for him to have a voice inside controlling him. I get it, another fandom norm, but it's not where I wanted things to go.

**Guest#2: **Assuming you aren't coolguest/awesomeguest/superguest you are hereby dubbed fabulousguest! Don't fight it. That's your name now! Exactly he had no love interest which I think is why people like writing one for him. At the end of the series it was obvious he held some kind of warm feeling for Kagura, that he definitely loved Rin in what way was never explained. Like was it father/daughter? Protecter? Who knows. For the Sess/kag lovers he definitely held some kind of esteem/regard for her by the end of the series because of her power which is why I capitalize on making them friends in my story. And he had buried the anger he had at his brother, even gifting him Meido in the most Sesshomaru way possible then saving him from Naraku. He's not a simple character that would let everything go, including his hatred of human/demon relationships even for Rin. That's why my stories are written they are. In the anime there was never a human/demon relationship that ended well and he's lived longer than most demon parents of a hanyou so far. He's lived to see them grow...he is an emotionally distant character which is what makes writing him as a lover sooo hard. LIke he is mushy in some places but only when they are alone. Like you never see him become emotional around others and that emotional constipation you mentioned is going to be a major plot device in this story.


	10. Interlude III-Before

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I just finished finals in one class. I have two weeks left in my next class, then three weeks off. I plan to write like crazy during that time.**

**Interlude III**

**Before**

Taka didn't filch enough money that day. He had around five hundred pounds in his back pocket. She learned quickly it wasn't enough to buy a ticket anywhere and then there was the issue that she had no ID. The child had no ID and for the week she had been with the girl, she still hadn't come up with a name for her. She spent most of her time while the child was awake in her dog form. She booked them a hotel in Bristol while she thought about what to do. She picked up the remote and started playing with the TV. "Kami, Chichiue and Haha-ue didn't even let me watch MTV." She found a movie that looked interesting then sat on the bed while the child roamed around the room. Whenever she got close to Taka, the woman reached out with her mokomoko. It was exhausting staying in dog form for long periods of time but it seemed the only way to calm the girl.

The other lesson that the young demoness learned is that she was a beauty. She had purchased several pairs of low rise jeans and shirts that revealed her shoulders and chest. She was thin, willowy with curves and a slender neck that was striped. When she roamed in her human form, she made no attempt to hide her claws or facial stripes and men seemed very much interested in her. She crossed her legs and thought to herself, "I need an ID and a passport and you need a name."

The girl was touching the TV, feeling the curves and nearly knocked it over.

"No," Taka pushed the TV back and used her mokomoko to move the girl's hand, "don't do that. Why am I talking to you?!" She stamped her foot. To her surprise the girl stamped her foot back. Taka stamped twice, the girl stamped twice in return. A steady smile spread across Taka's face. "So you can learn. Maybe your family just didn't know any better."

She flipped through the channels again and found another movie, "what the hell is this?" As the screen played she heard a man talking to his daughter. She spoke to animals, charming them. The little girl's name was Nina. "Nina," Taka bounced onto the bed, "I like that. Now you need a last name," she picked up the telephone book and flipped through the pages. "Chichiue fashioned a last name after his human lover, you. But I'm not going to name you Rin, or make your last name Rinata. It's bad enough Haha-ue lives in her shadow. I want you to be your own person," she folded over her knees and rubbed her forehead. "Oooh, Hawthorne. I like that. You're Nina Hawthorne. Not that you understand what I am saying."

The child climbed onto the bed and curled against Taka's mokomoko. Her eyes quickly closed, her breaths became even. Taka touched the marks around her eyes. For a while she stared at the phone thinking to call her father or brother. _Chichiue is going to be so angry. What am I supposed to do with you? _

The biggest thought plaguing her mind was what she was going to do after she was expected to return home. There was something helpless about the child and she didn't feel right just dumping her somewhere and then leaving to return to the castle in the sky and if she was honest with herself, she was having fun for the first time in a few centuries. There was something supremely lame about the fact her parents never allowed her to leave and that her mother was living in the past. They had one functioning phone in the castle for emergencies only. Chichiue kept a computer hidden, because Natsuki melted the first seven he brought back. Taka exhaled heavily stroking the girl's hair. _I'm not going back, _she thought quietly, _I'm going to stay with her. It's the right thing to do. Nina Hawthorne, _she grinned staring at the sleeping child.

Several days later she led the child through a shipyard until she found a Queen Mary that was bound for the US. She smuggled herself in her dog form and the child into the cargo hold. At night Taka snuck into the kitchen and got food for herself and Nina. The trip was long and exhausting. Nina spent the entire time puking while Taka cleaned up after her. It was the longest eleven days of Taka's life. Considering she was over three hundred and fifty years old that was saying something.

When they landed in New York, Taka figured out that she needed to exchange her money and that she landed on the wrong side of the United States. And without a passport or any form of ID, she couldn't get on public transportation. She had already been gone from home for three weeks. Taka transformed in a cold alleyway leading Nina by her mokomoko. She needed to find a phone. She wasn't going to get anywhere if at least she didn't have an ID. They went to the library where Taka made the girl sit next to her. Nina closed her blind eyes and swirled around in a chair.

Libraries, her father loved them. He spent centuries building a giant library in their home in the sky. She spent her time their often studying under him. She knew a fair bit about medicine. She called up a page on how to obtain an ID which was pointless. She was born three hundred and fifty years ago, she didn't have a birth certificate. She didn't have a social security card. She smacked her head against the computer screen frustrated. "I don't have a social security card for you either," she pat the girl on her head.

The girl bat at her hand.

"Nina…we need to find a phone." She wrapped her tail around Nina's small waist and dragged her through the library. She picked up the phone and tried dialing Tsukimaru's cellphone number. She was met with a dial-tone that said she couldn't make international phone calls. So she walked up to one of the library workers, her mokomoko still invisible, "I need call Japan." She would have to spend more time working on her English.

"Sure," the gentleman looked young. He has thick glasses and spikey hair with a morning goatee. "You just need a phone card."

"Eh phone card? Nina," she warned the girl tugging her back to her.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing," Taka shot back annoyed. "You never see blind girl?" Nina paced back and forth reaching out into the air then back to her waist trying to get the mokomoko off her.

"Sorry," he said tapping his fingers on the counter.

"Where this phone card?"

"There are a few shops down the street. What's with the marks on your face?"

Taka didn't answer. She left the library and turned down the street. She found a phone card vendor in one of the shops nearby. She purchased a card then asked for a phone. They had one in the back of the shop. Lifting the receiver she punched the numbers in annoyed and then called Tsukimaru. It rang several times but went to his voicemail. "Tsuki, it's Taka. I'm going to call back in a few minutes, please answer."

She paced while waiting. She tapped her fingers on the wall deep in thought. She needed an ID, badly. She raised the phone and called again. This time he answered, "Taka where are you? Chichiue and Haha-ue are beside themselves!"

"America," she said quietly into the phone.

"You need to come home."

"No, I'm not leaving Tsuki. I can't believe you wouldn't let me leave her in the orphanage! You know Chichiue would have made sure her health was cared for!"

"Taka just leave her somewhere and come home!" Tsukimaru bellowed into the phone.

"You're hurting my ears," she hissed rubbing the inside of her ear. "I'm not coming back. Humans live for what seventy or eight years? I'll come back after she dies."

"What if you go into heat?"

"I'll have sex with a human!"

"If you get pregnant?"

"Then I'll have a baby and take care of it! Tsukimaru shut up! This is all your fault anyway. You're the one that made me leave the castle. I don't want to go back. How do I get an ID. I need an ID."

"Taka you are so naïve-"

"Tsuki…just tell me how to get an ID. I'm running out of money," Taka puffed her hair out of her face. "Nina stay," she nudged the girl's stomach reminding her to stay put.

"You named her Nina?"

"Shut up! The ID Tsuki. I don't have many minutes on this thing. I need to be able to get a phone and the internet, maybe a computer and some new clothes and a job."

"Taka I can send you money."

"No," she refused him. "Did you get an ID?"

"Chichiue got one for me. He had contacts."

"Okay so find me a contact. I just need a social security card or something."

"Let me look hang on," there was clacking on the other end of the phone.

She bit her lip while she waited.

"Which city are you in?"

"New York."

"Okay, there is a chipmunk demon that lives in Manhattan, in Central Park. His name is David. With enough money he can get you an ID. How much do you have?"

"$300.00, how much do I need? Nina," she said again pushing the girl back to the wall.

"You shouldn't have named her."

"And you shouldn't have made me leave. They're really upset?"

"Haha-ue hasn't left her room. She won't stop crying," he almost sounded remorseful. "Chichiue put a missing persons alert on his social media pages. You need to be careful. He has contacts all over the world, you know that."

"So then I'll alter my appearance enough to make sure no one will recognize me," she shook her hair out making sure no one was watching as it turned black. Her skin changed to a darker color.

"You need a thousand dollars," Tsukimaru told her. "Go to a western union I'll wire you money."

"Go to hell," she hung the phone up and left the store. She tugged her ward along with her. "Well Nina, let's go find some idiot who thinks I'm hot to rob again."

**Please Review!**

**Coolguest: **Yeah...uh-oh...I wonder what's going to happen.


	11. Mayumi-Present I

**Thank you for all the reviews! As always they brighten my day. If anyone forgot or hasn't read my other stories. This is from Mayumi's perspective. Mayumi is Inuyasha and Kagome's youngest daughter. I messed up the timeline a bit. She should be about 14 if I thought of it correctly. **

**Mayumi-present**

She crouches down behind one of the walls of the stairwell in the east wing of her school. It's a dingy white with pathetic gold bricks mixed between. Nothing like the lavish marble of the castle she lives in. The east wing is where all the science classes are. She's taking Chemistry, a science she has found quite useful in yielding explosions. At night Ojisama helps her with her school work. He understands the elements better than she does. But she has figured a few things out and knows which ones she needs to use for her project. The only problem is she filched them from a teacher with balding hair and a bad temper. "Higurashi-chan!" He bellows through snake-like lips as he searches the hallways for her.

She keeps her breathing even, the way her Uncle taught her. Escaping this enemy will be easier than the demons in Edo. She lifts her left hand in the air sending white blades flying near her Sensei's nose. He screeches, ducking out of the way. She takes the distraction as her cue to book it. She flies down the stairs into the girls bathroom and pulls out her prizes. She takes out a bowl and mixes the chemicals together until they form a paste. She doesn't have the heightened smell that Sota and Izayoi do, but she knows the mixture is perfect when it just begins to stick. It's flammable and will do exactly what she wants it to. She throws it into two toilets, lights a match and tosses it in, then flushes the toilets. She bolts for the door just as she hears the boom and the explosion of pipes. Water slushes down the hallways with other foul things she laughs at as she runs.

Water rushes up the hallways. Her prize, a job well done, until she slips and loses her footing. She slams face first into a broad chest and lands on her back in a puddle. She raises her brown eyes to stare into the face of the headmaster. "It wasn't me," it comes out defensively and automatically.

"This time we are calling your Uncle," the headmaster says as he lifts her off the ground. His grip hurts her arm. It's not fair. They could have said he was their father or cousin, but no he's her Uncle and she must call him Ojisama or face his wrath.

It takes only a minute for her to release smaller blades from her fingers into the hand that holds her.

The headmaster curses catching her again by the scruff of the neck. He glances down at his bleeding hand.

"Where's the weapon?"

"What weapon?" Mayumi flashes back still trying to get free. She grins like the guilty school girl she is.

"My hand is bleeding," the headmaster, whose nose looks pinched and eyes are bulbous from his bifocals states.

"It wasn't me," this time she's smiling.

"Come to the office now. If you do not comply Higurashi, you will be expelled."

"That's not my name," she whispers in defense as she is escorted to the office. Higurashi is the name she was forced to take when her Uncle obtained papers for her. It was her mother's name, but she feels like somehow her mother has betrayed her by not coming to get them yet. In the Edo Era, there were no last names. The children never obtained birth certificates despite their frequent visits to this world and for six months she has been stuck here. She was happy before when her mother and father could come and go freely. But she knows the truth and wonders what the point is any longer? She wants to hate her mother for abandoning her, for giving up, for every moment she doesn't spends on the other side of the well.

She is sits in the chairs while the headmaster picks up the phone and dials her Uncle's number. She knows she is in trouble. Ojisama is going to be angry and for some odd reason that makes her happy.

**Please leave reviews! What do you think future-Sess is going to do when he finds out what his niece did? Is Mayumi acting out because she misses her parents? Keep reading :)**

**Guest #1: **Ya'll people making me come up with nicknames to keep you straight! I dub thee supercoolguestsauce...yes Taka is attempting to use her head. She hasn't been let out of the castle in 350 years, so it's the first time she has had to think for herself and make her own decisions.

**Guest #2: **I dub thee Sirguestsauce LOL...anyway. I haven't gotten that far yet in this story to when she is older but I am tempted to write it. The Interludes are going to time out before the story is over and then we'll see what happens. In InuxKag drabbles she's still horrendously rude to Taka. I don't have much hope of Yuki getting better social skills yet.

**Coolguest: **You just want me to spoil it for you don't you? LOL keep reading and you'll find out what happens.

**Guesswho: **In general Taka is a sweet girl. She's just clueless and naive and knows nothing about life because she was stuck in the castle for so long. I know, 99% of the time, Sess's kids are the epitome of well behaved but then I wonder...with him as a father, how would that work? And why would Taka go back once she's tasted freedom? Unless she goes into heat...or gets sick...sheesh I wonder what will happen.


	12. Sesshomaru-Present II

**AHHH I've been waiting to post this chapter. Please have a box of tissues handy! I have one week of school left before I have 3 weeks off then this story and trafficked will hopefully get some much needed love. **

**Sesshomaru-Present**

He still hasn't managed to start reading the scroll. His fingers hold it as if paralyzed. He hopes that it holds the final key to finding the cure to his tremors. He is certain if he knew how the disease was created, he could reverse the effects it has on his body. When Katsumoto took to his bed, he had to convince the inu-yokai not to kill himself, _give me time. I will find the answer. _Sesshomaru knows what will happen if he dies.

Knowing won't change the effects it has had on his people. Despite his greatest efforts, his species is limited and it is unlikely they will recover in numbers. In a matter of centuries they will be extinct, nothing more than myths and legends.

If only Natsuki would go into heat. He has no explanation for the lack of children they have produced. It's been three and a half centuries since her last period of fertility came. The last time she was in heat was when Rin died. Rin…the mere thought of her name leaves him speechless. He yearns to feel a love like he did from her, to know warmth and completion again. She knew the monster he was inside and loved him despite it.

_She had been getting weaker. The extent of her age was finally catching up to her. She went from gracing the ground with her feet, running circles to keep up with their first grandchild to lying in bed, a husk of what she once was. It was already painful beyond anything he had experienced to keep his distance from Natsuki. Half-a-century before she sent him a letter stating as much. So much was he drawn to her that he no longer visited Tsukimaru in the castle to avoid their inevitable meeting. Aun brought the child to him every other week. He made a promise to Rin. That was all that mattered._

_He and Rin had been unable to make love in twenty years. His body was hungry. Hers was old. He looked like a human twenty-five year old, her age was more than noticeable. Her hair was whiter than his and carried a glow that often hurt his eyes. Her skin was slack and speckled with signs of age. Her teeth were loose. He was forced to spoon-feed her meals. She could only tolerate broths and vegetable soups. There was only so much to be done with his yoki to ease her aches and pain. Her body had finally begun rejecting their bond. The scar on his chest had faded and was barely noticeable. Death was inevitable._

_Natsuki screamed for him, begged him to return. She went so far as sending a letter with Tsukimaru telling him she had been in heat for some-time and needed him. He promised. Rin's time was coming. Natsuki threatened to find someone else to satisfy her needs. He set a guard on her door and had her meals delivered through a rectangular cut opening. Both the outer and inner entrances had been locked for weeks. He promised._

_Rin called him into her room. "I think…" her breaths were staggered, "I'm leaving soon, my love."_

_"My heart," he lay down next to her gathering the remains of her body. And it ached, the thing that beat life into his chest. "Do not torment me so. You say it every morning."_

_"It's hard to stay," a wiry frame curled into his body. Her limbs were too weak to stroke the markings on his face. "Help me?" She begged in frailty. The tips of her fingers rose in pain as she attempted to caress the face of her love._

_He clasped his fingers between hers, bringing them to his face. He hissed at how sensitive his skin was to her touch despite their lack of intimacy. Immediately it rose again, the insatiable call of Natsuki. He groaned rubbing his heart. It was as if the two bonds were at war with each other, laying claim to him._

_"She's calling you," her voice was not the lark-like song it had been in the past. Rather it was vibrato and had fallen to the sound of the calling wind._

_"It can wait," the words were excruciating for him. He knew, his yoki was leaving her body. He could no longer sustain her the way he had in the past. He brushed her finger tips over his stripes then helped her trace the dark crescent moon of his forehead._

_"Did you ever think you would love a human?" She asked that of him often. Somehow concerned in her later years when she was no longer able to satisfy his sensual desires that it had stolen her worth to him._

_"I should have known it would be you," he said so quietly, he was unsure if she heard him._

_"I loved you," she spoke as if she had already passed. "Do you think our souls will meet again?"_

_"I don't know," he tried to control the sound of his voice. Once he was the most fierce dai-yokai, but in his bedchambers surrounded by nothing but the soulmate he met a century and a half before, he was the same broken man she found in the woods. "Wait for me," his voice finally breaks._

_"I will," she coughed. It rattled the bones of her slender frame._

_He offered her water that she refused. "What if I can't talk to you again?"_

_"I will be with you," he reassured her._

_"Please, promise me," it was almost too painful listening to her speak. What strength she had left was fostered into her voice. "It was good, Sesshomaru."_

_A tear washed down his cheek as he held her. "Very good," he agreed readily knowing that this time she would not wake again._

_"I know you'll go to her."_

_That he couldn't answer. He knew he would too. His chest burned daily, his loins craved release that she could no longer give him and Natsuki was in heat. She was desperate. It was getting worse. Tsukimaru begged him to come to the castle to help her. But he promised._

_"Thank you," she trailed off, her breath deepening into a vortex he knew he couldn't follow._

_"It is I, who should thank you," he kissed her mouth as if she was young again wishing that he could force more of his yoki into her body, to help her live just a little longer or that he would die right next to her. She succumbed to age in his arms. He buried her under the boughs of the sakura tree, an eternal resting place next to the daughter they lost._

"Who is my next appointment," his hands continue to tremor as he holds the scroll. He can feel it starting in his legs.

"There's no one. Suguri-san canceled and your next procedure is in two hours. Oji-sama, if you aren't going to read it, may I?" Her golden eyes are already brimming with tears. The six months have been hard on her. He brings them back to Tokyo once a month to say a prayer by the ancient tree and to visit their grandmother as he promised. They ask what happens to their mother. That he knows well, but even that he can't begin to tell them.

"No," he can't let go. There is something addictive about reliving the past. He had been doing it for the last twenty years since Kagome made it through the well. He had pictures again. He had the last visit with Rin who had appeared out of thin air and returned just as quickly. He could still taste her. He refused to wash his clothes from that day just to breathe in her scent. It was already fading from the shirt he wore that day. He yearned to follow her into the afterlife, but it wasn't time, not yet. He hoped by reading the scroll and discovering how the disease was created, he could find a cure to the seizures that were destroying him. "I'll read it."

"Can I read it too? Please?" Izayoi begs him.

"Fine," he motions her over to his shoulder. His thumbs fumble the first time he tries to unroll the he can begin the phone rings.

Izayoi reaches out an arm and lifts it to her ear, "Rinata-sama's office, how can I help you…yes? I'll tell him," she puts the phone on mute, "Mayumi is being sent home for the day."

"Have her walk to my office," he instructs Izayoi.

"He asks that she walk to his office," she is a lady on the phone. He wonders if he should begin the search for her. There is one he considers. For a time he had a human lover but she passed years before. "Ok…I'll let him know," the phone is muted again. "She blew up the septic tank at the school and the headmaster claims she cut his wrist with a knife but he has been unable to locate the weapon. You have to get her. They want to have a meeting with you. Now."

Breathing is all of a sudden very difficult. He has explained on multiple occasions the danger of exposing their kind. The headmaster will find no physical weapon because Mayumi's blades are not made of human metal, they are created by the miniscule yoki she has access to but is deadly to humans. He sets the scroll down webs his fingers together. He lowers his forehead onto his knuckles, noting how his fingers are not making a comfortable pallet. He reaches into the drawer in his desk removing a vial and a needle. "Find a vein, if you can."

"Should I check your ankles?" Izayoi diligently measures the concoction. "How much longer O-ji-sama?"

"Soon," he shakes his head bitterly. "It should have happened already."

"You said soon six months ago when the Well closed," she says as she kneels on the white linoleum floor. She lifts his pant leg. The veins are varicose but she has been able to find one in the past. "I should just go for the one in your neck."

"You don't know how to hit the one in my neck," he reminds her.

"I could try," she shrugs her shoulders.

"Do as you will. You'll be cared for when the day comes," he says as she stands up. He tilts his head to the side and winces when the needle enters his skin. Another side effect of the disease, his pain tolerance is not what it once was. He takes deliberate breaths as the medicine goes into the thick vein beneath his ear settling his tremors but only barely. He puts the scroll away as he stands up rubbing the skin where she put the injection.

"You mean by Natsuki?"

"Natsuki knows to care for you. If she refuses then one of your cousins will," he straightens his shirt as he stands. He tickles her chin with a smirk on his face. "You won't be alone."

"It's ten years until it opens again," she says wiping a tear. "I'll be twenty seven by then, almost twenty eight. I…I want my parents. It's enough that I can't see them, I don't want to lose you too!"

He embraces his niece, knowing in the past he never would. "It will be as it should," he closes his eyes as he holds her, hoping that his body will hold on long enough to find the cure. He's so close. Just a little longer. He puts on his black suit jacket flipping his hair behind his back and walks out the door to pick up his other niece. R_eckless, impetuous, so like her father._

**Ya'll please review! It makes my day, and night and gets me all giddy to keep writing. Kimmigirl and I got a review on Kiss of Fate that said, 'why don't you guys get more reviews?'. I both love and hate that question because the obvious is, if you read and don't leave a review, then what's up? Authors love reviews, it lets them know you are reading and enjoying. So please, please read!**

**OOH and if you want a good AU Inuyasha/Kagome, check out the story Dog Tags, it's awesome by Lemonlush. **

**Squigglesmagee: **I have been toying with the idea of a Yuki-present scene. But in a few more chapters we get a Yuki-past. The story is told in Interludes, Natsuki, Rin, Sesshomaru, Kagome and Yuki. We'll see what she's like when she is older. LOL right now I am having fun with her and Katsumoto.

**Kimmigirl: **I know I love how badass the girls are in this story :)


	13. Interlude IV-Before

**AHHHHHHH sorry I didn't get a posting up sooner this has been one hell of a week for me. Just to overshare, one of my kids had a lump in their neck that we found 3 weeks ago and we just went through all the cancer screening this week. Thank God everything came back normal and it's a result of an infection not something more scary and deadly! On top of that my last Final took longer because I was busy with that and the community booksale I run annually around this time. It's like life jumped on me in a bad way.**

**Timelines:**

**I got a question about Timelines. Okay so here is how it is working right now. Interludes are 10 years before the Present. The only two present POV's are from Mayumi and Sesshomaru. I once did the math and I'm probably about as old as Kagome would be in 2019, so I would assume Present means around nowish. So the Interludes are 10 years before to start but will move as Nina ages. **

**There will be 4 parts to this story overall. For at least the first 2-3, Present will take up a week or two as it becomes more dire to save Sesshomaru's Life. Part 4 will be a spoiler but I'll make sure it makes sense when I get there.**

**Past- is about 20 years after the series ended and is not flowing at the same rate as the present POV's. I'm trying to tag them as I write them but we are going to see snippets of the entire 10 year period the Disease ravaged Japan and a few years after that. So we're dealing with 3 distinct timelines.**

**Interlude IV**

**Before**

They spent more than a week traveling across the United States. If she had it her way, she would have driven. But Taka had no idea how to drive, her father had never taught her. _Why drive when I can fly faster than a car? And humans are so dimwitted they don't know the difference between a shooting star and a flying dog-demon anyway. _He had once had Taiyomaru clock him flying and he easily surpassed 150 miles per hour at top speeds before the seizures had gotten worse. But then thinking of him seizing brought her sorrow. Who was taking care of Chichiue now? She was often the one who made sure he ate enough and slept. She would find him shivering in the shrine he had built for Rin on cold winter nights because his body didn't hold up well to cold any longer and cover him with a blanket. She was the one that made food that his stomach could tolerate. She had even found some recipes that kept Katsumoto from vomiting them back up but kami forbid that Yuki show any gratitude. _He has Haha-ue and his other children, _was what she told herself. He would be fine without her. He would find the cure to his tremors before they took his life. She was sure of it.

They rode busses by day and at night Taka slept with Nina under the stars. Nina trusted Taka implicitly and never seemed to notice the changes between her human and dog forms. She was able to keep a steady flow of cash by robbing idiots who thought she was a hooker, which allowed them to buy food and sometimes find hotels to sleep in. She just needed to make it to San Francisco where the school for the blind and deaf was. Nina could learn to speak there.

But once they arrived it took one more trip to the library for Taka to figure out what to do with her little girl and she wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. She needed to abandon her, or make her look abandoned to get her into the foster-care system. Foster children automatically got Medicaid which would pay for any treatments the child-needed, including school. There was no way that Taka could afford the payments to the school, a home or anything else for Nina in San Francisco. It was too much.

With a heavy heart and a cramping stomach she led her in dog form to a fire station. The internet said the best place to abandon babies and children was at the fire station. Although if she were human she could be charged with abandonment and endangering a minor, but how would they trace anything back to Taka? She didn't exist. Her ID said her name was, Lucy Donahue. She was so pale, no one would know she was Japanese anyway.

She licked her lips nervously as the child followed her. Nina had learned to walk with one small hand on the dog's shoulder so as not to get lost. Taka knew Nina paid attention to the shifting of her shoulder blades. A bit to the left and she turned with Taka, a bit to the right and she turned again.

They turned the corner to the fire station, it was a monster of a building. It had four garages for their many fire trucks and bright red paint on the walls. Taka walked her through one of the entrances, in between the fire truck and the red bricks with Nina trailing next to her.

A group of men were in the back talking. "Hey!" One of them called to Nina. They ambled up to her. The one who spoke first had blue eyes and a balding head squat down and said, "hey there." He glanced back at the other men for affirmation before noticing her ghost-like white eyes. His hand went up to her face, his thumb traced the scars around her eyes.

Nina roared something unintelligible and attempted to run away. Taka blocked her nudging her forward with her muzzle. She could hear the little heart racing but Taka knew, these were good people.

"Good girl," one of the other men said and attempted to pat Taka on the ass. He had a young face without lines. "Is this your dog?"

"Can she hear us?" another one asked.

Nina was having a full blown melt down. She was crying, kicking and fighting against the firemen. "Where are your parents?"

"She can't hear you Jack," one of the men said, he snapped his fingers next to her ear. Nina's eyes didn't track to the noise and her head didn't move.

"Who is she?"

"I don't know…wait," it was then he noticed that there was a paper pinned to the back of Nina's shirt. It was the same one her parents left. "What is this?"

"It isn't English," said another one. "Except this. Nina Hawthorne. Is that who you are?"

Nina was curled into a ball on the ground sobbing covering her eyes. Taka curled up next to her. _Don't worry little one. I'm not leaving you. _As if to apologize for the stress she caused her little girl, Taka licked the tears around her eyes and nuzzled her nose.

Taka turned around just as one of the men kneeling next to her tried to tie a rope around her neck. She snarled at them in warning, her eyes burned like a vermillion fire. She let her yoki choke them. They backed off quickly. It's one thing to see a pissed off dog, it's another when they are a pure-blooded dog-demon who can emit a dark spiritual power so robut it makes the hair on your arms stand. _Will I be stronger than you one day Chichiue?_

_ No little one._

_ At least stronger than Tsuki?_

_ No._

_ Taiyomaru?_

_ No._

_ Well then what will I be?_

_ My daughter. _

_ You already have a daughter._

_ But she isn't you and you aren't Yuki. _

_ Will I be stronger than her?_

_ In might yes, in attitude, you may spare me her antics. _

_ She called me a bitch._

_ She's called me worse. _

"Call the pound and Social Services, I think the child was abandoned. Don't touch the dog…I think it's crazy." One of them said nervously.

Taka waited. They were nice to Nina. They brought her food which she allowed them to give her and candy and some sweet smelling juice that reminded her of Japanese oranges. Her parents always thought she was weird for eating them, but she seemed to be the only one that could stomach fresh oranges. One of the firemen, the one called Jack offered Taka some foul smelling crunchy thing in the shape of a bone that she stuck her nose up at. Then he offered something he called a hot dog, she shook her head and he nearly pissed his pants. "Can you understand me?"

She bared her teeth and snarled, sending ripples along her cheeks. This was getting tedious.

After that he brought her a bowl of water and put something else that looked like her nephew's constipated diapers in front of her. She stuck her tongue out at it and slapped the bowl away from her face.

"Wow picky little princess aren't you?"

Nina kept her head against Taka's shoulders petting her fur. A short time later Taka saw another man in uniform come with a woman in a plane brown skirt and shirt. She had a clipboard and a camera in her hand. The officer spoke quietly to the firemen. Taka had already made up her mind that wherever Nina was going she would go too. "What a beautiful dog," the woman said.

"Be careful, she's got attitude."

Taka snorted.

"Well I hate to separate them, but I can't take the dog back to the children's home with me. It's against policy."

Taka hadn't thought of that. The woman bent over to take Nina's hand. Taka lashed out, she nipped at her fingers without breaking the skin. The woman cursed, "dammit. Are you sure she doesn't have rabies?"

"No. I think she doesn't like the idea of being separated from her human," Jack sat down and tried to pet Taka. "Nice doggy."

_GRRRRRRR_

"Okay," he stood up, smoothing her hair. "Can't you take them both?"

Another car arrived. Two women got out dressed in light blue shirts and dark blue pants. Their hair was pulled back in a way Taka could only think meant they were uptight. They carried a long pole that had a loop on the end. _Good luck idiots, _Taka rose onto her haunches and let out a growl. She hovered over Nina. The pole came at her neck, she grabbed it in her mouth and clamped down. They attempted to pull it out of her mouth only for her to release a discrete amount of dokkasu that sluiced the metal of the pole and broke it.

"Is that dog laughing at us?" One of the women said to the other.

"I told you guys, I don't think she wants to be separated from the girl," Jack sat down on one of the benches. "$100 says you can't get the dog in the truck."

"How did she bite through this?" The red haired woman inspected the end.

"Get the tranquilizer gun," the other woman had short blonde hair.

Her partner got the tranquilizer gun and loaded it. She pointed it at Taka.

Taka started laughing in earnest this time. She allowed them to hit her to avoid some suspicion, then ripped the dart out of her fur. She felt nothing. They shot another one that hit her in the ass. She stood there gazing at them like they were idiots. "How long is it supposed to take to work?" Jack asked.

"It should have worked already," the woman with red hair rubbed her head.

"Look, let me call my wife," Jack took a phone from his pocket. "We can't keep the dog long term or the girl, but we are foster parents. We already have a twelve year old boy with us. But they can stay with us until you find a more permanent home."

"You said she was blind and deaf?" The social worker asked. "She won't be easy to place. Are you sure there was enough sedative in there?"

"There was enough for a Mastif and she looks like a…well…I'm not sure. Have you ever seen a dog with red eyes before?" one of the women asked.

Taka leaned over her side and removed the offending dart from her ass and spit it back at them.

"Did she just roll her eyes at us?"

"There is something creepy about this dog."

Nina giggled from beneath Taka petting her fur, then she hugged the dog around the waist. They would stay together, if it was the only thing Taka did. Nina was her little girl now.

"_Chichiue?" They sat in the library. She was the size of a seven-year old. Yuki said I'm leftovers. _

_ He closed his medical journal and sat up. "Leftovers?"_

_ "Yeah, she said you don't love Haha-ue and that I was an afterthought after her mother's death. Is that true?"_

_ His face wrinkled and she still remembered wishing that his answer would have come faster. "You were my first thought."_

_ "But you had me after Rin died."_

_ "You know I always wanted another child after the disease ravaged our kind. You are the answer to my hopes Taka. My comfort."_

_ "You named me after a bird."_

_ "Because I knew how you would soar."_

_ "So I'm not leftovers?"_

_ "You are everything little one. This," he pointed at his heart, "was empty after she died. Now that I have you it's full again."_

_ "Why did you love her? She was human. Tsukimaru said you hated humans." _

_ He exhaled heavily. "I found her as a child and she warmed my heart, taught me to feel, taught me to heal." _

_ "From what?"_

_ "Everything. You'll know it one day Taka. Someone will come into our life that gives you reason, gives you hope. When you find that person, you stay with them. Even if they are human. It was the happiest century and a half of my life."_

_ "You mean a lover?"_

_ "I mean a friend." _

_ "But you loved her."_

_ "We were friends before we were lovers."_

_ "Will I ever have friends?"_

_ "You have your family," he reminded her._

_ But what did she have trapped in that castle? Others came and went and she was always trapped. _

As they were led into the social workers car the thought crossed her mind, _Nina. My first friend._

**_Story Recommendation: The Cruelest Winter AM78 Mir/Sang amazing!_**

**Please review! I love me my reviews! Keeps me motivated and writing. I am off school for three weeks so let the creative bug hit me! Remember to follow me on twitter. Link is in my profile and it's basically twitter and then a forward slash and elohiniar.**

**What's next? Well I'm going to write another one-shot for Avatar. If you want to go check out, No Sea Legs Here and drop me a review I would be in heaven. I will continue to update both Drabbles as inspiration comes.**

**I took creative writing this semester and am going to publish my originals on Wattpad. Same username! So check me out over there. **

**Kiss of Fate under Kimmigirl9's profile is coming along. We are updating it a bit because we came up with new ideas but it's sure to take you on an emotional rollercoaster and please please leave reviews for her! It's AU. Rin is an American who has a dark past when she meets Sesshomaru who hates humans. He discovers she is his mate and must save her from a human who is desperate to make Rin his.**

**Super exciting! Anyone familiar with Tales from the House of the Moon, Sess/Kag and loved it the wonderful Resmiranda gave me permission to spoof it. If you liked the Big Spoof get ready. Over break I am going to start the spoof of that story. **

**Responses to reviews:**

**Ivriel: **I put an explanation of the Timeline in the beginning of the story. I hope it helps. I tried Ningen Impossibilities and couldn't get past chapter 4. I cannot stand the abusive Sess and the Rin that rolls over and takes it from him. That was such an overused plotline 10 years ago and really want to see more stories that have them meet as equals, especially once a relationship starts.

**GinaX2: **Yep, Sesshomaru is dying in the future. He's at the tail end of the side effects and hopefully he will find a cure before it's too late. Glad my writing keeps you out of trouble.

**Guesswho: **I know, I made myself cry writing that chapter. So to clarify, Sesshomaru did not take another human lover he is talking about one he knows would match Izayoi. Because of her ears, he's worried about who would take her. She has doggy ears like her father and it would be harder to hide her heritage. Thank you for all the compliments. I do love making people think.

**SquigglesMcgee: **Let it be known I am a bitch. No really I am. So yes masturbation would be a surefire way to alleviate horniness but that wasn't what Natsuki had. She was in heat and the only thing that would have solved it, is ejaculation of sperm inside of her which is why she needed Sesshomaru and he wouldn't allow anyone else to sleep her with which is why he locked her in a room which is going to be a massive point of contention between Sesshomaru and Tsukimaru.

**Luna-Fanel- **I agree, it's only going to get worse for Sesshomaru in the present for now. Yes Mayumi is in a lot of emotional pain and acting out. I hope you had a good week too!

**GOGO: **Again Instinct is a bitch. Natsuki is his, like a hat or a glove or a coat that he will not share with someone else and murder the one that touches her in an intimate way. He promised Rin and well I can't give away the plot but if he had broken it then it would have been bad news.

**Guest: **that would have been so funny! But then Sess would have killed them. Anytime someone wants to start putting my stories in comic form, I know the spanish ones do that i would be cool with it, the only problem is copyright because these are Rumiko's characters and I don't know how that works and wouldn't authorize it without permission.


	14. Natsuki Past-I

**I am so humbled by all my reviews, thank you everyone so much! Sorry it's only been one chapter a week instead of two. I have been a bit busy with life and the like. From here on out, both story-lines heat up very quickly!**

**Natsuki-past**

She paces back and forth in her room holding her son. He is looking more and more like his father as time continues on. His hair is growing in long, white ringlets around his ears and his face wrinkles in all the same ways his father's does, especially when he is angry. She takes a silk green cloth and ties the baby to her back. The first meeting is happening tonight, during dinner. She didn't ask for this. She doesn't want to live with Rin and Sesshomaru. She has no idea where her father got this idea from. She sent for a meeting with her father only to be rebuffed. She attempted banging down his door and was sent away. She screamed into the hallway that she didn't want this and is resigned to her fate.

Of course her bond pinches, it aches and she yearns to be near him and this isn't their way but that isn't what is important. She made a promise. She caused them pain and she knows it. A knock on the door startles her out of her thoughts, nearly making her drop Tsukimaru in the process. She scrambles to catch him under the arms before he flops onto the floor.

"It's time," Gobodo-sama tells her as she is led from her room dressed regally into the hallway. She holds onto the railing for safety, her fingers shake with nerves. "You will give Tsukimaru to one of the servants. He wants to see his son."

"This is ridiculous," Natsuki struts in front of Gobodo-sama, uncaring that she is overstepping.

"Natsuki," the sinister female voice calls her back. "This is my house. Do not make me remind you of your place."

"Fine," the woman huffs as she passes the baby to a female servant. "You will bring him to me when he becomes hungry," she says firmly. She ruffles his hair. "He's in there," she touches her heart. Her chest is fluttering like a spring butterfly.

"You are to sit next to him," Gobodo-sama points to a high backed chair next to her own at the head of the table.

"Are you doing this to spite his human?" the younger female hisses at Gobodo-sama.

"No, I'm doing this to stop a war. If your father is kept even slightly happy by seeing the two of you together, it will keep him from sieging my son's home. He does not have a force to stop an army of his own kind no matter how powerful he is and that will stay between you and I." She opens the doors and the dining hall quiets.

The golden lined table is stocked with raw animals dripping in their own bloods, thick drinks that are only for demons and herbs that are known to loosen the tongue. Everyone stands as Gobodo-sama enters. The quiet murmurs become silent. Sesshomaru glares at his mother as he pulls the seat out for Natsuki to sit. Their fingers connect making sparks fly between them as she sits. Her stomach pitches with a need she hasn't felt in years. She feels a rough piece of parchment enter her hands. She sits down, their hips brush against each other. "This is ridiculous," she says picking up her chopsticks.

"What was that Natsuki?" Kensaku, silver haired sits across from them. Golden eyes are hardened against the two of them. "It's good to see you two together, finally." He fakes a smile that bears his sharp fangs.

"This is still my house Kensaku. You will not speak out of turn again," Gobodo-sama waves her hand in the air signaling the rest of the guests to sit. A goblet of wine brushes past the elder demoness's lips.

"You have allowed this shame to go on long enough. This is not what we agreed to," Kensaku raises his voice. Her father is a monster of a man. He has doted on her, his entire life as the only female heir, but when he was angry, his fists and his words left their marks for centuries.

Gobodo-sama's yoki rises. Natsuki rubs her arms. It's choking the room. She can barely breathe. As usual Sesshomaru both outwardly and inwardly seems unconcerned about his mother's display of power. The other guests cower as a shadow rises over them. "This is my home," her voice booms in the hall. "We will discuss the matter at hand as I see fit." The light returns. "Now you may eat."

The young demoness glances down at the parchment in her hand, **_is this your doing?_** The words accuse her of starting this. She can see him watching her out of the corner of his eye. She touches his finger that is braced on his lap to get his attention. He brings the boar meat to his mouth ignoring her. She passes the paper back into his hand, regretting the action as fireworks dance between them again. Breathing is suddenly difficult again. "May I be excused?" she begs Gobodo-sama.

"You may not," the older female denies her.

"You also did not keep your end of the bargain, Kensaku." Sesshomaru licks the juices from his fingertips. "I was told she was not to approach me for another century and yet she brazenly presented herself to me during battle. Do you care to explain that?"

She shrinks in her chair, embarrassed by her actions.

"This isn't our way," another inu-yokai stands up.

Natsuki knows him as her father's advisor. He has brown hair that is long reaching past his backside, golden eyes as they all do and no stripes on his face. _What is going on? _Her father didn't care at first, and now all of a sudden he does.

"Sit down Nobu!" a green light wraps around the advisors throat choking him. "Do I need to say it again?" Gobodo-sama laughs malevolently. "I have not had a good fight since I killed Touma's father. If you would like to challenge me, please continue to speak."

A brief smile crosses Sesshomaru's face.

"Kensaku, can you explain your daughter's actions?" Gobodo-sama's voice projects across the hall once again. "Let it be known to all, that Kensaku and I agreed to this pairing as long as it happened a century from now. In return he would cede lands to my Sesshomaru as well as provide aid during battle. She was only three hundred and fifty-two at the time. Fifty years early, not even in heat yet. Her body was taxed by birthing Tsukimaru and she nearly caused the death of my son's lover and herself. It was reckless."

"That was all a plot hatched by your other son," Kensaku barks at her, although it sounds more subdued than before.

"Touma's actions are not my responsibility," Sesshomaru speaks for himself, "and neither are hers. Our relationship-"

"You mean lack of relationship," the advisor ads in quickly.

"I agreed to keep my distance," Natsuki finally finds her voice. Her heart is still pounding. Her cheeks are red. _Why did I listen to Touma? _

"Regardless," Kensaku resumes speaking, ignoring his daughter's words. "You are shaming my daughter and I will not allow it. You used your family's Villa for your human lover without my consent on my lands and did not even offer the same level of respect for your soulmate who is actually pure-blooded. Our way is to spend time in seclusion after a bonding, not to reject the one we bond."

"He's correct," Gobodo-sama concedes the issue. "Would you be happy if they did spend a week in seclusion?"

"I will not!" Sesshomaru bellows at his mother.

"You will show my daughter the respect she deserves or the truce between our lands is finished!" Kensaku's chair flies behind him, slamming into the wall. The clatter silences the dining hall.

"Tell me, if I killed you, would your army still be loyal to you?" Sesshomaru scoffs, half laughing at his own dark joke. "Our way is domination, war, blood-lust. How many of your guards would it take to subdue this Sesshomaru?" His muscles flex, she can feel the bulge against her hip. His emotions are focused, concentrated.

"Is that a threat?" Her father's face is red, boiling and angry.

"Sesshomaru," his mother warns him.

"It is whatever you make of it, Kensaku. My lands are simply that, my lands. I do not need an army to subdue one pathetic coward who cannot approach this Sesshomaru himself!" With each word he speaks, his voice crescendos as he rises from his chair. He looks like a god when he stands. Without the obtrusive black armor, she can see the line of his pecs as it disappears into a green kimono. The attenuated silks he wears drape over a body that has been perfected over centuries. She wants him and it hurts denying her body such a blissful need.

"This is not the time," Gobodo-sama waves them both down. "There are rumors…"

"Not this again," Sesshomaru begrudgingly finds his chair, scooting it closer to his mother to avoid his hips bumping into Natsuki's again.

"It has to be discussed," Gobodo-sama leaves no room for argument. "Satoshi?"

Natsuki turns her head. She knows what's coming. She's heard the rumors. They've made their way all the way to the skies where Gobodo-sama rules.

"We lost six in the last week alone," he says firmly. "I guard the eastern side of the western border. It's a group of twenty monks. They came in number and subdued one of our kind and purified the rest. I barely escaped with my life. We have not been able to find the one they took."

"Hikari?" Gobodo-sama calls to another Inu-yokai.

Natsuki feels sick to her stomach hearing this. They've had their issues in the past with the Monks and Mikos but it's never been like this. Her family home is in that area. She has a little brother who is barely over a century. Her mother is there. Children play freely along the banks of the river and sleep under the stars. _What's happening?_

"We had the same," Hikari is black haired with strange markings around his eyes. "A large group of Monks attacked us while we were hunting sika. We had children with us…" it's not proper for the voice of a Inu-yokai to break, but it does none the less. "My daughter…she was only seventy-five."

"What is happening?" Her soulmate turns to his mother.

"This is why we cannot have this right now. Spend a week with her in seclusion and let us be done with this argument," Gobodo-sama says.

"No," Sesshomaru glares at Natsuki as he stands. "Kensaku, you violated your agreement. You sent two pathetic pawns to subdue this Sesshomaru. I will not be manipulated by your schemes. My lands are safe."

"For now," Kensaku threatens as Sesshomaru storms out of the room. Gobodo-sama runs after him cursing, hefting her heavy layers up to keep them from dragging on the floor.

"Chichiue, please stop this," Natsuki begs him. "We don't want this," she rubs her arms. Being next to him is torment. Her blood is boiling. She needs relief. She closes her eyes forcing her body to calm itself.

"It is not proper and we are losing too many of our own," he rebukes her as if she were still a little girl.

"Why are you doing this? Beyond it's not proper?"

"His barrier is made from reiki, how?"

"Why?"

"Besides this castle that is unreachable by them, we may have no other place to hide until the wrath of the monks and mikos has been satiated."

"His hanyou brother is bound to a Miko. Chichiue, this is madness!"

"Find out how they have erected a barrier from holy energy that does not destroy them!" He raises his voice at her.

"I can't believe you are doing this! I won't help you!" She shrieks at her father. She can stand no more, she rises and leaves the room, avoiding the confrontation between Sesshomaru and his mother as she does.

**Please review! Oh gosh...what's going to happen? Gobodo-sama is encouraging Sesshomaru to spend a week alone with Natsuki? EEEK**

**Story Plug-time! **

**Trudy's One Night Stand- From Avatar (2009)...Trudy/Norm/Tsutey/Ninat...for anyone who wants something light hearted. **

**Tales from the House of the Moon 02- by me, I got permission to spoof this and it's sure to be hilarious. Sess/Kag, Jaken/Rin**

**Silently in Love- Sess/Rin**

**Sesshomaru and Avalon Sess/OC by Nightbird755, beta'ed by yours truly. Please be aware it has a violent rape scene and is not for young readers.**

**Shante Kinney: **Making Rin's reincarnation both deaf and blind is a double whammy but I couldn't think of a story line where Nina would just love Sesshomaru because Rin did and if Sesshomaru loves Nina because she has Rin's soul, how fair is that to Nina? Basically I just literally couldn't write a story-line where there wasn't some kind of barrier that is if they meet at all.

**Guest: **Yeah it is kind of poetic justice that Sesshomaru hated his brother for being a half demon but now his half-demon children hate their pure-blooded siblings. Except for Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru. Those two are best friends.


	15. Sesshomaru-Past III

**OOh YAY you guys are back. I noticed a slow down over the holidays. I'm so excited to get to this part because it's like action! Finally! It has come to my attention that the app deletes out breaks that we use to separate scenes. I have yet to figure out how to fix that problem. **

**Sesshomaru-past**

_She woke up in the crook of his shoulder. Her slender fingers rest across his chest. Her eyes had dark patches around them still from the expended yoki she had used to help him heal Rin. He allowed himself the pleasure of her lips. One last kiss to satiate them both, to quiet his senses. He pressed his tongue into hers and went to stand. As they both dressed his eyes traced her body. He had been with his fair share of female inu-yokai, but Natsuki's was not like the others. Her hips were still moderately straight and her breasts small. "It was too soon," he said quietly pulling on his grey hikama._

_"What was?" Natsuki's cheeks blushed as she dressed in her golden inner layer._

_"To make our son. Your body has not finished maturing." He approached her and set a hand on her hips. "These should be wider. It was dangerous." The hand ran up her back, giving her goosebumps. _

_"I know," she said obviously ashamed of her actions. Her eyes had the same golden hue as his own, only her skin was paler and her body more delicate. _

_"You understand why I came? Why we did this?" The sun was just beginning to set outside. The yellow tinge reflected off the window making her seem that much more divine. He needed to return to Rin. She ached and although she agreed to this it hurt her none-the-less. "It cannot happen again. You will keep your distance until after her death. I will return to you then." _

_Her voice broke as she asked, "how long do humans live?"_

_"Sixty, sometimes seventy years. The blink of an eye." It saddened him to admit that Rin would leave him so soon. _

_"I can wait," she said firmly pulling on another layer of clothing. This time, she approached him. Her arms traveled up his shoulders and around his neck. He did not resist. She pulled his neck down to embrace his lips, and he allowed it. _

_He kissed her tenderly knowing that they would not see each other again. He broke it as he ran his thumb across her bottom lip. "I will come once a week to visit my son. You will ensure that he is fed and give us space."_

_"Okay." _

_"Mother will teach you to control your emotions. You will not send for me unless your life or the life of my son is in danger," the words come out bitterly. _

_"What if I go into heat?" She turned away from him._

_"You will suffer. I will not come to you again." _

_That was the last time they had seen each other._

His blood and his loins are boiling. He knew that Kensaku would force him into close proximity with Natsuki. His fingers buzz from just touching her skin. His body tingles with need. He needs a cold bath and to lock the door to his room. He is stopped by a green whip lashing out at him, wrapping around his shoulders and ceasing the movement of his feet. "Stop Sesshomaru!" his mother yells at him. "They are not just rumors. You don't understand."

"They do not concern this Sesshomaru. My home is safe. None can enter that would cause us harm," he fires dokkasu at her slicing through her whip and freeing himself.

"Until Yuki leaves without permission? What about when your lover goes hunting for food? That barrier is what Kensaku is after. He is scared, everyone is."

"Then let the coward find a rock to crawl under."

"It's one week Sesshomaru!" Her claws dig into his skin.

"No it's not just one week. If I make love to her once, I will do it again and again and again and drive the woman I love from my home with jealousy. It is not just one week, you are asking me to sacrifice my relationship, my children because she could not be bothered to wait until Rin died! And you…you act as if this is all a game! That we are all pawns because none have the strength! Mark my words mother, I will overpower you one day," he slams his mother's shoulders against the wall, "I will revel in your death."

"Will you?" She shoves him back with equal intensity sending him over the railing with a half grin on her lips. "You're still just an untrained puppy humping whatever your instinct tells you!"

He circles in the air catching his bearings then soars back up the winding staircase. "You will stay out of my affairs. I have established my land and if I must rid myself of your lover to keep you from entering the confines of my home, I will."

"Sesshomaru!" She follows him to his room.

He attempts to slam the door in her face.

She shoves it open nearly sending him flying again. "You are acting like the spoiled boy that used to sit and pout in this room when he didn't get his way. Do you not understand what is at stake? Your barrier will fall if it is pressed with enough yoki to combat it! You do not have an army. Kensaku does. Give him what he wants!"

"I will not betray her."

"It's not betrayal! Human males often have more than one female. You are being sentimental and ridiculous! Your life and the lives of your children are in danger. Rin will not survive-"

He cuts her off by wrapping his fingers around her neck and slamming her head into the wall. "I let you gloat over me when she was a child and you allowed her death in the underworld. I tolerated you meddling in my affairs and finding Natsuki. Now it is enough. You will not…" he stops short. She is trying not to send for him, but her body knows better. She's been injured. She's going into shock. His mouth dries, his grip on his mother slackens.

"It's Hisato too…"

Together they run for the door outside his room and leap into the air.

**OH SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO RIN AND HISATO?**

**Please review! Ahhh I've been working with Kimmigirl9 on Kiss of Fate and once again someone asked why aren't we getting more reviews? Then I spent time talking with other authors and we've come to the conclusion that A as I have mentioned before people don't review like they used to and B...Rin/Sess is a dying pairing and part of that is because people get flames for writing her any other way than the norm. So thank you to everyone who has reviewed my stories and enjoyed the emotional, angsty mess I have made. It means the world to me. Rin/Sess will always be my go-to pairing! But if you all want people to write more good quality sess/rin pairings we all have to get over her being the princess that can't experience pain and is fawned over 100% of the time and let her be something more than a girl that spends her whole life pining for sess. Trust me people have amazing stories to tell and won't if they don't get support. So support, leave reviews...all of you...now!**

**Story Suggestion: Heart's Abduction, by Lemonlush Inu/Kag**

**Guest#1:** Yeah killing all the Inu-Youkai would get rid of the threat to his family, but you'll see it in this chapter and the following ones that Gobodo-sama is intent on not losing more bodies because they need them to fight against the Monks and Mikos who have decided it's time to end the demons time on earth. Basically why fight amongst yourselves, when you can fight the real threat out there? Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru have a special bond because of how they were born.

**Guest #2: **So why create Nina...to torment you? Or because I am not going to give the plot away but I am having so much fun watching you guys guess how they are going to meet and be soo off the mark. Keep guessing A. if they will meet at all and B. When...I guess we'll see what happens.

**Luin-Fanel:** The barrier will reject anyone that wants to cause Sesshomaru and Rin or his children harm. Human or demon. It's the wonderful trick of his barrier and the reason he wanted it. He wanted to limit all threats to Rin in his absence as much as possible. So yes they think they will find protection there.

**Guesswho: **You can thank Jodi Picoult for the inspiration. My main issue writing a reincarnation story is that I cannot do 100% fluff. I will get bored. I need a story to tell...so it would have been a short story or like this the plot-lines intersecting makes it so I can write her reincarnation and what happened during the 10 years of the Disease. Oh I enjoy the drama too...why make life for them easy?


	16. Yuki-Past I

**THE DISEASE WAS NOMINATED BY FEUDAL CONNECTION TUMBLR FOR BEST ANGST! NOMINATIONS END JANUARY 15TH SO IF YOU THINK ANY OF MY OTHER STORIES DESERVE LET ME KNOW!**

**PLEASE VOTE FOR ME WHEN VOTING STARTS!**

**Yuki**

Yuki lopes ahead of her mother in the direction of the village. She holds Taiyomaru on her back as she runs through the grass. She tickles his feet while they run. He laughs. Ka-san says that they need to work in the garden. So they ate a quick breakfast and then set off for the village. Yuki complains about being put to work. It's fine that her mother wants her to be part of the community garden, but Yuki certainly doesn't want to. She hopes that if she gets far enough ahead, her mother will give up and let her play by herself.

"Yuki wait!" Harutoga still struggles to keep up with her. "You never carry me anymore."

"You're getting too big Haru. You're almost as tall as me." Yuki refuses to slow her pace. She wants to talk to Shiori. Despite the years they have lived in the village, Shiori and her mother Shizu have kept to themselves. Yuki has seen the bat-hanyou a few times but she wants to see her up-close. Sure, plenty of the children have pure-blooded demon parents, but few of them were the product of a dai-yokai like she is. For the longest time she wanted to find out what the girl was capable of.

"Chichiue said you have to call me Harutoga!" the little boy yells at her.

"No, Ka-san said I have to and she can't hear me. Haru." She sticks her tongue out at him.

"I can hear you," Katsumoto says from behind them.

Yuki rolls her eyes. "Your job is to guard us, not tell me what to do. Shut up," she hisses.

"You are so rude," the pure-blooded demon counters. "I think it shall become my task to teach you proper manners."

"Good luck," Harutoga giggles struggling to keep up. "Slow down Yuki!"

"Harutoga! Yuki!" Rin calls them with a hand shielding her eyes from the bright sun. "We're going to the garden!"

Obediently Harutoga pivots in a long arc and runs after his mother and Hisato.

"Yeah right." Yuki nearly collides into Katsumoto. Her hands whip to her back to catch Taiyomaru from dropping. The child has a death grip on several strands of her hair.

"Turn around little one." Katusmoto kneels down on one knee. "For the last twelve years I think you have exasperated everyone around you. That won't happen with me. Go on."

"I'm thirteen moron." She tries to shoulder past him with her brother laughing at her impudence.

She is stopped by fingers gripping into her knobby shoulder. "I said turn around," his tone is low and cold.

"Yuki!" Rin summons her again.

"Let go of my arm." She raises a menacingly green hand in the air, claws dripping her poison.

Katsumoto flips his hand palm up, flicks his fingers and binds the hand in neon green energy. This causes Taiyomaru to drop. "Go to your mother little one," Katsumoto pats the child with his free hand. Taiyomaru bounds off in his mother's direction. "You will not win this battle. Go to your mother or I'll tie you up and drag you there."

Her other hand comes faster than he anticipates, but not fast enough. She attempts to slash his face only for the whip to extend from the bound hand to her free hand pulling them over her head. "Shall I march you there like a prisoner?" He steps on top of one her toes. "Don't think of using those. I'll catch them too."

"I hate you," she spits in his face.

He wipes the liquid off his nose with the hand that isn't holding her and wipes it on his grass-green haori. "It's a good thing we aren't intended to like each other then. Your decision, I parade you like a prisoner in front of all of your friends to the garden or you walk there

yourself and help your mother nicely? Which one?"

"You're a jerk," her eyes redden as frustrated tears come. "I'm telling Chichiue."

"I highly doubt your Chichiue would care you didn't get your way while defying your Ka-san." He pushes her in the opposite direction. "Now…"

"Fine I'll go myself," the words come out choked with tears.

"Good." He rises off his knees, releasing her hands.

Her shoulders slump as she stomps to the garden, trying to look like she wasn't just utterly defeated. "Stupid Katsumoto," she sniffs back her tears. She flops to her knees next to her mother. Taiyomaru and Harutoga are already obediently following their mother's directions. "Traders." She glares at her brothers.

Rin rests a soft hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You could have just come. Chichiue told you to behave before he left."

"This is behaving." She digs her hands into the ground softening the earth. "What are we growing here?"

"Parsnips for the fall," Rin laughs. "Hisato, go find Shizu. I'd like to talk to her."

"They've been here for years, why haven't you met them yet?" Yuki asks her mother.

"Shizu's husband was killed many years ago. They've preferred their privacy but I think we've given them enough time to adjust, don't you?" Rin tells her daughter. "Shiori could be a friend for you."

"I don't need help making friends." This time the world swirls as her eyes move around in her head.

"Katsumoto," Hisato nods at his cousin. "Keep watch until I return."

"I don't like him," Yuki hisses at her mother. "He's a stupid jerk!"

Rin covers her mouth with her wrist while she laughs at Yuki's outburst. "Personally I like him. I think he's going to be good for you."

"No he's not." She picks up a chunk of dirt. It's so moist she balls it up, squishing the juices out so they drip into the dirt. She slides a rock inside and raises it to pelt Katsumoto in the face. He disappears in a flash and is suddenly behind her shaking her weapon out of her hand. She tries to bite his hand, only for him to knock her over.

The entire time her mother laughs because there is finally someone who can stand up to her daughter's moods.

Yuki glances over her shoulder just as Hisato is returning with Shizu who holds the hand of a little girl that looks no older than herself. Shizu's hair has grey wisps around the sides. Her face is lined with age. Her head bows in respect to Rin. "Rin-sama, I'm Shizu. It's nice to meet you."

Rin rises gracefully from the ground. "It's nice to meet you." She goes to the water bucket against what used to be the Healer's hut and washes her hands. Nobuatsu uses it as storage now. She inclines her head to the older woman. "Harutoga, go get the seeds for the carrots."

"Yes Ka-san." The boy runs over to the buckets that are inside the hut. He comes out with a small bag of seeds and goes to work tilling and planting. Behind him his brother follows quietly.

"Ka-chan, they look like Inuyasha," the little girl gazes up at her mother.

"They're Inuyasha's niece and nephews. Sesshomaru-sama is Inuyasha's brother," Shizu says kindly patting her daughter on the head. "I had heard about you years ago. I thought it was a dream that there would be a place where my daughter would be accepted. Shiori, say hello."

Shiori shyly waves her hand.

"Yuki, come say hello," she encourages her daughter.

Yuki gets off the ground, her knees are covered in dirt. She bows lightly. "I'm Yuki. The boys are Taiyomaru," she points to her littlest brother with a thick black mane on his head, "and Harutoga."

"Do you want to show Shiori how to plant Kabocha?" Rin gives Yuki a small push to the shack.

"Come on," Yuki clasps the other girl's hand. "How old are you anyway?"

"Thirty two or thirty three, I think. I'm not sure. Ka-chan stopped counting a while ago," Shiori follows her into the ram shackled hut.

Yuki digs through the bags of seeds. "Where the hell are they?"

"What do they look like?"

"They're big and goldish brown. Oval shaped," Yuki pushes a box aside and opens another set of barrels going through the seeds. "I hate gardening."

"So do I. We lived by the ocean before." Shiori joins in the searching for the seeds. "But after Chichiue died, we had to find somewhere else to live. The villagers didn't like me. My father, Tsukuyomaru used to protect them, but then…well my Ji-sama killed him and most of the village."

"Why?" Yuki asks, still ignorant of the realities of being what she is. "Didn't your Jisama like you?"

"Your uncle killed Ji-sama," Shiori says with little emotion. "You're younger than me aren't you?"

"I'm thirteen," the little Inu-hanyou says, "finally." The bag makes a clicking sound as she pulls it out of a brown barrel.

"Did you ever live anywhere but here?" Shiori asks her.

"No, well when I was a baby I lived in the village with Ojisan until I was nine months old. Then we moved here." She leaves out the months where she lived in the village by the ocean where she wasn't accepted and the names the villagers called her. She covers her mouth suddenly realizing what Shiori was talking about. "Oh…people were mean to you?"

"Yeah," the bat hanyou sighs. "Ka-chan is getting old. She wanted me to come here so I would have some place to stay after she dies."

The conversation is suddenly making Yuki uncomfortable. She knows her father is old, very old and her Soba-sama even more than that. "What happened to your Chichiue?"

"Ji-sama killed him."

"Why?"

"He threatened to leave the bat-yokai and live permanently with Ka-chan," Shiori answers plainly.

"That's not a reason to kill someone. Chichiue doesn't live with the other inu-yokai and Soba-sama still likes us. Why would your grandfather kill your father?"

"Because Ka-chan is human," Shiori replies with her arms folded.

"Soba-sama loves us," Yuki says truly not comprehending what Shiori is saying.

"For now…"

_For now? What does that mean?_ Yuki is taken aback by Shiori's words. _For now? Does this mean she likes Tsukimaru better? _The little one needs a distraction. "Hey, what can you do? Your father was Dai-yokai like mine right? Can you do something?"

"Make barriers." Shiori's palms come together. A light blue sheen covers her and Yuki. "Like this one. I can make it bigger." It expands to the walls of the hut. "Or push you out," her eyes flash and Yuki is knocked out of the barrier landing on her back from the force.

Yuki giggles peeping out the door of the hut.

"Yuki! Hurry up please!" Rin calls to her daughter.

"Can you keep that up?" Yuki grabs Shiori's shoulder. "How long can you keep the barrier?"

"A while," Shiori expands it to cover Yuki again.

"Good," she leans down and gathers dirt from the floor of the hut into another ball, sliding a rock in. After it's packed just right she pokes her head out of the shack and glares at Katsumoto. "Hey dog-breath! Ugly mutt-face!" She chucks the packed mud at him missing. "Dammit."

"Yuki!" Rin yells exasperated.

"Was she trying to hit me?" Katsumoto expression flattens, offended.

"Most likely." Hisato covers his mouth trying to hold in his laughter.

"You're an ugly dog face! You're an ugly dog face!" Yuki taunts Katsumoto until she is sure he knows she is talking about him. She blows raspberries at him. Both girls laugh at their joke.

As for Katsumoto, he streaks over to the hut and demands, "come out of there now."

"Make me mongrel." She folds her arms stubbornly from behind the barrier.

He raises his hand intending on using the whip to drag her from the hut but is repelled.

The girls lose it again, enjoying their joke. "You can't get me. What do you say to that?"

"That eventually you'll get hungry and tired and Shiori will have to go home. Have your fun Yuki." Katsumoto waltzes away, black hair whipping in the wind. "It won't last."

Yuki snarls. "He's such a jerk."

"I think he's cute." Shiori lets the barrier down while his back is turned. "You should take those to your mother."

"She can get them herself." Yuki dashes out of the hut making for the barrier that covers the village and her home.

She finds herself following the contours of the river, with no intention of going back to the house unless she is dragged there. Her juvenile mind is seething. She doesn't understand why Shiori's grandfather killed the little girl's father. Shouldn't he have been happy? Her grandmother is. Then she is curious what her Ji-sama would have thought, but she pushes that idea out of her head. Oji-san is a hanyou and her grandfather also loved a human, why would he be upset if Chichiue bonded a human and had hanyou children? It didn't make sense to her. She sighs dejected, stopping on her favorite rock where the water is the roughest. Occasionally it splashes up soaking her legs. Fish fly through the air, sometimes she catches one before it dips back in the white rapids. It so loud, she doesn't hear footsteps coming from her behind.

"It's a hanyou."

She jolts, whipping around, flexing her claws. It's a monk. He is mid-height, bald and wearing purple and brown clothing. A straw-hat hangs around his shoulders. He is accompanied by a second one. A quick sniff of air lets her know that there are more lurking in the area.

Yuki's eyes widen nervously. This is why she isn't supposed to leave the barrier by herself.

"Do we really have to Yashida. She's just a child?" the second monk asks.

"Yes." A hand covered in a deep blue cloth raises holding sky-blue beads. "Yoki is yoki. No matter the age." The other one held a long knife.

Yuki breaks out in a sweat sensing the rise in holy energy. She knows her Oba-san is powerful, this felt similar to hers and their Monk friend. She wonders for a few seconds if she will turn into a human like the night of the new moon or if she will disappear completely. It smells clean and hot. They're blocking her escape. A vortex of energy is building up over their hands. Yuki for once, is speechless. Not for the first time she wishes that she is still wearing the moonstone Chichiue had left her. She stopped wearing it when she came home. Something binds her feet, making it impossible to move. She yips in protest.

The monks speak words that made the power rise higher. She feels her skin crackling. Her feet won't obey her. When she looks down, there is a white circle of light surrounding them. She tries but can't move. "You can't escape little one," one of them says.

_Why did I leave the barrier?_ She struggles against the light trying to get free.

"Yuki!"

Relief has never felt so good. It's Hisato. He wastes no time engaging the two monks. He flies head first into one of them, knocking him into the river. The monks screams as he is washed downstream. The next he grabs by the wrist throwing him onto the ground. "Release her." He can feel the holy energy swirling, but it will take more than the power of one monk to stop Hisato.

Yuki breaths heavily but she still can't get loose.

"Mononoke!" the monk that the other one called Yashida yells at him. He shoves a hand into Hisato's middle. It lights angelic blue making Hisato wince in pain.

"Not quite." His fangs grow, his eyes tint red. His snout elongates. His nails pierce the Monk's skin, "but with more power than you have." He bites down on the Monk's shoulder until the hand pales and the circle of light around Yuki's feet disappears. Hisato throws the Monk into the trees, grabs the little girl and flies high into the sky.

"What's wrong with your face?" Yuki holds onto his shoulders with tears in her eyes. "Was he going to purify me? Ahhh!"

More Monks come from the bushes. They are led by a Miko. She raises a sword into the sky, a volley of arrows come flying at Hisato. He dodges, twisting and turning keeping his back to the points. One hits his ankle. He curses feeling the purifying power seep into his body weakening his flight.

"Hisato!" Rin screams from below the trees.

Yuki holds tight to Hisato. "Ka-san!"

"I told her to stay behind the barrier!" Hisato twirls and twists through a second volley. Twelve monks are in the trees below him. The Miko sends her own energy through the katana in her hand. It shines with a bright light that shoots into his back knocking him into the trees. He twists his body again so that he lands skidding on the forest floor on his back. He stands quickly shoving Yuki behind him.

Rin runs out from the bushes alone, her katana is lit green. She throws her whip at the advancing horde. They are surrounded, with bows drawn and pointed arrows charged with purifying power. "Get her out of here Hisato," Rin demands raising her whip in the air threateningly.

"Put it down," the Miko calls.

"GO!" Rin rushes the Miko.

Hisato curses again flying after her. Another volley of arrows comes from the Monks surrounding them. Rin breaks through several shafts before they can hit herself or Yuki. Yuki screams, nothing more than a sack of potatoes being carried by Hisato. He twists and turns flinging Rin behind him. He has more arrows in his semi-transformed body now. Three in his left leg and two in his lower back. "It will take more than that," his jagged snout barks at the Monks, "to purify me."

"Kami what's wrong with your face?" Rin asks before she is felled. A younger Monk releases an arrow that pierces Rin's left shoulder. Yuki's mother shrieks in pain and lands on her knees. "You will not have my daughter," she raises the katana gritting back the pain.

Hisato is panting on the ground trying to catch his breath. Two more arrows pierce his back.

"You're bound to a dog demon, not this one," Yashida comes forward holding up the beads. "And you aren't a full blooded yokai either," he says to Hisato.

"Ka-san?" Yuki runs to her mother. Blood drips down Rin's shoulder from the arrow that has pierced her skin.

"Yuki, they will kill you. Escape," her mother heaves in air as another volley of arrows come flying at them. "Go now!" She shoves her daughter out of the way as she slams her whip into three monks making way for Yuki to dash past them. Her heart races as she makes her way through the falling enemies and into the bushes. Behind her, her mother screams.

**Eeek...Rin has an arrow through her shoulder and Hisato...what's going to happen?**

**Next Chapter: Interlude VI coming on January 9th. **

**Please Review!**

**Story Plug:**

**Sesshomaru and Avalon- Nightbird755 I'm usually not one for OC's. But I am betaing for her and she is working very hard on this fic. I would love to see her get more reviews.**

**Kiss of Fate- kimmigirl9 okay and me. This one is a 50/50 endeavor so you see both of our writing in it. **

**Guest#1: **Gobodo-sama doesn't hate Rin. She's pragmatic, which at times is uncaring of what people's feelings are in the face of preserving one's own kind. She did ask, "what happens when Yuki leaves the barrier?" Gobodo-sama loves Rin and Sesshomaru's relationship. She isn't going to kill Rin but she is going to do what is best for her kind. LOL isn't it amazing how some races/religions do think their wants and needs outweigh others? So apropros to the times.

**Guest #2: **Yeah, Sessy's not happy with his momma right now. So Sess can't kill his mother yet. And he knows it. She would overpower him. How they were born? You mean Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru? Sorry, be a bit more specific and I can answer. So here's the thing, technically Sess/Rin and Sess/Natsuki are equal mated pairs, only Sesshomaru and Natsuki made the choice that she would be put on the back burner in honor of his bond to Rin. Which is why Kensaku is pissed.

**Mother-Fudger: **The next few chapters will explain why he doesn't. Blood-shed and conquering are a thing and yes it would solve the issue because he could take the territory...but if they are going to fight back, it makes more sense to keep more bodies alive. What happens when the good of the many outweigh the needs of the few?


	17. Interlude V-Before

**Thank you for the lovely reviews. I am so excited this got nominated best Angst! I'll update with the voting period for Feudal Connection on Tumblr once it's listed. I think it might be the end of January-Feb 15th but I'm not sure.**

****Announcement*** I try to do 2 chapters a week but school is starting again on Monday. I'm taking 2 classes and I don't know the work-load yet to gauge how much posting I will be able to do. So there may be delays. You can follow me on twitter or tumblr for updates if you aren't on FFN as a member. **

**Interlude V**

Of course there were other things she didn't think about being in dog form most of the time. Simple things like being dragged to animal doctors and them demanding that she get shots in her ass. At night she used the family computer while everyone slept and learned enough to know that the injections wouldn't hurt her. She allowed them to happen. How else was she to prove she was a 'good dog'?

She was also forced to attend classes with Nina that taught both of them how to communicate with each other. The highlight was when another dog decided to mount her backside. She was desperate to lose her virginity but not to a boxer with ugly speckles on his nose. Taka let loose on the offending humper and slammed him into the ground. _Ewww…_

Nina was enrolled by her social worker into Lighthouse for the Deaf and Blind and eventually moved from the Fireman's house to another and then another and another placement. Her one consistent companion was Taka. She now sported a fancy bright pink harness with the emblem of "Service Dog" on it. She led Nina to and from her classes. She watched intently as Nina was taught first to finger sign and then Tadoma. Tadoma involve Nina placing her fingers delicately on the jaws and lips of the speaker and learning to recognize the movements as words. Her mind was blown when she began to understand that the things she touched had names.

Taka gazed on in awe as her little girl began to see the world through her fingers. She liked coarse things the best. Scarred emblems, pens and pencils, sand, and 3D maps. The child was insatiably curious about the world around her. On the schoolyard, Nina would take her shoes and socks off and run around barefoot with Nina jogging next to her to keep her from running into the slides and swings. Just because they were blind and deaf, didn't mean they couldn't learn to fly. It was fall, Nina stepped on a crunchy orange leaf. She dropped to her knees and made a pile of the foliage in her lap. With each one, she ran her fingers up the spines as if she were caressing a lover. _Leaf, _she signed to Taka. _Red like his eyes. Purple like his stripes. Hair like snow. _

For the first few years Nina refused to try to learn to speak. It wasn't until she was twelve and placed with the Richmond's who lived in a middle-class neighborhood in a house with an open layout that Nina started coming into her own.

The Richmond's were already fostering two other girls, one a teenager named Linda and a little girl named Rosa who was ten. Linda and Rosa were both deaf. The Richmond's had a son who was grown and in college who had also been deaf and despite having a cochlear they had made sure that he learned ASL and educated himself. After Nina had been with them for eight months she tried to say her first word. She pointed at her furry companion and said, "Loooo," and after another year of speech therapy, the white dog that followed her around finally had a name, "Lucy."

Taka did her part to make sure that Nina's needs were cared for. She had always been gifted at embroidery. She began making her designs in the middle of the night when the house was silent and everyone slept. She kept them hidden in a box in the back of the closet in Nina's room where the parents never looked. She opened her own Etsy account and sold her designs. She took care of mailing the items when no one would notice her missing and was rather surprised at how quickly her store took off.

Nina had also learned to type. Taka purchased her a MacBook for her twelfth birthday. It was left as a present at the school front desk. The demoness left it at the administration office of the school and said it was from a kind neighbor who wanted to make sure the girl got the best of everything she needed. Nina lit up and began learning to type at school. Eventually the typing became stories and one night after Nina nearly got herself grounded for refusing to go to bed Taka snuck onto the computer to see what the girl was writing.

_She was a bright little girl, with big brown eyes. Her hair was matted around the side. She wasn't always like this. She lived in a small village that kept fish in a pond so that everyone could take what they needed to eat. There were fields that grew vegetables and trees that grew fruit. _

_ Then one day, night robbers came and killed her family. She was only seven and so alone. She spent her days foraging in the forest because the villagers didn't want her to eat their food. She lived in a hut on the edge of the woods by herself. _

_ One day she went into the forest to find food. She was cold and hungry. She found a man on the ground. His hair was white. His stripes were purple. He was hurt and covered in his own blood. He rest on a big fluffy pillow, just like Lucy's fur. His eyes turned red trying to scare her away. She wasn't scared. She brought him food. He didn't want it. He was rude. At first he didn't speak except to tell her to stop bothering him, because he didn't eat human food. _

_ She thought maybe he was a god in disguise and if she fed him, he would bless her. But then when he said he wouldn't eat anything she brought her, she decided to try fish. But she was beaten for it. She came to him with bruises and he wanted to know who had hurt her. She didn't like talking. He said it was okay and she smiled, because it was finally okay to be herself._

Taka balked. She had been told the story by Taiyomaru. Taiyomaru was the only one of Rin's children that tolerated her. Yuki had never spoken more than a few words to her in centuries and Harutoga never said anything unless he had to. Her father had met Rin in the forest when she was a little girl and tried to help him after he was injured. _She knows him. _She covered her mouth and for the millionth time she stood clutching the house phone wondering whether or not to call her father and tell him where she was and that she had found his human lover. It always ended the same way, she set the phone back down. She couldn't hurt her mother. _Would it really hurt Haha-ue? She doesn't love him…_

Everything seemed to be settling down for Nina until the week after her thirteenth birthday. The family had taken her to her favorite restaurant to eat steak and fries and then spent a long day at the zoo. Nina liked the smells and the petting zoo. The next morning Nina was scheduled to have a cochlear implant, something she was both nervous and excited about. She sat in her bed with her foster mother, signing into the woman's palm, _I can't sleep._

Nina had learned to read lips with her palms, or to take in entire sentences from tactile finger spelling. The girl raised her hands to her foster mother's jawline, "you'll be fine."

_Does it hurt? _She spelled into the woman's hand.

"You'll be a bit sore afterwards. But then you'll be able to hear. You know there's no operation to fix your eyes. The doctors said they came from burns. Probably a house fire."

Nina shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't remember ever being able to see. The memories of vision weren't there. But other things were constantly in her dreams. A divine being with silver hair who traveled into the afterlife to find her. Another time he brought her presents, but the dreams…the last one she had an old woman accosted her for not getting married. She ran away and when he found her and held her to keep her warm that night, it made her heart flutter. She woke up in the middle of the night with goosebumps.

"Go to sleep," her foster-mother told her.

Taka jumped onto the bed with the girl and they rest together. At night Nina finger spelled into Lucy's paw. Taka had been with her long enough she knew what the girl was saying. _Do you think he's real? The one I dream about all the time? I dreamt that we were in the forest together. He was warm and then my heart started racing and I wanted to kiss him. I bet no one will ever kiss me. Don't tell anyone._

_ And who would I tell? _Taka chuckled as the girl continued on.

_I had another. I dreamed of about this scary thing with tentacles attacking him. But he won. He always wins. Whoever he is, he's very powerful. Why don't I ever dream his name? You know what's weird? He has this green thingy that follows him around like a lost puppy dog. I think the green thing is in love with him. I'm going to write the whole story someday. Goodnight Lucy._

Taka nuzzled the girl's nose and licked her cheek.

_His eyes are like yours, _Nina told her.

Taka puffed air on the girl's neck and then bolted upright. Something hit her senses, something strong. It was dull a smell she knew well from when her father would seize and throw up blood. Taka changed into her human form, flicking the light on, the bedsheets were covered. "Oh my god," Taka covered her mouth.

She grabbed a towel and pushed it against Nina's nose. Blood gushed from the tiny button. Nina choked on it crying. The demoness changed back to her dog form and stood by the door barking. She yipped over and over until Mrs. Richmond came running. "What is it Lucy?" The dog was rewarded with a quick pat on her head. "Oh my god!" She screamed running over to Nina. She pressed the cloth tighter against the child's nose. "Tyler! Tyler!" she yelled.

The father came running, half dressed in just his pajama bottoms. "I'll call an ambulance"

Nina's skin was pasty white, her head lolled and then rolled into the back of her head. _How did I miss it? _Taka could do nothing but sit and watch. If she changed she would scare the daylights out of them. The blood wasn't stopping, the entire top of the bed was soaked. Nina was unconscious and her foster parents terrified.

_"Chichiue how can you tell if someone is sick?" She once asked him._

_ "The smell is in their blood. It smells sick, but there are different kinds. Leukemia smells like propyl and mistletoe but each strain has its own unique smell." He picked up two vials of blood and asked, "which one do you think has leukemia."_

_ She brought them both to her nose and pointed to one that had more of a bitter smell. _

_ "Good," congratulated her._

_ No…no…no…_She ran circles around their feet.

**Please review! AHHH another cliffhanger!**

**Coming on January 13th, Rin-Past III**

**Story plug for this chapter...Hearts Abduction - Lemonlush AU Inu/Kag amazing~~~ Nominated best AU**

**Mother Fudger: **First off I love the name you chose for yourself. It makes me giggle. It's an idea for him to challenge Kensaku but as the story progresses you'll see that there may not be time to even think of something like that. Something will give somewhere and is it in fighting amongst ourselves or fighting to survive? And not everything can revolve around Rin.

**Morality: **Very good question...you'll have to read more to find out if she will show favoritism to her pure-blooded grand-children. So Gobodo-sama is pragmatic not mean, although it comes across that way. She loves Rin but she is a ruler and her idea of balance between the two doesn't matter who it hurts. Has nothing to do with Rin's humanity, she wants to save her kind and to hell with who it hurts.

**Reaper 007: **It is an idea that because she can't return the bond it means they aren't meant to be, but as it said in Instinct, bond or no bond they were in love. It's why he couldn't let her go once it broke and why she went back to him.

**Guesswho: **Thank you! I was so excited to see it. The Big Spoof and Instinct got nominated last quarter and I would love to see the Disease win this time. Yep finally time to bring the big bad Monks in. Did you recognize the name of the monk yet?

**Consistentguest: **There you are! I was wondering if I lost you because I hadn't seen a review in sooo long. Yeah confession I love writing Yuki and she is such a brat and I love how she interacts with Katsumoto and hates him.

**Luin-fanel- **Your review came through just as I was wrapping up getting this posted. I hope Shiori can knock some sense into that child too. Or maybe Katsumoto because as you said, he is pretty much being her nanny, isn't scared of her and seems to take pleasure in trying to tame her. Happy new year and thank you for the good wishes!


	18. Rin-past III

**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! On the plus side I got my two chapters edited this week. On the downside I have a lot of homework.**

**Voting on Feudal connection takes place from Jan 29-Feb 12. So please remember to drop by during that time and vote for the Disease :) Under BEST ANGST!**

**Rin-past**

She breaths heavily. Her shoulder stings. The shaft of the arrow went completely through her left scapula. The feathered end of the arrow sticks out of her front, marring her usually smooth movements.

She's managed to stop the next volley by taking the monks out by their feet with the bright green whip that comes from her katana. The Miko is rushing her with a hand extended. The reiki is rising against the raised fingers and Rin can't help but wonder, what will she do when the power of her katana is sealed. There are too many of them for her to take in hand to hand combat. Hisato is running on all fours like a wild animal, it's as if his mind has become as rogue as his body has. He's bit into the neck of one of the monks, throwing his windpipe in the grass, bathing in the blood of his enemies.

The rabid dog-demon grabs her around the waist and attempts to lift her in the air but the purifying power in the arrows is holding him back. The priestess's katana clashes into Hisato's shoulder. Rin kicks free and engages. She raises her sword that is immediately vanquished by the reiki. Rin throws it aside and trips the Miko, sweeping her feet out from beneath her. She lands on top of the Miko and painfully, brings the woman to stand, despite the burn in her shoulder, she holds her neck firmly. "Back off, or I'll break her neck," she threatens the advancing monks.

"You are a defiler," one of the monks hums as he walks forward. "Let her go."

The Miko grasps the arrow in Rin's shoulder, yanking it down.

Rin cries in pain as her body is jarred by the pressure, but refuses to let go. "She will die." Black specks form in her vision. She shakes her her head to clear her vision. Loss of consciousness will not help now.

"Can you kill one of your own kind?" The Miko taunts her.

"We need to leave Rin-sama," Hisato stands back to back with Rin, as close as the arrows poking out of his back allow.

"Yuki?" She digs her nails into the chin of the Miko.

"Her scent is distant. She's safe," Hisato says coughing.

"Are you going to make it?"

"I can't fly. We need to break their ranks," Hisato whispers.

"Pathetic," the Miko laughs.

Rin twists the Miko's neck until the first bone pops making the dark haired Miko's eyes bulge as she gasps for air. "Let us go, or I'll kill this one."

"You're outnumbered, give us the yokai, let us purify your connection to the dog-demon and you will live," the head monk tells her.

"Rin-sama," Hisato coughs up blood. "Go."

"No," she shakes her head, "you are my friend Hisato. I am not leaving you behind." She snaps another bone. "One more and you are dead."

"Let them go," the Miko shakes in pain, part of her body is paralyzed now unable to move. Tears flee her eyes.

The bows drop as the head monk raises his hand. "You are a tough one."

"If you come back to these lands," Rin throws the half limp Miko onto the ground. "You will die."

"Now!" The head monk yells.

The Monks raise their arrows again.

"Run!" Rin grabs Hisato's shoulder, bearing his weight she attempts to flee to the tree line where the bark will take the majority of the barrage against them.

"Let me go!" Hisato pushes her away turning to face the oncoming monks.

"Hisato no!" She screams as he throws her like a ball into the forest, she lands on her side, the pain from her shoulder blackens her world. "Hisato!" She stares in terror as a dozen arrows come flying at her guard, her confidant, her friend. 

**PLEASE REVIEW! OH PLEASE? PLEASE? What's going to happen to Hisato?**

**I'm running out of story plugs because I haven't read anything new...but for anyone interested in taking Instinct and flipping it on it's head. Pinkdragonstrike wrote a story called Feudal Affair a long time ago. And it's amazing. Rin cheats on Kohaku with Sesshomaru and drama ensues. I love all her stories.**

**Next up! Interlude VI on January 16th! Confession when I first wrote this the interludes weren't in there so in order to get things where I want them they will come faster. **

**Angel's Wing 92: **I actually don't know how many chapters there will be. The problem is I am not keeping a count because of the way this is split up. But to give you an idea of how I usually write, most of my chapters are an average of 7,000 words from Lost Memories and Instinct. These are shorter because they are POV's and I don't like that FFN doesn't give me a better way to separate them that shows up in app and on the website. So I don't know. You're just going to have to keep reading :)

**Guesswho: **So glad you are enjoying! Hurray! HAHA I think we're talking about the Monk yes? It will become clear soon. Taka and Nina are so cute. I was going to flip if at least one person didn't say how cute i was that she finger spells into Taka's paw and Taka knows what she is saying. They are an adorable duo now and yes, the end...such a cliff hanger.

**Morality: **You'll have to keep reading. I give no plot away and you'll find out later how she is getting Rin's memories :)...I'm so mean!

**Kimmigirl: **Thank you! I know it's adorable.


	19. Interlude VI-Before

**Welcome to my new reader Mechine! I got all your reviews on my other stories but with FFN disabling email notifications I don't know if you got my responses. I loved the drunk sess too. If anyone hasn't read the last Drabble, there may be a drunk Sesshomaru in there. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last few chapters.**

**All credit for APL Leukemia goes to Jodi Picoult who I am not tagging in any public post because I have too much respect for her as a writer. In My Sister's Keeper Kate has APL...it just made it so I didn't have to research. Also the idea to write present tense, changing POV's is one of her signature writing styles. **

**Interlude VI**

**Before**

Tyler and Hannah Richmond sat with the doctor in the office across the hall from Nina's room. She'd been hospitalized in the hematology/oncology ward with other children who were as sick as she was. They were able to stop the bleeding with platelets and plasma after she lost 800cc's. Taka refused to leave her side. She curled against the girl as the child ran her fingers through her white fur. For the millionth time since she began this journey, Taka stared at the phone. Her father would know how to treat the cancer but that wasn't what concerned her. On the other side of the door she could hear the foster-parents arguing.

The doctors called off her cochlear implant, the risk of hemorrhaging was now too high. She would remain deaf and blind and if it happened that she went into a permanent remission it was possible they could try again to get her a cochlear implant.

"We can't keep her," Tyler sounded insistent.

"That's not fair. She's been with us for a year," Hannah cried against her husband's chest. Taka wondered what love felt like, connection. She was hidden away from everyone and everything for three and a half centuries. She loved the little girl that clutched her fur and she knew that Nina loved her. "We would have kept her until she was eighteen, you know that!"

"What are we supposed to do? We can't afford her treatments!" his voice rose in crescendo.

For once Taka was grateful for Nina's deafness.

"Medicaid will pay for the majority of it and we can start a fund, ask for donations for her. Tyler, she just started talking. She was shipped from home to home for seven years."

"It's hundreds of thousands of dollars!" Tyler bellowed back at his wife.

Taka shook her head. This wasn't right and even she knew it. Her father could cure her in a few hours. "Mr. and Mrs. Richmond?" The doctor returned to his office.

"The good news is that Medicaid will cover some of her treatments. If we are going to act, we need to act now. Her white blood cell counts are extremely high so are the number of blasts. We can start her on chemo-therapy now but there isn't time to wait for her to have another placement. You obviously care about Nina."

"We aren't abandoning her Tyler," Hannah stood her ground.

"I can't do this Hannah," he finally broke down. "I can't watch her suffer. She isn't even ours."

"Then leave," Hannah said in tears. "Just leave. I'll help her myself."

For a while they discussed the various options for treatment and the likelihood that Nina would survive. Hannah called her sister to watch the other two children at home and then came into the room to speak to Nina. She sat down by her bedside. The girl stirred in her sleep. She was strapped to the bed with an IV in either arm. Her face was pained as she picked up Nina's hand waiting for the girl to be wake up completely. _The tests came back. _She finger spelled into Nina's hand. _You have a rare form of leukemia. It's very advanced. They're going to start chemo while you're in the hospital and afterwards, we'll try some other therapies to see what works the best._

_What about my cochlear? _Nina was trembling. Her shoulders shook. Her hands waited for the answer.

_Not now. I'm sorry. It's too dangerous. You might bleed out and it's brain surgery. I'm sorry. _

Together they cried. Taka whined by Nina's face licking her tears. The little girl covered her face with her hands while Taka licked the tips of her fingers.

_Am I going to die? _Nina asked her foster mother.

_We don't know. _The mother spelled back. She pat Nina's back while she cried, eventually falling asleep in a chair next to Nina's bed.

In the dead of night, Taka felt something against her paw. It was Nina's hand, _I hate being sick. I hate being deaf. No one likes me. Who is ever going to love me like this?_

_If you only knew little one, _she nuzzled the girl's nose and licked another tear. Nina couldn't hear her thoughts, but to Taka, they'd been sharing these private conversations for years.

_He has a special sword that brings people back to life. We went flying in the air together. I dreamt I kissed him and his lips were so soft. Why can't dreams be real? I don't want to die. He could bring me back. Why can't he be real?_

_I'm not going to let you die, _Taka panted against the girl. They allowed her to stay because she was a therapy dog and after a few tests they discovered she was hypoallergenic. Taka wasn't surprised, demons don't get sick, they don't have allergies, the only thing that can fell them is the disease that made her father so ill. That alone made her wonder how her father's tremors were. Was he still alive? Would she even know if he passed away?

As Nina fell asleep and the nurses checked her for the last time that night, Taka got off the bed and went to the hospital phone. She shifted to her human form as quietly as she could pulling a phone card out from her back pocket. She had a cellphone but she couldn't risk using it. She lifted the receiver and dialed her father's number. It rang twice before she heard, "Rinata-sama des," he didn't say more.

She couldn't speak. His voice sounded the same as it did eight years before and all of a sudden she missed her father and began to cry. Her hand covered her mouth, trying to stifle her cries.

"Is someone there?" His English was so perfect she hated it. It was tinged in a British accent he picked up from his time in the colonies in the 1800's.

She couldn't speak. She didn't know who she was supposed to protect. Was it true that her mother loved him? Taka knew that he'd been intimate with other female demons in a desperate attempt to create more of their kind. Her mother never said anything. She hung the phone up with tears falling down her own cheeks. She changed back into her dog form and curled against the little girl she wasn't able to abandon. _I won't let you die, I can't hurt Haha-ue either. What do I do? _

The chemo made her so sick she puked for days after receiving it. Taka spent those days never leaving her side. The Richmond's had to convince her to eat and she complied if only to keep them from suspecting she was more than the friendly white dog she was. After a week in the hospital Nina was released and Tyler was there waiting with their other two foster children. He apologized for being a total ass and promised to support Hannah and Nina. Together they set up a gofundme account to help cover the cost of her treatment.

When night fell, Taka took out her own hidden computer and put all the money she made from her embroidering blankets into their GoFundMe page. It wasn't much. Over time she had managed to make about $32,000 dollars. She put all of it in but a thousand so she could keep up her hidden business. She kept her materials hidden in their basement and used a sewing machine that was abandoned. Her father always said, people believe what they want. She was impressed she had never been caught in her human form.

They tried the various treatments usually used for Acute promyelocytic leukemia starting with ATRA. Nina suffered severe burns and scarring along her skin. They waited several weeks with bated breath for the results of new blood draws and were disappointed to be told that it did not have the intended effect. Her chemo treatment continued. Eventually she had a Porto Cath placed in her chest when her veins became too sclerosed from constant IVs to remain functional. Taka sat by her side as the procedure was conducted and nudged her cheeks and face as she recovered.

One night at the hospital when Nina was admitted for an infection Taka was distracted by a scent that she hadn't expected wafting off the girl in waves. _What are you dreaming about? _The dog rose onto all fours and leapt onto the bed, sniffing the girl's backside. If a dog could laugh, Taka was rolling. Nina was thoroughly aroused and moaning her sleep. She gripped the sheets in front of her and if Taka understood the EKG leads correctly, her heart-rate was slightly elevated. By the standards of the time, a fourteen year-old having sex would be considered bad form, but considering she was just dreaming about it? But then the thought hit Taka about _who _Nina was most likely having sex with. Barely a night went by since she became ill that new "memories" didn't surface and of course that thought made Taka wonder what the hell her father was doing to Nina in her sleep that was making her moan so loud and grip the bedsheets like she was holding on for her life. Even her own mother didn't make that much noise in bed.

_I need to find someone to pop my cherry, _Taka mused quietly to herself while finding a comfortable spot on the bed to lay down again. It was exhausting being in dog form most of the time. She had just found the perfect position when Nina bolted upright holding the front of her gown. She grabbed Taka's paw and started signing frantically. _I just lost my virginity…he…oh my god! We were in a hot springs! And he was naked and oh my god! His body, I would die if I saw ever someone that built. If I could see I would have something to compare him too. Are all guys this hot? Tyler's stomach is flat and fluffy, not bumpy like his. He's like…I don't know…perfect. We were talking, I think I was mad at him about something but his fingers. Do you know what he can do with his fingers?_

_Do I want to know what my father was doing with his fingers? _If only she could talk and not freak the girl out.

_He put them in me and rubbed my clit!_

Taka had to bite her own cheek or she would start rolling in laughter.

_But that's not it. Two days later we did it again, he kissed me down the front of my chest, between my breasts. My boobs were bigger in my dream. Do you think I'll get bigger boobs before I die?_

Taka couldn't help it this time, this time she did let the laughter roll off her. _I'm still waiting for mine to get bigger, _she thought.

_Anyway he started licking my va—_

_Okay, _that Taka just couldn't listen to. _He licks her vagina? _Taka sat up and started licking the sweat of Nina's face. _I will listen to whatever you tell me, except my father licking your vagina. That I draw the line…I don't even want to think of him having sex with Haha-ue! When are you going to find out that you weren't his only one? _

She resolved that she needed to try harder to find someone to have sex with. Her father had sex with many demonesses before they understood there was no way for him to get them pregnant, she just needed to find someone. But all thoughts failed as Nina's treatments continued to only offer respite and not full remission. She was on the National Donor registry for bone marrow, but APL needed an allogenic donor. She had no family anyone knew of and Taka didn't know if she could even find the girl's parents in Japan. For the billionth time as Nina sat puking over a toilet bowl crying from the pain of the treatment, looking like nothing but skin and bones Taka wanted to call her father. She was so scared she was going to do something wrong and hurt someone she loved but after the arsenic failed and all that resulted was more weight loss, vomiting and swelling, she couldn't resist any longer. Nina was fifteen she deserved more than this.

When evening fell and everyone went to sleep, Taka took out her cellphone and made the call. The phone rang and went to voicemail, "this is Yuki leave me a message."

"Yuki, it's Taka…I know we aren't close but I need help. It's an emergency, please? I can't call Chichiue, please call me back?" She hung up the phone and started to cry. Sitting down on the bed next to her little girl she stroked the girl's head and whispered, "I should have called him before it came to this."

Nina had only months left. All options had failed.

**So any guesses on how Yuki is going to react? And she was so close, Sesshomaru was on the phone! **

**Please review! REMEMBER VOTING ON TUMBLR FEUDALCONNECTION IS JAN 29- FEB 15! **

**You can now follow me on tumblr Elohiniar :)**

**Guest #1: **I made it 5 chapters in and gave up. It has a lot of what I like to extrapolation writing. He thought, she thought, maybe it was because etc…tends to cause me boredom and if I haven't said it enough I hate the abusive Sess! Like at the time that was written, it was almost expected for him to be like that but HE NEVER TREATED HER LIKE THAT IN THE SERIES! Suffice to say…didn't make it through it. Alas, I prefer a realistic Sesshomaru, one who is harsh and perhaps, short, curt, gruff, rude, abrupt but also a Rin who confronts him. This I think is one of the many reasons people went for Sess/OC on Wattpad and Sess/Kag on FFN…the idea is that he needs someone to manage him and Rin is too *sweet*...I may be a fanfiction snob. I've started reading more Inu/Kag…alas this will be my last Sess/Rin. The pairing is dying…

**Ivriel: **I agree with you! There are so few Rin stories written that have good plots. I made a tumblr post about why the Sess/Rin is dying and lack of plot and degradation of the other characters in the show play a major role. From the likes, comments and reblogs, the main issues are the way the main characters are portrayed as useless and immature, especially Inuyasha and Miroku, how Rin has no life and literally pines for years for Sess to love her and the whole immortality and pure-blooded children. It's turned a sweet pairing into something I don't even recognize anymore. Thank Goodness for this story though…

**Luin-fanelx2: **I am not beating on Nina. I'm writing a story J

And alas yes…she has Leukemia. How else was she supposed to meet Sesshomaru if Taka took her to America?


	20. Mayumi-Present II

**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! WOW what a response on that last chapter. I should be doing homework right now, instead I am doing this...but yay another chapter.**

**Just a reminder that Mayumi and Izayoi are Inu/Kag's daughters stuck in the modern era now that the well has closed permanently. They live with Sesshomaru in Gobodo-sama's castle in the sky.**

**A note about Trafficked: Because it's Au...the updates are slower, it takes more brains than I have to write it right now because of school.**

**I actually got a tumbrl account under the same username.**

**Mayumi-present**

_What's the fun of having special abilities if you aren't allowed to use them? _Mayumi kicks her sneakers back and forth while leaning forward on the bench. She doesn't have the heightened hearing that her Uncle and father have. Even Sota and Izayoi hear better than she does. She doesn't have the spiritual power that Taisho has, it's never manifested itself in her although there were times she wished it did. Especially as Ojisama comes stalking into the school. His skin is paler today, his hands in his pockets. She knows he does that to hide his claws and his shaking hands. His face is more creased than usual. He is slighter than the Uncle she left in the past and in her mind, she prefers the demon he was five hundred years before.

He spares her no glance as he enters the office. He doesn't even acknowledge her presence as he tells the secretary he is there to pick her up. The Headmaster immediately leaves his office that is lined in see through windows and brings her Uncle back and Mayumi wishes she could hear what they are saying. The headmaster takes out a thick file folder. She cringes. She had hoped to keep that file from him. "You're back?" says Kaito, a boy in her class. He's taller than her with high cheekbones and lips that she has dreamt about kissing. "Are you trying to set a record?"

She laughs, flushing red at his comment. "Having fun. What are you in for?" her tone is flirtatious and inviting.

He raises his eyebrows and leans in so close she can smell the chocolate on his lips, "stealing test answers. Tell me Higurashi, do you have plans tonight?"

"My uncle is in there right now," she points through the window as the Headmaster takes out a large file, stacked full of her infractions. Sesshomaru lowers his head into his hands and even she can see his left leg struggling to remain still. "I'll be lucky if he doesn't ground me until I'm a hundred years old." _Or kill me, _she shudders knowing what he was capable of 500 years before. She once saw him fight with her father when a horde of bear demons attacked the village. Ojisama flew between them, one and the next, silver hair flying, and when he came back his claws dripped in their blood and his eyes were so icy, she nearly ran from him.

Kaito is a bad boy which is part of what makes him so attractive. "Fuck him," he nods at her Uncle. "He looks like an albino."

Mayumi purses her lips begging in her head for Kaito to stop talking as one of her Uncle's eyes rolls back at them.

"Meet me at the mall tonight. We'll have loads of fun." Kaito is a bad boy who's been kicked out of almost every school he's been in since he was a boy. Rumor has it, his arrest record is so long it takes days to get through it, he's hot.

The door swings opens as her Uncle bows to the Headmaster. _He never used to bow to others. _"Mayumi," the way he says her name makes her flinch.

"I didn't do it," she lies, her first mistake.

Sesshomaru leans over Mayumi's shoulder his gaze fixed on Kaito, "if you so much as look at my niece again…go on look behind you." His claws dig into the metal of Kaito's chair, "the chair will be in better shape than you will be. Do you understand?"

Kaito nods, lips cracked and dry as he stands and goes to the headmaster's office.

Sesshomaru takes her by the hand as if she is a child again and forcefully leads her from the school. "I have patients and a practice to run. I do not have time for teenage girls having tantrums that are obviously lying through their teeth. I can smell the chemicals on your hands." He yanks her across the street with more force than necessary.

"You're a coward," she lets her blades loose on the hand holding her.

He laughs lifting up the unmarked flesh. Her yoki is no match for his. He pulls her into an alley and looms over her, crossing his arms and demands, "Do you wish to tell me why you have chosen to behave like this?"

"Like you care," she attempts to elbow passed him only to get pushed against the wall again. She looks anywhere but his face, pushing back embarrassed tears. It's more fun to break the rules when you don't get caught.

"If I didn't care, I would have left you with your grandmother for the next ten years." He pulls her back onto the busy sidewalk and shakes out one of his legs.

"Why did I have to go with you if you're just going to die anyway!" she screams at him. "You're a coward! You're weak! The Ojisama I knew would never act like you, love sick pathetic jerk!"

Tears stop her from seeing the oncoming traffic. Getting hit by a car was not what she had in mind until she feels arms around her waist and is cradled in the warmth of his chest. But it's too late. The car rams Sesshomaru in the back. He's shaking, she can feel the trunk of his body shivering and hear the rasping of his breath. The car bunches around his side.

He shakes it off wincing at the pain. She knows she's in even more trouble as he apologizes and pacifies the driver of the car and ensures them that he is fine. He refuses to stay for medical care and leads her to his office. "You can work on the files today."

"You just got hit by a car." She wipes the tears that are finally falling from her eyes. She can't tell if he's been injured.

"Because you acted like a spoiled brat and ran in front of it. If you are trying to kill yourself at least do me a favor and do it correctly. Do not expect me to save you from your own stupidity." He pushes her through the door of his office, making polite small talk to the patient who is with her family. She's young and the woman with her definitely doesn't look Japanese. "Why does she have a dog in your office? Ow!" Mayumi rubs the back of her head.

"Manners," Sesshomaru reminds her tersely.

"Like you had any 500 years ago. To-san should have cut off both of your arms," she groans when she is dragged into his office by the arm like she is a little girl.

"When you are in this office, you will respect me."

"Or what? You'll spank me?"

He raises his claws in the air and his whip forms, flying in circles around the room and cracks next to her ear so loud it makes her flinch and she can feel the sting of its energy. "It worked on Yuki, sadly you don't have enough yoki to heal yourself if I chose to."

"That's child abuse."

"Who will you call Mayumi? What authorities will fly to my home in the sky and rescue you? I control the demon foster care system, I control the demon legal system, who would rescue you?"

"I hate you," she turns away from him.

"I'm flattered. I have a procedure now." He kicks the door open with his heel and hands her off to her sister. "Izayoi, your sister will arrange the files in order by year. When she is done, you will begin to load the information onto the computer system. Now." He leaves through the door to the procedure room where his colleagues wait for him.

Mayumi tries to cover her face as Izayoi pulls her into the backroom where the files line the walls like monoliths. "What were you thinking? If you use your blades and someone finds out about us!"

"It was five hundred years ago Izayoi! You're a myth now! I'm not! I look human, why can't I live in this world?"

"Because…it could happen again. What do you think they would do if they knew Ojisama was a demon, not a human? What about me? It would be a freak show. Why can't you think about someone else besides yourself?"

"That's what he did?" Mayumi scoffs, "I hate it here. I want to go home."

"We don't have a home anymore," Izayoi leans against one of the file cabinets. "The monks saw to that."

"Yeah, well I still look human and I don't care. I could be a super hero."

"Or a lab rat," the older sister shoots back. "Stop pushing him."

"Why? Will he die faster?" She says sarcastically, then stops seeing the look on her sister's face. Izayoi's face falls and she cries into her hands. "How long?"

"Soon…he won't say how long. He's already made arrangements with Natsuki and his children to care for us. He doesn't have that long anymore."

**Is Mayumi being a butthead or what? **

**Please review ya'll! Keeps me going! **

**Coming on January 23rd: Interlude VIII Last of the Interludes. **

**Mechine: **I know, I get bored reading all fluff and can't write it. I'm tempted to write an all fluff story, but I literally cannot. Originally if I wrote a reincarnation story it was going to be that way, but I couldn't think of what to write. Nina doesn't have the heartbreaking memories yet and yes OMG I would not want to hear about what my dad was doing in bed either!

**Angel-sama:** I know it was so close! Poor Taka is trapped between her two parents and not wanting to hurt either one of them. I get it on the taking forever to update. I've noticed that too and no longer read unfinished SXR stories. I will definitely check out those stories. The chapters are shorter because of the POV's. Fairly I could have put more into one chapter itself but I like it better this way for the sake of Cliff-hangers!

**Guest #1: **So...I have started the Avatar ones. Trudy's One Night Stand will be a few chapters. I wrote a Star Wars one for fun. I'm working on adding original work to my Wattpad account which you can find under the same username. Really I want to write a publishable original. I may write a Law and Order SVU work and I started a Sess/Kag for fun! Really I want to focus on originals once school is done and back away from fanfiction, so please follow me on tumblr or twitter for updates.

**Gina: **You are so very welcome. Most weeks you will see two chapters get posted.

**Luin-Fanel: **Thank you so much for reviewing every chapter! It warms my heart and makes me soo happy! Yes how else was I to force Taka to take her back?

**Guesswho: **Was it all sad? I thought Taka being offended by her father's sex dreams was hilarious. We shall see how things move!

**Morality: **This whole story is ironic because everyone is sick. What makes you think she's going to die?


	21. Interlude VII-Present

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Voting on Feudalconnection takes place in 6 days! I'm so excited!**

**I started a fluff piece called Fire and Ice...please read and review! I promise to make it fluffy...or at least try.**

**Interlude VII-Present**

"You did what!?" Yuki screams into the phone at Taka.

The younger demoness holds the phone away from her ear. She sits in the basement during the middle of the night, talking to her older half-sister. "Look what was I supposed to do? I know it was wrong, but Tsukimaru didn't give me a chance to think!"

"Since when do you think about anyone but yourself?"

"I don't deserve that and you know it! You know damn well Chichiue and Haha-ue kept me locked in that castle for three and a half centuries telling me what to think and believe and you never even gave me the time of day!"

"Because you didn't deserve it, you conniving, manipulative-"

"Yuki!" She slams the phone against a nearby table cracking the screen, "I…help me save her, please?"

"You took someone who you think has the soul of my dead mother and travelled to the United States, does it even bother you how much pain you caused Chichiue?" Yuki rebukes her over the phone.

"Yes," Taka says quickly, "look…I messed up okay. I messed up badly. I'm not making excuses but she needs Chichiue. She's sick."

"So take her to a doctor-"

"It's APL, leukemia. They tried all the treatments, she fell into the ten percent that can't be treated."

"You can't play with his heart like this Taka," there is shuffling on the other end of the phone. "You don't even know for sure it's her."

"How is he?" Taka inquires both of her father and of Katsumoto.

"Chichiue's tremors are worse. He can barely get through a few hours without needing an injection. I'm coming Katsumoto," she calls to her lover.

"Yuki, please. She has Leukemia. They can't heal it. Would you know if it was your mother?"

"I don't know," Yuki is suddenly subdued. "I need to go. Katsumoto needs me."

"Yuki, I'm begging you please. Get me an appointment in his office as soon as you can."

"You know it doesn't work like that. He has to do all those preliminary tests to make sure the patient is well enough to survive the treatment."

"I know a CBC and a blast count and then they have to not have been sick or had fevers before. I know, Yuki…I've never lied to you. You have to know I'm desperate if I called you. I know how you feel about me. How I was conceived," Taka whispers and wiped her eyes, "I sent you a picture."

"Kami," Yuki whispers, "she looks just like Ka-san. This doesn't prove anything," she says stubbornly.

"She has her memories."

"Stop it Taka."

"He found her in the forest when she was eight."

"She found him and everyone knows that."

"They fell in love when she was sixteen but he was stubborn about it until she was seventeen. Right after she faced some snake demons."

"Everyone talks about that story!"

"Ugh!" Taka screams into the phone. "Okay…you want something no one else would know? Fine…you got lost after Harutoga was born. You were mad that he was a boy and you ran away from home. You fell into the river and hit your head. You woke up in a village alone and Inuyasha came to get you, because Chichiue insisted you would have gone up river. He wouldn't believe that you would have gotten hurt. The village wouldn't give you up until Chichiue came because they knew who you belonged to and Chichiue refused to say his brother found you and not him!"

"How do you know that? Ka-san didn't know that."

"Inuyasha told his wife who told your mother, Yuki. She has her memories. Chichiue was too proud to admit that Inuyasha found you and not him. It's her! Please Aniue," Taka uses the epitaph of 'big sister' in the hopes it will convince Yuki, "make up a story. Use the American Make a Wish Foundation. If I don't get her there in the next six weeks she'll be dead. I'll pay for her ticket…I'll…"

"Shut-up Taka," Yuki's voice changes, "look I'll call Taiyomaru and Harutoga and have them claim to be part of this Make a Wish Foundation thing. We'll pool the money to bring you here. Don't say anything to Chichiue. He'll know if it's her. I have to go."

"Bye," she exhales and falls to the floor on her knees. _How do I keep her alive until she sees Chichiue? _She closes her eyes thinking then runs up the stairs and takes a cup from the kitchen. She slits her wrist and allows her blood to drip down the side of the glass. It's risky and no the complete treatment, but if it gives Nina the strength to live, that is all that matters.

**Oh Please Review! Please Review! Yuki agreed to help! If you want me to write the drabble for Yuki getting lost after Harutoga was born let me know.**

**Story Plug: Fire and Ice by Elohiniar...guys I am trying to write a fluff story and you know how far out of my comfort zone that is. So please go check it out and let me know what you think. Guys for that story I need Inu/Kag details. I need jobs, kids, how many, gender, Inu is 24 and Kags is around the same age. Review on that story and make your suggestions.**

**Coming next on January 28th Sesshomaru-Present III**

**Moraity: **So I hope the explanation of timelines helped. The Interludes were before the present timeline but now the two have merged so Mayumi and Izayoi have 9.5 years left with their Uncle and he won't relinquish them so easily.

**Mechine: **Thank you for the reviews! You are going to have to keep reading to find out what will happen with these two. Nina is her own person which is something that I wanted from the start because she may have Rin's memory but she is not Rin.

**Gina:** Sesshomaru definitely is in danger of dying.

**Luin-Fanel: **Mayumi is a butthead but it's mostly because she is hurting. Hope this chapter explained it for you!


	22. Sesshomaru-Present III

**Welcome to our new reader Harukasempai14! Who left me 21 reviews! I'm giddy. Like you are amazing!**

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**Sesshomaru-present**

The procedure is simple. It's the after effects that are dangerous. His blood has become too degraded from transfusions from Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru to use any longer that he now takes donations from his pure-blooded son. The results are the same. The majority of Leukemic cells are overwhelmed by the demonic cells and after a period of intense fever and muscle pain the patient is cured. The donors from the specific family of course want to stay anonymous and an agreement is in place with his colleagues that protects him from them finding the vast components that make the blood so different.

He peruses the checklist as he sits on the white stretcher in the procedure room with one leg cocked. He leans over the computer table, no fever, low blood pressure which is expected because of the effect leukemia has on platelet function, no recent illnesses. It's the name that catches his eye. "Nina Hawthorne?" he questions his colleagues.

There are two other doctors in his office that assist during procedures. One is an attending the other is a resident. Yoshi is an upstart in his mid-twenties and Haruto Yamamoto has worked with him for ten years. "We're treating Americans now?" Most of their patients come from Japan and China and other Asian countries and very rarely does he approve cases farther than that because he needs to monitor them for at least six months afterwards.

Haruto glances up. "She was a charity case. She's from San Francisco. Her leukemia is terminal, she's blind and deaf. Besides publishing a book, her one wish is to be cured. The American Make a Wish foundation sent her here. You approved her case yourself? You don't remember? Her foster parents contacted you."

Things are getting foggy. He shakes his head. As he does, he realizes that it's not just under his own power that his head is shaking, the rest of his body is going into a series of tremors. His legs start first, then his fingers until he can no longer control the mouse and it bounces around the screen.

"Are you alright Rinata-sama?" Yoshi asks him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He tries to speak but can't. The seizure has traveled to the nerves in his mouth making his teeth chatter. He tests his feet, they still work. He leaves the room and quickly alights back to his office. He makes for his desk, the gaudy big brown thing he bought for extra drawers that lock. His fingers fumble on the key, covered in sweat, struggling to turn the lock. In moments, he knows he will be on the ground seizing at the mercy of whoever finds him.

"I'll get them." Mayumi drops the files in her hands and dashes to his aid. She pulls open the drawer and removes the vial. Even she knows in emergencies how to administer the injections that maintain his health. Worry fills her eyes as she measures the liquid.

He raises two fingers, hoping she understands that it's bad this time and he needs a double dose.

"Rinata-sama?" Yoshi followed him and sees Mayumi with the needle.

The girl is mute as she finishes measuring it, guiltily holding up a needle near her uncle's neck as he leans over his desk unable to speak.

"What is this?" He tries to take the needle from Mayumi but the child backs away and Sesshomaru begs her mentally not to unleash her blades.

Izayoi runs in behind Yoshi. "He's epileptic," something else he trained his older niece to say. She grabs the needle from Mayumi's trembling fingers. "Can you sit down?"

It's spreading to his trunk, his back aches from the strength it takes to stop his muscles from convulsing. He grips the thick edges to steady himself. He shakes his head, if he moves the tremors will overtake him.

"I need a vein," Izayoi pulls the cuffs of his black pants up around the ankles. She curses the state of his veins. In this position, it won't be an easy stick.

He can't speak. His lips are paralyzed. _The neck._ He thinks desperately. _Just go for the neck. _

"Can you get a vein in the neck?" Izayoi begs Yoshi, her fingers are too soaked in sweat to do it herself.

Haruto comes in with his own look of concern. He's an older man with scruffy salt and pepper hair. Sesshomaru groans fighting back the tremors.

"Should I call Tsukimaru?" Mayumi asks trying to get around the people surrounding him.

"Not if this works," Izayoi calls her sister off.

"What's wrong Rinata-sama?" Haruto touches his hand.

"He's epileptic," Yoshi supplies.

"This doesn't look like seizure medicine," Haruto takes the needle from Izayoi.

"Just get it in one of his veins before he collapses!" Mayumi yells at them. Sesshomaru is grateful for her zest.

He is a slave to his body, the dastardly thing that wants to give out on him. He coughs up mucous, the first sign that soon he'll be bed-ridden and immobile like his son in law.

Haruto is much more experienced than his niece at finding veins. He pulls back the silver hair by Sesshomaru's ear, the strands slide along the pointed tip. Sesshomaru gags on the building mucous. His stomach roils, he knows this feeling. If it's not stopped he'll be hemorrhaging soon. Haruto pushes the needle into the vein in his neck. Relief comes quickly as the burning liquid enters his blood stream. He breaths easier, visibly catching his breath. He rubs his throat and spits out the rest of the yellow goo that accumulated in his throat choking as he does. He wipes his mouth on a sleeve and goes to the sink washing his hands and mouth.

"How long has he been sick?" Haruto asks the girls.

"A long time," Sesshomaru wipes his mouth and leaves the room. The procedure takes precedence. He doesn't have time for this.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Haruto asks him as they enter the hallway, "you look paler than usual."

"Can the girl communicate?" Sesshomaru asks avoiding a reality he isn't ready for.

"She uses a computer program, she types and it speaks for her," Yoshi is following behind them like a lost puppy.

"How does she hear what we say? Fifteen is old enough to give consent and refuse," he stops before they exit the door to the waiting area. Izayoi squeezes past them to get to her desk at the front.

"She uses Tadoma," Yoshi explains. "It's really fascinating. I would recommend though that you speak to her. Your English is better than ours. We speak with an accent, she was having a hard time understanding the nurses. Her foster mother had to interpret for her."

"Okay," he says as he finally pushes the door to the waiting room open. He adjusts his stethoscope and takes a deep breath. His body can't handle much more of this. His nervous system is still on fire. He opens the door and nearly loses his lunch as he sees the girl sitting next to an obviously American, white, brown haired, blue eyed foster mother and then a scent that he hasn't smelled in three and a half centuries blasts into his senses._ Morning dew…_his breath catches, the way it used to when he would land at the entrance of their home and she would be waiting for him. He came laden with gifts for his children, but she was his first stop, and then he would drink in the taste of her lips, his claws ran through her hair and after the debacle with Touma he would take her back to their bedroom after greeting his children and he would make love to her. _ I would know your soul. Rin…_

The teenager has short black hair that is tied into a pony tail. Her eyes are colorless, almost completely white. Scars surround her eyes. Her cheek bones are high, her face almond shaped. He scrubs his eyes, unable to breathe, wondering if hallucinating is a new symptom. _Rin…_Then by her feet, laying on the floor, he sees a white dog with thick fur. The eyes catch him as odd, he knows exactly who is sitting by her feet. He would know those red eyes and that nose anywhere. He closes the distance not sure who he is happier to see, his long lost lover or his daughter who has been missing for so long. The dog's face perks up. It gulps and licks its' lips radiating fear. He kneels down lifting her face.

"Please don't pet her, she's a service dog," the foster mother asks.

_You are in so much trouble little one, _he knows the dog understands him. She licks her lips and nods her head as he strokes her head. The dog nuzzles his hand. "Forgive me," he says in English, forcing the cramping in his stomach to stop as he looks at the girl in the seat. She looks every bit of what Rin did at fifteen, except the hair and the scarring around her eyes. "What happened to her eyes?" He's seen it before in rural patients when he was doing his residency.

"We don't know," the woman stands up and offers her hand. "She was like this when she came to us."

His hands are clammy as he shakes hers. He take out his pocket light and flashes it around the eyes, holding her head still. His fingers feel friction, electricity touching her. He licks his lips, pushing back the feeling. "She's of Japanese descent?"

"She doesn't have much of a history. She was found alone when she was they think around five years old in a firehouse in San Francisco. The dog was with her. She went through a few homes. You can imagine the kind of care a child like this takes. She's been with us since she was twelve. But when she was thirteen…" she covers her mouth obviously overcome with emotions. "I'm Hannah, you speak English very well."

He chuckles to himself, laughing at his own joke. _That's because I lived there for nearly a century…_ "I've had a lot of practice. She will need to come back alone." He wants to speak to her without an audience. Does she know him? He flips through the chart. "Two years ago she suffered her first hemorrhage? APL typically is resistant to treatment and you've been unable to locate a bone marrow donor for her? ATRA and Arsenic both failed?"

"Yes," the brown haired woman answers.

_You should have brought her to me sooner! _He seethes at the dog cowering by the girl's feet. "She can come back now. You'll need to wait out here," he dismisses her casually.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that," Hannah interjects quickly.

"The dog may come." He stares at the white haired pup who looks like she is on the verge of wetting herself.

"Her name is Lucy," Hannah says.

"Well then Lucy," he glares at her, "bring Nina into the procedure room." He touches the blind girl's shoulder. She takes his hand while holding the harness to the dog.

Hannah raises Nina's hands to her mouth and jaw, "they're going to take you back now. Do you want me to come?"

Nina shrugs her shoulders. She picks up her computer bag and follows them, one hand grips Sesshomaru's wrist as they walk together into the procedure room. It has one bed and multiple IV's ready on a tray table. They'll need to keep her hydrated, although he can already tell that the veins in her legs and arms are shot.

He leads her to the bed and helps her sit down. He notices a protrusion at the top of her pink blouse. He pulls her hands to his face the way he saw the mother do it. Tadoma is used in deaf-blind patients to help them communicate. It allows them to feel the movements of the jaws and lips to communicate. _Rin, _is all he can think when her fingers touch his face, the way she would trace his stripes, the days she would hold his face in her hands, kissing his moon, his nose and then his lips. _Are you in there my heart?_

The dog begins barking, shaking him out of his thoughts.

Sesshomaru can smell it before it begins. The girl's nose bleeds. The blood spills from her nostrils. He curses immediately compressing the damn organ. "Gauze," he yells at the nurse who stands nearby. "Get the treatment ready," he says to the other two doctor's. He helps the girl sit on the bed. Her hands shake against his wrist, becoming slippery along his skin. He pulls one of her hands to his the mouth, the other to his jaw line. "We're going to place an IV. The treatment will begin soon. Do you understand what I am saying?"

She nods her head and points to the protrusion on her shirt. His thumb and forefinger pull down the thin material over a gaunt shoulder. "She has a porta cath. We'll use it to deliver the medicine. She needs platelets."

"You have acute promyelocytic leukemia? A rarity," he says attempting a comforting voice as he takes the gauze from his nurses. He wads them into balls and stuffs them into her nostrils to staunch the flow. Her lap and his are now covered in a crimson tide.

She coughs trying to clear her throat. She slaps her hand against her thigh, her fingers move up and down as if she is playing a piano. The dog rummages in her bag and hits the computer with her muzzle.

He removes the computer opening it for her. There is something fascinating about watching a deaf and blind person navigate a computer system. She opens the program by pressing the corner of the screen. She types in quickly, _I'm going to die._ The voice is monotone not expressing the fear the child is feeling.

He takes her hands, moving them back to his mouth and jawline, "not today."

She shakes her head with tears. She turns back to the computer, _will it hurt?_

"It won't feel good," he tries to ignore the sensation her fingers are causing on his skin. "The nurses will place another IV line to make sure you stay hydrated. It takes six hours for the medicine to be administered. You'll experience a very high fever and some muscle pain. Eventually you'll lose consciousness and when you wake the leukemia will be gone."

She nods her head again then types, _thank you._

"Thank me when…" _not again…not again…_ he begs his body, he pleads with it, not now…but it doesn't listen. The dog is barking, his body is convulsing. He falls to the floor, slamming his head against the linoleum as blood pours from his mouth. Then the world goes dark.

**Please review ya'll! You make me freaking giddy and I love it! **

**Coming Next: Rin-Past IV January 31! The arrows coming at Hisato is she going to lose her guard?**

**Story Plug: Sessomaru and Avalon written by Nightbird755 :) Beta by me. It's awesome guys.**

**Since Harukasempai14 write me soo many reviews I'm going to start with those first!**

**Ch. 21 **Natsuki is annoying! I agree with you that her expectations are unfair considering how she introduced herself. Yuki and Harutoga definitely have anger towards the other two because of what was done to their parents, not particularly their mother because remember Yuki sided with her father. They're pissed because of what was done to their family like you said. The pure-blooded children is a bit complex to explain. If everyone is dead, he is attempting to bring back his kind which he can't do if he isn't with other pure-bloods and his children understand that. Yuki is definitely pissed that he went back to Natsuki so quickly, but she also needed him. Another concept we shall explore in this story is like it or not Natsuki is also one of Sess's wives and he does have a basic responsibility to her.

**Ch. 2. **Yeah I know Tsuki is a butthead like seriously? Rin helps him into this world and he runs off with her reincarnation?

**Ch. 3 **You are just gonna have to read to find out LOL...

**Ch. 4. **You basically nailed it. Their issues with their siblings isn't about who is pureblooded and who isn't, it's about what happened to their family.

**Ch. 5. **You nailed it again! How in the world could Sesshomaru love Natsuki after what she did? I mean there is a possibility had they met after Rin's death but she messed that up by approaching him when she did.

**Ch. 6. **Oh we shall see what will happen with Tsukimaru and I also love that Natsuki grew. Writing her was so much fun because she was so awful but then she helped save Rin.

**Ch. 7. **I think it explains it in this chapter what happened to her eyes and if not her eyes are explained in depth later on in the story. So glad I could suck you in. We'll see what happens with Taka/Yuki/Katsumoto. If anything did, it would not be for love. Katsumoto and Taka aren't fated to be together.

**Ch. 8. **Sess/Natsuki bond is not stronger, but different than the Sess/Rin bond. The main difference is time and there are things Natsuki can do for him that Rin can't, like heal him...or keep him alive.

**Ch. 9. **I know, I feel so pad for Kagome and Inuyasha because they miss their daughter's it's not fair.

**Ch. 10. **Taka is adorable. I freaking love her and Tsukimaru...I can't wait for them to find out what he did. Such an asshole.

**Ch. 11. **Inferiority is one of Mayumi's issues, but also that she misses her parents.

**Ch. 12. **Yuki and Katsumoto have children. Two girls and one boy.

**Ch. 13. **Definitely not Taka's fault what happened between all their parents.

**Ch. 14. **Kensaku wants access to Sesshomaru's barrier. It's made from Reiki so it shields the yoki emanating from the village.

**Ch. 15. **Sesshomaru is pragmatic and unemotional. That's why it's written the way that it is.

**Ch. 16. **Yuki is difficult! She is so fun to write!

**Ch. 17. **Definitely, Nina's illness was written to get her back to Sesshomaru and I guess we will see what happens as the story progresses.

**Ch. 18. **Yuki definitely needs a punishment for putting everyone in danger.

**Ch. 19. **OOO I want to know what you think now that he's seen her.

**Ch. 20. **OOOOO We shall see!

**Luin-Fanel: **I agree it makes no sense for Yuki to hate Taka or to treat her like that. Taka is innocent mostly. I had an awesome weekend! So glad you are enjoying...now for more drama!

**Angel-wing 92: **Her blood can't heal Nina because it's a specific mixture, administered over a six hour period and she doesn't know how to give it to Nina like that.

**Guesswho: **You bring out so many good points. I had fun making Taka grow up. Their conversation was so different than what I expected to and a big part of that was that Taka needs to help Nina not fight with Yuki and Yuki's detachment really does have to do with dealing with Katsumoto. Now whaddya think!

**Mechine:** Yes you were right! When I first wrote this it was without the interludes, but since people wanted them I added them in. So that's why they came so quickly, I needed to squeeze them in before this chapter. I haven't 100% developed the relationship between Izayoi/Mayumi and Natsuki but I think it's more cordial. Their initial closeness to Sess comes from who he was before. She called him a lovesick pathetic Jerk because he basically has a shrine to Rin in his home and spends nights in Lovers Park...he is lovesick.

**Ivriel: **You are right, all their characters change from who they were and she is still the upstart she was. Maybe a bit softer, hopefully a bit more responsible.

**Guest from chapter 10: **Yes! Like seriously Tsukimaru stop being an ass!


	23. Rin Past-IV

**Wow wow wow...thank you to everyone who left reviews! You made my day, like I was sooo happy! **

**Remember to vote Feudalconnection on Tumblr Best angst!**

**I decided if I win...I will post 4 chapters in one week, the week of February 12th. So if you want 4 chapters in one week...go vote!**

**Rin-past**

The arrows are coming. At any moment they are going to purify the guard that she has come to call her friend. They streak through the air glowing blue and pink. She can hear them whizzing and buzzing, headed straight for him. He already has thirteen in his legs and back. He stands proudly, still partially transformed, looking more like a werewolf than a man, neither running or hiding and as she crouches behind the trees, she knows that he is offering himself so she can escape.

"Ka-san?" Yuki comes from the trees and runs into her mother's arms. Rin's stomach clenches.

"You were supposed to run!" she fumes at her daughter.

"Hisato?" The little girl doesn't understand the mistake she's made.

Rin ducks into the trees, terrified. They are filled with blue purifying light. She covers her mouth until she sees a white flash pass her and a tiny child stands in front of Hisato. Her eyes flash from lavender to white. Her palms come together and heavy barrier surrounds Hisato and Rin. The arrows fall unable to pierce it. The child's white hair is matted around her neck from the strength it takes her to stop the holy energy from entering.

"Send another volley!" the head monk yells, throwing his arm over his shoulder to encourage them to shoot.

"Quickly!" Shiori yells. Aun lands in front of them. Rin throws Yuki on the scaled back, crying in pain from the arrow through her shoulder. She grabs Hisato by the arm and shoves him onto the double headed dragon. "Get on!" she encourages him, unable to lift his body. He snorts something in return, weakly pulling his battered body on.

He gets on next. Shiori climbs on last holding the barrier. They fly into the air. Hisato pants holding his chest.

"Are you okay?" Rin asks him leaning heavily on Ah's head to stay upright. The shoulder stings and burns. She glances back to see the monks scattering and closes her eyes while the dragon supports her.

"I told you to leave," he rebukes Rin. "I told you…to stay behind…" he can't catch his breath. "Shiori-chan," Hisato lifts a tired hand and ruffles the girl's hair. "Thank you."

"Sato sent me. He said you were in trouble, we felt the reiki. Yuki-chan, you shouldn't run off." Shiori levels the other little girl with a glare that says she made a horrendous mistake.

"She's my daughter Hisato," Rin groans as the dragon lands in the private entrance of the home. "I couldn't leave her behind."

"I can't protect you, if you don't listen," Hisato breaths quickly.

Both maids wait for them with Nobuatsu. "Oh Kami," Akari helps Rin off by her good arm and supports her as they walk inside.

Nobuatsu pulls Hisato off and supports him into the back entrance. He whistles when he touches the arrows, his fingers smoke from the holy energy. "We need Taisho. These are sealing arrows. I won't be able to remove them," the horse demon says.

"No," Hisato shakes his head vehemently, "she's coming," he coughs leaning on his comrade. The horse demon carries him into the bedroom across the hall from Rin and Sesshomaru's.

"Ahhh!" Rin screams as she is set down in her room. Nobuatsu follows behind, graceful and quiet. He breaks off the back of the arrow sticking out from her chest. She screams at the pressure. "Hisato?" she begs.

"We'll worry about him as soon as you are stabilized," he kneels down in front of her. "You know what I must do?" It never ceases to amaze her how he is always so calm. His face is pale like Sesshomaru's but with less prominent cheekbones, and no bangs. The silver strands are always tied back in a high pony tail and although she can barely move and is covered in blood, he acts like nothing is wrong.

"I know," Rin braces herself. She takes the broken arrow shaft and bites it in between her teeth. "I'm ready," she grits out.

"Send for him," he encourages her.

She shakes her head, "no. Whatever is keeping him," she coughs gripping the blankets. "Just do it." Whatever is keeping him is more important and she won't call Sesshomaru back unless she is on her death bed.

"Ka-san?" Taiyomaru comes in from the hallway. "You're hurt!" He runs in, not knowing any better than to try to jump on her. She cries when he lands, but cradles his head. "It's okay. I'll be okay," she tries to reassure Taiyomaru. "We need Taisho," she whispers. He hasn't come back from his home by the well and the last message said they still couldn't get it open. She misses her nieces and worries over Kagome and Inuyasha.

"We'll get him," Yuki offers.

"Not alone," Rin breathes heavily, eyes glazing as Nobuatsu grips the back of the arrow. She knows what's coming.

"Send for him Rin-sama," Hisato says from the hallway, he leans painfully against the stone walls.

"Go lay down," she waves him off, preparing herself for the yank of the arrow.

"She's coming," he says quietly touching his heart. "She will remove the arrows."

Rin nods while Taiyomaru sits down touching the shaft protruding from her chest.

"Brace her Akari," Nobuatsu instructs the hanyou fire cat.

She kneels down on one knee and forces Rin's back to stay upright.

"Breathe," Nobuatsu says right before he puts pressure on the broken shaft shoving it backwards through her shoulder. When there is nothing left to push, he yanks it through the back of her shoulder by the arrow head. If she hadn't been against Akari's knee she would have collapsed.

She screams again, the world blurs, she nearly passes out. The pain sears through her shoulder. She can't catch her breath. She hears garbled voices around her. Hands clean the wound on her shoulder. She feels the sharp points of herbs digging into the wound, then bandages covering it. She coughs trying to catch her breath. She opens her eyes to little Taiyomaru standing over her. He presses down on the wound. "It hurts her," he says to Nobuatsu.

"You need to call him Rin-sama," the horse demon tells her.

She shakes her head. Whatever is happening at his mother's house is too important. She grits her teeth feeling something warm entering her shoulder. Her eyes half open expecting to see Sesshomaru, only for Taiyomaru to be the one whose hands are causing the soothing heat. "What are you doing?"

"Chichiue's light is inside, he wants you to feel better," the little one says.

She's too tired to ask questions. She passes out letting sleep and pain take her.

**Please review! That was weird, how can Taiyomaru manipulate their bond?**

**Just a reminder go vote! Feudalconnection on Tumblr!**

**Coming up next, Sesshomaru-Past on Tuesday February 4th **

**Story Plug: Lucky Seven by Firehanyou19. This story is so different from what is normally written I love it. It's Kagome and the Band of Seven, AU...I love finding new and different stories, so please check it out.**

**The Forgotten Rose: **Here is more for you!

**Harukasempai14: **I can't decide if he doubts himself or if he was more business like because his colleagues were there and she needs to be cured first. We shall see what happens with the two brothers...in fact I haven't written that yet...and yes Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru are close...You ask so many good questions :)...we'll have to wait to find out!

**Guest Ch11.: **The Headmaster is no one in particular. The story only focuses around the canon characters and their children.

**Mechine: **I know! I tried to go back and see if I could make that chapter lighter at all but that's how it needed to play out besides let's be honest this is a dark story anyway. I know that's the big question is what is going to happen between Sesshomaru/Natsuki/Nina...that is...if he decides to have a relationship with Nina. She is just fifteen and he's dying...I wonder...

**Angel-Wing 92: **We shall have to wait to see what happens with Tsukimaru. Sesshomaru is definitely in bad-shape.

**Guesswho: **Yay! I am glad you loved that chapter. It had so much going on with it and I thought Taka's reactions to her father were also hilarious. Like sh knew she was in trouble and then he pets her and the mom is like service dog...and yes Sesshomaru's thoughts are on Rin. He misses her so much and imagine she said she would wait for him and here she is without him.

**Smmahamazing: **I love Taka too! I'm so happy they finally got to meet too...now we get to wait to see what happens.

**Gina: **Thank you!

**Ivriel: **Thank you and you're welcome! I'm worried about Sess too he isn't doing so good. I guess we'll see what happens!


	24. Sesshomaru-Past IV

**You all reviewing making my day thank you! Ya'll I have a midterm due on Sunday wish me luck!**

**REMEMBER TO VOTE FEUDALCONNECTION ON TUMBLR BEST ANGST!**

**SERIOUSLY WILL BRIBE WITH 4 CHAPTERS IN ONE WEEK ;)**

**And this chapter was beta'd by the awesome Laureninthsky96**

**Sesshomaru-past**

He feels her pain, then an intrusion. He speeds his coming. It is a race to see who will get there first. First he lands in front of the back door, the private entrance to his home, then in front of his mother. He throws the door open and rushes down the hall to his bedroom. He finds her with Taiyomaru leaning over her and light radiating from the hands of his youngest son. "What are you doing?" He stops short of ripping the boy's appendages off. There is an instinctual need to protect the spiritual bond from any intrusion no matter how small. He forces the feeling down, taking in Rin's form. A bloody bandage is wrapped around her shoulder. She smells of herbs and is covered in sweat.

"She hurts," Taiyomaru says simply. He is five, and every bit of a curious child, "Chichiue's light is inside her. It makes her feel better." His son's face is straining to maintain the connection to Sesshomaru's bond.

There are questions he still has about this child. He will easily overpower his brother and sister. He will not need to fear if Tsukimaru ever decides to take his life. He doesn't know what power the child contains, yet he now knows the boy will be stronger than the average hanyou. Taiyomaru can invade his connection to Rin. "You were taking her pain?" He takes his son by his shoulders.

"She's still bleeding," the little one says. He's all arms and legs, gangly with a thick head of hair and funny toothy grin. "I was too tired to make it stop." He holds his head and nearly collapses.

"You can touch her bond?" he asks, shocked.

"You told me to make her feel better until you came home," he sits down next to his mother exhausted.

He said no such thing, but there isn't time to ask more questions or understand how Taiyomaru was able to manipulate their bond. Taiyomaru lays down next to his mother holding her hand, eyes closing from the work it took to take her pain.

"Hisato, you look like a pin cushion!" Gobodo-sama yells from the room across the hall. "How did this happen?"

"What happened?" Sesshomaru unwraps the bandages revealing the angry wound to her left shoulder. He curses dipping his lips down to the wound. Touch-he still needs touch at times to heal her. He allows his yoki to manipulate their bond and rush to her shoulder. It seems no matter what he does for this shoulder, it remains injured. He healed it completely when she nearly died from Touma's blade. She writhed in pain when the bones rebuilt themselves, but she was on death's door anyway.

She groans in pain. He absorbs it, soothing it as he focuses on forcing the wound to close and rebuilding the broken bones and tissue.

A powerful swirl of yoki so strong it makes Sesshomaru choke rises from the other room, then another and another. He counts thirteen altogether, shaking his head. They will pay for this. He will destroy them.

For now, his focus is on Rin and fixing her shoulder.

Jaken comes in holding his staff nervously. "Sesshomaru-sama, please forgive this Jaken!"

Again with the groveling. In a century that is one thing that has not changed. "What happened?"

"We don't know yet. Yuki left the barrier, Rin and Hisato went after her. I tried to stop Rin, but she wouldn't listen!" Jaken cries out, and Sesshomaru knows it's more from fear.

He holds his lover's wrist in his hand half wanting to laugh. She has been rebellious since she was a teenager and if Yuki was in danger, even he couldn't force her to stay behind.

"It was monks and a priestess," Gobodo-sama walks into the room throwing the many arrows that pierced her lover onto the ground. "He was protecting her."

The words hit his gut like a knife. It isn't that he didn't believe the rumors, but they are easy to ignore when they aren't on your own doorstep.

Rin coughs. Her eyes open weakly, she caresses his cheeks. He kisses her palm. "My love," she whispers in greeting.

"My heart," he brings his lips down to hers. "What happened?"

"It's my fault," Yuki walks into the room with tears in her eyes. Her head is bowed and she averts her eyes, trembling from head to toe. "It's all my fault," she covers her eyes.

Sesshomaru sits down scooping Rin off the floor, holding her to his chest. "Yuki?" This child will be the death of him.

"I left the barrier alone…then they came…they were going to kill me." Her shoulders shake again and his anger flares. They could have easily purified her but it wouldn't destroy the yoki completely. _Why would they kill a child?_ His chest tightens.

"I told you," Gobodo-sama says from the hallway. "Hisato will need to rest. Tell one of your other sentinels to guard your human. He took thirteen arrows and was still moving."

"What happened to him? He transformed," Rin's eyes open all the way.

"It was a half transformation, he needed enough yoki to offset what they were trying to do. He can't transform the way we can, but when he is like that," she exhales bitterly. "We need to leave Sesshomaru."

He grits his teeth knowing he can't stay because another threat awaits them in the skies, but he doesn't want to leave Rin or his children now. "Will you be okay?"

"I'm sorry!" Yuki sobs behind him and it's enough to remind him that her actions nearly cost her mother her life. An angry back hand rises and slaps Yuki across the face. Her body flies backwards, slamming into the floor. "Stupid child," he fumes at Yuki

She cries in pain, landing on her side. He stands meaning to hit her again when Rin bolts upright and grabs his wrist trying to stop him. "Sesshomaru!"

He pushes Rin out the way, eyes set on his daughter as she wipes a bloody lip. Rin struggles off the floor and throws herself in between them again. "No!" she yells at him.

"She nearly got you killed." His jaw tenses with the temptation of shoving her out of the way again.

"That doesn't mean you need to beat her!"

"She does this because you coddle her!" Rin backs into the corner where Yuki is cringing.

"I won't let you."

"_You_ won't let _me_?" He closes his eyes, snickering at her. He towers over both of them as he leans against the wall with the two of them.

"Sesshomaru, please," her voice breaks begging him and he curses.

"This is not finished. Yuki, you will not leave the barrier again! No one does," he knows his eyes are too hard as he pivots from Rin. His blood is boiling, he needs to taste battle, to free himself. "Yuki, if you leave the barrier again, you will get more than a slap."

"I'm sorry," the girl sobs trying holding her mother around the waist. "I didn't mean to."

"And yet you did," he stands up. He has their scent from the arrows. They won't escape his wrath.

"What is wrong with you?" There are tears in Rin's eyes. She pulls their daughter to her chest. Taiyomaru cringes behind his mother. Harutoga is nowhere to be seen.

He doesn't care, he can't answer. Yuki is thirteen and knows better than to leave the barrier. She may be in the body of a seven year old, but she disregards most if not all of what he says. A human thirteen year old wouldn't be so flagrantly stupid as to endanger the others around her. He tilts his head to his mother to follow him, "Feel like hunting?"

"Very much so," she trails behind him.

"You're leaving?" Rin runs behind him holding onto his wrist. Her touch does nothing but bring him anger.

He says nothing and continues for the door.

"Sesshomaru, stop," she tugs on his hand and he relents. "I…" but she stops short as he lifts her hand to his heart, sharing his emotions. He is furious with the monks, furious with Yuki and even more, angered and upset with her for stepping between them, for undermining him.

He pushes her away from him and leaves their home, soaring into the sky next to his mother. Retribution will be swift. "Thirteen arrows," she shakes her head, "no wonder they need so many."

"Weaklings," Sesshomaru snarls.

"Is that how she treats you?" Gobodo-sama asks him. "Even I would have given Yuki a sound beating."

"She will get one, when I return."

"And if your human protests?"

And his stomach clenches, understanding the disrespect that Rin showed him. The question doesn't require an answer.

As they land in the clearing where Rin was injured, Gobodo-sama twirls around, eyes blazing. "What magic is this?"

"I can't smell anything either." There are arrows, there is the blood of Hisato and Rin, but all traces of the monks have been erased. "They don't want us to know who they are. What is going on?"

"I tried to tell you, Sesshomaru…they are attacking in force. They are picking off whatever they can find. Not even our children are safe. Just bed Natsuki and get it over with." She flies into the air.

"No," he says, following behind her. "We will find another way to maintain this truce."

"We can't afford a battle right now."

"I will not lose my bond to Rin again."

**Please review! Oooh what happened between Sesshomaru and Rin? **

**Coming next: Yuki-past Thursday, February 6th. **

**Story Plug: I'm still working on Lucky Seven. The username changed to Silver Sin of the Cosmos. Also Lye Tea wrote a crackfic of Sesshomaru and Kagome's mom. **

**Harukasempai14: **I try to update on Tuesdays/Thursdays, because these chapters are soo short! Occasionally school gets in the way and I might need to back off but we shall see. Yuki is a spoiled brat. When I wrote her I kept thinking, what would a child of Sesshomaru be like? With the way he behaved, perhaps not the best behaved. And you are right about Tsukimaru he is being very cold and callous but maybe he has a reason we don't know about yet...thank you again, your reviews brighten my day!

**Guesswho: **Maybe I should write a last time: when I switch story lines, because honestly most of these are cliffhangers. I don't know why that's just how they ended up being written. Thank you for the well wishes! Yes Rin is one tough cookie, she has to be to live in that time period in Japan.

**Mechine: **Thank you for voting! Yes we are going to see the death of the demons in this story. The answer to the question about modern Sesshomaru will be answered in approximately 9 chapters. I know it's a conundrum because yes if you read InuKag drabbles, Natsuki has been fueling his life. So now would not be a good time for their bond to break. A human can't do what she can. AHHH so much suspense!

**Luin-Fanel:** For future switches in the timelines, I'll write a last time on...and summarize where we were LOL, because it's going to keep going back and forth until we make it all the way through the 10 year disease period. Yep him and his momma tried...damn looks like the monks got the upper hand.

**Guest#1:** ouch...

**Guest#2:** 1\. Future Sess told her not to say anything, groomed her to secrecy and he never told her when it would occur either. He was very secretive and she forgot the cure.

2\. This is actually incorrect. Women were killed for infidelity. The law wasn't redacted until 1908. If a man in Japan caught his wife with another, male or female he had the right to kill her.

3\. This is an emotional statement not a logical one. Had Kagome ever said anything she could have changed the fabric of time which is why Future Sess withheld often. Sesshomaru said it before, he is not a god, he wouldn't change time. He never told her about the healer, or when the miscarriage would happen.

4\. Inuyasha could wield Tenseiga because all it takes is a compassionate heart, there are no other requirements. Sesshomaru could have wielded Tetsusaiga freely had it not ben for the barrier that his father placed on it against fullblooded demons being able to touch it. The sword bond has nothing to do with it. That's probably just a fan-made theory that's run wild. I've deviated a bit but I try to use canon matieral. VIA canon, Sesshomaru did wield Tetsusaiga, the only thing that stopped him was the barrier. Tenseiga it's said just needs a compassionate heart, nothing else. Thank you for your review!

PS these stories are not sexist, they reflect the times. This is Feudal Japan not the 21st century. If you try to apply 21st century logic to this story you are going to make yourself crazy.

**Gogo:** Yes you are right. Sesshomaru can wield Tetsusaiga with a human arm, it's just the barrier stopping him.

**Gina: **Love you! Thank you!


	25. Yuki-past II

**I'm skipping happy because of all your reviews!**

**USE OF TENSEIGA AND TETSUSAIGA: **We have us some debate going on about the use of the swords. **Tetsusaiga being used by**** Sesshomaru:** Sesshomaru CAN use Tetsusaiga. Their father put a barrier on it making it so that no pure-blooded demon could wield it. He did this because he knew that Sesshomaru would kill Inuyasha for it. Instances of use: The first time he is shown wielding it is when Naraku gives him a human arm with a shikon shard. The second time he uses the dragon arm to try to destroy it. After that in the 3rd movie he uses it on So'ungo burning his own hand in the process from the barrier. With Sara Asano he uses Tetsusaiga to save her. So he can wield the sword and could have had his father not put that barrier on. **Tenseiga being used by Inuyasha in Sesshomaru's Fear**: The only requirement for this sword is a compassionate heart. That's it. There was never another requirement, however based off Inuyasha being unable to train the blade's use of Meido, that's why I made it an incomplete revival. Technically this is fanlore but from canon all you need is a compassionate heart and that's it.

**Voting:** **Please keep voting! I'll post four chapters in one week, okay I'll post chapters on all my stories. I have 2 for sessxrin drabbles in my back pocket, working on one for InuKag Drabbles, Fire and Ice has another chapter, Trudy's One Night Stand and the Book of Kagome...sooooo guys...vote vote vote! Feudalconnection on tumblr!**

* * *

**Yuki-Past**

He returned furious and yelling. Ka-san tried to stop him but he tossed her out of the way and she shrank back before Yuki was dragged into his study. She hasn't stopped crying since. She lays stomach down on her futon, her backside swollen with bruises. He didn't use his hand this time but his whip until she howled in pain. He cursed her for being a stubborn and stupid child. He carried her back to her room, flopping her on her stomach and then Ka-san and Chichiue started shouting at each other. He said he was tired of her always interfering and she said he was acting like a monster. He threatened her if she didn't stop berating him and she screamed at him that he was being unfair. He left furious.

The first time Chichiue hit her was five years before when she ran off to find Bukoseno alone. After that, there were times she knew she pushed and if she was really bad, she faced him when he came home. It was worse this time.

"This wouldn't happen if you would stop wandering off!" Harutoga yells at her while he dips a cloth into a bucket of cold water. He lifts her blood stained kimono off her shoulders down her flat waist. She cries as the material is peeled of her tattered skin. He said if she ever ran off or left the barrier again, he would do worse and it was better that she faced him than face the monks again. They would have killed her.

"Shut up!" she screams at him, swiping at his face. "Just get out."

"It's my room too!" Harutoga snipes at her.

"No it's not! It was never your room. It's mine! Get out!"

Harutoga didn't hear what Shiori said. _Does Soba-sama hate me?_ Harutoga growls as he leaves to room.

No sooner does the door close then it opens again and Taiyomaru comes in followed by Katsumoto. Taiyomaru holds a jar and she recognizes the yellow cream inside. The elder demon says nothing, except to lean down next to her on his knees and rinse the cloth on her back. Taiyomaru goes to her other side and his tiny finger wedges the cream into the broken strips of her skin. She winces, flinches, and then cries harder because of how it stings.

"Where's Ka-san?" she asks her youngest brother.

"He said she couldn't comfort you," Taiyomaru answers. "Shh," he leans over Yuki and sets his hands over her back. She feels heat and then the sting bites less. It's almost as if she can feel her skin knitting back together.

"Good little one," Katsumoto says to Taiyomaru. "Is that better, Yuki?"

The dog-demon's hand is warm when it touches her cheek.

"What did you do, Taiyomaru?" She sits up touching the tender flesh of her back. Thin pieces of new flesh cover the gashes her father left her. It still hurts and her muscles are sore but it's not as bad as before.

"Chichiue's light is inside you. It hurt him to hurt you," Taiyomaru says plainly.

"No it didn't," she snarls and finds herself crawling into Katsumoto's lap. "Where were you?"

He loops an arm around her side. She smells shock at first as his body stiffens but she wants someone to hold her. It was scary enough facing a group of monks that wanted her dead, she didn't need to face her father's rage after that.

"Here. We sensed the reiki, it was less risky to send Hisato. If they came to the barrier, my strength was needed here."

"I really messed up?" She can't hold back and buries her face in his shoulder.

"It was stupid, little one," Katsumoto exhales next to her ear. "Very stupid."

"Why can't you just listen?" Taiyomaru stands up with the bucket of bloody water and leaves the room. "You wouldn't get in trouble all the time."

* * *

It's night by the time that she leaves Katsumoto's lap. For reasons she didn't understand, he allowed her to sit and mope and at least someone was willing to hug her. Her stomach is growling. She wants dinner, but there is someone else she needs to talk to. His yoki is weak, but his scent is strong. Years before, Chichiue moved Hisato into the room Jaken used to live in and Jaken was given a bigger room down a side hall. "Yuki, where are you going?" Jaken calls her from the hallway.

"To see Hisato," she says right next to his door.

"You better not run off again," he turns and goes to Chichiue's study. She knocks on the door. There is no answer. _Maybe he's sleeping_. She purses her lips before jogging down the hall to the supply closet. Her back hurts less now that Taiyomaru did whatever he did. Even she knows he's weird. She pulls another jar of the yellow cream from the shelf, and then goes into the kitchen to get a bucket of cold water and fresh cloths. Even she knows when she has done something wrong.

By the time she comes back her mother eyes her curiously and kneels down in front of her. "You cannot leave the barrier again without Katsumoto. Do you understand now how dangerous what you did was?"

She nods and wipes her eyes, setting the bucket and the cream down to wrap her arms around her mother's neck. "I was so scared!"

Her mother responds with equal urgency, holding her. She pulls back after a minute. "I need to go help Hisato. It's my fault he's hurt so badly."

She opens his door. He doesn't stir from his place on the bed. His sheets are covered in blood. His haori is off and his back is covered in blood soaked bandages. His legs are bare leaving him in just his fudoshi. She climbs onto his futon, setting the bucket on the side. She uses her claws to remove the bandages from his back. With that movement against him, his eyes lazily open. "Yuki?"

"Why didn't she heal you?" She knows the bond allows them to do so. Chichiue does it all the time for Ka-san's bad injuries.

He snorts and replies, "This is after she did." He grunts in pain as the last bandage is removed. She sets about her job, cleaning the blood off his back, while attempting to avoid reopening his wounds that are just beginning to clot. "Why did you leave the barrier, little one?"

"Shiori-chan said her Ojisama killed her Chichiue." She's going to cry again and she doesn't want to. "Does Soba-sama like Tsukimaru better than us? Is that why Natsuki lives with her?"

Hisato grabs Yuki's hand from over his shoulder. "Why would you ask that? She's never shown favor for one grand-child over the other."

"Does she like him more because he's pure-blooded and we're not?"

"No." The tone of his voice gives her hope.

"I need to apologize to Chichiue. Can you ask her to send him?"

"My yoki is too weak to speak to her from this distance."

"Can I send Aun with a message?"

"You're asking?"

"I'm sorry, Hisato-san." She hugs him around the back. "I'm really sorry."

"The women in this house," he laughs holding her hand. "Don't leave without Katsumoto again."

"Okay." She can taste her tears in her mouth as she opens the jar to smooth the cream into the injuries on his back.

"Send your message."

She nods, for once feeling more like the teen she is supposed to be, despite the childlike body she is in.

* * *

As night falls, Yuki finds no rest. Her back still hurts enough to keep her from sleeping on it and whenever she changes positions it twinges making her want to cry. She untangles herself from her brothers' arms and opens the door to her bedroom. Katsumoto sits on Hisato's bed speaking quietly and glances over at her as she shields her eyes from the torches that line the hallway. "What's wrong, little one?"

She rubs her back but doesn't say how much pain she is in. She can hear her mother crying on the other side of her door. "I'm hungry," she says, because it's only partly true.

"Go to the private dining hall. I'll join you shortly." Katsumoto carries on speaking to Hisato.

She slowly approaches the dining hall only to turn to her father's study. She touches the door nervously, where before he had dragged her in and tossed her on the ground. She grimaces, closing her eyes, trying to push the memory out. Opening the door, she finds Jaken sitting at her father's desk. "Come in Yuki-chan," he says happily, so happily it makes her sick.

She comes in and sits down in one of the chairs. "Does he hate me?"

"Of course not." Jaken sets the quill down.

"My back hurts." She covers her eyes crying.

"He was scared, although he'll never admit it."

"Are they going to break up again?" Not for the first time she wonders if she'll be the ruin of her father's relationship with her mother.

"No," she hears her father's voice behind her and she stands up wiping her eyes, backing away fearfully against the bookshelf.

He must sense her fear because he crosses the threshold of his office and reaches down, lifting her up. "Yuki," Sesshomaru consoles his daughter. He kisses her cheek and she breathes in the smell of forest and pines while holding tight to his shoulder. He takes her out of his study, across the hall and out an open window, flying with her into the air until they land on the other side of the lake. She curls into his armor-free chest, hugging him. He pulls the back of her yukata open revealing tender flesh. "Who did this?"

"Taiyomaru," she whimpers. "Do you hate me?"

"No," he nuzzles her nose lovingly. "It was dangerous."

"I know."

"You will heal yourself. Do you remember how?" He strokes her back gently, so softly it's hard to believe the same hands attacked her earlier.

She nods her head, focusing her yoki into the damaged skin of her back until she wavers in her father's lap. Wielding her yoki to force her wounds to close is exhausting. "You will not tell Ka-san I was here."

"She's upset with you."

"And I with her, I came for you. Why did you leave the barrier?"

She relaxes into her father's embraces, breathing deeply of the fur that wraps over his shoulder. Nervously she bites her lower lip. "Shiori-chan said her Ojisama killed her Chichiue because he was with a human…" the unspoken question is left hanging in the air.

She feels him shift from the nest she's made herself against his chest, surrounded by the fluff of his mokomoko. "You think Soba-sama will try to kill me because of your mother."

"Yeah." Her knees meet her chin. "She is stronger than you."

"She loves you." She can feel his fingers running up and down her furry ears. "She doesn't see you as less than Tsukimaru, or Rin as competition to Natsuki."

Yuki struggles to understand. She's been sworn to silence about Natsuki's visits while her father is away. It's why Taiyomaru loves Tsukimaru so much. The two play together and her mother tells her that she does it because Taiyomaru would never calm as a baby, except for his father and his brother. "Do you love him more than me?"

"No." A kiss is left lingering on the top of her head. "You are my daughter Yuki."

"You left Ka-san after I was born."

He tenses and the air becomes stiff between them. "Yuki, were you scared today?"

"Yes."

His fingers massage his neck almost as if the wound that was there before is still open. She knows about that too, that Touma had ripped his throat open and that was why he died in the snow that day. "Even Chichiue needs time to recover from fear."

"You mean like how I want to be alone when I'm upset?"

He nods.

"Does he mean more to you? I heard you and Ka-san fighting about you wanting to see him more often." She thinks about what she just said as her father's arm tighten around her.

"Would you miss Chichiue if you only saw me once a week?"

"I missed you all the time before," she says honestly. It ached when he was never home. "You miss him don't you?"

He nods again. "Tsukimaru is my son."

"I'm sorry I ran off Chichiue." She snuggles into his chest, nuzzling the skin of his neck affectionately.

"Chichiue would be very sad if Yuki died," he mutters by her ear. "My little one. Chichiue loves you, no more and no less than your brothers."

"Why can't you make me a sister? Boys are annoying and not with her."

"Ka-san doesn't want more children." They begin shifting and soaring through the air. "Time for sleep." She climbs over his shoulder onto his back as they glide back to their home.

Just as they land by the back door, Jaken comes running out with a message. He hands it to Sesshomaru and she can see her father's face fall.

"What is it, Chichiue?"

"A letter from Taisho," he hands it back to Jaken. "Inuyasha is ill. Jinenji needs herbs from our garden."

* * *

**Please review! Okay how cute was this exchange between Yuki and Sesshomaru? And apparently there is an Ask Me Anything button on Tumblr...I have been encouraged to do an ask me anything. How many people would be interested in a live event where you can ask me anything about my stories? Except for spoilers?**

**Story Plug: Girl in the Mirror by Sarathechimera** **this is not Inuyasha but her writing is amazing and it's mysterious. **

**Coming next! Tuesday February 11th, Kagome-past**

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**Kimmigirl9: **I know it was intense right? Thank you!

**Angel-wing 92: **Taiyomaru's differences all have to do with his conception. I actually never wrote it in but I'm going to in a later chapter that he can basically manipulate his father's yoki inside of other people. So his power to heal can only be done on his immediate family and really he is wielding their yoki. If you go back and read his conception it's very different than Yuki and Harutoga. Sesshomaru was out of control for both of them and Rin scared of him because of how he lost control. With Taiyomaru they were in sync with each other and Rin expressed true faith and love for Sesshomaru. Yeah the greeks did interesting stuff. I hope you read above about the sword but there were many different instances of Sess wielding Tetsusaiga in the series.

**Reaper 007: **Welcome back! I haven't seen a review from you for a while! Sesshomaru is going to have big issues in the past story line and this is all I am going to say and yes in a way Yuki does act out for attention. What Shiori said really upset her and you pretty much predicted the line of this chapter.

**Red-Arrow 24: **I actually had Kagome try to subjugate him with those beads in Lost Memories it didn't work...yeah Sesshomaru could use a sit command every now and again although I'm on his side. Her actions almost killed her mother and Hisato...

**Mechine: **Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! When I get around to updating the other stories I'll respond to the other ones :). Yes the plot is getting darker. We are getting to when the Disease is about to begin. I have a plan for fluffy breaks in this part but there are definitely going to be some heavy issues. Yes Sesshomaru has not told them how bad things are above because he is afraid to...which will come out slowly later. Oh him and Natsuki...I wonder how far Kensaku is going to push that?


	26. Kagome-past III

**Seriously I did not expect that last chapter to garner so much feedback. You guys are the best audience in the freaking planet!**

**Only a few days left to vote on tumblr feudal connection and ya'll I'm so excited! Even if we don't win we all know this story is all kinds of angst!**

**Anyway...wow that was a rough school week. I can't wait for you to read what happening with our favorite couple this week!**

**VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!**

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**Kagome**

**Three Weeks Later**

She leans over the well…again.

They've been at this for weeks, trying to force it open, morning, noon, and night, and all she can think of is how scared she is for her two daughters. Did he remember? It isn't that she didn't trust her mother to raise her daughters, but Izayoi doesn't look human, with white hair, golden eyes, claws, fangs and wiggly, fuzzy dog ears on top of her head. She can't blend in.

The well bursts into an explosion of virulent blues, pinks and hues of violet, throwing her and Taisho onto the ground…again.

Her back is on fire, her shoulders ache. Taisho's back isn't much better but his yoki heals it faster than hers. He rises off the ground, grunting and wiping his nose. "This is ridiculous." He joins her by the well again to try to pry it open.

Inuyasha is resting nearby underneath a tree rubbing his forehead. He has a fever, a rash has broken out on the soles of his feet. It's painful and often bleeds. Jinenji wraps his feet in clay and herbs to alleviate the pain, he's nearly as tall as the tree that Inuyasha is sitting under. Nearby Miroku and Sango watch while some of their younger children happily run incircles in Inuyasha's forest.

"She won't give up?" Sango asks while her youngest son Hiroshi runs circles chasing his sisters in the grass.

"No," Inuyasha grimaces while Jinenji removes the poultices from his blistered feet. They are stained in blood and yellow ooze.

"There's nothing else to try?" Miroku asks the hanyou who towers over them.

"I've tried all my herbs. Sesshomaru-sama sent new ones. I haven't seen this kind of illness before," he speaks quietly, and thoughtfully.

On Sango's lap, Kirara mews and yawns finding a place in her lap. "I don't like this. It's like something dark is hovering over us."

"It'll be fine," Inuyasha says confidently.

Kagome observes the conversation from the well, hoping that they are right and that it will all be fine, but there are things she knows and she is cursing herself for never asking more questions, for never prying it out of him. _Is this it? _Fear takes her as she gazes at her lover, _is this the Disease that he said killed them? Is this why I never saw you in the future? _It had always vexed her that she had never met Inuyasha in her future. Sesshomaru adjured her on many occasions that Inuyasha was there.

She thought perhaps hidden. Maybe he couldn't say where he was.

"Try again," she tells Taisho as she gathers her spiritual power. It swirls around her, wrapping her in blinding, tepid pink light. "Taisho?" she yells at her son. He wants to give up and she knows it.

"It's not working Ka-san," he says defeated. "That's it. It's shut," he sits down next to the well. "They're stuck." His face is crestfallen, he breathes heavily.

"I don't accept that!" she yells at her son. "Help me!"

"It's over Ka-san…I'm going to pack my things and head back to Ojisama's house," he kicks the Well as he walks away to their hut.

"Taisho!" she calls to him. This child will be the death of her, if she can still call him one. He's eighteen now, defiant, his own person.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha calls as he pants underneath the tree.

Her eyes soften seeing him, the others have left and that makes her relieved. There is a red sheen around his eyes, his cheeks are bright. She makes her way to her lover. His feet are wrapped in bandages that are already soaking through with blood. She sits down next to him and touches his forehead. He has already made his mother's liver broth. It didn't help. The herbs from Nobuatsu's garden have helped somewhat but not enough.

He coughs lightly, rubbing his forehead, "I feel horrible." He's slumped against the rivulets of the deep brown trunk behind him.

"You don't look good," Kagome leans underneath his arm to hoist him off the ground. "We should take you to the river and wash those feet."

"This is after they were cleaned. Just let me sit," he says exhausted. "I'm normally not sick for this long."

"You said you felt better last night," she reminds him. "The fever broke, why did it come back?"

"You tell me, you're the nurse," he says proudly. "At least you were able to finish before the well closed."

She bursts into tears turning from him. How can she cry when he feels so awful himself? "I can't do this," she whispers sadly. "You have to get better, Inuyasha. I can't lose you too."

"I'm tough, you worry too much," he says as he accepts her help to get off the grass. His eyes follow his son who has packed his small bag. Sayako and Sota left two weeks earlier. They'll go visit them when he feels better. She smiles thinking of Tatsuo, the gorgeous little boy that has stolen her heart. The child smiles as if there are no cares in the world and nothing can harm him.

"Your feet are bleeding and you've been running a fever for weeks," she whispers. _Please don't let this be the disease he spoke of. _

Taisho sits down with them. "I'm ready to go. I'm sorry Ka-san…I'll come back in a few weeks to try again."

"He can't teach you about your spiritual powers Taisho," the mother reminds her son. It's going to rain soon. The sun is covered with angry grey clouds. Plump rain drops begin to fall from the sky. "It's starting to rain."

"The easier to get there without someone tracking me," he says nervously. "They need me Ka-san."

"We need you," Kagome says, but is stopped by a hand on top of hers. It's then she feels the raising bumps of blisters growing on the palm of his hand. "We need to find a Healer."

"I'll send Nobuatsu," Taisho offers. "When I get back."

"Jinenji is the best there is. If he can't get these to calm down, I don't know," Inuyasha forces a smile on his tired face. "Just go. I'll be here when you come home."

"Bye To-san," he hugs his parents and jogs into the forest.

They arrive back at their hut and she immediately sets him down on the furs on the floor that Rin and Sesshomaru sent for him. His eyes close, but before she can get up to tend to the village, Inuyasha grabs her around the waist bringing her back down. "It'll be okay Kagome…you'll see. The well will open again, the girls will be fine."

"I can't help it," she lays down next to him. "I'm worried about them."

"Your mom will take care of them."

"I know…I'm almost offended that he thinks there is a better place than here."

"It's easier for him to be who he is there. Besides, when Sesshomaru sent the letter he said that Yuki was attacked by monks. Rin was injured, they almost lost Hisato."

"You two talk quite a bit now," she smiles. It was better than them always fighting.

"Some things are in the past. Hideki threatened Taisho a few days ago. He didn't want to worry you, but he attacked him."

"That kid has been a nuisance since he was born," Kagome snorts. He was the same child that had thrown Taisho in the river when he was two years old, the same one that attempted to seduce Rin when she was a girl and the same one the two boys had pummeled until he finally married and was too inundated with children to bother them. "What happened?"

"Taisho beat the hell out of him," he laughs proudly. "He's learned more with Sesshomaru than I could teach him. He has better control over his poison and he makes my skin crawl when he calls on the full extent of his spiritual powers. They were happy with us," he claws her hair. "They just need to be where they belong."

"And you?"

"It was never easy here…it's why we live on the outskirts. He sent the warning because he's worried they will come back here."

"Should we leave?" It hasn't occurred to her that the fight would be brought to them.

"I don't know. For now, Sango and Miroku will fight for me. I have you," he kisses her brow. "Nothing bad is going to happen."

* * *

**Nothing bad is going to happen? Please Review and tell me what you think of that!**

**Story Plug: I'm going back to Kiss of Fate by me and the awesome Kimmigirl9 because the shit is about to hit the fan in that story and we just posted a yummy lime...**

**Coming Next! Natsuki-past February 13th...what's happening back at Gobodo-sama's castle?**

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**Kimmigirl9: **Yes I agree with you! It made me shed some tears too. That moment between Sesshomaru and Yuki is so freaking cute!

**HarukasempaiX2:** Yuki is totally a daddy's girl but it was unintentional that she didn't apologize to her mother directly. I may put that in later. She is a total brat and yes I felt like she needed a whooping too. I actually asked the husband if it was overboard and he said NO because she almost got other people killed!

**Mechine:** Yes Yuki deserved a big consequence for running out of the barrier acting like she was above the rules. They don't see Rin as inferior Gobodo-sama doesn't favor one daughter in law over the other in fact she favors Rin, because everything she has done has been to keep Rin from death...perhaps not in the best way possible. I also liked her and Katsumoto. Obviously he will not do anything with her until she is well over 130-150 somewhere in there, but I wanted to show the start of both of them sensing something about each other that is completely non-sexual. Yuki is a complex girl, she's not so easy to understand.

**GuesswhoX2:** The chapters are hopefully coming on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can follow me on twitter or tumblr same username for updates. I loved showing the family dynamic too, because Rin was beaten as a child why would she want her daughter to be, but Yuki really, really badly crossed a line that almost brought her mother and guard death sooo...Yes different times and oddly enough I asked my husband if it was 'too much' and he told me no...because the times and the fact that she endangered other people so it's acceptable, not that we want Yuki beaten but that moment at the end where they talk about it and make up for it...oh yes dark times are acoming!

**Ginax2:** Yes I should not have to explain but the problem really is that people are so hung up on Fanon there are certain nuances I probably know nothing about because I don't follow them...things with the two swords is probably part of it. Were you able to vote?

**Morality:** They are in love but he is not Prince Charming, he is a dog-demon who is drawn by natural, uncontrollable instincts and she is human, which means they are meshing two worlds together and they are allowed to fight. All couples fight. It's never easy to combine two individuals and fighting does not equate an unhappy relationship.

**Mother Fudger:** Kagome beat Rin once remember? In Sengoku this was a normal punishment for a child that misbehaved so I would argue Sesshomaru isn't psychotic. He is practical. Inuyasha was not raised better than Sesshomaru? Remember he tried to kill Kagome...he wanted to kill Kikyo, in fact it took beads to calm his ass down. I love your passion but if you place 21st century standards on a story-line that takes place 500 years ago you are going to be appalled. Minorities didn't have rights, women didn't have rights, children were beaten often...watch Dororo, it gives you a very clear picture of how women/children were treated back then...it weren't pretty we just have a hard time swallowing that pill. And like everyone else said, she deserved it.

**Ivriel: **Thank you! I thought the mother daughter moment was cute too. Voting is open until tomorrow so we shall see how it goes.


	27. Natsuki Past-II

**Seriously you all are the best freaking audience ever! I'm prepping this on the 12th proper, so if results come in by the time I post tomorrow (Thursday) I will let you know!**

**I keep forgetting to mention the last chapter and this one were edited by the lovley Laureninthesky96 :)...Thank you!**

**I'm just going to take a moment to celebrate my beta-ee's kimmigirl9, Nightbird755 and Mbrook6759...they are amazing, creative individuals and I would love to see their stories get more love. AHH so honored to work them. **

**Anyway without further adieu...**

**Natsuki-past**

For three weeks the arguments raged. She was being dishonored, humiliated, it wasn't their way. At the bottom of it, she knew what her father was after. She kept her distance from Sesshomaru, only passing Tsukimaru through servants until she couldn't stand it any longer.

It was the middle of the night, the arguments had finally stopped. Sesshomaru adjured Kensaku that he would live with Natsuki at the end of Rin's life and that then and only then they would be together. Kensaku tried to bully Sesshomaru into bedding Natsuki at least once while they were both in the castle. He refused. It didn't bother her. Her time would come.

Of course the entire time the meetings happened, her father insisted they sit next to each other, which meant gentle caresses passed between the two. His finger would brush against her hip by accident when he moved, her elbow pressed into his side if she didn't pay attention. Heat would build between them and no matter how she tried, she couldn't keep her yoki from reaching out to his, and during quiet moments, she could feel his breaching hers.

Natsuki screamed during one meeting that she wasn't suffering, it was her choice. She fought with her father and felt trapped between the two. The only reason her father wanted her to interfere was because of Sesshomaru's barrier made of reiki.

She raises her hand to knock on his door, then stops herself. She raises it again opening her mouth only to close it. Before she can try again, he rips the door open. She's holding Tsukimaru. He's her peace offering, a pathetic hope that he won't turn her away. As soon as the door opens, the baby jumps out of her arms and into the arms of his father. She hasn't seen the two of them together in years. Tsukimaru greedily grabs at his father's face, pinching his nose, laughing and tugging on his hair. She smiles happily. "I didn't realize you two were such good friends." Tsukimaru finds strips of Sesshomaru's hair and puts them in his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" He lifts his son to his lips, kissing his crescent moon and bouncing him on his hip.

"I…my father…." She stops herself, "I'm trapped. Whatever I say, I betray someone close to me."

"You would term our relationship close?" He laughs devilishly, making her heart drop. It's not easy being bound to someone who wants nothing to do with you, or finding out he took his current lover to his family's Villa but not her. They never had the time to cement their relationship. She can feel it though as she takes in the harshness of his, the cool amber colored rocks staring back at her, his yoki rises and it takes all her strength to stop herself from entangling herself in it.

"I helped your human. I fought for you," she says firmly. She helped slay the ogre king, she depleted her own yoki to save Rin, _I deserve more than this._ "I'm trying to make up for what I did."

"And now you intend to betray your father," he motions her to come inside. He shuts the door and sits down by the window tickling his son's sides. The baby giggles hysterically and the snuggles onto his father's shoulder.

"I'm trying, Sesshomaru, does that mean nothing? I've kept my distance. I keep my feelings inside so you don't feel them. We agreed," she sits in front of him, smiling again. "I like seeing you with him."

"He's my son." He says it so incredulously she almost regrets the smile that is stretching her cheeks. It feels good to know that he loves this child as much as the others.

"I thought you would love the other three more," she can't look at him when she says that. "He wasn't made in love as they were."

"Tsukimaru is the same as my other three children. Thank you for sending him to me daily." He nuzzles the inside of the child's neck making him laugh again. "Why did you come? I know you can feel it between us."

"It's like a vortex," she rubs her heart, it takes all her effort to remain so far away from him. Their bonds are resonating off each other, sucking them in. "I know why my father is doing this. I had nothing to do with it, Sesshomaru. I was fine waiting until Rin dies…but…it's my father. He's scared. The monks are attacking. They can't detect your home because the reiki cancels out the yoki and he wants me to live with you so I can find out how you made the barrier."

Sesshomaru scoffs lowering his head. "You choose to be loyal to this Sesshomaru?"

She nods her head. "I…"

"Love me?" He starts laughing genuinely at her absurdity and she feels ridiculous for the warmth in her heart she feels for him.

"No," she whispers, obviously hurt by his indifference. "I want to make the right choice this time. I acted for myself last time and you are the father of my son. If my father hurts you, he'll hurt me. And Tsukimaru could lose both of us. He deserves better than that."

"Thank you," he says scooting forward. He cups her chin and nuzzles her nose, their lips brush against each other for the briefest moment. He rests their crescent moons together. "I will end this."

"Why can't you just tell him?"

"There are too many that depend on the barrier for safety. My children included," he passes Tsukimaru back to Natsuki. "Your father hasn't made the right allies."

"He hates humans," she gazes at him longingly. Their lips meet again. He cups her face, dipping his tongue into her mouth. Her breath quickens, until she pushes him back. She made a promise.

"You need to leave now," he tells her panting. She can see it, he's about to lose control.

She can feel his yoki rising, wanting to wrap around her, tugging at her senses. "You need to learn to control that."

She rises to leave but he catches her wrist, pulling her back into his lap. She feels his nose and mouth against her neck. "Are you happy here, Natsuki?"

"It's lonely sometimes. Your mother isn't always the best company. My friends are in the West but with the way things are…" she trails off. "I heard about your daughter. Is she okay?"

"She is well." His nose rubs against her skin making her bite her lip.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, and kisses the joint of her neck, his lips burning a scar into her neck. "This is not how it was meant to be."

"I don't understand." She tries to get up again, only for his hold to tighten. "Sesshomaru, you're going to do something you regret." Tsukimaru squirms in her arms, trying to twist out of her grasp back to his.

"If we were human, would I be asked to make such sacrifices?"

His words are distant but his lips are so close to her skin.

"To give more to the three children in my home and leave the one here behind. What will he think of this Sesshomaru when he is grown? That I loved them more than him?" He reaches over her shoulder and caresses his son's cheek with his crooked finger. "How can I trade his happiness for theirs?"

"I tell him you love him."

"I barely see him," she hears a pain in his voice, unspoken words. "When this is over, I will come more frequently."

She's left stunned by his words. "When he's weaned, I'll send him to you. Only fifteen more years." Teeth scrape against her shoulder and she leans forward, trying to get away from his mouth. "Why are you doing this?" she pants out. "We can't…"

"I'm exhausted, Natsuki…my daughter is attacked for what she is. My son is in the sky…my lover," he closes his eyes resting them against the window. "She…if Tsukimaru ran away and nearly caused one of our deaths, what would you do?"

"Beat him, we would teach him better than that."

"And if he didn't listen."

"He will."

"You know nothing of children, sweet one. If he didn't listen?"

"I suppose if it was that bad…we would beat him and hope he learns. What's wrong?" She finally does what she had been avoiding and she opens her bond, feeling an ache in his heart, a sadness, tenseness, stress and exhaustion. "You need to sleep."

"There is no time for sleep. Your father complicates matters. You are happy here?"

"You care?"

"I care," he rests his face in her hair, breathing deeply. "If we were human, you would be my second wife. I would still be obligated to care for you, to ensure your happiness. Are you happy here?"

"I miss home," she admits sourly. "My brother, he just turned a hundred and seventy. We used to play together in the fields around our home."

"Do you wish to return?"

"When it's safe. I hear the rumors, the fear," she holds her son close. "I can't lose him. I can't lose our son, Sesshomaru."

"We won't lose him. You are safe here, in the skies. I'm sorry that this is our fate." He finally releases her but holds her hand as she glides to the door. "Natsuki?"

She can feel it, the need within him. He's boiling, but not with lust, with an ache, that she reaches out to comfort with her own yoki. "Why aren't you going to her?"

He shakes his head and doesn't answer.

She forces more of her yoki inside of him, like a tense breath. "You can really end it?"

"Easily, leave," he waves her away. "I'll send Tsukimaru back with a servant," he removes the baby from her hands again.

She holds her chest to steady her heart as she leaves. She smiles, _I did the right thing. But he was pushing it. _She rubs her neck where his mouth was just moments before. _He was pushing it._

**Time for you guys to make a vote. The Interludes are done. But...do we want more Nina and Taka POV while they are in the clinic? I haven't written them yet, but if you want it let me know in the reviews.**

**Please review! Oh his senses were slipping...and I think he felt a bit bitter about what happened with Rin and conflicted about the time he is sacrificing with one son over the others.**

**Coming on Tuesday February 18th** **Sesshomaru-Past...man we're just drawing out that cliffhanger from the future timeline. **

**Story Plug: I have been working with Nightbird755 on Sesshomaru and Avalon. It's Sess/OC, I write Sesshomaru for her most of the time, I would definitely encourage reading it. It involves a graphic rape in the first chapter so please be aware of that. This is her very first fanfic so please review review review...**

**Kimmigirl9: **Oh I know..the next few Kagome POV's are going to be very difficult to read. I'm debating writing some more TAKA and NINA to break it up with humor/fluff.

**Harukasempai14: **Lied? Maybe never answered her an used subterfuge...possibly lied. Sesshomaru's blood is not the cure. It's Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru which Kagome doesn't remember. So the whole explanation of why he never changed it will be explained in the end of the story...when the well reopens. You'll have to hold on until then.

**Itzatakahashi:** Thank you soo much! I'm glad you like it. Yeah she suspects. The problem is Sesshomaru never told her when or what the symptoms were so she is literally flying blind and she can't even go through the well to ask.

**Mechine: **I know...we finally see the dreaded disease rearing its ugly head. Yes Kagome forgot. She was only 15 and still recovering from her battle with Naraku and Sesshomaru gave her that whopper of a fever afterwards, her mind is fuzzy...Natsuki's inability to go into heat will be answered near the end of the story.

**smahammazing: **Thank you for your review on KOF too it made Kimmigirl and my day! I was crying too...and I already wrote that chapter where he passes and it's sooo..we gonna need us some tissues for that one.

**Reaper 007:** I love your passion. All your questions are like, what can we do to stop this horror from happening. So about her forgetting, remember he gave her a whopper of a fever after, dumped a ton of information on her lap and then he never talked about it again...so yes she forgot and he also never told her when or what it looked like. We can't assume that changing their fates for the better wouldn't come without consequences. Again she didn't have enough information to act and by the time it came she couldn't go to Sesshomaru in the future for help. I think the rest of what you said is again, how can we stop it? Is this really going to happen?

**Gina: **Yay thank you :)


	28. Sesshomaru-Past V

**Ahhh we didn't win, but that's okay. I'm still so happy about all the attention this story is getting and posting this a day early to celebrate with my lovely readers!**

**Okay this might actually be one of my favorite chapters. If you have noticed with the rotating POV's, we get insight into each characters inner feelings, which you may or may not agree with...which is part of the fun of writing using POV's.**

**This was beta'd by the awesome Laureninthsky96! I am so happy to have someone catch all my grammar errors. **

**AND WELCOME TO REVIEWER NEW READER! YOUR RESPONSE IS BELOW**

* * *

Sesshomaru-past

At first she was furious and he was glad they were separated for so long. The talks were endless and at no point would Kensaku yield what he was after. Days turned into weeks, but then he felt Rin's emotions shift from anger, to resignation, then yearning. During the day he ignored his bond to her to deal with the crisis at hand, but his ache for her was growing.

Ending the conflict with Kensaku was not as simple as he had originally hoped. If Kensaku was after the black stone, Sesshomaru wouldn't tell him where he had found it. Hosenki had forged it, a combination of yoki and reiki that is loyal to the demon it is bound to. But as he exits the final meeting, where no progress was made, he can feel Rin again. She's frustrated about something and yearning for his presence. He hasn't been home in three weeks and hasn't slept in longer than that. Natsuki's comfort was fleeting, a bandage to a bleeding heart.

It was tempting to sleep with Natsuki the night she showed up at his door. But even the embrace of her yoki didn't bring him the refuge he was seeking. She leaves the dining area, a torment to his soul that he has been forced to be so close to so frequently. A small girl with black hair, plaited in two, hands her their son. Tsukimaru whines, reaching for Natsuki, and nuzzles into her breast and a part of him is saddened his son isn't reaching for him this time.

He turns away stroking the scar on his heart through his crimson silk haori. It stings. What is it, my heart?

He exits the castle down the stairs at the entrance, only to be ambushed. This time there are five of them. He rolls his eyes. Battle is not what they need now. For seconds he considers reminding them who is stronger until one is behind him with a grip around his neck, the others reach for his arms, another reaches for his katana. He swirls in the air, rolling the one on his back, throwing him. His back burns as it's been hacked into and blood drips down his skin.

He twists into the second one, elbowing him harshly in the stomach, and with a satisfying snap, the rib cage is broken. Bakusaiga is drawn and a load of voltaic energy that cracks the skies like lightning is released. The blast fells two of his enemies, scalding the third, the fourth is gasping for air from the broken rib and the final one hovers, keeping his distance. "Leave," he warns them, prepared to end the final three. Battle…more bloodshed, when our blood is being shed below.

"Kensaku has placed a bounty on your head," the brown haired one speaks. "A bounty that is forfeit if you return to the castle."

He smirks in disbelief. Raising his katana, he slashes it through the air, sending waves of voltaic energy over their heads in threat.

They dodge, missing the bolts as he hoped they would, then retreat.

His journey resumes.

Rin lands on her back, sliding across the dry dirt, with Hisato standing over her. Sesshomaru observes from the trees as she pulls herself off the ground. The guard comments on her form, how she should square her shoulders, widen her feet and then they begin to spar again. Hisato flies over her head, landing behind her. Rin tries to flip onto his shoulders but she isn't fast enough. Hisato catches her by the arm and tosses her, sending her flying.

"Dammit!" she fumes, panting on her back. She's dressed in short black kimono, bearing her beautifully toned legs.

He finally moves from the trees into the clearing, unsure of how she will take his presence. He left her furious three weeks before. No words had passed between them in that time. "I should have known that you would come," she says approaching him, her scent is cautious. "Hisato, you can go." She massages her shoulder, rolling it, wincing. "I think I have some new scrapes."

He circles her, licking his thumb, sliding the saliva into the wounds. Their fingers intertwine as he leads her to walk around their lake. The lake feeds their garden with irrigation, something Kagome taught them about. Surrounding the edge of the lake are apple, pear and orange trees. He picks an orange from the tree as they pass it and hands it to her. "You're frustrated."

"I can't land that move. He's too fast." She begins peeling the orange, filling the air with the sweet scent of citrus. "I guess we need to talk about what happened." The peels are tossed to the side and she breaks a plump piece off.

"We did not part on good terms." They walk quietly together. "Where are the children?"

"Taisho took them for an adventure outside the barrier with Katsumoto and Sato. They wanted to help with the hunting. He's masking them with a small reiki barrier. I don't like what you did."

He nods in agreement. "Children must learn their limits."

"By beating them?" She eats another orange slice and he turns to kiss her. He dips his tongue into her mouth, swirling it around the fruit, then across her lips. "She was already upset by what happened." Her arms wrap around his waist, then she backs up as she removes his armor to get closer to him.

"Rin..."

"It doesn't make sense, you stopped Kaede-sama from caning me, how could you do that to Yuki?"

"You and Yuki are not the same. You had no family, you were beaten by the villagers for surviving, kidnapped by Naraku. It was enough and you were an obedient child until you became a teen, but Yuki," he smiles happily. "Yuki is not like you. She has your fire, but she doesn't know her limits. She disregards the rules because she thinks she is strong enough to survive what comes to her. She nearly killed you, Hisato….has she left the barrier again?"

"No," Rin chuckles finishing the orange. "She even asks permission before leaving the house. She apologized to Hisato, to me, to Shiori. How could you do that to her?"

"Chichiue did worse to me. There was a time when I was very young that I also ran away. I was lost for weeks, far from home and kidnapped, held ransom."

"I can't imagine anyone being able to hold you hostage."

"I was a child and we were at war. I was warned not to leave the confines of our home alone. Chichiue and Haha-ue slaughtered their enemies to retrieve me and what was initially a happy reunion, I regretted for years afterwards. It wasn't enough that I was taken. I knew they would come for me. Just like you knew I would always come for you."

"You think she would have done it again after that?"

He nods quietly. "I took no pleasure in what I did to Yuki, my heart. Or how it affected you."

"How much longer? This is taking forever. What's going on up there?"

He shakes his head, sitting down on a boulder and pulling her against his chest. "Another week, maybe more. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"The borders are stable. Katashi and Taisho patrol it regularly. Sota is holding the south. We're safe here for now."

Safe, he thinks, how tentative that safety is with Kensaku's army looming over them. If he ran, he would be seen as a coward, his honor finally vanquished. If he stays, he risks losing them, but if he concedes, the final talk ended with he and Natsuki being excused and negotiations being resumed by his mother and Kensaku.

"I'm tired," he tells her, wrapping an arm around her waist, flying with her back to their home. They land in the garden and he begins removing his layers.

She starts removing the short kimono she wears and the wraps from her hands and feet. His underlayer is peeled off his back, matted with blood. "Sesshomaru?!" He feels her hands running the length of his back. He glances over his shoulder to see five gashes from the back of his neck down to his tailbone.

"What's going on that you can't tell me?" her voice echoes in disbelief.

Her eyes break him, but he refuses to tell her that she is the cause of this, that he is fighting to keep her safe. He slides into the water instead, ignoring the sting of the sulfur as it sluices into the gashes. He rests against the ledge as he feels his hair gathered behind his head. She lifts the stone bowl they keep next to the springs, dipping it into the water and pouring the liquid over his head. He exhales heavily, forgetting how whole her touch makes him feel and reminded how fleeting Natsuki's yoki was. His eyes close and she is just as quiet as he is as she scrubs the nape of his neck. He groans in comfort, leaning into her firm fingers. His eyes open to see her nude and beautiful, but exhaustion keeps him from becoming aroused.

She starts on his shoulders and back next. "Lean forward, my love," she pushes on his shoulders and his back burns as he does. "These are bad." He can feel her fingers running along them, examining them. "Sesshomaru? Who did this to you? They look like your claws." Her voice is washed in worry and again he shakes his head, remaining silent. There is strength in silence, he doesn't have to admit that he's seen Natsuki almost daily for the last three weeks, that he nearly bedded her, or that he had tasted her lips again. It's like he's being torn in two.

She rinses his back, cleaning the knows that she'll want to wrap them before he leaves. She slides into the water and stands in front of him smiling meekly, but even the water of the springs isn't hiding her arousal. The way she licks her lips is so inviting but he's so tired. She finishes his front and they climb out together. He goes to gather his clothes for the servants to wash, when she tugs his haori out of his hands. He turns to her curiously, cocking an eyebrow.

She brings it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. "It smells like you. I haven't slept well in two weeks. I'll have them wash it when you get home."

He tugs her into his arms and slowly kisses her lips, luxuriating in their warmth. He licks the inside of her mouth then hangs his crescent moon over her forehead. "I need sleep. Come to bed with me."

"What if the kids need me?"

"The servants will care for them," he takes her hand and leads her into their bedroom. "We need to move our bedding," he says quietly as he lays down.

"It will be night soon," she says laying down with him. He rolls her onto her back and then rests his head between her breasts. "The children will need dinner."

"We have servants," he reminds her again, somewhat annoyed.

She exhales, caressing his chin and his ears. "So…you aren't…"

"Rin," it comes out more tersely. "I'm tired." He resists reminding her the many nights he holds her for hours until she is deep in sleep and the mornings he returns an hour before she wakes, so she wakes in his arms. His eyes close quickly and sleep overtakes him. This is what he needed. Rin, he nuzzles deeper into her the valley of her breasts. I've missed you. "Sleep, my love," he hears her whisper near his ears.

It's dark by the time he wakes and he is in full alert. A flood of yoki is in the bedroom with him. He stands up completely naked to find his mother standing over him, staring at him. He slashes at her waist and she leaps backwards, missing the blow. "Mother," he snarls out.

"Do you know what I had to do to keep Kensaku from sieging your home? We agreed you would not leave until the matter was settled."

He stands up only slightly abashed that he is completely nude in front of his mother. "Get out."

"You need to return," she says firmly, folding her arms like two serpents beneath her breasts.

"Mother," he warns her, "I'm 922 years old. Is there a reason you are in my bedroom?"

"I was worried about you," she says, opening the door to the garden. "Hurry up."

He pulls on a pair of sky-blue hikama with a white haori and another layer on top of that. It's only then he notices that Rin is not in the room with him. He closes his eyes, attempting to stifle his frustration with her. He would have made love to her when he woke, if she were there. "I will not hide behind you."

"You are not hiding behind me, Sesshomaru. I am merely facilitating the agreement and avoiding losing another child."

"This Sesshomaru is not a child."

"This Sesshomaru is my son and I will not lose you," she embraces him and he stiffens, unable to remember the last time his mother had held him. "He will kill you, Sesshomaru. The five that ambushed you outside the castle are just the beginning."

"How many?" Uncomfortably his arms wind around her narrow, bony shoulders.

"300 in humanoid form and two hundred dogs. Your lover, your children, you….you will not survive. Come back to my home now, so you will live to see your family again."

The door to the hallway cracks open and Rin enters the room. His mother shakes her head and leaves the garden. Sesshomaru leans against the open door, deep in thought, trying to decide what to do. His heart is here in this home, but he can't fight that many and he won't run and what is even more ridiculous is that Kensaku would risk a war, now of all times. When their blood is already being shed, this isn't the time to fight amongst themselves. "Come to bed my love," Rin says seductively taking him by the hand and he allows it. "Were you going to leave?"

"You were gone."

"Harutoga stepped on a snake and it bit his ankle and he wouldn't stop crying until I came. I needed to bandage it and give him the antidote. They're sleeping now." She loops her arm over his shoulders, kissing his lips. "Come to bed," she purrs in his ears, taking him by the hand, and then the hot summer morning overtakes the morning dew and he finds himself being drawn in and follows behind her. "They knew you were here. I told them you were sleeping," she turns around giving him a full frontal show of untying her turquoise obi, a gift he brought back for her to celebrate the birthday Kagome had made up for her. She slides it off her waist, then poses on the ball of one foot.

"I must return." He releases her hand with every intention of turning around, but kami, she is beautiful.

The plain peach colored kimono falls off her shoulders and there is nothing underneath. Her nipples are brown and puckered, her skin tanned from the summer sun and the curves of her waist. He licks his lips and falls into her embrace, throwing his armor to the side and hitching her legs around his waist, tripping over tangled silver sheets and gold pillows until she is pressed against the wall. "This must be quick." He kisses around her neck, collar bone and shoulders.

"Mmmh." Her head falls back as she grinds against his clothed shaft. She pushes back on his shoulders, ending their embrace as she drops her legs to the futon and stretches out, cat-like on all fours wagging her backside at him.

He tosses off his armor, his swords, unties his outer obi, then loosens his hikama enough to expose himself, then drops between her legs cupping her at first.

"I don't have to finish, Sesshomaru," Rin smiles back at him. "It can be about you this time."

He dips inside of her gasping, forgetting how tight, how she squeezes him like a furnace, steaming his erection. He looses his haori and inner layer to feel the heat of her skin against his chest and begins slow. One arm loops around her waist, separating her petals, exposing her bud and begins rubbing it gently. "So wet already?"

"It burns so much it hurts," she rocks her hips back and forth with him. His touch alone makes her clench against his shaft, sweetening the thrusts.

"What do you do when I'm not home," he licks the line of her back making her moan and arch her back into his mouth. He begins thrusting slowly to give her time to accept his length, then his fingers dance, intimately against her bud making her shudder.

"Oh…" He can see her muscles flexing. "I try…"

"You touch yourself?" He laps at her neck, nipping at the tender flesh.

"It isn't the same, not like this. Harder," she's already out of breath as she pleads.

He nearly chuckles watching her grip adjust as she stands on her knees, wrapping her arms backwards around his neck. He can feel her hardening and begin to drip down his member. He cups one breast, while speeding his ministrations below, while capturing her lips. Their tongues lap at each other. Together they pant as they breathe in the flames of their passion. This is what I needed…how could I? He curses his instinct, for making him think comfort could be sought somewhere else. Natsuki was entirely too selfish and self-centered to know him like Rin, to bathe his body, to cry his name, to orgasm so hard against him that his semen and her wetness drip down his front. "I love you," he breathes against her neck. "My heart."

"My love," she says quietly as he removes himself from her body. "Be safe?"

He can't answer that honestly. He wipes himself with their sheet, then exits into the hallway finding Katsumoto and Hisato leaning against the wall. "Hisato," he calls the sentinel to him.

Hisato kicks off the wall and follows. Sesshomaru paces, closing his eyes. "I have your loyalty?"

"Always."

"Even if it means defying your lover?"

"I have sworn to protect Rin and the children."

"If I don't return, if an army comes, save them. Do not stay and fight. Take them West, across the ocean, into China, take Katsumoto with you."

"Katsumoto?" Hisato mutters confused under his breath.

"There is a connection between him and Yuki. You don't see it?"

"Not yet."

"She will come of age around one hundred thirty years. See that it is he who takes her virginity, who relieves her heat." His heart aches, as if he is delivering his last will, the way his father had, when he passed.

"I will."

"Make sure she loves again…Kohaku was always fond of her. He will love her and my children."

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Hisato questions.

He swallows harshly. "Their katanas are in my study. Bakusaiga will go to Taiyomaru. You will send Tenseiga to Bukoseno for Tsukimaru. They will outlive her…you will…love my children?"

"I already love your children, Sesshomaru-sama. You have my word, on my honor and the honor of my family name, your children and your lover will be protected and I will carry out all that you have asked, even if it is against the will of Gobodo-sama."

Sesshomaru says no more. He opens the door to the children's room watching them sleep. Yuki is always in the middle. Her long silver hair is splayed around her shoulders. Taiyomaru is against her back snoring, while Harutoga is curled into her chest, with an arm around her neck. He smiles kneeling down, stroking the streaked hair of his middle son and then caressing the tip of the ear of his youngest, second to youngest. He closes his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. He exits out of their turquoise blue door to the garden, taking one last look at the sakura tree, the hot springs. The vision of their first pairing flashes in his vision. He sat against the tree, she straddled his lap, afraid of allowing him to enter her.

I'm scared.

It won't hurt if you accept me as I enter.

Does it hurt?

It stings.

I love you, Sesshomaru.

I love you, Rin.

Tsukimaru squirms in his arms as he sits in Sesshomaru's mother's room. She holds her meido stone in her hands. In each bedroom there is a bench that overlooks the evening sky. She has been quiet as the arguments have raged on. Another hitch of being immortal, arguments don't need to be settled immediately.

She gazes into the nothingness before them, eyes distant and pensive. "You have to, Sesshomaru. If you don't he will bring a force against your home."

"I will not," he rolls his eyes, feeling his chest tighten.

"Can you stand against an army? You have what? Five sentinels, four with tainted blood, one of them my lover, a pure-blooded puppy and a twenty year old nephew who is still beginning to understand his power."

"A hanyou brother and his Miko wife. I am not helpless in allies. You forget my other nephew married a pure-blooded wolf demon," he says firmly.

"Is this honestly what you want? Your father would not make these kinds of concessions. A true leader knows his duty to his people. The monks and the mikos are already spilling enough demon blood."

He rests his chin on the top of his son's head. Tsukimaru chews on his father's fingers and blows spit bubbles. Saliva drips down his fingers onto his lap. "I made a promise."

She rests her hand on top of his like when he was a child. "It was a stupid promise."

He sees something in her eyes he never noticed before. His hand shoots out, grabbing her chin. He turns her face to his and tilts his head ever so slightly to the side. "You were in love with him." A small light that is overcast by another rests behind the pupils of her eyes.

"Nearly a thousand years and you finally see it." She laughs, taking his hand down and holding it in her own. "I loved him very much. Do you know what it feels like to bury two lovers?"

"You were unfaithful."

"I wasn't exactly. But your father wouldn't hear it. His heart broke."

"You killed Touma's father easily."

"Not before he impregnated me and gave me a deranged child, destroying my bond to Toga. I was in heat, Sesshomaru, I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't think straight and Toga was nowhere near here to relieve me of it and too full of pride to forgive me. Takehiko violated me and because I did not resist," her voice breaks, the first time he has ever seen her cry.

"He violated you." It causes an ache in his heart. Another flaw of their kind: if the heat isn't satiated, they will go mad with need and bed whatever male is nearest to resolve their needs. Takehiko knew that his mother was with another.

"As Touma did with yours." She breathes back the tears. "I think we have the better ending, though." She forces a smile at Tsukimaru.

He stares into the expanse beyond them. Memories of an empty childhood flit into his mind. His mother left him when he was weaned in his father's lands and rarely visited, most likely only long enough to satiate the needs of their bond, then leave. "You never visited."

"You're as sentimental as your father was." She takes the child from his arms and sits him in her lap.

"When will he learn to speak?" he asks her.

"You can't remember?" She slaps his shoulder playfully. "You were always such a serious child."

"It has been a very long time since I was a child and around my own kind," he replies quietly. "I did not like children until…" He hated them. Rin was the first child he had been around in centuries and her antics gave him warmth.

"In another five years perchance. Don't be fooled, he already follows directions. He can track by scent. His yoki is bubbling within him." She tickles the baby's chin. "At least I get to spend time with this one." Her gaze shifts again. She cups Sesshomaru's chin.

He shakes his head. "I can't do this to her."

"Does she know what you have given up to be with her? Does she appreciate that you are ostracized from your kind, that you have to end life after life for her? Or that you have nearly died on many occasions to ensure her life?" Gobodo-sama inquires. "Without that barrier, what you do, allowing mixed relationships in your village, she would be dead. You are the laughing stock of our kind, Sesshomaru. Does she appreciate that?"

"I don't know," the words come out silently. There are times he feels like she doesn't, that the expectation is that he should constantly be the giver, the provider. "It is not a conversation we have had. I…have not shared those details with her. I bear the shame alone. I cannot do this to her again."

"Then don't tell her. Do you think Izayoi knew of me? It wasn't until after his death that your existence was made known because you wanted that ridiculous katana that belonged to your father." She points out the window. "Shooting star."

He smiles. "You used to tell me to make a wish. I wished for you to be near me," he holds her hand in his. There were moments after particularly difficult sparring sessions, when his body was bruised and bleeding, that he missed his mother's embrace. Or times when he felt alone despite the other children. Thoughts he would never voice, the ones he kept hidden and learned to bury with the rest of his emotions.

"She's made you soft," she hisses at him, squeezing his fingers. "But she brought us closer together. A time will come when you will regret spilling the blood of your own kind so easily Sesshomaru. Something dark is brewing. Even I can feel it from up here."

"Do you know what it is?"

"If I did, I would try to stop it. My skin has been crawling since before the rumors began. The Miko, the woman out of time, Sesshomaru, do we exist in her time?"

"Is that what this is about?" Take care of them? Please? An odd request when in the past Kagome said he did not exist. He sensed no lie when she said it, but then why would she ask?

"Make your choice, Sesshomaru," she says quietly. "Do you remember the game we played when you were a child?" She pointed at one of the stars. "The brightest."

He pointed at another. "The oldest."

She found one that was higher in the sky. "The wisest."

He searched for another that rest near a brilliantly lit star. "The son."

"The mother." She rests her head against his shoulder pointing to the brightest light.

"Did you really forget your name?"

"Taka," she nudges his shoulder. "But not even Hisato knows that."

"How old are you?"

"I did forget that. I have seen many centuries, many lifetimes. I knew your father when he was a boy and his father before him and the one before that…your sister would be over three thousand years old now. You know what it's like to lose a child during pregnancy, Sesshomaru, but not during life. The pain is worse, when you've seen them worship the ground you walk on like Yuki, or when they can't sleep unless you tell them a story like Taiyomaru, or when you share the same quiet space for hours like Harutoga. If his forces attack your home, are you ready to bury Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru? They would not survive and he would hunt them to the ends of the earth."

He snarls frustrated. He knows she is right. "What does he want?"

"We settled on you showing the same respect to Natsuki as you did to Rin. You will spend a week in seclusion in your room here. No need to travel to the Villa, and if the time comes and our kind needs shelter, you will provide it freely."

"I would have provided that without this," he closes his eyes and exhales, his chest cramping. How will I resist her for a week in the same space? Another lie, more secrets. He must protect Rin. He would not survive a fight against an army and if his life was taken, Rin would forever be in peril, never finding peace. She would lose the protection he had afforded her.

"Your father raised you to pick your battles carefully, Sesshomaru." She grabs his left arm. "You lost this from arrogance and overconfidence. If you push Kensaku, you will lose more than an arm."

He purses his lips. "Send her to my room," he rests his forehead in his palm. "Rin will not know of this." He pauses deep in thought, remembering Taiyomaru's acts of taking pain from Rin and healing Yuki's back. "Mother, is it possible for a hanyou to be able to heal others?"

"You're asking about Taiyomaru," she grins proudly standing up, bouncing Tsukimaru on her hip. "A child made by the purest and the most complete love is more than a hanyou, but not quite like us. He is not using his yoki to heal, rather manipulating what is already is there."

"He said my light was inside of Rin, that I asked him to soothe her pain before I came. His intrusion felt... foreign, wrong."

"You'll get used to it, it was just new. He doesn't understand yet, that it's your yoki he can feel and use to heal his mother, and his brother and sister, maybe even you."

"He cannot heal others?"

"No. It's your yoki he can manipulate."

"Transformation?"

"It will be the same as it is for any hanyou and equally as dangerous, if not more so for him. You saw how feral Hisato was in that state, it will be worse for Taiyomaru. If he ever reaches that state, you may not be able to bring him back."

"I'd have to kill him?" He slams his hand against the door, growling.

"You'd have to kill him, until he is old enough to wield a katana." She approaches him and sets a palm on his shoulder. "You're doing the right thing, Sesshomaru. There is no land that would be safe, Kensaku would hunt your family down until they were dead. It's one week, versus giving your family the rest of their lives."

"He will abandon any further attempts to force her into our lives?"

"Yes."

His breath speeds. "I can't resist for a week, you know this."

"She is also your lover. You may love Rin, but you are honor-bound to Natsuki equally. He isn't asking you to love his daughter, simply to honor our traditions. This isn't infidelity, Sesshomaru, it's nurturing what should have been nurtured in the first place had this been done properly."

"Properly?" He claws his own forehead. "No matter what I choose I will hurt Rin. If I defy Kensaku, I risk their deaths, I end my life, leaving her a widow, if I do this…"

"She won't know. You needn't tell her."

"If I kill him?"

"His son is set to inherit his land and title. His lover is vicious and vindictive. Sesshomaru, you are making the right choice."

Why doesn't it feel right?

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**Please review! AHHH anyone curious what's going to happen in that week of seclusion? Poor Sesshomaru, I actually feel bad for him.**

**Truth? Haven't fully written what happens during the week...if you want a nice long chapter let me know and I will write it, in all it's inspiration and glory. If you have things you'd like Natsuki and Sesshomaru to discuss, answers, let me know. **

**Coming next Interlude VIII on February 19th...cause I have no idea what to call Taka/Nina parts. You asked, I delivered.**

**Story plug: Well the shit hit the fan in Kiss of Fate by Kimmigirl9 and I...so please go to her profile and review...fuck people, were allowed to talk about difficult subjects...review...now...thanks...like now...now now...**

**And Sesshomaru and Avalon by Nightbird755...I write Sesshomaru...so my contribution is like 15% but it's an amazing Sess/OC written well and me lurves betaing this story. Please review, it's her first Fanfic and she is making me so proud! **

* * *

**Kimmigirl9: **Thank you! I know, what did you think of this one?

**Mechinex2:** Damn instinct right? Instinct and being pissed at Rin. Natsuki has had five years from Instinct to learn to control herself and her urges. I am not trying to make Rin look bad, these POV's allow emotions to be brought out from the point of view of the characters. The separation from Tsukimaru is taking its toll on Sesshomaru. Hopefully this chapter helps to assuage some of your upset. Next week will be your Taka/Nina POV...Nina's own POV's are coming...later

**Morality:** Now how the hell does that help? Back to the Future isn't my source material. This is my story...so yeah...

**Reaper 007:** Ouch...not like the humans haven't caused pain to the demons either.

**Gogox2:** Well in the anime, Kagura and Sara Asano are not his soulmates...so that means he has less control. There is also no explanation for what happens between 2 youkai...so I made it up myself...he does love Rin, never doubt that but is it fair his entire life has to be about her? Just curious...Corona virus actually makes me think of well...you know that part of the male anatomy that is called the corona.

**Gina:** I know? What a time to write a story about a Disease destroying people...demons...

**Itzatakahashi:** Did I tell you I love your reviews? Like seriously, they brighten my day. I love Natsuki's character too. Bitch at the core, but so good to the storyline. Your reviews literally make my beta-ees dance with joy.

**Luin-fanel:** Thank you! Next week your Taka/Nina Pov will happen. AHHH I know angst...angst!

**Guesswho:** I have a big buffer on this story...It's so far 3 acts...I have the first 2 written and I'm not sure how many chapters they comprise because of the POV's. Thank you for your balanced view. Poor guy is under tons of pressure and misses Tsukimaru and has been forced in close confines with Natsuki a lot recently. Keep reviewing you make me sooooo happy!

**Inu-fan 24:** I'm gonna keep this short. They are both his true mates and no Rin doesn't feel like sloppy seconds because this is Feudal Japan not Victorian England and she is bound to a dog-demon not Prince Charming. You are more cruel than I am, she should abandon her children WTF?

**Harukasempai14: **Natsuki and Rin are equally his soulmates but he only loves deeply one of them, if that makes sense. One is a more animalistic attachment the other one not so much. Yuki is a hard pill to swallow...that kid, let me tell you...she's a brat and a half. Rest assured that Sesshomaru does love Rin, but what he is going through and going to go through...are going to have a serious impact on him.

**Ivriel: **It is definitely one complex mess...they both have to accept each other's worlds...

**New reader: **The time jumps are intense. Henceforth I shall recap. Actually considering the times, he could have taken a second wife, and like you said forced it, but no it's not what he wanted. Have you read the prequels? AHH I'm so excited to have a new reviewer and get to know you!


	29. Interlude VIII-Present

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews!**

**Just a note because people have said this several times about Sesshomaru killing Kensaku or Gobodo-sama. I think sometimes people forget, demons are fallible not gods. If Gobodo-sama could stand against the army, she probably would, but even she can't and she's already buried 2 children, losing a 3rd is not high on her agenda. **

***Personal Note* This story will on hiatus until after March 4th...Sad face...I'm heading into finals for two of my classes and starting a third. As soon as the first two are done, I will be back for most posting and awesomeness! I'm just crunched I can't get into my own damn stories! I have a buffer on this one that is pretty big so it makes it easier but ahhh!**

**Interlude VIII**

_Seconds before, her hands were on his jaw, but then she felt his chin tense, his lips shivered against her fingertips. They were cracked, dry and there was something familiar about them. Just as the convulsions took him, she felt his body slide down hers, then an impact against the bed shook her and the air changed. It became static, fire-like and she saw flames of white and red shooting off the floor, covering the outline of what looked like a man on the floor. She tries getting off the bed to go to the man, but is stopped by Lucy, tugging on the back of her gown to make her stop._

Taka watches in horror as the convulsions eat her father alive. She used to be able to smell them before they happened. He would flush in a layer of sweat that smelled like pine after the summer rains fell and humidity and of course the acid and blood that he often threw up. There were times she scented it from the other end of the castle and was able to get the injection in before he landed on the ground convulsing. This time it happened too quickly, from the moment she could smell it coming. He fell to the floor a second later, hitting his head on the way down. _Chichiue, Chichiue! _she screams at him, trying to rouse his senses. She barks hoping to get the attention of those outside the office. She can smell them, the partly demon children of her Uncle. _Chichiue!_

She leaps off the bed and stops short of transforming to force his arm down as two girls enter the room. One she recognizes by her silver hair and the pathetic attempt at covering the fuzzy ears on her head. But before she can do anything, one of the nurses has her leash and is tugging her out the door, while two more are finishing packing Nina's nose and then leading her out of the room into one of the regular exam rooms. Taka attempts to bolt for the door to the procedure room only to be grabbed by the nurse and hauled off the ground. "If you want to stay you'll have to calm down," the woman says in Japanese.

Taka pants hard, terrified. She can feel the rays of his yoki flashing out. If this had been five hundred years before it would have flamed like a beacon, alerting every monk in a fifty mile radius to his location. She follows with her tail between her legs to the exam room, hearing the commotion in the procedure room. They can't get a line, he's too strong, no one can get an arm down, the two girls are crying.

Taka paces circles in the exam room while the nurses finish pressurizing Nina's nose. Nina is signing in the air, using full signs instead of finger signs. She's panicked and scared. _Why did he fall? What was the light? What's going on? I don't understand._

Taka comes out of her worried haze remembering she has another job to do. She leaps onto the examination table and curls into Nina's lap, licking her chin to get her attention. Nina takes her paw. _Something's wrong, he's hurting. There's fire flying off his body. He's going to die, they don't know what to do._

Nina's skin is pasty white from the blood loss and she wavers. The nurses catch her and help her lay on her side. They try to explain to her what's happening only for her to shake her head. Nina can't understand them with their accents, it's too hard. They tell each other to go get her mother but Nina's fingers move like lightning against Taka's paw. _I'm so scared. I don't feel good. What's going on? Why did they stop? I should have died already?_

_Oh, quiet little one, _Taka licks her face again. _I told you I won't let you die. If only I had Tsuki's blood. I hope you're dazed enough for this._

The other nurse hooks up a bag to Nina's port-a-cath that reads platelets.

Taka leaps off the bed, transforming, and picks up Nina's hand. _You're fine. The bleeding stopped. The doctor will be back in soon._

_Who are you?_

_Your friend. _Taka leans over and kisses Nina's forehead, stroking her hair. She runs to the door, listening. There are feet running this way and that. She cracks the door to see the procedure room at the end of the hall. "He's not answering!" one of the girls cries. _Tsukimaru, _Taka knows who they are calling, he lives closer than Taiyomaru. She ducks back into the room, digging her cell phone out of her pocket. "Fuck, you better answer!" she grips the countertop leaving indentations with her claws. The line clicks on.

"Taka?"

"Tsuki, listen to me, it's Chichiue, it's bad this time—"

"Taka wait where—"

"For once you shut up! Right now Tsuki! And listen to me! This is all your fault! Everything is your fault!" she screams, pained into the phone. "I hate you! And I hate myself for what you made me do!"

At first there is silence on the other end of the line. "I'm listening," he says.

"Mayumi and Izayoi are trying to call you. Answer them, you didn't hear it from me. Chichiue is convulsing, he can't stop. He's in the office and if you say it was me who said something I swear on his honor that I will kill you."

"We both know you can't."

"Then Taiyomaru and Harutoga and Yuki will help me." She breathes fitfully. "Answer the goddamn phone and help Chichiue before he dies!" Footsteps coming make her stash her phone and transform back into Lucy, the loveable white dog. She jumps onto the exam table, resting her head in Nina's lap.

Hanna comes in with Dr. sits in the swivel chair while Hannah rushes to Nina's side. "Good girl, Lucy," she takes a treat from her bag and feeds Taka.

_These taste like shit. _Taka takes it and kisses Hannah.

"I don't understand, what's going on?" Hannah asks Dr. Yamamoto.

He's an odd man, slightly short and squat, with a round face and salt and pepper hair. "There's an issue with the treatment."

_Of course he doesn't say Chichiue is dying. Kami, Chichiue, I'm so sorry._

"The dog looks very sad," Dr. Yamamoto comments.

Hannah stares at Lucy petting her. "What's wrong girl?"

Taka snuggles into the hand feeling pathetic, unloved, and like a child again. _Chichiue…please…_

"We flew across the globe to have this treatment. She's dying," Hannah argues, stroking Nina's hair.

"I'm aware of that. There was a complication with one of our medical staff we're caring for now. Once it's handled, I'll be back to discuss treatment for Nina."

_What do you mean? _Taka thinks nervously. _Give it to her…_

_She knows the warm embrace of Hannah and the smell of the soap she uses to wash herself. She recognizes her hand as it comes into her palms, telling her that the treatment was delayed and they had an emergency with one of their staff. Nina nods weakly, feeling so very tired from the loss of blood. She curls into Hannah's lap and drifts to sleep, to darkness. to dreams._

_He's come home from a long absence, the first time he left after they had their second baby. The baby isn't quite like the first. He has white hair with a black streak down one of his ears. He spent three weeks at home with her, loving her, holding her and playing with their daughter. He lands and as always the first person he approaches is her. He kisses her so deeply she sees stars and then leans his mouth against her ear. "You're still bleeding, my heart."_

"_It will end soon, my love." She presses her lips into his and their tongues tangle._

"_Pain?"_

"_Dull."_

"_My warrior," he nuzzles her nose affectionately._

"_Chichiue!" The girl calls him, pouncing into his arms. "Can we play hide and seek?"_

"_Go on, I need to nurse." She turns from him._

"_I will use my nose!" the little girl squeals._

_She feels like the luckiest woman alive, to be loved so whole and so completely._

Hannah and Nina fall asleep together and Taka takes it as her cue to leave the room. She bites the handle, forcing the door open, and follows her ears. The first stop is the procedure room where she sees her father alone, hooked up to a large bag of blood. She knows that smell, Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru's combined blood. His eyes are tightly shut, gaunt, making him look haunted. His markings, ears and mokomoko are visible."Taka?"

Taka nearly peels out of her own fur to see Harutoga standing next to her. She hadn't been paying attention to her surroundings. _Is he going to be okay?_

Harutoga kneels down and kisses her nose. "No…"

_What about Nina?_

Harutoga bites his lower lip and exhales heavily. "Yamamoto-sama refuses to give the treatment until he speaks to Chichiue. He said it's unethical to use demon blood any longer. He's fighting with your mother right now. She's threatening to destroy the building."

_Don't tell her I'm here. She'll make me go back, she'll lock me in the castle again._

"Mask your scent, she's so busy with Chichiue she isn't thinking of anything else. Show me the girl."

Taka nods and leads Harutoga back to Nina and Hannah as they sleep. Harutoga steps in behind her, opening his mouth in shock. "She looks just like Ka-san." Harutoga touches Nina's head and then leans over her, sniffing her hair. "And smells like her too. We missed her death. Chichiue sent messengers. He said it happened quickly and then…" Harutoga stops.

_It's not my fault you know…she was in heat, she needed him too. Why can't it be that he could take care of both of them? Why does it have to be like this? He loved her, you know that. I didn't ask to be conceived after her death and he was honor-bound to Haha-ue. He would have humiliated himself not to give her what she needed. Tsuki said it was awful, the way he left her in heat for months._

"Maybe it's anger. She destroyed part of my childhood," Harutoga sits down on the floor.

_But you love both of your lovers…what if you had met them at the same time?_

"I could resist because I'm hanyou."

_He couldn't. She has their memories, Harutoga. Please, make them treat her. Make them give her the medicine. She doesn't deserve to die again, not like this. I've been using my blood, making her drink it at night, but it's not like Tsuki's._

"I'll see what I can do. Stay out of sight, or your mother will find you."

Waves of heat hit Taka's nose and she waits to see how long it takes Harutoga to smell it too. Nina smells like a hot summer morning and to anyone else, she probably sounds like she is in pain, the way she is moaning quietly.

"Is she dreaming?" Harutoga asks dumbfounded.

_About fucking Chichiue? Yep._

"I'm going now."

Taka runs circles around his feet to stop him. _Why? You don't want to know what he can do with his tongue? Or that his favorite position was on all fours, or that she liked it best when he sucked on her clit? _

"Taka!" he hisses through clenched teeth.

_Why should I be the only one that has to get mental pictures of your mother and Chichiue? _She leaps onto the exam table to curl up next to Nina and Hannah. _At least it isn't my mother. Yours screamed like a cat. Oh Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! Oh oh! Fuck me! Yes! _

Harutoga covers his mouth to hide his laughter. _Bye Taka. _

_Bye Ni-san, _she says.

She waits for the door to close again then transforms. They left Nina hooked up to platelets. She forces the cabinet doors open, melting the locks until she finds a syringe. She removes the safety and flexes her arm, forcing a vein out and removes her own blood. _I hope this helps, _she thinks as she injects it into Nina's central line. _Please, hang on… just a little longer._

_His hands run up her body, from behind, holding her breasts, twirling her nipples. They slide down her sides, to run between her legs, before his middle finger finds her sweet spot. It's not just his touch that feels so at home, it's him, what he says, the way he cares for her needs, the way he loves her. Their bodies fold together like two pieces of the same puzzle and she pants beneath him as he pumps inside of her. _

_What's your name? Who are you? Why do I always dream about you?_

_My heart…_

_My love… _

**_Please review! _**

**_Just a reminder if you skipped the authors note above...this story is on hiatus until after March 4th...I'll only be editing for my beta-ees and helping them post, because I have entirely too much homework and must focus...must must must..._**

**_I'm not sure which stories to recommend this week. I haven't had time to read new fanfics yet._**

**_Mechine: _**There will be more chances and I'm okay not winning. The winner for angst was akitokohojo who has a great following than I do. I'm not bitter, it was fun. Sesshomaru said Natsuki never approached them again and she hasn't. This whole thing happening up there is not her doing but her father's. I know it's so unfair what Kensaku is doing to them and I also don't want them tied more closely together. The whole situation is sooooo messed up. I also started crying writing that portion where Sesshomaru was giving his last instructions to Hisato.

**Inu-fan 24: **Again you are mean...why would any rational mother abandon their children? Just because kids play favorites doesn't mean you ditch them...

**Morality: **Putting you in the same vein as Inu-fan...how does abandonment do anything for anyone...Sesshomaru does not love Natsuki more, he does not love Tsukimaru more. Obviously you don't have kids, because it is very normal for them to have a skewed sense of reality and favor one parents over the other. They never saw there mother as the warrior because by that point she had to step back to care for them...

**Warrior Hawk: **I know, it is like seeing a bad car wreck. I did not read the story you mentioned is it on FFN or AO3?

**Kimmigirl9: **I know, their lemon was yummy! It had to be a quickie, but the emotion in this chapter!

**Smmahamazing: **I don't know, I honestly just write and go with what I feel, but then somehow give other people a case of the feels too! I have a bit of the Sess/Natsuki chapter written...the only problem is if I don't write it I guess your imagination will fill in the blanks. You can imagine he was able to fight his instinct or that he caved. And yes, Taka...ahh the name, it made me cry writing that too.

**itzatakahashi: **I know he is so calm and cool and I swear I literally write to see how to emotionally break him...I'm mean...But I am fascinated with his character. He definitely needs to give Rin more credit. He may be concerned though because remember she left with his children last time. He also has emotional scars.

**Gina: **The past has something to do with the future, but I can't say what or I'll spoil my whole damn plot...also the Disease killing the demons was requested for me to write...and I can't write a plain reincarnation tale...I tried both separately and it didn't work, so we get this instead.

**Guest#1: **Yes because only Rin matters and what Sesshomaru feels should be disregarded...sorry but I'm kinda tired of reviewers who only think about her and not him and don't see the bigger picture.

**Guesswho: **Thank you for getting it that Sesshomaru is at his wits end with everything going on and literally exhausted having to deal with it. His mother may have pushed a bit, but I think Gobodo-sama is also speaking some truth...how much of himself is giving up and are his sacrifices appreciated? You are right he loves her deeply and they fight like any normal couple does. Thank you!

**Harukasempai14: **His mother doesn't favor anyone...I think it's easier to see it like that than the situation for what it is. Sesshomaru will die if he fights Kensaku's army and even if his mother helped...they would both die and she doesn't want to leave Rin a widow. She didn't cheat she was raped, big difference...So if you hate him for naming his fullblooded daughter Taka, what about Harutoga? He was named after both their fathers. Haru for Rin's father and Toga for Sesshomaru's father. Harutoga...What you are seeing is a mother trying to avoid a third child's death...and as far as she is concerned Sesshomaru isn't cheating. Natsuki and Rin are both his soulmates, so in her eyes there is no infidelity.

**Luin-fanel: **Tu puedes critica me en espanol, puedo comprender. Yes, being Natsuki is the lesser of the two evils so I am so glad you see that!

**New Readerx2: **Truth...all guest reviews are on moderation. I know, I'm mean...but I got flames on trafficked and after that I decided that in order to protect the integrity of my stories, I will not approve anonymous reviews that have obviously not read the story, or are just attacking me as a writer or are condescending. If the review is posted at night it may not show up until the AM when I approve it. I also got flames on Instinct and deleted those too...I approve 99.9% of reviews but sometimes...I loved the SessRin moments in this chapter too. Natsuki is not trying to score points with Sesshomaru...at this point she and Rin are friends and she is trying to make up for doing what she did...and yes forgiving something like very hard. He and his mother became close after Lost Memories. She has always wanted what is best for him as for 2 soulmates I explained it to someone on Ao3 like this. Someone gets married, say they are married for 10 years and the spouse dies unexpectedly. They meet someone knew and fall in love again and love this one as much as that one...ergo loving 2 people. Honestly I can sympathize because I love my husband and I also love the first guy I dated...they were different and I was probably compatible with both but one wasn't able to commit. As I mentioned above there seems to be a running theme that Sesshomaru has god-like powers to stand against anything and anyone and he doesn't...if he goes after Kensaku he goes after an army, if the army kills him, he leaves Rin a widow and his children fatherless, something he is trying to avoid. He is very close to his mother after Lost Memories and he knows she only wants peace...rather pragmatic peace.

**Reaper 007: **She was brutal huh? Natsuki poor thing gets so much hate and I love her LOL...Thanks for the review!


	30. Mayumi-Present III

**I'm back! Hurray! Wow thank you all so much for the amazing support writing this story! We crossed 200 reviews! I never thought, ever in a million years I would get more than 50 or even 100 on Instinct, but over 200? You all are amazing and I am so grateful to you!**

**The amazing Laureninthsky96 has been beta'ing for me, catching all my spelling and grammar errors so thank you!**

**And I passed my finals! 4 classes left and my Bachelors will hopefully be done! So excited!**

* * *

**Mayumi-present**

She watches him convulse through a crack in the door. No sooner does her uncle hit the floor than blood blooms from his throat, coating the tiles in red. "This isn't epilepsy," Yamamoto-sama says as he lands on his knees next to her convulsing Uncle.

Sesshomaru's fists are balled so tightly that he cuts into his own palms with his claws. Mayumi bites the inside of her cheek. Izayoi runs in with another needle filled with medicine. It's never been this bad before. He's choking on his own blood. For the first time, he can't control his transformation. Mayumi sees that his mokomoko is becoming visible. The power of the tremors and the sweat are washing off the makeup he uses to cover his stripes. His ears have fallen out of their hiding place. "Call Tsukimaru, quickly. If he doesn't answer, call Taiyomaru," Izayoi hands Mayumi a cell phone.

She can't take her eyes off him. The patient they were working on, with white eyes that are scarred around the edges is led from the room with her dog who won't stop barking.

"Now!" Izayoi yells at her.

Her fingers tremble as she unlocks the cellphone and brings up Tsukimaru's number. "Please answer…" she cries, finally entering the room.

"What is this?" Yamamoto-sama asks Izayoi.

The Mokomoko is visible, the fangs, the pointed ears and the markings. Izayoi tries getting the needle in, but this time she can't. He's shaking too hard for her to hit the neck vein.

The nurses rush into the room. There are four of them there helping in the office, all females. They slide on their knees through the blood that her Uncle chokes on. His white hair is now half crimson and he can't breathe. "Get me suction," one of the nurses is thrown off him as she tries to hold him down. It takes three just to pin one shoulder down and keep his neck still so they can suction the blood from his throat.

"He's not answering!" Mayumi cries to her sister. She tries Taiyomaru but it also goes straight to voicemail.

"Natsuki doesn't have a phone," Izayoi takes the phone and texts Tsukimaru, she hands the phone back. Their feet are covered in blood.

"Dilantin," Yamamoto-sama calls to Yoshi.

The younger doctor rummages through a cabinet searching for the drug. Mayumi can't move. She kneels down next to Sesshomaru. "Send for her, Ojisama? Please? If you can hear me, call her!" Natsuki can help when it's this bad, but she hates phones and computers. She refuses to use them, but their bond allows her to somewhat control his body.

Yoshi fills a needle and just as he is about to try to stick it into her Uncle's skin, Izayoi can be quiet no longer.

"No!" the elder sister screams at them while they hold her uncle down by the shoulders. "It's not epilepsy," she sobs as she removes her scarf from her head, bearing pointed ears as proof they have not been honest about themselves. They wiggle lightly to prove they are real and not just decoration. "He's not human…It's from a disease he was infected with five hundred years ago. He's a dog demon. He's in the end stages of the symptoms." The phone finally starts ringing. She throws it to Mayumi. "He's dying…"

The room stops and all becomes quiet. Yoshi drops the needle and then picks it up, unsure what to do. Izayoi blocks them from getting any closer to Sesshomaru, her ears drooping on the top of her head. "He's dying, this medicine won't help him. He needs his…um…wife," she snivels and wipes her tears. "And the blood of his children."

His mouth is foaming, he's choking. The vein in his neck is bulging and his eyes are changing from gold to red.

Mayumi answers the phone. "Tsukimaru," Mayumi wipes her nose. She's covered in her Uncle's blood. "He's sick. He won't stop throwing up. They can't…" she puts the phone on speaker.

"Izayoi, can you start an IV?" Tsukimaru asks, his voice tinged with pain.

"I can try," Izayoi says. "Sit on him," she tells the doctors and nurses. "You don't understand, it takes all four of his children-" she is cut off by a rush of energy and flash of white light coming into the room.

Mayumi knows the yoki well. Natsuki forms in front of them. "You idiot," she says to Sesshomaru as she kneels by his chest. "Get off him now." She has never made an effort to hide her form, not even when she visits the land. She is dressed in regal Japanese robes, a gold kimono, red and then another gold layer. Her hair is tied in an intricate weave of combs and jewels. Her mokomokai are wrapped over her arms.

"Who are you?" Yoshi demands.

"Shut up," Natsuki barks, weaving her fingers through Sesshomaru's hair and resting her forehead against his. "Calm down, dear one," she mutters against his skin. The yoki rises again, this time from his and from hers. Mayumi can almost see it dancing together. The tremors calm, "Now," Natsuki instructs them.

Izayoi comes in with an IV kit and starts the line in his left arm. "Mayumi, go get Tsukimaru's blood from the fridge. You know which one it is. Natsuki, we don't have Taiyomaru's," she says as Mayumi runs out of the room.

Now they're done for, and Mayumi knows it. The doctors will know that he's been using youkai blood. "I used the emergency phone and 'texted' Taiyomaru before I came. He'll be here soon."

"What's going on?" Yamamoto-sama asks, stunned.

"Shut up," Natsuki barks at him.

Mayumi rushes out of the room but is followed by Yamamoto-sama. She swallows hard as she searches through the bags of blood. She knows which one is her cousin's. It's labeled carefully. She needs the bag that isn't used for their treatments.

"What is going on?" The doctor grabs her by the arm and pins her against the wall. "What is this? Are you human?"

"Mostly," Mayumi tries to push his arm off, "and then not," she lets her blades loose against his skin, enough to graze but not cut.

He curses, sucking on his thumb. "What are you?"

"A quarter dog-demon…my father is a hanyou. He'll start convulsing again if I don't give this to him," she holds up the large bag of blood. "Please?" her voice breaks.

"Come on," he leads her back into the room. "You have a lot of explaining to do," he says as he opens the door for Mayumi.

The nurses have lifted his body onto the stretcher and secured the IV line. Mayumi hands them the bag of Tsukimaru's blood. They connect the bag to the line in his arm and then turn to face a staff that cannot believe what they are seeing. Mayumi lifts up Sesshomaru's hand and squeezes his palm. "Ojisama?" she whispers helplessly. "Please don't die."

* * *

**Please Review...omg another cliffhanger! **

**Coming next: Thursday March 12th, 2020 Natsuki-past**

**Story Recommendation: Warrior Princess by Spiritedranger Not sure the pairing it might be Rin/Kohaku or Rin/Sess...we shall see**

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**Kimmigirl9: **I know, I also laughed and cried in that last chapter. Taka is hysterical. Like poor thing having to deal with Nina's dreams.

**Luin-Fanel:** Yes we are going to cover the entire 10 years in the past and the future...well I'm not sure, if I say, I might give away the plot. I did finish my finals thank Goodness and passed with flying colors! I want to party, but it's tax season and my husband is an accountant so it's like I want to but I can't, so I do my best.

**Mechine:** Thank you for the well wishes. Yes, short hiatus. I got to the point that I was feeling too overwhelmed with posting and getting the rest of my schoolwork done. Why does schoolwork have to trump my fanfiction life? So hiatus over and we are back on track unless school overtakes me again! I know, now I left you another cliffhanger! What are we going to do? I think you can see after this one that Natsuki has been sustaining Sesshomaru's life. I couldn't resist Taka saying something to Harutoga...it was hilarious.

**Inu-fan 24:** Let's try it again...why would any mother in their right mind let go of their kids like that? It's not like there is email, facetime...

**Moralityx2:** Will check it out! I'm always looking for new stories to read. I love stories that make me feel. I will check out What She Desires.

**New Readerx2:** You can spam me all you want! Really the moderation like I said was to protect some of my other stories and also trolls come out in the Sess/Rin pairing because they are used to it being written one way and if you deviate, it's not always good. Sess/Natsuki was not supposed to happen until after Rin died, it was forced in Instinct, which broke my heart to write. OOOO I hope Kensaku backs off and after the next chapter that's the last we see of him forcing Natsuki into their lives. I agree with the line of thought on Sesshomaru basically getting manipulated into having sex which is so wrong and so well rape.

**Gina:** Thank you! I know school must come first, but...I wanna play!

**Smmahamazing: **I think you just followed me on twitter! Thank you so much! I know angst stories get to me too, but I love them. I made myself crack up too writing Taka and Harutoga with the sex life...I mean poor Taka, why should she get all the mental pictures?

**Harukasempai14:** What a thoughtful review thank you! So you hate Taka because she is Natsuki's daughter but love Yuki because she is Rin's daughter, but obviously Taka is better behaved than Yuki, which cracks me up. HEHE I love both girls. It basically was Rape that happened to Gobodo-sama when she conceived Touma and yes I agree, what Sesshomaru is having done to him is also the equivalent of rape, no matter if it was with Natsuki in Instinct or what happens possibly in the next chapter. Your force them into a situation where instinct takes over, it's not right. I definitely think it's just that Rin's reincarnation is coming during Natsuki's time with Sesshomaru because it drives the point home a bit.

**Gogox2:** I agree...rape changes everything. A 13 year old being trafficked and put in that situation is awful but I'll tell you something I told Esther247 after we talked about Kiss of Fate, we often avoid these topics because we don't like them, they hurt us, maybe they bring our own fears in but about the people who use these kinds of stories as avenues for healing? I don't 100% agree with the idea that we are damaged for life, but we do live with our scars. **As Abraham Maslow says, when we shine our light, we unconsciously give others permission to shine theirs. **That's why no one should be afraid to write about sexual abuse.

**itzatakahashi:** Oh wouldn't you like me to tell you! LOL You'll have to read to find out what happens to Sess/Nina...or if anything happens to Sess/Nina...cryptic!

**Nightbird755:** I can't wait for you to read it all!

**Guesswho:** Thank you! I did well thank Goodness and I am so relieved to be done with these two classes. Sess/Sessmom convo broke my heart but I imagine those two got closer because of Rin and their children and yes, her name getting put in there made me happy. Nastuki does not know about Nina yet...at the moment Sesshomaru is well convulsing on the floor so I guess we'll see what happens. HEHE so many questions we have to wait for more chapters for.

**Ivriel:** Yes please read and review my other stories. Reviews make me soooo happy! Sorry I didn't come quiet when I said! I messed up the date of my finals. But they are done and I am back and yes Instinct was a heart breaker. It made me cry like a baby! Hope you liked this chapter!


	31. Natsuki-Past III

**Once again thank you to all my lovely readers! Your support keeps me writing and I love you all!**

**The Controversy of this Chapter...but Natsuki's role is so important and I love her...I am a horrible horrible person because I love Natsuki. She makes me laugh, smile and well...the past happens. **

**This was beta'd by Laureninthesky96 and I swear I keep forgetting to mention that in my stories.**

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**Last time on Star Trek Voyager...wait I mean on the Disease, we left off with Sesshomaru being forced into close quarters with Natsuki this is the result...**

**Natsuki-past**

She walks nervously up the stairs to his room. She is housed in the same corridor as Gobodo-sama, while another one with multiple levels is reserved for Sesshomaru. Her feet want to falter beneath her as she takes one step and then another. Her fingers glide along the golden twisting banister as she finds herself just paces from his shut door. The same little girl with black braids going down her back reaches for their son, as Natsuki enters. "I just fed him," she says to the child who waves Tsukimaru's hand at her while they leave.

Before she can, he opens the doors. He's dressed in a simple white Kimono that is long and covers his knees. His legs are covered in the same hikama. He holds his hand out, motioning her inside. A table has been set by the window with two chairs, hot water, and delicacies that newly-bonded are typically fed. The smell of the raw flesh and blood makes her drool slightly. She licks the side of her mouth as she follows him to the table. "Why did you agree to this?" she asks as she sits down. "These chairs are so odd."

"Mother spent time in the west many centuries ago. She liked sitting in chairs rather than on the floor and copied their style," he pours himself a cup of hot water and begins eating the deer meat in front of him. "For peace, I agreed to this."

"So then we will…" the question is left hanging. The mere thought of disrobing him is making her hot in places she has spent five years trying to forget about. She's learned to care for her own needs, but nothing feels like what he has done to her before.

"No. I will rest on the bench, you will sleep in the bed. That should be enough for your body to carry my scent. We will share meals and perhaps speak. I will not make love to you." He lifts another chunky piece of meat up as blood drips down his fingers. The sky is bright and there are thick, fluffy white clouds circling around the castle. A guard is by the outside door should he decide they need something and a maid will be prepared to answer all their requests.

"You think we can both resist for the next week?" Natsuki chuckles to herself. "As if you don't already feel it bubbling between us."

"I do, and we will ignore it. Keep your yoki to yourself." He drinks the hot water.

"You're stupid for agreeing to this," she scoffs at him, finally beginning to fill her own plate. "My father is a pompous fool. You should just kill him."

"No," he shakes his head. "The bloodshed wouldn't stop there. If I'm not mistaken, you are not set to inherit your father's army, your brother is."

"Shouju." She smiles thinking of the little boy. "Of course, Haha-ue would be outraged and order you and your family killed if you did."

"Enough blood is being spilled below." He closes his eyes breathing heavily. "How do you do this?"

"Your mother is a good teacher. Come with me." She takes his hand, and fire dances between their fingertips. She sits down seiza style on the floor with him across from her. "Put your hands in your lap and breathe deeply. Focus on Rin."

"What?" he balks.

"It helps to focus on the one thing that brings you the most happiness. I think about Tsukimaru, his laugh, his smile, the way his nose wrinkles when he's angry. At first it was difficult, my instincts wanted to return to you. But think about her, every detail, from the top of her head, down to her toes. Scars?"

"Her stomach was marred by Touma's halberd, a scar over her left hip from an ogre. Her back is covered in them from fighting a bear demon—"

"I don't need to know all of them." Natsuki cuts him off, annoyed. _As if he knows my body so well. _ "Then breathe in and out and focus on her, her scent, her hair, her fingers." Her eyes track down his body, seeing a bulge in his pants. _Oh he's thinking of her alright…_He smells like hot tree sap and honey bees. She pinches her nose and starts pacing on the other end of the room to ignore it and when that doesn't help she goes into his washroom, closing and locking the door behind her, wetting a washcloth, then putting it over her nose to stop from smelling him. _I hate you, Chichiue…_

* * *

For two days they managed to avoid physical contact. They shared meals and spoke quietly or sat in silence. Tsukimaru came and went as he was hungry, always brought by the same little girl with long black braids who was happy to take him. "Who is she?" Sesshomaru asks on the third afternoon as the little girl tickles his son's sides as she takes him.

The door closes and Natsuki rolls over in the bed, righting her kimono where she had just finished nursing their baby. "Reiko. She's under the care of your mother."

"She's part human."

"A small part. Her parents are dead, or so I've been told. She's in her thirties and loves Tsukimaru. She watches him for me so I can have some time alone. He loves her." Natsuki grins watching Sesshomaru's face wrinkle in concern. "Is it that hard for you to be away from him?"

"I was never away this often from my other children." He resumes his position by the bench staring at the clouds.

The yearnings are getting worse and they both know it. Natsuki feels his yoki reaching out to hers, tying itself around her, beckoning her to come sit with him, but she refuses.

* * *

By the fourth day, Natsuki aches terribly. Every inch of her body is on fire, especially between her legs. She wants so desperately to feel his touch. He's sweating just as badly in the corner of the room, panting at the struggle to restrain himself. Natsuki is covered in sweat as she finishes feeding their son. She rises up quickly, passing him to a servant outside the door, then shuts it, sliding down the wall and folding herself in around her knees. "I hate you for this," her voice trembles as she speaks. "I hate you."

Sesshomaru is just as shaky when he replies, "I did not ask you to approach me that day in the snow."

"I didn't know that your brother was a liar!"

"Because you had no self-control."

"Because you debased yourself with a human!"

"A HUMAN I LOVE!" he bellows furiously.

"A human who is my friend, and if we do this now?" Natsuki starts crying. The tears run down her cheeks, onto her knees. "We promised each other. I promised."

Sesshomaru begins laughing darkly, curled into his own knees. "What promise?"

"To not make enemies out of our children." Natsuki rubs her arms furious to feel something besides the burn of her yoki. "She told me…what you did to Inuyasha. We agreed."

"You've been to my home when I'm not there for the last five years."

There's no point in denying it. "After I saved her from the ogre, she sought me out in the palace and we agreed that I would not do this to her again. She forgave me and asked me to visit. You know how Taiyomaru loves Tsukimaru. When he was a baby, he wouldn't stop crying and she was so tired. I came and let them cuddle, and she would sleep while I took care of both children."

Sesshomaru rubs his eyes. Natsuki feels his annoyance, but also the gratitude behind it. "He was a very difficult baby." He smacks his head against the wall, his chest rising and falling heavily. "He still does not sleep when I am not home."

"I know," Natsuki finally uncovers her eyes from her knees. "We still visit. Now he takes Tsukimaru to a tree or to bed and cuddles him to sleep. They are very close," she says proudly.

Sesshomaru rises off the windowsill and saunters over to Natsuki, sitting down next to her. He holds her hands in his and says quietly, "you are also mine."

"No," she shakes her head, with tears running down her eyes. "Rin is my friend…my only friend, the mother of my son's siblings. Please?"

He picks her lips up and she can't resist, the pain of separation and being so closely cordoned together is taking over. She holds his face as if it is her life, and returns the passion that he gives her. "You are also mine," he says firmly, pressing his mouth into hers again. "You need not tell her."

"Please?" Natsuki tries to force her body to calm itself, but it's no use. "I don't want to betray her."

Sesshomaru pulls her into his body, holding her. "We cannot resist another three days."

"Then only once and no more? Please? I love your human."

He laughs stroking her back. "Once and no more."

"Don't tell her you know I come. She doesn't want to upset you."

"I will say nothing." He pushes back the layers of her kimonos and as he does, relief washes through her. She can't resist, but if they give in once, just this once, what harm could it do?

* * *

Once became twice, and then three times, and on the seventh day, hours before they were due to be released, Natsuki rests comfortable against his chest while he plays with the ends of her hair. She can feel his guilt, his disgust with himself for being unable to resist, and she feels it too. "Why is it always like this?" she asks, tiredly, finding comfort against his skin.

"Because you chose not to wait," he answers plainly, emotionlessly.

"Did you want more than one?"

"Before I met her?"

Natsuki nods. She was much younger then, those decades ago. She rises with the intake of his breath, trying to comfort the both of them. "I assumed I would have many. I did not know love then, loyalty."

Natsuki bites the inside of her lips. "I dreamed of being the one you would love the most, but then this?" She flicks a tear from her eyes.

"Time will tell, sweet one," he presses his yoki into her, drops of comfort and warmth, but the guilt remains. "This will not happen again."

_I hate you, Chichiue, _she thinks bitterly. _What should be joyous is filled with guilt._

* * *

**Please review! You know I love it! **

**Coming Next Tuesday March 17th Sesshomaru-past Bum bum bum**

**Another good read Of Ice and Flowers by spiritedranger whom I also might begin editing for. **

**I missed you all!**

**Kimmigirl9: **This story is definitely emotionally charged and I love it! We shall see what happens with poor Sesshomaru of the future. I actually feel bad for the dude.

**Smmahamazing: **I'm back! I know Haruto is like what the hell are you doing and Mayumi is like, bitch I got blades, leave me the fuck alone. What can I say I am all angsty. I try to write fluff but I can't. Fire and Ice is the closest I can come to it.

**Mechine: **Thank you for the congrats! Yes it's so damning that Mayumi and Izayoi know the side-effects of what killed their father has slowly been killing their Uncle and Izayoi would never find a life where she fit in the human world. The only reason Sess is still alive is because of Natsuki and that alone is just like AHHH if he breaks his bond to her, he will die that much faster and what's going to happen now that Haruto knows and he suspended Nina's treatment?

**Itzatakahashi: **Yaaahs! I agree, that was one hell of a chapter because now the office knows who they are and what they have been doing. We must save Sesshomaru...I hope he doesn't die...

**New reader: **Thank you! I am so close to finishing my bachelors and it will be such a relief when I do. Oh yes these next few chapters are just going to be sooo emotionally charged and the big questions, will Natsuki discover Nina, what happens to their bond? Now the office knows what are we going to do! AHHHHH So much tension!

**Harukasempai14: **Hello my dear! I figured this chapter might have been a bit redundant but it was technically written before the last Interlude...but it was what I needed it to be to show how bad Sesshomaru's illness has progressed, that Natsuki is keeping him alive and that now the humans in the office know about them. I personally blame some of the Taka dynamic on Natsuki. She never let the poor girl leave the castle so it made it so Taka lived a life that was trapped and confined. But what happens when all secrets are revealed? OOOO I can't wait.

**Crimson Dagger: **I found this anime I think in 2005, maybe 2004. I was staying at a hotel watching Adultswim and then later googled the episodes and clips. After it went of air and Viz studios stopped animating it, I searched for episodes to watch but this was back in youtube days when you could watch anything and everything on there. After that...I didn't know anything about it until last year in April when I finally watched Final Act and then went through the whole series in order and re-fell in love. It's definitely my favorite Anime and the only one I can really write Fanfic for. I have others I love but the endings were complete. It's why I struggle writing my Inukag drabbles I don't think there was a lot left for them in that storyline. These two lots left to tell.


	32. HIATUS NOTICE

**It is with great regret that I must go on hiatus AGAIN...OMG...**

As I am sure you are all aware COVID19 is making it's lovely way across the USA and as a precaution many States are shutting down all K-12 schools. I as informed on Friday my children's private school would join suit with the public schools and close for the next two weeks. They are transitioning the kids over to online classes which means my computer is going to be needed to homeschool my oldest children. If you were curious I have 4 kids, B9, B6, G4, G1. They are my loves and because of this I'm not going to be able to keep up posting. Not to mention I am also taking one University class right now too. I am so sorry.

I'm not sure when the hiatus would be done.

**Best Case Scenario? 3/30/2020 **

**Worst Case Scenario? 5/1/2020 or whenever my kids get to go back to school. **

**Coming next when I actually get to post it will be:**

**Rin-past**

**Sesshomaru-past**

**Kagome-Past**

To everyone who wants to kill me for the last chapter...I accept the anger and wanting to abandon my story. Like it or not Natsuki is an integral piece of the story past and present. Unfortunately, you won't find out why until the middle and end, if it isn't blatantly obvious that the only reason that Sesshomaru is alive right now is because of his bond to Natsuki...all will be explained to those who wait.

**Should you have any pressing need to contact me, please leave reviews, I read them all...you can message me on tumblr, same username, you can find me on twitter, same username. **

**How this will impact my collaborative works?**

**Sesshomaru and Avalon with Nightbird755**

I am going to bust my ass today and tomorrow to get her a good buffer to keep posting this story. If you haven't read it, please do. It's fabulous, not your typical Mary Sue self insert. It's dynamic, dark, angsty, fluffy in some areas, hysterical in others and just so wonderful and will follow the whole anime. My hiatus should not affect her posting weekly.

**Kiss of Fate with Kimmigirl9**

We have a bit to write on the next chapter to post and as soon as it is ready it will go up but both of us, life is just eating us alive right now. So as it gets done we will post.

**I will respond to reviews with the next chapter...or more likely delete this and put a proper chapter up when I can. I am sorry and thank you to everyone who has been reading! I just don't want to be the author that leaves you hanging wondering what's going on.**

**Wash your hands and stay healthy!**

**Elohiniar**


	33. Rin-Past-V

**Hello Everyone! So I finally managed to get this chapter to my beta thank Goodness! My life is in shambles right now. Like major shambles. We are fine and healthy, thank you to everyone who has been asking. But it's been nuts. My kids have our computers most of the time for schoolwork so I don't get as much time to be creative. My kids are stressed because they can't go to parks, or leave the house. It's been a very insane time to be a part of history. Not to mention I am still taking a class that requires my computer and most likely I'm going to have to drop my summer semester at this point ****and push off graduation.**

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**So I'm going to answer themed questions up here for people that don't review or may not read my responses to reviews.**

**Why did Sesshomaru cave first? Simply put, Natsuki has spent the last five years learning to control herself and not seek him out. Sesshomaru didn't. **

**Why did Sesshomaru say, "You are also mine?" If this was a human relationship, they would both be his wives. Natsuki is not his primary obviously, but he still feels an obligation to take care of her. He is honorbound to care for her needs as her husband/lover/mate whatever you want to call it.**

* * *

**To everyone who said, too much Natsuki? Sorry, A. I love her and B. She is integral to the story, so you'll just have to deal with it.**

**To the ones who threatened and said they will stop reading. Bye :) Look I would love to feel bad for you but there are 6,000 sessrin stories on here it's okay. This is my escapism and this story is about complex emotions that don't revolve around just Rin. In fact none of my stories has it ever been the point that Rin's emotions are the only ones that matter.**

**Natsuki saying she wanted to be his primary? She knew she was meant for Sesshomaru long before Rin came into the picture. She was literally groomed for at least a century to believe that and had no issues with it but he changed when he met Rin. So all of her previous plans for them are out the window.**

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**Anyway, onward!**

**Rin-past**

Summer is at its zenith and she sweats while tilling the soil of the garden. Her turquoise kimono is hiked over her knees while Harutoga plucks weeds next to her. Seeing her son makes her smile and she wonders where Yuki and Taiyomaru are. Raising a hand to shield her eyes, she searches through the village for them. As if on cue Hisato says from the side, "Katsumoto is with them."

With the question answered, she goes back to her work. The sun is hot against her skin, and she knows that soon they'll have to go inside to escape it. "Look at this one, Ka-san," Harutoga holds up the flower from one of the weeds. "Why do weeds grow flowers?"

"Why do flowers grow on weeds?" she counters and lifts the final bit of soil out of the way.

"Mmh?" He taps his chin. "Maybe to remind us that beauty is everywhere?"

"I like that," Rin says and goes to the hut to get the seeds. They are adding to their melon patch, because there are more children in the village, which means more mouths to feed and all the families love the sweet fruit. She hefts the bag of seeds over her shoulders and starts planting and covering them while Harutoga walks behind her with a bucket of water.

"Why do we work in the fields? The other children say that you and Chichiue are a Lord and Lady and we shouldn't have to," Harutoga asks while pouring water where she has planted.

"You don't know what hunger feels like, Harutoga," Rin says as she moves along, covering the seeds with dirt. "You don't know famine or war."

He shakes his head.

"It's because of the sacrifices Chichiue makes for us that we have this village and food," she says proudly. "We don't have to live in fear."

The child nods, and she can tell his mind is still spinning with thoughts. "Are you really a princess?"

Rin bursts out laughing along with Hisato. "No. You know how Chichiue found me."

"You found him," Harutoga corrects her. "But then why are you a Lady?"

"Because Chichiue is a Lord."

"Did you get married like Sota?"

"No."

"But then you aren't married! Obasan says you have to be married before you have children!"

Hisato laughs harder and Rin tries not to smear mud on her mouth at her son's antics. "Harutoga, when a pureblooded dog demon bonds a human, that is like a human marriage. I chose to respect Chichiue's customs. He didn't want a marriage," she says, remembering the day by the sakura tree, how he held her, how he made love to her. She licks her lips, wishing he was there now.

"You smell funny, Ka-san." Harutoga runs up to her and touches her forehead. "Are you sick? You smell hot."

Hisato bursts out even louder laughing, trying to regain his stoic composure.

"Hisato, stop laughing!" Rin stomps her foot.

"Are you going to explain that smell, Rin-sama?" He's vibrating and wiping his eyes.

"You smell like a hot summer morning. Why did it change?" Harutoga's nose circles his mother's stomach.

Instead Rin picks up a piece of dirt and flings it at Hisato, who leaps out of the way. She growls at both of them.

"Rin!" A screeching voice comes from behind Rin.

She grins, knowing who is emitting such a high pitched shriek. Jaken runs, nearly tripping on Nintojo, landing on his face and skidding through the freshly tilled soil. "He's coming home!" The urchin throws her a scroll.

She unrolls it with a smile. "Chichiue is coming home!" She hugs Harutoga excitedly, but then she notices the sudden cessation of Hisato's laughter and the seriousness of his expression. "Why do I get the feeling that you know what's going on up there?" Rin rounds on him.

"I don't," and she can't help but notice something strange in his voice when he says that.

"Whatever it is…Harutoga, go find your brother and sister. We'll prepare to meet Chichiue." Rin smiles, feeling her cheeks pinch and burn. After a month of not having Sesshomaru home, she starts jogging back to their home with the excitement of a child but the desire of a woman.

* * *

Months before she had started lining up the servants for his return. They flank the walkway in two lines and she stands at the end with the children freshly bathed, twirling her thumbs. He said he would come as the sun began to set and in nearly thirteen years he has never been late. Rin grins, pacing back and forth. He hasn't had to be gone this long since Yuki was eight.

The blue skies begin to change into bright orange and pink, casting shadows of blue and purple on their ivory white house. She sees the streak of white light flying across the sky, then forming a bulb of white light in front of her. As always, his eyes are on her and her alone. The children break rank even though they've been warned not to. "Chichiue!" they cry, running to him. Taiyomaru makes it first, flying into his father's arms and for a moment Rin does a double take, shaking off what she just saw as luck and a smooth jump. _He didn't just fly…hanyous can't fly._

Yuki smashes her face into Sesshomaru's ribs and Harutoga holds his father's hand. At the end Rin as he walks up to Rin, she's forced to kiss him through the children and he whispers in her ear, "Taiyomaru's asleep."

Rin rolls her eyes as she follows Sesshomaru into the house and the servants are dismissed. He glides, striding through the public dining hall, into the private corridor and then past his study, their private dining hall and at last to the children's room.

Rin can't help but chuckle at the state of Taiyomaru. He doesn't sleep when his father isn't home and literally falls asleep the moment his head hit's his father's shoulders. One day he smashed his nose into Sesshomaru's armor and spent an hour crying from pain. He's tucked into bed, tearing a piece of his father's kimono on the way down that he stuffs against his nose. "Did he sleep?" Sesshomaru strokes their son's long black hair with a look of consternation.

"Does he ever sleep when you are not home?"

Sesshomaru's eyes seem far and distant as he tucks his son in.

"Are you okay, my love?" She piles his hair over his shoulder and begins massaging his neck. He leans into her hands, exhaling, his muscles relaxing under her touch.

"Yuki, Harutoga." He brushes her hands off and it's only then Rin sees the lines around his eyes, the new creases that weren't there before. She had often wondered if she would ever see him age and he no longer looked like a teenager.

"Was it that bad?" she questions him.

"It was what it was," he says dismissively, and she feels her heart ache. _What are you hiding from me?_

She bites her lower lip and leaves the room, avoiding crying in front of him, if he only knew how hard it was for her when he was gone. She finds herself in the private dining room, flopping onto one of the chairs, wiping her eyes. Suddenly Akari is in the room with a pot of mint tea and two cups. "You look like you needed it."

Rin sputters through her tears, "He's so distant."

"Men," Akari agrees, pouring them both cups and joining her. "Hineko is like that at times. Or he was before we came here. He would go off on some adventure or leave me with the children, and there were times he came back in a foul mood."

Rin bites down on her finger, picking up a napkin and blotting her eyes. "I just want to help him….support him. But it hurts when he's like this."

"I'm sorry," Akari sits down next to her and hugs her shoulders. "He loves you."

"I know."

"Men are idiots, even when they are in love."

Rin starts laughing and then thinks about the demon she saw in the future. _What happens to you my love that does this to you? _Sesshomaru's face in the future was more lined, he was more slight, his skin paler but his affect much softer than she was used to seeing. She closes her eyes, rubbing her temples. "Do you think he saw her up there?"

Akari bites her bottom lip, making her fangs more prominent. "I would be shocked if he didn't. I've heard the palace is large, but I would assume he did."

Rin flops her head onto the table. "As if he would tell me."

"He's afraid of losing you again," Akari refills her cup and Rin's. "The last time you knew he was with her, you left and took his children."

"I wouldn't do it again. I promised I wouldn't and I know about her now and oddly she and I get along."

"He doesn't know that," Akari says defensively, "any of that. You have no idea how we have to scrub to get her smell out before he returns."

"Would you be okay with Hineko having two?"

"As long as I remained the head-wife and slept in his bed more often than not?"

"I don't understand youkai!"

Akari snorts. "As if a human Lord wouldn't have done the same thing."

"Kohaku wouldn't have-" She covers her mouth, shocked at her own statement. "I did not just say that."

"Kohaku?" Akari gets a sly grin on her face and scoots forward. "Do tell… who was he?"

"Is he?" Rin comes closer unsure of how close her lover is. "I can't believe I'm talking about this. So when I was eight and Sesshomaru found me, for nearly a year it was just me with him. Kohaku is three years older than me. He was being held prisoner by Naraku, I told you about him. After he broke free of Naraku's mind control, he went to be with Kikyo. But one day he was being chased by Byakuya, a bunshin of Naraku, and Sesshomaru-sama saved him. Kohaku traveled with us until Naraku was destroyed.

"After that, well it was too hard for him to be in the village with his sister. He left almost immediately to find another village of slayers to train with but he came and visited often. He helped me learn to fight, stamina and tumbling. He had a crush on my best friend Satsu, but after she was killed, we kind of turned to each other for comfort. I was fifteen and I knew shortly after that how precious life was. I wanted Sesshomaru, I wanted him so badly…but I knew how he felt about relationships with humans, so one day Kohaku and I were swimming in the lake by the village in the middle of the night and he kissed me. It got very hot from there," she blushes. "He was the first person to, you know, put their fingers inside me. We started courting and right around the night, literally the night we were probably going to make love, Sesshomaru caught us."

"Oh kami," Akari's face flops against the table. "I bet he wanted to kill Kohaku."

"He grabbed me and," her eyes roll into the back of her head. "What I thought would happen with Kohaku felt nothing like what Sesshomaru did that night. I only knew a year later that he was trying to bond me."

"Did you love Kohaku?" Akari asks with a sparkle in her eye.

"Not like I love Sesshomaru. I loved him, I cared about Kohaku, but it wasn't like this. We turned to each other for comfort, friendship, connection. We settled. _She_ loves him," Rin says defeated. "I know she does."

"_She's_ a selfish child," Akari hisses.

"It's not her fault. She was being used. I just wish he would tell me what's going on, or was going on."

"Rin?" A knock comes at the door and it opens slowly to Sesshomaru with a smile on his face. "Come."

"Thank you," she hugs Akari and follows Sesshomaru out into the hallway, only to be pinned against the wall and her lips attacked ferociously. She grips his chest, feeling his muscles through the silks of his clothing. His hands lift her thighs, creating a nest for her, widening her legs as he presses himself into her. Her head leans back, allowing him to nip at her neck. "We should go to our room." She rocks into his hips moaning lightly at the contact of his mouth against her skin.

"Mmh." He clamps down on the side of her neck and she can feel his fangs dipping into her skin.

She feels his fingers glide up the underside of her thigh and toy with the lacy _thong_ that Kagome gave her. As soon as they caress her lips, her legs tighten and she gasps. "My love, please? The bedroom." Her core is burning, like someone has taken a torch and lit her walls into blazes.

He breaks the string of her thong with his claw pulling it out and twirling it on his finger as he walks away.

"You!" Rin runs after him and he jogs into their bedroom. She chases after him, finding him behind their door as he tackles her, throwing her onto the bed. "Do you have to break every pair of those Kagome-sama gave me? Now that the well isn't working, how am I supposed to get new ones?"

"I don't like them." His claws trace tantalizing lines down the front of her kimono, ripping into the fabric as they glide down her body but only tingling against her skin.

Her breasts heave as she breathes, trying to get control of herself but when he is like this, it's impossible. His sole purpose is to make her scream and Rin knows it.

He lays over her, forcing her legs wider with his knees while literally peeling her kimono off in strips. "I don't like this kimono either." He presses his mouth into hers as his hands make fast work of what was left of her kimono.

She starts on the fabric of his haori, pulling it open, and then the white underlayer, until her hands run up his solid abs, but are quickly pinned above her head and he shakes his head, putting a pillow on top of them. "You will not move them."

"No I won't," she says bashfully as his mouth covers her left nipple, swirling the nub with his tongue, while his hand massages the other. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning as the fire burns that much hotter.

His other hand explores, fingers outstretched running the length of her abdomen before abruptly entering her core, pumping her, while his thumb circles her clit. She gasps at the firm thrusts, rocking her hips against his fingers as his mouth finally leaves her nipple and opens between her breasts, only to clamp down with a twirling tongue. It covers her other breasts and she fights the need to grab her knees, instead only stretching her knees up to her shoulders to widen herself and stretch until she feels the pads of his fingers pumping the bulging center of pleasure. Nails dig into the pillow that holds her hands in invisible bonds as his mouth comes lower and lower, lapping, nipping and then at last sucking on her clit. "Mmh!" it comes from her mouth louder than what she wanted. "Kami-sama Sesshomaru!"

It starts with her walls winding themselves up and feeling so hard she's going to shatter as his mouth licks and sucks, sending waves of pleasure through her, and then the first pulse, the second and the third until she feels a gush of fluid run down her legs. She cries in release, her orgasm taking over, only having seconds to recover until he is between her legs, pushing himself inside of her. He moves her knees to flank his sides, creating a tighter space for him to enter as he begins thrusting quickly inside of her.

It's then she sees the flash of pain cross his eyes, as if new lines of tension have bloomed on him over night. She holds one of his hands, opening her legs as wide as she can, with her knees cocked to the side. She invites him to come down and kiss her lips, joying in their connection. "My love." She strokes the tips of his ears to calm him, until he groans in release.

"I'm sorry, my heart." He collapses on top of her, breathing hard, and covered in sweat.

"For what?"

"For everything," he says and his eyes close.

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**Please review! **

**I have no idea when I'll update again sorry! I'm so distracted by real life right now but I wanted to get this up.**

**Thank you to Laureninthesky96 for editing for me!**

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**Okay I am going to try to respond to all these reviews but I think I may miss a few, if I do I'm sorry!**

**Mechinex2: **Oh yes it's been insane here. We had to switch to an online platform and I'm homeschooling 2/4 kids so it's insane. I know it seems like Sess is bad but he really isn't. He knew he couldn't resist. So glad you love it! I know it's not fair to Sess or Natsuki or Rin...

**Harukasempai14x2:** Natsuki did behave better. Talk about something fun to explore...Natsuki had wanted to be his primary, she's had him for centuries what happens when/if she finds out about Nina? Our classes got all pushed online and I am fairly certain I have to cancel my summer semester because I won't be able to have my kids in summer camp. So I said it up top, she had been groomed her whole life to be his. Being a homewrecker wasn't part of the plan, she just assumed she would be head of his harem of females. OOOO you got mad. I love it!

**Reaper 007: **Mean

** . : **Um...yeah this isn't any different than any other SessRin mate theory story out there. Natsuki is Sesshomaru's mate, the same way Rin is.

**New Readerx2: **Um...cause I am mean, cause I am evil? Cause it's fun? This definitely screwed their relationship to ever turning into love. I am not sure where we are in the story. I literally wrote this in POV's and never numbered the freaking chapters. We are nearly done with Part 1 and there are three parts but they aren't all the same length so I think we are near the halfway point, but funny fact this isn't any longer word count than isntinct LOL. HAHA Don't worry thanks to this pandemic, not having as much computer access and everything it's going to take a while to finish. And I finally solved one of my later plot issues ...soo it's coming.

**Morality: **I'm reading it. I love GinreixSess...so far I hate SessxRin in that story. It's like Rin is his pet and she has no backbone yet, until she finally finds out.

**Gogo: **You'll just have to wait and find out

**Ginax5: **I'm reading Runaway right now. I love it so far. You may not like that i use Natsuki and it may piss readers off but they can go read other stories. This is mine and I'm not changing it for anyone. Actually tamiful and aids retrovirals have been shown in Thailand to help treat Corona virus. Crazy times. Thanks for all the reviews!

**Itzatakahashi: **He never had love for Natsuki. Fondness yes, but not love. Oh she knows very well that he doesn't love her.

**Curious cat: **I wish I knew! I'm almost done writing it but in terms of words count it's still shorter than Instinct at the moment but might be a bit longer in word count when I finish.

**Angel-wing 92: **Mean

**Guest#1:** Did you read instinct? And yes he has no self control if the other mate is also demon. Their yoki draws them together like magnets.

**Guesswhox2:** Yeah i love all the different views too. My inspiration is Jodi Picoult. In her stories you get to read from all sides and I really like that, because then you begin to understand eveyones feelings. Natsuki is so old school. She is like this is me, get over it. I think for Sesshomaru if you can't tell, he still cares for Natsuki. He is honorbound to provide her happiness even if they don't live together and that is one line even for Rin he is not willing to cross.

**Jin: **I'd love to respond to this but I honestly really don't care if it turns readers off. This is my story, my series, my escape. The fact that I even share it with the public is all that matters. If you stop reading I won't mind. There are 6,000 other sessrin stories on FFN to enjoy. This all has a purpose you won't know until the end of the story sooooooo...again 6,000 other stories and I do not appreciate reviews that tell me how you think it should have been written because you can't see the bigger picture that other people can.

**Luin-fanex2l: **Thank goodness we are healthy. The kids are going insane but what else can be expected from being cooped up for so long?

**Omg I did it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed to the two that I did not approve.**

**Sessrin who is probably sessrin lover who literally spams everyone's stories with hate who we have also busted on discord spreading hate...please please please promise me? You promise to stop reading my story? You're done? You'll go hate on someone else? **


	34. Sesshomaru-past VI

**Wow wow...guys it never ceases to amaze me what a wonderful audience you are and how patient you have been with me! My life, let me tell you is insane right now. **

**If anyone is interested I started a low key blog called, "Elohiniar's Adventures in Writing." It's on Blogger.**

**Mostly, it's so I can decompress. Two weeks ago roughly, my in-laws house caught fire and a lot of their house was destroyed. Because of umm...elderly personalities and inability to use technology I have had to do a lot of fielding phone calls for them to get the ball moving in the right direction, plus my college course and homeschooling my 2 older kids.**

**I think someone asked the age of my littles, B9, B6, G4 and Gbaby 16months. It's been a hectic and crazy time for us. **

**So here we are, another chapter. I have a huge buffer on this story but I am struggling finishing it. Hopefully once my class is out of the way, it will be easier for me to get the end written. My main goal has been "if" Sess/Nina happens it is because Nina falls for Sess and Sess loves her because she is Nina not Rin's reincarnation and I'm working on that. I want it to be as genuine and true as Sess/Rin if it happens...cause a part of me also wants it to not happen. Oh conflicts. So...off we go.**

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**Sesshomaru-past**

As midnight rises, their bodies twist around each other in their sacred dance. Flesh finds warmth and comfort as his arms tie themselves around her waist, her back touching his chest. His nose is forever buried in the tendrils of hair that grow at the base of skull. The heat of her body feels like home, like a fire, like a piece of who he is. Yet guilt wraps around him like a heavy blanket, suffocating him.

As dreams come, his mind tricks him. She knows of his infidelity. She waits for him to be gone a week, guarding and inspecting his borders and he returns to find an empty home. There is no life, no little feet to greet him, no high pitched cries calling for their father. _What did you think would happen? _A voice echoes, malevolently in his mind, taunting him for his unfaithfulness.

He bolts awake, his body jolting upright with a hand over his heart. He scrubs his eyes out, searching for Rin in bed next to him. She rises with him, grasping his hand, and hugging him from behind until her breasts and stomach are flush against his back. He feels her mouth working on his right shoulder, biting down in comforting motions. He pants, catching his breath, gripping her palm as if it is the last thing that he will do. He brings her fingers to his mouth and rests his tongue against the middle one.

"What is it my love?" Rin sighs from behind him. "Your heart is racing."

"Nothing," he lies, knowing that's not the case. An insidious fear remains and plagues his heart. He could have stomached Rin rejecting him, leaving him, finding another place to live five years before when he bonded Natsuki, but it was the pain of losing his children that broke his heart. It's not that he doesn't love Rin, but passion between lovers is different than the love between a father and his children.

"You know at times, you aren't a very good liar. Lay down with me."

He shakes his head, taking a cleansing breath, to clear his mind and releases her hands, getting off the futon. He can't speak. His mouth is dry and words are lost.

She's in front of him, blocking the door before he can even reach his clothing with her arms folded stubbornly over her ample breasts. An eyebrow raises and she smirks in the dark. "Rin," he warns her for her defiance.

"No," she says firmly. "You are tired and you will sleep. Get back in bed."

He stalks over to her, towering over her. She comes up to his chin and there are days he still cannot believe the child he protected turned into a woman capable of seducing him. He leans over as wickedly as possible and says, "you would bar my way?"

"Sesshomaru, please?" And when her voice breaks, so does his ire. "I know you. Your face is more lined." Her thumbs run along the borders of his eyes. "Your eyes are bloodshot and your hands are trembling. You're exhausted."

His forehead falls against hers as he breathes her breath. She smells like morning dew, the first rays of spring, the flowers that grow in their garden. "I can't sleep." If only dreams were not premonitions of the future. He wonders when Kensaku will use this against him, that he bedded Natsuki, that he slept with her, that their bond is stronger and harder to ignore now, to force his hand into something else.

"I'm here." Rin kisses his lips as she speaks and he wants to dine on her mouth. She tastes like him, his sweat and her own wonderful flavor. "Come to bed."

His head wavers back and forth again, refusing her. He can bury himself in the months' worth of messages Jaken has likely been fielding. There are trade agreements and meetings to be had. Anything but living in his guilt and the exhaustion that has become his life.

"What do I have to do to convince you to rest? To remove this tension?" she whispers, hugging his chest, pressing her body into his. "Should we go to the hot springs?"

"I do not need to bathe." Although he bathed multiple times before returning for fear that the children would smell Natsuki on his skin.

"I could make love to you again," she says mischievously, her hand dipping in between his thighs and lifting his flaccid shaft.

"That is also not what I need," he says wryly. "You wish to appease this Sesshomaru so I will sleep?"

"Yes," and a tear leaves the corner of her eyes. "You won't tell me what happened up there but I can see that it took its toll on you. I accept that you won't share it with me, but I can't stand seeing you like this. You don't even see it do you? You've aged…you don't look like a teenager anymore."

It's only then that he takes in her face and sees that her cheeks are as rosy as they have always been, her eyes bright. He tucks her hair behind her ear with a finger and nuzzles her nose. "You have not aged at all."

"Maybe it's just, what are those things you told me about last month? The ones about parents giving pieces of themselves to their children?"

"Genetics." He smiles as he kisses her. "Have you been in my study?"

"I want to understand what you find so fascinating about it. It looks like another language to me."

"It's 'modern Japanese'," he informs her softly. "The Miko had to make a chart for me at first."

"It's good you don't sleep then. You have so much time to learn. Sesshomaru? What do you need to sleep."

"You," he admits quietly. "And only you. I need to know you will be in this room while I sleep."

"You know I will be."

He shakes his head, his heart clenching. "No. If the children need you, bring them here, but for now, I need to bathe in your scent. Stay with me." He feels pathetic, but the panic lingers behind his heart because of the sins he committed.

"If it's what you need." She takes his hand and leads him back to their futon on the floor. She makes a nest for herself in the pillows, while he finds himself drawn to the peaks of her breasts. He buries his head in between the two mounds, holding her close to him. "You know there is nothing you could do that would ever make me leave you?"

He only sighs, because they both know that that isn't true. He could lose himself in the smell of her skin, and the way their scents combine. She strokes the tips of his ears, making goosebumps rise on his skin as his body slowly relaxes.

"I promised Sesshomaru," she says as if she knows what he is thinking. "I don't want to share you with her, but I won't leave you again. I love you. I'm sure you saw her there, but you came home to me."

He lifts his head looking in her eyes, his own having trouble staying open.

"She will never be yours like I am. I love you."

"As do I," he whispers against her skin, his heart finally at peace.

His eyes open to the morning, sun blinding him. He covers his eyes, sniffing the heat of Rin's core near his nose. He wakes with his head in her lap as she sits cross legged stroking his silver hair away from his face. He's managed to turn on his stomach and his children play quietly in the corner of the room. He pinches Rin's bottom making her squeak and then lean over and kiss his cheek. "It's about time you woke up."

"How long did I sleep for?"

"Three days."

"You stayed," he exhales in relief.

"Forever, my love. Harutoga, Yuki, get Chichiue his clothes."

The children rise excitedly, digging through his trunk, throwing clothes at his face and then his family curls around him, happily wanting to hear about what he did for a month. Yuki wants to know who he killed, Harutoga listens quietly only adding in that he can run faster than any of the village boys, even the cats, because they just had a big race. Taiyomaru tugs his ear down and whispers, "You don't have to feel guilty," and then he takes his father's hand and Sesshomaru's heart blooms with a comfort that isn't his own. "Does that feel better?"

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**Please review! I don't need to "beg" for reviews on this chapter but I would genuinely like to know how all my readers are doing and if you are well. (There is a real part of me, probably anxiety driven but also I know it's very real that many of our favorite authors/readers may lose their lives or become seriously ill right now and some of us are just downright struggling to find a new normal)...so all my regulars and not regulars drop me a note and let me know how you are doing. Stay healthy, home and safe :)**

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**To all the people that hated that Natsuki chapter, just gonna say it, you were so caught up in hating her, you missed soooooo many Easter Eggs :) that you may kick yourself for later. HAHAHAHA**

**Basically...I have a big question for you all...I have one hell of an ending planned but I can write it quickly, meaning shortly or more detailed but that means this might end up being like House of the Moon long...or maybe like 300 pages in word...so if you are up for it so am I. We're at about 98/238 pages in my doc right now.**

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**Because of the insanity in my life, there will be no regular updates for now. I am going to try to update the Book of Kagome and Fire and Ice next :)**

**Next up: Kagome-past**

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**smmahamazing: **If I were Rin I would hate their heightened sense of smell. Like how would their kids not start asking questions and I think Harutoga is around 11 now, but in the body of a seven year old, so it was fun writing that.

**Luin-fanel: **Oh Sesshomaru feels nothing but shame right now. Instinct is a bitch and where it brings him happiness with Rin, connection, it only brings guilt with Natsuki. Trust me, I don't allow the flames, because 100% of them are anonymous I can deny them. So my littles are Boy 9, Boy 6, Girl 4 and Girl 16 months. They are so much fun but going so crazy at home right now. We are highly considering getting a game station for them and a TV, anything to keep them entertained until the world opens up again.

**Gina: **Thank you! Definitely been some praying going on over here and yes, cheaters are something else.

**Mechinex2: **Thank you :). Harutoga is definitely more like Rin than Yuki is. Yuki has her father's temper/fire and Harutoga is the quieter more Rin-like child. I kind of feel like writing, I have focused more on Yuki but now I am trying to get his character more time. I agree that Rin's experience with men has been limited. Even that last chapter had so many fortelling moments. How are you doing with all this? Thank you for the support. I have opted to not allow the flames but they get sooo tiresome! This is the most complex story I have written and I enjoy it.

**Gogo: **I think my kids are competing for an olympic gold medal of insanity right now.

**New Readerx3: **I did try to change the tone of that chapter. I wanted them to have the chance to reconnect, but OMG the angst is coming back soon. I think Rin knows and is committed to Sesshomaru, which may sound strange but having more than one back then was normal. Also, call me crazy but I do feel bad for Natsuki in a way. She knows that Sess is capable of a deep and passionate love but he can't and even in the future never does, because it's his love for Rin, not a free-love he would give to any woman. Thank you for the well wishes and I am glad too I tried to post. I need things to settle, so we will see when/if that happens. Natsuki didn't plan on being a homewrecker means that she thought she would just be part of his Harem, like Rin would accept her, and if she didn't who cares, because he is Daiyoukai, until she figured out that Sess/Rin is so much deeper than the spiritual bond that ties them.

**Harukasempai13: **Oh honey that's because you don't see the reviews I don't approve. So far I have been accused of not being a real fan, told I should stop writing, and that I don't like Inuyasha. Most people can't distinguish between fanon and canon anymore. Rin/Natsuki/Sess is not a typical situation and to be honest I like this better than Runaway. In that Ginrei was forced to wed him and bed him in exchange for her freedom and Rin in that story. I still need to finish it, but I hate how she says hanyous are worthless and that she isn't proud of her own children. The bond with Natsuki was forced, Sesshomaru doesn't want it and he loves all five of his children equally. There is none of this one is a hanyou and this one isn't.

**Straigt Shooter: **You are a whiner. You also will have no more reviews approved unless they focus on the story not on your own emotions. Yes I spend hours writing because I hate...You and all the others, or more likely you reviewing over and over again under different guest names, need to grow up and realize that fanon is not canon and NO ONE is obligated to write what everyone else has. Please feel free to enjoy the other 6,000 Sess/Rin stories on this site or write your own.

**Esther247x4: **Fuck? LOL...yeah those were some intense chapters huh? I think we've covered most of your reviews in PM's but yes ma'am I agree there is way too much drama over this story. HAHA I have been taught well by other writers that nothing is ever so simple that there is truly a good guy and a bad guy. HAHA trust me I love making people feel. I think it's my inner psych student there is no one side to anything. AHHHH love your reviews!

**Itzatakahashi: **I love you! Thank you for the defense and telling people where to go. It's basically how I feel. I love this story and Instinct. They are my favorites because the plots are more complicated and the emotions more raw. Thank you :)

**Guest #1: **Oh thank you too. I don't understand why people have settled for the same plotlines over and over and over again.

**Dragonrose78: **Thank you! I am so glad you have enjoyed all my stories! This one and Instinct in particular are my babies. Yes Natsuki is so complex. Rin cannot manipulate their bond and well...it's not the bond that's killing him. We'll find out soon what it is. Keep reading and reviewing I love it!


	35. Kagome-Past IV

**Hello everyone! I am still so humbled by the response to this story. Like seriously I say it all the time but you really are the best audience ever.**

**This is a short chapter, because it happens when you are just writing in POV's.**

**I have taken it to heart and I will write the end the way I love and hopefully you will love it too :)**

**I think we all knew this was coming and I don't know about you but I was dreading it.**

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**Kagome-past**

**Six Months later…**

She slaves all day in the gardens and rice paddies until her back hurts. When she finishes she plods back to her hut, to her husband, filled with trepidation that leaves her hands shaking and her mind racing. It's only gotten worse.

They've tried herb after herb. They sent letters to Sesshomaru asking to send their Healer. Nobuatsu has visited twice, staying for weeks at a time but nothing is working. The fever only breaks on the night of the full-moon, then rages the next day as if it had never stopped. The herbs only keep it manageable. He can no longer stand. Inuyasha's legs are swelled with blisters and pus. His hands are no better. The rash has wreathed his body, leaving vines of blisters across his upper legs, spreading to his abdomen. He feels constant nausea the higher the rash rises.

If only the Well would open. It has to open. **He** would know what it was…then the thought stops her. _What if this is the disease he talked about? _She tries to remember if they ever discussed the cure? Did they? Was it ever something that they had spoken of? She feels like they did but he always guarded the information carefully. A pit forms in her stomach as she gazes into the forest where her sick lover hasn't been able to get out of bed.

She leaves the garden to make his lunch. He needs soft food now, soups and dishes that are easy to chew. It's torment watching him. Every afternoon she covers his body in clay and herbs to soothe the pain he is in and again at night. He hasn't been able to lift Tetsusaiga or fight in the weeks. Sango and Miroku visit daily, but there is nothing new to report. Shippo visits more often but there is nothing he can do. The fox demon is left to play practical jokes on himself to make Inuyasha laugh, but that inevitably makes him wheeze and his lungs cramp in pain.

One visit Kagome asks Nobuatsu, "Is Jinenji's father still alive?"

"Yes," the slender, silver haired demon answers. "He lives high in the mountains, past the lands the wolf demons call theirs, far from humans."

"Why did he let Jinenji and his mother go?" Thoughts plague her, what will happen if Inuyasha outlives her?

"She aged. She could no longer give him what he needed," Nobuatsu is so soft spoken at times it is difficult to hear him. He mixes herbs into a stone pestle that smell both sweet and bitter at the same time. He sits down with Inuyasha as he pours hot water into the mixture.

"Does he know more about herbs than you?" She would travel to the ends of the earth if that is what it took to save Inuyasha. _Kami-sama what's going to happen to Rin when she ages and Sesshomaru doesn't?_

"No. We learned under our father and he under his. There is nothing left to be done for this." He has done all he can for Inuyasha. The mixture is given to Kagome to apply to her lover's blisters.

"I don't understand…" She swallows back the tears threatening to leave her eyes. She chokes, trying not to be as terrified as she is. She knows it will last for ten years and for the life of her she can't recall the rest of the conversation she had with Sesshomaru in the future. _Is this it? _She wracks her brain thinking. He had approached her in the coffee shop but then she had the laceration on her shoulder he treated with his blood, giving her a whopper of a fever and she forgot most of what he said, besides something about Natsuki and both children needing to be born. _But why? Rin needed the time away from him to get her strength back but this was twenty years ago and he never said anything about it again!_

"Neither do I," Nobuatsu affirms her confusion. The village needs him and he is no longer allowed to come and go as he once did. The attacks from the monks have continued. Inuyasha has been spared by merit of who he is married to and when Shippo comes it's at night when humans sleep.

Nobuatsu will travel by moonlight, when it's difficult for humans to see and in shadows where his aura won't be so easy to detect. If he isn't careful, Kagome knows he will lead the monks right to Sesshomaru's doorstep. The barrier that her son maintains protects the village, masking the great yoki from inside.

"You better not die on me," Kagome sits with Inuyasha in their quiet hut. A home that was once full of children is now empty. It's an odd kind of quiet that is constantly scattered with the smell of sickness. She pulls down the front of his red haori and white inner-layer and begins spreading the paste on his belly, giving strength to his tired digestive system.

"No plans on it." Inuyasha laughs, while he holds Tetsusaiga. He hasn't been able to use the katana in weeks. He twirls Kagome's hair in between his fingers. "You'll see, it will all work out in the end."

"I wish I had your faith," she whispers next to him as she makes another poultice to put on his legs.

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**Please Review...anybody crying? I cried...the bawling is coming...and that damn bastard why didn't Sesshomaru in the future ever tell Kagome?**

**Guys, if you haven't read Cowboy Blues by Smmahamazing, please do. It's most excellent Inu/kag and she is a new writer and will give her love.**

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**Mechine: **Thank you! Writing is my great escape, so for the moment this is how I survive mentally anyway. HEHE I will work on making the Sess/Nina happen...There are um...components that must be addressed and I am working on that now.

**Smmahamazing: **HAHA that first sentence makes me laugh and I agree, the hating is insane. One day people will understand that is why the Sess/Rin is dying and why people prefer Sess/Kag. I love your two cents because that is exactly what I was going for. People asked me to make Natsuki pay for breaking up RinSess I thought making her suffer an eternity without real love would be a good idea.

**New Readerx2: **First off I love that you leave more than one review a chapter. I'm so happy I had you jumping for joy! Yep you also got it. Gobodo-sama was not trying to defend or rescue Natsuki from the consequence of her actions, but protect her from living a life in Rin's shadow more than she already would have. Oh yes, trust me I have thought about the fact that she is 15 but you shall see what happens and that is all I am going to say. I want them to be together, but let's see if I can manage it the way I want.

**Ginax2: **Thank you so much for sticking with me and for all of your reviews! I'm losing my mind too. I love your typical male comment, basically. Natsuki is his wife the same as Rin is but obviously one takes precedence over the other.

**itzatakahashix2: **How is your asthma doing? I hope it's better! I can imagine the looks you get for seasonal allergies. I used to have horrible allergies and people would think I had some awful communicable disease. I think Sesshomaru is slowly revealing his internal battle to give Rin what he knows she wants and giving up a more personal relationship with Tsukimaru and also that was just a ton of stress and it's only going to get worse and he knows that there is a risk Kensaku would strongarm him again. We just have to see if that happens. Rin is totally aware that something happened with Natsuki she just doesn't know what. Although I think I may have plotholed something I need to fix...crap...see this is why I love reviews makes me think.

**Kimmigirl9:** THank you and feel better! This weather has been nuts. One day it's raining here and the next it's dry and icky.

**Gogo: **I've been re-reading it to see where I left off and I agree, it's very addictive.

**Luin-Fanel:** Yep, Sesshomaru feels things very deeply. It's exactly like that story you read and it's not simple that we can just say one person is good and another is bad. I wish it were that simple, but it's not. He does not want to hurt Rin, he wants to be loyal to her. My kids have also been asking my questions about isolation and quarantine. They tried to tell my in-laws that taking long walks was a bad idea, it's adorable. We try making gardens but my 4 year old digs them up ALL THE TIME! It's rough, but we are finally adjusting somewhat. If I have any luck April 30th will be getting this posted!

**Harukasempai13: **I feel you on the canceling the semester. I had to cancel my summer because of all this and my in-laws and everything. I can feel for that other writer. It seems and I may be wrong, but overall fandoms want fluff and shipping and calm and no angst and I don't know. At times I feel like my talents are wasted on fanfic. For a while I thought about not finishing this story at all but this is my story and I write it for me. It's my escape and that is all that matters. Yes so when I read that sentence I also cringed internally but I think as the writer I understood but it wasn't nuanced enough for the audience. If Touma had not been Higan he would have let Rin go but really what dug into him was that she took his children. Like when she left she didn't just take herself, she took the children too. I think all the kids took it differently. Yuki openly hates Natsuki and said children. Harutoga kind of hates them, but keeps his distance. Taiyomaru has always been close to Tsukimaru and Taka but I guess we'll see where that goes. I probably should rewrite that sentence but I think what Sesshomaru means, he loves Rin enough he could let her go, but he fears that she would take the kids with her and that would break him. I know that sounds odd, but if he knew she was happy and someone loved her he could deal but his kids are his.


	36. Sesshomaru-Past VII

**Oh I love my audience. I swear you guys are the best :). We got zero flames on the last chapter and I am convinced it's because you all stand by my side and that means everything to me! Hopefully the haters have given up and the rest of us can all enjoy this story together.**

**Thanks to your amazing reviews, I have been able to map out the rest of he "past" timeline and now I'm just working on getting the rest of the "future" figured out. Keep the reviews coming because they help me figure out this story. I did this to myself making this complicated.**

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**Sesshomaru-Past**

He watches nervously as Nobuatsu leaves again. He sits in a tree outside of Kagome and Inuyasha's hut. Visiting Inuyasha has become more of pastime as of late. He's read over and over through the book of epidemiology and has been unable to find a disease that fits the description of what is happening to his brother. Herbs are not his strong suit, which is why he has sent their healer so often.

After the Horse demon leaves, Kagome exits with a tear in her eyes. He knows that look, the sight of a bereaved woman. His heart clenches as he leaves the tree and walks into the hut. He sets a tender hand on her shoulder that he quickly removes. "Go visit your friends," he says quietly as he enters. Sociality is integral to humans and he knows that she has barely left his side since this began.

Inuyasha legs are wrapped in bandages that are tinted brown with mint and other herbs. "What are you doing here?" Inuyasha wheezes out, trying to laugh.

That's another sound Sesshomaru has learned. Wheezing means there is an infection in the lungs. There are such things as normal heartbeats, temperatures and respirations. He counts them quietly, noticing that it's taking entirely too much effort for his hanyou brother to move oxygen. Not only that, his heart is racing faster than it should be. He touches his brother's forehead as he kneels and shakes his head. Sesshomaru palpates the throat, searching for the lymph nodes. There are things he has learned from having a village full of hanyous. Their hearts beat more slowly than humans, but can tolerate more stress. Their temperature feels the same, because he has no way of measuring them, but their breaths at times come more quickly when strained but much slower at rest.

"What the hell are you doing?" Inuyasha tries to bat at Sesshomaru's fingers.

His fingers press into Inuyasha's neck looking for the lymph glands that are directly below the jawline, he touches his own neck to compare and then mutters, "strange." He has none. He never thought to look for them before.

"You are being strange." He pushes his brother's fingers off him.

"I have no lymph glands." He finally sits next to his brother and hands him the bottle of water. He touches his own neck again and then the back where another chain of glands drain from the ears. "Odd." He lets it go, something he will investigate later. "You look worse."

"Thanks Sesshomaru," Inuyasha tries to laugh. "Sorry we can't fight this time."

"Is that what you thought we did?" He leans against the wall of the hut. "Do you ever wonder if you were able to survive because of your skill, or because I pushed you?"

"You're saying you fought with me to help me? That's a laugh," the younger brother says, half bitterly, but the years of anger and malice between the two are gone.

"I spent years hating you," Sesshomaru admits as he picks up a mortar and a pestle.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making a paste for your breathing," that much he knows. He's made it many times for Rin and his children when they are sick. He lets his nose lead him to the eucalyptus that is stored in a cabinet and the lavender which helps with pain. "Does it hurt?" he asks his brother.

"Horribly, but don't tell Kagome. She's worried enough." He coughs and it's then the smell of blood lingers in the air.

"You would lose to something as small as a germ." He glares back as he puts the contents he needs into the stone bowl and begins mixing them. The smell clears his own nose and makes his eyes burn. He crushes the leaves and powder until it forms a thick paste and then sits down in front of his brother. He pulls down the red haori and white inner layer.

"Well, it's not like anything else could kill me," he chuckles.

"You're retracting." He points to the skin just below his brother's ribs as he rubs the paste against his hanyou brother's skin. "Does it ever break? The fever?"

"Usually during the new moon, but as soon as my yoki comes back, it comes back too. Have you seen anything like this before?"

"No," he admits almost sadly as he rubs the last of the paste in and adjusts the haori. "This should make breathing easier."

"What is retracting?" Inuyasha asks him.

He pulls the front of Inuyasha's haori down again. "Do you see how the skin tucks beneath the ribs as you breathe?" He pulls his own haori open. His breaths do nothing to the skin around his ribs. "When you're healthy the skin just barely dips. But like that, you can tell the lungs are unhealthy."

Inuyasha scoffs, pulling his robe back together. "You really like it don't you? The medical stuff?"

"It's fascinating." He sits down again and wipes his hands on a cloth. "There isn't much left to learn in battle."

"You mean there is no one strong enough to take you out." Inuyasha smiles through another coughing fit. This time blood drips from his mouth.

Sesshomaru reaches for a cloth and wipes it off. "You were the closest." Sesshomaru lifts a bottle of water for his brother to drink.

Inuyasha takes the bottle and grimaces. "So now you're a healer?"

"There are many things about medicine I find fascinating. It is not simple to learn. There are many difficult terms to remember and there are basic applications we cannot manage in this time that they have in the future." Then he closes his eyes. "There are times I worry that something as simple as a germ will take Rin from me."

"I thought about that with Kagome but they have vaccines in her time. Did you read about those yet?"

He nods.

"She's lucky. Simple things that wipe out whole villages, she's already immune too," Inuyasha coughs again and his eyes blink slowly up and down. "Remember when we couldn't be in the same space together without fighting?"

"I remember." Sesshomaru laughs to himself. "You were always so impetuous."

"I can't believe you introduced yourself right after my mother died. You were such an ass." The younger brother's eyes close. "Sorry. I'm just so tired."

"If you die from this, I will find a way to bring you back, just to kill you in battle," he says darkly, looming over his little brother. _Chichiue wouldn't want this. Stay ototo._

"You already used Tenseiga once." With the eyes closed, the voice fades.

"Inuyasha?" he startles, then sees that his brother is deep in sleep. His borders need to be checked, he will visit Tsukimaru that night. With a heavy heart that is consumed in worry, he stands and leaves.

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**Please review my lovlies! I had this dream while writing this that these two finally buried the anger and are simply two brothers who enjoy each other's company. **

**I think I can tentatively commit to posting once a week on this story now. I have a massive buffer which is helpful and I finally started writing again on it last night. I don't want to post an actual date because then I will feel pressure. So each week, look for an update!**

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**Kimmigirl9: **I am a sinner

**Gogo:** Natsuki is hate-worthy in the past but so necessary and we won't even know more until the future. HAHA I would just like to claim that I started writing this before Corona went viral.

**Smmahamazing: **Your story deserves the kudos! I had fun reading it. Sorry it took me a bit to finish reviewing it. Oh it's coming...it's coming!

**Mechine: **OOOO you will see what happens as the story progresses and yes I plan on finishing. I have this thing about joining the 2/3rds of unfinished fanfics. I will keep posting!

**New Readerx2:** It's not weird. I was happy to post a new chapter! So Kagome practically raised Rin. Something I want to delve into deeper in Inu/Kag drabbles. They were always close like sisters. Even closer once Rin bonded Sesshomaru. Then they became sister-in-laws and there was more to share between them. Oh we shall see about the future. I have so many ideas. No worries the future timeline is coming back. I got asked to write the Disease and a Reincarnation story and I couldn't figure out how to until I meshed them together.

**Harukasempai13: **So I can answer the question about Taka...she doesn't have the Disease because she was born after it and her parents kept her secluded in the castle to keep her from getting sick. Natsuki you'll just have to wait and find out. Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru it's a good guess because they are the cure that they won't get it. It is hard to read. I don't like that Inuyasha will soon meet his demise. It's going to make me sooo sad!

**Luin Fanel: **I know! It's so sad what happened to Inuyasha or is going to happen to Inuyasha. My kids are making me insanely crazy. I want a vacation from homeschooling and I am literally holding my breath until June 15th, when I don't have to micromanage their lives and be like, do this, do that, do this. We're trying to keep it fun but they have video classes and papers, and reading assignments. So It's not exactly so easy for me right now. June 15th is their last day and I may have a party then.

**Itzahtakahashi: **I want those bastards to die too...like seriously. They are so mean for killing people and breaking our hearts.

**Dragonrose78: **Sorry I must have misread, which totally happens. I am usually writing my responses to reviews while juggling kids and it makes for not always the best focus. I agree having people that are too close to the problem aren't always the best helpers. Thank you so much for your reviews and following my stories! I hope to finish this soon, and then post faster when I don't have to deal with my kids and school.

**Gina: **So I won you over have I?


	37. Kagome Past V

**In honor of Hanyou no Yashahime coming out this fall I'm posting sooner than I said...because should kill the joy of a sequel with this? I feel very pressured to finish this now because let's be honest...this story is going to be AU after the new anime comes out.**

**If you haven't heard, Hanyou no Yashahime revolves around Sesshomaru's hanyou twin daughters who separated in a forest fire and reunited 10 years later but one of them is missing her memory. Mohora is Inuyasha's daughter and I am so excited! But the big oooo for everyone right now, is who did Sesshomaru make babies with? **

**Okay enough of my spazzing, let's get this show going. Because I will lose all motivation to finish this story if it's not done before the anime comes out.**

**Kagome-Past**

**A year later…**

It hasn't stopped. Not the fevers or the slow spread of the rash that began on the soles of his feet and on his palms. It's risen higher now, up to his belly and across his chest. He spends most of his days in bed. He can't move. He vomits blood. The fever has soared so high in the summer that he broke into seizures. He is delirious, a shell of what he once was. Sango and Miroku have searched for healers, for anything that will cure him. Kagome knows, she knows now exactly what it is, but she can't remember if they ever discussed the cure. She sits at night wishing there was something that would save him. It all makes sense now, the awkward glances, the way **he **would never answer her questions about where Inuyasha was. She knows now. This will be his end and their time together is ending so much sooner than she thought it would.

The rash has spread to his ribcage, only slowing as winter set in. The cold air kept his fever from raising as high. The new moons break it, only for it to come back that much stronger. He isn't going to make it and she knows it.

She holds his hand one frigid night in winter. "Inuyasha?"

"Huh?" he whispers. His eyes are covered in yellow patches of mucous. His skin is pale except for the red pimpled sheen of the rash.

"It's been a year and a half," she mutters, holding his hand.

"I know," he coughs. Blood trickles down the side of his chin. "This isn't exactly how I planned on dying."

"Stop." She holds his hand and wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth with a cloth. Their hut seems so dark and dank. A year and a half of him being sick, she has almost forgotten what the outside world looks like, trees, wind, the taste of spring, the cold of winter. She's done nothing but care for her lover.

"You lied to me you know," his voice is coarse and raspy. "Get me some water?"

She lifts his neck and helps him drink. He coughs as it goes down.

"I never lied," she argues, not knowing what he is talking about.

"You did for years," he laughs. "I used to smell him on you and wonder why. He never quite smelled like he does now. Forest and pine, but now sulfur and grease and sterile chemicals."

"What are you talking about?" She wipes the tears from her cheeks. She's prayed to every diety she can name, begged the heavens to move, to do something to heal him and nothing has changed.

"Sesshomaru…he's in the future, in your time." He chuckles wryly. "I should have known that bastard would be too stubborn to die."

"How?" She can't finish the sentence. Her chest is tight. Did he know? He knew and never told her? It hits her like a heavy weight, that all this time, the last twenty years he could have saved his brother and chose not to and all she wants to do leap through the well and purify the shit out of Sesshomaru until he tells her the cure, until he gives her a chance to save Inuyasha's life.

"He said…he will never stop feeling guilty for what is about to happen. He couldn't remember when it happened. He knew his kids were still little. He doesn't know who did it either. He spent centuries looking…"

"He found you?" She covers her mouth, trying to hide the feeling of betrayal.

"I'm going to die before he can make it here and say good-bye," he closes his eyes. "You could have told me."

"Please, did he tell you how to stop it?" _Kami, please…he had to say something. _Is there an herb she doesn't know? She's searched high and low, Miroku, Sango and Shippo spent the last bit of fall tracing their steps to Mount Hakurei and back begging every healer they found for a cure. Nobuatsu sent messengers to the wolves, to carry further to Jinenji's father in the mountains. They all returned empty handed.

"No," he mutters, eyes closing. "He said it has to happen."

"I don't know why," she finally breaks down on his chest. "Why Inuyasha?"

"It's part of how he becomes who he is in the future. He gave me the choice. He could have found a sample of the virus and infected me, then cured me or things could happen the way they do. But…my death gives him strength. I want you to move on Kagome…find someone else? Okay? Don't get stuck mourning for me."

"Twenty years wasn't long enough," she holds his robe crying. "How could you make this choice and not include me?"

"Give Tetsusaiga to Tatsuo and my robe to Taisho." He wipes his nose. "If you see the girls again, tell them I love them okay?"

"I will," she can't stop crying, "for Kami-sake," she sobs, "please…I'm not ready."

He rests his hand on her head and exhales, mouth bubbling as he does. "It's okay Kagome."

"It's not," she can't stop crying "It's not…why didn't you tell me? Why didn't he tell me?" _Why can't I stop this?_

**Please review!**

**Now if you want to see that convo between Sesshomaru and Inuyasha let me know. I have not written it yet. I was thinking of adding it after this but I wasn't sure. I was going to put it in Inukag drabbles but I don't want to rush 20 years in the future with that yet. So...if you want it and I get more than 3 people asking let me know and I'll add it at the end of the next chapter.**

**Now let's all geek out about the new series!**

**Next up Sesshomaru-present**

**Kimmigirl9: **What about now?

**Smmahamazing: **Oh Yeah I plan on doing more with the two of them in the drabbles. I get nervous putting too much Rin in there because it's supposed to be about Inukag but it's also where I drop easter eggs for this story. In my mind Rin is very close to everyone who raised her and Sango/Kagome would be mother/sister figures, Inuyasha her friend and, Kohaku a potential lover which does happen in my story until she realizes it never would have been a passionate love for either of them.

**Gogo: **I joke, that I came up with it first...but man do I feel weird writing this right now, in the middle of a pandemic!

**Esso1979x2: **HAHAHAHAHA I love your passionate responses!

**Luin-fanel: **thank you! I am actually trying to find Rumiko's fanmail so I can send this chapter to her. She's probably gonna hate me for what is about to happen. Yeah school lets out June 15th for my kids but I am so worried about September. I need them in school. Homeschool doesn't work for us, so I just don't know.

**Itzatakahashi: **Honestly the next few chapters had me in tears writing them. I can't believe I am so mean. It's so bittersweet. I want Inuyasha's death to really hit Sesshomaru.

**Mechine: **Thank you! I know, this chapter killed me! I may write in the drabbles at some point about their first meeting. I am a few requests behind on there. But I am doing what I can considering the current events.

**belsdem: **Thank you for review on Instinct. I love that you 'got it'. That story was very emotionally complex and I feel like a lot of people expected one ending that didn't happen. Well you got more Inuyasha, the new series is upcoming and I am so excited! I have POTS. It makes life very interesting, let me tell you. I really try to mimic Rumiko's writing. Nothing was ever just fluffy madness, there was conflict, heart ache and all that stuff.

**Harukisempai13: **Now why would I tell you the cure for future sesshomaru? I love watching you guess though, but I can tell you that yes, a big part of the cure was in that chapter and EVERYONE missed it but one reviewer. Maybe in the next past section it might become more clear. I wish they would have gotten along sooner, before this.

**New Readerx2: **You are welcome! I have finally really started writing more. Now if only I could just get through the rough patch in the last part, I'd be good, but I got it I think and the more that comes to me, the more awesome it's going to be. Yes for the moment Sesshomaru has kept his secret from Rin for a year and a half. Whether or not Natsuki has visited I don't know. Basically at this point the story is very long and in order to write the past timeline I have to cover 10 years of the disease. So I am picking and choosing what to add.


	38. Sesshomaru-present IV

**AHHHHH Inuyasha sequel! So I am still freaking out, but I am getting the feeling that there is some plotness going on as to why they won't say who Sesshomaru is with.**

**And OMG thank you all! We broke 300 reviews! Can you believe it? I certainly can't. I really am blessed with the best audience ever!**

**Make no mistakes, I plan on finishing this story before the sequel comes out. I have been stuck in this one spot for a few weeks but I think I finally hammered it out. Now I just have to get both timelines moving again from there.**

**I wrote it ya'll...Sesshomaru's conversation with Inuyasha will be in a later chapter, because it has spoilers for the next couple chapters and I didn't want to edit them out. It will be called ****Sesshomaru Nocturne****. **

**Recap: Last time on Star Trek Voyager...shit I mean the future timeline! Sesshomaru was treating Nina/Rin when he started convulsing because of the advanced side effects of the coronavirus...I mean the demon virus. We pick up with Sesshomaru waking up after hemorrhaging.**

**And a giant big thank you to all the wonderful people on tumblr, AO3 and FFN who have contacted me and asked if they offered me the chance to write Hanyo no Yashahime...that would be a no. Or that the new series better hold a candle to mine. Like that was the egoboost of the century and trust me I will work hard not to make this tank by the end because things are going to get very intense for our characters and very quickly.**

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**Sesshomaru-present**

He's soiled. He can feel it even before he opens his crusty eyes. The lights are dimmed. He feels an IV in his arm upper wrist and reaches to pull it out, but is caught by a willowy white hand. "You shouldn't do that."

"Natsuki," he whispers quietly. He would know the feel of her slender fingers anywhere. His throat is hoarse, he feels weak.

She sits on the bed next to him, even that movement makes him nauseas. "You really are trying to leave me aren't you?" She is dressed in all her finery, maroon and teal kimonos he had made as gifts. Golden earrings he bought her after their first century together and sapphire combs that were a thank you for giving him Taka. Natsuki reminds him of his mother, which inevitably makes him think of the whiny puppy in the other room and whether or not he should tell his lover that their daughter came home. _Taka…_

He swallows tasting blood in his throat. "How much did I lose?"

"If you were human you would be dead," Haruto Yamamoto comes from the side of the room. "Four liters."

A bitter chuckle escapes his mouth. If only exsanguination could lead to his demise, he would have died a hundred times by now. It's only then that Sesshomaru notices how un-human he looks. His fangs are in place, the makeup is off his face. His mokomoko has puffed around his shoulders cradling his head. He will have to explain the secret of the cure he has kept silent for more than a decade now. "Did you take care of the girl?" He can't remember what happened or if the procedure began.

"No." Haruto sits down on a chair and slides next to him. "We've been using your blood and the blood of your son to cure cancer?" The elder doctor's face is lined. Worry wafts off him in waves. Oddly, worry smells like mushrooms just as they start to ooze and film on top.

"Who told you?" he wonders, blinking his eyes.

"Izayoi," Natsuki interjects. "It was hard for them to remain quiet. They were alone and the injections weren't working. You are hooked up to Tsukimaru's blood. Taiyomaru is on his way. It's still transfusing to stabilize you. When it's done I'll take you home."

"Dammit." He kicks himself for making a scene. "My cover is blown."

"So if I understand it, you are a fourteen hundred year old dog-demon?" Haruto questions him in a gruffer and more challenging tone than he is used to conversing with him.

"Guilty." Sesshomaru stairs blankly at the ceiling. "The procedure is safe, you know it. Give the child a chance at life. Did you at least give her platelets to stop her own bleeding?"

"She's stable. She's spending the night here for observation, not that we normally do that. But I couldn't very well tell her mother I had seizing dog demon on the floor. Tell me why I shouldn't report you?"

"Because I'll kill you," Natsuki's says plainly, emotionless. It's not a threat, it's a fact. A contingent they planned on if this ever happened. "I should kill all of you." She would and he knows it.

"It's unethical what you've been doing," Haruto keeps his arms crossed, even with a sheen of sweat forming on his brow and fear prickling off him like soured pepper and lye.

_Scare him, Natsuki, _he thinks so she can't hear. Their minds have become one and at times it makes it difficult to hide himself from her, which will be problematic, considering who is in the other room, not just Taka. _My heart, _he pines for her.

"And it's ethical what was done to me?" If he had tears left, he would cry. "That one race would decide that they are so much purer and holier than mine? That we were cast to the shadows to be nothing more than myths and legends? Bedtime stories to tell children? That the disease still exists and what is left of my kind is plagued with seizures that will destroy them?"

Haruto's face softens. "Sessho my friend, tell me what happened? You are one of the most brilliant doctors we have ever seen. Your cure is legendary, but if I am going to break code and continue to use donations from youkai…I want the whole story. How did you fall ill?"

"You can't help me," Sesshomaru says quietly. He's searched through every medical journal for the last seventy years. He's been to every continent and studied every form of medicine available and hasn't been able to find a cure.

"And if he could? You arrogant bastard?" Natsuki slaps his cheek just as the world is fading out. "Wake up! Or I'll hit you again."

The impact startles him awake and makes his jaw sting. "I don't know what caused it or what they used."

"They?" Haruto asks.

"Monks." He groans feeling his stomach rile. "I'm thirsty Natsuki."

She takes a cup from the tray next to him, helping him sit up. "You're filthy." She picks up his blood stained hair. "Is there somewhere I can bathe him?"

It's hard to have any pride left when your covered in your own blood and excrement. He drinks the cold water through the straw. "The procedure will not harm our patient Haruto. Give her the cure."

"Whose blood is it?" Haruto stands firmly.

"Tsukimaru's. It must come from pure-blooded inu-yokai only. In the past I used my own blood until it was degraded." He drinks again letting the cold liquid wash into his throat. It soothes the burn he feels in the back of his throat. "Save her." His mind flashes to Rin. _Is she cursed to suffer until she meets me? Destined to die and then live again?_

"I'll do it…we don't have another recovery room. Will you be okay with company?" Haruto asks.

"Yes," especially this company. He is insatiably curious about the girl in the other room. Does she know who she is? Would she know who he was? He thumbs his chest and nearly starts. The scar is returning. He lifts the hospital gown he's been dressed in, the faintest outline of the scar that symbolized his bond to Rin is returning. The jagged, rootlike scar that Bukoseno branded him with is puckering his skin. _I would know your soul. My heart._

"What's wrong?" Natsuki asks him, like a beacon into his soul, picking up on what he wants to keep hidden.

"Nothing," Sesshomaru mutters and pats her cheek fondly.

"You have a redundant heart, did you know that?" Haruto inquires laughing. "We turned the leads off when the EKG was off the charts."

"I knew it." He remembers the first time he did an X-ray on himself. His lungs had two extra lobes. He has a second heart that beats in time or in place of the first one. Those are only some of the differences between himself and humans.

"You're really a demon?"

"Do we look human?" Natsuki crosses her arms, folding her mokomoko around herself. For emphasis she raises a hand high into the air and lets a whip flash around the room nearly slapping the doctor in the face.

Haruto ducks holding his head and protests, "He did. Although I wondered if you were an albino." He smiles at his medical partner. "When she is finished, I will allow Nina back here. Should we let her service dog in?"

He laughs to himself. "Yes. I don't think she will be an issue. Keep the foster mother out."

"What did they do to you?" Haruto asks again.

He shakes his head, even he doesn't know. By the time he fell ill it was contagious through bodily fluids and surface contact. They did what they could to minimize transmission but alcohol and nitrile gloves didn't exist then, neither did masks.

The other doctor approaches Sesshomaru's bed and sits on the edge. "I want to help you my friend. Is there any way to save you? You've been using the blood of two of your sons to manage this illness. Is it bloodborne? Something in our specialty?"

"I've been searching…I have samples from before I was infected, don't ask me how. I was going to compare them to samples from now. If I can get out of this bed," he exhales heavily.

"You need to sleep," Natsuki places a chaste kiss on his lips. "Rest. Can you help him?" she asks the doctor.

"I can try. Why aren't you so sick?"

She just sighs. "It's a long story."

"I'll run the procedure and then I expect to hear all about it." He leaves and the couple is alone.

"You will care for Izayoi and Mayumi," he whispers through labored breaths. The edges of his vision are blackening again. He can feel the effects of the loss of blood. He needs Taiyomaru's to complete the cocktail, to stay in this world.

"Stop it Sesshomaru." She wipes her eyes, claws drifting past her eyebrows. Her lips touch his along with the warmth of her yoki.

"You will care for them. There is money in an account for both of them. Whether they decide to go to college or…whatever they decide." He doesn't know what his nieces want. He promised his brother he would care for them.

"Please?" Natsuki begs him crying on his chest. "You can't leave me."

"In an envelope in mother's room, there is an something for Izayoi. There is one that could match her. She won't be able to be with a human, although he won't like it."

"Sesshomaru," she sobs against him. "I didn't wait a century for you, so you could die like this."

"It's okay," he strokes her hair with his thumbs, "it will be fine in the end." She shakes and shivers against him in tears. For once he feels guilt for the thing that ties them together, that he stole her youth and will leave her a widow with no one left to fill the void he will leave.

**Please review...oh things are looking bleak. I hope his colleagues can help him figure out how to save his kind!**

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**Next post, next week will be another Interlude so some Taka/Nina time.**

**I have no reading recommendations because I haven't really been reading fanfic that much, gasp! **

**Lucky Seven is awesome by Silver sin of the Cosmos **

**Girl in the Mirror which is Fire Emblem by Sarathechimera**

**I've been reading a lot of Jodi Picoult and Janet Evanovich stories too. Fox and O'hare is a great series and Jodi Picoult is my inspiration for emotion!**

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**Kimmigirl9: **I think the next couple chapters are just gonna be a cry fest

**Smmahamazing: **I wrote it! but it doesn't fit here. I need to wait a few chapters. The tears, the tears are real and keep being real!

**Mechine: **Oh I know. It's coming and it's gonna be brutal! I hope to finish this. I have so many twists planned at the end I am just knitting them together right now. I did exactly what I told myself not to do, which was make a ridiculously complex story, but whatever.

**New Readerx3: **Oh you make me so happy! Yes I will finish this story! I must before the sequel or my motivation might get shot. Or it might not, if I hate it. I'm not saying anything about the seclusion chapter, but I love that you are enjoying this story and there are so many tear moments in it. No you read it right, I have been known in the past to be like really? An update shit...like I have this brilliant SVU fanfic I want to write but certain things from last season messed up which characters I want to use but since I did not start it in the first place...I think we're good. Especially because I am diehard sessRin and if this show pairs Sess with someone else, I'll just have to live in my stories.

**Ginax3: **I'm trying! I've been brainstorming with a friend to get this out of the way. There is literally this chunk I have been stuck on that I am finally fleshing out. It's just taken scrapping a few chapters. I know it's hard to accept a girl that dresses like a boy but on the official website it says Towa is dresses masculine because it makes fighting easier. No worries I plan on finishing this!

**Itzatakahashi: **What were you doing up so early/late? I personally have been having sleep issues. My brain has not calmed down enough to function and with my family life still being insane, it's just been hard. LOL My husband also brings home the bacon. I was planning on graduating this year but it's not happening.

**Guest#1: **I've thought about reincarnating him but I don't know how to add it into the story.

**Ivrielx2: **I am so glad you are okay! Like whenever I lose reviewers I start getting worried that they got sick. Feel free to leave it in your native language. I speak more than just English, also Spanish and Hebrew if that is one of your languages if not google translate helps. I am still seeing if Sess/Nina happens. I want it to happen but I need it to be organic. If I can make organic it will happen and you are right, she is young, so we shall see what happens. I have twists and turns planned for that. Thank you so much and keep reviewing, I missed you!

**Esso1979: **You crack me up!

**Harukasempai13: **You are getting warmer :) I swear this whole thing with who was with Sess unless it's plot related I am actually upset it hasn't been revealed. It makes me so mad how people have responded to it. ON tumblr sess/rin shippers are being attacked left and right and on twitter. The foreign markets seem fine with it, but a huge part of me is just like, please stop the hate so we can enjoy.


	39. Interlude IX

**You know I meant to get this chapter up last night. Instead I was busy rendering a picture of Taka and posted it on Tumblr. It's actually perfect for this chapter. So if you want to jump over to Tumblr you will find the picture. For only the second time I've been using Krita and first time using my art tablet, I think it looks pretty awesome. I'm still learning :)**

**Interlude IX**

Night turns to day and they are forced to wait. First they were told the cure wasn't ready and then that it might not be available at all. It was then Taka knew that it was because her father had collapsed and now they knew the truth that had been secret before. Nina hasn't gotten any better and the guilt of taking her out of Japan when she was a child begins to eat at her.

As Nina sleeps, weak and pale, Taka paces back and forth in the patient room. Overnight a nasal canula was lassoed around Nina's nose to make breathing easier and new labs were drawn to see how far the leukemia has progressed.

In the night, she felt her mother's powerful yoki enter the office, but could do nothing more than watch through a crack in the door, gazing down the hall. She wanted to shout at the top of her lungs, "Hahaue, I'm here!" Her mother's visage has aged with dark lines around her eyes and bitter wrinkles along her fingers. She felt the swirl of yoki, her mother calming her father's trimmers and then everyone bustling back and forth, searching for answers and she could do nothing but watch. Nina took precedence and she was fairly certain if her mother found her, she would be locked away in the castle in the sky again. _Not that I know what will happen to me once Chichiue takes her, if he survives. There has to be something to save him._

The greatest torment was being so closed to her father and so far away at the same time. Thoughts flew in and out of her mind when her father collapsed. She could have gotten a line in but even she could have told them it wouldn't have stopped without her mother but then she would be found out and she really didn't want to end up in the castle again.

While the thoughts were eating at her, a second surge of powerful yoki caught her attention making her skin crawl. Tsukimaru arrived and instead of going straight to their father as he should have, he scared the shit out of Taka when he blasted the door to Nina's room open, nearly waking the girl and her mother. The cherry oak slammed against the wall and his eyes were blazing with a fury she hadn't seen before.

Taka took a defensive stance in front of Nina. She wouldn't let anything happen to her little girl.

_Why the hell did you bring her back? _His eyes burned holes into her skin.

_Because you were the stupid ass-hole who made me take her in the first place!_

If it wouldn't have brought Nina and Hannah out of their slumber, she would have attacked then, but instead she let her hackles rise and her eyes deepened until the red was nearly purple with blood lust. _Just try it you little fucker._

_As if you could do more than scratch me? _Tsukimaru laughed audibly. _The last time we sparred, you cried because you broke a nail._

_I'm already in my true form. I'll kill you before you touch her._

And that was how they ended up in the alleyway behind the office. The only reason the entire office didn't hear them was because of the thunderstorm outside. The rain slapped down on their bodies and thunder pierced the skies, swallowing their battle cries.

Tsukimaru slammed Taka back first against the brick wall, making her ribs crack and she responded by spitting dokkasu into his eye and punching him in the stomach as hard as she could. So hard it sent shockwaves up her bones and made her knuckles crack. Fighting never was her strong suit. _You have Chichiue's mind, _her mother had told her many times, _but not his strength._

The blow barely made him flinch and he grabbed her around the neck, flinging her against another wall, making the back of her head bleed. She cupped the injury in her hand and flew at him again. This time she bit his hand, when he tried to catch her, sinking her teeth deep into his skin and gassing the flesh with dokkasu.

He crushed her head into one of the dumpsters and kicked her feet out from under her, sending her careening on the ground. They ended up rolling in the trash, struggling for dominance. He landed on top of her, pinning her arms over her head and straddling her hips to keep her down. "You are going to break our mother's heart," Tsukimaru rebuked her.

"And you are going to kill Chichiue!" she shrieked back at him, struggling to get loose. "Let me go!"

"You never were a good fighter."

She throws her knee up, hitting him in the crotch. "And you never learned to guard your goods." Taka flipped upright and threw her hair over her shoulder. Tsukimaru stumbled backwards cupping himself. Taka thought she had the upper hand until he blocked her from kicking him in the face.

"You're dressed like a whore."

She wore tight fitting jeans and a spaghetti-strapped white shirt that was now sheen from the rain, making her pink nipples poke through the material. Something Chichiue would kill her for. "And you look like like…like a…"

"You can't even think of something." He threw her down again stomach first, cracking her chin on the black pavement and then straddled her back. "You don't get it!"

"You don't get it!" She grunted in pain as he forced her arms over her head and pinned her legs with his feet. "Get off me!"

"She screamed that!" Tsukimaru fumed at Taka. "You don't know!"

"Don't know what?" Taka struggled against him, attempting to flail her arms to no avail. He always was better at fighting than she was. By the time she was born there was no one to fight, no need to survive. "Haha-ue loves Chichiue, fine…but that doesn't mean you get to decide the fate of one little girl. I swear to everything that is holy, if you lay one claw on that her, I will kill you. I'll rip your fucking face off! Let me go!"

"Really Taka?" Tsukimaru burst out laughing. "I could kill you now."

"Then they'll help me. You're ruining my hair. Get off!" She tried kicking and biting but to no avail, he was too strong.

"You really think they could?" Tsukimaru gloated, making her want to prove to him that she was stronger than he thinks she is.

"What the hell is your problem? Chichiue is dying anyway! She's one little girl! She can't hurt them!" Her heart clenched at the thought of letting her father go. _There has to be a way to save him._

"What is my problem? My problem is that he left her in heat for months. He left her in heat for so long she was feral by the time he came and that he held her down and fucked her while she screamed for him to stop! Kami, Taka are you so thick-headed!" He shoves her face into the ground, smashing her nose. At the same time she feels him ripped off her, leaving claw marks in her shoulder blades.

Taka cupped her bleeding nose and saw Taiyomaru in front of her. He held Tsukimaru by the arm and then just as quickly as he appeared, threw his brother on the ground, pinning him the same way he had done to Taka. "Taiyomaru." Taka runs to him, throwing her arms around his neck, sobbing. "It's not true. Please? It's not true!" Chichiue would never do that. He wouldn't.

Taiyomaru shakes his head.

"And you wonder why he has always favorited you? Why they wouldn't let you leave the castle!? You were a consolation prize!" Tsukimaru bellows at her. "She didn't want him, but he took her anyway!"

"Go inside Taka. Yamamoto-sama is going to wake Nina soon. And you," Taiyomaru kicks Tsukimaru in the waist so hard Taka hears one of his ribs snap.

"Get off me!" Tsukimaru threw Taiyomaru and that was the last she had seen before running back into the office, changing forms and pretending to be the adorable white puppy that followed Nina around, but god it ached. Her stomach felt like it was stretched, she had to rinse her skin of the blood and nearly broke into tears again when she got back on the bed. Tsukimaru kicked her ass.

Now she waits and paces. Her mind reels with what her brother said. _I am not…he wouldn't. He would never. Chichiue despises rape. Oh, Chichiue, you're so sick! Please don't die! _She stops pacing when the door at last echoes with three light raps and Yoshi enters with Haruto. "Excuse me," Haruto speaks with a thick accent.

"Oh." Hannah wakes up, rubbing her eyes. Exhaustion litters her face. She looks more like a raccoon than a woman. She sits up quickly, yawning. "What's happening?"

"Can we move dog?" Yoshi asks, sitting down onto the bed.

"Down, Lucy." _Down _is emphasized with the point to the ground. Against her will, Taka is annoyed that she is being treated like a common mutt. She lands with a slight whimper, feeling like her entire body quaked with the land.

"Is the dog hurt?" Yamamoto asks.

"I don't think so. She doesn't like doctor's offices. What is going on? We've been waiting for hours. If you aren't going to help my daughter, I want to take her home."

Haruto runs a wrinkled hand through his dusty hair. "We will go ahead with the procedure. It's simple, but she will need to be observed for a day after we finish running the medicine. The observation room is for patients only—"

"But she is just a child!" Hannah protests angrily.

"The dog is welcome, but the girl will not be alone. Dr. Rinata suffered a mild episode that required treatment. He will keep her company. You may visit tomorrow morning. Yoshi."

"Hai," Yoshi answers quickly and listens to Nina's heart. The movement wakes the girl up and she immediately reaches a hand out.

_Familiar_, Taka thinks to herself. _She searching for something familiar._

Hannah catches her hand and begins explaining what is happening. Nina gets upset and Taka knows it's that she will be left alone. Taka grins internally, knowing her father will watch over Nina. _Just like he did before. Stupid Tsukimaru. You can't stop fate. Chichiue what did you do?_

Hannah wishes Nina a goodbye, nervously letting her go and exits the room. The two doctors begin speaking. "She's close," Yoshi tells Haruto as pulls down the hospital gown, taking the catheter out to administer the medicine. "If she had come a few days later, she would be dead."

Taka groans and leaps back onto the bed, laying down in Nina's lap. _I won't let her die._

"Hey," Haruto says in English. "Down."

_Fuck off, _Taka snorts and growls at him.

"Then get off her chest, so I can listen," Haruto says in Japanese and Taka obliges. "Did you understand me?" Haruto looks at her completely shocked.

_No, I just decided to move, because her bony hips are more comfortable, moron._

"Be our luck, it's another dog demon in disguise," Yoshi's voice shivers as he speaks. "How are we going to get out of here?"

Taka snorts again, trying not to laugh. _If you only knew. God this one is cute. _She licks her lips looking at Yoshi like he's a piece of meat. He has nice muscles along his arms, a slender build, a beautiful bald head and she glances down at his scrubs, _not bad. Maybe he would pop my cherry. Maybe a one night stand. Maybe if Chichiue stays in that bed so he won't kill him. Oh why can't I have sex? Except I feel like Tsuki just used me as a punching bag._

"Get out of here?" Haruto asks, leaving the room and then coming back with a liter sized IV bag full of a swirling red liquid.

"They're going to kill us."

"Only if we don't help him."

"You really want to help him?"

"You don't?" Haruto hangs the bag and hooks it up to Nina's catheter. "We swore an oath to help those who are ill, to do no harm. I've stood by his side for ten years, seen him shed tears over lost patients, had him over for dinner. He even helped when my wife had our last child. We thought the baby was dead—"

_Tenseiga, _Taka sighs, watching the red liquid snake its way down the bolus into the line and Nina's chest. _The baby probably was dead._

"We're going to help. Now this is all she needs. Do you think one of his children speaks better English than we do?"

As if on cue, Taiyomaru enters the room with a bruised chin and a scrape on his neck. His hair is plaited into a thick braid down his back. "I do," he says through a half opened door.

"If I catch you two fighting again when your Chichiue is on his deathbed and you two carry the blood he needs to stay alive, I swear I will hog tie you both and only keep you alive long enough to heal him! You stupid children!" Natsuki screams in the hallway.

"He started it!" Tsukimaru barks at her.

"Shut up!" she screams even louder.

Taiyomaru shuts the door and sits on the bed. He fingers curl through Taka's fur and she shivers as he manipulates her yoki and knits her injuries back together. It's so warm it makes her nerves spark.

Nina grabs Taiyomaru's face, touching it from top to bottom, his nose, his eyes, then his ears, but then she starts signing furiously. _Oh my god, what the hell are you doing to my dog? Why are you white and red?_

_She knows you aren't human, _Taka tells Taiyomaru. _She can see you healing me._

"Oops," he says audibly. "Well?" He raises an eyebrow at the two doctors.

"Is she okay?" Haruto asks.

"She is…aren't you little one?" Taiyomaru speaks in English, cupping one of her hands. "You look just like my mother," he mouths so the other two can't hear. "Get her computer."

Yoshi digs in her bag and brings out her laptop setting it by her fingers. "We've hooked her up to the medicine. Very soon she will experience a high fever, possibly a seizure. Once it's finished, we'll move her to recovery with your father."

Taiyomaru smiles softly and tells her that she will be with Rinata-sama, which brings a big smile to her face. Once the two doctors leave, Taiyomaru helps Nina lay back down and brings a washcloth to clean her brow. He touches her heart. His hand lights up and Nina's eyes bulge.

"What are you doing?" Taka changes quickly to humanoid form.

"It's still there, barely. She was born with it."

"Born with what?"

"Their bond. It is Ka-san."

Taka sits down with them, when Nina's computer starts speaking. "Why are there two of you?"

Taka picks up Nina's hand and starts signing quickly. _We're both nurses—_but before she can finish her lie, Taiyomaru has his hands against both sides of Nina's head with a smirk on his face and Taka's hair rises at the yoki being channeled by her hanyou brother. "What are you doing?"

Nina's body sways and her eyes roll into the back of her head. Taka catches the girl. Her skin is already heating with fever from the treatment. Taka picks up the washcloth and starts wiping her forehead, while Taiyomaru once again touches Nina's temples and sets his forehead against the girl's.

"I will kill you—"

"Shut up Taka," Taiyomaru spits out. His yoki rises so high that Taka feels like she can't breathe.

"There it is," he whispers.

"There what is?" Taka grabs his arm to throw him, but it's like moving a stone.

"Her sight," Taiyomaru grins as if he's a little boy again.

"Her sight?" Taka's mouth falls open, but there's no time to speak, the nurses are coming and she must be the adorable dog, Lucy again. _Her sight?_

**Please review...what wait just happened? And what did Taiyomaru do this time? And what did Tsukimaru say? OOOO**

**And to all my lovely reviewers! Sorry! FFN didn't post reviews for days. I'm sorry it took so long for them to get up.**

**Coming next: Rin-past, when hopefully next week.**

**I found a new story called something like I am in love with the Class President. It's Sess/Rin and has a really really long weird name. I think it might be old I don't know. **

**Kimmigirl9: **Yes his connection is returning. Even his body knows it's her.

**Ivrielx4: **Muchas gracias por escribe la critica in espanol! Ahorra, puedo practicar escribiendo en espanol. No tengo mucho gente aqui a que necessitas tiempo para escribir ingles. Lo mismo para mi cuando necessito hablar o escribir en las ultras idiomas. Yo quiero que Taka y Nina reunirse tambien pero que Nina piensas? Tsukimaru se metera problemas con su padre mucho. Y si, Taiyomaru puede manipular el (yoki) de su padre en todos los hermanos, Rin y Natsuki porque su padres lo concibieron en puro amor. En el ultimate capitulo de Instinct, Sesshomaru llevo su sobrinas antes de la inferma. Soy feliz que to disfrutas mi historias~

**Mechine: **I love keeping everyone on their toes! They have to find a cure, I just hope they can in time! Maybe new eyes will help. HAHA I am also hoping for SessRin in the sequel but we shall see. In America people are very against it and it's really difficult seeing people being so negative. Their bond is very strong. I love it and I hope they get back together too.

**Luin Fanelx2: **Should I be sorry I made you cry? I am very difficult to make cry too, but I made myself cry soo many times writing this so far. I can't wait to post Sesshomaru- Nocturne where we can see how Inuyasha makes peace with dying. There was so much drama in the last chapter and I think in this chapter too. But it drives the story.

**Harukasempai13: **You remind me of all the people trying to figure out what happened in the sequel! Well...I'm not going to say anything. I guess we shall see what happens with Natsuki and Sesshomaru once she figures it out. I'm excited to get there. I want to just have fun knowing their is a sequel but now I have no interest in it, because of all the hatred. But that's okay, hopefully one the sequel is out, we'll all be happy.

**Autobotgirl2234: **So glad you like it!

**Newreaderx2: **I know! But you know what I like about it? The amount of people that have complained against my stories because I am mean, can't even now, because whoever the mom is loses their child for 10 years. (I hope it's SessRin). Yeah Natsuki was pretty much finished by the time Rin came around and there is a part of me that is sad that she cannot earn his love now, but without her Sesshomaru would be dead. I do like that my stories aren't as dark now LOL!


	40. Rin-Past VI

**Hello all you amazing, wonderful, awesome readers of mine! I was thinking about posting two chapters a week again, which I still might but this week just did not work out. I think we're one chapter a week until my kids are done with school and then after that we can see about going back to two. **

**I am almost over this terrible hump I was on with this story. There was this part I couldn't get past but I did it. Now I just need more time to sit down and finish this story. Goal is to have this done BEFORE hanyou yashahime comes out and spoils the fact that I only think of Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru as their kids. But Towa and Setsuna are soooo cute! **

**Okay...anyway I have nothing more productive to say because my mind is zapped. **

**And it's not a spoiler to say, you all basically nailed it with Tsukimaru. How can a child understand what he saw and why did he never confront his father about it? Instead he takes it out on a helpless little girl and then gets pissed when his sister turns on him?**

**Rin-past**

Time passes. No one was allowed outside of the barrier after the incident with Yuki and the monks. Instead of villagers coming and going from the barrier, only the strongest among them were allowed to leave to hunt and expected to return before sunrise. Before winter set in, Rin stockpiled livestock, goats, chickens, cows and yaks to supply the village with meat to survive the bitter winter. The garden was doubled in size to stockpile the food and new huts were built to protect youkai looking for shelter. Their home was no longer for couples like she and Sesshomaru but a haven for all who sought refuge.

But winter brought a reprieve from the attacks by monks. It was too cold, even for them to venture out for the sake of purifying but that didn't stop the risk of those coming and going from the barrier. As new villagers came during the warmer months and into the fall, Sesshomaru and the sentinels had to lay false tracks and yoki trails to distract the monks. On more than one occasion he was late coming home because he knew he was being followed. At night he recounted to Rin the lives he had taken to protect their home. Demons across Japan began to shelter and venture out less, making it easier for him to remain home and leave his boarders guarded by his allies.

Sota and Sayako sent word that even the ogres had returned to the mountains. Koga and Ayame pushed their wolves higher into the peaks of the mountains where the weather is the coldest and humans don't venture. And their family by Goshinboku. They hadn't heard from them in weeks.

Rin finds Sesshomaru in his study one night, bent over a piece of parchment, biting his thumb claw. Something she has not seen him do before. So undignified and raw. that it makes her worry. She walks up behind him, dancing against the cold marble flooring of their home and massages his shoulders, embracing him from behind. "What is it my love?"

"Tsukimaru," Sesshomaru whispers, staring at the letter he has penned.

She leans over his shoulder, her mouth falling open. "You won't visit him so often?"

Sesshomaru grips her wrist and pulls her in front of him, down against his chest. "You're cold."

"It's winter and my bedmate was missing." She kisses the underside of his chin. "Why?"

"It's no longer safe."

"They can't get to the castle in the sky," she whispers, hoping that it soothes him.

"Until they find one that can fly," he speaks more coldly than the winter air wrapping around them.

"Sesshomaru—"

"Don't," he bites out and it makes her heart drop.

"Fine." Sometimes solace is best, this she knows from being with him for nearly fifteen years. He catches her wrist and pulls her back, kissing her neck in lazy circles, sending shivers down her spine. She holds his cheek in her hand as her back arches and he grips her breast, making heat flame in her center. "Mmh," she moans, "you don't have to."

"I can't sleep," he says with so much sadness hidden that it makes her skin crack with energy. He bends her over the table, arching her back. He breath catches at the sound of his silks loosening and she spreads herself for him, knowing before it happens that he is going to take her quickly.

"UH!" the cry is loud and shakes the wall. He's hard and for a moment it hurts, but she knows he needs it. Her petals relax, beneath his penetration and she feels for her bud, making her hips tense against his.

"I hurt you," he mutters in her ear, so sensuously and seductively she clamps down on his shaft, begging him to move. "Forgive me, my heart."

"It's okay, my love." Her head lulls to the side as she cups his chin, warmed by their bond, by the comfort she knows she is giving him. "It's only temporary. You will see your son again, oh! Not so hard." The tips of his ears have always been his tender spot. She rolls one in her fingers, until ragged breath calms and his thrusts are less like he is hammering into her and more like a symphony of two lovers. She rolls her hips against his, stretching the fabric of her kimono until the skin of her shoulders and back are visible and she can feel his mouth, sucking at her skin.

"Take…mmmh…my love." She grips his hips, gasping at the heat, how his rod is on fire between her legs, the strength of his hips as he plunges deeper and deeper. She can feel him tensing, and tugging.

"My heart," he groans out, making her heart sore. "I love you." For one with claws so sharp a sword is unnecessary, his hands are tender and gentle as they explore her body, twirling her nipples, her rubbing down the center of her stomach, slicing through her obi until she is as bare as he is. They slide lower, cupping her sex from the front, rolling her clit until she sees stars and calls his name. "SESSHOMARU!" The last four thrusts make her legs shake until she feels him dripping down her leg and he holds her tightly from behind.

"Rin," he says, lovingly as he collapses, taking her with him. She's wrapped in what's left of her kimono and his under layers as he breaths heavily against between her breasts. Whether it's from the sweat that has peppered their bodies or unshed tears, a slow drizzle of moisture snakes its way down her body and his body shakes, the last word she hears, "my son." And her heart breaks, knowing how he loves his children and how much it hurts that he can't see Tsukimaru.

As winter fades into to spring, Rin gets antsy again. Nearly two years after Yuki was attacked, stories began to spread of a mysterious disease so similar to what Inuyasha struggles against. Miroku had to extend the barrier to protect them. They feared spring. Would it mean an upsurge in attacks again?

Rin works in the public dining room, setting out plates for Sesshomaru's grand arrival. Instead of meetings with allies, his returns are met with invitations for the villagers to join them and celebrate the Lord and Lady. It's simple, but it makes their world seem less dark. Even Yuki helps happily, knowing the joy this brings her parents and the other villages. She's shadowed by Rei-chan and Shiori-chan and the other hanyou girls from the village, while Harutoga runs with his neko and kitsune friends. Taiyomaru ever the strange boy he is, trails is mother.

"Rin-sama," Katsumoto bows low to the ground. "I have an urgent letter from the village for Sesshomaru-sama."

"He isn't home," Rin says nervously. "Let me see it." She holds her hand out taking the parchment. She reads the letter once, then again and again. She covers her mouth as tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes. "Hisato!" she screams for her own guard.

"What is it?" He comes around the corner, drawing one of his short blades, looking for a fight.

"What is it Ka-san?" Harutoga asks, while they walk around the dinner-table.

"It's Ojisan." She wipes her eyes. "Hisato, the Meido stone," she says quickly. "Can you send for Gobodo-sama?"

"He's dead?" Hisato balks.

"Inuyasha is dying." The tears won't get off her face, leaving her slapping them off. She closes her eyes and focuses on her bond calling for her lover. "We may not make it in time."

Hisato covers his heart. "She's coming."

"Katsumoto, I need your speed. Go to the southern-border. Sayako and Sota don't know." She coughs, trying to catch her breath. Her heart is fluttering faster than she is moving, making her feel dizzy. She leans on Hisato for support. Inuyasha was ever her friend, their strongest ally, and the one she could talk to the easiest growing up.

"The illness he had?" Hisato inquires. "I'll get Aun to begin our journey."

"He's not fast enough." Rin wipes her eyes, afraid that they won't make it in time.

"I can drop you off if you can hang on tight enough before I go and get his other child." Katsumoto motions for them to follow. "Just hold on tight and don't fall off. I won't be responsible if you fall."

"I will ensure they won't fall. Quickly, Katsumoto." Hisato rushes the children out the door, piling them onto Katsumoto once he has transformed. He sits behind Rin, keeping one hand around her waist and the other holds to the black fur beneath them. "He'll kill you if they fall."

Yuki holds pushes Taiyomaru against Hisato's back, and then digs her claws into his side, while Harutoga sits behind her. For the first time in their long years, Rin pushes her face against Hisato's chest, finding comfort in their friendship. "He can't Hisato."

"He won't. The meido will revive him." But somehow Hisato's affirmation brings her little comfort.

**Please review! Thank you all for reviewing and letting me know what you think!**

**If you were curious where we are compared to how much is written. Page 116/283...and I probably need another 50-75 pages to finish this. So we're like 1/3rd done! And the story is going to be maybe 50,000 words more than Instinct. Getting there! Which also means I'm nearly 3/4ths done writing this.**

**Coming next Sesshomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past **

**Itzatakahashi- **You know when I write fanfiction, my goal is, what skill can I practice writing. This story is writing present-tense and cliffhangers! I'll try to wrap up all the answers by the end but if I don't, you can ask and I'll answer at the end.

**Kimmigirl9: **I know...I think the next few chapters are going to be killers. Actually, maybe this whole story!

**Luin-Fanel- **I think rape may possibly be subject to interpretation surrounding the events that happened. Tsukimaru was around 150 years old at the time and still very much a child, witnessing something through a child's eyes and yes Sesshomaru was mourning Rin and had no choice but to return to Natsuki. I need to get Netflix. My kids have way more screen time than I would like right now but we are still healthy which I am so thankful for.

**Ginax3: **I think I agree with you that Tsukimaru's view of reality may be skewed badly. And as for the rape...well? Tsukimaru was a child and what he saw was through a child's eyes. You are right that Sesshomaru has always tried to do right by both of them, and yep, Tsukimaru is trying to protect his mother.

**Mechine: **Thank you! I definitely agree with your points about Tsukimaru. He was a child and saw through a child's eyes and this will be explained later. AND OMG you can sound like a typical foreigner all you want. I can toot my horn a bit because I've had people say they came onto Sesshomaru's Heart to flame me and fell in love with it instead, because of how I wrote the change from child to adult Rin. Americans are having a very difficult time accepting that Rin grows up.

**Guest#1: **I know right? He's such an ass

**New Readerx2: **Tsukimaru is totally biased. But that is the fun of telling a story like this, each character gets a chance to voice what they feel and the reader to evaluate it. Yeah it's like, of all the times for Natsuki to go into heat. The truth is though, she would have eventually and this time he wanted to be true to Rin. You'll find out about Nina and yes, Taiyomaru has never hated Natsuki's kids as much as the other two hanyo children. And I agree, I think Tsukimaru has some pent up anger. Massive pent up anger and that he is unfairly taking it out Nina.

**Dragonrose78x2: **Yep their bond is still there. For the record, when I wrote it, I sobbed. And then people went and asked for Nocturne and I bawled. You know I wouldn't put so many challenges in front of someone without putting something else in there too. I totally laughed from your last review. I should totally write that scene between Sess and Natsuki...

**Ivriel: **Me gusta Taka mucho porque ella es innocente y puro y ella no intiende el mundo. Es porque ella quere ayudar Nina y no abondona ella en una orfanato. No me gusta Tsukimaru. Pienso que el no comprende que pasado con su padres y el estaba un nino cuando Taka fue concebida. Taiyomaru es muy poderoso y yo queiro formado el como yo lo hice con Yuki y Harutoga. Pero no dificil como Yuki.


	41. Sesshomaru-Past VIKagome-Past VI

**Well...this has been an interesting morning. Once again I thank all my lovely readers for your amazing and supportive reviews and just reading in the first place!**

**Welcome to all my new readers in May:**

**Esso1979 love you girl!**

**Belsdem so glad to get to meet you**

**Noet21 welcome!**

**enchantedpluto welcome! **

**Guys I need help...you get the idea of this story and I suck with summaries. I changed it last week and still don't like it. If you have ideas for a short summary 350 characters or less, drop a review with your idea. If I like it, I will pick it to represent this story. **

**I decided to combine two POV's because these are soooo damn short. **

**Sesshomaru-past**

He hasn't seen Tsukimaru in many long months. Somehow, Rin convinced him the night before that it was worth the risk and so he left his home, making the long trip to see his son. His presence was announced with all the fanfare of a prince coming home after a long absence. He ate lunch with his mother and when the little girl with black hair, plaited so neatly, and tiny pointed ears came with Tsukimaru, his heart beat as if he was seeing the boy for the first time again. A father without his children is not a father.

They adjourn to the rooftop garden, where Sesshomaru follows Tsukimaru as he explores the grass and flowers. The baby smells purple lavenders and then sneezes and laughs, chasing the pollen. In a way, Tsukimaru reminds him of Yuki at this age when he starts hacking away at the flowers, annoyed that they made him sneeze.

"He's cute," the little girl with black braids comes out from behind a tree. "I'm Reiko."

Sesshomaru nods, acknowledging the child, then returns to his son.

"We're friends. We play together." She bounds over stones in the pond, skipping until she is next to him. "I help Natsuki watch him."

Sesshomaru chuckles, wondering how his other lover fairs on her own and if she has better company than this tiny child. "Where are your parents?"

"Gone," the little girl says, but with little emotion.

But he has no time to ask more before he feels Rin tugging, no, yanking at his senses, screaming in his mind for him to come to her. But no sooner does the yearning come than her location moves more quickly than he can fly. _Katsumoto. What's happening?_

He scoops Tsukimaru off the ground just as his mother comes running. "Something's wrong," she says next to him. "Hisato is calling me, asking for the meido stone. He's moving in the direction of the village where your hanyou brother lives."

"He's been ill." He walks quickly with her. "Who is she?" The little girl with big black eyes and hair to match, stands outside the garden with hands outstretched for Tsukimaru.

"She'll take Tsukimaru back to Natsuki," Gobodo-sama says fondly. "We must leave quickly."

He passes his baby to the child and then runs for the edge of the garden, leaping over the railing, freefalling. He focuses on Rin's direction, knowing he can't compete with Katsumoto's speed. His heart quickens. Years previously, he and Inuyasha had been enemies, but they had learned to bury their differences. On more than one occasion Inuyasha had saved his life and Rin's. He blasts through the air draining his yoki, knowing that he will need to rest after this. Rin has stopped. The moment she does, the calling becomes a fury in his mind. She is bleeding for him to come.

**Kagome-past**

His chest stopped rising. Seconds before that, he vomited his entire supply of blood. At least she is sure it's his entire supply. The floor is covered in blood. It drips through the floorboards. He gripped her fingers just before his face turned pasty and then went slack. The scream reverberates throughout the village. She is alone, wishing someone is there with her. She beats at his chest, pumping it up and down. She breathes for him, despite the tang of blood in his mouth. "Come back, please!" she screams, not ready to let him go.

It hurts worse than any pain she has ever experienced. He was her first love, her first kiss the only man she has ever made love to. He is the father of her children and the person she needs the most. He taught her bravery and strength of character and no matter how hard she beats at his chest, and how she breathes for him, Inuyasha won't come back to her.

"Kagome-sama?" Sango peeks around the side of the hut, "oh no…" she runs into the hut holding Kagome around the back, trying to get the Miko off her husband.

Miroku follows next, shaking Inuyasha's limp body. "Wake up!" he yells at him, but Inuyasha's eyes are absent. He's gone.

Rin comes in next, followed by Taisho who immediately falls to his knees. "To-san?" The boy asks. He's twenty now, no longer a child but so childlike as he falls to his knees screaming, "no…no!"

Kagome turns to her son, holding him in his arms. She chokes on her tears. The world is becoming blurry and fading quickly. Her chest beats her pulse in her ears, she can't breathe, can't see, can't live. He's gone.

Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru stand to the side, tears in their eyes. "No," Yuki says covering her mouth.

"I can't," Kagome struggles for breath. She's on her side, "come back…please?"

Hisato enters next. He kneels next to the Miko. "She's bringing the Meido stone."

She can't breathe…the world goes dark.

**Please review! Guys I drew a sessrin kiss. It's on tumblr and soooo awesome! (Okay not that awesome because I am still learning)**

**Guys Smmahamazing updated Cowboy blues! Inukag go read it! It's cute.**

**Next: Sesshomaru-present, either this week or next week, depending on time. Fire and Ice should be updated this week too!**

**Kimmigirl9: **I hope you had your blanket!

**SmmahamazingX2: **Taka is the best. Here we are...it happened, finally!

**Luin-fanel: **Yep, in my lore he ages very slowly. At 150 years old, he was probably around the size and mentality of a 7 year old.

**Harukasempaix2: **Tsukimaru definitely has some anger issues and it is crap what he did to Taka. Nothing justifies what he did to Nina. It doesn't make sense. I think too that he hated/hates Rin because of the separation between his mother and father. All this because Natsuki wouldn't wait. I just Sess lives long enough to kick his ass.

**Guest#1: **The age diff makes no sense to me. Not to mention it's like everyone forgets that she is going to grow up and become her own woman. But whatever.

**Itzatakahashi: **How about now? EEEK I finally did it...thank you! I've been trying to make the past mimic the future, minus the occasional smut...but it's what I have been trying to do.

**Mechine: **Thank you! This thing between Tsukimaru and Sess is definitely a case of unresolved issues that will I hope come to the forefront. If Sesshomaru can survive.

**New Reader: **I hope you had your tissues! I think the bitterness between Tsukimaru and Yuki is different too. She is open about it, no subterfuge, no sabotage. Tsuki on the other hand, is very underhanded.

**Ivriel: **De nada! Que piensas ahorra. Cuando escribe este capitulo llore mucho, no solo por Kagome, pero por toda la familia. Los sobrinos encante su Tio, y los hijos de Kagome y Inuyasha no puedan lo salvar. Ayyyyyy es muy triste!


	42. Sesshomaru-Present V

**Whew...that last chapter total tear jerker. Guys I have been drawing like crazy. I drew a pregnant Rin with Sesshomaru then spent a half hour figuring out what was wrong with it. He was missing mokomoko-sama! **

**Anyway, I was going to say something meaningful but I am getting jumped on by whiny kids who I wore out by taking to play at a school parking lot. I've also been drawing mermaids...I am so all done with being stuck at home all the time! **

**How is everyone else fairing?**

**I took Mechine's advice and changed this to SessxRinxOC in the labels. Actually it makes me a bit frustrated that FFN only allows us to list 4 characters...because then it's like who do I say is in the story. It's why I like AO3 better in some ways, but it's easier to read on FFN ahh. Okay well, rather than blither more, let's do this!**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

It's after midnight when he wakes again to the sounds of a whimpering child. For once he can feel the stale cold of the hospital room. For half the night, his children milled in and out of the clinic. They had to close it for the rest of the day until both he and the girl were dealt with. Taiyomaru eventually came, lending him another hefty donation of blood, but he can't give more for another two weeks or his own supplies will become too low. Natsuki left hours before and all he heard was her screaming at Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru. _Fighting again. _

At some point, Nina was brought into his room. The last dregs of the medicine that will heal her, drip into her veins, making her shiver and shake with fever.

After his eyes have adjusted, he stares at the bag that is connected to his arm. He lets his nose do the work for him. The typical herbs are in there, but it now contains blood from both his sons. He wonders how long he will be hooked to this mixture before he succumbs. Katsumoto has been bedridden for a year. Jaken has been sick for longer. Shippo is on his death-bed. Now it's his turn and he is resigned to his fate. Death holds release, but why did she have to come now?

He rubs the crusts from his eye lashes to see better. "You," he looks at the white dog in the girl's lap. "You are in so much trouble."

The dog suddenly changes, and she is his daughter, Taka. She falls on his chest in tears. "Please forgive me, Chichiue. I'm so sorry. Please?" She sobs, no longer the innocent girl who abandoned her parents in the castle. Questions flood his mind. He is torn between anger at her for taking the one that carries Rin's soul and relief that his youngest child is in his arms one last time before he dies.

"Taka," he breathes deeply of the hair on her forehead. He kisses her head and lifts her chin. She smells like the rain of the mountains, crisp and clean and so warm against his cool skin. Her golden eyes are so full of guilt and new lines he hasn't seen before.

"I'm so sorry, Chichiue."

"Do you know who she is?" Taka's eyes dart to the girl in the bed.

"I do." She sits back wiping her nose. "Did you tell Haha-ue about me?" The girl reeks of worry, fear and something else.

"No." He runs his claws through her hair. "Where have you been?" He missed her throughout the years she was gone. Once, centuries before he lost a daughter to premature birth and even that pain barely touched the pain of losing a daughter and not knowing where she was.

"In America," she says. "You need cleaning." She goes to a nearby sink and fills a large bucket with warm water. Her cheeks are tense.

"Has the time finally come where are you giving me baths?" He laughs at the irony. Once he used to help wash her, when she was just a little girl. Taka was his joy, his relief after losing Rin, after losing his mother. She was a happy child who doted on his footsteps and lived wrapped in his mokomoko.

"Haha-ue didn't wash you. We both know the boys never would and Yuki isn't here." She sets the bucket on a chair and gathers his hair, dipping it into the water, removing the blood. "Your whole office knows now."

"I know." He flexes his claws. "I hate killing the smart ones."

"What if they can help you?"

"They can't." He's sure of that. He has been over his notes a hundred times, through epidemiology, everything. He exhales, relaxing as she massages the top of his head. "She used to do this when I would return home," he says of Rin. Natsuki never seemed to be able to anticipate his needs the way Rin did. It was their ritual, even more so after the Healer had turned against them. Rin would take him by the hand, he was helpless to resist. He kissed his children in welcome, plying them with sweets and toys and Rin, she would take him to the hot springs. Their clothing was shed in euphoria, at times they didn't make it to the hot springs until he had taken her. Once he couldn't wait and took her over the table in their private dining area. _My heart, _he stares at Nina as she writhes and cries. "Taka, you were conceived after her death. How did you know it was her?"

"I…" she stops short, bottom lip trembling and eyes widening in fear.

"She's of Japanese descent," he pushes her to answer, knowing that it is not by coincidence the two are together. "What did you do Taka?"

"Tsukimaru made me," she says rinsing his hair. She flushes red in embarrassment. Taka is so unlike her mother and Yuki who are harsher, colder and have enough attitude to smother an entire herd of elephants.

"What happened?" He attempts to push her hands away from his chest.

"Don't be a baby Chichiue." She slaps his hands down, easily over powering him. "Your weak right now. I could easily take you out myself." She unties the top of his night gown, bearing his chest. "What is this?" Slender fingers run over the root-like scar on his chest. It's been centuries since he saw it last, one more proof the girl in the bed is Rin's reincarnation.

"My connection to her." He stares at the girl in the throes of a wicked fever. She whimpers and cries in her sleep.

"A scar?"

"It's where my bond to her was. My body and soul know it's her." Yet the cruelty doesn't escape him. He will die, while she has barely begun to live.

"You've lost more weight. You aren't eating enough. Did no one take care of you?"

He only laughs. "Was someone supposed to?" Even he can see how gaunt he has become. His ribs poke out of his sides and his stomach is a shadow of what it once was. Rin once prided herself on the shape of her stomach, although his was always more defined. She loved the feeling of his muscles running up and down her skin, now there was nothing but skin and bone.

"What happened between you and Haha-ue, when I was conceived?" Taka's voice is song like, soft like a bird, but laced in hurt.

His stomach pitches. Many things happened the day he went back to Natsuki, many things he was not proud of. "Who told you?"

"Tsuki…" she trails off, unable to finish, breaking his heart. As children, Harutoga and Taiyomaru were easy to speak to. Harutoga told Sesshomaru all his secrets, Taiyomaru spoke infrequently, but spent hours following him around. Yuki…she was the worst. Yuki bottled her emotions and then violently exploded. If judged by today's standards, they would say she had some kind of behavioral health disorder. More than once he had pulled Yuki off of Rin to berate her for hacking into her mother's flesh and it wasn't until China, until their relationship was so fragile it was nearly non-existent did Yuki finally begin to calm and take responsibility for her actions. But Taka, she was always his bird who never stopped jabbering, who clung to his knees and sobbed for him to take her to America too, who acted as if he had never left when he returned for good a century later. "He said you…you raped—"

"I didn't."

"Then what happened?"

He thinks back to that time, bringing the memory forward and begins to tell Taka what had occurred. He swore to Rin, to respect her wishes regarding his relationship with Natsuki. He had the power then to tell Rin to accept that Natsuki was also his, to force her to watch him bed her, but he didn't have the heart to treat Rin as he was a Lord in a castle. He swore to keep his distance from Natsuki but only if Rin made the same oath to allow him to care for Natsuki and Tsukimaru as they needed.

In retrospect, a piece of him regretted making that choice. Rin would always be the one he loved but Natsuki spent more than a century alone in the castle and there were years that he did not see Tsukimaru at all and that never sat well with him.

Natsuki had been in heat for months before Rin's passing. At first the call was a request, when it first began, but as the weeks passed, it became a plea. Months later, he had Natsuki locked in her room when Sato told him that she attempted to bed him. Knowing Sesshomaru's anger and jealously and that Natsuki was not his to copulate with, Sato denied her. Natsuki was fed through a rectangular cut in the wall like an animal and that is where now he knows it was not the right choice. He forced Natsuki to suffer like an animal until Rin's death and no matter the sin Natsuki committed against them, she did not deserve that.

He laid Rin's body under the Sakura tree, immediately after her passing. He stayed long enough to kiss his children and hold his grandchildren. Yuki and Katsumoto had been bonded for close to twenty years at that point. Then he left, into the skies, to Natsuki, to satiate her and himself.

It was not just she that had been suffering in the previous weeks but Sesshomaru as well. His loins were burning, his body on fire, simply because he had ignored his attachment to Natsuki for more than a century and worse, because she was capable of bearing children. When he landed, Tsukimaru was already waiting, angry and pouting. He was just over a century and a half but still very much a child. His body was that of a seven or eight year old.

As he did with his hanyou children, Sesshomaru came with treats and toys. He hugged and kissed his son, so very glad to see him and with an aching heart, turned to Natsuki. He had wanted to mourn Rin, to bask in the pain he felt, but Natsuki needed him and she too was also his lover, equal to Rin in rights but not in love. Rights that he had ignored for the sake of peace in his home.

When he found Natsuki, she had clawed herself from head to toes. Blood dripped from her scalp, pooling around her waist. She cried in the corner, rocking back and forth, cupping her own sex, seeking relief, but as fate would have it, only the burn of male semen quiets the hormonal rage of heat. The moment the door opened, she attacked in a frenzy of euphoria and arousal.

He let her claw his clothing from his body, ignoring the sting of his skin breaking, smashing his mouth into hers. She bit down so hard on his bottom lip it drew blood.

He felt the cyclone of reproductive power building within him, hardening his length, making his blood boil. She was more than ready, but for her part, she was too feral to calm him.

Twice he had mauled Rin in this state, when the power to create a child took over his being. It raced through him like a hailstorm, like the hail in a tornado, beating at his chest and mind and before he knew what was happening, they were on the floor wrestling for dominance. Natsuki would not yield and or not let him in.

They rolled around the floor, him begging her to let him give her what she needed and her screaming for him to stop, that she didn't want him, that she hated him and her hate was not strong enough to break the bond. The next time they rose up, he grabbed both her wrists and flipped her onto her stomach, claws slicing down the sides of her flesh, breaking her skin. His knee forced her legs apart and when he plunged, she screamed in pain. She was so swollen inside, he could barely fit in, making his part so much harder. He shoved again, this time breaking past the barriers, forcing her hips up and wider apart while she cried and shook beneath him. _Sesshomaru please, you're hurting me stop…stop! _

There was no point in stopping…he would not allow another to satiate her and she would not know lucidity again until he finished with her. He buried his nose in her neck, letting her scent wash over him, but even that wasn't enough. With her wrists bound above her head, his fingers dug into her slit, finding an overly swollen jewel to stimulate. She did cry, she did beg him to stop and when he finished, she shrieked again, sobbing that she hated him.

As his own lucidity returned and he witnessed what he had done to her, he felt disgusted with himself. Rin was able to call him back from the monster he became. Natsuki was meant to calm him with her yoki but was too feral to call on it.

He stayed engaged from behind, hovering on top of her, apologizing and then broke down against her back, not because he had hurt her, but because he had left Rin's graveside for this. To fuck like a wild animal, to debase his other lover.

Tsukimaru was too young to understand what had happened between his parents. Sesshomaru knew he carried anger from it, but not like this. Eventually, Natsuki forgave him and he made love to her tenderly and gently, parting her. But in his mind, it was Rin he was making love to, it was her core he tasted, her breath he inhaled, not Natsuki.

A master of lies, he leaves out the last part, that for many years after Rin's death, he tricked his mind into believing he was with Rin, until he knew it was time to let go and move on. And Natsuki… "You'll have to ask Haha-ue why she forgave me."

Taka is in tears and has taken several steps away from him. He doesn't need to ask her to know that she feels betrayed by his actions. "How could you?"

"There was no other way," he mutters. "The instinct for intimacy when one is in heat is blinding, maddening. You don't know it because you have not experienced it. Coupled with the instinct to kill the one that touches what is yours when you are bonded, there was nothing—"

"Bullshit! There was. You didn't have to wait for her to die! You could have had sex with Haha-ue when she first went into heat. It didn't have to be like that!"

"You're right."

"What?"

"I said you are right Taka."

"Then why didn't you? She was old. Rin didn't have to know."

"When did my trickery begin to wear off on you."

"When I didn't tell you about Nina or where I was. Even now, I want to tell Haha-ue I'm here, but I'm scared. I don't want to go back to the castle."

Sesshomaru takes a deep breath in and exhales. "I promised Rin. After the disease, after," _after I nearly destroyed our relationship again. _"I promised."

"Do you love her?" She motions to the fevered child sleeping in the bed.

"She's fifteen," he says quietly. "I don't even know her."

"She knows you." Taka dips the washcloth into the bucket, coming back to him, bringing him peace. Taka sponges off his chest.

"She can't see," he reminds her.

"You have to see this." She walks over to the backpack underneath the girl's stretcher. She pulls out Nina's computer and enters her password. She opens a file. "Look. She learned to type and write stories when she was twelve. She's been writing ever since."

He covers his mouth. As if he needed something else to shock his senses. It was the day that he had taken Rin's virginity by the Sakura tree, down to her trembling hands and how she had to ride him because of her bruised back and the newness of an orgasm she hadn't known about before.

"How does she know this?" There are stories and stories of their time together, how they met, when she found him. They start with an eight year old girl meeting a spirit in the woods, whose description is too close for comfort. As she ages, the scenes become more explicit, the sakura tree, the weeks in what would become their home. A deep pain associated with red flowers and an overwhelming since of love and acceptance from a being with silver hair.

"She's _her_ Chichiue." Taka ties the hospital gown and moves down to his legs. "You soiled yourself."

"Thank you for telling me that Taka, because I can't smell it or do anything about it."

"You're still a grouch Chichiue." She gets up and hugs his neck. "I forgive you."

He avoids telling her there is nothing to forgive, but the words still bring his heart solace. "I hoped to find the cure before this happened," he says, placidly. "What did you do? She was here in Japan wasn't she?"

"She was in Lover's Park." He should be angry with her but he can't bring himself to be. Tsukimaru is another story, but he won't live long enough to take it out on him. "Her parents left her there. They were poor farmers. Tsukimaru was afraid you would fall in love with her and it would hurt Haha-ue but I couldn't leave her. I've watched over her since I left. I made sure she only went to good families. I found ways to escape and make money to pay for the things she needed. I taught her to communicate so she would be easier to place in a foster home and then she got sick. She's terminal, Chichiue." Taka rubs down his legs and cleans the mess he made while he was seizing. It's mostly dried blood and urine, but it warms his heart that his little girl does it without asking. "I wanted to give her a chance. I guess fate wanted you two to meet no matter what. I knew you could heal her."

Fate is cruel. He has days, perhaps weeks, depending on how much damage has been done to his nervous system. This time, she will have to say goodbye to him. "Your mother doesn't know."

"I know," Taka says softly, lifting him up and removing his hospital gown. She pulls the blankets out from around his body, while he moves weakly to let her and then puts new blankets on, including ones from the warmer. "You're freezing."

"I never realized how cold it was in here before," he whispers, eyes always on Nina.

He exhales half furious and half grateful. Nina starts moaning louder. She jolts upright in a panic. He watches curiously as Taka transforms herself into the white dog Lucy again. She leaps onto the bed and nuzzles the girl's hand. The girl calms but then he sees it, the reason she is crying so much. It's not just the fever, white eyes are now brown. She stares down at the dog in her lap like it's the first time she is seeing it. Her hands shake as she touches Lucy. Then she looks at him, blinking and screams and twists around in the bed, refusing Lucy's comfort.

Sesshomaru sits up, painfully closing the back of the gown. Lucy glances up at him and yips. "I'll be fine." He uses the food tray to hold his weight, while he limps to the bed. The entire time Nina's eyes follow his movements. He sits down heavily on the side of her bed. He picks up an otoscope from the wall and turns on the light. Nina cries, trying to block him from flashing it in her eyes. "You can see me can't you?" He says in English then forgets that although that is the language she communicates in, her brain has never heard or seen spoken language. He lifts her hands to his neck and mouth and says it again.

She shakes her head, touching his markings, tracing his moon, his eyes, his cheek bones and his lips. Then fingers enter his mouth and thumbs poke at his fangs. He pushes them out of his mouth. Lucy jumps up and grabs her computer.

"Can you hear me?" Sesshomaru asks her with her hands still in place.

She shakes her head.

"It's okay," he lifts one of her eyelids and then the other._ What happened? The cure doesn't do this._

_Taiyomaru did it, _Lucy nibbles his fingers as she confesses.

Sesshomaru's eyes widen, knowing deep inside Nina their bond already waits for completion if Taiyomaru could reach inside and touch it.

Lucy flop the computer on Nina's lap. Nina closes her eyes as she opens it, as if she can only operate it blind. She opens her speaking program. "I know you," it speaks. She puts her hands back on his face, waiting expectant. "I know you."

**Please review! Ohhhhhhhhhh Nina recognized him? And the truth comes out about Natsuki and Sesshomaru...oooooo I love this chapter**

**Story Plugging Sesshomaru and Avalon again, because I write sess and it's Sessxoc. And Fire and Ice written by me :) It's an amazing AU about a paralyzed Sesshomaru. **

**Coming up Next: Mayumi- Present (Hopefully Friday, but I don't know...)**

**Sesshomaru-past**

**And then Sesshomaru-Nocturne...**

**Kimmigirl9: **I know...it was soo sad. No one should have to say goodbye to their lover like that.

**Smmahamazing: **Okay well now we know he's gone, now comes the rest of the story. What happens to Kagome now? Glad you like the new summary, because I wasn't in love with the last one.

**itzatakahashi: **Trust me, when I wrote it I cried soooo bad. Multiple times when I have been working on this story, I have ended in massive amounts of tears. Like knowing doesn't help. It reminds me of watching Rogue One. I knew everyone was going to die, but I still cried like a baby.

**Mechine: **I was hoping to elongate it a bit by combining them. My heart broke writing this. It's all a means to an end. I did decide to take your advice and change it to sessxoc tag too. I wish FFN would let me put more characters, because there may be a Kagxoc in the future too.

**Harukasempai14: **HAHA we shall see if your theory is correct. I agree that Tsukimaru's view is slightly skewed, but I think that's normal. I'm coauthoring a sessxoc, and if you really, really look at it, from the start the OC messes up but because people always want to side with the female most people don't see that Sess is just being him and it's the OC making mistakes. But everyone in my story is allowed a view and I think that is why I get such a volatile response. Because I let all characters have a voice, not just the ones we like.

**New Reader: **His death was horrible. I wish it would have been like a fall asleep and not like this, but the monks that made this disease were brutal. In a few more chapters, we get the POV of the monk :). Exactly, Yuki is so open about how she feels, there is no questioning where she stands. Tsukimaru is so underhanded and passive aggressive it's disturbing.

**Luin-Fanel: **It was soooo sad! We are still at home. More things are open, which is nice but all the play grounds, museums, etc are closed so we can't do much. We are just hanging out and trying to enjoy life the way it is. There is also talk here of when school starts the kids will have to wear masks. Carters is selling kid masks though so we are going to buy a few I hope. I just hope all this ends soon and they find a cure/vaccine so we can move on with our lives.


	43. Mayumi-Present IV

**Good evening lovely readers! I am so happy to post this. Literally, I think posting days are the highlight of my life. My in-laws are coming and staying for a while, so I'm not sure how often I will post in the next 2-3 weeks. If you remember their house burned down back in April and they are coming to stay with us for a bit so we can help them get their lives back under some semblance of control.**

**Life is so busy people! **

**Trafficked announcement:****I took it down, again...the reason being it needs soo much love that I don't have the attention to give to it right now. The goal is to finish this story and Fire and Ice and then I plan on writing professionally and hopefully finding publishers. :)**

**I've set the personal goal to finish this beast before the sequel comes out...posting is another story...**

**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers and a big welcome to angeljme :)...can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter!**

**Mayumi-present**

She sits in a room with a bunch of adults talking in words she doesn't understand. There's something about T-cells and Leukocytes and Lymphocytes and stem cells and numbers that make no sense to her or the doctors crowded around a pile of papers on the floor. Haruto Yamamoto and Yoshi lean over a list of results from blood tests they conducted not only on her Uncle but the ones that she and Harutoga unearthed earlier, every blood test that Sesshomaru had ever taken from the past and present. The nurses and the doctors are both baffled.

"The problem is we don't know what is normal," Yamamoto-sama says as Natsuki paces back and forth. "If we knew what was normal, we would understand what we are seeing. Or what these labels mean." Mayumi knows her uncle was fastidious and fearful of ever being discovered. He coded the results in a series of numbers, both from the past and the present. "Like these gene sequences look similar as if they are from the same person, but the changes to the structure of the blood cells is catastrophic if this is normal," he points to one, "and this one isn't. No wonder the organs are failing."

"Whatever," Mayumi mumbles under her breath. It's not that she doesn't care, it's that she doesn't understand. Was there a point to being dragged to another city, away from her grandmother, her school and the few friends she had in Tokyo to come to Osaka and watch Ojisama die? Her legs are crossed one over the other and she kicks one ankle back and forth in worry.

"Were you sick?" Yamamoto asks Natsuki again. Mayumi's gaze shifts to Natsuki.

"Yes, for a while, but it was never as bad. I had half the cure long before anyone else," she wipes sweat from her brow. "Mayumi stop fidgeting, you're making me nervous."

Mayumi starts kicking the leg more dramatically. _Fuck off…_

"Maybe she should leave," Haruto offers, but the thought makes Mayumi sick to her stomach. Ojisama is all she has left of her family and as angry as she is at him for making her come to Osaka, she doesn't want to leave him.

But then she wonders what good any of this will do. How can human doctors do anything for her Uncle when he has spent centuries studying medicine? Lifetimes longer than of the men in this room. "I'm not sure I want to ask how we have blood samples from five hundred years ago, but let's start with the obvious," Yoshi says flipping through the pages. "Something changed your Uncle's blood and the way it functions on a cellular level. The T-cells were in plenty before, they're degraded, the leukocytes, monocytes, all of them. The numbers have drastically changed. Is there anyone else like him that was never sick we can compare too?"

"Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru," Mayumi says quickly.

"Quiet," Natsuki chastises her.

"But they want to help!" she yells back at well…she's not sure what to call Natsuki. She isn't her aunt. Rin was or is, she's not sure how to term it. For the longest time it was normal to go back and forth between the two times and visit her aunt and uncle. Now she is trapped on this side of the Well with her uncle who is a shell of the demon he was before and Natsuki who was a fucking home wrecker whom she hates. Sesshomaru has no energy, no life and definitely not the anger and fire he had before. "Why not let them!?" she shoots back at Natsuki.

"Because it puts us at risk!" Natsuki fumes at them. "You don't understand. If the human world knows we exist, that some of us are more powerful than an army, they could target us _again_. If they knew there was a virus that cripples us, it would be the end…we have to be careful. I'm sorry, if you two can't help, you have to die. Everyone in this office," she says it so simply and honestly it quiets the room until the silence seeps into Mayumi's skin. She means it, she'll hack them to pieces and melt their remains with dokkasu.

"We're looking," Haruto says firmly. "I need more samples. Tsukimaru," he turns to the white haired younger version of Sesshomaru. "That's you right?"

He nods his head, quiet like his father. Mayumi laughs, she's seen when he was quieter.

"And you?" He turns to Mayumi. "What are you?"

"Only a quarter. My father was his brother. My father is a hanyou, half-demon," she says sniffing. She misses her father. Six months is too long, she wants her mother and father back. They had left through the well to take exams for school, kissed their parents goodbye, expecting to return the next day.

"So you were never ill?" Haruto asks. He removes his glasses and rubs his eyes. "The answer is in the bloodwork."

Mayumi shakes her head. How can she explain that she was born on the other side of the well and that now she is here because the thing that connected them stopped working and she can't get through? She glances at her cousins for help. They're older than her now and more wise, rather than children who were younger than her. Yuki is the only one who isn't there. She refuses to leave Katsumoto. Harutoga sits quietly in the corner with Taiyomaru. "And you two?" Yamamoto-sama continues.

"He got sick," Taiyomaru points at Harutoga. "I didn't."

"What's with the ears?" Yoshi points at Izayoi and Harutoga.

"I'm a quarter demon like my sister and Harutoga is Ojisama's son with his human…wife," Izayoi stumbles over the last word knowing how much Sesshomaru hates that term.

"Should have known someone like him would have two wives," Yoshi scoffs. "So who concocted this illness?"

"Come on, they can't figure it out," Mayumi takes her sister's hand. Izayoi goes into her office. Mayumi follows with a brave face on. "Is he going to make it?"

"He's lived longer than he should have," the older sister says. She twists a key in his god-awful oak desk and removes the tattered scroll.

"What is that?" Mayumi asks.

"The person that made the illness," Izayoi says. "Let's go find Ojisama, he never had a chance to read it. I bet if the answer is anywhere it's in here."

"Why?"

"They don't know why his cells are degrading. It's like when someone's poisoned, you can't treat it if you don't know what caused it. The monk that did this, Yashida, it has to be in here. Who wouldn't want to brag about being the one to kill all the demons and how?"

Mayumi jogs after Izayoi. "We should have gone to school there too. We could have learned to read this."

"If he won't read it, his children will. He's just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Living any longer without Obasan."

"Kami, he's like Romeo."

"No Juliette."

"He's a man."

"Technically he's not a man," Izayoi laughs once they get to the door, "and Juliette was the one that committed suicide first."

"Rin died first, why isn't she Juliette?"

"Because she didn't commit suicide."

"But he's not committing suicide."

"Mayumi, one day you're going to grow up and smell the romance and fresh scent of boys. He loved Obasan so deeply and felt so guilty for everything that happened back then that he's never forgiven himself. If he dies, he won't feel the guilt anymore."

"And if that is her reincarnation then what? Are youkai even reincarnated? She's my age, that's gross."

"He won't pressure her. He never did Obasan."

"You were three when they bonded, how do you know?"

"Because it was always her choice."

She grabs her sister's hand. "Wait I still don't understand how he's Juliette!"

**Please review!**

**Next Up: Sesshomaru- Past**

**Sesshomaru-Nocturne**

**Rin-past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Yuki-past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Rin-past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Mayumi-Present**

**Yashida**

**Sesshomaru-present**

**and that gets us through Part 1 of this story...which is 3-4 parts longs and half the story...LAWD guys I am sorry that this is longer chapter-wise, it's just the way I decided to divide it up...**

**Now to respond to my loverly reviewers!**

**Kimmigirl9: **Talk to me about your mixed emotions? The ending was touching. Do not worry, it's not a spoiler to say that they will talk.

**Smmahamazing: **I fell in love with the InuKids when I was writing Sesshomaru's Heart. Like I had to give them cute kids, that hopefully have their own personalities. Mayumi is a little badass. I want her more like her dad, but also so you feel the pain she does of separation. Oh yeah Tsukimaru if Sess survives might be in a big, big, trouble.

**Mechine: **She recognizes him. You know the funny thing? For as much crap as Sess got in Instinct, now you see that it also affected him. That it hit him deep down when Rin left him and took his children, so much more so that there were things he feared telling her. Can I just sit here and be jealous that your kids are at school? Mine aren't. Their school transitioned to online in March and they never went back. Their camp this year is only from 9:30a-2:30p and we don't have the funds or the second car to ferry them there and back. It's soooooo frustrating!

**Luin-Fanel: **Nina can only see now, not hear. It will be explained later but is not a spoiler that her loss of sight was from an injury and that she was born death, meaning there is nothing to fix. Rin I think was 166 or 167 at the time. Very elderly, and if you remember it had been 20 years since they had made love because she no longer could. So yes, Rin probably would have agreed, but ever since Instinct he has felt nothing but fear too...As far as I understand about COVID, it won't go "go away" or be "manageable" until we have a vaccine. The hospital where I live is about a year away from it which is cool but I'm guessing the next few years will just be interesting, waiting for a vaccine.

**Guest#1: **HAHAHA...so look, he was coerced at the beginning of the story. As far as he was concerned it was that time and that was it. His sin would only go so far but there are things you don't know...It was only during that week that he and Natsuki were together and technically only 3 days so it wasn't the whole month. He only provided physical affection, not sex until they were trapped together. He loved Rin too much to lie again. No one's life was at stake if Natsuki's heat was left unresolved, ergo no motivation to break his promise to Rin.

**Itzatakahashi: **OMG I know right with Rogue One? I honestly was not in love with episodes 7,8.9 for Star Wars so I googled the synopsis on Wiki. I knew they were dying...knew it and sobbed! Who said I'm going to kill more people...we just need to find a cure to the seizures now!

**New Reader: **Thank you for the very long and thoughtful review! Oh emotions stirred? Mission accomplished. Yes, Nina knows him. Honestly, if I had written it differently I might take Rin's side, but Natsuki also needed him and he had a responsibility to her and failed it. Natsuki not being in heat will be explained at the very end of this. Yeah it would have been crap for Sess to be like well you're old deal with it...but at any moment, he was the man, it was feudal japan he could have.

**AngeJME: CH10: **Yes, I love the Taka/Nina team. Taka was so silly and so innocent and so was Nina. It's like they are both learning about the world. **CH13: **OH gawd, I went back and read it to know what you were talking about and yes, friends, good friends means so much. **CH: 20 **Oh, it's only just starting. **CH33: **Yes the regret is real for Sesshomaru. **Ch34: **I think it's because Rin is not faultless and Natsuki is trying. In Instinct, you will hate her, even when she tries to redeem herself, but at the end of the day she feels just like everyone else does. And she has spent centuries paying for her sins. **CH36: **I know! I loved developing into what I felt his father wanted him to be. Remember that line in that one episode where he gives Inuyasha the Meido. "What should I do? Go around the country side healing people?" Yep...**Ch37: **HAHAHA who knows about the sequel. I think the beginning is going to set the angst and dark for us to have a good story.

**Ivriel: **Si, en el pasado sucedio algo. Pero no voy a decir que es :). La vincula es fuerte en espiritu pero fragil en cuerpo. Pienso que Taka siente mal por su madre y Rin, pero por su madre, no porque la vincula entre Rin y Sesshomaru no es importa a ella, pero su madre sufrio mucho. Muchas gracias por su critica. En el Fin de la histora, dice que pasa en China :)


	44. Sesshomaru-PastSesshomaru-Nocturne

**Hello My Lovely readers!**

**First off Gina, I'm just gonna say it, your review cracked me up. I did the math, because I am a logic buff and roughly 2/3rds of fanfics on this site go unfinished. I am committed to finishing this bad boy. Even if it's a bit long...Which is funny, because if I cut out the lemons it wouldn't be so long...**

**I'm combining Sesshomaru-past with Sesshomaru-Nocturne on this one. Both are short and they really compliment each other. So we'll do both.**

**And the timeline. I know all this back and forth gets confusing. So over the course of the disease in the past is 10 years. Since the well closed in the future, only six months have passed. **

**Sesshomaru-Nocturne is probably anywhere from months to a few years before the Well closes. **

**Last time on the past timeline: Inuyasha passed away, losing his battle to the disease.**

**Sesshomaru-past**

It was seeing his brother emaciated and covered in his own blood he didn't expect. It was the blank eyes that seemed to stare at nothing that made his stomach drop. If anything, or anyone was going to kill Inuyasha it was Sesshomaru. Inuyasha's human lover lay next to the dead hanyou, a wreck, _weak, _came to mind and _pathetic. _But the words were simply there to cover for what he was feeling inside.

Sesshomaru had a warm spot in his heart for Kagome but there was something about seeing her sob over Inuyasha's body, that sent shivers down his spine. Inuyasha was meant to outlive the human, not the other way around.

"Move." His mother elbows him out of the way. She lays her meido stone, onyx and pearled around Inuyasha's neck and then waits. "You've already used Tenseiga once haven't you?"

"Yes," he croaks, a vain attempt to hide his emotions. His hands slink up the sleeves of his black haori to hide the shaking of his fingers. If he was not who he was, he would be on the floor crying with her.

Rin squeezes his hand, hiding her face against his torso and sobbing into his chest. Their children hug each other, seeking comfort from one another. Yuki sobs the loudest, begging her uncle to come back, while Harutoga is quiet and Taiyomaru whispers, "I can't touch his light."

Sesshomaru will not cry, he does not cry. He waits and waits and waits, willing the stone to bring Inuyasha's soul back from beyond, to return his brother to him the same way it did Rin so many years before.

"Why isn't it working?" His mother leans down and touches the stone. "I haven't used this before on him. Why isn't it working?" Even she sounds pained.

His stomach cramps more tightly, until it's wound and painful. Something ominous has been happening the last two years. The attacks, this illness, something is making his skin crawl. A nameless darkness is on the horizon.

"What is that?" Kagome finally notices the stone wrapped around her lover's neck. She leans over Inuyasha's chest, face red, broken blood vessels around her eyes and snot dripping from her nose.

"It's to revive him," Gobodo-sama says, but her face is contorted. "What the hell is happening?" She touches the stone. "It's resisting me."

"Can you do it?" Kagome pleas. Begging doesn't fit the normally strong, upbeat Miko.

"It's not working," Gobodo-sama repeats herself frustrated. "Something is going on." She removes the stone and leaves the hut.

"Mother." He grabs her arm following her out of the hut. "Try again."

"It's not working Sesshomaru." She shakes him off. "Something…do you feel it?" She's been mentioning it for two years now. Something is coming.

He nods, not sure how to describe the darkness brewing, the angst he feels in his heart. She pecks Hisato on the cheek and squeezes his hand. "You be careful." Then she leaves in a cyclone of energy.

"What's happening? Why did she leave?" Rin begs him.

"He's gone," Sesshomaru coughs, covering for the choke of his words.

The hut erupts in more tears. The Miko, the Monk, their children, Taisho, the hut is flooded in a river of tears.

He pushes Rin off feeling like he can't breathe. He leaves and breathes in the spring air panting it in. He leans against a tree for strength. His brother was covered in blood, blisters and succumbed to a stupid human illness. He can't breathe, he can't think. He stops himself from quaking. He picks up Tenseiga and stares at it. _What is happening? _He flies into the forest, in search of answers. The Meido stone and Tenseiga work in much the same way.

He finds his quarry in the form of serpentine creatures that wrap around his body. He stabs one through the gut, killing it, then hovers over it with Tenseiga. He waits and waits. The bearers to the underworld don't come. He searches for random ogre that still haunt the area. Finding one, he takes its head and tries again. Tenseiga does not answer his call. He swallows hard at his lack of control. _What is happening? Why Tenseiga._

**Sesshomaru-Nocturne**

Time is a scientific construct. Or at least that is what the books on physics say. It can't be broken down and there are an infinite number of outcomes, some good, some bad. He's spent centuries wondering how the world would change if one life, or all lives were saved from the illness that decimated his species? There are no specific numbers, hundreds, thousands, millions, but what he knows is that in the end, they died and that the first victim, patient zero was his brother.

Inuyasha was no longer the hanyou he hated, but his most trusted ally, his confidant and his friend. Something had changed as Rin aged and Inuyasha became more like a brother to her, caring for her in his absence, wiping her tears more often than he did when she was a child. Inuyasha was her confidant, the one who made her a warrior and more importantly, the only one Sesshomaru could turn to for support.

After he took Rin as his lover, Inuyasha became the ally he always wished for. He protected Rin from Touma, helped him fight the Serrow youkai who stole her memories and after that, when trouble came on more than one front, Inuyasha was always there.

Somewhere along the way, the differences, the anger and strife caused by feeling like their father did not love them equally eroded until a genuine love and trust was birthed from the ashes of their hatred. Inuyasha was Sesshomaru's ally, friend, confidant, his blood.

It was Rin that had asked to keep her first pregnancy secret. It wasn't that she was ashamed, but by human standards, she had erred. Their relationship became physical before a human wedding. She never asked for one, therefore they never had one. But during Harutoga's pregnancy, when her hormones and mood swings made her irrational, Sesshomaru would stop by Inuyasha's village. They stayed up late into the night drinking shochi until they were cackling. Kagome as ridiculous as Rin was. She once asked Inuyasha to bring her boar, when he returned instead of being grateful she broke into tears because he had killed a female and not a male. Rin had once sobbed herself to sleep because Sesshomaru brought her white flowers from high on the mountaintops where the snake youkai used to live in his territory. They were lilies, one of her favorites, but instead of being happy, she thought he wanted her to die because white lilies are often planted near human graves. She refused to be comforted until the next morning. Inuyasha understood.

And then the time began to draw near. By his calculations it was somewhere between three to five years after Touma's was killed by Kagome, after Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru were born and he only knew of that time because Kagome and Inuyasha with all four of their children came through the Well to hide from Sesshomaru's wrath. They sinned against him by stealing Rin away, an action that brought back the fire of the woman he loved and should not be changed, but this, what he was about to do, about to let happen, he couldn't. Not without asking his brother first, asking for what he should have then, for absolution.

He spends the night on a red eye from Osaka to Tokyo. It's getting harder to fly on his own and almost invariably ends in a rabid seizure that cripples him for days, leaving him buried in unfinished work. The city lights are blinding at night, but as the runway approaches and he feels the lurch of the landing, he gets off the plane and winds his way slowly through the hundreds of people milling in the airport.

As he exits, he finds the nearest dark corner to hide in and disappears, flying from the airport to their house. He isn't alone. Someone else has been there watching them for him, memorizing their coming and going so that he could pinpoint the exact moment to approach Inuyasha, to offer to save his life.

He lands just outside the shrine to find Shippo hiding in the branches of Goshinboku. He's no longer a boy, but a man with short spiky red hair, long pointy ears and claws on the tips of his fingers. His fur is longer now, covering his stomach and back, running down his shoulders, so unlike the child that followed them around before. Sesshomaru flies into the branches and sits down in the boughs of Goshinboku, passing an uneasy smile to the kitsune. "Let me see him again?" Shippo begs. "For more than just playing tricks."

"No," Sesshomaru's answer comes out short and harsh.

"But I didn't get to say goodbye before!" he protests.

A part of Sesshomaru wants to rebel from the rigidity of the life he has led. Always dancing between the truth and a lie, to save something he is unsure of. "No," he repeats himself more quietly.

"Then explain how what you are doing is any different than me saying goodbye?" Tears puddle at the side of Shippo's green eyes, making Sesshomaru question the sanity of his choice and filling his heart with lead.

"Because he will not choose to alter the path of time."

"Why are you so obsessed with not changing anything? We can save them, all of them! Why can't we bring Tatsuo-"

"Stop." He can't hear that name, not without it sending shivers up his spine and clenching his heart. He has asked himself the same things many times. If he had a connection to the past, is he obligated to change it? Should he change it? But the cycle always comes back to there is never an action without a reaction. He knows the name of the monk was Yashida and that he was trained under Ungai, who detested his kind and that rumors and historical documents stated that their fate was sealed in part because of the confrontation Sesshomaru had when Rin was a child. "Have you ever considered that it was meant to be? The well closed for ten years. If salvation were to come, it would have come from the future. Tenseiga and the Meido stone stopped working to bring the dead back into the land of the living. If we change it, what happens? Do we cease to exist altogether? Will we change the passage of time and send the world into darkness?"

"You are so literal," Shippo harrumphs but the he sighs. "I'm staying in the tree."

Sesshomaru rolls his eyes. "When is he coming?"

"Soon. She said that he had to run back to grab something. Kagome ran to go grab some medicine from the pharmacy, taking all the kids with her, so no one should go inside."

Sesshomaru nods and slides out of the tree, landing on designer label leather shoes that make his feet ache at times. It's still the middle of the night, a night so dark and devoid of stars and black like his soul feels in this moment. The door is unlocked. He walks into a brightly lit apartment, what used to be the old hut that housed the well and then he lands inside the darkened shaft, waiting and wondering.

Light surrounds him, bathes him, and makes his skin crackle just before his brother, the once pathetic hanyou, the warrior who made him who he is today forms in front of him. He's holding a kimono in one arm and a package in the other. Inevitably as he asks, "Sesshomaru?" The elder brother waits for recognition to kick in. He looks like him, smells similar to him and is all the same, not him at the same time. "What? Where did you?" the words stumble out of his mouth, but then his head cocks to the side and lips break apart in a look that screams dumbfounded. "You…you're not? But…"

"Do you plan on completing a sentence Ototo?" It's meant to come out with malice but is little more than a gesture as he closes the gap between them and throws his arms around Inuyasha. "It's been so long," his voice breaks lightly and he blinks back tears that he has refused to shed for centuries.

The hanyou's body stiffens, tightens against the hold. "Okay buddy, okay," Inuyasha pats his brother's back, awkwardly. "Okay…um. What?"

Sesshomaru takes a step back and says quickly, "I can't stay long. Your wife will return and this conversation, she cannot hear."

"Why am I going to die?" he retorts, in typical Inuyasha fashion and Sesshomaru feels like someone has just shoved Tetsusaiga through his heart, twisting it for good measure. "Kami," he says, breathlessly. "When?"

Long ago, he gave up fighting emotions, fighting feelings. If he had not given into them, he would never have known real love and connection with Rin. Tears are no longer a sign of weakness, love is no longer for fools, only an older brother who missed the death of the younger one that he held so high in esteem. "Soon," he whispers and again it clogs his heart.

"Soon?" Inuyasha repeats, setting down his burdens and leaning against the wall. "In battle? Like I fight some giant ogre? A youkai?"

Sesshomaru shakes his head and tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "Sickness."

"Sickness?"

"Would you stop answering in questions!" Sesshomaru snaps, if for nothing more than to relieve the tension he feels. He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. "This is harder than I thought it would be."

"Why…I mean, what," he exhales sharply, "I can't answer without asking."

"Just listen," Sesshomaru begs him and he begins the tale of how a monk they had both had a run in with began to hate their kind, how the well closed and that Tenseiga and the Meido stopped working and deep inside he has known all along that he cannot change what has happened. "I give you the choice. I can infect you now and administer the cure so that when it comes you will be immune or—"

"I die," Inuyasha fills in for him.

"You die," he mutters sadly, because it already happened.

"What happens to Kagome? My children?" the words come out pained and tired.

"Sota and Taisho live. They never become sick. Izayoi and Mayumi, I'm not sure. They were gone the length of the disease, stuck on this side. I assume raised by Kagome's mother."

Inuyasha nods and the audible sound of his swallowing the information eats at Sesshomaru's soul. "Kagome?"

"She lived in my home until the disease stopped and then she left."

"Did she find another?"

"No," Sesshomaru answers somberly. "There was one that she found companionship with but not love. Their relationship was short lived."

"And you? What do you get out of this?"

Sesshomaru's eyes snap up, because there was something he wanted out of it. "Absolution for the years of torment and thanks, for who I am now. Losing you, gave me the strength and the passion I needed to become who I am now."

"And who are you now?" Inuyasha asks with a sincerity and curiosity that drives the knife in deeper.

"A doctor, healer of sorts. I treat cancer and leukemia in humans. Both deadly."

"You are the biggest hypocrite, you know that? First you have hanyou babies with a human and then you heal the ones you hate."

"Is it really that bad brother?"

"It's just not what I expected."

"Neither what I expected," Sesshomaru chuckles in return.

"What's the cure?"

"I can't tell you."

"You won't try to save the others?"

"Can't. There is no action without consequences and I don't know what consequence there would be to stopping it and the cure, the cure exists now but not the disease."

"Then kill the monk—"

"NO!" Sesshomaru shouts. "No."

"Why?"

"Because you do not know what will change if we do. All of it, the well closing, Tenseiga and the Meido, it was our time to pass."

Inuyasha growls and flops against the wall. "How long do I have to decide?"

"Until your lover returns and whatever the choice is, she cannot know. I will not risk the entirety of history, of anything, to change what has already happened."

"And if I choose to live?"

"Then I accept the consequences," Sesshomaru replies quickly, but already knowing what the answer would be.

"She'll be okay?" Inuyasha presses, "Kagome?"

"It will hurt but she lived happily."

"Lived?"

"She passed long ago, a happy old woman. Your sons went on to have families of their own. I can only assume the girls decided to remain on this side of the well. Your family continued on."

"But you didn't," Inuyasha supplants his thoughts.

"How could I?"

"Rin's dead too isn't she?"

"Long ago."

"I don't like this," Inuyasha speaks tepidly.

"Neither do I." He covers his eyes, rubbing them and then his cheeks. "Make your choice."

Silence fills the air around them, a pregnant pause so full it nearly bursts. "You know if we fucked up the timeline, maybe Kagome wouldn't be born, Naraku could win or maybe some other bad comes. She'll be okay?"

"She will be okay," Sesshomaru assures him again. "She lived with me for ten years after your death and after that, she found a place for herself in the mountains. She will be okay."

"She's going to hate me," Inuyasha admits sourly.

"She will never know," Sesshomaru whispers. "I'm so sorry ototo." And then his heart breaks, the last crack of someone who has carried pain for too long. "Forgive me." He covers his eyes, the tears he should have shed when Inuyasha died, the ones he kept hidden, the ones that ached more than others. "Forgive me. I couldn't save you."

"Hey." And is if centuries haven't separated them, their arms wrap around each other, the embrace that should have happened centuries ago, the first and the last.

**Please review! Ya'll know it makes my day and I love interacting with my readers!**

**So I haven't been reading a lot of fanfic lately. I'm really excited because the Cruelest Winter has been updated it's by AM78. Mirsan mostly and so adventurous. If you are wondering what I have been reading, a whole lot of Nicholas Sparks. I just finished the Lucky One and it was really good. Girl falls in love with marine. Marine saves her from an obsessive, abusive ex-husband. It's awesome.**

**Kimmigirl9: **I know, I'm rooting for the human doctors. Sometimes, if you've been working the same puzzle for years, all you do is make yourself crazy.

**Itzatakahashi: **So he got the scroll in the first chapter. He meant to read it but then he got called away for Mayumi at school. After that he got busy with patients and then collapsed. So he hasn't read it...yet. Thank you for the consistent and lovely reviews!

**Angeljme: **Yes he was one of the monks traveling with Ungai. You will get to read what is inside of that scroll :)

**Luin-Fanel: **I thought it was funny too. Like SessRin were in love, but not an accepted pair, so what do you do? Apparently compare your dog demon uncle to Juliette and your human aunt to Romeo. Natsuki lives in the sky. She can evade anything she wants. She also has enough power to take out an entire army. She'd survive just fine. Your answers are coming! I can't wait.

**Mechine: **Yay! I'm glad you enjoy them! I've really been working hard on this story. I've been writing a few chapters a week to get it finished. I'm very excited to get this one done. You know I think Izayoi thinks he's Juliette because he is the one that would rather die than be separated from Rin.

**New Reader: **Thank you! I'm glad they make you happy! Oh you'll find out about China...later...Yeah for the girls only 5 years passed and Natsuki effected them too. I don't know if they ever interacted with her in the past because Sess kept them separated, maybe drabbles will work that out at some point.

**Smmahamazing: **The doctors are so like, what did you just do to us? OMG...but they also grow in the process of the story. Yoshi is young and Haruto is older. They are totally still kids, just trying to figure out what the hell to do.

**Gina: **HAHAHA...yes I have noticed many do not finish. If you are curious why though, especially SessRin it is very hard to write a "good" sessrin and part of that is the readers. I learned the hard way that many are hung up on everything must be perfect and fluffy, always...but specifically so when it comes to Rin, but here's the thing about writing in general, forget pairing. Drama/Conflict are essential to the continuation of a story. If you don't have enough conflict and drama the story dies all on it's own. But writers get attacked for writing conflict too...so we have this loop. But in general I theorize that not enough conflict is being put into these fanfics and that is why writers are dropping them/getting bored etc...


	45. Rin-Past VII

**OOO Ya'll this story is writing itself! I've been averaging 2-4 chapters getting finished a week. I'm hoping that this one will be done in a month and then we'll just have an upload party.**

**And you guys made my day with reviews on the last chapters. I may be doing an internal happy dance because we are about to break 400. Never before did I think that I would get a story with sooo many! Which makes me so thankful for the people that have been keeping up with this story.**

**Sorry this one is short and can't be combined with the next chapter. But...I'll upload Thursday/Friday I hope again.**

**Rin-past**

She doesn't follow Sesshomaru. So much time together by now she knows his moods. He finds solace in solitude and quiet. She kneels down with Kagome, comforting the mourning Miko. She holds her dear friend the same as she did when they mourned the child Kagome miscarried. She strokes Kagome's hair and covers her own mouth.

That time was the first time Rin had held a partially formed infant in her hands. Samurais attacked the village. Sesshomaru had been gone for months, refusing to return. Angry at her for risking her life he had said, but really for growing up.

The miko tripped and fell, landing on her side. The stress from running brought the labor on too soon. They were barely able to get to the well before the baby emerged from between Kagome's legs and Rin, only thirteen at the time, used herbs to stop the bleeding and keep the Miko alive.

Kagome holds tight to her sons. Sayako and Sota have finally arrived to mourn Inuyasha. Tatsuo doesn't understand why Ji-san won't get up. He shakes him and begs him, but Tatsuo is just a child. He doesn't see what everyone else does.

The friends sit together until the fire burns low and Sesshomaru returns. He doesn't speak. He lifts his brother's body and carries him through the forest. A line of mourners follow behind him. First Kagome then Taisho and Sota with his lover and child, then Sango and Miroku, their children that still live in the village and Rin with her children.

"Ka-san?" Yuki sobs behind her, "it hurts."

She can't say it will be okay, because it's not. She can't speak, because what words comfort the loss of one so dear? She hugs her daughter, her sons and seeks her lover's eyes. He sets the body down in front of Goshinboku and removes his brother's katana. He sniffs, she knows he is fighting his own emotions. The spell is broken. He can touch Tetsusaiga. Kagome takes it from him and hands it to Tatsuo. "He wanted you to have this," the Miko breaks into tears again. "Inuyasha," she sobs into her palms. She kneels down and removes the robe of the fire-rat from her dead lover and then gives it to Taisho. "He said you should have this. He wanted…to…to…" She can't finish.

"To make sure you were protected," Sesshomaru finishes for her. He digs with his own hands, turning up the dirt.

Rin comes up from behind him and kisses his shoulder. "I'm sorry my love," she chokes out and then her hands join his. Each wave of dirt they remove from the earth is a discord of broken notes. The Monk joins in, their children, Sango, Kagome, Taisho and Sota, then the children. He is laid to rest beneath Goshinboku. She doesn't know how to comfort him. She tries to hug him, he pushes her off. She tries to take his hand and he refuses. She holds back the hurt in her own heart. Can he not see that she is aching too?

She turns to Kagome. "Come live with us?"

"What?" The Miko wipes her eyes. "I can't, the village…the Well...my daughters."

"Oka," Taisho takes her hand, "there's nothing left here. I'm…sorry," he stammers out to Miroku and Sango. "I'm there, your niece and nephews. Come live with us. There's space. We can make a home for you. Please?"

"I think it's better, or you can come live with me? But we don't really have huts, just caves. I don't think you'll be so comfortable with us," Sota says, holding his son who is cradling Tetsusaiga.

"I'll miss you Kagome-sama, but I agree. You have family in Sesshomaru's home and you can help maintain the barrier," Miroku tries to encourage her.

"Okay," she says the words, but no sound is made. "Onisama?"

Rin observes as he is brought out of the fog of leaning over his brother's grave. "You're welcome in my home. As always," then he walks into the trees.

Rin trails after him, "Sesshomaru?" She wants comfort, she wants to give solace, but he keeps his distance. "Sesshomaru please!" She grabs his hand forcing him to face her, "please?"

He shakes his head maintaining his distance.

The rebuff hurts her. "I don't understand…tell me, please?"

He takes her right hand and places it over his heart. She knows what's coming. He can't speak, so he allows her to feel his emotions. They break into her senses like a damn that can no longer hold back the river. It aches, it burns, it breaks her. She ends up on the forest floor covering her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she says as he lands on the floor with her. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling his face to the warm space between her ear and shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

**Please review! Wow that was a tough chapter. I forgot how intense it was and how painful.**

**Coming next:**

**Sesshomaru-present hopefully either Thursday or Friday**

**Book of the week, I'm working on the Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. It has Noah and Allie from the Notebook and is giving me soo many ideas...**

**Luin-Fanel: **I also do not cry easily and I swear half the time I write, is to force myself to freaking cry. I want to feel it in my bones and somehow it must reflect in my writing. Sesshomaru won't allow Shippo to say goodbye because he is too scared of changing too much and because he is an imperfect being.

**Smmahamazingx2: **AHH I may have a gift at making people cry. I like that it had you laughing too. I will probably write that scene more thoroughly in inukag drabbles possibly about a frazzled sess.

**Mechine: **Thank you! Oh I am blushing! I have no idea what I was thinking with this story. I agree that Inuyasha is also thinking about that if tried to get more time it might end things all together. We're on summer break and I am just praying school reopens in the Fall. I need school.

**Kimmigirl9: **Oh no! What about now?

**Ginax2: **HAHA I know you weren't talking about my stories. But I have figured out that people have a difficult time finishing what they start. I know there is an argument over whether or not finishing is important, but personally I think it is. But I also understand personal life can and does get in the way. Not all writers can be stay at home moms, holding onto sanity by the thread. Thank you, glad you enjoyed the chapter!

**New Readerx2: **Thank you! I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story! So true they can't change anything. It broke me too writing. I was sitting on my porch and then all of a sudden I was sobbing. My baby sitter was like what happened? I wrote something...Yeah tenseiga and the meido not working made my skin crawl too. Your answer is coming in the next few chapters.

**Ivriel:** HAHA was I making any sense? Spanish is my third language and I'm still getting the hang of writing in it. Inuyasha's death change Sesshomaru so much.

**Itzatakahashi: **You shall find out what happens with Kagome...over time. I can't promise it will happen in the next few chapters but after a while.


	46. Sesshomaru-Present VI

**Hello all my wonderful readers! And you are all sooo wonderful. I am so grateful for all the feedback I've been getting on this story! Guys, it's coming along. I've been finishing a few POV's a week. This week has been rough because my in-laws are here and here late each night, but I'm still making slow progress.**

**Sesshomaru-present**

Izayoi bursts through the door just as Nina recognizes him. The actions startles both Nina and Sesshomaru out of the spell they were under. He was lost looking into her eyes. So similar to Rin's. The same deep brown that would greet him when returned home, that would light up when she smiled, that held his soul for a century and a half.

He always wondered what would happen if he found the vessel carrying Rin's soul. He knew it would happen eventually, it had to.

But, it breaks his soul all over again seeing her like this. The scars around the eyes are from burns. He can tell by the white spiderwebs that that twist from her lids out to her brows. She was most likely born deaf, or rendered deaf shortly after birth. She can't speak and he wonders if this is her doom. Is she destined to suffer before he meets her? Is he her protector in this life as he was in the past?

But she is fifteen, a taboo and he may not survive the next few days. It would be unfair for them to be anything now but the doctor meant to treat her and the patient, an acquaintance, certainly not a friend. But he can't help himself. She has Rin's memories and the hole in his heart has only grown with time. A bleeding wound that none can bandage.

"What are you doing out of bed? Are you stupid?" Izayoi throws the scroll onto his bed and grabs his arm. She wraps it over her shoulder while Mayumi does the same on the other side. "You need to stay in your own bed," Izayoi scolds him like he's a child. He lets them take his weight, because his own legs are too wobbly to support him.

They deposit him like a pathetic sack of potatoes, back in his own bed and pull the cover over his legs. "Natsuki wants to kill everyone," Mayumi tells him, nonchalantly.

"We may have to," he exhales leaning back on the soft pillows, feeling instant relief from the pain he's in. He avoids making eye contact with Nina, but he watches her shift and lay down. Lucy, Taka rather curls into the girl's belly and nuzzles Nina's chin. _Thank you, Taka, _he emits to her.

Lucy nods her furry white head and kisses Nina's chin. _She's mine now, _he hears Taka's willowy voice in his mind. _I'll always take care of her._

He nods, exhausted, only wanting to sleep.

"Read it, please?" Izayoi begs, lifting the scroll up and putting it on his stomach.

_That's right, _he remembers forlornly, _Yashida…_

His hands have not stopped shaking since he woke up. Holding the dusty yellow scroll is only making the tremors worse. Not because of the sickness, but because for centuries, he has theorized how a human could make a disease that his kind was not immune too, that could spread through surface contact and bodily fluids. More than once he asked himself what his race had done to deserve the genocide of their species. Was it some great evil? There were good and bad in them like every race that walked the earth. Sesshomaru never actively attacked humans that didn't deserve death in his eyes. Night robbers, rapists and murderers were his often sought targets. His father protected entire human villages. What could they have possibly done that all were given a death sentence?

"Was he scared when he died?" Izayoi asks. She can't let go of her father. Neither can Sesshomaru. She has used working in his office as a ruse to hide her emotions and he knows it but their time together is running short. Soon he will leave her and join his brother in the beyond.

"No," that much Sesshomaru was sure of. "Weak."

"Oji-sama!" Izayoi tries to slap his shoulder but her hand is caught.

Even with unsteady hands, his reflexes are in check. "I do not mean it as an insult. He was weak. He passed before I got there," Sesshomaru stops, forcing the memory from his mind. He had visited only weeks before Inuyasha had passed. He left at night when Rin was sleeping, under the cover of darkness to avoid unnecessary skirmishes with the monks and mikos. They drank tea, they laughed until Inuyasha cried in pain. They were what they should have been from the moment the hanyou was born, brothers.

"Who was with him?" Mayumi cries anew, weeping again for the father who died centuries ago to Sesshomaru but only months before to them.

It's harder than anything he has ever done, answering her. It's worse than the time he told a mother with twin sons that they both were going to die from the same strand of Leukemia and they were too sick to receive treatment. Or the time he told a wife that her husband's body had rejected the procedure and he bled out all over the white floors of his office. The blood had seemed that much more red, splashed against the egg-white flooring. "Your mother," he says quietly. "Shh little one," he says in Mayumi's ear. "He wouldn't want you to spend your life mourning him," he wraps her in his embrace, giving her the comfort he should have given Rin in the forest that night, instead of rejecting her and pushing her away.

"Really?" she is incredulous. She is confused. She is a child who doesn't know any better. She wipes her nose on her sleeve. She knows her father and uncle spent more time hating each other before they found fondness, but at fifteen, Mayumi is not nearly as mature as Kagome or Rin were at this age.

"Use a tissue." He passes her a box. "We had our differences Mayumi. We found forgiveness. He was my most trusted ally, my friend, my brother."

"Open it Oji-sama," Izayoi puts her own hands on the scroll, encouraging him.

"It won't change what happened," he reminds her as his hands finally force the first portion of the scroll open.

"I'll know my father's killer," she says with so much conviction it makes him balk. "Oji-sama, what if we get sick?" Izayoi holds his hand like she did when she was a little girl. She paints her claws to hide them. Today they are covered in bright yellow fingernail polish with lavender stripes crisscrossing the panels.

"You two don't have enough yoki to get sick." He smiles relieved, remembering that her brothers never fell ill and it was a good thing they didn't. Without Taisho and Sota in the final battle, his village would have been wiped out. Taking a deep breath, he gazes at the first lines of the scroll. If his pride were not still intact, Sesshomaru would admit that anxiety courses through his veins, staring at the words.

Izayoi quiets. Her eyes do what her hands can't. They slash up and down the page of the scroll, devouring the words. She holds onto her uncle's hand.

To his surprise, although nothing should surprise him anymore, he does the same. The answer is here, it has to be. He grips her slender fingers in his and begins reading the scroll.

Izayoi had asked once after she learned the role that Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru's blood plays in controlling his seizures, why he never sent the cure back with her mother. If he knew it was coming, why didn't he stop it?

"I hate you," Mayumi pushes herself up abruptly. "You're such a coward."

"Mayumi," Izayoi tries to stop her.

"You had the cure here the whole time, you never used it!" she screams at him. He should have noticed her festering, seething beneath the surface. It was obvious in the way she behaved, the outbursts, getting kicked out of classes, stealing. All along he knew the risk when he took them, that if they discovered his inaction, the nieces that used to dote on him, walk in his footsteps and worship his presence would one day hate him.

He stops a hand from connecting with his face, but just barely. His strength is waning.

"Mayumi," he warns her.

"You're a coward. You had it here all along, why didn't you save him? Why didn't you save my To-san?" She cracks like a clay jar against a marble floor. "You could have saved him!"

"We tried," he remembers how he suddenly became painfully aware that Tenseiga was no longer working, on youkai that was.

"I hate you!" Mayumi screams at him crying. "Why didn't you save him! You bastard!" she shrieks, trying to get out of Izayoi's grasp. "You could have told Ka-san when the illness would start. You could have given him the cure!"

"I am not a god!" Sesshomaru roars back, wishing he could stand. "There was no way to save him without altering the fabric of time itself. Do you think if fate wanted us to exist that I wouldn't have reversed every death with Tenseiga? Our time is over!"

"Fucking coward!" Mayumi screams at him, trying to beat him with her fists. Hijin Kesou come flying at his face. He bats them off and the white blades that come after.

"Stop it!" Izayoi has had enough. She flicks her wrist and binds her sister in her whip. She can only manage it from one hand but it's strong enough to throw her sister to the floor.

Nina glances at them, staring like they are crazy. She scrubs her eyes out. "Get her out of here," he orders the older sister. Izayoi pulls Mayumi out of the room.

The girl across from him still has cherry red cheeks and face that looks miserable. The light is low, he's supposed to be sleeping. He gazes at the clock, it's four the morning. There is an orange glow in the room. Lucy still snuggles on the girl's waist. Nina tries to stand.

"Don't get up," he warns her.

Her legs buckle the moment she sets them down. She ends up on the floor leaning heavily on the white dog.

"You can't hear me, or understand me." He pinches the bridge of his nose. He lowers the arm to his own bed and tests his feet. They hold him as he shakily walks across the floor, dragging his IV pole with him. He kneels down weakly, wrapping his arms around Nina and lifts her back into her bed. He sets her fingers against his face and says, "Stay in your bed." He walks around to the back of the bed and releases the break. He pushes her bed next to his and engages the break again before he sits back down in his own.

It's close enough now she is able to scramble out of her bed into his. Her hands immediately trace the markings on his face. She picks up her computer, closing her eyes again to make it work. She types something in. "I dream about you. You're real? I'm not dreaming?"

She puts her hands on his lips and jawline. "I'm real."

She rubs her eyes again. "How?" the computer reads to her.

"You have the soul of my dead human lover," he answers her, running his fingers along her wrists. "And her memories."

She touches his face again. He feels his breath quicken. Only Natsuki has been this close to him in the previous years. "What does that mean?" Her hands go back and forth between the computer that speaks for her and his face to understand his speech.

"Nothing," he says quietly. Tone is not important. She can't hear him anyway. What can he give her anyway? Another life where she must share him with Natsuki or even worse, watch him die.

She pets the dog next to her and says. "I feel terrible."

He touches her forehead, feels her pulse then cups her chin. "It will end soon."

"I'll live?"

"Yes," he sighs, leaning against the bed.

"I didn't know doctors could get sick," the computer says flatly.

"You need a different voice for that program." Sesshomaru laughs, picking up the computer. "Something less mechanical." He flips through the voices until he finds a female voice with a British accent. He never liked the American ones. He hands it back to her as she positions her hands again. "Are your eyes okay?"

"It's bright," the new female voice answers. "You're really a demon?"

"We call it yokai." Sesshomaru licks his lips, inadvertently hitting one of her fingers. The taste is so close to Rin's it makes him catch his breath. He glances at the bag that is connected to him. He will never be able to be without an IV now. "I'm going to have to get a central line."

She pulls down the front of her hospital gown and points to her own catheter sticking out of her chest. He touches her skin, massaging the irritation with his thumb. "You've been sick for a while?"

She nods her head and shrugs her shoulders. "I'll live?"

He nods to her. "A good life."

"And you?" she wonders.

He shakes his head, wondering if she understands the gesture. She does, because he can hear her furiously typing on her computer.

"You can't die. I just found you. I've spent my whole life dreaming about you. I thought they were just fantasies…but…you're supposed to love me."

He starts laughing in earnest, forgetting how cheeky and romantic teenage girls are. "I'm no lover. If you truly have her memories, you know that I cannot give you what you want. I am already connected to one. I will not break my bond to her and even if I did, the moment she becomes fertile again, I will go to her, whether it would hurt you or not. I have a duty to what is left of my kind. You will heal and return to America and live your life. Find some American boy to love you and give you the life you deserve."

She shakes her head. "What's the point? When I'm stuck with the memories of how you loved her?"

"Do you have all of them I wonder? The entire century and a half that we were together?"

"It was that long?" She rubs her eyes again.

"Lucy," he pats the dog, "go find some gauze bandages. The long ones."

The dog hops off the bed and rummages through one drawers, picking up the gauze. She brings it back to him and then jumps into the spare bed again. Sesshomaru wraps a few layers over Nina's eyes. "They're going to be surprised when they come in the morning."

"Kiss me?" the computer chirps.

Lucy growls at her father, baring her teeth, a clear threat if he dares follow through with the request.

He shakes his head.

"I've never been kissed." Her face is redder.

"You are not old enough by Japanese Law or American Law."

"And you are how old?"

He kisses the tip of her thumb hoping it will assuage her. "Older than that. You don't have all her memories. Not yet," he mutters against her fingers. "Go to sleep."

"Memories of what?"

"You'll find out." He leans back, removing his face from her hands. "Keep your yoki and scent inward and Haha-ue won't know it's you, Taka. We'll speak before she is allowed to leave." He laces his hands behind his head and allows himself to drift into sleep. He's exhausted, soon he won't be able to stand and it's only a matter of time. He touches his stomach, he can already feel it roiling, it bubbles into his throat. He leans over the side of the bed and heaves. Blood splatters onto the white floor. He coughs trying to catch his breath. _Make it quick…_he prays…_just make it quick._

**Please review! Let me know what you think! And am I the only one that freaks out a little when regular reviewers stop reviewing? The paranoid person in me is like...did you get COVID? Are you okay? Let me know how everyone is doing :) **

**Story Recommendation: I am going to shamelessly plug Fire and Ice. It's awesome and written by me. It's AU, all human cast and my attempt at fluff.**

**Kimmigirl9: **How many blankets this time?

**Smmahamazing: **I know...I changed it from when she says Onisan in the manga, because Onisama is more respectful but RinSess is all she has left of her family, besides her children now.

**Itzatakahashi: **How about now? LOL...I'm such an angst monster! Thank you! I'm afraid to confess, I may make you cry again.

**Ivriel: **It is a good way to practice. I don't get a lot of practice either where I live. There isn't a large latin population. Sesshomaru totally regrets and hates himself for wasting time he could have had with Inuyasha.

**Luin-Fanel: **Inuyasha's death is heart breaking. I love that he can share his pain with her.

**Mechine: **He is sooo overwhelmed with grief. Sesshomaru has no idea what to do with it. No. Right now in drabbles she's pregnant with Sota. It's the one after. It's mentioned in Sesshomaru's Heart and again I think in Lost Memories and SessxRin drabbles. But I never wrote it. I want to though, just to pay homage to all the moms who have had miscarriages out there.

**New Reader: **My lips are sealed about her grandson. And yes, losing a child is sooo sad. It's mentioned in a few stories, it's the baby between Taisho and Izayoi.


	47. Yuki-Past III

**AHHHHHHH I have the best readers ever! Guys we just passed 400 reviews! 400! I am grateful and thankful and you all are amazing!**

**Okay...for some reason I do not understand FFN keeps taking forever to post reviews. It's honestly really annoying sorting through them all in my emails, so I'm going to respond to the general themes of the reviews now and then to all of them whenever FFN processes them.**

**To everyone who said why did Sess send Nina away? You didn't think I was going to make it easy did you? Okay that isn't all of it, if you think about it from his perspective, he's dying and he doesn't want to put Nina through that and also a 15 year old 21st century human is way different than a Feudal Japan 15 year old. **

**For all my lovelies who were worried about Taka when she growled at Sess when Nina said kiss me. LOL he may be her dad, but Nina is Taka's baby and the hell if she's gonna let her little girl be touched by her dad or any man. She was being protective and it has nothing to do with loyalties to her mom.**

**Morality: You brought up a good point and Sesshomaru agrees with you. Dude's not dumb. He already went through one lifetime with Rin and loved her down to the depths of his soul but that love wasn't easy. They did not have an easy life and he has no delusions that a life with Nina would be any different than it was with Rin and he's still bound to Natsuki...and that also has consequences. **

**What happened in China...keep reading.**

**Um...I'm trying to think what else was mentioned...Everything seems hopeless? Yes I know, sometimes in the darkest places we can find the solution and perchance the Human Doctors may be able to help find the solution.**

**THE SCROLL! In four more chapters you will get to read the scroll. OOOOOOO or less if I do any more combining...OKAY...here we go :)**

**Yuki-past**

Rei-chan is her best friend and now Shiori too. The three of them spend all their time together. They run through the orchards, leaping from branch to branch. Rei-chan can jump highest because her father is a rabbit demon and her legs bent funny like a bunny. Before Katsumoto can catch them making mischief in the village, Shiori raises a barrier and they snicker that he can't catch them.

Shiori has a crush on Katsumoto. Ka-san says that means that Shiori thinks Katsumoto is cute, but Yuki doesn't understand that. To her, he's just an annoying dog-breath that keeps her from having fun and whom she loves to frustrate in return.

One day she leads him on a wild goose chase around the village laying false scent trails for him to follow while she hides with her friends. Another day she finds the green powder that Ka-san keeps hidden in a cellar beneath the supply closet and throws it in his face. It only lasts an hour until Ka-san finds out and gives him the antidote. That time, Chichiue doesn't punish her because he's spent the entire morning in his study. Since Ojisan passed away, Chichiue is quiet, except for when he's yelling and he barely leaves the room.

At night she watches him through a crack in the door. He reads the books from the future, the ones about viruses, diseases and immune systems. When he's not looking, Yuki tries to read them too, but the symbols aren't the same as the ones she's used to, so she leaves the books alone. He's only caught her a few times. Instead of yelling, Chichiue pulls her into his lap and tickles her belly making her laugh. He says nothing, a silence so cutting it touches her chest and makes it hurt, but he tickles too and that makes her giggle. When she laughs, his face cracks into a small smile.

Adults are even worse than children at hiding how they feel. Maybe it's because they think she won't notice.

Like Obasan who moved in with them after Ojisan died. They were already building a new wing for guests. Instead this one has three rooms, one that has become Obasan's. But Obasan doesn't leave the room. All she does is cry for Ojisan. The only one that can make the tears stop is Taisho. He takes her for walks along the barrier, down to the river and into the Orchard. Once a month they go back to the Well, hoping it will open. Yuki thinks they should give up, but then when she does, her stomach clenches and she feels sick.

She and Mayumi were close friends. They liked to play tricks on kids in Mayumi's village. Especially Hideki and his wife. Hideki, Mayumi told her once, wanted to marry Rin, but Rin was never interested. If Ka-san wanted to marry someone it would have been Kohaku, not Hideki. So the two planted stink bombs in his hut and soured his rice paddy once.

Today, Yuki runs through the orchard, helping the villagers gather the produce to feed the village. The children who can reach the highest branches without a ladder are put to work. For Yuki it's simple to jump from branch to branch, clipping the stems with her claws. The girls giggle together because Shiori can't climb like they do but she can lift other children up on the top of a barrier and bounce them like Shippo when he's a pink chubby ball.

In the village a birthing happening. The mother is human. Yuki hears her screams from the top of a tree, just before she frees a set of peaches. The sound stops her movements. She knows the sounds a woman should make from helping her mother deliver babies.

Yuki hears another shriek. She knows it's Rei-chan's mother, Elaine from the sound of the pitch. Her hearing has become more acute in the last year. They are having their third child. Something sounds wrong as the screams crescendo then diminuendo into a pathetic mewl. Yuki jumps out of the tree and trots towards the hut with her two friends behind her. She doesn't bother telling Dogface to follow her. The screams are getting weaker and there won't be much time to save the baby.

Rei-chan cries when she sees there is blood all over the hut. Rei-chan runs for her mother, but Shiori holds her back. Shiori is older than both the girls by two decades but they are the same size as many of the hanyou children in the village. Yuki squeezes through the throngs of women and sees the problem. The feet are coming but the rest of the body is stuck. Elaine is losing too much blood. "Katsumoto!" she yells for her guard. He is ever her shadow and her worst nightmare.

He lands in the entrance, clearly appalled by what he is seeing.

"Get Chichiue and Tenseiga quickly." She runs into the hut and shoves Akari to the side. Chichiue has shown her how to do this many times.

"What are you doing?" Akari asks her. "The head is stuck. I can't get it out." The hanyou fire-cat's face is pained.

Yuki closes her eyes, she opens her hands and slashes into the belly, carefully. She once watched her mother do this on another human who was birthing a hanyou. It killed the mother, but Chichiue was there with his sword. She feels carefully for the baby. "You're going to kill her!" Akari yells at Yuki.

"I'm going to save them both." She reaches her hands inside the cavity and pulls the wiggling baby out while blood pools around the sides, falling down the bloated belly. The baby starts crying almost immediately once it's freed from its mother. But then the thought hits Yuki, Tenseiga isn't working and she wonders if she killed her best-friend's mother.

**Please review! You all are amazing! **

**Yes Haruka I was worried about you! Look if it wasn't covid19, I would be like, you're busy...you hate my story all of a sudden, you stopped reading...but because of COVID and current social upheaval in the US, I worry. So Consistent Guest, Cool Guest, Guesswho all people I haven't heard from in a while, let me know if you are still reading. **

**Next up! Sesshomaru-Past (Probably Thursday/Friday)**

**Rin-Past**

**Mayumi-Present**

**Yashida :)**

**Fic rec...I'm still working on the Wedding by Nicholas Sparks and it's giving me ideas...**


	48. Sesshomaru-past X

**Does anyone want to laugh with me. Literally like 5min after I posted that last chapter, the review cue was taken care of and all the reviews showed up. I was like, nooooooooooo! Come on! Well below I will respond to reviews from the previous 2 chapters to make up for missing one. You all know how much I love you. Yes things are getting dark!**

**You know what's funny. When people asked if the previous chapter had to do with the story, when I posted it I did a double-take, concerned that I had posted an unnecessary chapter, but then I forgot I combined 2 Sesshomaru-Present's together, but this is when the question is answered about whether or not Tenseiga can work on humans. **

**Sesshomaru-past**

He sits in a highbacked chair in his study, surrounded by Jaken, Ichiro from the East and Kensaku from the West. Kensaku was warned when the messenger was sent that violating their previous agreement would lead to a deadly end. For that reason, outside the door are several sentinels.

Sesshomaru took no chances when the meeting was called. Rin does not know what happened between him and Natsuki. She cannot know.

Rin sits cross legged in the corner listening to the argument. "What do you mean illnesses?" Sesshomaru tries to understand. Weeks before the messengers came from his allies, begging him for a cure to an illness that sounded all too familiar.

"I have ten cases in the West, a fever, then blisters. Katsumoto's father had something similar but was able to beat it. Three of them have succumbed," Kensaku's voice is cold, concerned and shaking. "Sesshomaru-sama we do not succumb to illnesses. Poison aside, we don't get sick!"

"We've had twelve cases, five are dead, the same," Ichiro, with flaming orange hair interjects. "Fever, a rash and it ends in vomiting blood. I heard your brother died of the same thing."

The wound is too fresh for Sesshomaru. It still burns, aches inside his chest. The mere mention of Inuyasha, send him into a flurry of emotions he staunches with anger. Grabbing Ichiro by the neck, he hisses, "do not speak of him."

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken raises his hands, "the Kappi…my people, twenty seven cases and eleven are dead. Herbs don't work. They've seen many healers. I need to return to them."

"Leave, Jaken."

The question lingers in his mind. He touched his brother's body, carried it to Goshinboku. If he were going to fall to the illness, it should have transferred. What his allies are describing is a communicable disease, but how it's being passed, he lacks the resources to discover.

Jaken bows, hurried, worried and runs out of the room.

Darkness brew in Sesshomaru's mind. He had thought the disease that took Inuyasha was a fluke, but now, it's spreading.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" The door flies open, nearly smacking into Rin. She folds her knee up to miss getting hit by the corner. Katsumoto rushes through the door, eyes glazed in concern. "You are needed in the village. Elaine has died during birth."

"No!" Rin screams loudly, covering her mouth. Elaine was one of the first to come to their home. Elaine was not from their lands, but her husband is. He was taken from his home as a boy and raised in a land where people have hair like straw and eyes like the sky. She is the mother of Yuki's best friend.

Sesshomaru rises. "Go back to the children," he dismissively orders the dog demon.

"Yuki is waiting for you. She cut the baby from the mother's stomach," Katsumoto insists, approaching Sesshomaru.

"Leave," he inflects, his voice sharper. Tenseiga is not working, it cannot work. Elaine will have to be buried and he will comfort Rin later.

"Aren't you at least going to try?" Rin stands up to him. She picks Tenseiga up from the corner where he has refused to wear it since Inuyasha's death. It's gathered dust around the hilt, a useless heirloom. "Sesshomaru. Please?"

All heads turn to her. In public she knows how to address him. She is not being submissive as she is meant to be. He stares into her eyes, trying to understand what he is being told and what he is supposed to do about it. How can a disease kill his people? He stands, stalking to her. He forcefully takes her by the arm, Tenseiga and all into the hallway, then into an empty room several doors down, where their voices will not be heard. He slams the door behind them. "You speak to me with that much disrespect-"

"What is wrong with you?!" she shouts at him, ripping her arm out of his reach.

He isn't sure. They have been fighting again. He has not made love to her in weeks, not since his brother died. He's barely left his study. He is unsure of the nights and days. A hole has formed in his stomach where food should be eaten, but he can't. Food tastes like dust, water like poison.

The book Kagome gave him all those years before, he's read over and over and cannot find the answer to how something so small and insignificant as a germ could kill his brother. The silence has created a rift between he and Rin. When they do speak it's like this. "You know how you are meant to address this Sesshomaru in public."

"I know that the yokai I loved would not be standing here, worrying about his honor when someone in the village needs him!" Her eyes are red, they have not ceased being red since they returned. He hears her crying at night but he refuses to comfort her for he cannot even comfort himself.

"It is not working!" his voice rises at her in a fury. Does she not understand? The katana is useless now.

"Please just try? Why should they lose their mother?"

"She's already dead."

"And Yuki is there by herself. Do you care nothing for your daughter? What is wrong with you? You've been so cold and uncaring. You don't eat, you're not sleeping and you haven't left your study! It's not going to bring your brother-"

He slams her back first into the wall, holding her face in his clenched hand. "Do not speak of him." He can't control the anger in his voice, the clenching of his teeth or the yearning to see her blood on the ground.

She cries in pain. "I'm getting sick of this." Tucking her feet into her chest, she kicks his stomach, throwing him back into the wall. "You cannot treat me like a piece of garbage you find in the street. If you won't use this katana, I will find someone who will. Someone with more honor than you, selfish bastard!" She picks up the katana and storms away, gripping the back of her head.

He grabs her wrist before she can leave with the katana, angered at her comment. "You will not speak to me like that."

"If you lay hands on me like that again Sesshomaru, I warn you, I will not stay here. Either come and help me, or let me find someone else to use your father's sword." She drops the katana into his palm.

Anger bubbles underneath the surface at her impudence. She has no respect for him, for the role he must play to keep her safe. Why can't she understand? He has sacrificed his life, his honor, his essence to be with her. He wraps an arm around her waist and lifts her into the air, out the nearest window and they fly to the village. He lands in a throng of people who immediately part for him like waves.

Yuki comes running from the house. "I killed her!" She flies into her mother's waiting arms. "I forgot it's not working!"

"Chichiue will try, won't you?" Rin stares him down with eyes that make him regret how he just spoke to her. Anger, if he can hold onto it, losing Inuyasha won't hurt so badly.

He glares back, forcing himself to staunch the regreat.

He walks through the villagers into the hut, where Elaine lays with blank eyes staring at the ceiling. The new infant is squawking in the arms of the Rabbit-demon father who holds his other two children as they sob for their mother. For a moment, he pictures himself holding his children over Rin's dead body. It will happen one day. She is mortal, she will not outlive him. The thought makes his fingers sweat, his claws tremble.

He unsheathes the katana and waits. He stares at her dead body, summoning the compassion to save her. She is the mother of his daughter's best friend. Rei and Yuki have played together from the moment they met at nine months. Elaine is fair haired and not from Japan. They were run out of their own country and travelled for months to find haven and protection. To his shock, the minions from the underworld finally come, revealing themselves. Blue and green urchins stab at her body, carrying her life-force to the afterworld. He closes his mouth, _why Tenseiga? _He slashes through them. Her body is healed, the stomach seals itself, her eyes flutter open, she coughs and is suddenly surrounded by her family. It's like the katana is betraying him. He can't breathe.

"Did it work?" Rin asks as he leaves.

"Yes," he says and flies away, leaving her alone with the villagers. _Why_

**Please review! Oh things are deteriorating at home between these two...**

**Next up! **

**Rin-Past**

**Mayumi-Present**

**Yashida- OOOO I can't wait for this one!**

**Now responses:**

**Kimmigirl9: **I'm doomed to make you cry! How many blankets now?

**Itzatakahashi:** Really? I thought you loved Sess fics! I am so glad to be a rare story you like! I know, making emotional and in character for me is extremely challenging. I feel like it's a major struggle. And now we find out that Yuki did not make a mistake, but for Sesshomaru, it's a betrayal of Tenseiga's power.

**Morality:** Yeah, you and Sesshomaru are on the same page. He knows he's dying and that a life by his side again...won't be easy.

**Mechine:** Mayumi does remind me of Yuki. I think before the well closed she was a little easier but after, she's struggling to accept her situation. I don't think Sess believes she can be happy...I think he thinks that Nina would be better off with someone who isn't about to die. And I agree...How did you like the ending to this? Elaine is alive but eeek Sesshomaru is sooo shut off now. HAHA Shiori is well over 30 so yes, she has a crush on Katsumoto. Considering that Yuki's body is still childlike we'll see when/if I write their reltionship.

**AngelJme: **A few more chapters and you'll see what's in the scroll!

**New readerx3: **That chapter was bittersweet, because even though Sesshomaru finally found Rin's reincarnation, what can they do? She may get better while it doesn't seem like there is much hope for him. He's definitely being a hypocrite right now. He did choose Natsuki, but think about it from his point of view. Is it right for him to start a romantic relationship with a 15 year old girl, especially when he may not have any time left? It's interesting because it feels like a betrayal but it's actually him stopping her from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak. Everything is dark through a child's eyes. HEHE I Yuki and Katsumoto will have their time, but possibly not in this story. I made my own HC that her body won't mature to adult form until she's nearing 100...which obviously now canon contradicts but I wrote this story and all of them long before yashahime and also the hanyos on Fire Island aged slowly too...and Shippo is unknown age, I don't know...taiyomaru can't take the bond away. It will have to be deallt with in the traditional way.

**HarukaSempai13x6:** Oh my dear, yes I worry about you and all my readers, simply because of the times. Actually some people have been sending out SOS's for other writers who have been missing on Tumbrl and FFN...I totally get mental health breaks. I do that too at times. I actually do not have a facebook account for that reason. I don't 100% like social media. I have tumblr and twitter, but I had to get off whatsapp too, because people were just being soo paranoid. Yeah it definitely wasn't rape, the sexual encounter was very violent. Tsukimaru doesn't understand what he saw. Yuki's anger has always been an issue throughout the series. My own head canon is that Sesshomaru wasn't an easy child at all. Sesshomaru knew it was a monk. Sesshomaru in the future, in the past not. He finds out later over the course of the disease. Oh all your questions are going to get answered. You'll find out about the plague. Hisato sent for G-sama to help with Inuyasha. So Taka wasn't against her father and Nina, she was against her adult father kissing her little girl. It was definitely more protective as in don't touch my little girl or I'll kick your ass dad or not.

**Luin-Fanel: **What am I going to do? It seemed like the perfect meeting but Sesshomaru pushed Nina away, now what will happen? And yes this is where we learn about the use of Tenseiga changing. Thank you for the well wishes. How is your family doing? I'm still hoping school starts in the fall. We're keeping everything pretty low key...


	49. Rin-Past VIII

**Well hello everyone! I am in such a bad mood today...like mega bad...I made a mistake yesterday with something with my family and then I stayed up until 4am...dumb, then my 4 year old was screaming bloody murder half this morning so I didn't get to sleep in...and I'm just all done.**

**I am so happy to report that Fire and Ice's nomination has been switched from Best Angst to Best Drama :). That makes me feel way better! **

**LOL motivation to load and post this chapter now? 1...bad mood and 2...well the last chapter got 11 reviews. Which means I have 11 to respond to LOL. So now I'm posting for the sole purpose of not letting that number pile up any higher.**

**Rin-past**

She sits in the hot springs nursing a bruised back. She lets the hot water slush over her aching skin. Her head hurts. She has a cup of tea next to her to ease the pain. She covers her eyes and begins to sob, not understanding what's happening. In the past he would never treat her the way he has in the last few weeks. If it continues and he walks down this path, how does he become the one she saw in the future? Her mind circles around scenarios, how to save him from what he is becoming and wondering if just by seeing who he is in the future, did she change the past.

She dunks her head in the water trying to calm the tide of emotions. She winces as the water washes over the painful goose egg he gave her on the back of her head, just where her skull meets her neck. She presses her hand against the skin, it comes away bloody. "Dammit," she sighs, leaning back and resting her head. The children are already in bed. It took most of the evening to assuage Yuki of the guilt she felt. She had done exactly what Rin would have done, save the baby, let the mother die. Sesshomaru would fix it.

Rustling in the bedroom catches her ear. She can see him through the curtains. The door opens, he has a tray of food, both for him and for her. He is dressed only in a light grey kimono. Setting the tray by the hot springs, he removes his clothing, climbing into the waters next to her. She immediately moves to the other side, away from him, turning away, hoping he can't tell that she was just crying through the sulfur and natural smells of the water. The steam can look like tears, but it can't hide red cheeks and eyes, or what pulses between their bond.

"You weren't at dinner," his voice is softer than the demon that yelled at her earlier.

"I'm not hungry," her tone is thick with tears. She couldn't bring herself to eat before. Not after what he did, what he said or how he left her to comfort Yuki alone.

"You're upset," he rubs the scar on his chest.

She wants to slap him. Even she can see it glowing, reminding him that he is meant to do more than treat her the way that he has. It hurts even more knowing he returned because of the scar on his chest, not out of love. The only reason he is there is because of their bond. "I'm going to finish in the bathhouse." She goes to get out, only to be pulled back in. "Please? I'm tired of fighting. Ow!" She cries as her back slides against the rock.

He turns her around, making her skin crawl in arousal and pain. "Who did this?" Fingers run over the bruises on her back and into the hair where the painful bump stings at his touch.

She wipes her dampened eyes. "You don't remember slamming my back against the wall?"

"I did this?"

She nods, attempting to get off his lap. "I need space. Let me go."

"No." He presses his lips into the back of her head.

She immediately feels relief from her pain, cursing that he can both hurt her and heal her. The yoki bleeds into her skull, down her neck, into her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely.

"It's not enough." She covers her face.

She feels his palm and fingers spread out against her back, soothing the pain, removing the bruises. "I will not do it again."

"You've said that too," she says, "I don't want to be around you right now." She can't face him. It's not the first time he has hurt her. It happened often during sparring session but it was the first time rage led him to leave a mark on her.

She is pulled back into his lap as he possessively nuzzles her neck. "I have mistreated you."

She nods.

"Talk to me," he kisses the joint of her shoulder.

She curses her body for reacting to his touch, for heating, for wanting more. She faces away from him, a pathetic attempt at staying angry. "I'm not the one that needs to speak," she scrubs her eyes and swallows her sorrow. She turns and presses her hand against his chest, "you ache and you won't let me comfort you."

"You ache," he says.

"I can't…I don't know what you want from me Sesshomaru. I'm sorry Tenseiga worked on a human but isn't on Yokai but…"

He growls and she doesn't know why. She hasn't heard that before. "Are you?" his tone darkens again.

She flinches, moving away from him. "I'm going to bed." She ceases trying to speak to him. He can't be bothered to speak about his brother. If she brings it up, he lashes out. She knows Tenseiga only reviving humans is going to make things that much worse between them. She tries to get out of the springs only to be stopped again.

"Make love to me," he mutters in her ear.

"What?"

"I need it." He pulls her to straddle his lap. He kisses her lips and she can't resist. She also needs it. Their lips meet, tongues pass in pleasure. He knows all the right places, down her neck, across her collar bone but then it turns into something she isn't used to. He takes and it hurts.

"Stop," she shoves herself off his lap, "what is wrong with you?" She gets enough leverage to get out of the pool. She touches her side where blood runs down her skin. There are no words. "After what your other brother did to me? You know…" She can't finish. She runs into their bedroom.

He follows, he always follows. She can't get away. He presses her back against the wall and whispers, "it hurts." He pulls her hand to his chest. He is naked and so is she. His heat presses against her stomach. "I…" He raises his hand.

She sees it. Flinching, she covers her face, hiding from him behind upraised hands.

The back of the hand comes down in a gentle caress, a tender show of affection against her cheek. She gazes back at eyes full of betrayal. "Did you think I would hit you?"

Her bottom lip quivers. "You've been so angry." She exhales a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Their bodies are so close together.

"I have never hit you." He presses himself against her, hands running down the side of her neck.

She can't stand the tone of his voice, it's tender and affectionate and calls to her. "You slammed me against a wall. I'm not yokai Sesshomaru, it hurt."

"Forgive me," he whispers lips brushing against hers. "You're shivering." His fingers run up her neck, through her hair and down her back, pulling her closer to his heat. He lifts one of her legs seeking entry again.

She flinches at the invasion and swallows. "It hurts."

His hand ghosts down her stomach, between her legs, cupping her sex tenderly. "You're very dry. What's wrong my heart?"

_My heart, _it makes her break out in bumps when he calls her that. "I could ask you the same thing." She shivers both from the chill of evening and from the hands running up and down her sides. "We haven't done this in a few weeks. I'm not ready." There were times in the past she would drip in anticipation of his touch, that the sight of him naked would send her into a frenzy, but this…not like this.

He backs away, taking her hand in his. She would follow him anywhere and she knows that he knows it. She knows nothing besides him, no love besides his arms. He was her first everything. She trusts him, but lately…They walk onto the futon. She accepts his embrace, falling against his warmth. He lifts her chin, she accepts the kiss he gives her. His lips are dry, warm and heat her mouth. She moans lightly as his hands come back up her body, over her hips, up her sides, to rest against her breast. The sensation makes her flinch, she breaks the kiss backing away. "Too fast…"

He shakes his head. "You act like we haven't done this before."

"We haven't been in this place before." She keeps her distance and turns her back on him. She knows before he does it that he will close the gap. His chest presses against her skin. He moves the hair from neck and then a hot tongue traces circles over her skin.

"What place?" He drags her down onto the bed, sitting next to her.

"You, like this." She grips his wrists as hands find her breasts again, roughly massaging them. "You hurt me today and now you want me to be intimate with you…" she has to say it, "you won't let me talk about him." Hands tighten against her skin. "And when I do, you do this. Let me go."

The fingers slacken against her skin. "Make love to me," he says again.

She stands up and walks to their window. "I can't like this," she whispers knowing no matter how quiet she is, he will hear it. "I need to mourn for him. I can't bottle it like you do, mmmh," she sighs as a hot mouth falls against her neck.

"Come to bed," he seduces her with his words, pulling her back into their bed. He lifts the covers and she lays down. He rolls her to face him.

She stares into his eyes, trying to lose herself in the first kiss he gives her. "Gently," she mutters against his lips. She wraps an arm around his waist. She pants as his mouth runs down her neck. She lifts her chin, swallowing as his tongue works its way to the tender spot that dips by the curve of her collar bone. His face comes down between her breasts. She holds his cheeks, as his tongue flicks over nipples. "Mmmh." His mouth is wet and hot as it laps against her skin. She can feel him seeking lower and lower. She knew that he had needed her to satiate his lust, to give her body, but her own was not cooperating. She's forgotten she can feel this good. He rises over her, pulling her legs apart. He grips her stomach, and she shivers. His breath pants against her opening.

His nose dips first. "You're so dry." His fingers run down her opening, she can feel the back of one finger running up and down her opening. "Have I been so terrible?" He folds his arms over her stomach and rests his chin on laced fingers.

"Would you enjoy being around someone who throws you into things when they are upset and hiding from their emotions?" She strokes his hair. His eyes fall. She sees it clearly, "you miss him." She runs her thumbs over the markings on his cheek. "I miss him too," she finally supplies for both of them. "I'm sorry I can't be what you need right now," she attempts to sit up and kiss him.

"Lay down." He pushes her back down. His breath is by her opening again. "Shh," he licks her lips, wetting them with his tongue. He opens her with his fingers. Her body tenses then a fire starts as he his lips create suction against her clit.

"Oh." She feathers her fingers through his hair. Her walls tense as he creates more suction. She feels herself moistening for him, searching for something to clamp down on. "Kami, Sesshomaru."

He pauses long enough to ask, "Does it feel good?"

"Yes." Her chest heaves as she breaths faster. She lifts her legs back more as her body tenses against her control. His tongue is advancing, sweeping in and out as he lays over her. He flicks it up, then sucks deeply against her skin. She wants more, she can feel it burning inside. It rips a hole into her stomach, "please…" she begs him.

"Where?" He asks her teasingly, but she hears something else behind his voice, mourning, yearning.

"Inside." She opens herself, raising her knees. It tightens her core. The fingers enter, he knows just where to go. A dip between two folds, where he pumps his fingers in and out while his mouth continues to suck against her sensitive parts. She feels herself swelling, tightening, begging for him. Liquid releases onto his fingers, "Oh…oh…oh…" The pressure stops suddenly.

He rises over her, cupping her face, his thumb damp from her heat traces her bottom lip. He kisses her mouth.

"Why did you stop?"

"I will not hurt you again. Forgive me." His eyes are so serious, she knows he is telling the truth.

His fingers dip back down where she needs him most. His mouth follows, making more suction and heat. She's back on the ledge, in pain and needy. One last push of his fingers and she is over the edge. She sees white light, her body convulses, she can't move.

He rises over her dipping himself down. She grips his shoulders. "Ready?"

She nods holding onto his chest. She reaches down grasping him, helping him find her center that is still clenching. He pushes in slowly and carefully. "Your so wet…" he grips the pillows for stability, "you're so wet Rin," he kisses her mouth.

She holds on as he moves within her, pumping faster and faster. He takes now that he has given her what she needs. She wraps her legs around his waist. Then she sees it. A droplet forms beneath his right eye. A hand digs into her side, lifting her onto his lap as he releases within her. "I couldn't save him," his tears run down her back. "I couldn't save him."

"It's…" she can't say it's okay, because it isn't. How can death be acceptable? No matter who it is. "I'm sorry my love," she holds him, knowing his pride, knowing the strength it's taking him to break down. The last time he cried in her arms like this was when they lost their baby, their daughter they named Sakura. "Shh," she lifts his chin and kisses his lips. "I love you."

Silence takes them. There are no more words left to speak.

**Please review! Well, I think he made up for that body slam in the last chapter but goodness...This poor man...demon...person...**

**Next up: Mayumi-Present and then Yashida**

**Most likely at some point in the next few days.**

**Story recommendations! Of course Fire and Ice but I think most of you are reading it already. But also Myravenspirit is a new author in the Sessrin fandom. Her stuff is cute and fluffy. Kimmigirl9 is working on a reincarnation story called Life Without You. SpirtedRanger is writing of Ice and Flowers and Warrior Princess. Both with promising beginnings. **

**Kimmigirl9: **I know! And imagine the blow to Sesshomaru knowing it will save humans but not his kind...

**Smmahamazing: **Oh I agree with you! It's like why must their be distance. It's all Rumiko's fault that Sesshomaru isn't a snuggly teddy bear...she had to go make him emotionless and stoic and then I draw on that and yeah...

**Guest#1: **Considering you are probably the same person that put this on SessxRin drabbles...please find something else to say. Sick of hearing it and it's a heartless comment that will no longer be allowed to grace this story.

**New Readerx2: **Oh you are sooo right. Sesshomaru is so stressed out. All of this is breaking him, what he was forced to do with Natsuki, his brother and as we'll see when the village is decimated by the disease. How much can one man take? But you are right, Rin hurts just as much. Inuyasha was like her big brother, they were very close. Sesshomaru doesn't see how the blow of losing him hit her too.

**Ginax2: **I think I read What Life Took from Me. But the other one not so much. I've literally fallen back on

**Itzatakahashi: **You really have to ask if they could get more tense? Okay this chapter pretty much puts a salve on that last one but hot damn...yeah...

**angeljme: **Rin is trying to comfort him but he keeps pushing her away until this chapter. But yes the explanation of why Tenseiga worked on humans will come.

**Mechine: **So truth? I'm going to attempt to insert light here and there, especially in the present chapters, but we're getting into the dark years of the Disease so the past/perspective chapters will mostly be dark. I'm not sure how to sweeten the bitter waters of death. I did not even think of that...but Rabbits are awesome aren't they? Actually though...Paloqueth...that's all I'm going to say...

**Luin-fanel: **Tenseiga doesn't work on Youkai at all anymore, not even in the future. We're considering gymnastics for our kids this summer. I think it might be the best way to let them blow some steam.

**Harukasempai: **It's coming in the Yashida chapter. Which will come this week :). Sesshomaru is being a total ass...total and complete ass. I agree with you!


	50. Mayumi-Present VYashida

**Hello all my amazing readers! We are back with another chapter to make you grab the seat of your pants.**

**Few disclaimers...my E key is not working well on my computer LOL...so if anything is missing it in my bolded notes. Sorry.**

**And hello...omg...people have been flaming stories like crazy. I thought I was special when Guest said that my story was dark and lacked imagination and something else not worth remembering or approving. Then guest 90's said they looked forward to me getting bored and abandoning my stories, probably something else, also not worth approving.**

**Then someone went on my buddy Neutronstarchild's page and flamed her. And then someone went on my boo Keichanz page and flamed her...and then we started talking in Discord, apparently these people are all over Tumblr, Ao3 and Discord right now. Whoever they are, same people, groups of people. I don't know. So in their honor, we get more story. Because begging me for boredom inspired some more writing.**

**My husband thinks for every flame I should post a new chapter. Trust me, I have a big enough buffer on this one I can. **

**But just a reminder...ya'll are wasting your breath. Your accounts will be blocked and your anon/guest reviews will be declined. I have a really thick skin, and the worst thing you are going to do is just give me more reviews, which makes this story more popular.**

**Thanks to the wonderful nominator and Feudal Connection Fire and Ice has been nominated for Best Drama. Voting Starts I think July 29th...I'll have to double check that. But it's exciting!**

**They could use some best canon (coughs nominate me.)**

**Mayumi-present**

She sits in Ojisama's office with the other doctors and her family. The air is tense around them, stale, making her shiver.

Natsuki forced Haruto Yamamoto to call his wife and make up an excuse as to why he couldn't come home. Yoshi's girlfriend broke up with him for missing another date. They're sitting, huddled around another stack of papers and blood tests.

Tsukimaru unearthed the ones from Ojisama's private stash, including ones brought through the well. They're comparing them to the ones they just took on Ojisama after he collapsed. It's almost comical watching them try to understand what they see. Even her blood diverges vastly from youkai blood.

Yoshi complains of exhaustion. Three nurses are sleeping on the floor in the waiting area. "If you don't find an answer, I'm going to kill you," Natsuki threatens Yamamoto-sama again. "Why he thought working here would help us," she paces, wringing her fingers.

"If I knew what was used to poison your kind, this would go much faster. The effects? Anything! You will not get away with killing us," Yamamoto-sama yells at them.

"I will and I will raze this place to the ground," Natsuki is gloating. It scares Mayumi. When she wants to be, the yokai can be truly evil. "Do you think we never had a contingency plan in place should you find out about him? All of this will be gone. We have a…Mayumi what are those computer colds called?"

"Virus," she scoffs, "just like human colds." Natsuki has never been "into" technology. She's like the old people Mayumi's classmates complain about only worse, because she looks like she's 19 but is well over 800 years old. "Can't teach an old dog new tricks…" she mutters.

"Excuse me?" Natsuki turns on her, furious.

"Nothing," Mayumi fakes a smile. _Nothing at all._

"A virus was written to blot out everything he did. If burning this place doesn't work," she picks up a vase. Her hand glows green, bright and the room fills with a rotten smell. "Poof," the vase disappears in her hand, eaten by her poison.

"My god," Yoshi covers his mouth and backs away, shaken.

"You have no idea who did it? What did it? Beyond monks? Let me speak to him again," Yamamoto-sama stands up. "I need to know the components."

Natsuki blocks his path. "If he doesn't rest, his end will come faster. I am not ready to lose him." The demoness continues pacing as her son sits in a chair, staring off into space.

Mayumi has seen it before, she does it when she's nervous and upset. Natsuki looks like she has been crying. She knows there is a girl in the room recovering with Sesshomaru who is blind but she hasn't gone back in. At one time, Ojisama told Mayumi that at her core, Natsuki was selfish and self-serving. It was what made them such a good couple. Mayumi stands up and asks, "what about the scroll he still hasn't read?"

"What scroll?" Natsuki turns around.

"I found a scroll," Taiyomaru answers. "It was at Higurashi shrine…" he's taller than her Uncle but he's in between soft spoken and loud. He lowers his head, "the Monks name was Yashida. It's all there."

"You read it already?" Mayumi asks him. Izayoi is asleep in their Uncle's office chair.

Taiyomaru nods, "how else would I know that he needed to read it. He hasn't read it has he?"

Mayumi shakes her head.

"You should sleep little one," Tsukimaru finally stands up from his spot by one of the windows. "Come with me."

"Tsukimaru?" Taiyomaru shoots out of his chair, nearly tripping on the sitting doctors. His eyes are wide and his mouth slack.

"I smell it too," Natsuki runs from the room.

"He's bleeding out," Tsukimaru puts Mayumi in a chair and follows them.

"He's already bled out?" Yoshi asks following behind them. If Yoshi only knew how much he could lose and how quickly her Uncle replaces it. She listened to him drone on one night about how superior his blood was.

"He's not like you," Mayumi yawns. "His body replenishes what he loses quickly."

Mayumi runs after the rest to find her Uncle leaning over the side of the bed. Blood is spurting from his mouth. Even she can smell it. The bed of the girl that he was treating is closer to him. She moves the break and pulls the bed back into place on the other side of the room. The girl is sleeping and covered in a mat of sweat. The nurses run in, woken by the clatter and shouts.

"Suction!" Yamamoto reaches for the machine that sounds like a vacuum and pushes into Ojisama's mouth. "How do we stop the bleeding?" Yamamoto-sama asks, "tell me how my friend."

"You can't," Sesshomaru coughs catching his breath and wipes his mouth, before he rallies and vomits again. The tube is put back in, helping him to clear his airway. Mayumi shakes with fear. The floors are painted in blood.

"I can," Natsuki leans him back, "relax," she says touching her forehead to his. Her hand runs over his stomach, "your organs are failing. You really are intent on leaving me. And getting my feet dirty." She tries to flick the blood from her silken shoes.

Mayumi comes out and picks up the scroll. "Why haven't you read it?"

One of the nurses picks up his arm, "the vein collapsed…I think."

Sesshomaru lifts his arm. "It looks the same on us as it does you. Give me a large bore IV and a central line kit."

Mayumi knows what that is. There are things she was forced to learn to live in his home. Most specifically about how to care for her Uncle and the others that were suffering from the same ailment. One of the nurses hands it to him. They all watch in shock as he slices the skin just below his collarbone, he staunches the bleeding with his own finger, and threads the tubing in. He changes the IV bag from going into his blown vein to the one in his chest. "I need more blood Tsukimaru, Taiyomaru," he says to his sons. "Tsukimaru," his tone lowers so much it makes Mayumi want to run and hide.

"What Chichiue?" His white haired child asks him, fidgeting backwards, like some unknown argument is happening between the two of thm.

"Do you have something you want to tell me?" His eyes glance over at Nina sleeping on the other bed.

For a moment Tsukimaru is still, then his eyes widen. "N-n-nothing," he says firmly. "Nothing…now."

"Chichiue, why haven't you read this?" Taiyomaru picks up the scroll.

"And here I thought I was supposed to be resting." Sesshomaru closes his eyes.

"You're avoiding it," Taiyomaru holds it. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

"I'll do it," Mayumi offers.

"Does it have what he used to poison them?" Yamamoto-sama asks.

"Here," Taiyomaru opens it and points to words Mayumi can't quite make out. She's versed in reading Modern Japanese but she failed to learn ancient Japanese.

"I'm no scholar," Yoshi says glancing at the other doctor for help.

"Neither am I. You can read this?" Haruto asks Taiyomaru.

"I will read it," Sesshomaru takes it from both of them. "Now leave, all of you."

"What did they use?" Yamamoto-sama asks as he is ushered out by Taiyomaru.

"Can we clean the mess Rinata-sama?" One of the nurses asks.

He nods.

Mayumi stays behind. She climbs into the bed and sits down next to her Uncle. She wipes her nose, "I'm sorry."

He playfully taps her nose and lifts up the blanket to his bed for her to snuggle against his side. In the past, he would have killed her for this.

She curls against him and cries. "Please stay. Don't go."

"It's okay little one," he mutters against her hair. He lifts up her hands and sniffs them, "you will pay for and clean the mess you made at school."

"You're no fun. Ojisama from five hundred years ago would have thought it was funny," she says yawning.

He suddenly starts laughing. If he had seen his niece blow something up and sent a bunch of humans running from their own sewage he would have been rolling inside and stoic on the outside. He breathes in deeply, "you smell like flowers did you know that? A rose, on the first day of spring."

"You're breaking your promise, you said you promised to take care of us. You can't do that if you die," she kisses his cheek.

"Do you plan to sleep on me?"

"Read it to me?" she says exhausted.

"It won't change what happened Mayumi," he says softly.

"I'll know my father's killer. Isn't that enough?"

He doesn't answer, Ojisama begins reading.

**Yashida**

I am Yashida. I was sent to learn under master Ungai when I was twelve years old. I come from a long line of monks. My family hails from the northern provinces. In my youth I was a precocious child. I loved running in the fields and finding plants that no one had ever seen before. My mother was a master Healer. My father protected the family shrine. I had three sisters and two brothers. I was the youngest. We were all very close in age, one constantly climbing over the other. I raced my eldest brother Hiro into the forests to see who could collect water from the river the fastest and bring it back without spilling. He always won. My sisters helped my mother tend a garden in front of our home. Every day they could be found knee deep in fresh mud and budding herbs.

It ended the day a demon horde attacked our village. We tried to escape. My father erected a barrier, but this particular demon had green vines that grew from his body. They penetrated the barrier, then white crystal lights shot from his body, tearing my father to pieces. The barrier fell, he and his horde covered my village. I hid in a cellar where our neighbor made sake with her two children. I was eleven at the time. The demons couldn't find us. Ungai-sama said it was because the scent of the sake was so strong that we survived. When it was over, our neighbors implored me to follow in my father's footsteps. They hired a carriage with what was left of our treasures and I was sent to live with Ungai-sama in his shrine.

The first days were lonely. I missed my parents and my family. I missed racing into the forest with Hiro. I was diligent in my studies. I learned all manner of exorcisms. The first was how to remove spirits from the homes with sutras and herbs. Together with the other apprentices, we learned how to create mixtures that destroyed the sensitive smells of some of the minor demons. The effects never lasted long.

One night, Ungai-sama called me into his private study. His study opened from one of the outer wooden walkways, but oddly I heard grunting and yelling on the other side. I came through the door, then out doors on the other side. Several of my fellow monks had tied down what looked like a hanyou hawk demon. Her eyes were the strangest color brown I had ever seen. Her hair was brown and long, tied into several intricate braids. "Let me go!" she shouted at them. Her nails extended into long talons but couldn't cut the ropes that bound her.

"Ungai-sama?"

Ungai-sama sat in front of the hawk demon, mixing together several herbs. I wasn't sure what they were. Next to him sat the head of a snake-yokai, the tale of a mamoshi demon, a bag of herbs that stunk of poisonous plants and berries.

"Sit down," Ungai-sama patted the floor next to him. His face was lined and wrinkled. He was nearing his fiftieth year. "There are a rash of demon attacks since that strange force left Mt. Hakarei. After we deal with this abomination, you will accompany me into the woods. We will put your skills to work."

"She looks like a child," I said, almost feeling bad for her.

She flailed her arms. A rope was tied around her neck, another around her waist and a final thicker one binding her hands. She shrieked loudly as she was flung back down to the ground. Her skin was dark like the earth. She begged to be released. "A sheep in wolves clothing."

"Can't we just purify the yoki from her?"

"It would come back. Yashida does this trouble you?" He lifted up his stone pestle ceasing the mixture. "This, if it works the way I want, will take care of our problem. We'll send her back to her people and perhaps it will take care of them too." He rose off his mat and told the girl, "If you drink this I will let you go."

"It smells like poison," the girl hissed.

"If you don't, we will kill you." Ungai-sama pressed his hands against the girl's throat releasing holy energy from his fingers that crackled and burned against her skin.

She shrieked again, sounding more like a bird than a human. She took the bowl and drank it. "Yashida, you will watch her and record the reactions in this scroll." Ungai-sama handed me the scroll and a quill to write. The ropes were tied down with large spikes, driven in by mallets.

I sat down in front of her, almost pitying the poor girl with tainted blood. My job from then was to watch her. She ate and drank like normal for the first month. Once she reverted to a completely human form. She was beautiful. Her hair changed from the strange goldish-brown, with stripes to plain black. Her ears that were almost non-existent on the sides of her head, extended into human-like ears. "Please let me go, you promised if I drank it I could leave." She cried at night. "My name is Akane."

I tried to ignore her.

"I don't have a family or a tribe. I lived with my father, a human, in a mountain cliff. Please?" Her eyes were pathetic and downcast. "Please let me go?"

Her pleading grated on my nerves. I wondered how many of my brothers and sisters begged for their lives against the horde that destroyed my village. "You are an abomination. When we begin to see effects then you may leave." I said it so coldly, not believing my own words. My father did not harbor the same hatred for demons that Ungai-sama did. He was known to heal some, but whenever I thought of his benevolence towards them, my mind went back to the day my village was destroyed. I could still hear the screaming as if it were yesterday, the cries, the shrieks. The bodies afterwards were putrid. The skin was missing from the muscle and bone. I buried my own family that day. Is there anything such as a good demon?

"I am a product of love. How are we any different?" She is forced to lay on her stomach at night, arms out stretched. A penance for her evil.

"Demons destroy whatever they come in contact with!" I yelled at her.

"Do we?" Akane's eyes were like black orbs, captivating. "Have you heard of a hanyou hawk demon attacking anyone?"

"No," I admitted, "I haven't."

"Then why do I suffer for the sins of my kind? What about you? How many of your kind have purified mine? Does that mean we have the right to destroy your homes and poison your body?"

"You are evil, conceived from a union that was unholy." I walked around her, searching for the malice that I was supposed to feel for her. Yet, Akane seemed like a child, no more than eleven or twelve. "How old are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," she shrugged off my request.

"Akane," I kneeled down next to her face holding a cup of water. Ungai-sama said to only give her water and rice during the day. She drank gratefully. "What if I let you go?"

Her eyes swelled with hope.

"It's not time," Ungai-sama's voice boomed from behind me. "Do not talk to that thing."

"Ungai-sama…what did you give her?" I ran into his study. "What is it supposed to do?"

"With any luck, it will kill her." He polished his golden shakujo as if it is nothing.

"You said you would let her go?"

"You know what stops them from leaving this world? They are immune to all manner of illness. A hanyou gets sick, but it is often not deadly. They are rejected by their kind and ours as they should be. They are a sacrilege, a shame of an existence. The pure-blooded ones, particularly those that walk in human form, they are immune to all of our poisons and all of our illnesses. I am seeking a way to destroy them. Get one sick and let it spread like a plague. The demon-race will come to an end."

"What if we are wrong? What did Akane-"

"Akane? You asked her name? A beast doesn't need a name."

I felt embarrassed.

"You've been speaking to that thing?"

I nodded my head, trying to avoid his harsh eyes.

"You will not speak to that thing. She is not a human. Do not be deceived by her looks. Given the chance to betray you, she would."

The next night, Akane began to develop symptoms. Her body covered in a fever. She shook. I waited for Ungai-sama to retire for the night. I lay one of my haori's over her shoulders. I felt bad that she was suffering so. She couldn't escape her bonds unless I removed the sutras from the ropes that held her. As the night wore on, I became tired and my eyelids drooped. When I opened them, a woman was standing over me. She had wings like a bird, and longer talons on her legs. "Let my daughter go."

"Haha-ue?" Akane's eyes were crusted over. Her fingers were covered in blisters.

The moment I tried to yell for Ungai-sama, human fingers covered my mouth, a knife went to my throat. I couldn't turn my head. "Remove the sutras," a man spoke from behind me.

"What have you done to her?" The majestic female demon with pointed ears stroked her daughter's braids.

"Poison," I admitted.

"Which kind?" she demanded of me.

"I don't know. It wasn't me-" suddenly her talons were in my neck. I couldn't breathe. Blood trickled down my skin. "It wasn't me!" My mouth was covered again.

"It was me." Ungai-sama came from his room, khakkhara in hand. It glinted gold in the sunlight. "Let him go yokai."

The female demoness turned on Ungai-sama. "Let her go. We trade."

"No trades!" Ungai-sama flew into the air, slamming his staff into the dirt. It kicked up a dust storm, then a wave of purifying energy came flying at the female demoness. She flew into the sky, missing the waves all together. Her body changed from humanoid, to a hawk with livid red eyes. She dived at Ungai-sama. Her beak ripped into the flesh around his stomach. The ripple of blue energy smashed into Akane. It was no longer a hanyou lying on the floor of the courtyard but a human girl.

"Akane!" the man called, tightening the blade against my throat. "Release her monk, or I will slit this one's throat."

"Ungai-sama?" I was terrified. My legs were wet from voiding myself, my fingers shook.

Akane's mother dove into the lines holding her daughter only to be repelled by the holy energy sealing them. She soared into the air again, bent her wings into her body and dove.

"Let the boy go." Ungai-sama forced himself off the ground. He wiped the blood from his stomach. He marched over to the lines and began removing the sutras. As soon as the power was gone, the mother hacked the ropes with her talons. The father and daughter climbed onto the brown, speckled hawks back and then they were gone. "Do you see now Yashida? They are evil. Their kind deserves to be wiped from the earth and I will find the way."

Ungai-sama saw potential in me. I thought Akane was like me at first. A simple human but then she wasn't and neither were the ones that came for her. Ungai-sama said they were her parents. I wondered if she survived the mixture of herbs that Ungai gave her. He continued experimenting and trapping demons. We discovered which ones cause internal bleeding, some liquified the insides, but only in half-demons.

When I was seventeen, we heard of the Ongoguki demon that attacked a village taking all the children. It was a strange event. It was there that Ungai-sama met his greatest foe, the one that would give him the hunger to find an even more powerful means of destroying our enemies. We found him, regal, white hikama, white haori and full of a fury we had never felt before. He had just slaughtered an entire village. That is what Ungai-sama said, but I was confused because there were also night robbers.

We approached him. Ungai-sama tried a variety sutras to subdue him. He said, "I have no use for humans." He had silver hair, pointed ears and the strangest facial markings.

"What was he?" I asked Ungai-sama.

"A Mononoke of the greatest power," he said, angry that he had used a large array of sutras that hadn't worked.

Later that day, while we were searching for the demon that stole the children, we found a little girl of seven or eight years of age foraging for food in the forest. She had just pulled a turnip from the ground. As soon as she saw us she ran. "Wait! I sense yoki!" Ungai-sama chased after her, worried that she was one of the village children. She said she wasn't, and then flew away on a double headed dragon. It was a strange day indeed.

Later that night, we finally found Ongoguki. "We'll lure him out," Ungai-sama told us. We were seven monks and Ungai-sama. We made straw children out of spare parts around the forest. Ungai-sama lured the Ongoguki out of his hiding place. He discovered all too late that they weren't real. We ran around him in a circle, whirling and twirling. Our red beads sent waves of purifying energy. Sutras covered his body. Ungai-sama called, "disappear demon," banging his staff on the ground. The Ongoguki was slain.

Afterwards the children were happy to be rescued, except one. One of them said there was a girl hiding in the cave that didn't want to come out. She said that humans were scarier than demons. Ungai-sama picked her up. She struggled and screamed, "let me go. No! No!"

"Why do you struggle so much?" Ungai-sama questioned her. She should have been happy to be free. "There's no way you can live alone in these mountains."

"Yes I can! I live on my own. I'm fine on my own!"

"Don't say such foolish things." He continued walking, not allowing her down. She wore a checkered kimono of fine silk.

"No, let go of me! Sesshomaru-sama will come for me!"

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Ungai-sama questioned her.

"I don't want to go back to a village with humans!" she screamed and that is when we felt it. "Sesshomaru-sama! Sesshomaru-sama!"

A dark yoki emanated from the trees. Ungai-sama threw a talisman at the forest. We felt a most terrible yoki coming from that direction. The trees were destroyed but there he stood, unaffected by the purification. It was the same demon from the other night!

"It's the demon from the other day!" I told Ungai-sama.

"Let me go!" she screamed again.

"Yokai, you've bewitched this child!" Ungai-sama accused the demon.

"Ungai-sama?" I asked as the demon began his approach.

"This demon's foul yoki must be dealt with!" Ungai-sama raised his staff.

We ran around him in a purifying circle. We threw talismans on him. Ungai-sama slammed his staff on the ground but the purifying energy was to no effect. He was not destroyed!

When the dust cleared, the demon was standing there as if it was nothing!

"He's still alive?" One of our comrades asked.

The demon, Sesshomaru-sama continued his approach, unphased by our attack.

"Stand fast! Immobilize him!" Ungai-sama demanded. We made another circle around him, until white energy lit around his feet. It burned like a fire.

"Halt!" We stopped his advance. We sent our purifying energy again. Ungai-sama used his staff, sending waves of white purification in his direction.

The demon growled, his eyes turned red. He snarled in rage, he blew back the purification energy, building a red twisting cloud of evil energy. It sent us flying. Ungai-sama said, "such power." He was too strong, even for us. My side ached, my face scraped against a stone.

"Rin," the demon said.

"Yes?" she answered happily.

"Do as you like," he told her and walked away.

"Wait, that is Mononoke, a demon, it's not someone a human child should follow. Wait! Humans and demons live in different worlds!" Ungai-sama yelled at the foolish child as she ran from him and followed the youkai.

The next day we met a hanyou and Ungai-sama did not understand why humans, especially a miko and a monk would travel with ones like those. "It is because of them we must act," he said.

When we returned to the Shrine, Ungai-sama became ill. "It was the fight with the demon," he said. "It was too much." On his death-bed he handed me a scroll. "Finish my work. In here is all you need to know to destroy them."

The next time I saw the Dai-yokai that had stood against Ungai-sama and seven monks, he was on his back, hidden by shrubs near the river. A human woman straddled his bare body. We were a company of fifteen, dedicated to wiping his kind from the face of the earth. The human woman looked young, but it was her belly that caught our attention. It was full and there was the faintest taint of yoki coming from the small mound of flesh. We knew then, that he had bewitched her, impregnated her. I ran forward first, followed by comrades. "Leave her alone, Mononoke!" It wasn't her fault. He was as majestic as the first time I saw him. Why wouldn't a young woman be manipulated by him? There were only eight of us before, this time our numbers were nearly doubled. He would be ours.

He pushed the human woman off him and flew to his feet. He stepped in front of her, shielding her from us. One of his hands held her wrist behind his back. I was shocked that this time, he had two arms. The woman hid behind him, holding his shoulders, her mouth and nose pressed against his back. "Sesshomaru, my clothes."

He was an animal and like an animal he knelt down carefully covering his exposed areas with his long white tail. He picked up an orange yukata and handed it to the human behind him. "Sesshomaru," I mocked him. "What happened to the child that used to follow you?"

His eyes bore into us. We began to surround him.

"Go," he said to the human woman, passing her a smaller katana.

"Don't leave," I said to her. "We're here to rescue you!"

"I'm not leaving you," she said to the yokai.

He shoved her back, casually picking up his fundoshi and hikama in the process. She fled into the bushes. "Fujio, Hiro! Follow her!" They ran after her, but were thrown back by a green light coming from the Mononoke's claws.

He howled in rage, eyes turning red much faster than I remembered the last time I met him. We circled him as he tried to run in the direction of the woman. "Halt!" We lit a holy fire around his feet, binding him.

"Go, bring her back. The child must be disposed of," I told Fujio and Hiro as they rose from the ground. They were both injured with gouges down their faces.

His silence was mocking, but anger was apparent. He growled at us, daring us to touch the child that was in the belly of the female he had been laying with. "We'll dispose of you this time too." We circled him, finally closing in. The binding white circle held his feet in place. They were striped and clawed. He roared again trying to escape.

Suddenly I heard screaming from Fujio and Hiro behind us.

We circled the demon, running around him, holding our beads and removing sutras. These were the most powerful from what was left of Master Ungai's sutras. I still had his staff. "Be gone! Yokai!" I yelled, flying into the air, landing a savagery of holy power against him.

The yokai grunted, and groaned. His face turned white. I knew we had him. It would only take moments. Fighting his yoki felt like trying to hike a steep mountain, like breathing underwater. I had never felt such powerful yoki. Not even of the other humanoid demons we had disposed of. He was forced to his knees, one hand gripping the dirt. Sweat beaded from his forehead.

"Your time is ending," I said. Soon he would be nothing but dust.

"Leave him alone!" A rock came flying at me. It hit me in the head, knocking me down, breaking my concentration.

Then a green whip-like light flew from the pregnant female's katana. She raised it into the air, sending shockwaves through us. She slammed it into the legs of the monks binding his feet. My head was on fire. Blood dripped down the side of my face. Was she really a demon in disguise? She jumped and flipped through the air, wielding the demon katana we had failed to notice before. It's aura was similar to the thing in front of us. As she knocked the legs out and threw the monks aside, it weakened our binding.

The demon rose from his knees. As he did, his face changed. A white snout grew. His nose covered in fur. His arms grew into white muscles. He landed a giant white dog in front of us rearing.

I searched for the rock she had used on me. My hand fumbled because it was covered in blood. I threw it at her head, hitting her temple. She cried in pain and fell unconscious, covered in blood.

I knew that was the wrong decision. The demon became feral, howling in rage. He chased after us. I ran for my life. He was too powerful. We lost ten monks that day to the evil beast. He tore them to pieces. He deserves death. I made a note in my scrolls, that if I were to finish Ungai-sama's work, the toxin would need to be strong enough to kill him. I will kill Sesshomaru.

Years later, I finally perfected it. Over the years I caught and trapped many demons to make the toxin. Wisteria seeds cause vomiting. In a large enough quantity, it can make one vomit blood. Japanese Yew makes the body shake. It took time to cultivate enough to spread. I hid it inside of baked goods and found the village where it was rumored that the hanyou we had met lived with his Miko lover. I hid the toxins inside sweet rice and added cedar for fever. In my past experiments, death was not always imminent. The yokai body, even in large quantities will overcome them. It needed to bind itself to their yoki so that it wouldn't hurt humans. I climbed the highest mountain and found a witch. She cursed the seeds to only attack those with strong yoki. I quickly discovered from my experiments, that hanyous were not immune.

The one called Inuyasha took two years to die. It was a gruesome end, but then I discovered he was the brother of this Sesshomaru. It is rumored he hides behind a barrier that we haven't been able to detect. It must spread faster and infect more. I traveled south afterwards. Wolf-demons were seen in larger numbers near the ogres. I went back to the mountain witch and asked her how to ensure that it spreads among the yokai. It has to be like a human illness. She told me to infect a hanyou who is already sick with another illness. I found one that was sick with blisters, his entire family was. The witch followed me, happy to rid herself of the demons in the area. She cursed him that all he would come in contact with would spread the disease. It's working. The ogres are getting sick, the wolves. I will travel North and West next to finish them off. Then leave this country. I will go West to China. The end has come.

**Please review! And while you are at it, go review on Keichanz, Neutronstarchild and on every story you read. Not everyone is good natured like I am about flames. Not everyone can brush it off and not take it to heart. So please, even if you never leave reviews, if you hate leaving them, just say something to your authors right now. This is not a singular attack on this story, all my buddies are taking hits right now. Just say good story, great story, post more etc...Anything...because you will help sound out whatever hate fest is going on right now.**

**Also to all my author friends. There is a setting that allows you to moderate guest reviews. You can also delete them. **

**You can check out:**

**Esther247 A battle Yet Scene**

**Neutronstarchild tons of stories I have not read and a few ar sessrin**

**Keichanz is mostly inukag but a smut queen!**

**Smmahamazing- Cowboy Blues will give you cavities with it's sweetness**

**SpiritedRanger, writing some angsty sessrin**

**Kimmigirl9, cavity worthy sessrin**

**Myravespirit, a new writer to our Sessrin pairing**

**Okay now that I am done gushing! Here we go,**

**Harukasempai14: **Sesshomaru was being a jerk. I'm not even going to try to defend him. Now how much do you hate Yashida?

**Smmamazing: **Thank you for coming to my rescue! Man...seriously I've actually joked about starting a flame thread on tumblr. Ice-T has a dumbfuck of the day award, I'm considering doing the same for these anon's. Sesshomaru totally needs to learn to not shut down and yes the dark years are coming.

**Angeljme: **Thank you! Oh yes...It's interesting that Sesshomaru used intimacy to finally connect with his pain. And I love writing a strong willed Rin that can make her own choices and ask for what she needs.

**Luin-Fanel: **I think I might have your number. I don't cry easily either but damn can I make myself do it when I write. Thank goodness the grumpiness is slowly leaving.

**Papillionrouge: **My love from AO3...I cannot wait for this story to get up on there. I have had much fewer flames on AO3 and then we can have our full on convos about this story!

**New Reader: **Are you sure he never lied to Natsuki? It is an interesting parallel that he loved Rin the most but lied more. Oh I loved this chapter!

**Mechine: **Thank you for the hugs! I know making mister strong sess break down is like...I don't know, intense and brings out my emotions. Thank Goodnss I'm doing better. Just life getting the better of me.

**Esther247: ** Thank you for the gushing compliment. you hav such a way with words that really hits me deep girl and I am so appreciative of. I was going to ignore the flamers but I want to make sure readers spread the love! So many people are taking hits right now against their creativity and it can be so upsetting. I am so glad to provide you with an emotional story :). Now let's get to the promised land.


	51. Sesshomaru-present VII

**AHHHHHHH! I'm ahhing because this is the last chapter for the section of Inferno, which after the fact I should have put in each chapter, so you would know Part 1 is called Inferno but live and learn.**

**I aslo figured why not post it now, before dearest computer goes to the shop. I'm not going to respond to reviews in this chapter because the amount of effort it takes to backspace and hit the E key, like 100 times until the damn thing remembers to work. **

**This will be the last post for TWO WEEKS...I mean dammit...pandemic is making apple run slow and they aren't doing genius bar appointments so I'll just be working on my husband's computer. **

**I'm so close to finishing this story. This is probably the 1/3rd point. Yes I know long but if Resmiranda can make House of the Moon 390,000 words long (600 microsoft pages) I can make this one 250k. Which is about where it's going to land.**

**Guys you know why I love reviews? HOLY RUSTED PLOT HOLE! I never thought about the fact that I said the herbs were cursed to affect only demons and now I must contemplate my original scientific medical cure along with a spiritual one...that's going to be food for thought the next two weeks. **

**Sesshomaru-present**

Mayumi's asleep on his chest by the time he finishes reading the scroll. The front of his hospital gown is soaked in her tears. He strokes her hair, kissing the crown of her head, knowing the pain Mayumi feels. He lost both his parents, one a more brutal death than the other.

He stares down at the text, his throat is hoarse. _It's my fault, _he covers his eyes with shaking hands. He knew that Ungai had trained those beneath him to hate his kind, that a rash of incidents with Monks purifying at random, but he didn't know that he had faced the same monk, twice. He wipes the wetness from beneath his eyes. If the one from five hundred years ago saw who he is now, what he is. He shakes his head and closes his eyes.

_They had gotten into a fight. He had stumbled across a rather unpleasant side effect of her hormones while she was pregnant. He killed a doe that had gotten away from her, but an action he thought should have been endearing sent her fleeing from him in tears. _

_They fought and then as they were making up in the most pleasant way possible, they were ambushed. She didn't want to leave him, but he wouldn't risk her and their unborn child. He protected her modesty before his own. He always did. Rin had a beautiful body, even more so pregnant. It wasn't something he would allow others to gaze upon._

_There was a moment when he was brought to his knees fighting the purifying power. Minutes passed as he strained against the pressure beating against him. He wasn't going to make it, until Rin started taking out the Monks, one by one. They naively assumed she wasn't a threat. _

_It was when she was hit in the head in return and the scent of her blood fled into his senses, he lost control. He transformed, calling on the true extent of his demonic power and slaughtered ten of the fifteen that attacked them. He ripped their heads off, pulled out their insides and when the leader, Yashida tried to lift Rin off the ground with two others, he towered over them, snarling. They fled in terror._

_She was limp on the forest floor, covered in blood. It dripped down her face, over her nose and into her hair. His heart broke, it ached. He feared for the life they had created together, he feared for her. He lowered his head and licked the cut. He lapped at her skin, hoping it would wake her up. She didn't move. The flesh beneath the blood was purple and blue. He continued licking it carefully. His saliva was stronger in his true form than even in his human form. He nuzzled her face with his nose. She groaned rolling slightly. Her hand came up to touch his fur. She pet his snout. The action sent shivers down his spine. He changed back into his humanoid form, lifting her up. "Sesshomaru?" she whimpered, gripping his chest. _

"_I'm here." He kissed her lips as if it would be their last kiss. "I'm here."_

_He took her to the river. He tore a piece of her yukata off and dunked it in the water. He ran it over the cut on her forehead again to wipe the rest of the blood from her skin. Her lids finally parted enough for him to see their color. "It hurts," she couldn't sit up. "The world's spinning."_

"_I told you to run," he rebuked her._

_She shook her head, "they were going to purify you."_

"_You overestimated their strength."_

"_You underestimated them, Sesshomaru. They had you on your knees," she tried to move, but instead vomited into the river. She choked and gagged, her shoulders scrunched together. _

_He rubbed her shoulders until the heaving stopped then dipped the cloth into the water again. He wiped her mouth and helped her rinse the sickness from inside. "You should have run. You risked your life and our child's. Is he okay?"_

"_She is just fine," she massaged her belly. "I think she is."_

"_You will give me a son," he leaned her against his chest, letting her rest._

"_You will accept what I give you." She folded her arms._

"_Next time you will run."_

"_No," she denied him. "I won't let them hurt you."_

"_This Sesshomaru does not need protection from a human female."_

_Those were not the right words. Her eyes brimmed with tears. They fled from her eyes, dripping rivers down her cheeks onto his chest and hers. "Why…why…c….c…c…can't…y…y…you admit…they….I…" She was so distraught she couldn't finish her sentence._

_He laughed at her and that only made it worse. She sobbed harder shaking and shivering against him. He lifted her chin and attempted to silence her with a kiss. She pushed back angry at him, "don't make me raise this baby alone? Please?"_

_It was then he understood. She had feared for his life. She was perhaps the only one that knew that he could be brought down if the foe was the right one. She feared raising their child without him. He feared losing her and the life they made. _

His arms ache to hold her again. He watches the rise and fall of the chest of the feverish Nina. She is Rin, yet she isn't all the same. He wonders how the memories come to her in these dreams. She only remembers him as loving. There were times he wasn't, there were times Rin wasn't. If anything, he was a flawed lover.

He clenches his free hand that isn't weighed down with Mayumi. He misses Rin so much it hurts and now that her soul is back in this world, dying doesn't seem as appealing because she isn't waiting for him in the afterlife.

He strokes his nieces head lovingly. It's almost morning, just a few more hours. The clinic will be closed today. Everyone has some kind of made up family emergency.

"Simple plants," he says to himself. Nina is asleep. He thumbs his chest where the port-a-cath is. The bag is empty. He removes the tubing from his chest, leaving the IV line in. He sets Mayumi down. He knows two of the herbs. He learned herbs from Nobuatsu as the disease spread. There was no time for pride in those days, no time for battles, only time to save lives. He drops the side rail on the bed and stands on wobbly legs. The herbs used caused the vomiting of blood and the seizures they experienced. It was magic that confined it to only affecting those with at least half their bodies full of yoki driven cells. He sets Mayumi down and covers her up. He did make a promise, but he feels like he is on to something. He forces his legs to work.

"Chichiue?" Taka is in her human form. She runs up to him and catches his arm. "You should be sleeping. You didn't rest last night."

"Taka listen to me," he lifts her chin, "care for her. I have an account in the United States. It's under Sessho Rinata. Did you learn to use computers?"

"Yes?"

He reads the confusion in her eyes. "Set up an email. Take one of my business cards. I will forward you enough money to get her a cochlear implant. Will the family she is with adopt her?"

She shakes her head. "I've listened to them at night. The money would stop and they get more because she is disabled…they are sweet to her. They take care of her and love her but they aren't that wealthy. We don't need your money Chichiue. Her insurance will pay for the implant once it's safe for her to have one."

Relief has never felt so good. Taiyomaru must have healed the damage from the burns. The cochlear will allow her to hear. It's all that he could ask for. "When she has recovered, take her home. Don't let her find me again."

"I thought you would be happy to see her!" Taka hugs her father. "You won't last," she cups his chin and presses their foreheads together.

"I know what the Monk did," he says, suddenly full of energy. "There may be a way to reverse the effects on my body." He glances at Nina, sleeping peacefully. Even in her sleep, she looks like Rin. The fever has slowed down. "She deserves a better life than I can give her Taka." He hobbles to her wondering, _are you in there my heart? _He touches her shoulder, just over her heart, searching for their bond. Tendrils of yoki drip from his finger into her body. It's nestled within her chest cavity, latent and barely there. _Oh, my heart. _He leans down and kisses her brow. "Do not allow her to travel here again," the words are lead on his tongue.

"I don't understand…Tsukimaru said that Haha-ue loved you and that if you fell in love with this one it would hurt her!"

"You should know better than that. You know we are only fond of each other. Nothing more," he says but stops. _Did she fall in love with me? _"Taka she isn't Rin. She's Nina Hawthorne." He cups his daughter's chin.

"You aren't going to tell Haha-ue about me are you? I like not being stuck in that house anymore." She laughs, covering her mouth. "You two, trapping me for three centuries."

"It was at your mother's bidding not mine." His legs begin to tremble. "Keep your yoki inward and your scent hidden." He hugs his daughter. "You're going to go into your first heat soon Taka, you remember the symptoms?"

"Sweating, fever, anxiety, increased heart-rate and a feeling of being on fire," she says happily, still the bright child she always was. In a strange way he thinks, she's just like Rin was as a teenager. "Should I contact you? There's no one to be with me…"

"If this works…if what I think will happen comes to pass. I can save Katsumoto," he doesn't regret the suggestion.

"But he's Yuki's."

"You don't need him to bond you, just to relieve the heat when it comes."

"And make a child," she shakes her head at him. "I don't like it Chichiue. She already hates me."

"Then we have nothing to lose." He kisses her forehead. "Do not let her come here again," he says quietly and leaves the room. He limps down a hallway, then opens the door to his office.

"You aren't supposed to be out of bed!" Natsuki screams, storming over to him. "Are you trying to die?"

"No…Haruto, Yoshi, I know the herbs." There are papers strewn over the floor. He sits down on the floor, painfully picking them up. "The disease changed my blood down to the stem cells. I don't have enough to maintain my body any longer, that's why my organs are shutting down and I continue to have seizures. He cursed the herbs he used to only affect those with yoki." He picks up another stack of papers. "My blood in essence is what is killing me."

"You need a bone marrow transplant," Haruto says.

"Exactly," Sesshomaru says as he sits down with the pile of papers strewn on the floor. "These are everyone?"

"All that you have in the office," Haruto sits down next to him, combing a hand through his black hair. "How long do you have Rinata-sama?"

"Days, weeks at most." He winces, holding his chest. It aches like he can't breathe. Both his hearts are racing trying to keep up with the weakness in his body.

"Then we must hurry," Yoshi joins them rifling through the papers. "What are we looking for?"

"Who will match," Haruto quickly speaks. "Does your wife know how to brew coffee?"

"She's not my wife," he spares a glance for Natsuki. "And no."

"Then who is she?" Yoshi asks, picking up the papers.

"More than that," a weak smile crosses his lips as he looks at her. She sits down behind his back and hugs him around the waist. "More than that. Thank you Natsuki," he can feel her yoki flooding his senses, soothing his pain, giving him life. For now.

**End Part One**

**Please Review! Wait...he's seriously sending Nina away? Like he isn't trying to keep her? I guess that would be an odd thing to explain to her parents. The episode with Rin and the doe can actually be found in SessxRin Drabbles, Chapter 12: To Raise a Hanyou**

**Coming next Part II, the Storm**

**Kagome-past**

**Natsuki-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Once dearest computer is fixed, I will post in bulk. Who knows I might have this done, then we'll just have a post-a-thon. If I can figure out how to login to AO3 from my husband's computer, I might catch this story up there too. **

**See you all in two weeks! Will respond to reviews then :) **


	52. Kagome-past VINatsuki-Past IV

**Why not update again? Why? Because I am so freaking excited! **

**My manny took dearest computer to Apple and instead of the 14 day wait I was told, they had the battery in stock and replaced it. If that was not amazing enough, there was a dime size piece of lint underneath my E key. Except I'm still noticing some drag with it, but I definitely don't have to push so hard on it. But...akdfjafioasdkfnasdkfas I have my computer back! Okay, as I'm writing this A/N, I'm actually seeing some issues with the E key...fuck...whatever. I'll wait for it to get really bad again. I could also be just warming it up.**

**Anyway, this chapter is honor of that taking hours instead of weeks! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!**

**You all want to save Taka and Yuki right? I may just listen, if you give me good ideas. So...if you were going to resolve Taka's heat, what would you do? It has to result in a pureblooded child being born. I may or may not listen. **

**Fuck it, I'm so happy, I squishing two into one :)**

*******Super big important announcement*** coughs and gets on top of a pedestal. The amazing Esther247, interviewed me for a podcast :) I am so excited about this! It should be dropping today or tomorrow. Her podcast is called Body of an Extrovert. You should be able to find it on Apple Podcast app thing and I think a few other platforms. I may need to ask her.**

**And before I forget. Sesshomaru isn't asking Katsumoto to bond with Taka just fuck her...and we still haven't heard how Katsumoto feels about this.**

**Kagome-past**

The Third Year of the Disease

She helps Nobuatsu wrap the arm of a child who fell and broke it. In the modern world, she learned how to set small breaks. She did rotations in many different units on purpose while passing her clinicals for nursing. She spent half a year in pediatrics, studied under orthopedic doctors and even spent time in plastics to master the art of stitching. She is a collector of medical knowledge. As she wraps the arm, her stomach clenches. It's coming and she knows it. Soon this village will be overrun with the ill and no matter what she asked him in the future, he never told her the cure.

She finishes lacing the arms, using bamboo sticks to keep it still. The child smiles at her as he hops off the counter top to his mother's waiting arms. "Thank you!" The woman bows to her. She's human, like many of the females. It's more common for demon males to be with humans than the other way around.

"That is an ingenious trick," Nobuatsu praises her. His tone is as deep as Sesshomaru's but softer and kinder. "The child would have healed eventually. Like that, he won't suffer deformities."

"I was happy to help," she says, happily. She's been there for a year. The first months she refused to leave her room, sobbing and crying. At night Taisho would drag her from her bed and force her to walk through the forest with him and they would tell stories about Inuyasha. She visited Sota and Sayako once and they came to Sesshomaru's home once. Every few months, she and her son visit the village and try to open the well. It continued to reject her. Deep in her heart, she knew why, fate didn't want the yokai to escape from what was happening. She had already heard rumors of ill demons from all directions. Jaken left months before to help his people with herbs from Nobuatsu and seeds to cultivate in a garden to help his people. There would be no escaping.

Shiori knocks on the door. "Umo, Miko-sama?"

Kagome smiles leaning down. Shiori looks exactly the same as the day they first met. It's odd treating her as a child when they are only seven years apart, but Shiori's demon blood keeps her from aging like a regular child. "What is it?"

"Ka-chan…" the girl's eyes glaze over lightly. "She stopped breathing."

Kagome and Nobuatsu need no more words. She grabs the child's hand and they run out of the hut, through the orchard that is blooming as the summer months approach and to the hut on the other side of the lake. Shizu liked her solitude. Rin is already there performing CPR with her children tagging along behind her. Kagome falls on her knees next to Rin. She checks for a pulse and shakes her head. She holds Rin's hand. "Let her go. She was old." She raises a blanket over the woman.

Shiori sobs and runs. Yuki chases after her. Harutoga and Taiyomaru follow their sister who are all shadowed by Katsumoto. "She asked me, before she lost consciousness," Rin wipes her eyes. "If you would take in Shiori."

"Me? I'm not going to live long enough…I'm already nearing forty. When will she stop being a child?"

"In another century." Nobuatsu kneels down touching the woman's wrist. "I will summon men to bury her."

"See, clearly it should be you and Sesshomaru." She suddenly realizes she has overstepped, revealing information Rin will not discover for years.

"I'm not going to live long enough and I don't know if Sesshomaru would take in a child that isn't his," Rin answers then laughs, "well besides me. Nobuatsu, are you connected to Atsuko?"

"You mean spiritual bonds?" he asks her.

"Kami, I miss ours," Kagome says, although she bites back the need to start crying. It's been a year since she lost Inuyasha. She won't cry again. She can't. There are no tears left for her to shed for her dead lover.

"You could feel it?" Rin is clearly shocked.

"Most of the time," Kagome smiled. "Especially when he was happy, when he smiled. I could feel his love for me."

"I can't feel ours unless he shares it with me," Rin exhales.

Nobuatsu lifts Shizu's body up. "We have our own connection. Each species of demon, because of our yoki, we reach out to those that touch our souls. There is a connection, but it's not as intimate as the ones between dog-demons and their lovers. I go to bury her. Send Shiori to me, when she has returned."

"It's coming isn't it?" Rin asks.

"How much did he tell you?"

"Just that the children were going to get sick soon, but that was years ago."

"You know what soon means to one that is going to live forever. Kami, I want to kill him." She covers her face. "Why couldn't he just tell me that Inuyasha would die? I could have been looking for the monks responsible."

"I wish I knew." Rin comforts the older woman. "He's coming back tonight." The eagerness is missing from Rin's voice.

"It's not the same is it?" Kagome asks her. "He's different somehow."

"He's colder," Rin shivers. "We don't spend time together, not like we used to. He spends his time locked inside of his study, reading those books you gave him. There are so many rumors, Kagome-sama. It's coming isn't it?"

"Yes," she says. "I don't know when. But when it does Rin-"

"Kagome-sama." Hisato ducks his head into the hut where the two women are speaking. "You need to come with me quickly. Now." He doesn't let Kagome catch her breath. He grabs her around the waist. "Rin-sama, stay with Sato until I return."

Kagome is hoisted around the waist and flown through the air before she can stop him. He lands just outside the barrier where a pack of wolves are waiting with Sota and Sayako. Sayako holds a red skinned child in her hands. "No," Kagome covers her mouth, "Hisato stay back."

"Why?"

She stops, knowing that the nature of illnesses, epidemiology are unknown. She grabs Hisato by the arm and says, "please? Just trust me? If you don't, you might get sick too." She knows what it is before Sayako puts the child down in front of her. She touches his forehead. He burns with fever. It's then she sees that Sayako is sweating. "Sota what happened?"

"A peddler came through selling treats," Sota answers her. "Then everyone got sick. We set out with twenty, we're all that's left. Ka-san, please. Tatsuo is so sick."

"He's dehydrated." Kagome touches the skin on his hands, noting how dry they are. "I need to make him a broth. Sayako you too?" The little boy is covered in sores up to his belly, pus leaks from the open blisters.

"My head hurts. I'm burning…and," she removes the furs from her feet. The soles are blistered and angry. "Save my son, please?"

She nods. "Hisato, I need a space no one else can get to or we risk exposing the entire village."

"I don't understand," he comes forward.

"God dammit Hisato!" Kagome screams at him. "Stay back. I don't have time to explain now, listen to me! I don't know if it's airborne or if it's bloodborne. He never told me…" she starts hyperventilating. She can't breathe. First her husband, now her grandson. Her chest aches, her heart races, the world turns black. "I need…I can't…" She collapses.

**Natsuki-past**

She can't take it anymore. There are too many rumors, too much anxiety coming to and from the castle. Her father has already sent word that the numbers of sick have raised. He has been begging her to force Sesshomaru to be with her again. He knows about the black stone, what he doesn't know is that it was made by Hosenki II. It requires spiritual power and Sesshomaru is in steady supply of the right allies. She doesn't have to swear on it. Somehow the stone knows that because of her bond to him, she cannot do him harm and that means that she will not touch Rin either or their children. But she can't take it anymore. She knows he is there in the meeting. She listens outside the door. "wW had an agreement, Kensaku," Sesshomaru states clearly. "You will not send a force to my home. If you do they will meet their end. I offered you sanctuary should the time come and the monks continue their attacks."

"It's not the Monks! The illness is running rampant in the West! What started as a few cases is spreading and you sit comfortably behind that barrier!" Her father roars across the room.

"And my mother sits comfortably in this castle. You do not threaten her!" Sesshomaru scoffs. She can hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"I know when I am outmatched."

Natsuki cringes. She knows Sesshomaru's temper, that was one of the dumbest things her father could have said, to question his strength. She can hear his weapon unsheathing, the yoki on the other side is rising. It's intoxicating. She digs her nails into the wall to avoid opening it. A blast of energy slams into the wall. Her father is cringing, she can smell his charred flesh. "Pathetic," Sesshomaru laughs, then the door opens.

She jumps out of the way as he exits. She gulps as he turns on her. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" she was bold when she first met him. Now he makes her nervous, his scent sends her into a tizzy. She can hardly get her sentences straight. She swallows, "I'm scared…please?"

He rolls his eyes, takes her by the hand and leads her back to his room. She follows like she is a child about to get in trouble. He shuts the door behind him and takes her to his bed, "lay down."

Her breath quickens when he climbs in behind her. She slides into the center of the bed and closes her eyes. His breath is on her neck. "What if it comes here? This illness…"

"It won't," he says firmly, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"You don't know that." She turns over to face him. His eyes are like honey. She licks her lips staring at his mouth. "What if it does?" She reaches out, cupping his face. His lips brush against her fingers.

"It won't." He cups her face and leans his lips in.

She breaths in as their mouths touch. She allows herself to be lost inside the vortex of swirling energy between the two of them. "What do I do if it does?"

He rests his forehead against hers visibly shaken. His brows wrinkles, he grunts uncomfortably. "She's calling me. Listen to me Natsuki. When one is sick with a fever, they need to drink, even if it makes them sick and try to remain cold. If you get sick…if Tsukimaru becomes ill, you both must drink and drink often. Nobuatsu used a concoction of herbs for the blisters. Clay," he closes his eyes as if he is thinking, "mint, garlic, salt, chamomile for the pain."

"Will you come if I get sick?"

"Why would I?"

"Your son?"

"I will take him back to my home," his frosty words send shivers down her spine. "We kissed Natsuki, it means nothing. My heart is with her. I must go now."

Then he leaves and she can't stop her heart from racing. _What if it comes here? _She goes to find Tsukimaru. She needs to hold her son for fear of losing him too soon.

**Please Review! Now the Disease begins in earnest on the past timeline. OOOOOOOOO okay, now to respond to all reviews :) I really wish this site was more like AO3. It's much easier to reply in tandem with the comments coming in than it is this way. But I love it anyway!**

**Next up: Sesshomaru Past**

**Yuki-Past**

**Rin-Past**

**Recommendation story of the day is Kagome's Fateful Choice. It's really good. By Neutronstarchild :)...I might even update fire and Ice, I'm so giddy!**

**Okay okay responses:**

**Smmahamazing: **You know I still have to look to see how to spell your handle? Mayumi is hilarious with Natsuki. In Instinct they met her in the worst possible way ever and in my head she's a hurt fifteen year old who just got told she can't see her mom until she's 25. HEHE so you like long stories eh? I partially don't want to finish this, because I don't want to be done, yet I can't start anything new until I do...so...I think Rin would adore Taka, even if she's the product of Natsuki/Sess. How could she not. Taka is so her own person.

**Itzatakashi: **I agree, dick move. But Sesshomaru is so desperate to save what's left of his kind and they are on the brink of extinction. And yes, Yashida, how it all began. Imagine how the hate of one person can cause so much destruction.

**Luin-Fanel: **I know...I can't remember what my inspiration for building Yashida's racism was. I wanted Ungai to be outright bigoted, because he was in the anime but his followers are more groomed to be that way. I would put Ungai and Yashida with Hitler. It's one thing to have a superiority complex, quite another to cause the death of others as a result of it.

**Mechine: **You probably shake the way I shake when I see reviews land. I literally sit there going oooh is it gonna be good or are people going to want to kill me? Usually it's good, but there are times. HAHA I know people are not going to understand Sesshomaru's reasonings. In order to do that you have to step away from your initial gut reaction and get inside his head. How do we save species from extinction. If we can freak out about a fish in the ocean being the last of their kind why not in this situation too? Okay it's not quite the same because fish don't feel the same way humanoid beings do...so it might be a stretch, but that should get you somewhat into his head. If you have an idea to save her I'm all ears. For the record, he doesn't hate his children. He loves them, but he also separates himself from that love to do what he must which is part of why he has such a hard time facing who he is.

**Harukasempai14: **Okay I must argue your Hitler point, especially because I am Jewish and I'll tell you a secret, we do not encourage marrying outside our own. Especially after the holocaust. But the other thing is, no matter how evil you think Sesshomaru is for this, he isn't out trying to kill others, just repopulate his species. And there is literally no one else to be with Taka. True she could be with a human, and have a hanyou but that just means their bloodlines would eventually be bred out. So I say not Hitler. Elitist maybe, but that has more to do with saving his kind than thinking he is better. Someone has to make the hard choices. It's him. I have yet to watch Naruto. I'm not sure I can sit through 600 episodes. I like short series these days. I'm currently watching Clannad. It has not made me cry...yet...

**Dragonrose78: **Oh now you see...more drama! He has not told her yet and now he has done this with Natsuki? What is this man thinking? Oh gosh if it does happen it will be during an argument, because I literally get sick pleasure out of making these two can just gush all you want. or leave multiple reviews for this review whore writer over here. HEHE you shall see. I think all of Rin's kids know it's her.

**Angeljme: **Yep, herbs and witchcraft. But it transmits like bacteria. I love all those episodes you mentioned. They are among my faves. And I agree with the memories. He knows right now he has nothing to offer but heartache and Nina is 15. A 15 year old 21st century girl is different than a 15 year old Feudal Japan Teen who experienced way more life at that point.

**Newreader: **HAHA I know right? Yashida was a victim as much as he was an aggressor but in the end what he did was wrong. I'm not sure how much in the past, besides hating her. But now? He's totally trying to lie to her, not telling her about Taka and Nina. Yes, Sesshomaru does mean to breed Taka off to Katsumoto...like total breederness. I think when he promised Rin, he didn't understand the concept of emotional baggage. And he has a lot.

**Kimmigirl9: **I think you are doomed to cry from now on.

**Reaper007: **Ouch...he isn't trying to end the world, just save his people.


	53. Sesshomaru-past XI

**I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs because the disease is finally here. When I was writing this part back in January, we were just getting glimpses of COVID. Now I can compare Sesshomaru to current leadership but whatever we name this illness is so much more deadly and has a higher mortality rate sooo... **

**Fair warning this story gets even more intense/dark from here on out. Read with caution. Think of Rogue One.**

**Without further ado or todo:**

**Sesshomaru-past**

He flies through the sky from his mother's home to his own. The air is becoming warm again. The summer months are always filled with celebrations. More children are born in the summer but his mind is on his conversation with Natsuki. What if it makes it all the way to his mother's castle in the sky? What will they do then? If Tsukimaru gets sick, he's just a baby, how long would he last? He has several books from Kagome's time, one on childbirth, one on diseases and their treatments with footnotes written by her brother. A list of hand written notes he hasn't sorted through rests in a locked drawer in his study. He tried to aid when Inuyasha was sick, but herbs are not his specialty. His specialty is death, not life. His chest tightens as he flies.

Rin is in the village not the house. She is worried about something. Smelling Tatsuo, Sayako and Sota, ill and distraught and the leftover stench of death that was once Shizu tells him why she is worried.

Nobuatsu stands on the other side of the lake, far away from the stench of illness wafting from Shizu's hut. "What's going on?" he asks the horse demon.

"It's your nephew. His lover and child are ill, blisters, fever," the horse demon runs a hand through his hair. "We aren't prepared for this. If it spreads…"

"Stay here." His mind is racing. He can smell the illness, the same stink that had emanated off his brother's body. He flies over the lake and lands by the door. He knocks, seeing Kagome leaning over his nephew. Taisho is in the hut, voices are low. They are not prepared if this spreads. He has read much of the book on epidemiology since receiving it, but many of the high tech words used, he doesn't understand. They don't have microscopes and ways of testing microbes and counting parts per million. They can't scrape surfaces or observe biomes. They can only fight for life.

"Sesshomaru, stay back!" the Miko yells.

A sting enters his nose, like sake, but not the kind that humans drink. She pours it over her hands as she exits the hut. "Sayako and Tatsuo are sick," she pulls him aside, "O-ni-sama…did you ever finish the book I gave you?"

"I've read it several times." He turns to the lake staring at the clean waters, water that could spread the illness to everyone in the village if they drink from it, but the river. _Already contaminated._

"This is only the beginning," the Miko joins him. "I don't know how it's spread, not yet. We have to keep our hands clean. You shouldn't go in there. You could spread it. Kami, I'm so scared." She pivots quickly and flies into his chest. He holds his arm outwards, stiff. They do not usually have this kind of intimate contact. She shakes against him crying. "Tatsuo is throwing up blood. It's just like Inuyasha but it didn't spread then. Shippo saw him, you saw him. It's spreading now. Something changed. The weather's getting warmer. I can't keep him cool."

He's silent as she wails against him. The Miko has experienced too much sadness. He finally lowers his arms to wrap around her. He has never felt her hair. It's not smooth like Rin's. It's thick and wavy. It gathers around her waist. He lets his nose fall on top of her head and breathes in her scent, gently stroking her back. There are no words he can think of. He can see Tatsuo from inside the hut. The boy's entire body is red. Blisters cover him up to his torso, his hikama are soiled with blood and pus. It drips in rivers down the corners of his eyes.

"What if he dies? Will Tenseiga work? He's part human," she cries against him.

He wonders himself, would Tenseiga allow him to bring the child back? Would he be whole? _What is going on? Yokai don't get sick_. He lifts her chin, intent on leaving only for her hand to tangle into the back of his hair and suddenly Kagome's lips are on his. The second his eyes open fully, he sees Rin standing with a pail of water. Her bottom lip trembles. Sesshomaru pushes Kagome off him. She wipes her mouth. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

The Miko is cut off by Rin's upturned palm flying against her face. It lands so hard that the Miko ends up on the grass by the lake, blood drips from a fattened lip. "I can't believe you," Rin says to her, "I can't believe after Natsuki you would do something like that!" She glares at Sesshomaru. "And you…you won't even touch me and you comfort her?" She drops the pail of water and flees.

He lifts the Miko off the ground, licking his thumb in the process, then rubs it along the fattened bleeding lip. "You will not do that again." He knows she understands he means with the kiss. "Ever." Rin will have to be placated later. He will find a way to save his tiny nephew. "Sota," he calls. The Miko lifts the water into the hut.

Sota's eyes are red as he leaves the hut, his face gaunt.

"Do you know how you were infected?"

"It's not me. I'm not sick." His hands are shaking.

"You were around those ill?" Sesshomaru questions him.

"I've been around them all, cleaned up after them. I'm not sick. We…there was a peddler. I'm so stupid O-ji-sama. A peddler came, I don't remember his name, but I did remember his face. He was the same one that sold treats in the village where Ka-san used to live. He came south. We bought his sweet rice. After two weeks Sayako and Tatsuo started feeling ill. So did everyone else, but then it spread, even to the ones that hadn't eaten the food he sold."

"How long ago was that?"

"Two months. Tatsuo, he's so sick. Once the vomiting begins, there's only…days," he breaks down falling on his knees. "I can't lose my son," he covers his eyes and begins to cry.

Sesshomaru kneels down next to him, a hand on his shoulder. "Keep them cold. Put them in the lake, the water will help," he pauses. In one of the books he read, he knows that disease can be spread through the water. Their lake is isolated. "No the river," he says, then wonders to himself, _how can we chill them? _"The river water will already be contaminated," his mouth dries. Water is regularly drawn from the river to sustain the village. It's only a matter of time.

"Sota, how long does it last? From start to finish?"

"It depends, for some weeks, others months. Sayako has been eating herbs to help with the fever."

"Stay with your lover." He flies to the other side of the lake, landing next to Nobuatsu. "We need to begin cultivating herbs that will stop a fever and treat the blisters. Tadashi!" he yells at the top of his lungs.

The white haired sentinel comes only seconds later. "Yes Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Send an emissary to the fox demons. Send for Shippo," he knows the fox child can make their garden grow faster. He can inseminate seeds that would not grow on their own in greater numbers than if left to grow naturally.

"I will begin tilling more patches of land," Nobuatsu says quickly.

"Find Rin, she will help you."

"Sesshomaru-sama, Shiori's mother died today," Nobuatsu says quietly. "The child will need someone to care for her."

He closes his eyes. The village has not been around long enough to deal with orphans and an orphaned hanyou outside his barrier, no one would care about. "Can you take her in?"

"My home is already full, but I will speak to Atsuko." The horse demon moves to the empty plots of land around the lake.

"Sato?" He sees Hisato's brother patrolling the village.

The black haired demon walks over to him. "Yes?"

"I go south. Inform my family I do not know when I will be returning. Do not allow any on the other side of the lake into Shizu's hut. Sota is there with his lover and child. They have the illness." He doesn't allow emotion to touch his words. "Tell the villagers to only take water from the lake."

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Sato asks, brows pinched together in confusion.

"It's here," he says, his hands feel like they are on fire. "Send a message north to Koga and inform him that his sister is sick. Find my children and move them back to the house. Tell them they aren't allowed to leave," he pauses thinking of the child that now has no mother or father. "Take Shiori to my home."

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama," Sato flies into the air.

"Where are you going Onisama?" Kagome asks him.

"We need to chill the village, Touma's halberd? Did you purify it or seal it?"

"Seal it…you have to be careful going there. Do you remember how to protect yourself? The way germs are transmitted?"

He closes his eyes. He's done nothing but read in the last three years since his brother died. Battle has been scarce, but Inuyasha's death has plagued him. He has read the same book over and over and come up blank. "Cover the mouth, wash the hands. The river is already contaminated. While I am away, you and Rin will prepare the village. The barrier will be opened for all who are sick. You will service the ill. Find an area to seclude them." In modern times they called it isolation, but he didn't have the materials needed to make a ward for only those who were sick. "Do not let my children back into the village. Make peace with Rin." It's all he can manage to say before he flies into the skies. They will need a stronger sake to sterilize their hands, for that he knows where to go. There will be no sleep as he journeys.

Touma's halberd will freeze the village slowing the fever, if he can find it.

**Please review! Well shit, it seems like everyone wants to kiss him...I completely forgot that Kagome/Sess kiss was in this chapter. But things are so intense! **

**Coming Next: Yuki-past**

**Rin-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**I am almost done writing this story. As soon as it is, be prepared for lightning posts. I will just want to get the rest up for everyone to enjoy! **

**Kimmiglrl9: **I know. I started writing this in September last year. Around about anyway and it's just nuts because I did not think while writing it, we would be in the middle of a pandemic.

**Smmahamazing:** Nope, we needed a celebratory chapter for my computer. Kagome has been at Sesshomaru's for a year now. The 10 year process started with Inuyasha falling ill. I think I made the mistake of writing this in such a way it's better read start to finish...but my schedule this year didn't allow me to turn it out like my other stories.

**Itzatakahashi:** You know people ask me that about Rin. Liking or not liking characters has nothing to do with writing a good story. Also if Tatsuo dies, it's not just Kagome it's going to effect, Rin, Sesshomaru, Sota and Sayako, Koga, Inukag kids, sessrin kids. It would be more of a collective tragedy.

**Reaper007:** Someone has to make the hard choices. Sadly the task falls on Sesshomaru's shoulders and the shoulders of others of similar power to keep their kind from going extinct. It's interesting people will cry over a mollusk in the ocean going extinct, make breeding programs to bring back polar bears from the brink but a demon trying to save his kind, no way.

**Mechine:** Oh trust me when this baby is done, you'll be like what's going on? Chapter after Chapter after Chapter? It's possible there could be someone else. But then my husband and I talked about my secret plans and he is like wow that is really meaningful...so we'll see what happens. Um so that smallest kiss. Kagome I think just set Rin off.

**New Readerx2:** YAY! Chapters! It's basically only sex with a warm body will fix their heat. If there was another way to alleviate it he would. So we shall see what happens and I agree he is being a jerk, but I think this poor guy is also burnt out. His species is being attacked, they are on their death beds, how much can one man take?

**angeljme:** Yep, Sesshomaru basically doesn't know what would happen if he changes the past.

**Gina:** WOW thank you so much! That is such an amazing compliment :). I literally shared it on my social media platforms. I am so glad I was able to make your day brighter.

**Luin-fanelx2:** I think Yuki and Katsumoto have 3 all girls. If I remember it's in the last chapter of Instinct. I really had to pair down the cast because there are so many moving parts and if I left too many in I would get confused. The only pure blooded males left are Katsumoto, Sesshomaru, Tsukimaru and Taka. So since Katsumoto and Taka aren't related...well...Natsuki has probably been in love with him for a long time.

**Warriorhawk:** *snorts* because that would defeat the purpose of the story.


	54. Yuki-Past IVRin-Past IX

**Okay...not even gonna start an AN because this thing has not been working. Let's see if this works.**

**Also will respond to reviews on the next chapter because I've had to reload this sooo many times.**

**Yuki-past**

She finds her friend's scent outside the barrier. Her brothers are with her this time. She knows she's not allowed to cross the bright blue line without someone following her, not after what happened last time. She hasn't dared. "Katsumoto?" she calls her guard. She is sure he is somewhere nearby. "You two can't come with me."

"Yuki the last time you left alone you were almost killed," Harutoga is no longer the timid boy he was in his youth. He's fourteen now and has learned to fight as well as she has. He can call his whip from both his hands and Taiyomaru seems to be developing more of his uncle's traits. He can throw white and red blades from his hands but has also dokkasu and a whip. He can glide higher than they both can and oddly when he is angry, even for a child, his yoki can choke a room.

"Katsumoto?" she calls again, trying to see if her damned guard is anywhere nearby. "This isn't good. She wasn't supposed to go by herself. Okay we go, but we mask our yoki. If we find any monks, Taiyomaru, you and Harutoga keep them back okay?" She knows what to do. Chichiue spent months teaching them after that day she was attacked.

They trail behind her as they leave the barrier. She sniffs the air finding her way through the grass and fields. The forest is thick around the barrier. It's plentiful in deer and other wildlife that feed their village. "She's near the river," Taiyomaru says as they make their way quietly through the forest. She can smell it too. Shiori smells like maple leaves with sap stuck to them.

"She's crying," Harutoga adds.

"Duh idiot, her mother just died." Yuki jumps over a large rock into the branches of a tree. She swings from branch to branch rather than walking to avoid leaving tracks. A part of her wonders how old she'll be when her mother dies too. Ka-san is human after all.

Her brothers follow and after several minutes of swinging and jumping they find the bat hanyou on her knees next to the raging river. Yuki approaches her first, resting a hand on her shoulder. Her friend can't speak. She only falls into Yuki's arms crying. "What happens to me now?"

"You can stay at our house," Yuki offers. Their house is big and there is always extra space. She dreams about kicking Hisato out of the room that used to be Jaken's. But then she remembers how quiet it's been without the imp there. He never came back after he left. She suddenly feels very cold and afraid.

"Yuki someone's coming." Harutoga's hand glow with the power of his whips.

Shiori wipes her eyes. "Get behind me." Her hands raise and they covered in one of her barriers. "They won't be able to get through this."

"I know this smell." Taiyomaru steps forward. His feet are bare as they crunch against the dirt of the forest. "It's Jaken and other Kappi. They're sick."

"How can you smell that?" Harutoga asks him.

Yuki only rolls her eyes. "Why did you get all the gifts?"

Suddenly Taiyomaru is soaring into the air, high in the sky. Shiori extends the barrier to cover him. Yuki covers her mouth in shock, Harutoga sits down and then Sato is outside their tiny barrier. "You need to come with me now. You too Shiori. You will join the children in their home."

**Rin-past**

Jaken comes marching up to the barrier with a horde of Kappi. His face is tinged in pain, so unlike the jolly, green imp that graced their home for the last ten years. He carries with him many of his kind, some are on stretchers, too raspberry red from the disease tearing their bodies apart to stand. Rin covers her mouth and her eyes, not knowing where she should take them. He waits outside the barrier for her to approach. His eyes are downcast and his hands shake on Nintojo. "Jaken!" Rin calls and runs to him. She leaves the barrier with Hisato trailing behind her. "What happened?"

"This…these were the ones that could travel. We were too sick to grow the herbs. I…we need help," he says sadly.

She never knew where his kind came from. One night after making love, she asked Sesshomaru when his friendship with Jaken began. The dog-demon insisted that they were not friends and that he had no fond feelings for the imp that worshipped the ground Sesshomaru walked on. In the end, she learned that Jaken and his people had been fighting a powerful demon that was slaughtering his people. The demon happened to be in the way of Sesshomaru who dispatched of it in one fell hit. After that, Jaken abandoned his people to follow Sesshomaru and the rest from there was history. Deep down she knows that her lover does feel fondly for the imp and Sesshomaru will be devastated when he returns. More than he already is.

"Sato didn't tell you when he would return?" she asks her loyal guard.

"No," Hisato hangs back, refusing to come closer.

"Are you scared?" She laughs at him.

"Kagome-sama said something about getting too close and then getting sick," he inches back to the barrier. "It seems humans are immune to whatever this is. Send them to the fields near Shizu's hut where Sota and his family already reside."

"Don't be so scared," she laughs knowing that Sesshomaru will find the cure. It's somewhere locked in his mind. _But why couldn't he just tell me? Is Jaken going to die? Shippo? Akari? _She spares a glance at her proud inu-yokai guard who has lived for so long an outcast among his people,_ Hisato?_

She shakes the thoughts out. There's no time. She needs to move these youkai into the barrier. This much yoki will attract unwanted visitors before long and they've managed to remain hidden. She leans over and shoulders one of the litters that is carrying two sick Kappi demons and starts hauling it into the barrier. She leads them slowly to the grasses on the other side of the lake. They will need shelters built from the rains and water to drink. "Jaken, just get everyone comfortable. I'll send for the villagers to make small huts for the sick. Are you ill?"

She has never seen Jaken's face like this before. It's downcast, black eyes are darker than she has seen them in the past, if that is even possible. He is normally full of complaints and is now quiet and subdued. "Not yet," he wipes tears from his eyes. "Rin," he hugs her knees because he can't reach any higher.

She falls on her knees next to him and for the first time since they met, she is the one that provides comfort.

Hours later the area is swarmed with demons, hanyous and humans building huts for the ill. She asked that three be built before night falls. They keep the materials stored in piles inside a larger hut so that when new families come they have somewhere to live. The planks are precut with a stone edifice that keeps thatching for the roof dry, surprisingly that was Sesshomaru's idea. There were times he would find Rin wet and shivering inside of Kaede-sama's hut and complain that she was not being properly cared for.

The final hut is almost finished after hours of work. "What are you doing?" Kagome asks.

"They need somewhere to live," she quips and walks away. The younger woman is still exasperated with the elder one. "This is my home." She'll use rank and standing to remind the Miko of the kindness that has been extended to her.

"You can't do it like this, they could get sick," the Miko turns on Rin in a fury. "Why didn't you ask me before you did this? You've exposed everyone!"

"What are you talking about?"

"No, stop! Everyone stop!" she yells at them, waving her hands in the air to get the attention of the demons and humans building the shelters.

"They need to finish!" Rin rebukes her. "Continue, she," icy glares pass between the two, "is not in charge here. I am. This is my home remember? Or have you forgotten along with who Sesshomaru belongs to!?"

"You should have asked me," Kagome pants out. "You have no idea how diseases are transmitted. It could be airborne and now they've all breathed it in!"

"And if it is, then why did you invite your son here?"

"Don't you dare!" Pain flashes through her eyes.

"Dare what? I'm not the one trying to replace a dead lover with his brother!"

Kagome's hand comes up to strike Rin's cheek, but is easily blocked. Rin twists the wrist behind Kagome's back, until Kagome cries in pain. The Miko pushes back attempting to throw Rin on the ground, only for the younger woman to shift her weight and Kagome slams side first into the ground and hisses in pain. She barely has a second to think before Rin's foot connects with Kagome's stomach.

Taisho comes running from the hut of his brother and sick nephew, "Obasan! Ka-san, stop it!" He tries to grab Rin by the shoulders only for Hisato to grip his shoulder and force him back.

"No," Hisato growls at him. "Let them settle it."

"Get your hands off my son!" Kagome's spiritual power hurricanes in the air. It swirls a pink torrent around her body and flings Hisato into the lake, while she rolls away from Rin's fists.

Hisato splashes head first into the shallow rocks grunting in pain, splitting his head open.

Suddenly a knife is to Kagome's throat. "If you think of doing that within my village again, you will pay," Rin doesn't recognize her own voice. It's cold and dark and so many things that she doesn't have words for.

"Rin-sama." A white hand covers hers gripping the knife. Nobuatsu stands behind her, the voice of reason in the madness. "More death will not solve this."

For a moment she hates the horse-demon because he is correct. Everyone is staring at them like they are crazy. The work has stopped and the field is quiet. She lowers the knife and releases her friend.

"If Sesshomaru were here, he would say the same thing," Kagome pleads with her. She's worse for the wear with yellow grass in her hair and a bruised cheek.

"Because you know him so well? Or is this some special connection the two of you have made because he likes learning about medicine from your time? Is that your goal? To lure him with knowledge?"

"Rin stop it! I'm sorry okay? It was wrong," tears line the sides of her cheeks. "I shouldn't have kissed him. My grandson is sick okay, and my son's wife…" she wipes her cheeks trying to keep the tears in, "Inuyasha."

Then Rin remembers his words, _I will get very sick. _Soon she will see her own lover covered in this rash and debilitated. Her bottom lip shivers, she falls on Kagome's shoulders, crying. She cries for Inuyasha, for her nephew, for the dark days ahead. They sob against each other, unable to stop.

"Women," Hisato mutters as he shakes the lake water off his body.

"Sorry Hisato," Kagome cringes as she is stared down.

Blood seeps from an injury in his head.

"Ka-san," Taisho whispers taking his mother's arm, "it's Tatsuo…"

**Please Review!**


	55. Sesshomaru-Present VIII

**Well...so that last chapter. Forgive me for not responding to reviews. Basically what happened is I put it up and then Itzatakahashi and Kimmigirl let me know there was an error. So I tried again and it did it again. And I tried to reload the right doc and it put up Chapter 47's doc again. So then I deleted the whole damn doc reviews responses and all and the damn thing still did not load correctly. So then I thought, hey, let's try putting the doc onto one of my other stories and it loaded correctly. So it was literally an error with this story and this story alone.**

**SO ANNOYING!** **So in the end, I emailed support to get it fixed and I was too exhausted to type responses. Not to mention my keyboard isn't working still and because my mac is old, they'd have to take off the whole top and they said that would cost 500.00 and they won't be servicing this model that much longer anyway...so I had to get a bluetooth keyboard from Target so let's just say...it was eventful and I bleh.**

**So I am going to be extremely lazy and not respond again. There are 18 reviews between the last 2 chapters, so I am going to go with themes.**

**Is Kagome in the wrong? Most likely. Just remember she is in an extreme amount of guilt right now. Her husband died, her grandson is sick, she was separted from her daughters, she is not feeling herself. It was stupid but when emotions are running high, we all do dumb things.**

**Sesshomaru being an ass? Yes..but from here on out, he is faced with doing what is right by Rin or making sacrifices to save his species. This concept is not something to understand unless you have some basic concept of genocide and the sacrifices people make to survive and when the whole becomes more important than the individual. That's part of why I love this story, because it's not a love story.**

**Many couples during the Holocaust ended up divorced because spouses didn't agree with hiding Jews. But then you have to ask who is in the wrong? The spouse who couldn't accept it? If they really loved them wouldn't they? Isn't it possible they loved them but were too scared.**

**So while reading this story, I'm going to ask you keep your eyes open for those kinds of questions. He loves Rin but at what point does the whole become more important than the individual. **

**Pushing Nina away...yep...he did...why? Because he doesn't want her to get attached to him when he's on his death bed. So in a way he looks like he is being cruel, but he wants her to live her life, not be bound to someone who may not last. **

**Katsumoto/Taka/Yuki...well I just wrote this part and I'm not saying what I did but it was so damn beautiful I cried for three days. And no Sess and Tsuki aren't going to. That is real inbreeding. Katsumoto is not related.**

**Youkai heat in my stories happens once every century. They cannot get pregnant except for when they are in heat. This inspiration came from the mating habits of Polar Bears. Half the reason their species is going extinct is because they only reproduce every 12-15 years! I found that out when an older female bear as brought in to mate with a younger male bear at our zoo. It was kind of funny, because bred in captivity the poor boy didn't know what he was supposed to do. So she would go into heat and swing her tush in his face and he'd be like, what am I supposed to do with that? LOL...**

**Sesshomaru's fond behavior towards Natsuki. Like it or not, she has sustained his life for decades and he's not a vindictive a-hole. He appreciates what she's done for him. She gave him two children and they are friends. So...yes she means a lot to him, love? No. **

**Please if you have any questions that weren't resolved with this, say it again in a review and I shall respond I promise on the next chapter. Hopefully the error won't happen again and I have bluetooth keyboard so I am no longer killing my wrist to write this damn story.**

**I'm going to be so giddy when I can announce that this is done. I just finished Kagome's last piece in the story and nearly made myself cry. So...yeah...**

**Sesshomaru-present**

His body aches as he flips through the test results with his two colleagues The night was long and now the sun is beginning to bloom casting a fresh glow of light into his stale office. It casts jaded shadows on the floor. Natsuki still sits behind with arms around his waist, silently giving him the strength to remain upright. "You're back is injured," she runs her hand up his spine. He feels relief as her fingers dance along his skin, healing the damage from the car that hit him earlier.

"Thank you," he whispers.

Confused eyes observe the two. Izayoi has fallen asleep on his desk. Tsukimaru still sits in a chair by the window, while Taiyomaru and Harutoga rest against the wall, with their legs outstretched. There will be a reckoning if he can find the cure with Tsukimaru. Oddly the nurses failed to notice the color change in Nina's eyes, too consumed with worry that Natsuki will end them. "I should check our patient," Yoshi rises off the ground.

"She can see now," Sesshomaru says, his mind still in the papers in front of him.

"What?" Yoshi and Haruto say at the same time.

"Our blood has healing properties. Clearly whatever happened to her eyes was caused by an injury that was curable with our blood," Sesshomaru lies in order to avoid Natsuki knowing who the girl is. "The light overwhelms her," he tries to keep the fondness out of his voice. She doesn't have all the memories, not yet, she can't. He'll become cold soon, worse than ice and angrier than a hurricane in the summer. The years won't be kind to either one of them. She doesn't have the most painful memories, the ones where he pushed her away as the disease raged to compensate for the emotions he was too arrogant and scared to express and the pain he refused to admit. There was no time then, only life and that was all that mattered. "Keep the lights low. I wish to see her before she is discharged."

"Sure," the younger doctor exits the room.

"What are you looking for?" Natsuki combs his hair with her claws. The motion is relaxing but it's just a reminder of what he lost centuries before. Rin could anticipate his needs, Natsuki cannot.

"I believe we are looking for a match," Haruto says. "Is there anyone else Sessho?"

"My name is Sesshomaru," he says, in a tone entirely too stern. He's tired of playing the game, the deception that has been his life for the last seventy years for the sake of finding a medicine that would save his kind. He drops the papers and rubs his temples. "Bring me Bakusaiga."

"We talked about this," Natsuki quakes.

"It's impossible," he says.

"Sesshomaru? You impersonated your own father?" Haruto picks up another stack of papers and begins flipping through them. "You need a fresh dose of stem-cells."

"No one is having a baby anytime soon and you can see here with the T-cells and here with stem-cells, this one is from a fox-demon and this one is from a wolf-demon and this is Tsukimaru," he points at another paper, "and this one is my daughter Yuki. The closest matches are from my own kind. This one is from a demon named, Sato," he shakes his head. "There are no matches. Bring me Bakusaiga," he demands of Natsuki.

"_When the time comes," it was after the first seizure that left him debilitated for a day, unable to get out of bed. "I will not sit in my bed like Katsumoto." He held his white pearled katana in his hand, gripping the end and aiming for his stomach._

_ "__No," Natsuki shook her head holding the hilt while she sat next to him, against his hips. "I won't let you. Katsumoto didn't because he believes in you. He trusts you to find the cure," she was terrified._

_ "__What honor is there in wasting away in a bed? If I can't move, I cannot save us. You will bring me my katana," he said coldly. "I will join her."_

_Natsuki gripped the light blue blanket on their bed and yelled, "I will not help you end your life sooner. You found the cure to the disease. You have saved countless lives, you will save ours."_

"What is Bakusaiga?" Haruto picked up another set of papers, "who is this? It's close to your results from before."

_Inuyasha, _Sesshomaru takes the paper, his hand immediately shaking at the sight of the results. He had coded each sample he had taken to avoid detection. "He's dead." It makes him ill that his voice cracks when he speaks. Inuyasha's numbers were close had he survived and never fallen ill, he may have been able to save him.

"Who was he?"

"My brother, half-brother." He throws the paper aside to avoid the pain of remembering Inuyasha's death.

"Are there any other siblings? Other children? Who was this?" Haruto hands him another paper. "This one is also close. Not as close as your brother."

"Taka," he sets the paper down. It is their secret and he has agreed to let her go. She wants her freedom and he will give it to her. "She's missing."

He can feel Natsuki's nose dig into his back and tears drip down his back. She misses her daughter. It's been ten years. "We can't find her," Natsuki whimpers against his back.

"I'm sorry, forgive me for causing you pain." He sorts through the papers. "Do you have any other siblings?"

"Why a sibling?" Natsuki asks.

Sesshomaru tosses the papers down. "We usually try to find allogenic donors. But demon blood is versatile." He picks up another stack of results from his children. "Neither one of you will match. We've already been using your blood to sustain me," he says to his children that are resting against the wall.

"What is allo…whatever you said?" Natsuki asks him.

"A blood relative." Sesshomaru thinks of the dog in the other room. "The only issue is I don't know what markers would work."

"Taka then?" Tsukimaru asks with a tone that screams his guilt.

"Did you suddenly find her Tsukimaru?" He glares at his youngest son. He won't kill Tsukimaru if he survives, but the child will know his place.

"Chichiue," Harutoga pipes up. "My lover is worried about you. The children would like to visit."

He shakes his head. "No."

"We need someone who's HLA profile matches yours." Haruto picks up the stack that he had discarded.

"Taka won't have HLA," he rifles through the papers. "I have HLA…but only partially. Those would have been supplied from Taiyomaru. Tsukimaru you and Taka do not have an immune system."

"Sesshomaru, my friend. A sibling?" Haruto's eyes are dark. He had not slept in a day.

"I had two brothers. They are both long dead." One blissfully dead but then he closes his eyes and thinks, "there is one other."

"Where are the results?"

It's happening again, his body is tremoring. "Natsuki," he winces as he feels the blood bubbling in his stomach. It aches and burns this time. It feels like his heart is going to explode. The pain is worse than when he was sick. He leans away from the papers and heaves against his control. His body convulses and all that comes up are scatterings of blood that splatter the office floor. "Dammit," he wretches again.

Both sons are off the floor and pulling him up by the arms. Natsuki leans over him, trying to stop the bleeding with her yoki but this time it's not responding. "We need to get him more blood."

He coughs, covering his mouth and he loses more. "No…bring my katana."

"No you stubborn ass," Natsuki rebukes him with tears in her eyes.

"I won't die like this." He's panting trying to stay upright. His claws dig into the carpet. "I won't be a dog trapped in a bed, unable to move," breathing is getting harder.

"You plan to kill yourself?" Haruto pushes back Sesshomaru's hospital shirt revealing the central line that's still in. "If you were intent on that, you wouldn't have left that in."

"Chichiue you're so close," Harutoga helps his father up. "Please?" He sees Rin in the one brown eye Harutoga has. "Ka-san would want you to fight," the words come out low and desperate.

It hurts. His stomach aches. His spine is on fire. Even moving his fingers makes his eyes water. He shakes his head, reaching up to remove the line.

Somehow Natsuki has returned with another large bag of blood from Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru. "Taiyomaru," he calls his son whose long hair is a replica of his mother's. "I told you not to give more. You're going to kill yourself."

"So are you," he leans down and lifts his father up. "You need to rest. This isn't what she would have wanted." Taiyomaru's skin is pale. His eyes are lined. It's obvious he has given too much.

He shakes his head. "What she would have wanted?" _She's sitting in the other room and I can't even speak to her. _She didn't know this was the husk he would become, because he survived, that he would have to watch her die and those they cared about. His fingers tremble against his will.

"He needs sleep," Natsuki calls to his sons, "if you are going to save him. You need to be quick about it. He can call the sword."

"I'll do my best," Haruto says as Sesshomaru is carried limply out of the room.

She remains. She can't watch him like this. It hurts too much.

**Please Review: I actually did do research into matching factors for bone marrow transplant and its kind of cool. **

**Next up: Mayumi-present**

**Story Recommendations: I have discovered Keichanz. I'm reading you saved me and it straight up reminds me of a Nicholas Sparks Novel. It's Inukag.**

**I was going to mention Neutronstarchild on my last chapter before everything went to hell. She primarily writes Inukag but with Sessrin in the background as well as newly writing a Sessrin! So give her some love for being a new sessrin writer.**

**Guys August 1st, Ken Narita and Mam...Noto whatever her name is are doing a livestream of the fans favorite sessrin episode and hopefully they will show Towa and Setsuna's full color patterns like they did inukag babies...I do not know if this means they are canon or not. Tumblr is a mess right now and I just want to say this, because I have won people over who do not like or understand the sessrin ship, even when people are jerks please show repsect. Please please please...there is always more than one side to an argument and I want to enjoy this fandom and I want my fellow Inuyasha lovers too. So this is just me humbling asking that we all try to show some love and respect in these crazy times!**

**I love you all and am so grateful to have you reading my stories. **


	56. Mayumi-present VIInterlude X

**Yay! Another chapter! Guys we're close to crossing 500 reviews. Like when I wrote this, knowing it was dark and all, I was like, well we'll see what happens and then ALL OF A SUDDEN like boom!**

**Just this week we got some new faves and follows and I want to welcome my new readers to this craziness. Hello, welcome. **

**I'm like 3/4 done still. I've been writing like crazy. I should have this done I hope by mid August and then we're going to just have a posting spree. Look for multiple posts daily...like we're just going to go wild!**

**I did a double whammy again...why because I can and they're short and there's good stuff and it may have made me cry writing it...I will admit to nothing.**

**Mayumi-present**

She wakes up to her body being shuffled. It's early. The eerie white clock on the wall says it's six. She rubs her groggy eyes. Arms pick her up out of the bed. "Get up little one. Chichiue needs to lay down." She is met with skunk-like hair and two different colored eyes. She learned from biology that Harutoga's eyes are called, heterochromia. The first time she saw him was when he was just a baby, technically so was she. In fact she is a year older than he is in the Edo era. They were born a year apart but now centuries separate them. Which is why it's hilarious when he calls her the 'little one'.

"I'm older than you," she mumbles as she finds her footing.

He only laughs in reply and ruffles her hair. "I'll be out front. We're going to breakfast then I'm taking you back to my house to wash up."

"I don't want to go! What about Ojisama?" She's panicked. He could die in his sleep and she would miss it or he could get worse. He's pale and more gaunt than he was before.

"There's nothing you or I can do now and you have school today."

"I was suspended," she admits sheepishly.

Harutoga bursts out laughing, "you would be! Come on."

"Let me say good-bye to him? Please?" It might be the last time she sees him and she knows it.

"I'll be outside."

But it's not on Ojisama that her eyes are on. It's the drawn white curtain across from him and Yoshi saying, "I can't believe it."

She inches over to the curtain and pulls it back enough to see that Yoshi is unwinding a white, gauze bandage from the girl's head. The girl's eyes are downcast but so vividly brown compared to the greyish white they were the day before. She holds her hands up to her face, whining lightly, while her dog nudges her hands into her computer that is next to her. The voice reader comes on and says something that Mayumi can't make out. She was never taught English.

Behind them, Tsukimaru hauls her Uncle's shivering body in. He's plopped into the bed with a painful groan and then hooked back up to a bag of blood to keep him from dropping into a cascade of seizures.

The girl's fingers inch up to Yoshi's face and her eyes squint as she sets her hands on his face. Yoshi responds and the girl shakes her head. He says something again and tears well in the corners of her eyes. The dog barks at Yoshi and even Mayumi thinks she understands that it would be better if she spoke to her uncle. Yoshi offers the girl his hand and helps her walk over to Ojisama.

His eyes are blackened around the sides, his face is gaunt and he looks pale. She realizes he hasn't eaten all night and probably didn't the night before either. The room is empty now except for Yoshi, Ojisama and this girl. She observes curiously, the girl being led over to her Uncle. "What are you doing? He needs to rest," she protests, not wanting her uncle disturbed.

"She can't understand my accent. His English is better," Yoshi drops the bar on the side of the bed and tells the girl something that involves holding his arm out to the empty side of the bed. "Rinata-sama? Rinata-sama, okido."

Sesshomaru groans, eyes unfurrowing so slowly it makes Mayumi scared. His lips are cracked and crease into a smile when his eyes open. "Nina," her Uncle says softly and dryly. She knows that voice. Ojisama was terrifying five hundred years before. He was almost always quiet, barely spoke but when he was with Rin, his voice rose the way it did while he speaks to the girl. She can't understand what they are saying between the voice reader and the words her Uncle speaks, but there is something tender in the way he wipes the tears off the girl's cheeks with the tips of his claws and seems to reassure her.

Mayumi's fingers grip themselves as she steps forward to get a better view. Not for the first time she wishes she were educated on this side of the well so she could understand what is being said. The girl hugs her Uncle around the neck, an offense that would have landed her in the grave if it was five hundred years before, but he returns the embrace patting her back. He even lightly kisses the girl's forehead before she is escorted from the room with her belongings and her white dog. "She looks like Obasan," she says as she sits down next to him.

"Can you keep a secret Mayumi?" He cocks his head to the side while his eyes begin to close again.

"Sure," she touches the central line on his chest. "Does it hurt?"

He raises an eyebrow at her. "You should know better than that. She is Rin or rather she has Rin's soul."

"What? Then how could you let her go?!" Some things make no sense. There is a room in the castle in the sky that is filled with pictures of Rin, their children and a desk where he wrote his memories of her. If he isn't in the library, he is in there staring at old pictures, pining for a love Mayumi can't understand. She's never been in love. Izayoi tells her it's because she never saw them before they were a couple and the back and forth, but her brothers and Izayoi did. They saw when he was unsure of himself, when Rin wasn't sure if she wanted him and the culmination of years of suppressed feelings.

"Some things aren't meant to be twice, Mayumi. I'm dying, why should she watch me? Like this, she'll go on and live her life without another pain inflicted by me."

"She would want to be by your side again and you know it. She loved you," Mayumi argues, half-wanting to get up and run out the door. "Ojisama, please don't go. Don't die." She falls on his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I'm trying little one," he exhales heavily as his eyes close again.

"You need to eat."

"Nothing would be tender enough. That hit from the car earlier started this. My organs are shutting down. I won't be able to metabolize solid food now."

She wipes her eyes."I can't do this Ojisama. What if I find you wild boar. You loved wild boar."

"A child's offering."

"You're stupid."

"It's impolite to upset the ill."

"Unless they're a fourteen hundred year old, cynical dog-demon. How can you let her go? You loved her so much it's killing you. She won't be there if you die. Neither will To-san. That means no one will survive, Shippo, Jaken, Katsumoto, even Harutoga and Yuki will die like this. How can you let them?"

"Now you're manipulating me. I need to rest Mayumi or I won't last. If you're so worried about my eating habits find a broth for me. Something that isn't made from stale vegetables and is mild in taste."

"Don't die while I'm gone? Please?"

He waves her off and she fears leaving the threshold of the office but Harutoga is already at the door, grabbing her by the wrist, not giving her a chance to look back. "He needs to rest."

"How long Harutoga?"

"Soon. It's progressing much faster than Katsumoto's is. He's been fighting it for too long."

**Interlude X**

_It hurts, for the first time it hurts, stings and she feels herself being split open by his shaft. He pushes her down on all fours. His eyes are red. His hands shiver up her body, making goosebumps. The air around her is electrified as if it is emitting his power. His teeth tear into her back and then a wet tongue digs into the broken skin of her back. He falls off her onto the grass of a field of daisies, next to a hot-springs that's lit by lamps hanging on a sakura tree, asking her why she made him do that._

Nina bolts upright, immediately reaching for Lucy's paw. She signs furiously into the rough pads everything that happened in the dream, but then as she does, for once she watches her hands, in shock, in awe that this has happened and she can see again.

Taka observes Nina flexing her hands and then going through the alphabet one by one, making the signs and caressing her own fingers. _As if it's the first time she is seeing them. Thank you, Taiyomaru. _Brown eyes that were once vacant, winter-like orbs now cast their glow on Lucy, her loyal white dog, not just feeling the silky texture of her fur but also the deep muscles, the way her hair sways when she moves and the red of her eyes. Nina lifts the paw up again and signs, _your eyes are just like his. I'm so confused._

_You and me both, sweetie._ Saying goodbye to her father cut her heart out, because it will be goodbye. He won't last the week and the worst part for Taka is that she can't be there with him, holding his hand as he goes and that his human lover, who he has missed for so long will continue her life and then she wonders if youkai are reincarnated or is this just a human fate? Must he die and live again and then they'll be together or was this their last chance?

A scream outside the door and Hannah's dusty scent come running through the examination door. She grabs Nina by the face, and screams again. "She can see?" She looks at the younger doctor for confirmation and then at the nurse. They both nod and break into a layered explanation, using big words that confuse Hannah, but she's so happy she doesn't know they are lying.

Taka licks her lips, staring at the younger doctor. His broad shoulders made her wonder what they would be like between her legs and she feels an ache growing. _Great, _she rolls her eyes as she sits next to Nina, listening to the directions for discharge. _Once again, I want what I can't have. Chichiue won't let him out of the office and might kill him…but…_

_Hungry? _Nina signs in front of Taka's face.

_Hungry for something…at this rate I'll never get to have a relationship. _There's something exotic about the unknown. About wanting to experience love but not finding it and wondering from where it will come. She's sacrificed the last five years of her life for Nina but the rewards far outweigh the cost.

She's passed a dog treat, which she accepts begrudgingly, surrendering to her fate.

They are released after being asked to stay in the city for the next week. Izayoi will come twice, once in three days and again at the end of the week to do blood tests and if they show her numbers returning to normal, the girl will be free to go back to the United States.

As they are led out, Taka sees her mother slumped in the office chair and nurses cleaning up a blood covered office. Heart ache is evil, it makes her feel like she can't breathe.

Nina pats her leg, encouraging Lucy to keep walking and as she steps out of the office, a piece of her is left behind.

Taka places back the conversation between her father and Nina when he discharged her.

_ "__Rinata-sama, wake up," the younger, hotter doctor had said, shaking her father's shoulder to wake him up._

_ "__What is it?" His eyes adjusted slowly, so lined it was like someone had carved ravines into the sides of his eyes._

_ "__She doesn't understand us. My accent is too heavy," the young doctor told him._

_ "__She wouldn't, would she?" He smiled, her father smiled, so widely that it cracked his features, lit the gold to honey in his eyes and then he patted the bed next to him._

_Nina sat down and nervously put her hands on his jaw and chin, but not before she tenderly stroked the markings on his cheeks, making her father's breath catch. Taka was forced to shake the feeling that there was something so wrong about seeing her father withhold himself from doing more than talking to the girl. His heart rate increased and a sheen of sweat broke out on his body and it wasn't from the end stages, Taka knew that. "Little one," he said to her, tracing her cheeks, her jawbone, her eyes and her ears. He pulled her forehead to his mouth and then it was Nina who suddenly smelled like a hot summer morning. "You are going to have such a wonderful life now. So full of meaning and joy." He coughed and held her wrists, his hands shook. "You will live to graduate high-school, to go to college, to find a husband, to see your children, your grandchildren. You'll find love and it will warm your heart."_

_Nina pulled out her computer and the new feminine voice said, "but what about you?"_

_ "__I've had my time."_

_Taka shook at Nina's feet, broken at those words. It wasn't enough time, not by far. _I'm not grown up Chichiue, please.

_ "__But you can't die."_

_ "__Death is inevitable and I am so lucky, Nina. Because the best, most beautiful patient was saved for last. I will die knowing I gave you my strength, that I have always given you my strength and that our hearts will always be bound together and I have given you life, again."_

_Nina shook her head, not wanting to believe it._

_ "__No tears. It's been a good life and once again, you will radiate your light for all to see. You don't have to fear death anymore." He cleaned her cheeks of tears. "No tears, this is a happy day. You can see again. Your vision will never fade, you can see the sun now, the way it rises in the sky, the golden glow, the moon and how it lights the night, the green of trees and the red of flowers. Sweet girl." He held her and combed her hair. "If I could give you back your hearing I would. You will always be in my heart."_

_ "__You can't die." Nina broke into sobs, unable to control herself._

_Taka licked her lips and then tears began to leave her eyes, dripping down her fur and splattering the white tiled floor._

_ "__My time has come, after so long, I can let go," Chichiue said and Taka started whining. He had to live. He had to._

_I'm him now, _Taka thinks as they ride in the car back to the hotel room. In her first life, Nina was a little orphan girl her father found in the woods, sheltered for a year and then gave to the village to raise, but now Nina was her little girl and he wanted her live a life of meaning, to fall in love, to know happiness and flourish. _I can't be a dog forever_, Lucy exhales puffing hot air onto Nina's lap.

"What's wrong Lucy?" Hannah pets her absentmindedly.

_If only I could tell you._

Nina signs, _"She's been sad since we came here."_

"Maybe she misses home," Hannah says quietly, letting her daughter feel her lips.

Nina's hand flies up, just as the sunrises and she finally knows what gold is. She holds her hand out to her mother, asking what it is, _sun, gold, trees, green with brown trunks, clouds are white and puffy, and tickle your nose. The sky is blue, like lakes and trees and cars come in different colors, some so plain you don't see them and others so loud you can't stop looking. _But then Nina picks up a mirror and looks at herself, touching her eyes, her nose, her high cheek bones and looks out the window, _I look like them._

Lucy cries in earnest, it all started here and the one person she wanted to hold her now was her mother, but she was certain if Natsuki were to discover her, Taka would be locked away again, only allowed to breed and nothing more. She buries her snout into Nina's stomach, hoping they don't see her tears. _Oh, Chichiue, _she whimpers. It was one thing to know he was sick and on his death bed, but something else to know his life would end soon and they had said their final goodbye.

**Please review! He's really sending her away? And poor Taka feels so guilty...**

**Coming Next: Yuki-past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Natsuki-past**

**Story recommendations I have heard anything by Xfangheart is amazing. I want to read their works myself, so I'll let you know when I get to them. **

**kimmgirl9: **I think you're heart is doomed, because I know I made you cry with this one!

**Mechine:** Well so Rin wants to help yes, but lets just say there is more to come and that more may have something to do with what happened in China without fully answering. Basically I want people to see in times of crisis not everyone behaves rationally. Sesshomaru wants to save his people, not watch them die. Yes they checked Natsuki but she doesn't match, someone else does.

**New Reader:** Oh it's sooo painful. Like why? They are onto something, that is all I'm going to say. And as for the past well...you'll have to read, because things are not so face value. And for the future with Taka and Yuki well...now that it's written, you'll either hate me or love it.

**Luin-Fanel:** Not Taka. She's close but she doesn't have HLA which is part of the human immune system so she isn't a match. And thank you for the compliment. I have enjoyed doing research for my stories. Especially Fire and Ice. Have you read it yet? You must...it's really really good. Or so people tell me.

**Harukisempai14:** So you're probably glad he sent her away right? That way she can live her life. Oh you will see how it works and what happens. LOL I'm having fun watching people's theories because they are soooo far away from what I wrote, which leads me to believe it will be an interesting plot twist. I'm so glad you feel so strongly about this :) Ah and heat for my stories. It happens once in every century, starting around 400 years, give or take. If however, they meet the one they are meant to bond, it can push them into a premature heat. Which is what happened with Tsukimaru. She met Sesshomaru and the bonding forced a premature heat which is why Tsukimaru's birth nearly killed her, all because she was too young. Think teen pregnancy. And why not after Taka...you must keep reading until the very end. Very...very end...

**Itzatakahashi: **Jaken falls ill is one of my favorite filler episodes. It was a filler and soooo beautiful! So glad you love this story and have kept reading!


	57. Yuki-pastVKagome-Past-VII

**OOOOO another chapter. We're 8 reviews away from 500! I know I keep saying I never expected this, but I literally never expected this story to get sooo many reviews and I am so happy that you all have stuck with me :). **

**I keep saying, I'm sooooo close...because I am soooo close to finishing this story. It's really exciting, because whereas Sesshomaru's Heart- Instinct took weeks...Instinct maybe a month, this one has taken nearly a year for me to finish because of school and life and it's longer and more complex and exactly what I told myself NOT TO WRITE..keep it simple Elo...nope...apparently I needed to experiment with complicated writing.**

**Okay I have nothing to say, literally. Oh except on Saturday, August 1st, Mamiko Noto and Ken Narita, VA's for Sessrin are going to be giving their commentary on a Sessrin episode. It's very exciting :) Hurray!**

**Okay let's do this. You may need blankets, tissues...something to wipe your eyes.**

**So for the ones asking if Taka is the donor. NO...part of my Fucked up demon theory, is that she has no immune system. So it's someone else. For hints go read drabbles...**

**Yuki-past**

The screams reverberate throughout the field of grass. Cries of pain, feral howls that she is unused to hearing. The green and yellow tall-grass is usually the setting of children running and playing tag, now it's the scene of mourners. Yuki leans near the doorframe of the ramshackle hut that once belonged to Shiori and her mother. It reeks of blood and death and Yuki can't help but wipe her eyes and blow her nose on the front of her short lavender kimono. She's never seen a child die before. Maybe once, when a fox hanyou fell in the river, but Chichiue brought him back. Ka-san called him, using their bond and then the boy was brought back. Harutoga cried because he couldn't get into the water fast enough but then Dogface was angry because Yuki and Harutoga had run off in different directions.

Her brothers are behind her standing nervously feet away with a piece of cloth wrapped around their mouths and noses to keep them from breathing germs. They weren't supposed to leave their home but she could hear the screaming from their house. She ran to her mother's apothecary in the closet and spiked some milk she gave to Katsumoto. The idiot should know better than to take anything from her. He passed out within minutes, making their escape to the village, to find out what was happening that much easier.

She covers her mouth sobbing. Tatsuo was almost eight years old. Almost a year younger than Taiyomaru and suddenly she's afraid that he will get sick too. "We should go home." She paws at her brothers, to get them to back away.

But she can't take her eyes off her aunt.

Kagome is flattened on top of the child with his parents. Sayako's eyes are bloodshot, Sota threw up too. Blood covers the floor and drips from the eyes of the child. They wail and cry for the child that is no longer among the living. Then Yuki stares at Sayako, her skin is red, not from crying for the child she lost but because she is sick too.

Suddenly Ka-san is leaving the hut and grabs all three of her children around the shoulders holding them. "Your cousin is dead." She covers her mouth and her eyes. "You can't be here. You could get sick. Katsumoto!" she calls for their guard. "Where is he?"

"I put something in his drink to make him sleep," Yuki says sheepishly, waiting to get in trouble, again.

"Hisato." Rin wipes her nose. He's off in the distance, eyes on them, but nowhere near the ill.

He raises a hand as he approaches the children.

"What happened to Tatsuo, Ka-san?" Taiyomaru asks, his words muffled by the cloth covering his face.

"He was too sick." Rin wipes her nose.

"Why do your hands smell like sake?" Harutoga lifts Ka-san's palms to his nose and inhales. "No, that smells stronger than sake."

"It's shochi." The mother coughs, choking back her tears. "If you touch someone who is sick, you need to wash your hands with something strong enough to destroy the germs. Listen to me, you cannot be here. You'll get sick. You could die."

"Where's Chichiue?" Yuki asks her mother. She hasn't been able to smell him, she knows that he's not there and it makes her feel sick with worry.

"I don't know," her mother answers as she hugs her children. "You need to go back to the house now. Hisato!" Ka-san calls her guard again.

He approaches them, keeping his distance from the hut and the ill. "Come children."

They follow much more subdued than they were before. She holds her brothers hands, nervous that they will meet the same fate. "I want Soba-sama," she tells Hisato. Soba-sama knows everything, she can fix this. She can make it better.

"She couldn't save Ojisan," Harutoga reminds her, the words biting at her body.

Hisato closes his eyes and rests his hand over his heart, then his face wrinkles into what Yuki has learned is concern. "Go back to the house," Hisato tells them.

"Where are you going?" Taiyomaru pivots to ask but Hisato has already left. All that is left is the wind that carried him.

"We should go home," Yuki wipes her eyes and takes her little brothers by their hands. Life would be so much easier if the adults around them explained what was going on, instead of leaving them in the dark.

**Kagome-past**

She is numb…she has half a mind to find Sesshomaru and kill him now. He must have known that her first and only grandchild would succumb, that her husband would die. Is Sayako going to meet her end? What about her children? He never said if Sota and Taisho would get sick. Sota has been around it for months now and is not symptomatic. But Sayako, the once muscle-bound she demon has withered. She is thin now, with ribs that slightly protrude. She can only swallow light broths and very soft meat. She heaved for the first time right after Tatsuo stopped breathing. It started with food and ended in a slow trickle of blood. Now, her eyes are puffy from sorrow, and she hasn't stopped wailing for hours.

_I spent a few rotations in gastro, _she tells herself firmly, but who can separate the grandmother within from the remains of the dead child on the floor. She joins her son and Sayako in mourning, tears bleed from her eyes, a lump forms in her throat. She sobs hysterically with them, rather than do what she knew she needs to. It hurts too much. She knows she will have to burn the tiny body. All the bodies will have to be burned and the clothes she wore while she cared for Tatsuo. Or they would have to be sterilized in some way but she has no idea how to accomplish that in this environment. How was she going to keep it from spreading? How could she tell if it was airborne?

She shakes her head as she holds the blistered hand that fits in her palm. He was such a beautiful boy with long, thick black hair. Sayako and Sota wrapped furs around his head like Koga and tied a small braid down the side of his head for his lineage. He liked running through the fields and chasing the other wolf-children in their pack. He was light itself and now his eyes are absent and body limp. She needs to do something, anything.

As she glanced outside the hut, she sees Rin leaning against the doorframe wiping her own tired eyes. Kagome rises from her mourning family and joins her sister-in-law. Rin hugs her and says, "I'm sorry."

"So am I." Rin holds her around the waist and strokes her hair. "This is what he warned me about. He'll find the cure Kagome."

She snorts, "How many more will die until he does?"

"I don't know," she gazes in the direction of her house.

"Your children will be fine," Kagome encourages her quietly. "Mine," she covers her eyes. "I miss my girls." She falls to her knees. "I shouldn't have kissed him. I'm so lonely."

Rin cushions her fall and they both land on the grass. "What do we do? To minimize it? Summer is coming soon. Inuyasha was sicker during the summers right?"

"Sesshomaru left to find Touma's halberd. At least I think he did." She wipes her eyes. "We need to limit who is around the ill. Bodies have to be burned. We can't make big funerals, just dig a giant pit and burn them. Or melted if Sesshomaru were here. Even Tatsuo," she covers her eyes. "We have to, to stop anyone else from getting sick. We should set up a shack to change our clothes in and to shower in and use shochi to sterilize. We need more help…it's going to spread. Everyone is going to get sick." They have gathered a large community of misfits in this village. So many live there now, so many children that will be lost. "We're going to lose so many."

"He'll find a cure," Rin says so surely that Kagome almost believes her. "He left? He just came back. He didn't say anything."

"He had to," Kagome stands up. "You need to call a meeting before it spreads and it gets worse and we need more help."

"From who?"

"Jinenji and I think Sango and Miroku should move here. How long before the monks come? If everyone gets sick, how will you keep the barrier up?"

"They can't find us," Rin reminds her. "It's made from reiki."

"We need to be careful. We should find Kohaku too."

"Sesshomaru might kill him," she touches her heart. She wishes he was here. "He looks so small."

"I'll go," Kagome says firmly, wiping the last drops of tears.

"No," Rin shakes her head, "no. I'm the better warrior between us and I can take Hisato with me."

"If they sense the yoki from your bond? It's so strong even I can sense it." The plan is madness.

"No," she repeats herself. "We'll start by calling a meeting."

"No," Kagome grabs her hands, "we start by bathing in a mixture of shochi and water and changing our clothes into clean ones. It's the best we can do for now."

There are things she notices about Rin's body as the two wash behind the hut where none can see them. The younger woman has more defined abs and is skinnier than her. Kagome had taken care of her form, but not like Rin. She could fight easily against marauders, Inuyasha had taught her that, but it's been years since Kagome actively sparred against anyone. For a time, Sango used to work with her, but even Sango had begun to slow down. It's almost as if age has not touched Rin in the last ten years. She's thirty four to Kagome's forty-one years and the signs are extremely obvious. Rin's hair is still completely black with no signs of aging. She still looks like a woman in her twenties. Kagome already knows, _she was with me for one hundred and fifty years after I bonded her. _She will be with him for another hundred and twenty years. It makes the Miko jealous. She only had twenty years with the man she loved. Why did it have to end like this?

**Please Review: Oh Kagome is pissed! Okay, can you blame her? Like really? She was around Sesshomaru in the future for 20 years and he never said anything. **

**And personal request...the people who have dubbed themselves anti-sessrins have vowed to start flaming sessrin stories and art. If you don't normally review, please do. In fact go on all the authors you read and review. We seriously talk about you guys in discords and on tumblr and are so grateful for all you do to support us. Things are getting down and dirty on twitter and tumblr because of Yashahime, so even if you don't review me, take that energy and go review your other Sessrin authors. (Myravensprit, Kimmgirl9, Neutronstarchild, Ruddacatha, Momo15, Spiritedranger, unlockthelore, Esther247) Trust me, it will be welcomed. **

**Coming next: Sesshomaru-past**

**Natsuki-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Yuki-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Mayumi-Present**

**Nina-Present...wait Nina? Nina gets a POV? AHHHHHHH**

**I may or may not double up these. I cannot commit to a posting schedule still, I'm sorry. One kid hopefully goes back to school August 17 and two more on August 30th. I really hope this means I get some freedom. I am trying to finish my last 8 credits of school, but it's a pain in the butt. That internship requirement is killing me, because I can't afford baby sitting. Pandemic life people.**

**Okay responses:**

**Smmahamazing: **I'm so sorry for making you cry. I bawled writing that last chapter. Mayumi is going through so much for a kid. It's a lot to deal with knowing your dad passed away while you were gone and then your Uncle is on his death bed and you are separated from your mother...Like DAMN

**Harukasempai14: **I know I like Taka too. You'll see what happens with that. HEHEHE...I love your theories. I think I officially know what professional writers feel like when people try to guess their twists and can't wait to find out. I will tell you, your theory is far off for what happens in the Taka/Yuki/Katsumoto field...I wonder if you'll guess.

**Mechine: **I'm sorry! I think I made everyone cry. Taka is not the donor. Mayumi and Izayoi's yoki isn't strong enough.

**Itzatakashi: **I feel like I made everyone cry. Tearsville. Oh you'll find out what happens to the girls, to Taka to everyone. By the time this story is done, hopefully everyone's story lines will be finished.

**Kimmigirl9: **HEHE...seriously I made everyone cry!

**New Reader:** I think keeping people on their toes is the funnest part. Like what we want to happen vs what happens and that way you can't think about what it would be. That's a big thing with this story, both Nina/Rin and Sesshomaru won't have closed eyes, they will know what a relationship means and the risks it carries.

**Guest: **Rin wasn't even in that last chapter, so what that tells me is that you are a troll who didn't read it. So A you're an anti, because they promised to harass Sessrin stories and scream OOC, or you're one of the same guest readers who keeps trying and failing to get me to stop writing. So...thanks for being number 491. Feel free to review OOC again, maybe you'll be my 500th review.

**Angeljme: **I agree it's better that she is sent away. A 15 year old 21st century girl is way different than a Feudal Japan 15 year old. Nina is still sweet and innocent and he doesn't want to take that from her. I feel like eyes wide open will probably change the interaction, if there is one...


	58. Sesshomaru-past XIINatsuki-Past IV

**SO i was going to post this chapter as soon as we crossed 500 reviews to say thank you! Seriously...I'm a bit in awe and kind of dumbfounded at the minute. I have been told that sessrin doesn't usually get this many and here you guys are being awesome and supportive! It's amazing and I love you.**

**Well it has been an intense week here. I hope everyone else has had a calmer week and is surviving this pandemic.**

**I love these two chapters! **

**Sesshomaru-Past**

He soars high in the sky, the wind and the rain his companion. As he approaches the south, he takes a rag and covers his face, obscuring his visage and ensuring that if the disease ravaging his kind is airborne, he won't fall ill with it. He will have to wash his shoes, his clothes and his body to avoid it seeping into his skin. He lands in the area where Rin had lived years before when he had bonded Natsuki. The ramshackle hut had been dismantled years ago when she returned to live with him again. He stalks through the forest, smelling the rotten stench of death.

This close to the ocean, the air is constantly moist, leaving a sheen of sweat on the trees. It mars his senses as he walks serenely over the logs that used to make Yuki trip and fall when she brought water from the river. For a mere second he wonders how many have been affected from drinking from the river water. He'll have to find a clean source of water because he didn't bring a bottle to drink out of or a pot to boil it. Things he's never had to think of before. From Kagome, years before he learned about sterilizing water to protect Rin. She told him it was to get rid of diseases in the water.

He kneels down and lifts dirt up to his nose. It's even harder to find what he is looking for through the scents of the brush. For a moment, he wishes he would have brought Katsumoto with him, or one of the children.

He had flown passed the place that Sota had called home. All that was left were bodies and more bodies. Villagers milled in the area, fearless of the illness filching the remaining valuables that the wolves had held near.

A twig snaps to his right, the first sign that he is not alone. He curses the mask on his face, obscuring his scent. Arrows come from the right. He shatters them with his whip. A net from above falls and is hacked with his claws. He spins around to grasp a slayer by the throat. The man throws black beads in his face, covering him in dark brown clouds that do nothing more than temporarily obscure his vision. Another comes from behind, he dispatches with a kick to the stomach. He tosses the one in his hand and whirls onto a third but as soon as this one is in his grasp he sets the man down. "Kohaku."

"Sesshomaru-sama…" the man falls to his knees. His hair is much the same as it was when he was a boy, only longer. "Cease attacking! This Mononoke is a friend!"

From the trees and the surrounding brush, five men and three teenage boys approach him. He scoffs at the men who as if he is a rabid wolf. "What are you doing here?"

"Some of the yokai have turned vengeful." He keeps his eyes low so as not to incur Sesshomaru's wrath. "We've been battling a horde of bears that keep attacking the village that is under your protection. The ogres are sick. The mikos and the monks in the area have been purifying them. The Dai-yokai in the cave near the mountains is wrathful. We were hired to obliterate him. Sesshomaru-sama I need your help."

"You will be in my debt," there is too much fighting. This is not the time for petty battles that end valuable lives. But he needs allies among the humans and will take them where he can get them. He has saved Kohaku one too many times for the man in front of him to betray him. "I'm looking for a halberd. It has a moon shaped hilt, a cyclone on the blade."

"We'll find it," Kohaku says firmly.

Sesshomaru soars into the air and removes the damned rag from his face so he can breathe freely. The air is thick but he knows the mountains that Kohaku speaks of.

High above the cliff where Rin had made her home is the home of bear demons. He makes his way up, sniffing the air carefully. Sickness could be anywhere. Landing paces from the entrance of the cave, he is met by a bear in humanoid form. He had once told Rin that she should be grateful that she never met one in this form, because like this, they are strong beyond measure, not as fast as inu-youkai but deadly. He'll be lucky to survive this encounter. "What do you want, Dog Lord?"

"The village you attack is under my protection." He proactively removes Bakusaiga from his waist, brandishing it low. Peace would be preferable, but even he knows it may not happen.

The demon before him wears a thick bearskin. Over his face and covering his long black hair, is a bear's head. He holds his own curved-tipped katana, with fur around the bone-white hilt. "You would side with the humans?"

"I side with no one."

"Then you haven't heard the rumors."

He paces closer, carefully laying his steps. If this turns into a battle of brawn the bear will transform in front of him and be nearly twice as big as he is. "Rumors are a waste of time."

"A monk came through these lands three months ago, disguised as a peddler. He sold sweet rice to many of the families. Many of our kind have perished. From there, this illness has spread to the ogres, to the osprey, to the eagles. We are being eradicated."

"The village has done you no harm."

"You are getting soft." The bear's katana lights white.

"And you are becoming stupid." Bakusaiga glows green.

"You know the problem with humans?" The bear demon laughs, "you never know which ones will be born with holy powers. Better to kill them all. If you aren't careful, that will include the human you took as your lover."

There are buttons not to be pushed and this is one of them. Keeping her safe is a never ending battle. Blood will be spilled again for her and it will be worth it. He lunges at the bear-demon, done with talking. He is just as quick as Sesshomaru. Their blades clash in white and green lights. They hack into each other's skin but Bakusaiga can't break through the bear's fur.

Sesshomaru lunges at the stomach and is blocked, then at the neck. The bear demon ducks, making Sesshomaru miss. He strikes at the shoulder, the demon parries. He can't afford this battle. Tatsuo is sick and in that moment, grief hits the back of his awareness so strong and so overwhelming he knows that he has lost his nephew.

The distraction is all the bear demon needed. He thrusts his long sword into Sesshomaru's gut, twisting it to prevent it from healing quickly. Sesshomaru groans in pain, blood spurts from his mouth. "Weak," he laughs at the dog-demon as he twists it for good measure, sending blood spilling from Sesshomaru's middle in waves and then slices up his chest hitting the lower lobe of his lung.

Sesshomaru wants to collapse. He wants to stop breathing. His chest aches and burns, making him wheeze as he breathes. But instead, he forces his arms back up, simultaneously stabbing the bear demon through the back of its chest and into his own, nearly piercing his heart in the process. "Vermin," he growls through clenched teeth, shoving the body off him and collapsing, falling through the air. He grips the neck of the bear demon as they both lose their footing, sliding and smashing into the sides of the cliffs. If one of them doesn't start flying soon, they'll both be dead.

"And we'll die together!" the bear demon laughs as they fall into a dark abyss.

**Natsuki-past**

She can hear them arguing from her room. She bounces her son on her hip to calm him. Even Tsukimaru can sense the unrest of the those around them. He hasn't been quiet since Sesshomaru stopped visiting and has only come a handful of times in the last year, forsaking his claim to Tsukimaru and Natsuki for the sake of protecting his family below.

Something has been distracting him as of late. She sets Tsukimaru down despite his screams and leaves her room following the arguing to Gobodo-sama's room. She plays a dangerous game. The woman is always steps ahead of Natsuki, a dangerous tyrant. She knows better than to step out of line, but it seems there is someone who can stand up to her.

"You can't keep her here!" Hisato's voice booms down the hallways shaking the foundation of the home.

"Where should I send her?" Gobodo-sama yells at him just as loud. "There is nowhere that she would be safe! They cannot reach us in the skies."

"And how long will it be until they find a yokai to be their slave to fly them here? First purifications now this?" He grabs her by the shoulders. "Listen to reason, listen to me. I have lived by your side for centuries and seen you stand with your head high despite the pain you have experienced in this life. You cannot keep her here. It's too dangerous. Take her and leave."

"Again, where? The disease is spreading everywhere. It's already decimated the West, it's in the South. There are rumors of it spreading in the East and how long until it reaches the north? Where would we go that would keep us from falling victim to it?"

"Anywhere dear one." He cups her chin and kisses her mouth. "Anywhere. My heart is full wherever you are."

"You sentimental fool." Gobodo-sama nips at his fingers.

"I am your fool," he says quietly. "We must leave."

Natsuki wonders if they are talking about her. Is Sesshomaru worried about her? Worried about their son? Is it through fear that he sends his messenger? She yearns to feel the bond that she has spent so long ignoring, the thing that keeps their souls twined together. He feels like a flame, a constant in the back of her mind, but sinful to touch, to make contact with. She yearns for him even now, but she must wait, bide her time until the day comes. Until Rin dies.

"There is nowhere safer for her to be than by my side. They won't find us here. It won't make its way here." Gobodo-sama's mouth opens against Hisato's and suddenly Natsuki is blushing. The passion between the two is greater than anything she has ever seen before. They hold each other tightly, arms circling waists, fingers running through long hair until he tips the demoness over the side of the bed and eases himself between her legs.

Now she knows she's overstayed. She turns and touches her heart lightly. Just once, for one moment she wants to feel him. But it's not him she feels, it's darkness, it's pain. He can't breathe, his life-force is leaving him. "Oh no," she covers her mouth and runs back to her room. She quickly ties her son to her back with a silk turquoise sash and runs out of the room flying for her lover. She knows he will never love her, because she is not Rin, but there are some things she can do that his human lover can't, if she can only get to him in time.

"You interrupted Natsuki." Hisato flies next to her so suddenly she almost loses her balance. "Why are you taking the baby down there."

"He's hurt," she doubles her speed in an attempt to leave the demon behind. "Badly. He can't breathe."

"He doesn't need you," Hisato warns her, reaching to grab the child from her back.

She twists dodging the hand. "I could kill you." She speeds her coming. "He's can't move." Her eyes bleed red. "He's dying." It burns, her chest is on fire. He's trapped and his legs aren't moving. She doesn't know what it is that has him so furious, but she can feel it as if it's her own. Blood leaks from his chest, he struggles to stay awake and now his legs aren't working. She promised to keep her distance, but they never spoke if his life was in danger.

She finds him panting with a large boulder crushing his legs. It's twice as tall as she is and much wider. Immortality does not equate invincibility. "Sesshomaru!" she screams covering her mouth. He's in a small canyon at the bottom of a ravine. Even she can feel that he is in so much pain he can't speak. His eyes open lazily. He lies in a puddle of his own blood. His white haori is dripping and his mouth is lolling. "Hisato help me get this off!"

The two demons lean over and lift the rock off Sesshomaru's legs. He grunts in pain as the stones are removed, revealing bones that stick out from the skin. Natsuki leans over him and embraces his lips with her own and slides his hand against her breast. He doesn't fight her, knowing exactly why she is engaging in such an intimate act. "Hang on," she presses her hands against his chest calling on her yoki to both soothe and heal. She groans at the power it takes to close the wounds in his legs and chest.

He coughs catching his breath and pushes her off him. He forces himself off the muddied ground and wipes the blood from his chest, sniffing the air.

Natsuki sniffs too, trying to find out why he is here and how he ended up at the bottom of a ravine. She can smell it too. "He's not dead yet."

"Leave," he removes his katana and follows the scent. "Hisato," he calls his servant.

The obedient demon follows.

She follows behind him, refusing to leave his side. The injuries may be closed but he is still not at his strongest. She has been weakened but she will do more good than Hisato and will prove it.

As they trek through the dark, they find the bear demon bleeding out through his chest with blood dripping down the corner of his mouth. "You kill your own kind for humans."

"I have always killed my own kind," Sesshomaru states coldly as he swipes his sword through the neck, sending a gush of blood, splattering the rocks. "Leave Natsuki, Hisato go home."

Then he is gone again and she holds her heart.

"You have to stop approaching him. It's going to keep building and neither one of you will be able to resist it."

"Times have changed Hisato," she says just as cold as her lover. "What are we supposed to do? I won't let him die over lowly humans. If she loved him, she would do the same thing, regardless of where it came from."

"You're playing with fire."

"We all are," she says as she leaves, returning to the castle that has become her home.

**Please review! OMG...well if Natsuki wouldn't have helped him, he would have died and now Kohaku is involved? MMMH...**

**Coming next- Sesshomaru-present**

**Sesshomaru-past **

**And more!**

**Fic recs...Tell Me What He Did Neutronstarchild and ruddcatha. It's about Sesshomaru cleaning up Sesshomaru's messes in the present timeline during the series. Hilarious!**

**Just a reminder that Fire and Ice was nominated best Drama. Would love some votes. I'm not super invested in winning. I'm so flattered to get a nomination.**

**Kimmigirl9: **I think you are doomed...

**itzatakahashi: **I know...Kagome has all the reason to be angry and Sesshomaru in the future all the reason to protect the past as it it and AHH...well here's some action and hopefully you didn't cry this time.

**Harukasempai14: **You know it's funny, you are so right. And I say funny because we had a family emergency this week, minor but in the "heat of the moment", my other kids were left behind. There was no time to explain so inevitably one of them did act up. Like yes tell her, but I hope you see that people are in reaction mode, not so much like let me think logically. And oh why people hate this ship? Want an essay? I'll give you a short one...but a lot of it is, people who don't dig sessrin only see her as a child. Even if you say adult Rin, they see kid Rin. Another part is...the fans kind of did this to themselves. So many pictures and fanfic represent her so childlike, that pretend you do what I did with sesskag and try to find a story you like to broaden your perspective, but every single story has her childlike as an adult. Childlike in a sexual relationship...and then finally...there are the people that actually do ship her as a child. If you've been on tumblr at all lately, you'll see that I am getting heat for saying that I do not like that, I think it's wrong...it makes my inner psych major scream at the top of my lungs. So yeah...our ship has issues...many ships have issues, but I think one of the reasons I get so many reading who don't ship sessrin is because I am willing to talk about the imperfections, write them and make a mature Rin. For all the shit I get for how I write, what I write...people who don't ship it, read my stuff and go damn! If everyone wrote like this I could ship sessrin too. So...I get both sides of the coin.

**Ivrielx3: **The donor has not been revealed. Everyone is still speculating right now. In the present timeline so far...only a few days has happened. In the past several years. I think we are in year 3 or 4 of the disease. He isn't taking Rin for granted...it's more he's been stressed the fuck out and she can no longer be his one and only thought because he now feels the desperate need to save his kind. So there is more to this particular story than them just being in love and it's not him being an ass, it's him struggling emotionally to do what's right and what will save his kind.

Gina: I know right? Natsuki redeemed herself in my mind...doesn't mean she gets to have Sesshomaru though.

**Mechine: **Kimmi always tells me the same thing. She needs blankets to make it through my stories. HEHE I'm having fun reading everyone's guesses about Katsumoto/Yuki/Taka...because no one is even close to what I have planned.

**Curious cat: **There is a ten year period where the well is closed. Kagome hasn't seen them in 3 or 4 years. So the answer to question 2 is that the two plot lines are moving at different rates. But that doesn't mean time isn't passing equally. I'm just telling two stories that will converge at the end of this.

**New Reader: **Yuki is a total pain in the ass...but her character is like that. I give no plots away. But I'm trying to do some mental math as I write this and figure out how old Rin is, because she isn't in her prime for this time period. She's in her 30's right now. So it's not the same, because lifespans were so much shorter then.

**Luin-Fanel: **Congratulations to your son! The donor has not been revealed yet. It was an intense chapter to write. I had to get my mind into what would happen if I was in that position and I think I made myself cry.

**Guest: **ok...but if you are looking for a love story in this story, you are going to be disappointed. This about so much more than two people being in love. In fact all my stories have never solely focused on Rin and her experience of their relationship.

**Smmahamazing: **I love how Rumiko is like here we go...time travel and there are no repercussions. Would there be? I think yes...And you are so right that Kagome is in such a tough spot. I hope this action packed chapter helped to break things up for you.


	59. Sesshomaru-Present IXSesshomaruXIII

**I am dedicating this chapter to my utter and freaking annoyance that they did Sesshomaru and Rin best episodes and said nothing about who the mom is...except to tease that it was Jaken. I knew that little toad was good for something...**

**LOL I'm actually a bit burnt out with the whole we're having a sequel when I am fairly certain they aren't going to say who the mom is at all until the series comes out and even then, just string us along...**

**So...Here is another chapter. I was working on one of the final chapters when this ass of a rat came flying across my porch and nearly landed on my feet. I screamed bloody murder and that killed my jive, so I offer this instead...**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

The world is white and smells clean, like nothing exists. The air hazy as if he is alone on the stretcher with nothing around him. Heat fills his lungs. The first breath in is the sweet smell of morning dew that he was once so used to inhaling. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, forcing his eyes open. Then he sees her striding for him, a goddess dressed in a lavender kimono with a light yellow obi, hair down and flowing around her shoulders. Once, she started wearing it up more often and he sliced through so many of the ties for her hair, she finally understood that he wanted it down, to bury his nose into, to comb his claws through, to grip when they made love so he could tilt her head back and nip at her neck. A bland sigh escapes his lips as she approaches him.

"I'm dreaming." He blinks trying to will the vision of her away. A cruel torment, knowing that at any moment he will wake without her in his arms.

"Is it such a bad dream?" She pulls his face down to her own and their lips meet, a fire of passion as he grabs for her waist, greedy to remove the clothes that are barring them. Their tongues dance together in a familiar symphony. He clenches down enough to make her moan, "my love." She grips his shoulders, breaking the kiss.

"My heart." He rests his forehead against hers as he once did and laces her lips with his own again, holding her by the back of the neck. "You didn't wait for me." He breaths heavily, huskily, unable to think of anything more than her next to him.

"You were taking too long," she laughs, facing away from him and pulling her long black hair over shoulder, baring a pale white neck to his fangs.

His lips come down on her shoulder, tasting the dew of her skin that is quickly changing to the heated summer mornings, a sign that she is desperate for his touch. He scrapes his fangs against her skin. "I am trying to save our children." For them he stayed, for them he did not fall on his katana as he wished to.

"And what about you?" She turns again, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He doesn't fill the space he used to. Her hand travels up to his cheek and thumbs the wrinkled skin beneath his eyes, signs of aging, pain and the stress he has endured curing others of ailments. "The years have not been kind to you."

"Because you left me," he whispers in her ears. "Because I need you."

"And so you let me go so easily? I was sitting in a bed across from you."

"You are a wicked woman Rin." His lips encapsulate hers, digging, grinding, until their teeth clash together. "Taunting me in my dreams. This is a dream. Why torment me?"

"Are you sure you're dreaming? The scar is returning." She pushes aside the garment from his chest, revealing the root-like scar, the symbol of his bond to Rin. "Even this knows that I am there. I'm waiting for you my love."

"That girl is not you, my heart," the next kiss is bitter. "She isn't you."

"We can be together again," her voice breaks next to his.

"Is there a reason you decided to come back in a body that was deaf and blind?" He sits down, even in dreams his legs are sore and tired and he fears them breaking into tremors he can't stop. He pulls his lover down with him, licking the nape of her neck, tasting the skin he misses so much.

"I'm not sure I had much of a choice. My time to come back into this world came," she turns her head to meet his lips and cups his chin, a taste that he misses. "She wasn't always blind. I think you figured that out now. She was born to poor farmers and was trapped in a house during a fire one night. The burns took her sight when she was two. The only thing she remembers seeing is you, my love."

"You trick her," he kisses the palm of her hand, "and toy with my heart."

"Well, I do owe you for those five years you abandoned me."

"You chose abandonment."

"I did not," she yanks on his hair for effect. "You ached and wouldn't share it with me."

"I couldn't," he corrects her. "And you wouldn't share."

"You lied to me," she mutters against his lips. "You said she never approached us again."

"She didn't." He can't help his lips from falling on hers. He slides a hand inside the hem of her kimono and massages her supple nipple between his clawed fingers. She moans and leans into his touch. "Must we talk? There are other thigs I would rather do before I wake up to a body that can't move."

"You're giving up my love."

"My heart," he inhales the dip of her neck. "There's nothing left for me in life. I've done what I could."

"You're so close Sesshomaru, don't give up."

"What do I gain by staying?"

"I'm there, waiting for you."

He shakes his head in disbelief.

"Do you honestly see yourself as so unlovable?" She nips at his bottom lip until he returns the pressure. "I don't regret loving you."

"She doesn't know me."

"She knows what I want her to."

"And when she learns the truth? The monster I am inside? No," he says so firmly as goosebumps rise on his skin.

"You're scared my love." She falls on top of him, rolling to the side, taking in his mouth, sucking on his tongue.

"I am afraid of nothing."

"Except for what lies in here." She touches his chest, an orange ring flames around her fingers, the mark that once bound them together.

He slides the garment off her shoulder, revealing the slightly tanned skin that he used to move against. For fear that the real world will call him, someone will wake him from this dream, he removes the rest of her clothing and then struggles against his own. His fingers aren't as limber as they once were, so his lover reaches up and unbuttons the white shirt he is wearing. "Your body has changed." She runs her tongue up his stomach making him snarl in pleasure. His muscles aren't what they once were, neither is his appetite, leaving his body a shell.

"I was weakened," he grasps a handful of hair, tugging her chin back and trailing wet, open mouth kisses down her neck, while nestling himself between her legs. "This is a dream," he says as he slides himself in. She's so hot and burning for him he nearly comes with the first thrust. "Oh my heart," he croons next to her ears, "why didn't you wait for me?"

"Why did you let me go?"

"She is not you," he thrusts again, gripping her shoulders. It's a dream and he will wake empty. An ache grows in his back. He's desperate to go deeper, to push himself further inside of her but can't. The dream is fading. "No," he bangs a fist against the floor. "Don't go. Rin, please?"

"You're so close my love," her voice and body fade against the blowing wind. "Don't give up. I'm waiting for you."

He wakes up rubbing his chest, panting. The blinds have been darkened and he is alone. He takes the water cup that was left next to him and quenches his parched throat. In anger, the cup is thrown across the room, splashing the wall with water.

Before she left, Nina asked him if they would ever meet again and if he was real. He told her the fever makes patients hallucinate and that all he was, was a doctor who wanted her to be well and live a good life. She hugged his neck thanking him for her sight and he couldn't resist running his lips along her forehead in a final good-bye kiss. She tasted exactly like Rin. He would not subject her to a life by his side again, especially when he didn't know how much life he had left to live. He presses the call button on the bed too tired and weak to get up.

Haruto comes in with a grim look on his face. He sits in the swivel chair by Sesshomaru's bed-side. Izayoi follows behind him, sleep still in her eyes, "how are you Ojisama?"

"We need to bring Katsumoto here," he lifts himself off the bed. "Izayoi, where is Mayumi?"

"Harutoga took her back to his house," she say and sits next to him. "Are you hungry?"

He shakes his head, "I'll be fine. We proceed with the transplant Haruto."

"Do you know someone to match you?"

"I have an idea. Izayoi call Sato," he says. "And quickly, there won't be much time."

"What about the chemo? How much will we need to suppress your immune system?"

Sesshomaru laughs, "that will be an experiment. Of course, if you use too much I'll die, and not enough, my body will reject the donor tissue. Oh don't look so shocked Haruto. I'm dying anyway, you'll either save my life or speed my journey."

**Sesshomaru-past**

He collapses shortly after Natsuki leaves but not without the feeling of wanting to follow her. He pulls himself next to a tree so he has something to lean against and fluffs his mokomoko out behind him. He sighs into his fur, closing his eyes long enough to realize that he is surrounded and despite the healing wounds in his chest, he is not looking forward to this battle. They surround him, twenty strong, with sickles, swords and bows and arrows. He rolls his eyes, knowing what is coming and considers transforming. It would be much easier to destroy them this way, until a familiar voice rings in his ear, "Sesshomaru-sama!"

When his eyes open lazily again, the slayers are on their knees, with heads bowed to him. Kohaku approaches with the Halberd in his hand, dragging it behind his back because of the sheer weight of it. "It was hard to find it. I recognize Kagome-sama's spiritual energy against the blade. It's been quieted. It was found next to a skeleton." He flops it off his back and onto the ground next to Sesshomaru. "Are you injured?"

Sesshomaru only snorts in return, gripping the katana. He can feel the Miko's seal against it the moment his hand touches the hilt. He just needs a few days to heal and he will break the seal. With this he will be able to chill his village and slow the spread of the disease, time. That is what he tells himself, he needs time to find a cure, to save what is being destroyed.

"I'm sorry about what's happening." Kohaku sits down next to him. "We heard rumors. I had to give Kirara back to my sister to protect her. We were ambushed by Monks and Mikos last month. They tried to take our weapons and attacked Kirara with some powder."

Sesshomaru's eyes widen in shock. "Is she ill?"

Kohaku nods his head. Kohaku is no longer a boy or a young man. He is three seasons Rin's senior but then Sesshomaru wonders why he has never seen silver in Rin's hair. Her black tresses fall down her back as freely as ever. They haven't withered from age, or changed in color. "Shippo fell ill shortly after. He was visiting Sango and then he spiked a fever. He's been able to travel but," Kohaku suddenly covers his mouth.

"It's contagious," Sesshomaru says wincing as he sits up. "You are in the debt of this Sesshomaru." Suddenly his speech is more formal but he sees hope in the humans who kneel in front of him.

"You want a favor."

Kohaku is quick witted and the dog-demon appreciates it. "You remember where my home is?"

"I do," he cracks a melon on his knee and begins to eat. "Would you like some?"

"No. You will find sick demons and bring them to my home. Send to your sister. It moves faster with heat. Summer is coming. Shippo and Kirara will survive longer in my home. Is the hanyou sick?"

"Jinenji-san? Not yet. He uses shochi to wash his hands like he saw the Miko do when she worked with very sick patients and keeps his mouth covered. For now he's healthy but it can't last. We've run across entire demon villages decimated. The ogres are gone. They've retreated to their mountains and the wolves that had recently moved into this area left months ago. We'll do it though."

"Kohaku-sama!" One of the slayers protests. "This is a Mononoke!"

"A Mononoke who saved my life countless times, my sister, Kagome-sama. He protected me as a child. We will serve him. We are in his debt for killing the bear demon. We camp here tonight."

Kohaku's gesture doesn't escape Sesshomaru. He is weakened and if he encountered another fight, particularly with monks or priestesses he lacked the strength to fight back. He closes his eyes, intent on resting for several hours before he returns to chill his lands in an eternal winter.

**Please review! Wait was that a dream or the real Rin? Unfortunately I had to decline an anon review for bashing another author. Guys I know there are people who don't ship sessrin out there, but I am friends with many antis and many antis read my stories. I've had several people say you are the only sessrin author I will read and also I don't read sessrin I read Elohiniar. Many have also told me they came on to flame and left with respect and that if more people wrote sessrin like I did they would read and ship it.**

**So as much as it can be frustrating when someone is vehemently against Sessrin, I do not base my respect off of which fictional characters people ship. So please...if you have comments about tumblr users and other authors don't put them in reviews. You can DM me on here or contact me on tumblr. I have too much respect for my fellow authors to allow them to be bashed in reviews.**

**Up next: Yuki-past**

**Rin-past **

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Mayumi-Present**

**Nina-Present oooo Nina gets her own POV's :)**

**Ivriel: **I reveal no plots. But yes Sess is overwhelmed and that's why he is acting like an ass. He has soo much going on and so much to do and is desperate to save his people and at some point it just becomes how much can one person take?

**Luin-Fanel: **HAHA I know...this one has been odd writing, because there aren't a lot of actions scenes. The evil is a virus and fighting it takes wits and research. But don't worry there are some epic battle scenes coming down the road. Thank you :) I'm so excited we crossed that 500 marker. Who knows maybe we will make it to 600. I have no idea.

**Smmahamazing: **Oh yeah...he definitely still loves her, he's just suffering. I mean we can't expect him to handle everything well. LOL

**Mechine: **You are going to be shocked by what I wrote :). I was. I liked the intense chapter too. It's interesting because this has less of the battles in it and more of the emotional side but don't worry there are more intense scenes to come.

**New Readerx2: **My lips are sealed :)...but I have been dropping easter eggs like crazy, most of them in the Natsuki chapters that people were haranguing me for. And yes, Natsuki needs to stay away or this could get worse.

**Harukasempa14: **OOO I always love your passionate reviews! Oh yeah understanding does not equate right or just. I think that's part of why I love writing Sesshomaru. In the series he was always morally ambiguous. I give no plot away...but easter eggs were laid in mostly Natsuki chapters...muwahahaha and everyone said they were unnecessary LOL!

**Gina: **I'll be honest, I was super excited for the sequel but the way the fandom is behaving is just making me go argh! Honestly I like the angsty beginning. Like something major happened when all the girls are 4. Somehow Towa ends up on the other side of the well and Setsuna loses her memories and where is Sesshomaru? And ahh...It sounds like something I would write...I think people just forgot that Takahashi is an angst writer and that if we don't have enough conflict to propel the series it won't last. But I am also equally worried about it being Boruto. I'll believe it's good when I see it.

**AHHH Itzatakahashi, I have to go back because I know one review of yours I missed and then reposted with the response. I'm going to go check after posting this, but I'm thinking about you! Hope you're doing well! **


	60. YukipastVIRinpastX

**AHHHHH I loaded this and in typical FFN fashion it was like error...So here is take two. I'm doing doubles again. I am about 2 chapters from finishing this story, which I am extremely excited about :).**

**Okay maybe 3 chapters and you know, I'm still not sure how to end it...eeeeks! I have a few ideas in mind and well...it's in my head. **

**I'm going to try to keep posting 2-3 times a week and as soon as this sucker is done, just load the crap out of it. I'm guessing I won't have enough time to really do that until the end of the month when school starts. **

**Yuki-past**

Something scary is happening in the village and no one is telling her what. It's like the adults are all running around like crazed animals.

So Yuki sits with her brothers in her room. For a time her parents considered making Taiyomaru his own room, but Harutoga's was dust filled and used for storage. They all sleep on her futon wrapped in purple or pink sheets. It's been like that since Harutoga was weaned and Yuki was almost six. The same happened when Taiyomaru was weaned.

Now her bed is occupied by Shiori who fell asleep without eating dinner. Her eyes are puckered and red and her cheeks are swollen. It breaks Yuki's heart to see her friend in pain.

She stands up and goes to the door. "I'm going back to the village."

"We aren't allowed to go!" Harutoga gets off her lavender sheets and takes her by the hand. "Can't you listen for once?"

"Tatsuo is dead." She wipes her eyes and approaches the door taking quiet steps. "Shut up, stupid dog will hear us."

"Us? I'm not going with you." Harutoga sits back down and glares at his sister. "Chichiue and Ka-san said we couldn't go anymore because we could get sick! Why can't you listen for once?"

"If you go, I'm telling Katsumoto." Taiyomaru folds his arms over on himself. She wants to tell him that he looks like a ferret with too much fur and pointy nose better fitted for a witch, but now doesn't seem like th time.

"Since when can you fly?" Yuki turns on her brother with a fury. "We can't fly. You're a hanyou, why can you fly?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to. Don't go Yuki, please?"

"You two are idiots," she snarls and hisses at them in warning. She's in charge and she'll make sure they accept it.

"You're going to get us in trouble…again," Taiyomaru reminds her. The last time was when she decided to get into the melon patch without permission. They had snuck off in the middle of the night only to be caught by their father. They all three got it, including a sound spanking for running off. Harutoga was sore for a few days, Taiyomaru for longer than that and Yuki couldn't sit for a week. _I am sick of you defying me, _he had roared at Yuki.

She only sticks her raspberry red tongue out at them as she exits the room. Ka-san called a meeting for that night with the village and she wants to go. Chichiue's gone and no one has any idea where.

Yuki will find out what is happening if it is the last thing that she does. She's already a teenager, and if she had been human, she would probably be getting propositioned for marriage by now. She doesn't bother opening the door to the garden but rather slides open the window and starts removing the blinds so they don't rustle while she makes her way through. After the last one is loose, she gives her idiot brothers the dirtiest face she can manage and leaps out the window. It's pitch black outside, hours past the time they should have been sleeping.

Her Uncle didn't need as much sleep, but he said while his body was still childlike he slept for half the day. She curses the fact that she is already feeling the effects of the exhaustion. It doesn't take long for clumsy footfalls to fall in line behind her. The smell of the forest from Harutoga and snow from Taiyomaru means she doesn't need to look behind her. They make their way around the hot springs and as soon as they are past it and into the daisies, they run as quickly as they can for the village. It's easy to keep their footfalls quiet in the field of daisies that separates the house from the village. The boys catch up and then they are holding hands with Yuki in the middle, breathing in the humid air as they lope onward. "This-" she is about to direct them, only to run into two very sturdy legs that smack into her face and send her flying backwards, knocking into both brothers before she lands on the ground. They land in a pile, Harutoga on the bottom, Taiyomaru in the middle with Yuki on top. She can smell him. Katsumoto, her worst nightmare. He stinks of pine cones and sap and sometimes sake. "Stupid dog," she hisses trying to stand only for him to put his foot down, literally squarely onto her chest forcing her back down.

"You were told to stay home and that the village was off limits."

Yes she was, but she has no intention of following those directions and her brothers are useless statues underneath her, doing nothing. "Idiots."

"Shall I tell your father you defied him? His temper has been foul lately." He wiggles his toes on her chest for emphasis. "Why did you try to come here?"

"I want to hear what Obasan and Ka-san have to say," she says confidently. She's tired of hiding from this illness that is now so close to home that it robbed her of one of her cousins.

He shakes his head, removing his foot, allowing them to stand. "Return home."

"No." She folds her arm and puffs out her chest. Intimidation doesn't work on Katsumoto. She'll have to find some other means of getting him to listen to her. "What about my cousins? What if Taisho and Sota get sick? Chichiue? You?" She's going to kill herself for what she is about to do. She's seen her mother do it to get her father to yield. She bats her eyelashes and lets tears form in the corners of her eyes. She once asked her mother why her father hated seeing her cry so much. Ka-san said it was because he never knew what to do when he saw it. Most of the time her tears were genuine but if she needed him to budge on something, all she had to do was cry and he would yield. "I don't want to die." She wipes her crocodile tears off her cheeks and lets her shoulders shake.

"Yuki?" Taiyomaru pets her shoulder. Even he believes the tears are real.

"Please Katsumoto?" Harutoga joins the begging.

Katsumoto groans and then backs away. His eyes turn red, his face elongates, his arms become black with fur as he leaps into the air and then is a giant black dog. He motions them forward with his nose and she scrambles onto his back. Her brothers follow and then Katsumoto flies with them until they are hovering over the village where the throngs of scared villagers are listening to her aunt.

Kagome stands like a pillar, raised onto a wooden platform that used to be the base of a large tree. The pyres are lit to give light. "We need to separate who is sick and who isn't. The river water is probably already contaminated so don't drink from it. We're going to only take drinking water from the lake from now on and boil it before you drink it. But you can't wash clothes in it anymore and anyone who is sick shouldn't be near it. We need to make sure that everyone is using the outhouses, even the children. And those of you that can dispose of it poison or fire should often so the germs don't build up. Even the yokai. This is how it works for humans. I don't know…" her voice finally breaks. Standing next to her is Sota and Taisho. They hold her shoulders, "I don't know…if it's the same or not. I'm not familiar with this disease."

"Why boil it?" Taiyomaru asks his sister as he sits next to her on the great dog's back.

"I don't know. What does contaminated mean?" Yuki asks Katsumoto.

"It means that it's no longer safe to drink," and that voice makes Yuki shiver. "Boiling water rids it of diseases that will make you sick. Why are you here? I told you to stay at the house!"

He's scary these days and she doesn't like how his voice raises or how angry he looks. "I want to understand what's happening. Tatsuo is dead!" she screams at her father and immediately regrets it. He didn't know and his face falls, his mouth twitches in a way that scares her. He's holding a giant katana in his hand with a moon-shaped back and a twister on the front.

"He's dead?" She's never heard her father sound like this before.

Harutoga and Taiyomaru both nod behind her. Yuki stands up and notices a shift in Katsumoto. Almost like he is telling her it will be okay through the temperature of his fur against her feet. "No one is telling us anything."

His eyes close and she isn't sure what color they will be when they open. His yoki is rising, his fists shake and she wants to run but they are so high up in the air, he would catch her before she hits the ground and if he didn't, she probably wouldn't survive. "Take them home," he says so coldly it makes her shiver as he turns his back on them and flies away.

"We need to grow the ingredients for Shochi. We've sent for the fox demons. Anyone who is contact with the sick needs to cover their face and sanitize themselves afterwards," Ka-san says as Katsumoto flies them back to their home. She shivers and rubs her shoulders thinking it's the fear that is doing it to her. Until she sees that Harutoga and Taiyomaru have melded themselves together and their lips are blue. She blows out a puff of air, seeing her breath. "It's cold?" She curls in on herself, snuggling into Katusmoto's fur, afraid of what is to come. Will she die like her cousin an her uncle? Why is this happening to them?

**Rin-Past**

She stands like a sentinel, eyes ablaze, holding in the sorrow of losing Tatsuo. He told her that a disease would come, their children will get sick and so will he. _Why didn't you tell me the cure, my love? What were you trying to protect? _As she listens to the rest of the instructions she pulls Nobuatsu aside to speak to him about their herbs. They whisper quietly about what they have and what they don't have and what they need to keep people alive. "When you were treating Inuyasha what did you give him."

"Lavender, Eucalyptus, thousand year berries. I have a small store of their seeds but," he raises his hand into the air, then blew out cold air. "Winter?"

Against her will, she shivers as the temperature rapidly drops. The humans in the crowd huddle closely to their children and the fires just as a tornado of power lands in front of Kagome.

Rin would breathe a sigh of relief, if he didn't look so angry. All eyes track to Sesshomaru, their leader, the one who has given them sanctuary. She knows the halberd he holds in his hand and even seeing it unearths memories that make her stagger and want to flee. She covers her eyes and is about to make a break for it when she feels a firm hand on her elbow. Thinking it is Nobuatsu she turns only to find soft-honey, colored eyes and magenta stripes on the hand that holds her. With the other hand he stabs the halberd into the wooden platform in the middle of the field and says loudly, "until a cure is found. The village will remain in an eternal winter. The barrier will be lifted daily to allow the sick to enter. Only humans will care for the sick. Any who are caught disregarding the quarantine will be killed. This Sesshomaru, will show no mercy. There is no time for mercy, only life."

Then he flies Rin into a hut, disorienting her. There are barrels of shochi and buckets of water in the dimly lit hut. She picks up a flintstone and smacks it against the hearth in the center, only making sparks. Her fingers shiver in the dark. "I'm going to get Nintojo."

"Rin," he says gently while grasping her elbow.

"I know," she says quietly. She needs to clean him and she needs his help before they return to their children. "Tatsuo is dead." She turns and crashes into his chest.

He embraces her and whispers next to her ear, "I know."

Moments pass as they mourn the loss of their nephew. The wedding had been extravagant and left her exhausted. She spent the days before setting flower arrangements. The staff made fancy plates of rice, vegetables and brought in the meats of wild-animals for the demon guests, not that there were many humans besides Sango, Miroku and their children, grand-children and families. Kagome had spoken over and over again how her mother was filled with sorrow to miss the wedding, but she brought strange devices she taught Shippo and several other fox-demons to use. Things called, cameras. Some made moving pictures and others pictures of Rin and Sesshomaru and their children. It was a joyous and happy occasion filled with dancing and drinking. Even drunk Sesshomaru was stoic until they ended up in their bedroom together and he sloppily pulled her clothes off and made the most sensuous and humorous love to her.

She pulls back and kisses his lips. "It's okay, my love." His forehead rests against hers.

"It's not," he breaths heavily.

She presses her palm against his chest. "It will be. You'll find the cure, I have faith in you."

"Your faith is misplaced." He removes her hand as he speaks. "Go find Nintojo. Is Jaken ill?"

"Yes." She wipes a tear from her eyes and says again, more firmly than before, "I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself right now."

She leaves the hut to find a small line of people waiting. Their clothes will have to be washed and even that she didn't think about before she left for the day. In the future, extra sets of clothing will have to be left in the hut, _of course that would make it easier to identify who should be there and who shouldn't be. I'll bring the maid uniforms from home. _ "Sesshomaru-sama will be cleansed first," she says loudly. She hates her official voice, but it is what it is. They are a Lord and Lady of their home. "You will all have to wait."

She stops by Akari who is among the throngs of people instead of at the house where she should be. "You shouldn't be here. You could get sick."

Akari exhales heavily. "If I didn't listen to what they said I probably would be. Can I move my family to the manor? None of us are showing signs of illness."

"She has a point Obasan," Taisho follows. "Whoever isn't sick, in my Ka-san's time, they go to places called, hospitals. Even if we keep people in two separate camps, the air, the ground, anything. We don't know who will get sick, the least we can do is move those that aren't sick and put them in the field in front of the public entrance."

She mulls over the idea, staring at her terrified villagers. "Do it Taisho, Akari, after you've sterilized yourselves. But take nothing with you that you don't need. We'll house everyone tonight in the public dining-hall. Tomorrow you'll cut fresh wood for the new homes and Akari," she grabs her hand, "stay away from the sick, please? I don't want to lose you."

"All will be as it should, Rin-sama," she says firmly and continues waiting.

She runs across the field into the den of the sick. The imps stink of like the fevers that are plaguing them. The ones that are the worst smell of blood and excrement. She covers her mouth and calls, "Jaken! Jaken!"

"Over here!"

It comes from inside one of the huts and sounds more pathetic and weak than she has heard before. She runs into the dimly lit hut to see him leaning over a sick imp-child trying to get liquids in her mouth. "Jaken? I need Nintojo to light a fire."

He hands it to her without looking at her. "She won't drink?"

He shakes his head and wipes tears from his eyes. "If they don't drink they die faster."

"Okay…I'll make broths, will that help?"

"It might. Rin?" He turns around hugs her around the waist. "I'm sick!" The tears spill over the side of his pale green cheeks, down his face.

"I won't let you die Jaken." She kneels down to return his embrace. "Remember when the Saimyosho bit you? I went and climbed a cliff to save you? I'll climb over whatever mountain I have to, to save you."

He nods against her.

"I have to go, Sesshomaru is waiting for me."

"You better hurry then. His aura is foul right now. He needs you."

"You can feel it too, huh? It's like a dark cloud is resting on his shoulders." She takes Nintojo and jogs back to the hut where the smell of shochi is so strong, she wonders how it's not bothering the noses of the sentinels or the others with sensitive smell.

She finds him already naked when she enters, stripped down to just his fundoshi which leaves little to the imagination. He leans over his own armor with a white cloth, slushing water from a bucket over it until he is sure that every corner has been disinfected. "I am helping the ill," he says so plainly as his eyes gaze at the wall.

She nods. "Okay."

"You don't worry, I'll get sick?"

She shrugs her shoulders as she gathers another rag in her hand and dips it in the mixture. She starts on his back and shoulder, while he wipes down his katanas. "No," she answers quietly.

He stops turning on her. "Do you want me to die?"

"No," she says offended. "Kami, Sesshomaru. After all we've been through together, why would I want that?"

"She kissed me."

"I know that. She misses him."

He nods continuing his work on his katanas while she rubs the cloth over his lower back. She tugs on his fundoshi. "We should wash this just to be safe."

"Or because you wish to see me naked?" He smirks back at her.

She touches the corner of his mouth with her thumb. "There it is. I was wondering if your smile would be lost forever. I could make it more enticing to remove this." She bites the back of his ear, just at the tip and hears a menacing growl in return. "You liked that." She giggles against his shoulder while she reaches behind her back and unties her obi. She wears only one layer, when she works in the gardens, especially in the summer, which is why she is so cold. She lets it fall to her legs and leans around his heated back, kissing his shoulders. Her nipples pucker from the cold. "My love."

"My heart." He lifts one of her hands up to his lips, licking the shochi water off her fingertips. "You're cold."

She tugs on his fundoshi again, this time fully intent on loosening them to remove the cloth and wash them in one of the buckets. "Let me touch you," she seduces him. As soon as the garment is removed, she lowers her hands against his shaft and holds him as he grows in her palm. "Do you think they'll hear us."

"I am not the one that makes the majority of the noise."

"Mmh," she says with a snigger, "then I guess we'll see if I can make you howl."

He stands up turning around, completely bare to her. "Clean me first, then I you."

"Okay." She jumps up and pecks his lips, forcing back a wave of mourning.

"My heart, did the halberd disturb you?" He knows she loves it when he calls her that.

She pauses before pressing the cloth into his chest. "It's been years. Why did you chill the village?"

"Cold chills a fever. There are too many to line in the river. It must remain cold to break the fevers of those sick until we are able to find a cure."

She nods and begins to wipe his chest. Droplets of water drip down his chest muscles, down his abs and off his erection. She wipes his stomach and sides until she is satisfied they are completely soaked in the water and shochi mixture. She teases him down his stomach and stops at his pelvis when he leans himself into her touch. "I felt your fear." He rests his forehead against hers as his arms wrap around her shoulders. "My heart, did you have a flashback? Mmh," he groans as her hand dips down and she rubs the cloth against the sensitive skin around his shaft and then along it directly, soaking him.

"Flashback?" She grips his shoulders under his arms.

He pinches her chin to open her mouth as he leans into a kiss that nearly knocks her over. "Images of the past. It's a medical term."

"In one of your books?"

He nods pressing his mouth against hers. "You're safe my heart."

She trembles under his touch, as if it's the first time they have made love. "Sesshomaru." She hugs him tightly. For a moment, she wonders how everyone is fairing, waiting for them to finish.

"My legs," he tells her. She reaches down and wets the cloth again, this time wiping his legs and backside. He lifts one leg and then the other to ensure that even his feet are clean.

She glances up at him as he stares off in the distance somewhere and then pinches the skin in between his big toe and little toe, daring to see if he was ticklish there. He stumbles on the wooden boards of the hut and catches himself against a barrel glaring at her. She cackles before she is hefted up and she can stop him, the entire bucket of cleanser is dumped on her head. "Ahhh!" she protests jumping from the cold. "You!"

"You started it," he reminds her playfully as he rubs the mixture into her hair. "You will need to cut this to keep it clean." He balls her hair into a fist up to her shoulders. "Shall I cut it?"

"Not now." She pulls her hair back.

He takes a rag and starts on her front. He runs the cloth over her breasts, rubbing her nipples vigorously, then up her neck, around the tender skin behind her as she turns, he cleans her back. The cloth falls down her waist, around her navel, over her hips, her backside, and then he is on his knees with another smile on his face.

"This is too tender." He runs a clawed finger from the top of one lip to the back, then kisses her slit. "Give me your leg." He tugs on the back of one knee to get her to lift it.

She regrets the motion, the moment her heel rests on his knee, because a vice-grip holds her ankle in place while she giggles as he tickles the bottom of her foot. She loses her balance and flops against the wall of the hut in laughter. "I can't believe you."

"Again," he says huskily, "you started it."

"I guess I will have to finish it." She gives him her other leg long enough for him to clean it then launches herself into his chest and embraces his lips. "I love you."

"And I you." He pulls them both to standing.

She bites down hard on his collar bone where she knows he likes it, just near the joint and then licks her way across his chest until she hits his peck and swirls her tongue in a circle around it. He leans back against one of the barrels as she works her way down his body, nipping an ab muscle, his ribs, and then coming down to his shaft, she sucks on the tip, then takes him in until she feels it tickle the back of her throat. Her tongue slides underneath, flicking the sensitive piece of skin right near the tip of his erection.

Fingers feather into her hair and she feels him fighting his body to thrust into her mouth. She sucks harder until she can taste salt and he pulls her off. "Enough," he pushes her back against the wall of the hut. She knows it's her turn now and she can't stop herself from dancing. She is both cold on the outside and burning in her core. _He will find the cure…he just needs me to believe in him. _She doesn't want to think about how dark his personality has become since he lost his brother or how rarely they do what they are doing now.

"Rin-sama?" she hears Hisato call from outside the hut and suddenly she wonders where he has been lately.

She arches, nearly falling over as his lips cover her nipples. She bites her lower lip to keep from moaning in pleasure. His tongue darts and flicks until it's hard in his mouth and he switches to the other, massaging her. "We're nearly…finished…Hisato," she pants out of breath.

"Are we?" Sesshomaru asks darkly. "You didn't make me howl. Shall we turn this game on you? Can you keep from screaming?" His tongue darts out and slides from the middle of her breasts, along the muscles of her stomach, into her navel until he begins to lick a pattern on the skin of her abdomen, just above her curls.

She grips the sides of the walls with her nails, then his shoulders, because she needs something to hold onto as his fingers run lightly up and down her slit as he continues to lick lines on her stomach. "Do you know what I'm writing?"

She hadn't noticed before that the patterns were letters and as he starts again, she pays closer attention. "Red string?" she asks him and nearly sings when his tongue dips down, into her slit and wiggles against her clit.

"We are fated." He grabs her hips possessively and sucks, while dragging one hand down her buttocks, onto her knee, pulling it over his shoulder. "Whatever happens," he gazes back at her, more vulnerable than she has seen him in the past. "I will find you my heart." He sucks again, burning a hole through her middle. "My soul." Two fingers insert inside her and begin to pump against the tender flesh that engorges when she aroused. "Rin," he sings her name as he holds her and wraps his tongue around her clit. "Come for me," he mutters against her.

"You won't die my love," she pants out, rocking her hips into his fingers. He knows exactly where to touch her and which places has her biting her bottom lip to keep from screaming. He touches it over and over, pumping and pushing until she feels herself go so hot, she wants to escape, just before the pleasurable pulsing comes. He doesn't wait, continuing to hold her leg up, he lifts her up around her buttocks, pushing her back against the hut as he pushes his shaft into her wet folds. He slides in, as if he was made to fit her, she can feel herself gripping him. She grinds her hips into his making the feeling that much more intense as she comes close to orgasming against him again. She throws her head back while he kisses and bites down on her neck. She moans softly into his ears as he pumps into her open hips while he holds her. She knows he likes it when her legs are wide and she submits herself to him. There is something more, something possessive this time as he beats into her.

"I will find you again," he says. His tongue slides up her neck and they come together. His nose rubs into her skin, through her hair until their foreheads rest together. "I will find you."

"You will not die my love. You won't. You will find the cure. I have faith in you."

"Share my pain." He floods her with the pain buried deep in his heart and buries his eyes in her neck.

A stream of tears washes over her shoulders, down her back. He stays engaged while she pulses against him and she comforts his tears. "I love you."

He nods unable to speak. The pain is to great but not just that, an emotion she has never felt from him before. Fear.

**Please Review! You guys are the best audience ever. I am so encouraged by all your reviews and how devoted to this story you have been. **

**We only have a few POV's left for part 2. AKA the Storm, next is Part 3 Ashes and then Part 4, Renewal. I finally figured out this week. I think Part 1 is the longest and part 2 and 3 medium and part 4 short. As for estimate of chapters...I'm not sure. **

**Mechinex2: **Hello! Thank you for your reviews! Katsumoto is simply because he's ill and also needs the donor. Sesshomaru's main reason for rejecting Nina was to give her the space she needs to grow up and allow her mature without his influence. He doesn't want to influence Nina's choices in life.

**New Readerx2:** HAHA Sesshomaru is a complicated being. He's incredibly morally ambiguous in my stories, which I feel is in character for him. It honestly wasn't my intention to leave the easter eggs in those chapters, it's just where it needs to be. Which is hilarious because people were so mad they were missing them until I said go back and read again.

**Kimmigirl9:** It could be either one, Rin or a vision of his dreams.

**Itzatakahashi:** Thank you! Yes...Sesshomaru doesn't know if he is going to live or die. So why make the choice to ask Nina to say if he can't be there for her and also Natsuki is still bonded to him so what is he going to do? I can't wait to get more posted for you to read.

**Smmahamzing:** You get it! I love that you get it! I could never write the "perfect couple" because it doesn't exist. Everyone has imperfections and that's so important to acknowledge them. And also the times. Sengoku was hell and there mixed couples from Rumiko's Lore were never accepted.

**Ivriel:** HAHA you will see what happens during that five years. Or at least what leads up to it. HEHE Sesshomaru can piss you off :). He's morally ambiguous in my stories and I tend to like that because he was the same in the stories. But also...if we only look at things from Rin's point of view, we tend to miss that he is also feeling things.

**Harukasempai14:** HEHE I love your theories, but they are sooooo off. I literally know what it the professionals feel like now when people are like, was it this? Was it that? So whether or not it's actually Rin...well that's up for debate and can be interpreted how you want. Whether or not Natsuki weaseled her way in is yet to be seen and whether or not one can come to understand Sesshomaru's motivations won't be revealed until the end. But seriously I always love your passionate reviews. I'm not entirely sure what's happening in the fandom now. I've heard a lot of this and that happened X amount of years ago but right now, people are taking it to the level of iff you don't accept Sessrin than you are a bad person and I will harass you. And the antis are doing the same from the other end. Which at the end of the day is just people fighting with each other. I'm not sure it's actually worth all this drama. These are cartoon characters and escapism not real life.


	61. Kagome-Past VII

**Has everyone seen the new trailer for Yashahime? I'm so excited. I spent the entire night squeeing because of it. I'm very excited for the sequel but also slightly nervous because I have no idea what's going to happen.**

**SO I was going to post right after in celebration but my life once again went a bit crazy. So now this chapter is in honor of 2 things...1...I just finished writing this story last night...and 2...Yashahime debuts on 10/3/2020!**

**Hurray :)**

**Kagome-past**

Jealousy is an unpleasant emotion. He should be here so those grunts and groans of pleasure aren't so painful to hear. It's obvious they are both trying to stifle them and the rough slight sway of the wooden walls of the hut. Each crash makes her miss the nights Inuyasha would hold her, the roughness of his fingers against her skin and how he had memorized her body and she his.

It's been three years. Here, she would be considered a harlot if she did more than take care of her needs in the middle of the night. She shrugs, glancing at the line of people she needs to instruct how to sterilize themselves. The noises grow louder and she knows it obvious what is going on in there. "Come on. Hurry up already."

Hisato chuckles next to her. "They sound very involved."

Kagome rolls her eyes and tries to laugh.

"Is that jealousy I smell?" Hisato places a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't you dare say anything." She leans against the wall of the hut, using her senses to locate where the yoki is the strongest and at least stop the roof from shaking. She feels herself burning again, with a need she can't satisfy herself.

"If you have an itch as Gobodo-sama calls it, why not scratch it?" he asks curiously.

Kagome winces, wondering it was that obvious. "Because it's not proper."

"Why?"

"Because it's not." She presses harder against the wall when her weight doesn't work. It rumbles and shakes, making hay fall from the roof. "You know what, can you lean right here?" She points to the spot next to her.

He comes over and leans his elbow against the wall, stabilizing the bouncing. "My brother would scratch your itch."

"Eww! No," but the idea is appetizing. She'd seen him before with his shirt off and the idea isn't immediately repulsive. "I hate you."

He laughs in return. "It's a natural need. Especially once it's already began."

"He better not get me pregnant."

"It would be too dangerous to do so." Hisato presses harder against the wall as one last harder thuds shakes some of the hay on top loose. "If he doesn't love you, he will kill you. We may not be pure-blooded but it's enough to lose control."

"Yeah but I could purify that. Just tell him not to."

"So I should send my brother to you tonight?"

She nods, guiltily but she is a woman and has needs and sometimes the burning is so strong it doesn't matter how she touches herself, the release isn't strong enough without a warm body there. But then she sees Taisho inside the hut with Sota. They burned Tatsuo's body earlier and she fears that she will lose her sons to this illness. "Taisho!" she calls stupidly, knowing it's already too late and he's been exposed. Never the less, she runs up to him and says, "you shouldn't be here."

Sayako is asleep on a tabi-mat, breathing easier now that the wind has chilled the village. She feels the cold but numbness makes anything difficult to penetrate the shield she has around herself.

"I'm already exposed Ka-san. I touched his body before it was burned. I helped Sota clean up and he isn't sick. He's been around everyone. If it was going to kill him, he would be dead already."

"Taisho!?"

"No!" he yells back at her. "Ka-san, I have been here for years without you. Years with Ojisama now. You can't come here and tell me how to live my life. It's mine, and if I want to risk it by helping the ones that are sick then I will!"

She screams frustrated as bright light exits the hut and then Hisato motions for her to come. "You're going to have to wash your whole body and clean your clothes."

"I will."

She exhales staring at Sota as he sits next to his sick lover. "Sota?"

"I'm okay Ka-san. You can go." He lays down and brings her to his chest. "Sayako."

It takes several hours for her to cleanse everyone and have clean clothes brought. On her way out she instructs the villagers to build two more huts with two exits instead of one. The first for when they go in and the second for when they leave. There is only so much to do with the medicine that is available. Now there are changes of clothing that have been as sanitized as they can manage and dried. Everyone will go in and change into the house clothes from the manor and leave them to be cleaned when they leave. But there is more, she needs to know how this disease works and is sadly all too familiar with it.

She watched it devour Inuyasha for two years. She starts her hike back to the manor, huddling in on herself, when she feels a semi-strong rush of yoki land next to her. An arm wraps around her waist and she is bundled in black fur that heats her skin. "Sato." The air moves more quickly as she is carried over the ground.

"I heard you have a problem," he purrs in her ear, licking the skin of her neck.

She shivers away from the contact when she feels lips chuckle against her ear.

"No need to be bashful Miko. I'll be gentle."

"Not now, I need to speak to Sesshomaru." And yet he is here and ready and it's already late.

Sato lands with her inside the public dining room, releasing her and trailing behind her as she walks to the right where a new corridor was built with rooms for her and Taisho and even a spare for Mayumi and Izayoi, should the well start working again. She enters as he keeps his distance ducking into her room when no one is looking. He immediately begins disrobing, "is there anything in particular you like?"

Kagome scoffs, turning around to find him naked from the waist up. "I…never really did this with anyone else besides him."

"I have not been with a Miko before if that helps." He approaches her making her breath hitch. "No need to be scared."

"It's not fear," she lies and somewhat tells the truth. It's guilt that she is using someone else to comfort the pain she feels.

"You aren't betraying him." He reaches behind her and tugs on her yellow obi. "Tell me what you like."

Her breath catches when her obi falls and her kimono spreads in front of him. It was hot out and underneath all she has left is a withered, black sports bra and panties.

He touches the top of her bra with his claw and curious gold eyes. "What is this?"

"A bra."

"Bra?" he tests the word on his lips. "It looks like it is squeezing you."

"It's meant to," her words catch in her throat, when he grazes the tops of her breasts with his teeth. He leaves marks on her skin with his fangs and sucks apologetically against the injuries he's caused.

The contact has Kagome hissing in pleasure and dancing on the balls of her feet. Timidly she lifts a hand and cups the top of his head. His hair is not like his brother's. Sato wears it short, spikey and somehow it makes the demon standing in front of her that much more attractive.

He leans one hand over her shoulder against the wall. "These other things Rin-sama wears." He tugs lightly on her underwear. "You're beautiful for a human that is nearly forty, may I kiss your mouth?"

"What?" She struggles to breathe. She can see his pants bulging around his legs, yearning for freedom. His eyes are different than Sesshomaru's. They are lined with black markings around the golden orbs and slashes of magenta.

He leans in closer, so his lips ghost over hers. "Amongst our kind, kisses on the mouth are reserved for lovers. Is it for love you want to lay with someone tonight, or is it simply the release?" Sato's lowers his triple striped hand into her underwear and presses against her slit with the back of his hand. "You are already wet. Is it that bad?"

She is wet and burning and has been since she kissed Sesshomaru not understanding what the hell she was thinking. She moves closer and embraces his lips in hers, cupping his masculine, squared chin. He returns the kiss, his tongue dancing against her own. He pulls back and asks again, "Is it love you want tonight?"

"You don't love me."

"No, but I have seen your tears, in the forest when you think no one is looking. In the village. The garden. You miss your dead lover."

"How do you know that?" she whispers. "Have you been watching me?"

"Watching is my job." He pushes his lips back into hers and pushes her sleeves off her shoulders. She wraps her arms around his neck. He lifts her up by the back of her legs, to wrap around his waist. His hands run up the back of her legs, under her underwear, massaging her bottom. His mouth comes down her neck, clamping down tenderly, while she surrenders to him. The heat is more than she can bear. He presses himself into her, feeling the moisture and heat through his grey hikama. She throws her head back as his mouth rests between her breasts. He delicately kisses the tops of her mounds. "Is there an easy way to remove this garment?"

Her legs come down and they part enough for Kagome to pull the black bra over her head and slide her underwear off her legs. "It's been three years." She watches hypnotized as Sato slips his hikama off. Three years with no intimate contact, three years of mourning and tears and she wants and can't stop herself. She doesn't want to stop herself, even as his muscular, robust body comes back to her. He also has stripes on his abs, instead of pointing down to his groin like his brother, they start at his hips and flare out up his sides. His shaft is heavy and she can't help but touch it, making him groan.

The tainted one is built, with bulbs down his stomach but he is not as lean as Sesshomaru or Inuyasha. He is thicker around the waist and even has a trail of hair that crosses his chest like a T and then traces a path down his stomach. He pulls her onto the futon, their feet stepping onto the soft sheets. "Shall I treat you like you are a virgin."

"How many of those have you been with?"

"At least three." He holds her hand out so he can look at her and twirls her around, licking his lips.

A wave of morning washes over her as she is spun, but it hurts and she wants to bury the pain.

He pulls her to him and says tenderly, "if you don't want this we can stop. There are other women I could bed tonight."

"That makes me feel great Sato, thank you." She exhales. "It's just different."

"It's just release. Go on all fours."

"Why?"

"You didn't do it this way?"

"We did, but normally after I climaxed."

"I have every intention of making you feel good. If you won't tell me what you like, then I will experiment until your need is satisfied."

Her cheeks burn so red the blush spreads to her arms. She wraps her arms around his neck again. "I liked…it feels so strange talking about this with you."

"Do you like this?" He lifts a leg over his hip as he stands and presses his fingers inside her.

She feels the heat of his fingers combine with her own and how easily they slip in. She moans into his neck. They feel foreign and new. "Yes." She humps his hand.

"And if I do this?" He adds a thumb, circling her clit.

"Yes," she purrs into his neck. "Sato?"

"Tell me Miko. Tell me how to make you feel good," he embraces her lips again with his own.

She falls backwards on the bed pulling him down on top of her with his fingers still engaged in her weeping core. Her hips follow the movement of his hands. "Do you like to be licked?"

He keeps up his ministrations with his fingers while rocking his hips into hers. Her eyes dilate as she stares up at him, a practical stranger that she has only spoken to in passing. "Yes," she begs him. This is what she wanted and it feels so good it has to be wrong. He bites down on her nipple, making her squirm, then swirls his tongue around the brown tip. He sucks and licks as she arches into his mouth, gripping his thick sides.

He traces circles down her stomach, nipping here, kissing her hip bones until he comes down to her curls. Her body is on fire, the trail of his tongue is like a torch against her skin. His fingers make her clench and tighten. She spreads for him, flowering, sucking his fingers back in. "Do you like it here?"

"Yes." She grips his shoulders until her knuckles turn white. Her walls are already tense from what he has done to her.

"Go on all fours," he says with a smirk.

"Sato please?"

"Do it." He sits up, erection very apparent between his legs. "Put your hips over my face."

"You are entirely too comfortable with this," she tells him as she straddles his face.

"Just enjoy what I do to you." He reaches one hand out and pinches her nipple. She groans leaning forward only to feel a warm hand catch the small of her back and fingers to enter again. He tugs her hips down over his mouth and then she can feel the wet tongue on her clit. He is more aggressive than Inuyasha was and she can't help but rock her hips harder into his mouth as he creates the suction she so desperately wants from him.

She moans as the heat intensifies and her walls become like rocks. "Sato," she squeezes the sheets. "Please!"

He finds what she needs and presses his fingers against her swelling core, making her convulse against him.

"Oh! Oh!" she cries out, not caring if someone hears her. Her muscles tighten around his fingers as he lets her ride out her orgasm. She feels him tugging her hips down until she is near his erection. It doesn't take convincing for her to sit down on top of him. He stretches walls that have not been used in three years. "Oh," she grasps his shoulders and begins rocking her hips into his. For a moment there is a sting and she gasps.

"Miko," he growls holding her butt in his hands. "So wet," he pushes into her. "Lean over." He pulls her down over him and sucks her nipples. "Do you want to climax again?"

"Yes." Against her will a tear falls from her eyes.

Sato flicks it from her cheek and shoves himself inside of her again. "You are not betraying him."

He brings her hand down to her clit. He helps her find a rhythm as he keeps the pressure of his shaft inside of her.

Her body is on fire, she rubs herself roughly, in rapid motions until she is clenching on his lap. This time she howls, from the fire and from the release, collapsing on his chest, she finds warmth against his skin. She wipes her eyes, "Sato?"

"What?" He strokes her back, still engaged and sniffs her hair.

"Can you stay for a bit?"

"So it was love you were looking for." He presses his lips against her forehead as she slides off him, dripping down his stomach. "Get me a cloth to clean myself then yes. I can stay for a short time."

"This isn't love Sato." She rises and gets a bundle of cloths and dips them into a bucket of water cleaning herself and tossing one on his stomach.

"No it isn't. But your welcome to find comfort in my arms."

She crawls back up the bed to him and lays down against his chest. "My grandson died."

"I know."

"My daughter in-law is sick." The tears come again. "I'm so scared."

"So am I," he says soberly, tightening his grip on her shoulders. "The end has come for my kind."

She sleeps for several hours against his chest, pretending that he is Inuyasha and that it's all been one bad dream after another. The banging wakes her up and so does being dropped on the bed. "Hisato," Sato cracks the door completely naked.

"Sato!" Kagome shrieks diving for her underlayer and swirling into it not so gracefully, hoping that Hisato doesn't get a view of her while she dresses.

"Sesshomaru-sama and Rin-sama need the Miko. I held them off for a bit. They expect her now and he will come looking if I return empty handed again."

Sato shuts the door and turns to his pile of clothing, dressing in silence.

She watches him oddly entranced by his actions. He touches her chin and kisses his fingers on the way out. She leaves moments after him in a vain attempt to make it look like she wasn't with him. But it's in vain because Taisho is standing outside the door. "Him?"

"It didn't mean anything," she says quickly.

"First, you tell me not to expose myself. Now you have sex with Sato?"

Kagome takes a very deep breath and says firmly, "Taisho. If I don't get an opinion in your life, you don't get one in mine."

She can readily see the anger wafting off the boy. Although at twenty three he can barely be called a boy anymore and she wonders what female will steal his heart. "You think this is what he would have wanted?"

"It's what I wanted." Kagome pushes past him, aggravated and more than annoyed.

"Slut."

She almost thinks she misses it but turns around and slaps her son her across the face as hard as she can. "Don't you dare! You…you have no idea what it's been like for me the last three years without your father! None! It hurts and I'm tired of sleeping in an empty bed! Dammit Taisho!"

He holds is face that burns with the red mark his mother left him. He stalks away.

She cups her hand to her chest as she goes down the family corridor in the center of the public dining hall and follows the ferocious yoki emanating from Sesshomaru's study. He sits with Rin close to his side and Harutoga in his lap. If he only knew that he was going to become a doctor and heal the sick. She wishes she had a camera to catch the tender moment. "It's late, Harutoga what are you doing up?" she asks as she walks in.

"I can't sleep. My stomach hurts. Are we going to die?" The little one says while curling into the safety of his father's chest.

"Not if we can help it." Kagome enters, ignoring the lack of decorum and sits down at the table on the other end of Sesshomaru. Her cheeks flush again when she sees him eyeing her curiously. She hates their noses, how she hates the nose of a dog-demon that reveals all your secrets. "Um…I was asleep. Why do you need me?"

"Sleep," Sesshomaru scoffs, a sheen of red crossing over his eyes. "Is that what you call it?"

"For god's sake Sesshomaru!" Kagome slams her fist down on the table. "Not like the entire village didn't hear you making the hut shake while you banged Rin!"

"Kagome-sama!" Rin screams with her hands on her hips.

"Banged?" Sesshomaru asks.

"Banged, fucked…why can't you learn a few new words. Why do I have to be stuck here! I don't know why I even bother with you, if all you're going to do is make judgements about what I choose to do with my life!"

"What's going on?" Rin asks Sesshomaru.

"She and Sato have been intimate."

"What?" Rin's voice peaks matching Kagome's. "Did you enjoy it?"

"You're encouraging her?" Sesshomaru questions.

"Why not? It's been years."

"She should forget my brother?"

"This from the guy who spent a decent amount of time trying to kill him!" Kagome flares at Sesshomaru, wanting to grab her spiritual power and see how much pain she can cause him. "You bastard, you knew!"

"Knew what?" He stands, his yoki rises to match her.

She knows he can feel the threat of her power coming over him. "You knew he would die and you didn't tell me!"

"Impossible!"

But it's Rin who breaks it by slapping Kagome across the face and shaking her head so vehemently that she snaps back to herself. "He would want you to move on," Rin encourages her.

"This wasn't moving on. This was relief," Kagome spits it sourly. "That's all it was. Sesshomaru, how can you be hurt on his behalf? It was just relief. Tatsuo died and you weren't even here!"

"Stop it!" Rin stands up. "All of you. This isn't helping. We can't fight amongst ourselves right now. That isn't going to save lives. We need to sit down and figure out how to stop this before it gets worse."

"It's going to get worse," Kagome says heartlessly.

Rin glares at Kagome.

Sesshomaru seats himself again.

"You are such a judgmental ass," Kagome fumes as she sits. "We both know after she dies where you will be going and you'll sit and act like you're the king of being right! How long will you wait? A day? Three days? A month? Will you even mourn her death?"

He snarls, baring his teeth.

She isn't afraid. She could take him down and she knows it. "Miko I would choose your words wisely."

"Stop!" Rin finally breaks down. "Can't you see this isn't helping?" She picks up the book from the future with the notes on epidemiology and sets it in the middle of the table and all the other books and notes that he has written over the years. "Now that books says we need to find out who patient one was."

"We know who it was, don't we Sesshomaru?" Kagome wipes her eyes.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru speaks blandly as he takes out a quill and ink, writing it on a large piece of parchment. "After that it travelled to the imps, the ogres in the south and the West to my kind."

"But it wasn't contagious when Inuyasha had it," Rin adds. "Everyone was around him."

"So then the peddler hadn't perfected the toxin or whatever it was by then," Kagome says.

The quill paints the paper with their notes.

"The symptoms begin with a fever and malaise," Sesshomaru intones quietly. "Blisters at the bottom of the feet and a rash that spreads. I have not seen the end Miko."

"It spreads to the hands, face and legs, when it reaches the heart," she covers her eyes. "I'm sorry…when…I can't."

"Tatsuo died from vomiting up blood," Rin supplies quietly. "This hurts."

"Chichiue?" Harutoga says from next to his father and everyone turns to him. "Will I die?"

"I will not allow it."

Kagome snorts, knowing that no matter what, the child in front of her will survive but the question is, when he will become sick and when will Sesshomaru. "So we know the symptoms. Diarrhea is also a symptom. So we need to feed the ones that are sick foods that keep the stomach calm and keep them hydrated."

"Jaken couldn't get a child to drink," Rin said.

"Electrolytes, the balance of sodium, chloride, potassium, calcium. Meat broths will supply the sodium and the taste for those with a pallet more suited to meat. For children something sweet," Sesshomaru answers easily.

"Orange juice?" Harutoga supplies.

"Too acidic," Kagome answers.

"Grape or Mango. Apples?" Harutoga wonders.

"I'll set to work having the staff who are not infected make those and supply them to the ill. The cold is going to make the humans sick Sesshomaru." Rin touches his wrist.

"Then they will be sick. Their illnesses mean nothing right now."

Kagome flinches at how callous he sounds. _It's only his kind he cares about, how does he go from this to caring about humans? _"Well, what if we hand out warmer clothes to everyone? Rin you have enough wool kimono's to clothe quite a few women."

"I'll make sure the humans in the village have the clothes they need to survive. The ones that aren't sick will come to the public dining hall at night to stay warm. The ones that are will be all demon and need the cold anyway," she says, her voice shaking. "We can do this. Harutoga you cannot go to the village, even when Yuki disobeys. Okay?"

He nods his little head firmly.

"What is that?" Sesshomaru rises from the floor.

"Oh no," Kagome can feel the rise of reiki beating at something and a ferocious amount of yoki following that. "Dammit Taisho!"

"This is because you bedded that tainted bastard!" Sesshomaru yells as he flashes out of the house.

Kagome runs. She can feel the yoki fighting her son's holy powers and she's scared. Taisho is attacking Sato. Did she make a mistake?

**Please review! I swear I felt lemon deprived when I wrote this chapter. Just because sessrin are in a drought doesn't mean we can't read about other characters...but man Kagome just looking for comfort is that right or wrong? Or maybe her business and everyone else is being holier than though.**

**Luin-fanel: **Adults totally forget to explain things to children, especially in a crisis. I'm so glad you like this story and I am so sorry you are suffering from depression. It's so hard right now. Life is just so challenging.

**Mechine:** OOO you will find out when that five year happens :). Yuki and Katsumoto will have an interesting connection. But it's obvious that she annoys the hell out of him LOL.

**New Reader: **But is she weaseling her way in? At the minute, it's been more just manipulation on others part and what she did in the last chapter was helpful, not harmful. You will find out in the end how/if they made/make peace.

**Kimmigirl9: **I loved writing that lemon too, because it wasn't just about sex, it was about emotions too.

**Itzatakahashi: **So true! Sesshomaru needs Rin to stay sane but doesn't realize it and is obsessed with saving his people. All he can think about is how to leave a remnant behind.

**Smmahamazing: **I get so much pleasure out of making Yuki a little shit. I feel vindicated because of how Towa is portrayed. It makes me laugh and also it seems that Moroha isn't going to be an adorably well behaved baby either. Yeah both these boys have a hard time talking about emotion.

**Harukasempai14: **Yuki is totally the polar opposite of Taka. In fact in a later chapter, or already mentioned at some point, Sesshomaru in the present makes a comment about Taka being more like Rin and Yuki more like Natsuki. OMG...yes you are very good at distinguishing between the characters and the author. And one of the most amazing things about being a writer, especially in this kind of story, is I get to say what the character thinks and feels, and how it's interpreted is all up to my readers. So it's not necessary for me to go in and correct people that often. The fandom wars are insane out there right now and both sides of the sessrin argument are making it worse. The antis are over the top and so are many of the sessrin's who push their agenda. I do love your passion, even if I don't agree with all of it, but again it's how you interpret the writing and that's okay too.


	62. Sessh Present XMayumi Present VI

**AHHHH hello wonderful people! I swear I say this on every chapter, but I mean it when I say I have the most amazing readers ever! **

**But I do have the best readers. You guys are so supportive and so sweet and even when you feel those feelings! You are amazing. **

**I am so giddy with the responses from that last chapter. When I wrote it, my mind was very much on okay Kagome is a woman and has needs and she is in so much pain from losing Inuyasha, her grandson and being separated from her daughters. So instead she choses to relieve some of those emotions and then when I was writing it...I was like...how are her kids going to react? Sota just lost his son Tatsuo and his wife is sick, so they're gonna be in the hut and not know. Taisho regularly circles the house and I think is in his early 20's now, unbonded, unmarried and also in pain and totally didn't get why she made the choice.**

**And that blow out with Sesshomaru...OMG I loved writing that because I know she is madder than hell not at Past Sesshomaru, but future and only one of them is available to blow up on right now. So she was totally dropping hints like crazy.**

**And the Taka/Yuki/Katsumoto trio...ooo I'm loving all your theories and they are all soooo off. LOL but lets keep guessing. This is fun. **

**Sesshomaru-Present**

Dreams can be curses. Nina is gone and he is relieved. When Rin first died, he dreamt of her nightly. He pretended she was with him in the moments he spent with Natsuki. She would cry from the tenderness he would show her until he orgasmed crying Rin's name and not hers. Those usually ended with him getting raked by her claws and having to gauze his back to hide the lacerations until they healed and he found Natsuki in the bowels of the castle of the sky crying, because no matter what she did, she could never attain the love he had for Rin. And what could he do? He didn't love her. He blamed her for lost time, for not being Rin.

Then the dreams slowed and ceased all together. It had easily been a decade or more since he had dreamed of Rin. Dreamed of her voice, her body and everything that made her who she was. He rolls his eyes, gazing at the white, speckled ceiling of the recovery room. Katsumoto will be joining him soon, with him Yuki.

_Yuki, _she must have known.

She was the one that had said that a girl from the US was coming. Yuki is his media-manager. She filters what he sees and what he doesn't. She manages the requests for his time, speaking engagements, studies and everything else so he doesn't have to and he can practice medicine. _She knew, _he slams his wrist onto the metal railing.

It's Tsukimaru he will punish if this works and Yuki will know of his rage, but even she in his current state would be able to kill him, leaving him feeling weak and childlike.

He closes his eyes just as the door opens and as if Tsukimaru was called by his thoughts, he, Taiyomaru and Harutoga carry Katsumoto in on a litter to the spare bed. The black haired dog-demon was once known for his beauty and his speed, but as he is, his body is skeletal. His eyes glaze over, his tongue flicks across chapped lips and is white with disease. He has less time left than Sesshomaru. His hair is balding in some spots and if it weren't for his bond to Yuki, she wouldn't know what his needs were. Speech is impossible for him.

Yuki follows behind, ever the beauty her mother was but with a face and leer that lets him know, she is unhappy. Natsuki comes next with Haruto and Yoshi, looking terrified as they come to his bed-side. Finally his nieces and the group is complete.

Yuki hooks Katsumoto up to the blood that is needed to supply his body stability while Sesshomaru attempts to sit up. Even that, he can feel his stomach muscles rebelling. "Natsuki," he intones firmly.

She comes to his side, ever his loyal servant and lover, holding his back up while pulling the hospital bed up so he can sit up. She touches his heart with one hand, while resting her forehead against his. "It's going to happen soon. Can they save you? I'll kill them if they don't."

"Patience sweet one." He kisses her lips. Her taste is not morning dew, but it arouses his senses none the less. Before he dies, he will know carnal pleasure one last time. He pulls back and says, "we need chemotherapy medicine from Osaka Medical Center. I am not sure how much will subdue me, so you will quadruple the amount a human would need times by two for now."

"And how are we going to do that? Chichiue?" Yuki comes over angrily. "Moving him could kill him. Why did you send," she flicks her eyes annoyed at Tsukimaru, "him."

"He is your brother."

"I have never considered him my brother," she snarls.

"Yuki," he threatens but she is no longer intimidated by him. "I need your strength now. If this works, your lover will be saved."

"What are you going to do to him?" she asks, sitting next to his bed.

"A bone marrow transplant," he says hopefully.

"Rinata-sama," Yoshi speaks up. "If what I've studied is accurate the form we use now to complete the process won't work on you. We need to deliver it directly to the pelvic bone. Is there something strong enough to create an opening there?"

"Bakusaiga," he answers, expecting them to understand he means his katana. "There is something that can. First, we need the drugs."

"They're in a lock-up," Haruto reminds him. "Our office can't order the quantity needed."

"We won't be ordering it," Sesshomaru chuckles to himself. "Mayumi, you and Yuki will go get them. It seems I have found use for your skills as a thief."

"Then what do I need her for?" Mayumi sticks her tongue out at Yuki. "I liked it when you were younger than me."

"Only by a year," Yuki reminds her. "I'd still kill you in a fight."

"Enough," he raises his hand. "You need her poison."

"I'll take Tsukimaru then," Mayumi glances at the white haired replica of Sesshomaru.

It's then he feels his heart flare. He doesn't trust him. Why would he believe that Natsuki loves him? Surely he would feel it in their bond if she did. "No. You will take Yuki. If we need more blood for either of us, _Tsukimaru will provide his blood_."

His son pales at his affirmation. _He will pay with his blood._

"Haruto, you will get them to the medicine lock-up," Sesshomaru says quickly. "Once you are there, we do not have the keys to access the medicine."

"So I'll melt the locks," Yuki says with an excited smirk on her face.

"Then we'll need to make sure we keep our heads down. Hospitals have security cameras," Mayumi offers to the group of people. "Yuki that means we walk with our hair down, it will cover our faces. Actually you need a wig."

"I could be an albino," Yuki laughs.

"With ugly dog ears," Mayumi sticks her tongue out at Yuki.

"Or me," Izayoi adds. "I have some scarves you can use."

"We'll go at night when people get tired and only essential staff are awake," Haruto says. "This other one?" He gazes at Katsumoto. "Can he consent?"

"He can't speak," Sesshomaru says quickly, casting a furtive glance at Yuki. "He stopped speaking weeks ago. We don't need informed consent Haruto. I've been doing this for centuries."

"The donors?" Yoshi asks quickly.

"Taiyomaru," he calls to his black-haired son. "Sato?"

"He said he would come, but Chichiue," the gold eyes track to Izayoi and Mayumi and then back to Sesshomaru.

He exhales. His chest aches again and his stomach is roiling. He closes his eyes, attempting to force back the rise of blood in his throat again. If he loses anymore he will be in worse shape than Katsumoto. As if sensing his need Natsuki rushes to his side. "Hang on anata," she whispers in his ear. She touches his stomach and soothes the ache. "Keeping you in one piece is liking trying to put together a puzzle without all the pieces."

Their lips meet, a cold requiem to the pain in his heart. "Help me stay," he says firmly. "I can't do it on my own. Leave us," he barks at the others only for Yuki to remain at her lover's side holding his hand.

The room empties and so he sits with her and strokes her cheek lovingly. "Sweet one," he mutters against her lips. "When they return, I will be given medicine that will make me ill. It will be your job to ensure that my body copes. System by system. If you forget them ask Izayoi for help. If this works, I can cure the others."

"What is going to happen?" Natsuki questions him.

She is not Rin but she is what he has. He doesn't love her, but it's as if Natsuki is an extension of himself. "The medicine will make me sick. They will turn me over and drill holes into my pelvic bones to give me bone marrow."

"Will she consent to it? We haven't heard from her since…"

He covers her mouth with two fingers and says, "I know. But she is all I have left. There are no others that could match."

"Taka? If we could find her."

He forces the guilt to recede before she can feel it and says, "she would not match. She has no immune system. You're lucky sweet one, that you never became so sick." He caresses her cheek.

"And you had to. If you hadn't helped the ill like a fool."

"If I hadn't we wouldn't have found the cure."

"I found the cure."

"Half of it," he reminds her gently.

"She found the rest," he says, mind drifting back to Rin again. "Do you still remember those days?"

"As if they just happened. It's taking more to sustain you. Your body doesn't want to work. It's breaking down."

"I know," he groans, swallowing the bile and blood in his throat. "I'm tired Natsuki." He scoots himself over and pats the bed for her lie down. She does and he rests his head against her breasts and pinches one playfully.

"Dammit!" She slaps his hand down.

"Let me rest," he wraps an arm around her waist with a grin. "Sweet one."

**Mayumi-Present**

For once she isn't scared of getting caught or of making her uncle angry. Mayumi prepares a kit of twisted screws, drills, hooks and other tools, to pick locks. She rifles through her room in the castle in the sky and pulls out a blonde wig for Yuki, who's hair is like the snow she was born in. It's too obvious. She follows by changing into a pin-striped skirt and a button up, ruffled blouse that Ojisama bought her months before when he brought her to a holiday party at his office. It's professional and comes with a matching blazer. Some boy even asked her to dance, until Sesshomaru put an end to it. If he is anything, it's over protective of his nieces.

"Hurry up," Yuki fumes at her from the doorway.

"I'm almost done." She slides on some flats. Once again she is grateful that she ran in the fields and the streams of the Edo and her feet are far from tender making it easy to toss the flats off, if they needed to make a quick escape. "Haruto-sama is coming with us?"

"Hurry up," Yuki ignores her. "I don't like leaving Katsumoto."

"He'll be fine," Mayumi tries to reassure her.

"No he won't." Yuki follows Mayumi back to Tsukimaru who waits for them. Aun hasn't been well recently either. "You're dead when this is over," she growls at him. "I know what you did."

"I have no idea—"

Yuki slams him neck first against the wall. Mayumi yips and jumps out of the way. "You took the girl who has my dead mother's soul out of Japan, using your idiot sister who cannot think for herself! When this is over," she digs her thumbnail into his neck drawing his blood, "and your blood is no longer needed to keep them alive. I'm going to kill you."

Tsukimaru levels her with a glare of his own and pulls Yuki's wrist off. "We both know who would win."

"And when Chichiue gets better? Do you think he is going to let you go without punishing you? You're dead!" Her hands ghost green and Mayumi grabs her wrists.

"Not yet," even she knows what he did. "Not yet. We have to wait. Your father needs him."

"Get us down now," Yuki hisses.

Mayumi can't help but glare at her cousin that she once felt close to. She heard the stories after she missed Taiyomaru's birth. Natsuki was different then, immature and approached her uncle too young. Tsukimaru nearly died in childbirth and if it wasn't for Rin being there when he was born, well everyone would be gone. It would be like her getting pregnant now at fifteen.

She knows he sees her and if he doesn't, she's sure he can smell the change in emotions. He grabs them both around the waists and hauls them out of the castle.

They land at the hospital with Haruto waiting. He gives them some of his nurses ID cards and tells them to follow him. Mayumi reminds Yuki to keep her head down and not look at the cameras. They have to do this quickly, once the medicine lock-up is opened without an entry card an alarm will go off and then that will be it, but Yuki will be the messenger. She's fast and can leap buildings. Mayumi will make the distraction. She has a bag full of ammo to do the trick.

"You're really going to use pipe-bombs?" Haruto asks as they make their way down one hallway, then another.

"Why not?" Mayumi giggles. "It works at school."

"I'm not sure it's going to work here," he says as he opens another secured door and then another. "Go down the hall two rights, then a left." He goes in front of them, making it look like they followed him in and then ducks into a lounge and starts talking to some of the doctors. His job is to keep the staff from running to the lock-up right away.

Mayumi and Yuki continue on their own. "You're really going to kill him?"

"She didn't have to get so sick. Taka is an idiot, but at least she's an innocent idiot."

"The white dog was Taka."

"You're an idiot too," Yuki snarls and follows her cousin into the bathroom. Yuki stands a few inches taller than Mayumi but they both have the same slender build.

Mayumi takes out a big metal bowl and several bags of chemicals. It's just like at school. She mixes them the way a baker mixes their favorite recipe. She kneads it with a tongue depressor she stole from her Uncle's office until it's thick and then dishes it into three different toilets. "I wonder how dokkasu would interact with it?"

"Wanna find out?" Yuki grins like she is a little girl again and throws her poison against the chemicals. Immediately it begins to smoke and the flames lick up the white mixture, making a stench. "Come on!" Mayumi drags Yuki from the bathroom away by her wrist.

Mayumi runs with her to the lockup and just as they were told, there is a card access blocking it. Yuki doesn't need keys. She has poison and claws. They melt the metal and the card-reader sending an alarm off but by now the bathroom is thick with smoke and flames and the fire sprinklers are on, soaking them down. Yuki and Mayumi run in looking for the medicine that will either kill or save Sesshomaru. "This one," Mayumi starts piling it in. She doesn't bother reading the measurements, she just grabs the bags while Yuki keeps a lookout.

"Shit," Yuki says.

"What is it?" Mayumi throws the last two bags in time to see that Yuki's hands are shaking, the white haired hanyou slams her back against the wall, her bottom lip shivering. "Fuck not now."

"Do you have any injections?"

Yuki squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head.

"Dammit." Mayumi peeks out the door hoping to find Haruto in the mess of patients and flames leaping out from the bathroom. But it's too late, Yuki is on her side convulsing with blood dripping down the corner of her mouth, her hands wrapped around the black bag with the chemotherapy drugs. "Dammit Yuki," Mayumi sits down and starts slapping Yuki's face. "Snap out of it!" She pops her head out the door, her eyes burn from the orange flames, the black smoke and the chaos on the floor. Her lungs burn as she ducks back in and covers her face with a black cloth.

The tremors are worse. They wrack Yuki's body. She coughs, her eyes bleeding red and the jagged stripes on cheek turning into points and daggers. Down the hall Mayumi can see the faintest outline of a figure running at them through the smoke. "Oh God someone is coming." She grabs her cousin by the arm, dragging her out of the supply closet and down the hallway as quickly as she can, ducking low to miss the flames and the smoke. "Come on Yuki, please! Someone's coming, Katsumoto needs you!" Her fingers slip along her cousin's soaked arm, unable to haul her any further. She ducks into another supply closet and collapses.

**Please review! OMG...Yuki laid into Tsukimaru? Love it! And ahhh now Yuki and Mayumi are in trouble!**

**Mechine: **We will find out what happens with Taisho and Sota :). You never know during a crisis how people feel. She just wanted someone to hold her, to be with her when it gets dark and she feels alone. And Sato was willing to give it. And he's a demon so things can be different.

**Smmahamazing: **I wasn't even going for tears in that one! But I wanted Kagome to feel some relief...and was probably thirstay! Sato is tainted because of the human blood.

**Thedreamstalker: **Yep...but he doesn't know that he leaves a day after Rin dies at this point. Kagome and Rin do, but he doesn't.

**New Reader:** Yep it's done! Time to load as often as I can! I take that as a compliment. I've had a few people tell me they are more excited about my story than the sequel and that just makes me squee. Like seriously. It's amazing! I'm not sure I agree with Taisho and Sesshomaru's reactions either. Like she can't have some fun? And these two don't understand why? Jeezo

**Itzatakahashi: **HAHAHA I noticed that too! Like this is the last slap. I think it was more Rin trying to stop her from spilling the beans...But I agree with you that it was Kagome's choice and it wasn't that big of a deal. Like she needed some comfort and a distraction and that's okay.

**Harukasempai14: **I agree...like seriously Taisho? Your momma needed to get laid. Get over it...and then Sesshomaru is kind of hypocritical. He doesn't know that he is going to leave a day after she dies and he doesn't know that Kagome is referencing the future not just what has already happened. Everyone's emotions are running soooo high. I'm so happy that you enjoy all the emotions. :) I like to feel and that's the most important thing when I write.

**Inu-fan 24: **Ouch

**Ginax2:** Go you thank you for defending Sesshomaru. I don't blame her either. It would get lonely at night.

**Jenny Crum: No worries! This story is actually done and I just need to update all of it. I am getting there as I can. Looking forward to you becoming one of my regular readers! **


	63. Nina-Present I

**OH Buddy...I've got 2 beers in me right now and I am not entirely sure how coherent my responses to reviews below will be. I shall try my darndest...**

**As such...I have nothing of any substance to say. I'm literally brain dead after finishing this fic. I was going to start working on an original, but then my brain is in pain so I am going to work on my next chapter of Fire and Ice instead. If you have not started that one you should. It's very fluffy because apparently I'm an angst monster. And lets keep those Katsumoto/Yuki/Taka theories coming...hehehe. I love reading your ideas.**

**Okay let's do this before I ramble in a half drunk stupor LOL! **

**Nina-Present I**

If I didn't believe in miracles before I went to Japan, I do now.

I don't really know what happened when they first started my treatment. The doctors led me and Lucy into the room, but as Dr. Rinata was helping me, he fell down. But then there was some strange aura surrounding him. In order to understand what made it strange to a blind person, you have understand what I do see. It's something like nothing. It's white and I know when it's dark and when it's light because I can see shadows. I sense movement from vibrations and the sounds of people around me. But when he fell, his aura, or whatever it was, lit up red and white, like his body was on fire. I didn't know what to do, because I felt like crap anyway and what could I do? My nose was still bleeding like an overflowing river.

They didn't say it but I knew Dr Rinata was sick. His hands shook while he helped me, like he couldn't figure out how to pack my nose and kept missing. They didn't tell me, but I know that's what delayed my treatment. They took me to a different room and Hannah sat with me while the nurses finished packing my nose and gave me platelets and plasma. Then there was a problem with the treatment, but in the end they finally gave it to me and put me in the recovery room. They didn't tell me he was there but I could tell, because the red aura was still there and Lucy nudges my fingers to tell me how many people are there. I knew he was there.

I know colors because of my dreams. I've had the most vivid dreams for as long as I can remember. They're almost always the same. It started with a little girl in the forest. She had a family at one point but not for long. I don't know her name, or why I dream her life all the time. She had a brother, father and mother but they died. I don't know how.

One day she stumbled upon a hurt being in the forest and she felt bad for him. His body was battered and his face downcast and she remembered how sad she felt whenever she was hurt and alone, so she brought him something to drink. When he didn't wake up, she dumped the whole bottle on his head. He wasn't very happy with that but after that she always brought him food. He tried to scare her with red eyes. That's how I know what red looks like.

She went back to her parents grave that night and whispered a prayer for them. When a star shot across the sky, that's when she knew she was destined to follow him, that her parents had granted her wish to never be alone again.

They fight a lot when she is a teenager and there is another boy that she liked for a while. Well she didn't really like him. She just knew that this being, whatever he was, would never return her love until one night he does and I swear I wet the bed that night.

After that the dreams became so erotic. It's like I have a constant porno in my head. But then we had a baby together, a little girl with white hair and funny, fuzzy pointed ears, the last dreams she told him she was pregnant again. He was so happy he took her to their hot springs and made love to her like it was his last breath. Men don't last long, Hanna has said that many times, but that time, he kept going, pleasing and pleasuring over and over, until I couldn't breathe and I was begging him to finish. He thanked me for giving him children, for being his family. Family…it's odd because I've been with Hanna for a few years now but, they still haven't adopted me. One day maybe, or I don't know.

It's because of these visions that I wasn't shocked to see that Lucy was white with red eyes, or that my mom, Hannah anyway, her hair is brown and her eyes blue. Her skin is tanned and skin hardened from the time she spends washing dishes and doing laundry. I knew what human faces looked like by touch before, but I never told anyone that I knew because I remembered a life that wasn't mine. That's what it's like.

Honestly, I don't remember that much from the stay at the clinic. I was hooked up to an IV and I swear that I dreamed I met him, that man who was in my dreams, the whole time while I was there, but that's all it was a dream.

I asked him to kiss me, because what fifteen year old hasn't been kissed yet? Just the ones that have been deaf and blind their whole lives and sick.

The fever broke before anyone else was awake and I wanted to see Dr. Rinata closer. His hair was tied back in a tight braid and he smelled clean. Before he stunk of blood. I got out of bed and approached him carefully. Lucy nipped at my fingers, probably thinking I shouldn't get out of bed but I did anyway. I swatted her nose, signaling her to leave me alone. Seeing someone else with skin as pale as mine made me hold my breath.

A white cannula stuck out from his chest that was connected to a bag of blood on the IV pole. He looked so fragile and so like the being in my dreams, then I thought what the hell? I nearly died, I should at least get to kiss someone right? I leaned over his bed while Lucy nipped at my feet, tugging on my hospital gown and pressed my lips into his. He didn't move but his lips parted, and something magnetic happened, like we were connecting. Why does he have to be twenty years older than me? He didn't wake up. He was so weak.

But then Lucy started circling my feet, signaling me that someone was coming so I had to get back in bed. That was before I was going to tongue him. I can't believe he slept through that.

The younger doctor came in and tried to give me my discharge instructions. I couldn't understand him. His mouth made different movements than what I was used to, and even though I could see, I never learned how to read lips. That's next on my list of things to learn.

Dr. Yoshi brought me over to Dr. Rinata and I swear I turned bright red because of what I had done to him while he was sleeping.

He told me the treatment was his own invention and while the effects of the fever can be severe, I would see within two weeks that the cancerous cells will be eradicated. It was important for me to rest, but then he cupped my chin and even though he was weak and tired, he smiled, tracing my eyes. "Enjoy your sight. Go see the sunset and the sunrise, the ocean on a rainy day, a rainbow in the sky. Go to Lovers Park and sit under the Sakura tree and watch children play." Then he pulled my head down and I swear my skin tingled and burned when he kissed my forehead goodbye. He gave me his card with his contact information and told me not to be nervous to email him any questions.

The first question I asked him was when I could get my cochlear implant. "As long as you stay in remission. Wait six months, you'll see it won't return. You're healed Nina. You can enjoy your life now."

I asked about him and I finally saw what a frown really looks like. His eyes lowered to his lap and he shook his head and said, "just celebrate the life I gave you." I'm going to wait a few weeks, because he looked like hell, but I want to know if he's okay. Somehow, it hurts knowing that he is so sick.

That's why Hannah and I are sitting on the bench under the Sakura tree in Lover's Park. One of his nieces brought me. She said her name is Izayoi. She has white hair and a scarf on her head. I'm too embarrassed to ask if it's a fashion statement or if she fell victim to the same disease that I did. I start signing to Hannah, half confused to see my own hands using full signs. I learned them but I always needed tactile before. "What's so special about this place?"

The light haired girl kneels down, touching the hot water in the springs. I suppose it's the size of a large hot tub, but the stones were smoothed down centuries before and in the center a statue of a white dog with red eyes spits water out of his puckered mouth. By the legs of the dog is a woman, with two children at her sides with funny ears and a baby strapped to her front. Then Hannah lifts up my hand and starts spelling it out. "Once upon a time, a dog-demon fell in love with a beautiful maiden. He was fierce and evil at first and tried to kill his brother. Then a great evil half-demon came and tried to kill him. One day, after fighting his brother, he was injured and fled to a forest to recover. A little girl named Rin found him. She felt pity for how terrible he looked, but one day she was killed by a pack of wolves…"

I grab Hannah's hand and squeeze her palm. The story is too like the one that I've lived my entire life. Lucy nuzzles my fingers to quiet my heart, but I have to know. Izayoi keeps talking, "The demon had a special sword named Tenseiga that brought her back to life. He allowed her to travel with him and his servant for a year. After the evil half-demon was defeated, he realized that it was for his own selfish purposes that he kept her with him and so he broke his own heart by leaving her in a village with an elderly priestess.

"He visited her monthly throughout her childhood always bringing her gifts until one day she went missing. The girl had become a warrior behind his back and she went to face an untold evil. That day, he found his love for her, creating a spiritual bond that united their souls. Here by the hot springs, he cared for her until she was healed. Eventually, this place became their home and they had two more babies together. His demonic aura inside of her extended her life. They had many adventures together, heart-ache, pain, joy and laughter. He loved her more than anything but one day as life happens, he had to let her go. He buried her here under the Sakura tree."

_Is it true? _I sign to Hannah and she says something to Izayoi. Izayoi shrugs her shoulders and Hannah tells me that she said, "believe what you want. It's said this was their home and he still comes every night to sit under the Sakura tree, mourning his lover, waiting for her to be born into this world again."

_Reincarnation, _I think to myself and then stop…am I her?

**Please review! Huzzah I think she knows who she is now...but what's going to happen now?**

**Coming Next: Kagome-Past**

**Rin-past I swear I sobbed for a week after this chapter**

**OOO and then we end Part 2 and onto Part 3 Ashes**

**Sesshomaru-present**

**AHH Neutronstarchild just started posting Legacy. Which is an amazing sessrin fic. It's also her first fic so please give her a read. I give her 100% endorcement. Also kimmigirl9 started a new sessrin too. Hurray!**

**Let's all pray these responses are coherent after my two beers.**

**Kimmigirl9: oh you will find out.**

**Smmahamazing: Natsuki...the one no one can make their minds up about. It's amazing, because she starts out bad but is really just a confused young demoness. HAHA YES JERRY SPRINGER of demon life! LIKE WTF? Yuki is a pain...I love it and possibly the reason for Mayumi's bad behavior LOL. Yeah...Sesshomaru has been through hell as much as Rin but I feel like a lot of people don't see that.**

**Harukasempai14: I loved making Yuki lay into Tsukimaru LOL! There was no one for Tsukimaru. If there was, he would have. And I'm not giving any plot away. No no no plot away...you're just going to have to wait to see what happens.**

**Mechine: Yep...he will survive but things are never perfect. LOL technically Mayumi was born a year before Harutoga. Shit I may have messed that up LOL.**

**New Reader: Yes! I focused solely on finishing this and nothing else which fried my brain a bit. After I finish responses I am just going to work on Fire and Ice. Because Natsuki is a woman! And like anyone wants to be loved regardless of what happened. She can't spend the rest of her life apologizing for her previous stupidity. Punish Yuki because she didn't tell him about Nina being Rin's reincarnation. **

**Jenny Crum: Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter too!**

**Luin-Fanel: I agree...Kagome mourned for 3 days. That's long enough, let her get some enjoyment out of life. I give no plot away about Katsumoto/Yuki/Taka...hehehe but we shall find out...eventually.**

**Itzatakahashi: It does...doesn't it...B and E? Yuki never changed. She's a spice monster her whole life :). All you shall find out in time...So...have you read any Fire and Ice yet?**


	64. Kagome past VIIIRin Past XI

**And we're back with another chapter! I'm just gonna keep doubling these up I think. Oh these two chapters...these two chapters...these OMG...**

**I had to edit with a box of tissues and refuse to let myself cry because my kids would want to read and this stuff is soooo not kid friendly. **

**Well without further delay, because I cannot think of anything to say. Here we go!**

**Thank you Mechine! I left out Kagome's part and this site is being weird!**

**Kagome-Past**

She finds Sato on the ground, half transformed, gripping his katanas and sending white hot flashes of light at Taisho. And it's not just Sato. Hisato is battling against her son too. Together they lunge at him, throwing him off balance, but something she learned about her son's spiritual power is that she pales in comparison to him. He's trained regularly against his Uncle whom he can't purify and can erect a barrier powerful enough to keep Sesshomaru out when he wants. He uses the same tactic against Sato and Hisato.

Before the two brothers can pounce on him, Taisho erects a giant blue barrier throwing them off as if they are bouncing off the side of a balloon. But he can't hold it, and Hisato is up again, flying at him.

"Taisho stop!" she screams at him just as Sota lunges from behind, grabbing his brother around the waist and flinging him on the ground in time to miss and death blow from Hisato's swords.

Then her worst nightmare happens. Sesshomaru lifts his nephew into the air by the throat, his own eyes bordering on bleeding red. "Stop it now!" he speaks in between clenched teeth.

"He had sex with my mother!" Taisho's hands light up blue but it does little more than sizzle his Uncle's skin.

"Taisho stop!" Sota yells at him. "Ojisama let him go!"

Sesshomaru curses, throwing the boy on the ground. Taisho lands with a thud, nursing a bruised chin.

Hisato leans over Sato, helping to calm his primal form until his features blend back to human. "You ever touch my brother again," Hisato threatens and Sesshomaru waves his hand stopping the battle.

"I do not have time for these kinds of immature battles. Our people do not have time for this," he says so coldly that Kagome shivers. "WE ARE DYING AND YOU THINK KILLING IS THE ANSWER? And you," he turns to her soberly, dropping Taisho on the ground. "Keep your legs closed."

"You cannot tell me what to do with my life. If I want that…then I will." She shouldn't have to explain herself but she does none the less. Everyone breaks apart and she is left with her two sons.

"What happened?" Sota asks as he throws a blanket over her shoulders and helps his brother up.

"She had sex with Sato!" Taisho yells loud enough for all the onlookers in the village to hear.

"You," she grabs her son by the wrist dragging him into a copse of trees. "I can't believe this. Why did you do that!? He could have killed you, they both would! I can't lose you two also." She holds her sons around the shoulders.

"How can you do that?" Taisho finally asks, collapsing on his knees. "How could you?"

Kagome smooths the hair from her face and shakes her head leaning down next to him. "Because I needed it, that's why. You know he wanted me to move on. He wanted us to be happy Taisho. Isn't there someone that you want? Someone who strikes your fancy?"

"If this is done, I'm going back to Sayako." Sota strides away. "Ka-san?"

"What?" She waits for his judgment, does he think that she betrayed their father too?

He offers her a half smile and says, "it doesn't bother me. Sayako told me to move on if something happens to her, if…" but he can't finish that sentence and Kagome knows why. "I won't let it. I'll save her. I'm glad you found someone to comfort you."

_Comfort fuck, _she says to herself and then turns back on Taisho taking his hand and walking to the edge of the barrier. "I'm sorry it upset you. Please don't do that again. Sesshomaru has a point, we shouldn't be fighting amongst ourselves. He needs you to keep this barrier up. It's all that's stopping the monks from finding the ones we hide."

He shakes his head and sighs. "Do you even love him?"

"Sex isn't always about love." Kagome laughs and then stops when she sees her son tense.

"What is it?"

"Something is coming." He starts loping to the south end of the barrier so quickly she can barely keep up. He's no longer shorter than her, but a head taller and more filled out than he has been in the past.

She can sense it too. A cloud of yoki, but not just one, there are many. They run through the village until Sesshomaru's meets them. They cross through the barrier and find Koga, Ginta, Hakaku on the other side with litters carrying the sick and Hinatamaru-sama, the head of the Fox Demons, Shippo, Sango and Miroku and their youngest children. In their arms is Kirara whose fur has taken on a red tinge. Kagome runs forward to embrace her friends. "Is she sick?"

"Kohaku came and told us to come here. We're here to serve you," Sango comes forward just as the barrier falls. Taisho's hands smolder azure while he holds it down as the masses enter.

Sesshomaru greets Koga and Hinatamaru-sama with a tilt of his head and motions them to follow him. "Miko, I require your assistance helping them understand the quarantine and sanitation."

She nods, glad for the distraction. She helps Koga to settle the sick on the other side of the lake. As soon as all is clear, Taisho erects the barrier, masking the yoki inside.

Hours pass and the sun begins to rise. She is so tired she can't see straight. Her hands are numb from the cold and the only thing she wants is to rest. The fox demons have come not only to bring their ill but to grow the garden. Sango and Miroku will live outside the barrier and maintain the garden with Shippo to grow the herbs and the food where the weather is still summer-time.

The wolf-demons have come as reinforcements should the monks attack and simply because they have nowhere else to go. They are all that remains of their kind.

The cold is helping, the fevers are dropping and she prays that will slow the deaths and help them keep the disease at bay. When the sun peaks over the trees, at last she is released from her duties and begins the long cold walk back to the main home after sanitizing herself. She makes it halfway there before the tickle of his yoki lands next to her.

Sato says little more than wrapping her in his mokomoko and flying her the rest of the way back to the house. This time he takes her hand and leads her to the sentinels hut. He presses her back against the bamboo mat he sleeps on making her moan from release, from pleasure, from how deep she can feel him inside of her. When they part, she lays on her side nestled into his chest. His hand drapes over her as he kisses her cheek. "If this becomes a regular occurrence, perhaps we should meet here instead of your room." He flexes an arm that is speckled with bruises and burnt skin.

Kagome sighs touching them lightly. "Sorry about that. They miss their father."

"I'm sure he was a good father," Sato speaks quietly, laying on his back while she is sprawled across his chest. "Taisho has learned well here. I'm sure you've noticed he made a place for himself. You should be proud of him."

"I am and I did. It's like he grew up overnight. I felt so guilty sending him when he was thirteen, like I was abandoning him. But he really likes it here."

He runs his thumb up and down her bare arm with a quiet smirk on his face. "So will this become a regular occurrence between us Miko?"

Kagome laughs from deep within her belly and her eyes begin to hood over. "You're okay with it?"

"It's just sex." He turns over on his side, cradling her back and kissing her neck. "It's easier for me like this."

"Guaranteed booty call."

"Boo-tee?" he says the word awkwardly and she remembers that it's English not Japanese.

"It just means that you don't have to look for someone to have sex with at night."

"Then I will be your boo-ty call as long as your son and Sesshomaru-sama do not find out. You will want to bathe before returning. He will smell me on you."

She nods her head, the world going in and out of focus as sleep takes her. "So it begins," and then she thinks to herself, _you told me…you told me how to stop it…why can't I remember?_

**Rin-past**

**One year Later**

The supply of thousand-year berries has been depleted. The disease rages on. Over the last year, the barrier has been taken down during the day to allow the sick in. Quietly, and discretely using old allies, and forging new ones, Sesshomaru was able to send word in all directions that his home is a haven. They had to expand the barrier again to compensate for all the ill. Trenches are dug daily for the dead and burned to ashes. There is no time for funerals, for eulogies, only for life and in it, she watches her lover as he works going from one patient to the next, administering the sick with the herbs needed to keep the fevers down. He keeps his face wrapped when he is around the sick and a flask of shochi on his hip, next to Bakusaiga. But for the last year, he refuses to carry Tenseiga. After helping a child-hanyou swallow the bitter mixture, he washes his hands and the bottle and moves on to the next patient.

For Rin, her time is spent trying to make sure that everyone drinks. When the sick first came, they died within weeks of infection, mostly from dehydration and fever. The cold they have learned not only lowers the fever, but the colder their bodies remain the slower the rashes spread. Nobuatsu helps spread the clay mixture with lavender, chamomile and eucalyptus to reduce the swelling and ease breathing and now their patients last for months. Some a year since they have arrived.

Sayako is still sick and bedbound. Her body is fighting the illness but they have not forgotten the child they lost. Sota keeps watch while Taisho is constantly busy with Miroku. Aun is quarantined and isolated in the hopes the dragon will avoid getting sick altogether.

Jaken has also lasted the year. He spends his days with the other imps, a leader again. He tells the sick children stories and they hang on his every word. He tells the mothers they will survive and reminds the fathers to be strong. She smiles watching him, no longer a frog cowering before his master but a leader of his people. "We'll have to replace him after this," she says as she catches up to her lover. She knows what he doesn't, that his time is limited at some point Sesshomaru will become ill but she doesn't know when.

"We need more thousand year berries," Sesshomaru tells her, not stopping to talk as he moves to the next patient. It's a group of fox children and he leans over them with the care of a father as he pours the tea into their mouths. "I leave tonight."

"No," Rin says taking his hand. "You're yoki will act like a beacon, my love. If the monks are out there looking for you, they'll find our home and follow you back."

"You think I would let them?"

They are in public which causes her to bite her tongue. She waits until he finishes with the children then asks him to come to the side of the camp with her. Already, his eyes are dark with anger, his mood darker than before. She's resolved to tolerate him, to encourage him, because of who he'll become, but it's hard to love a stone. "Let me go."

"They will sense my yoki inside of you," he reminds her as he sits down on a rock.

"You're tired my love. You haven't slept in more than a month. You stay up all night reading and changing the herbs to keep them alive. Let me go. I'll draw less attention than you will and I know where to find them. You've never gone. I went when I was a girl to save Jaken remember?"

"It's dangerous."

There is something about the way he hunches as he sits that makes her worry, but there is no time for that. "I'll take Hisato and Hineko. They'll draw less attention than you will. Tell me what you need."

"Take everything that is grown and find as many seeds as you can. We need a garden," he says quietly. "Outside the barrier. Somewhere near but discrete."

Rin closes her eyes thinking of near and discrete but with someone nearby who wouldn't draw attention for having such a luscious bounty of greens meant to treat youkai. Sango and Miroku lived outside the barrier to avoid the eternal winter, but it was well known where their loyalties lied. "Kohaku. No one would suspect a slayer! I'll find him."

He nods.

"Are you okay?"

He nods again and the silence makes her nervous. For the millionth time she approaches him and touches his forehead with the back of her hand, but with the halberd, if he has a fever she can't detect it. "I'll come home as soon as I can."

"My heart." He holds her around the waist with one hand on her backside, while the other pulls his veil to the side to reveal his lips. "My heart," he whispers and their mouths meet. His tongue enters as if he would devour her and she presses her lips back in kind. She ignores the way his teeth scrape against hers and the faint taste of blood from the gash he leaves on her chin. He licks it as if to say he's sorry before opening his mouth against hers again. "Come home to me."

"I usually say that." She smiles against his lips and closes her eyes, enjoying the warmth he offers her. It's fall outside the barrier but in their village, eternal winter reigns.

He swallows as if he is going to say something then stops. "If you are caught, I cannot come for you."

"I know. Hisato will keep me safe. It will be alright. You'll see."

"And if the children get sick?"

"You're going to stop this Sesshomaru. No other demon has access to what you do. You're keeping everyone alive longer. You miss him don't you?" His eyes are lined, his face paler than usual and she can see the effects of constantly managing the halberd on him.

"I haven't seen Tsukimaru in a year."

Tsukimaru, his other son. He went from visiting him one day a week to not at all. Too dangerous he said, too risky that he would get his infant son sick and carry the germs. "We could contract a human artist," she suggests sitting down next to him. "Make a picture."

"I don't need your pity."

"You need my love and you know it."

He turns from her and she touches his hand gently. "Let me love you through this."

"Love won't fix it."

"No," she hugs him around the waist, "but it will give you the strength to do what you must."

He snarls at her as he stands, making her heart race. She backs away nervously not knowing what to do with his rage. Instability is the best word to describe his behavior, one moment he is angry, the next forlorn, rarely smiles and in the last year, they have barely made love more than a handful of times. "Return quickly."

She prepares to leave, gathering her belongings in her room. She changes out of a long kimono into the shorter ones that bare her legs and are dull in color. She ties her hair into a tight braid and then weaves it around her head and straps her sword to her waist.

Just as the sun begins to set, she sees her lover sitting by the hot springs, one hand buried in the luscious dirt around the red camellias. She ties his obi that he gave her long ago, around her waist for luck and exits into the garden. He's mumbling but she can't make out what her lover is saying. "What is it my love?"

His gaze never shifts as he asks, "do you believe children can be reincarnated if they never had a chance to live among us? I would know your soul, but hers," he exhales forlornly.

"I'll make sure you see her again," she says as brightly as she can manage and wraps her arms around his back. "You won't die my love."

"And if I did?"

"You won't. I promise, when I leave you, a wrinkled old woman, I'll make sure she comes back to you."

"You know who the mother would be my heart," he brings her fingers up to his lips as he speaks.

"I know. But this way, I'll know someone is there to make you smile," she says in his ear. "I should go."

"Come back to me."

Getting there had been the easy part. What was once Jinenji's home is four days away on foot. She took Hineko and Hisato with her and they hiked because none of their flying companions were healthy enough to take them. She knew the way, having gone there so many times, especially when they were first establishing their home to get seeds for herbs and food. _Food, _even that was becoming scarce. The cold air was driving away prey animals and it was too dangerous to allow the demon hunters to leave the barrier. Stories still abounded of monks and mikos attacking groups of sick demons, most of them from the groups that were trekking it to her home.

When they made it to the ravine where the berries were in the past, she wondered what she had been so afraid of the first time, until Hisato grabs her by the shoulder and pulls her behind a boulder. "They're here."

"Who?"

He nods his head in the direction of a walking group of monks and that is how they found themselves pinned against the wall of the cliff, stifling their breathing.

"They're guarding the berries," Rin mouths to Hisato and Hineko while closing her eyes and formulating a plan in her mind. The demons that once covered the ravine are gone, replaced by a group of monks. If she goes alone to retrieve them, it's likely they'll sense the yoki inside of her. If they go together, her companions will be in danger. She slams her back against the wall and closes her eyes. "How many?"

Hineko shakes his head, then bends down and writes with his claws, twenty.

Her heart starts racing as she wipes more sweat from her forehead. Twenty, not even Sesshomaru could stand against that many. "Ideas?" she begs them, because she can't think. Her people need these plants to survive.

Hineko points to himself and makes a motion that indicates he will go up and get the berries and the seeds and then points at her and Hisato and to make a distraction, followed by a sign that looks like the sun setting. Night-time would work to their advantage. She calms herself and settles in their hiding place while she considers exactly what their distraction would be.

The idea is so ridiculous it's stupid, but with how much hatred the monks have for demons it's bound to work. Hineko has already left to sneak into the trenches around the cliff-face where the berries grow. Rin will draw them away from the precipice by screaming that a demon attacked her and tried to rape her, leaving Hisato to lure them. She faces him in the pine-trees with her hands on her hips. "You have to."

He shakes his head frustrated and grits his teeth. "Turn around."

She complies, part of the ruse are the injuries that he will cause her, they have to look real and she isn't looking forward to what's coming. "Make sure to scream," he tells her as he hacks into her back, slashing all five claws into her skin, tearing into her kimono, under layer and her skin. She screams, falling to her knees because it hurts like hell and her heart starts racing.

He raises his hand again and does the same across her stomach pulling another shriek from her lips. "They're coming," he says as he runs from the trees down the trail instead of flying.

She cries as blood trickles down to her stomach and she hugs herself swallowing hard to get up. It hurts. Her knees force themselves straight and she runs onto the road to be met by a handful of monks. She cries, because it really does hurt and falls on them like they are her saviors. "A demon," she sobs. "It was a demon, with fangs and gnarled claws!" A pathetic woman she portrays herself to be. "Please? He tried to rape me!" Two monks stay behind and one of them starts ripping out strips from his bag to tie off her wounds. The pressure feels like heaven as it staunches the bleeding and soothes the pain.

As soon as they have her down and resting she flips upright and kicks them both in their heads, spinning quickly to knock them out. She runs as quickly as possible into the forest to escape. "Rin-sama!" she hears from behind. She knows it's Hisato hiding in the bushes. She jogs for him feeling his yoki spread out. "It didn't work."

"What?"

He grabs her around the waist and lugs her to just before the clearing where the soil gives way to red sand and she sees it. Hineko is held down by ten. Her ruse didn't get enough attention. She curses. They need the berries or many more will die. "I'll go. I'll fight them," Hisato says so resolutely it scares her.

Her mouth dries at the thought, "you won't survive."

"I won't survive anyway," just as he speaks, he lifts up his haori revealing battered flesh, a festering rash and it's only then she touches his forehead in disbelief. His skin burns.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Silence.

"Hisato?" This, _he _didn't tell her that they would lose him.

"It's the only way Rin-sama. If I challenge them, he will be freed. You go to the cliff, get the berries and the two of you escape."

"They'll kill you!"

"Shh," he hushes her, covering her lips with one finger and closes his eyes. "I'm dying already. Let me choose how it ends. It has been my pleasure serving you Rin-sama." He rests his forehead against hers, a sign of affection amongst his kind and it breaks her heart.

"Hisato please? Don't do this. I'll find a way to save you, to save everyone but please. Don't make me say goodbye to you."

"There is no other way." His breathing is labored as he removes his katanas. The shorts swords light up white.

"She'll come right? She will?" She hasn't seen Gobodo-sama in years.

He shakes his head with more sorrow floating through his eyes. "She will join me soon."

Her hands fly over her mouth to staunch the sorrow filled sob coming from her lips. "No…no…there has to be another way."

He holds her as if he is her father and the warmth of his arms can take away the pain she feels. "Promise me something?"

"What?" She pulls away from his arms wiping his eyes.

"You will tell my daughter how I died?"

It's happening too fast, it's too much information. "You're….what?" Her head swims at the thought.

"Her name is Rieko. She hid her when she fell ill. Promise me, you'll find my daughter, you'll take care of her, love her, as if she is yours?"

"Of course, Hisato…" She hugs him one last time before he takes a deep breath preparing himself for battle and charges, white blades flashing.

She will make his sacrifice worth it. She glances back only long enough to see the other monks returning and that one of his blades was thrown to cut the binds holding Hineko down. The fire-cat transforms and just as Rin is five feet into the air climbing the cliff, a nose slides between her legs, throwing her onto the giant orange cats back as he flies her up to the berries. She lands roughly on her feet, stumbling forward while removing her knife to cut the berries. She digs deep, taking their roots and tosses them into her bag, then another and then another. The monks see her and hair raises on the back of her neck. "Hurry." Hineko is in humanoid form helping her gather them. "Dammit, they left these here to lure idiots like us in."

"Hisato," she sobs quietly, scooping a handful of dried seeds before she jumps on Hineko's back.

"Don't look."

And just like that Hisato is gone.

She returns broken hearted to their home, holding tightly to Hineko's back. No one is supposed to transform outside the barrier because it draws too much attention to the yoki but they already spent the day travelling like this, avoiding areas that even contained any trace scent of humans. Her bag is full of the berries she needs to keep the villagers alive, but her heart feels like it's breaking and there is a part of her that wonders if he feels her pain and why he isn't coming to comfort her.

They land several miles from the barrier. She falls off Hineko's back and ties the berries and seeds around her waist. They will have to wait for nightfall to return. She curls against the trunk of a tree and closes her eyes thinking that he knew. All this time, her lover in the future knew that Hisato would die, his mother? Did he think about how that would affect her or did he think that he was saving her from pain? He seemed so different, so much more emotional in the future, yet one trait remains, deception. _But the one in the future isn't the one I am going back to, _she thinks to herself. _He needs me. _She calms her heart as Hineko sits down next to her. "I can't smell anything. I circled twice, the sun sets in an hour, we'll go then."

She nods weakly. "Are you sick?"

"No," he shakes his head. "But Akari…she thinks I didn't notice."

"Dammit…" she hadn't been coming to their home and was volunteering with the sick. "It's only a matter of time before you become ill then too I suppose."

"Some things are meant to be." He pulls dried meats from his bag and hands them to her. "Eat."

"I feel sick to my stomach. We left him to die alone." She wipes her eyes thinking she can't be like this when she returns.

"It was what he wanted."

It shouldn't be like this.

As night descends they finally begin their trek home. Her legs ache. She is hungry, tired and just wants to sleep. They go through the barrier after being gone for several weeks and waiting for her is Katsumoto with her children. They rush to her, jumping on her all at once. Taiyomaru missed her, Yuki is both angry that she was gone for so long and happy she is back, Harutoga is quiet and pensive, but it's Katsumoto that catches her eye. "Where is he?" he asks, sniffing the air then backing away. "What happened?"

Rin swallows hard and says, "dead." The word tastes like mud in her mouth and the tears come back. "Where is Sato?" She shivers, because of the eternal winter that Sesshomaru has cast in this place with Touma's halberd. "I forgot how cold it is here." A fine layer of snow blankets the ground. She removes the berries and the seeds from around her waist and hands them to Hineko. "Take these to Sesshomaru-sama and Nobuatsu-sama."

"What happened to Hisato?" Harutoga asks as she walks with them back to the house.

"He was sick and he sacrificed himself so that I could escape. Katsumoto, please? Go find Sato, I should tell him myself." And that wasn't all she wanted to do, the child. He said they had a child. Should she tell her lover what Hisato told her that he has a sister waiting for them to find and that his mother is ill?

Katsumoto bows and leaves as Rin slowly touches each of her children's foreheads. They look like triplets now, except the obvious differences between Taiyomaru and his older brother and sister. _Tsukimaru, _she worries, _the disease is in the castle…_

"You're upset," Yuki says quietly as they make it into the house.

"What's going on?" she asks seeing the public dining hall is swamped with children and no parents. A handful of human maids and servants are tending to them. There are at least twenty children.

"They all lost their parents, but aren't sick. Chichiue had them brought here," Harutoga dignifies as Shiori runs up and bows.

"How are you Shiori-chan?" Rin asks her ruffling her hair, trying to paste the fakest smile she can on her face.

She shrugs her shoulder. "Yuki do you want to play? We were going to go outside and play tag."

The children run off just as Kagome comes in with a forlorn look on her face and a rather disheveled kimono. Rin can only laugh, even she knows that her sister-in-law never stopped her late night rendezvous with Sato, much to Sesshomaru's annoyance and that of her own children but she can't blame her. Sato isn't bad looking. When they first made this home and Sesshomaru would be gone for weeks at a time, she missed his touch. How could she blame Kagome for seeking warmth from someone else?

"Did you get everything?" Kagome asks her and Rin nods, but then the emotions overtake her and she bursts into tears. "What happened? Where's Hisato?"

Rin covers her eyes and shakes her head.

"I'm so sorry Rin." She leads her back to the corridor that leads to their private dining room. Rin sits defeated in the high backed chair breathing heavily. "Why didn't he tell me? Who else are we going to lose?"

"I don't know," Kagome speaks softly, sliding a chair up next to her and wrapping an arm around Rin's shoulders.

"Akari is sick? How long until Nobuatsu gets sick? Sato? Who survives? He never told you?"

"No," Kagome says mirthfully. "There are many things he kept himself."

"What happens? How does he go from this to who he is? He said it was me, but how can it be? He spurns my attempts to comfort him. He pushes me away. He barely speaks to me. We hardly make love. I…I…"

"Shh," Kagome soothes her. "If there is one thing I picked up on spending time with him in the future, is that this period of time…what's happening now," Kagome's voice breaks, "cut him to the core. He never recovers from it. Maybe him in the future wouldn't behave like this, but he must hurt."

For a time they cry until there is a knock on the door that startles both of them out of their mourning. "Come in," Rin wipes her nose and dries her tears.

Sato is standing by the open door, his tanned face bent and breathing heavily. "My brother? Rin-sama?"

"Kagome? I need a minute alone with him," she tells the Miko. They hug in parting while she invites him where he has previously been forbidden. "Sit down."

Sato sits down stiffly and the first thing Rin does is touch his forehead. "Take your shoes off." She doesn't give him time to argue, bending down and pulling them off she finds the slightest hint of raised bumps on his toes and curses. "How long?"

"It started a week ago. I've been careful Rin-sama. Hisato?" He takes her by the wrist bringing her back up. "How did?"

She sees him struggling for words, to maintain his composure. She sits again, burying her face in her hands, crying. "To save me. He was…I'm sorry Sato." She breathes to get her composure as slow silent tears come from Sato's eyes. She bites down on her bottom lip, wondering where her lover is, does he even feel what she is right now? Taking a deep breath, she forces out, "Rieko…he told me about her. Sesshomaru's sister."

In that moment, Sato's eyes widen, his tears stop as he says, "he told you about her?"

**End Part Two**

**Please Review! Ya'll know I love it! OMG...I killed Hisato...I love Hisato...Hisato is my favorite OC...why! Okay we know why, but still.**

**For timing sake, 4 years have passed for the Disease and we are still waiting to see if Yuki and Mayumi make it out of the supply closet with the drugs Sesshomaru needs.**

**Next up Part 3: Ashes**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Nina- Present**

**Kagome-Past**

**Story Rec: Legacy by Neutronstarchild. She's a new sessrin writer who I am going to shamelessly promote. I have not read it yet but I've heard it's really good. So I still want to.**

**Luin-fanel: **I know that comment, she has no idea how much older than her she is. Try like hundreds of years! Well I have been drawing my characters. I wish I knew how to animate but I don't. So we have to stick with me learning to draw. I've made a few sessrin pics and I'm slowly starting to draw their children, so you can find those on Tumblr and twitter.

**Mechine: **The doctors definitely looked up to Sesshomaru and now they are seeing that nothing is as it seems. You so just projected...but you shall see what happens and how Nina feels. I'm literally reading reviews, going you guys have NO IDEA what I have planned. HAHAHAHA

**Guest: **MEOW

**smmahamazing: **It was Sesshomaru's idea to go to Lover's Park. He wants her to know who she is but again he's not going to force her to do anything. You'll see what happens.

**Kimmigirl9: **I know, it's sooo sad and cute that he misses her so much.

**Jenny Crum: **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. OMG I made myself cry writing it. It's such an intense story

**New Reader: **Thank you! I also love writing this story...I've literally sat in a daze the last week going, I finished? I did? If you go back and read it, Taka was tugging on Nina's clothes to get her off Sesshomaru and make her stop. Holy rusted plot hole...I've never really factored her kids in. They know that she has their mother's soul but that she isn't their mother, and they respect their father with that.

**Harukasempai: **Tell me how you really feel! LOL...I agree with you that Nina needs to go back and live her life. That's exactly why Sesshomaru chose to make her leave. It wasn't because he was choosing Natsuki but because he was choosing to give Nina a life outside of what was happening with him and his family. He didn't want her to see him die and he didn't want her to feel obligated by the memories she possesses to be by his side. So you shall see how that turns out.


	65. Sesshomaru-Present XI

**Anyone else enjoy that confusion with the last post? Mechine thank you again for noticing it so I could fix and repost the Kagome chapter. Basically at first it wouldn't let me add it, so I tried adding a new chapter and used the wrong doc...then I switched the docs and it still showed the repeated chapter and then I deleted and edited the current chapter and OMG I had to wait an hour for FFN to update. I would blame this 75% on user error and 25% on a clunky system that is making me insane. **

**I'm so excited...okay I'm always excited on this story but I'm enjoying the feedback.**

**Just a note for those who are like why is Sesshomaru so hypocritical. He doesn't know he is yet...Sesshomaru of the past doesn't know that he will survive, or that Rin will live longer or that he will leave just after her death to be with Natsuki.**

**Recap: Yuki and Mayumi were getting chemotherapy meds and Yuki dropped from a seizure, leaving them stranded in the hospital and Mayumi's pipe bomb may have gone out of control.**

**Okay let's do this!**

**Part Three:**

**Ashes**

S**esshomaru-present**

_He should have known she would conceive with that one act of copulation._

_He hadn't left Rin's graveside when the calling began to overwhelm him, finally, after so long. Distinctly he remembers holding sakura petals in his palms, mourning his lost lover. He missed holding her, even if she was all hips and bones with silky white hair. It was her smell and their conversations that brought him to tears over and over again._

_Rin knew him inside and out, his thoughts, his dreams and even then, did not feel slighted when he spent nights at the graves where he had burned children's bodies during the disease. It was the unconditional love he missed the most. But then he remembered her promise, that she would send Sakura back to him._

_It sent him a fury of primal hunger, passion and pain to Natsuki's side._

_And yet he should have known weeks later that she would conceive and three short months after that would give him a child._

_Taka's birth went more smoothly than Tsukimaru's. It didn't begin with a battle, with childishness and a boot to the back but during the early morning hours when the last stars leave the sky. He heard a howl of pain from down the hall and leapt out of bed, still half naked to find Natsuki in what used to be his mother's room with tears of fear dripping down her cheeks. She was terrified, like a child, unsure of what to do._

_Striding towards her, he lifted her chin with one hand and rest his forehead against hers. "Transform," he muttered, letting his yoki flood their bond with comfort, hope and easing her pain. Fur grew along his arms, his face elongated, sliding his snout against her cheek._

_She did the same and for hours, she rested with her head between his paws, struggling to maintain composure. When the end came, she whined and whistled and then he heard the tell-tale splash of another body._

_Lifting the matted white fur into his mouth, he set their new baby by her mother's breast. A girl, it hit him like a hammer and he almost heard her voice in his head, "you didn't think I would go back on my promise did you?"_

_ "__Taka," he whispered, so sure that was her name. Her ears were long, as if they could carry her across the clouds and eyes so sharp and sure for one just born, just like his mothers._

_She smells like Sakura petals. Natsuki noticed it first. It was then he knew that he had been given a second chance with the baby he had lost and why he had held her so closely and not fought Natsuki when she insisted on concealing the child from the world. _

He wakes suddenly, keeping his eyes closed, breathing is worse off than Sesshomaru is and death is imminent for the black-haired dog demon. Sesshomaru tries to focus on the sound of Natsuki's breaths and the way her chest rises and falls taking him with her. It's like the waves of an ocean. There's a reason she isn't like him, that she isn't as sick and has never experienced the seizures that he does and suddenly he is hard thinking about the fact that his head is nestled between her breasts. Even sick it seems he still has an appetite.

"Really? This is what you are thinking about right now?" Natsuki laughs. "Do you even have enough energy for this? Are there cameras in here?"

"Yes, but does that matter?" he says mischievously as he lifts himself up, maneuvering the tube blooming from his chest out of the way. If he's going to die, he might as well get some pleasure out of life before he goes.

She laughs and begins loosening her layers to give him access. She sits up, taking him with her and closes the curtain around them to at least give them privacy from Katsumoto and lets her kimonos fall around her waist. "Your daughter better not walk in on us."

Natsuki is more beautiful than she was the first time he laid with her. Then, it would be the equivalent of a teenage pregnancy but now after two pregnancies her hips have widened so there is a distinct curve in her milky waist and her breasts have grown giving him more to massage. He loosens his own hospital gown, letting it fall down his arms, revealing his naked form and then their bodies intertwine like the notes of a concerto, dancing and fleeting. He can't give her what he once did but there is fire when their lips meet. He rises over her, pressing himself inside. She's so hot it nearly burns as he sheathes himself and thrusts slowly.

Her hand finds her own clit and then she begins moaning softly in his ear as he pumps inside of her. "One more time Sesshomaru." She touches his heart and then wrinkles her eyebrows. "This?" Her fingers trace the scar along his chest, but then she groans when he presses himself harder inside of her finding that spot he knows brings her pleasure. He can't tell her why the scar came back. He won't tell her about Nina being Rin' reincarnation either.

_Do you love me? _he wonders. He thrusts harder inside of her, digging deep, gripping the railing of the bed for support.

He sent Nina back for her own good, at least that is what he tells himself.

He opens his bond to Natsuki although weakly because any more and he will be down with another seizure. He focuses on flooding her with admiration and appreciation. She has been by his side for three and a half centuries and although he doesn't love her, he would die for her, for what she has given him.

"You're lying." She tears holes into the pillows behind her head with her fingers. "You don't love me." Her eyes glaze over as tears sprout from the corner of her eyes.

He thrusts one last time, coming and then collapsing on her chest. "You didn't finish," he laughs, pinching her breast.

"It's alright," she says, combing his hair with her claws. "Why lie to me?"

He exhales against her nipple, closing his eyes to conserve what's left of his energy. "Because I appreciate what you have given me."

"It's a cruel lie." She digs at her fangs and rolls her eyes. "What's taking them so long?"

"Trust her."

"She'll be the death of you. I don't remember their children being like this before," she speaks of what they were like five hundred years before. Mayumi was not this challenging on the other side of the well, but she had not lost her mother and father either.

"Mayumi aches for her father and mother. It can't be helped. You'll have to learn to control her. But if she really detests our home after I'm gone, return her to her grandmother, but make sure she is watched."

"Will this work?"

"If I can get her to come."

"I don't understand how this is supposed to help you," Natsuki speaks softly, pulling a blanket over them. "You've lost more weight. I should have noticed."

He breathes in heavily, eyes drooping again. "My own blood is killing me. It's attacking my body, my organs and the more my yoki flares to fight against it, the worse it gets. This disease was designed to attack yoki. I was sick for too long. We know that but now we know the years I was ill, it allowed the disease to transform the cells in my bloodstream to attack my organs. Rieko was never sick with the disease, her blood will override mine. My yoki will attach to what she gives me and I will grow new cells that won't be infected. The only issue will be is if I will get sick again."

"We have the cure," she says pulling his chin to her so she can kiss him. "I hate waiting."

"You were never one for patience," he laughs, "Katsumoto will go first."

"He holds on for Yuki."

"Yes he does." But then his thoughts are disturbed by his phone ringing on the bedside table. He picks it up and no sooner does it touch his ear than he hears Mayumi on the other end. "_Ojisama! It's Yuki!" _she sobs. The alarms are going off in the background and his stomach plummets. Something went wrong.

"Calm down, what's wrong with Yuki?"

Natsuki sits up straighter, obviously listening to what she is saying.

"_She started seizing and she won't stop. I can't carry her and the medicine, what do I do?"_

"Where are you?"

He hears coughing on the other end of the line and then choking. "Mayumi!" he yells into the phone.

"_Supply closet…near…I can't breathe…Ojisama, please? Help me!"_

_ "_Dammit." He hits the red end button and pulls up Izayoi's number. "Did Tsukimaru come back after he took them home?"

Natsuki sniffs and shakes her head.

He texts Izayoi, _your sister is in trouble. Where are you? _"Harutoga and Taiyomaru are still here. Go Natsuki, tell them to go to the hospital."

_At Nina's hotel? Why?_

_Your sister is in danger. The operation hasn't gone as planned. She's in a supply closet, near the drug lock up. Fifth floor, do you remember where it is? Yuki is seizing._

_Yuki,_ he closes his eyes. It's for his children that he hasn't run himself through with Bakusaiga, for them that he forces himself to live so that they won't die the painful death that he will. _I remember, I'm going Ojisama. I'm going._

**Please review! HEHE I hope to start posting faster because my computer is now replaced. **

**Book recommendation...I haven't read anything new bad me. **

**Coming next! **

**Nina Present**

**Kagome Past**

**Rin-Past**

**Sesshomaru Past**

**Natsuki Past**

**Smmahamazing: **Yes...It was kind of a last minute thought but I couldn't resist the idea. It was too beautiful and Taka and he have such a special relationship.

**kimmigirl9: **HAHA my kids were watching me edit and I was like ahhhhhh, can't cry in front of you.

**Mechine: **I know what the hell is wrong with me? I killed off my favorite OC. Yeah at some point I have to convince people that Natsuki really isn't as bad as they think but I get why they feel like she is. Rin just wanted Sesshomaru to be happy and have someone to make him smile. Oh Nina was insecure but you shall see what happens.

**Itzatakashi: **You are so right, this has all taken a giant toll on Sesshomaru and he is struggling to hold on to who he is and do what he needs to save his people.

**New Reader: **He doesn't know he is being hypocritical. I reveal no plots :)...none whatsoever.

**Jenny Crum: **I know...I love Hisato. He is my favorite OC and I killed him, what is wrong with me!? Did you read the other stories in the series? They are all complete and have easter eggs for this story.

**Harukasempai14: **Rin doesn't know what happened in the castle. I would say she chooses to love him through his faults, even some of the more mega ones. The whole point of Instinct was that they stumbled upon one of his worst fatal flaws, his own demon nature betrayed him and she got that. And as for him, he doesn't know he's going to leave so soon after her death. AND yes...she said she would send Sakura's soul back to him. I give no plot away...but you have no idea what I have in store. HAHAHHA

**Luin-Fanel: **Hisato was a hero...he literally died to save them and make sure they could get what they needed. I was so messed up after writing that scene. Beautiful and heartbreaking.


	66. Nina-Present II

**AHHHH VILBERN started following this story! VILBERN! I'm so excited. **

**And here we have another Nina chapter. OOOOOOO...I think I prefer Nina chapters to be stand-alones so the next one will probably be a single and then after that doubles.**

**I also forgot to mention in this "Part 3 Ashes" I'm changing up the present POV's. I took out Mayumi and put in Harutoga. Why? Because I wanted all of Sessrin kids either in past or present to get a POV...So in Part 4, Taiyomaru takes Yuki's place. **

**Nina-Present**

Izayoi takes us to Umeda sky building but the sun is so bright it hurts my eyes. I can see again. I can see the blues of the building, the way it arches like a U and how the sun reflects off the windows. After that, she takes us to the aquarium and the fish that I imagined before are no longer just blobs in my head. Leopard sharks have brown spots, just like real leopards. Sting rays fly like angels in the water and come in so many shapes and sizes. I've pet them before in the San Francisco zoo but now I know the rough harsh part I felt on top is their spine and the jagged long end is their tail.

By midafternoon I sit down on a bench in front of a giant pool and pick up Lucy's paw. _I feel like I saw him…it's stupid I know. _And she looks at me like she knows what I am saying so I dare to ask, _do you understand me?_

Her eyebrows fall and I'm left to question the sanity of finger signing into my dog's hand. She's been with me for as long as I can remember, but then I begin to wonder, how long will she live for and if I will ever have to replace her. She licks my fingers, always a sign of reassurance as I sit and watch the fat groupers swim by and a gaggle of children come sit in front of the aquarium. They pull out their boxes of rice and vegetables and eat with light in their cheeks that makes me smile.

Children's smiles are always compared to angels, so bright and so light and suddenly I know what that is like to see the light in their smiles. I pick up Lucy's paw again, because she has always been my friend and tell her, _we have two children now in my dreams. A boy and a girl They have the funniest little fuzzy ears. It hurt a lot having the second one and I was scared because I was so tired. It's like my body remembers what it's like to have a baby, I half expected my vagina to be sore when my eyes opened. I thought I talked to him at the clinic, that he was in the bed across from me but when the fever stopped all I saw was Doctor Rinata. He was so sick, do you think he will be okay?_

I swear Lucy's face is sad now and she puts her snout between her two front paws, pulling away from me. So I slide down next to her and say, _maybe it was all just a dream._

She shakes her head as if she is telling me no, but then for the first time I notice her eyes watering. I pick her paw up again and ask, _what's wrong?_ Then I dig in my bag for a treat for her. She likes raw meat better than dried but it's what I have. She takes it gratefully then woofs for another. I can't hear that sound but when she does it against my hands, it's like hot air whooshes against my skin. _It's just been a long day? Hasn't it?_

We go back home to the hotel with Izayoi who tells me that she wants to take a sample of blood back for the doctors to test. She ties a big orange rubber band around my upper arm but I point at my chest, only seeing now that the port-a-cath was taken out. I've had it in for three years. Not the same one but obviously, it's just been in for a while since I never had one. I rub the clean flesh, still feeling like everything is a dream when Izayoi motions to Hannah to come over and help me understand what she is saying.

_We took the cath out because you don't need it anymore. Look at your veins, _Izayoi runs her hand up and down the length of my arms and they are no longer thin and broken. They run like blue cords up my arms, fat and healthy. For the first time in years, one of them pops out just as she pushes the needle in. I don't flinch, I'm used to this but I've never seen the needle before. It's like a butterfly, and then I watch curiously as the vial fills, sucking my life-force like a vacuum. She takes seven tubes but then Lucy grabs one in her mouth and smashes it against the floor.

I try to stop her but she won't have anything to do with it. She starts sniffing the liquid in the carpet and I swear she breaks into a big smile, then leaps onto Izayoi's lap right before she removes the needle from my arm and starts licking Izayoi's nose. I pull her off and wag my finger in her face in warning.

Hannah tells me, _she can live without that vial. They'll test the blood and if it's all clear we'll go home in a few days._

I take Lucy's paw and tell her, _you made a mess! Don't do that again. _As if she can understand me, but I think she doesn't care. Her tail is wagging so fast it's hitting me in the face and then she jumps in my lap and I swear she is so calm it's almost scary.

_Izayoi wants to know if there is anywhere else in Japan you would like to see while you are here? _Hannah spells into my hands.

I lift my hands up watching them carefully and begin to sign out, _Can I see Dr. Rinata again? _I can't help it, I'm worried about him. He was thin, pale and stunk. But I won't tell him that.

Izayoi's face falls and she shakes her head.

Hannah tells me, _he's too sick. I'm sorry. He isn't taking visitors for a long time._

_How is she related to him?_

_She is his niece. How could you tell?_

_The white hair. It's the same as his. How old is she?_

_Almost eighteen._

_How does she get to work in a medical office?_

Izayoi's face falls and then she plasters on the fakest smile I have ever seen. _Her parents had an emergency with her brothers and she is staying with her Uncle until they get back. She helps with the paperwork. _She's lying, only part of that was true but I don't know which part. But then I wonder how we've been making so many trips and I sign to Hannah again, _How are we paying for all these trips?_

Hannah smiles and pats my hands, _It's part of the treatment. That's what Dr. Yamamoto told me. They often treat the people who are so sick to touring around Japan because they haven't been able to do anything else. So where else do you want to go?_

There is something you become a master of when you can't hear or see and that is detecting changes in the air. It becomes thick when negative emotions rule, electric when things are frightening or happy and at times, even makes your hair stand on edge. Izayoi has glanced down at her cellphone and suddenly she is up bowing to Hannah and runs out the door, but oddly it's not just her that goes, Lucy runs after her. Hannah runs after Lucy but by the time we get to the door, Lucy and Izayoi are gone.

**Please review! Uh-oh...now Lucy and Izayoi left. Will they get there in time?**

**Kimmigirl9: **Me too! I do hope they get there in time. Come on! We can't lose Yuki.

**Guest:** No...Rieko is not part of the cure. In Instinct it says Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru. There was something special about the combination of their blood and their blood alone.

**Mechinex2:** You know what's fun writing this story? I can smut everyone! I wrote Sessrin, Sessoc, Inukag, Kagoc smut. Like I literaly get to branch out and write combinations rather than stick to only the main protagonist smutting. So close...now Taka is on the case to help. Muwahahaa! I love being the exception. I actually read him with Kagome and with OC's. Overall I love that he can be shipped with almost anyone. My OTP for him is Rin but I am so picky when I read I branch out. So Sesshomaru isn't worried if Natsuki loves him, he's trying to find out if Tsukimaru is right and somewhere along their time together Natsuki fell in love with him. It won't influence him one way or another. He doesn't love her and she isn't Rin.

**New Reader:** Yes I hope faster updates as long as my personal life doesn't interfere. I want this story off my plate so to speak so I can focus on new stories. HAHA no...the reincarnation thing has more to do with Rin's ability to think of others and not herself. Her only thought was that Sesshomaru would be miserable when she died and alleviating it with their reincarnated daughter. I honestly understand no one will love Natsuki as much as I do. And you will find out about Rieko in the coming chapters.

**Harukasempai14:** Actually in Instinct, my original plan had been to break that bond but then everyone kept saying, make her suffer, make her suffer...what better way than to be bound to someone for centuries and never experience pure love? I thought it was poetic. Others perhaps not. You will find out about Rieko and Sesshomaru in the coming chapters.

**Itzatakahashi:** You know I seem to remember you telling me on tumblr I should write more smut...well there's some smut but yeah he's a man, he's sick, he's dying, he wants sex and will take who and what is available. I'm just surprised no one said anything about Katsumoto being in the room while he did. Yeah you definitely get it that all of this, everything takes a toll on Sesshomaru. A very pricy toll.

**Jenny Crum:** Thank you! Oh trouble always comes...at least when I write.

**Guest:** You know what? Pinkdragonstrike already did that. I don't remember the name of the story and let me tell you something interesting...people are okay if Rin cheats on Kohaku with Sesshomaru but not if Sesshomaru cheats. Like it's okay for her because she wants to be with Sess anyway...Technically in Sesshomaru's Heart she did cheat on Kohaku unintentionally. But Alas, I'm going to be working on other ventures.


	67. Kagome Past IX

**Hello all you wonderful people! My goodness this story is moving along. **

**Well...I'm drawing a blank and most likely have nothing of any importance to say so let's go!**

**Recap of the past timeline: In the last past POV Hisato sacrificed himself so that Rin and Hineko could escape with the thousand year berries. And Rin found out about Sesshomaru's sister Rieko that was kept hidden from him.**

**Kagome-past**

"Not so quickly Jaken," she holds a flask up to his mouth helping him drink. They've managed to keep him alive by the skin of their teeth for the last year. The never ending winter is torment on the humans that live in their village but a savior to the sick demons. Without the raging fever, the rash can't spread as quickly, the organs don't shut down and they went from dying within weeks of contracting the disease to some being sick for years. Sayako and Jaken have been sick the longest and continue to fight. "That's good," she encourages Jaken as Sesshomaru comes in with his own flask of warmed tea.

They have a routine. Every two hours, she and twenty other humans circle the infected, hydrating them. After that Sesshomaru, Nobuatsu and Jinenji who joined them months before go through the sick administering the herbs that have been keeping the poison at bay. At night she and Sesshomaru and Rin sit around their private dining-table writing notes about the ones that are ill. They are meticulous and remind her of case studies in her time with each one giving them data to refer back to extend their lives.

She no longer fears Taisho and Sota becoming ill. They've been around the disease as long as she has and yet they show no signs of illness. Six months before, Sesshomaru said to her while they were tending to a group of orphaned sick hanyou children, "their humanity is saving them."

"There we go," she leans over touching Jaken's forehead. "You're not as hot today? How are you?"

He raises one hand and shakes it back and forth. "I won't die to something as pathetic as this." He can't move but his stubbornness makes her smile. "What are you smiling about human?"

"You're strength. It's good to see. Onisama." She bows to him as he begins to administer the medicine to the sick imps. She leaves them and goes to the next hut.

She finds Sota reading a scroll, an old fable to Sayako. In the hut Koga sits off in the corner panting from the fever with Ayame next to him. They came as soon as they heard the word 'shelter'. The monks ravaged the North, the Birds of Paradise were too stubborn to form an alliance and were gone. All that is left of the wolf-demons are here. Taisho is nowhere in sight, most likely tending to the barrier. "How is she?"

"Holding on," Sota says wearily. "I…Ojisama helped me. I can take some of her pain but if I thread too much yoki it hurts her. If I leave, she aches. It's like I'm keeping her alive, just by being here. Ka-san…" he looks at her with a hope in her eyes that hurts. **He** never said anything about her sons, about Sayako.

"She'll be fine. Keep fighting for her." She kneels down next to Koga pulling his head into her lap and administering the chilled drink they have been making. "Open up," she says, rolling his head sideways. He drinks gratefully and then she does the same for Sayako and Ayame.

"Miko we need more eucalyptus, lavender and feverfew," Sesshomaru says as he kneels over Sayako inspecting her blisters. "These are getting worse."

"I can't heal them Ojisama. When I try to use her yoki, they bleed," Sota tells him with strain in his voice.

"Maintain her pain. Her heart is racing trying to keep up. Calm her." He begins to change the bandages.

"Sesshomaru you shouldn't do that." Kagome leans down to stop him.

"It's only a matter of time, Kagome," he says warmly as his poison destroys the infected bandages and he slices off new ones, coating them in clay. "I will not hide from this."

"And if you get sick?"

"Then I get sick," he says quietly in the darkened hut. "The herbs."

"I'll go," she says softly, leaving the hut. Her first stop is the sanitation hut to wash herself and change her clothes. Only after that, while she shivers from the cold of the hut does she go to Miroku and Sango. The barrier tickles her skin as she exits but then she is hit by a blast of summer warming her bones. She throws her coat off, soaking in the humid heat of summer, breathing deeply.

Sesshomaru doesn't allow demons to leave the barrier any longer for fear of the yoki attracting every monk and miko in the area. It's been clear for years now that they won't stop until every last youkai is wiped from the earth.

She finds their children playing in the front of the house, Miroku and Sango sit on the porch. "Kagome!" Sango calls to her.

"Sango!" She runs up to her and hugs her friend. "Any news?"

Miroku purses his lips. "I traveled to several temples over the last few weeks. It seems that a purge has been ordered and those with spiritual powers who resist are being killed."

"What did they do to deserve this?" Kagome takes a seat with them. "To die like this? It's so painful."

"They said they were too powerful, their lives too long. They can't be controlled, so they must be put down. I slipped away," Miroku clenched his teeth. "They won't see reason. They know about this place Kagome-sama."

"What?"

"They know he is hiding demons somewhere but they can't find it," Sango speaks tiredly. "How is Kirara?"

"Still hanging on. She sleeps with Aun. Now he's sick too, but he seems to tolerate it better." Kagome leans her back against the hut, deep in thought. _All along you knew and you never told me. You knew the cure, why couldn't you tell me…_ "We need more herbs."

"They're growing well. The fox demons have tripled our supply. They come at night when everyone is asleep," Sango speaks.

"I should get moving. I'm sorry I can't stay longer."

As the night wears on she goes in search of Sato. He isn't in his hut, or waiting for her in her bedroom, where they no longer hide their unorthodox relationship. She has no intention of marrying him. They are fond of each other but they both know that love is not in their future. It's for comfort, solace and peace of mind they continue to seek each other out.

Her senses stretch out into the chilled night and her shoes crunch against the snow. She finds him near the edge of the barrier, watchful yet staring at the stars. He pats the earth next to him, wrapping his black mokomoko around her shoulders. "I was in love once," he begins and she listens, "so long ago it's almost as if I forgot about Hotaru." She leans into his shoulder as a sign of support.

"It was a century ago. Hisato and I left the castle together. He, to escape Gobodo-sama and me to escape the judgment of my people. I was less than them and more than a hanyou and yet we had no place. There are only a handful like us and we are a scourge, a shame and a disgrace. Hisato and I had different ideas of where to go on land, so we decided to set out different directions. He went North and I went East to the beaches, to see the ocean. We agreed we would meet again in a century in the castle, share our lives, the adventures we went on.

"There was a beach town before the ocean in the East. It was being savaged by Samurais as I flew over it. The huts were burning, children crying, women screaming, nothing I hadn't seen before. I meant to keep going when I heard a woman singing. She had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. But almost rhythmically, it broke in pain.

"I followed the voice to a bay where twelve were taking turns on her and I can't explain the rage that entered my heart in that moment, fury. She was singing and staring at the sky, hands held down as if she was used to this. I killed them and had every intention to leave when she grabbed my mokomoko with tears in her eyes.

"She didn't speak and wouldn't for months, but I knew what she was asking."

"Take me with you," Kagome says with tears in her eyes. "She must have been so traumatized."

"She was. She didn't speak to me. Not when I travelled, not to thank me for finding her food, clothing or providing her shelter. I tried to find a village for her to go to, but each time I tried to leave, she sang and my heart melted. I couldn't help it.

"Until one day, three months later she told me she was pregnant. Those were her first words, 'I'm pregnant, I don't know who the father is.' And from there, her story came out. We spent the entire night talking by a campfire on a cliff. She told me she was the daughter of poor fishermen. They sold her for rice and sake to a travelling merchant, who sold her to a Geisha house. She was a high priced, sensuous performer. The Samurais had destroyed the house she lived in and killed nearly everyone except for her and another girl who threw herself into the ocean to avoid being raped.

"Occasionally, if the price was high enough, she would bed her customers. The first time she had sex, she laid down on a thin pillow and lifted her kimono spreading her legs. It didn't matter that it hurt, that she didn't like it and then she was instructed to drink a tea that made her bleed heavily for several weeks after and again after any client she had sex with."

Kagome purses her lips, knowing the tea was to keep her from getting pregnant.

"She didn't think to ask for the tea and she was sure one of the samurais was the father. What story would she tell if she went back to humans? Her whole life she had been a prized prostitute and now with a child to feed? She asked me to kill her and instead I asked her name. Hotaru, firefly. It fit her, because her eyes were so bright and blue, so strangely blue like the ocean. I told her that I would care for her and the child.

"I delivered Sora myself. I sat between her legs and held her while she cried in labor. He came into this world, beautiful like a spring sky, so bright and happy. I cared for her while she healed, tended to her, to them. I loved him like he was my own son." He swallows, raising a knee, eyes on the sky. "A year later, we were sitting by the ocean, watching the waves crash while Sora slept in my mokomoko and as the moon shown down on her, I kissed her. I had felt it from the moment I saved her. The undeniable need to be with her, to bond her. The kiss was soft at first, sweet but then it became wanting and she became scared. She had never felt pleasure before, only pain, only ever told to lay down and spread her legs and if not that than to find other ways to please her patrons. I gave that night," he closes his eyes. "I gave to her like I do to you and bonded her, cementing her place by my side. Three months later she told me again she was pregnant, this time I knew the child was mine."

"What happened to them?"

His breaths tense, his knuckles flex at his sides and he throws sticks and dirt into the air. "My own kind turned against me. Hisato returned to me, asking for help in avenging a demon who had besmirched our family's honor. If I refused, I would look weak. I left her, six months pregnant with my child, with Sora in a cave, near a stream with enough food to care for her needs and said I would return.

"While I was vanquishing this enemy, more flew down against her. They killed the love of my life, the child we created but Sora…Sora hid in a pool of water in the back of the cave. I knew the moment it happened, when our bond broke. Hisato came with me. He found Sora. Together we raised him until he was a man, and then we sent him to live with his own kind, not unlike what Sesshomaru-sama did for Rin-sama. He married and had children, grand-children. He passed away an old man. I was the families demon guardian." He laughs. "I loved that woman," he breaks crying into his knee. "My brother…"

She wraps her arms around him, knowing the pain he is feeling. She felt it herself years before when she lost her husband. "I'm so sorry."

"Kagome," Sato speaks quickly. "I do not feel the same yearning to bond you, but despite that I have grown fond of you, of our time together." He runs a tender thumb down her chin and asks her, "If I survive this…if this disease not kill me, will you be my wife?"

"What?"

"Will you be my wife? I cannot offer you what you had with Inuyasha, but I can offer you one who would appreciate and care deeply for you. Be my wife?"

The answer doesn't come as quickly as she wishes it would. She is fond of their time together, not just the physical aspect but for moments like this when words are enough and she no longer feels the pain of her own loss. "Is there no one else out there for you? What if I say yes and you run across someone else?"

"You mean if I do what Sesshomaru-sama did? My humanity allows me to resist." Their fingers intertwine and he kisses the back of her hand tenderly. "You will have my heart and my loyalty for the rest of our lives. No matter how fleeting they may be."

"Yes," she presses her mouth into his, threading her fingers into the hair of his neck.

He pulls back shaking his head, "I'm sick Miko."

The words hit her like ice through the heart, like bricks, like death.

**Please review! OH poor Sato. But at least we know he survives but in this timeline he doesn't know he survives and neither does Kagome. **

**Book recs! I'm starting Deja Dead by Kathy Reichs. She writes the Bones series. Very good I've heard. Also started the Stephanie Plum series. **

**Kimmigirl9: **She as checking to see if the Leukemia was gone. Based on Taka's reaction, I think Nina might be in the clear.

**Guest:** I humbly disagree because it was not the same at all. She may have apologized but she still left with Sesshomaru and the reviewers say it's okay because she went to Sesshomaru which actually shows some bias. The same author wrote a one shot of Sesshomaru cheating on Rin with another demoness and again he was villainized which basically leads me to believe that the fandom is okay if Rin cheats on Kohaku but if Sesshomaru cheats on Rin...which is an odd double standard. And again... according to his kind, he did not cheat on Rin. She can call it that but to him it wasn't and never will be.

**New readerx3:** So weird. Your second review popped up twice. I swear fanfiction is a wonky site sometimes. Oh trust me it's punishment. Imagine living with someone who does treat you well, who tends you but it's never out of love but obligation and you know that he will never love you but because of a spiritual bond you can't leave him. At least if they were both human they can amicably divorce and find someone better but like this, they are stuck. FOREVER...unless we get a broken heart or someone dies. Course there is also...350 years of Natsuki can never measure to 150 years of Rin. Man would I hate living in the "other" woman's shadow.

**Mechine: **I totally ship her and Kohaku too. I think both of their traumatic pasts and the obvious PTSD that Kohaku has would make it so that they would pair well but not like SessRin. It's why I paired her with Kohaku in Sesshomaru's Heart. I feel in a way they would have ended up together. Also personally, if they don't do sessrin for the sequel they better do KohRin or I'll be pissed.

**Harukasempai14:** Well knowing dog demons in my stories, Natsuki probably would find someone to have sex with but another lover? Who knows...most likely he would be either human or like Rieko and Sato who are partially just hates on Taka because of who her mother is. Taka is more an innocent in all this because she was born from an unfavored union.

**Jenny Crum:** So much more to come :)

**Itzatakashi: **AHHH I forgot to respond...again...it better upload so you can see it. Yes they had a curtain shut and he's probably used to seeing this LOL. HAHA Yes she's getting more memories...just wait there's more to come.


	68. RinPastXIISesshomarupastXIII

**OMG Luin-Fanel! You reminded me of Dororo. I knew when I posted that last chapter that I was forgetting something and that was to credit Dororo with the idea for Sato's lover. Ugh brain case!**

**Well I'm watching Harry Potter while posting this so I have no idea if I'm going to forget to say something. I'm so excited for this story! It's funny I thought I would work more on originals after finishing it but instead, I've gotten back into Fire and Ice. It's an awesome AU if you haven't started reading it. My attempt at being fluffy. :)**

**Yes we have another double up! Because all these next chapters kind of go one after the other. **

**Recap: Hisato gave his life to save Rin and Hineko so they could get the Thousand Year berries. Rin as of yet had not told Sesshomaru. **

**Rin-Past**

Her bed is soaked with tears. She scrubs at her eyes trying to stop the never ending flow, to end the bitterness that she feels. Hisato was her friend, confidant and guardian for nearly twenty years. She allows herself to feel anger. _He _didn't tell her they would lose Hisato, only that their children wouldn't die but would become sick but as of how soon she doesn't know. She's been slipping herbs into their food, into their drinks, trying to build their immune-systems…_immune systems. Immune systems. _Sesshomaru had told her about them, how in humans they fought disease and infection.

She runs into his office and starts rummaging through his books, particularly the ones on medicine. They are wordy and difficult for her to understand. She doesn't have the brain he does or the endless nights to stay up and read them. She pilfers through them until she finds what she is looking for. "Oh kami," she whispers, with shaking hands, barely able to read the words from the tremors. He taught her how to read these. They spent nights curled in each other's arms. She quizzed him until he could translate them fluently from whatever Japanese they write in Kagome's time.

She touches her own neck, palpating the sides where it says lumps of some kind swell when you are ill. Sesshomaru has felt them in the past on her and then she thinks back to the times she has touched his neck and her bottom lip begins to tremble. _Oh no…_she runs out of her room, into the hallway with the book to the dining area where the healthy orphan children are gathered. "Yuki! Harutoga! Taiyomaru!" They are playing with Shiori, Rei-chan and other children.

They run to her, tackling her again, exclaiming, "Ka-san! We missed you!" Shiori follows behind them and for a moment Rin wonders if the little girl misses her mother. She hugs Shiori tightly and sits down with all of them. "Come here," she says smiling, palpating their necks, her eyes widen…_okay mine are bigger, but they are children, I need to compare this to human children._

"What are you doing Ka-san?" Harutoga asks her, brushing her hands off his neck.

There's no time to answer. "Katsumoto!" she calls the sentinel who has been bound to the house. As he approaches, tall and regal, she looks for sign of hidden infection, the blisters Hisato concealed from her, the fever, redness around the eyes, in the eyes. If she had only paid enough attention.

"Kneel, now," she demands and he complies. Her fingers glide along his neck and then press in searching for the bulbs on the neck. "This can't be," she shivers, the fear tickles down her spine, freezing her.

"What?" Katsumoto raises an eyebrow.

"Come my love," she closes her eyes, furiously concentrating. He doesn't come as often anymore. He's been pushing her away and she knows it. "Come my love, please…this once just listen to me." There's no care as to whether or not she is in public. There's not time. "Please…"

Then she feels the familiar roar of his yoki. She hands him the book before he can ask what's wrong. "Look, I can't believe we missed this. Look at the picture, the glands, the things on the neck."

"Lymph nodes," he corrects her so arrogantly she wants to slap him. How is she supposed to know what they are called? He may have taught her to read these books but she can't read it as well as he can.

"Lymph nodes." She reaches up and palpates his neck, the skin lacks the lumps. "You don't have an immune system Sesshomaru…sama," she adds the aphorism after the fact. "The children do, but I can't tell if it's the right size. They feel smaller than mine."

Understanding glows in his eyes. He begins touching the sides of his neck and then down the back. "Katsumoto, stay with the children."

"But you just got back!" Taiyomaru yells as they fly down the hall into his office.

"There are more than just the neck." He sets the book down and begins removing her layers. He tugs her hikama off, her hankimono and then her under layer. He lifts her arms, feeling the ones in the armpits, then the ones in her stomach. "Lay down."

"The floor is cold!" she protests, naked, allowing him to use her as his experiment.

He goes down with her, bracing her back with his mokomoko. He palpates her stomach again. She watches him nod and then grab one of his notebooks. He writes and draws the sizes of what he feels, where he finds them and studies the book to find the rest. He touches her groin making her laugh. "Rin," it comes out as a warning.

"I can't help it, it tickles." She forces her breaths to even out as he continues examining her.

"You don't feel ill?"

She shakes her head, sitting up as he pulls away, still squatting. She reaches for her hikama and begins dressing quickly. His study is freezing. "Is that important?"

"They swell, when one is ill." He paces back and forth, raking his hand through his hair. "We have no immune system. Sota said it was the same monk that came to the village, the same one selling treats, the same one who infected Inuyasha." He slumps against the wall, panting. "They did this knowing what it would do to us."

She bites her lower lip. things are so different between them now and she made her choice to stand by him, to support him, to see who he would become. The Sesshomaru in the future is a healer, _it starts now. My love, _she touches his heart. "Share it with me."

He shakes his head, vehement.

"You can't bare this alone my love." She tries to hug him only for him to get up and push past her.

"Sesshomaru!" She won't tell him about Rieko, not yet. Sato told her that Hisato and Gobodo-sama feared his jealousy, his wrath before he began to change and were afraid he would kill her for what she was. Mostly yokai with the few drops of human blood that Hisato provided. She was made in the throes of passion as Hisato bound Gobodo-sama. They kept her hidden in the castle. Hisato had missed the last twenty years of her life…_for me. _Then the tears come again and she can't stop them. "My love, please?"

He turns from the door and lifts her chin. "I need to find human children to examine. The Monk and the Slayer."

"Your mother is dying—"

"What?" His eyes widen.

"Hisato…I'm sorry," she takes a deep breath forcing herself to relax. "Hisato died to get the thousand year berries." She coughs trying to control herself. "Please?"

He inches forward wrapping his arms around her and resting his lips against her head. "What happened?"

She can feel his yoki rising through their bond, coursing within her, calming her fractious heart so she can speak. "They were guarding it. They knew we needed it and I tried distracting them, it didn't work. There was no other way to get the berries and he was sick already. He sacrificed himself so we could escape."

His grip tightens on her shoulder. Through the comfort a slow tang of his mourning pierces her soul. She isn't the only one in pain.

"He said she was sick, she's dying—"

He doesn't wait for her to say more. He's gone and she is left in the cold of his study alone, in tears.

**Sesshomaru-past**

His first stop is by the halberd that sits in the middle of the village. He grasps the long hilt with the crescent moon end and summons the yoki inside, a veritable winter that chills the bones of the humans that live in is village. Pyres rage throughout the night on the opposite end of where they keep the ill to warm the humans and hanyous. It is why he moved the children who had lost their parents to his home. The public dining hall is no longer used to display his wealth and power to would be allies, but is full of tabi mats and children who have lost their parents and are not ill. _How long until my children succumb?_

The yoki rises up, chilling the air again until he can see his breath. He feels an ache in the bottom of his feet that makes him wince, but he ignores it and moves on to the garden outside the barrier, gathering herbs and stuffing them inside of the breast of his kimono. His mother has herbs, but as far as he knows, only those coming to the barrier are living the longest. He leaves into the sky when he finishes. _Mother…_

He has not seen her since Natsuki left his room. The ache for Natsuki has grown with time and borders on painful at times to ignore. But then it's not like with Rin. A week away from her and he feels like he can't breathe. Two weeks without Rin and his body begins to burn. It's why they made the week he spent away revolve around her cycles.

His mother congratulated him and said, "Don't look so forlorn Sesshomaru. You're lover and children are safe now."

_Safe, _the word tastes bitter in his mouth. Safe until he realized from Sota's admission that a monk had concocted this deadly virus to target his kind. Safe until they ravaged his people. _How many will die?_

He floats into the air, breathing in the humid summer air. It burns his lungs at first from the heat and makes him sweat. As he flies, he feels a drag on his yoki and the bubbling blistered feeling returns onto the soles of his feet. He's felt pain since this morning, but refused to stop and look at them. His body shivers the more he flies and he feels himself weakening. For a brief moment, he loses altitude only to rally and force himself back into the skies.

He touches his own forehead, feeling a heat that is not his own, a foreign ache behind his eyes that he isn't used to. _So it begins. _He knew it would come. He knew he would become sick. Nobuatsu was already in the beginning stages but because he had been giving himself herbs the disease was not progressing as quickly. Sesshomaru has also been drugging himself with the cocktail. He removes some of the feverfew from his breast pocket and chews it, feeling the effects and continues on his way.

Behind him, he can feel Rin's anguish and yearning. She aches so deeply, the pain enters his heart and he feels wetness by his eyes. _Hisato…_he never thanked Hisato for his years of service, for the times Hisato was with Rin when he couldn't be. Rin had told him that Hisato sacrificed himself. _An honorable death_. But Rin's ache is so deep, it shakes even Sesshomaru's heart.

He lands on his mother's steps to the scent of sickness. It runs rampant in the hallways. There are bodies burning near her dais. He closes his eyes, taking in her scent and flying as quickly as he can to her room. She is frail and thin, blistered up to her elbows. She wears a simple maroon, silk almost see through yukata. "Mother," he speaks quietly, knowing that in the end stages even the smallest sound causes unbelievable head pain. He sits gingerly next to her, and takes her blistered fingers in his hands. It's already too late to help her with the herbs.

"Sesshomaru." Her crust covered eyes open with difficulty.

He rips a corner of her sheet off and cleans her eyelids tenderly. "You should have sent for me."

"You are not kami-sama Sesshomaru," her voice croaks, making him cringe. She has ever had confidence and strength radiate from her mouth. Now it's weak, like a weeping willow, a faun losing its mother, more tender than a doe in its first year and breaking his heart.

"I could have slowed the symptoms," he strokes the hair from her face, removing the shells from her hair. "Yuki will like these. Where is the meido stone?"

"Hidden." She inhales like a flute, closing her eyes as her breathing slows. "You will find it one day."

He nods, uncaring that she did not give it to him. "Mother," he buries his face in her stomach, allowing the sorrow and mourning to enter. "900 years I've spent knowing you would always be here waiting for me."

He feels claws run into his hair, barely able to move the strands on his scalp. "You are strong Sesshomaru. You will survive. You will not give up."

"I can't save you mother, not even with Tenseiga."

"Don't try," her breaths come in sputters, making tears form in his eyes. "Let me rest with him. Hisato is waiting for me."

He shakes his head, not wanting to let her go, but knowing that she has minutes, hours at most. He buries his nose in her stomach like he did when he was a child. "Do you remember when you first sent me to live with father?" he asks her, wondering if it was as hard for her as it was for him.

"You ran away twenty seven times before your father finally convinced you to stay."

"I stopped because I thought if I made myself strong enough, you would want me to be with you again."

"I never wanted to say goodbye Sesshomaru." Her fingers are in his hair again. "Such a sweet boy, with a good heart. I'm proud of the Dai-youkai you have become Sesshomaru. You are…my pride…and joy."

"Not yet," he reaches for her face. "Mother?" But her mouth has already gone slack, her eyes glaze over, lifeless. He lets himself mourn, crying into her stomach, gripping her shoulder. _Too many…why? What did we do to deserve this?_

His chest aches, his mind is a flurry of feelings and emotions and all he wants is to return to Rin, to find comfort in her arms. He slides down the side of the bed with tears in his eyes and finally forces himself to remove the black shoes that cover his feet. He cringes as he does, rubbing the soles of his feet. They are covered in purple and red blisters. He exhales heavily, leaning his head against his mother's bed.

"Sesshomaru?" he hears the voice of his other. He quickly puts his shoes back on and says, "Do not come in."

Natsuki enters anyway but keeps her distance timidly. "It's too late," she lifts the hem of her kimono to show him the red spots that cover her ankles. "I'm so scared," she rushes to him, wrapping her arms around his chest and burying her nose into his pecs.

His yoki immediately rises up, tangling itself in hers as the two radiate comfort. His lips find Natsuki's, dipping his tongue into her mouth. He stops himself, resting his forehead against hers when his head begins to hurt. "You cannot stay here."

"Where will I go?"

"Where is our son?"

"In my room. I haven't let anyone near him, but he still needs to nurse. He's going to get sick, Sesshomaru please? I'm so scared. I need you." She clings to him as if her life depends on their skin connecting.

"You will come to my home. I cannot bring you with me." He pecks her mouth again. "I can't lose her, not now. Take Tsukimaru, and come to my home. A hut will be prepared for you in the village. I will care for you." He removes the herbs from his pocket, handing them to her. "Take these every two hours. Drink often. Do you understand?"

She nods, moving his head with hers as tears stream down her striped cheeks.

He wipes them away, bringing her into his chest. "You will not die. I will care for you." He lets his yoki rise up again, bleeding comfort into his bond to Natsuki, only to feel light headed again. "What is this?"

"What," she snivels as she clings to him.

"Comfort me."

Her yoki rises and then it stops.

"What did you feel?"

"Pain."

"It's connected to our yoki. I felt it as I comforted you, as I flew and…" he thinks back to the way the halberd made his skin start to burn.

She holds his elbows, tears coming again. "I don't want to die."

"You will not die my sweet one. I will sustain you. Come to my home. Leave everything behind."

"What if she's angry?"

"I will not be forced to choose between you now. You must live and our son." He backs away, allowing himself the pleasure of her mouth one more time. "Drink often."

"My throat hurts."

"Drink and take these herbs." He kisses her knuckles. "I'll be waiting for you. Keep Tsukimaru close to you. If he gets sick, boil these herbs in hot water and give them to him."

Natsuki nods, pursing her lips. "Please? One more kiss? I need…"

She doesn't need to finish. He lifts her up, and presses her against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist as he devours her lips. "You are also mine and I will dishonor our bond no longer. Come to my home. Do not tell her that I am also ill."

Natsuki shakes her head as her legs come down.

_My heart, _he thinks, hoping that Rin will understand. There is no choosing between them now, he needs them both to survive. _I must protect them both._

**Please review! Okay now they are both keeping things from each other! **

**I just finished Off the Page by Jodi Picout and Samnatha Van Leer and Between the Lines. They are adorable. Imagine someone taking the trope of character comes out of their fictional story and falls in love with the girl but it's told so well. These are YA novels but Jodi is one of my favorite published authors.**

**Responses: **

**Kimmigirl9: **I'm just imagining you with a blanket for this chapter too! I think I cried writing it, but not editing it.

**Smmahamazing:** I blame it on FFN. It's a bit nuts sometimes. Like at times it will say I can't review on chapters I haven't said anything on. And I hate that you can only leave one per chapter. I mean maybe it's a good thing so someone can't troll, but we can't edit either, so maybe they should allow it. OOO summary concept, snap you just reminded me to write it!

**Mechine:** I swear the tragedy is all RT's fault. If you think about it, no one who was in a relationship with demon lived that long. Toga was killed. Tsukiyomaru was killed. No one knows what happened to Jinenji's mom and that bull hanyou...it's just never pretty. I'm tempted to write a KohRin LOL...I actually really like them but they aren't my OTP. I think anyone can pair well if you write it well.

**New Reader:** HAHA I'm not sure I'm going to give Tsukimaru a POV. As of right now, he doesn't have one. But you do learn more about him and his childhood in later chapters and in some way I think it helps to humanize his response to Rin's reincarnation. HEHE I give no plot away...as of yet, Rin has not found out about what happened...but the story isn't over yet.

**Luin-Fanel:** I'm not mean...I'm just the writer. It's not my fault the characters chose to go this direction LOL! So again Taka and Katsumoto aren't meant to bond with each other. It's literally just breeding stock which kind of sucks for Taka.

**Itzatakahashi:** Men right? I think he just needed to get it off his chest. Not to mention he just lost his brother and found out his niece is out there somewhere.

**Harukasempai14:** They aren't going to bond. That feeling is missing but Sato enjoys being with her. HAHA you are so mean? I can tell you that Tsukimaru isn't going to die and that's all I'm going to say because anything else would be a spoiler.

**Vilbernx4: ** Yay yay! I am so glad to have you on this one. I swear it's like my badge of honor when I win people who ship sesskag over. I agree it takes the story being told the right way for Rin and Sesshomaru to work well. So Sesshomaru was trying to refuse because he made a promise in Instinct and he didn't want to go back on it. However, as you can see, it became a necessity. Thank you so much for the compliments! I also shamelessly love Natsuki. Even if she is an anti-hero. Kagome is very fiery in this story. I really like how she sticks up for what's right and doesn't back down. And yes Rin and Sesshomaru drive me crazy in this story. But I think it's part of what makes it good. I also feel bad for Natsuki. She's trapped in a situation she never wanted to be in the first place. OMG Cholera? I should check that out. I'm horrible...literally I came up with this story I think October/November last year? Long before COVID even hit Wuhan, China. Yuki is super fun to write...it's funny I think she's a lot like Towa will be. I also usually only really like Sessrin AU. I've read a handful of really good Canon. Most of them written pre FA and a few post FA. It definitely has to be written right to take it away from the idea that he is a paternal figure or that their relationship is equal.

**Jenny Crum:** I hope you like this next chapter too!


	69. Natsuki-PastVRin-Past XIII

**Hello! OO we're getting there. I should really count how many chapters we have left...but meh, we'll get there.**

**Guys we hit another milestone! 600 review! Okay technically 605 as of this morning. I literally was giddy when the counter passed 600. I cannot believe this story has gotten so much feedback and it makes me soo happy! **

**So without further adieu here we go!**

**Natsuki-past**

Natsuki still clings to Sesshomaru's shoulders, tasting the salt that drips off his lips. His body is warm and trembling. She knows what it means, he's just as sick as she is. "You should see him." She takes Sesshomaru's hand and leads him to her bedroom, but the very thought of bringing him to her bedroom, makes her think of removing his silks and then she becomes hot below, despite the fever she feels. It's been so long and she's been so alone.

"Enough," he rebukes her, voice coming out hoarse. He holds the sides of Tsukimaru's basinet next to her bed. "Tsukimaru," Sesshomaru mutters, keeping his distance. She senses fear wafting off him, as if touching his son will contaminate him.

Natsuki's heart aches. Years before, Sesshomaru sent Hisato with a message saying he could no longer come to the castle, it would risk spread the disease. For a while Tsukimaru was inconsolable, leaving her feeling even more isolated.

"He missed you." She wipes her eyes, trying to get control of her emotions. "He must have gotten used to you coming and visiting, because he spent months crying and then all of a sudden it stopped."

Sesshomaru nods, lifting up his son, inhaling the breath of the babies mouth. Tsukimaru is ten now, yet still a chubby baby. He's pudgy in the cheeks, with double stripes like his father and as the child's nose begins to work, his serious face breaks into a slow grin. He grasps his father's cheeks in his and immediately begins tearing. As if reading the baby's mind, Sesshomaru says softly, "My little one. Chichiue is here now."

"He missed you," she repeats herself, unable to breathe, unable to think, yet so desperate to see the two of them together.

"Is he walking?"

"He tried before I got sick, but now he won't leave me. He stays in bed with me and I was so scared that he would become ill." She buries her nose in Sesshomaru's shoulder, still unable to think straight. All she wants is comfort and hope that she won't die like the many bodies that are piled in the castle.

"Start packing," Sesshomaru tells her, sitting on her bed. "I will stay until you are finished."

"I don't know what to take." She rummages through a trunk until she finds a long sash and sets it on the bed.

"A wooden bottle for water, a kettle to boil the herbs. Boil the water from the river before you drink it."

She nods, and runs out of the room, leaping the stairs and flashing down hallways until she makes it to the kitchen. The cook died months ago. His body was burned with the others below. There isn't even food because no one has been well enough to fly below and retrieve it. She fumbles through the cupboards until she finds a pot and a kettle. She brings them back to her room.

Sesshomaru lays on his back, making Tsukimaru fly through the air in his arms, smiling. Her heart melts, years of sorrow and loneliness are washed away seeing the father of her child. "You really do love him as much as the others."

Sesshomaru nods. "He is not at fault for how he was concieved."

Natsuki shudders at the words. Behind them she can sense blame and frustration. Her fate is sealed, no matter what happens she will never receive absolution. "Take bandages," he says getting up, holding their child on his hip, taking out an older obi from her drawers. He slices it into strips for her and puts it in the pack. "Use clay from the river to soothe the pain and minimal yoki. Listen to me Natsuki, the fever will get worse. You must cool yourself when you rest. Drink often, even if it hurts. Do you understand?"

She nods, her stomach cramping and fear beginning to take over.

"I need to return. She is in pain," he says no more and flies out the door, leaving her with Tsukimaru. She ties him to her back with the bag of supplies, then follows behind him flying much slower. He quickly bolts away from her.

She wonders how he has the energy to fly like that when she begins losing altitude the moment she leaves the room. She has less control over her descent than she should.

It causes too much pain behind her eyes to maintain flight so she glides, using minimal yoki knowing this will mean that she has to walk the rest of the way to his barrier and that might take days. The wind whips at her skin as she falls back first, cradling her son against her breast.

She hits the tree branches first, then a rock, slicing her head open and then she flops onto a pile of leaves next to a river, breathing deeply. She holds Tsukimaru's leg to keep him from toddling off, but inevitably as she feels exhaustion taking her, the hold loosens and her body begins to flame in fever.

Her eyes flutter as the skies cover in dark grey clouds. Cold rain droplets fall onto her eyes, making her blink. She soaked from head to toe in a summer rain, but the world is still blurry. She feels tiny hands pressing on her stomach, her breasts, trying to pull the front of her kimono down. "Tsuki," she says, parched and thirsty.

Natsuki tries to force herself upright, but her arms feel like jelly and her back hurts from the fall. Instead she removes the herbs that Sesshomaru gave her, chewing them raw and then opens the water bottle to fill with the rain. She opens her mouth, letting it drip down her throat, swallowing through the rough blisters that coat her flesh. It aches, her whole body aches.

As the morning or night wears on, Tsukimaru becomes more hysterical, trying to wake Natsuki up. He paws at her front, tugs on her clothes, but lacks the strength to reveal the breast he wants to suckle.

Her heart aches at his high pitched cries, at how hungry she knows her son is. She feels it too, but her body is still battling the pain from the fall. She wonders if he will come back…if Sesshomaru would return for her, to care for her the way he would if she were Rin. The thought creates a bitter taste on the tip of her tongue, until pain flashes through her head. Fangs dip into the already bleeding gash and she bats at the offending, hysterical that has bitten her. "Tsuki!" She finally forces herself up.

His cries have reached a new level of hysteria. "Oh no." Natsuki picks him up. The baby's face is covered in blood. She holds him under the rain, wiping it off his cheek and finds a cut. In her haze, she scratched his face. "I'm a terrible mother," she mutters under her breath as she washes the wound and holds him against her face. As she does, their blood mingles.

"Natsuki?"

She jumps at the sound of the voice behind her. It's too wet for her to smell the intruder but the voice she knows. "I thought you were going ahead?"

"You sent for me," Sesshomaru says quietly, coming forward, kneeling in front of her. "You can't linger. The monks still search the forest for our kind. It's not safe." He touches her face, ripping off a piece of his green haori and begins cleaning it. He removes the bandages from her wrap and ties them around her face and then around Tsukimaru's. "It's only a matter of time. Children bear it easier."

Natsuki shakes her head, shocked at his admission and terrified that Tsukimaru will join them in sickness. "No, I won't let him get sick," she argues, hugging her baby close to her chest as if it would protect him.

"You need rest and food. When was the last time you ate?"

"Weeks." She rubs her head feeling her vision fade again. "Sesshomaru?" she questions him and then the world turns black again as her body slumps against another, warm and comforted.

**Rin-past**

Sato found her in the dining room, mourning his brother. The first thing Rin did was force him to strip his shoes off and touch his forehead and then tremble and begin crying anew because he was also sick. He had not progressed as quickly as Hisato had, but Rin felt the fear all the same.

Overnight a messenger was sent that Akari was ill and later Hineko also began to feel unwell. She knew it was only a matter of time before it spread to their children, and even her own. He told her though, they would get sick but they would survive and for the millionth time before this began, she questioned her lover from the future. _What were you thinking? You could have told me._

Sato proceeded to tell Rin about Rieko, a little girl with black braids, in her thirties. Hisato spent seventy five years refusing to return the bond Gobodo-sama create with him. Strangely enough, the elder demoness had known since Hisato was born that he was meant for her, which influenced her choices regarding the rare twins. They were always protected, housed in her wing. Their parents were given favor and it wasn't until they left the castle after two and a half centuries that she became agitated.

Gobodo-sama allowed Hisato one hundred and fifty years of exploration before she came down from her thrown in the sky to claim him and be claimed in return. To her chagrin, although she bound Hisato to her, he refused, always feeling inferior and unworthy of their connection.

When he finally did return the bond, it wasn't without consequences. Sato told Rin that the urge during the first pairing to create a child is near uncontrollable. Hisato was seduced by its power and the pleasurable release it gave him, sending Gobodo-sama into an instant heat. Their child was born four months later. "Imagine Gobodo-sama writhing in pain in bed. She was furious with him for making her experience a human labor. She said his yoki did nothing to relieve the pain she was in. It was like putting a salve on a stab wound. But she loved him, perhaps more than the lovers of her past."

The little girl was the apple of her eye, but Gobodo-sama feared both Touma and Sesshomaru. At the time, the two were cut from the same cloth, ruthless, heartless. So Rieko was hidden. The child knew who her mother and father were but was instructed to tell no one and she never did. But those in the castle only knew that she was an orphan of parents that were killed for the little human blood she had.

As Sesshomaru changed, Gobodo-sama considered telling him of Rieko, but still she feared him, his wrath and jealousy.

Sato knew about Rieko because his brother had shared the news with him and introduced him to the little girl. "I was meant to care for her should anything happen to my brother or his lover. I never believed anything but age would fell Gobodo-sama."

"She's really gone?" Rin asks Sato as they sit over a cup of tea.

Once she knew he was sick, she proceeded to ply him with all the herbs needed and created the clay mixture to treat the sores. "You are going to get everyone here sick."

"I've been cautious."

"You've been arrogant and proud." She kneels in front of him, rubbing his legs down with the clay, creating a light paste along his calves. "Does Kagome-sama know?"

"Yes," he says and she can hear the pain in his voice. "You know it's possible to feel affection without the need to bond?"

"Is that what your relationship is now?" Rin laughs, knowing that the two have been finding sensual comfort in each other's arms for years now.

"Friends that care for each other's needs."

She slaps his ankle. "Gobodo-sama, Sato?"

"She's gone or she will be soon. I'm sorry Rin-sama. I know you were close." His eyes began to redden, but not from yoki or a transformation but from tears.

"I'm s…so…sorry," Rin starts crying again. "I loved him too. The child?"

"I don't know."

"Hisato said Gobodo-sama would have sent her away. Where?"

"Somewhere she would be safe from all of this. Safe from illness."

"The underworld…" Rin covers her mouth.

"No not there…I've heard a rumor of an entrance to the space in between the living and dead. The graveyard for youkai. The guardians will bow to the owner of Tenseiga or the one who wears the Meido stone."

"Inu no Taisho?" Rin covers her mouth shocked. "She would have sent the girl there? How will she survive?"

"Rieko can survive on her own. Hisato made sure she could and if she is anywhere, it's there."

"We have to find her."

"For her to become sick and die?" Sato refuses, shaking his head. "No. If they sent her away, it was before she would become ill. You cannot bring her here, not until this ends. If it will ever end."

Rin holds his hand, wondering if she will bid Sato farewell too. "It will end." _Why couldn't you just tell me?_

"I hope you are right," Sato says as she puts his shoes back on.

"Now I need to find shochi. Did you tell Katsumoto?"

"Not yet," Rin's lips shivers. "I can barely talk without sobbing."

"I will tell him." Sato stands and the leans over and kisses Rin's forehead. "He was very fond of you…as am I. I have no child I left behind but if I do not survive, make sure the Miko finds happiness again."

"I will," she covers her eyes. _Sato do you survive?_

Rin slaps her face to try to get control of her emotions again, when she sees Harutoga peering around the corner of the dining room. "Don't come in here," she tells her son. "Go get me a bucket of water and a bottle of shochi. He's not well."

"Okay." Harutoga turns away and returns after a few minutes with some clean towels, the shochi and a bucket. Rin sets to work cleaning the dining room, the chairs, the table and scrubbing the floor until her muscles hurt. She cleans herself off and strips her clothes off. "Go get Yuki and a clean kimono for me."

"Yes Ka-san," Harutoga says obediently and returns with his sister, brother and Shiori.

"Yuki, come in here and get rid of these clothes and the rags and the bucket." Rin takes the plain forest green kimono from her son and begins to put it on.

Her daughter enters and blasts the clothing and bucket with her poison until they are gone completely.

"Chichiue is coming," Taiyomaru says distantly with his head cocked to the side. "He's bringing Natsuki. Natsuki is sick."

"What?" Nearly chokes as she finishes tying her obi.

"Well," Taiyomaru closes his eyes, focusing. "Um…he's worried about her and she's sick. She sent for him because she fell and hurt her head."

"I do not understand you Taiyomaru." She takes her children by the hand. "Shiori-chan, how are you?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

"I can feel Chichiue's bond to her…well when he's near enough anyway. But he's worried that you are going to be upset with him," Taiyomaru says, trying to keep up.

"You four stay here. Which side of the barrier?"

"Lake side, where everyone is sick. Can Tsuki come and stay with us?" Taiyomaru asks hopefully.

"He needs his mother," Rin reminds her son gently.

"Great, now you're going to separate again," Yuki snarls out.

"No," Rin says firmly. "Where would we go?" _And who else would keep her alive but him?_

Rin trots out of the house and down the long field that leads to the village. For a moment she runs as quickly as she can, until her lungs begin to burn but slows when she gets to the sterilization huts. She changes into the garb, meant to be worn while tending the sick and focuses on finding her lover. It's not hard. So many years together and she would pick his yoki out of a swarm of demons anywhere. There are few in the village whose strength rise to his.

She finds him entering the far end of the barrier just as she comes, cradling Natsuki like a child in his arms. His eyes are cold and distant. She can almost feel the fury and the words floating off him. _Just say something…_She runs up to him and asks, "What happened?"

"She is ill. Help me find somewhere for her." He grits his teeth, adjusting his grip on Natsuki.

Rin's stomach clenches. "Okay," she says softly. They find a hut that is newly built on the far end of the lake. Sesshomaru carries the demoness in, and it's only then that Rin sees the bundle in his mokomoko. "Is your son okay?" _Tsukimaru survives and so does Natsuki. I know they do, but how?_

"She is ill…he is not. Her fever has broken for now." He gingerly sets Natsuki down on the tabi mats. "Have a futon brought for her." He strokes Natsuki's face and then removes his son. Tsukimaru struggles in his father's grasp and then toddles around their ankles. Rin focuses on their son. His hair has grown in long white ringlets around his face and curls in the back. He walks around the hut on unsteady feet as if he owns it and then back to his father hugging Sesshomaru's back. He starts whining for his father to hold him, "Chichi!"

_I should have known how much they missed each other. _"It's been years hasn't it? He's so much bigger." A cloud of emotions wash through Rin, jealously, fear, anger and sorrow. Natsuki looks like a sick child.

Sesshomaru exhales, "speak Rin."

"I don't like this." She bites down on her bottom lip. "With her this close—"

"I will sustain her life." He raises Natsuki's hand to his chest. "This is not from the disease. She is malnourished and dehydrated. The castle was a graveyard. Mother—"

"I'm sorry," Rin whispers, approaching behind him and combing her fingers through his hair.

"I cannot be caught between the two of you right now," his voice grows cold and chills her more than the winter air. "I will not be made to feel guilty for what is natural."

"That's not fair," Rin tries to argue but her heart isn't in it. What is she supposed to ask him? The mother of his other son is sick, the child could become ill.

"If you can't stand what you see, then leave," he says cruelly.

"Sesshomaru?" Rin's heart cracks at the tone of his voice.

"I can't do this," he mutters under his breath.

Rin kneels down trying to hug him, only to be thrown off and land on the ground. "Sesshomaru?"

"No," he says firmly. "She needs food and water. I can't…don't ask me to find someone else." His eyes are lined with grief. Even she sees the sparkle of unshed tears.

Rin lifts herself off the ground, rubbing her chest where his arm impacted against her sternum. "Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? You're worried about her, you're tired."

"I sleep here tonight."

"Sesshomaru?"

"Get out."

"Okay," she mutters leaving the hut and sliding down the wall outside trying to not feel like he has just cut her so deeply. _He's worried about Tsukimaru and Natsuki. _There are days the coldness she sees creeping into his heart scares her. She sees him turning into who he was before she met him, the cold-hearted killer she had heard of. His eyes are dark. He rarely smiles now.

It makes her wonder how he can go from this to someone who heals humans and demons in the future, which makes her wonder if knowing that now will change who he becomes. She rubs her eyes as her mind drifts in circles. Does knowing who he is to become now mean she has the power to change it…or is it meant to happen regardless of what occurs between them? She settles on doing her best to ensure that he is happy, that he survives the disease mentally and physically and so she gets up and goes to the large vats of sterilized water they have stored and ladles some into a bottle.

Next, she visits the cook to get a bone broth, then returns to the hut. She knocks on the door. "What?" Sesshomaru growls out.

Rin enters and sets the bowl of bone broth and the water next to his feet. "Here."

He nods still cradling Natsuki.

"You're worried about her and Tsukimaru…can he survive without her milk? Should I take him back home?"

"He is too young," Sesshomaru wipes his face. "He must remain with her. There are no inu-youkai wet-nurses for him here. Thank you," he strokes Natsuki's brow and lifts her up, bringing water to her lips. "Wake up."

"How bad is it?" Rin asks. Natsuki's lips are cracked. Her skin is paler than it should be. Her hair is tangled and her body is covered in a bleeding rash.

"Rin," he warns her in a low tone.

"I'm trying to be supportive," she folds her arms and raises an eyebrow. "Let me care for her."

"No," Sesshomaru says firmly. "You must both live. She needs my strength right now, my comfort. I cannot choose between the two of you, not now."

Rin nods, her heart heavy, feeling exhausted. "I need you too," she says by the door, trying not to cry. Her heart aches for Hisato.

"She needs me more," Sesshomaru says tenderly with eyes on Natsuki. He begins tending to his other lover, the one he had promised did not interfere again and Rin wonders why he would lie in the future, what was he protecting her from?

**Please review! Well...this is a...um mess...and goodness how does pushing Rin away help? And how is he supposed to balance the two of them?**

**Next Up-Harutoga Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Nina-Present**

**If I remember at this point I finally consolidated the whole past and present so it was one chunk and then the other. HEHEHE**

**Itzatakahashi: **I read your pm and sent you the response :)

**Kimmigirl9: **I did not cry while editing it. But I sobbed while writing it. I think I imagined what it would be like if I died and was saying goodbye to my kids. And of course it made me sob.

**Smmahamzing:** I know! Natsuki is a fun character to write because she's such an anti-hero. Half the time you hate her and the other half you want to keep her. You are right, he needs to let Rin in but I think it hurts too much and he doesn't know how.

**Mechine:** Didn't do Natsuki. Did not have sex with her. He did show affection because she's sick and been in the sky with a bunch of dead bodies.

**New Reader:** Gobodo-sama is dead :(...It was so sad writing that. Poor Sesshomaru losing his mother now. I think this chapter answered where Rieko is now. HAHA and I think this also answered the rest of your questions. No subterfuge this time but his guilt for doing what he is is making him push Rin away.

**Vilbern:** YOU GET IT! Yes...Natsuki had to turn to Sesshomaru and Rin has to choose between fighting it and making it worse or making it work. There's no one else for her to turn to. I love Sesshomaru's stoic-ness. He is hard to peg, but in order to write him in love, many people write him OOC. I will check out your fanfic. I'm reading through some others so it might take me a bit still. I'll get there though. I love that you get it. This story isn't just about Rin and Sesshomaru being in love, it's about so much more than that.

**Guest#1 and Reaper 007: **I think you two need to learn to think more critically, because obviously anyone who thinks A. That taking a second wife which was so common back then deserves genocide and B that Sesshomaru shouldn't have any obligation to his second wife during a genocide/pandemic, probably lacks critical thinking skills.

**Jenny Crum:** Thank you! I love the angst and pain. When I was writing this I used the future chapters to lighten the load because the past was just sooo dark.

**Harukasempai14:** You know there could be not blame, but more like discomfort and yet to process his emotions. The rest of your review honestly, it kind of lacks critical thinking. Most normal kids don't want their father to die because he's been forced to make choices they don't agree with. And not being able to be monogamous during a plague with a 100% mortality rate also doesn't deserve death, especially if it's the only way to keep them and your other child alive. Neither does spiriting away the child who has the soul of your father's lover. In fact Natsuki hasn't really done anything wrong in this story either, so she also does not deserve death. So really, you're just kinda wishing death on people for nothing.


	70. Harutoga-Present ISesshomaruPresent XII

**Hello! LOL one reviewer said you're loading like lightning! Well it helps that this story is finished and I am just uploading. I've also been trying to load the next chapter before I get too many reviews. **

**I remember this one chapter on Instinct I think got 18 or something like that and it took me hours to respond to all of them. In my dreams will FFN create a system like AO3 where you can reply directly to both guest and member reviews.**

**I'm currently uploading this while listening to the dulcet sounds of Baby Einstein next to me...I'll just leave it at that :)**

**And just going to say it. You guys missed an easter egg in that Natsuki chapter LOL...the question has always been, why isn't she as sick as Sess in the future. The answer is in that chapter :). **

**Recap: Yuki and Mayumi are trapped in the supply closet at the hospital. Which is on fire because they experimented with a pipe bomb and dokkasu. Probably not a good idea.**

**Harutoga-Present**

He hears the conversation from behind the closed door and curses himself for not being the one to go before. Yuki exhausts herself night and day maintaining Katusmoto's health. It was only a matter of time before it took a toll on her. Harutoga's dressed more modern than he would have been in the past, wearing faded jeans and a maroon button down shirt. He leaves the office abruptly and runs into Taiyomaru. "It's Yuki."

Taiyomaru nods and together they flee down the streets, leaping from rooftop to rooftop and alleyway to alleyway. Taiyomaru is faster and it doesn't take long to find the hospital that is flanked with firetrucks and cordoned off with police cars. "Dammit," Harutoga curses under his breath as they watch from the roof of the building across the street. Flames lick the broken windows, blackening the side of the building. "I think they may have overdone it."

"You know Mayumi and her pipe bombs," Taiyomaru says with a chuckle. "Get on my back. I'll get us through one of the windows, then we split up."

"No they're in a supply closet on the oncology ward. I've been here before." Harutoga takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wraps it over his head, hiding his ears. "Ready?" He jumps on his brother's back.

Taiyomaru's eyes harden as he flies over the chaos below, through the window and lands, avoiding the burning tiles. He beats at the flames with his whip while his brother joins in. "This way," Taiyomaru leads them.

Harutoga's heart races. He can sense Yuki's yoki flaring and it's worse than it has been in the past. The hallways are blackened with flames and the heat of the fire. Behind that the smell of one of pipe bombs that Mayumi made. They keep their mouths covered as they make it through the smoke and flames, following the beacon of flaring yoki. Two more hallways down and he knows he's on the right track when he sees a female Inu-yokai with long silver hair and hands misting green cutting into a door that looks like it's been seared shut. "Harutoga!" Taka calls him. "Help me. It's Yuki."

Behind her Izayoi stands with a rag over her mouth and runs in as soon as the door is removed, bringing out Mayumi, who's face is ashen and covered in soot. Taka hauls Yuki out, nearly stunning Taiyomaru into silence as she nods her head down a hall that looks like it's engulfed in flames. "This way, more fire, means more oxygen," Taka yells over her shoulder, carrying her older sister. "I'll go through first with Izayoi. Taiyomaru can you take the other two?"

They nod, because now is not the time to remind her that she is the youngest and should be following them, not the other way around. But then he sees that she is dressed in a pair of tight skinny jeans and a white halter top, without a bra and he smirks knowing that his father would kill her if he saw her dressed like this. She disappears into the flames licking at the walls like hungry tongues and Taiyomaru hauls Mayumi over his shoulder, while wrapping an arm around Harutoga's waist.

They land blocks away on the cement. Yuki still tremors like a jackhammer. "You idiots forgot the medicine!" Taka fumes at them disappearing and they both know exactly where she is going.

"If there is any left by the time she gets there." Harutoga leans down holding Yuki's head. "Can you help her?"

Taiyomaru slits his wrist, bleeding ruby jewels into Yuki's mouth and then massages her neck to get it down. Palms press against her back and the rise of yoki fills the streets as Taiyomaru takes control of her yoki, manipulating it until the tremors die down and her eyes finally close and she ceases frothing at the mouth.

Taka returns with a black bag full of the chemotherapy medicine and throws it at Harutoga. "Take care of Chichiue," she says and the dilation of her eyes nearly breaks Harutoga's heart. "You're going back to her?"

"I said I would care for her for as long as possible," Taka says with a tight grin.

Taiyomaru bursts out laughing as he lets go of Yuki and moves to Mayumi. "She has smoke inhalation. Taka, dogs only live for twelve to fifteen years. You've been with her for ten. How long until it becomes obvious that you aren't are a regular dog?"

"Well maybe I'll have puppies then and impersonate myself." She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's not going to work," Harutoga says kneeling with Mayumi. "I'll take her back to Chichiue, he can treat this."

"No take her to the skies," Izayoi interjects. "Taka can you treat her?"

"Nina needs me," Taka says frowning. "I shouldn't have left her but I was worried about Yuki. Taiyomaru take Mayumi to the skies and put her on oxygen. She'll be fine soon."

"When did you start telling everyone else what to do?" Yuki groans from the cement.

"Yuki!" Taka flings herself on her sister. "You're okay."

"Get off me!" Yuki shoves her by the face, making Harutoga roll his eyes.

"We agreed when we said we would help Nina to stop fighting," Harutoga helps move Taka off of Yuki. "No more…it's enough."

"Lucy!" a voice calls from several blocks away. "Lucy!"

"That's Hannah, I have to go!" Taka changes into a white dog again and runs away, leaving the rest behind.

Harutoga bends down and picks up Mayumi, while Taiyomaru helps to carry Yuki, shouldering most of her weight while she limps to keep up with them. "I thought she said take her to the castle?"

"I can't fly, and Chichiue might need Taiyomaru's blood. We'll take her back to the office so he doesn't get worried. There's oxygen there," Harutoga says with a smile. "This is just like the Feudal Era."

"Remember…that…time…" Yuki pants as she trudges along, "that we took down six monks? And that other time we had to save Ka-san and Chichiue when they hated each other?"

"That was hilarious," Taiyomaru laughs. "How long did she hate him for?"

"A decade," Yuki says as they make it through the streets via the alleyways.

"It was longer," Taiyomaru reminds them. "There was the five years before that too."

"What?" Izayoi balks, chasing after them. "What did I miss by being over here?"

The lingering question hits Harutoga in the stomach like an anvil. More than once he wondered if it was better for Izayoi and Mayumi to not see what happened over there. The lives lost, the orphans left behind, how his mother was bereft of her closest friends and confidants and then what happened after. "Nothing that isn't better left in the past," Harutoga replies.

Yuki grunts trying to keep up. "Did we get the medicine? I shouldn't have come. Katsumoto needs me."

"We got it," Izayoi reassures her.

"Do we talk about it?" Harutoga asks, "about Ka-san being back?"

"She isn't Ka-san," Taiyomaru says disquieted. "She has her memories, but she isn't the one that gave birth to us, that nursed us, that held us through the darkness."

"You think we should avoid her?" Harutoga says.

"I…think," Yuki stumbles while she speaks, "that we let her have a life. Imagine the burden of knowing you have the soul of the mother of three adults and generations of grandchildren." She coughs and then pauses to catch her breath. "Chichiue is right, she's a child with Ka-san's soul…until she's older and can understand what that means, she should get to have a life."

Taiyomaru only shakes his head as they finally make it into the office. Harutoga hurries ahead, bringing her into the treatment room. It's already crowded with two beds filled, but now they are in need of two more. As soon as he enters his heart drops. Yamamoto-sama stands over his father pumping his chest to keep is heart beating. "Get the defibrillator!" he yells at the nurses as a flatline rings in the hanyou's ears. _No….Chichiue._

**Sesshomaru-present**

The world is white and empty yet he feels like every nerve on his body is on fire. _Is this what death feels like? _His lids are heavy as if someone has tied weights to them, keeping them closed. His chest flames with pain and pressure. Rhythmic pressure that he feels slushing blood into his heart. He swallows, feeling like someone has scraped his throat until it's bleeding. Then he hears singing, the most beautiful voice he knows so well. She never sang when they were first together. That changed when they traveled to China. She took care of an old woman who sheltered orphaned demons and would sing to them at night.

Their children became attached to the song and so she sang it to.

_The moon is bright, the wind is quiet._

_The leaves hang over the window._

_My baby, fall asleep quickly._

_Sleep, dreaming sweet dreams._

_The moon is bright, the wind is calm,_

_Gently moving cradle,_

_Mother's baby, close your eyes,_

_Yeah sleep, sleep, dreaming sweet dreams._

Fire rips through his veins as he forces himself upright to find the source of the lark like voice. He manages to get on his feet and limps, painfully and latently until he finds her sitting by a hot springs, brushing her hair. A red kimono with sakura flowers is loosely hanging from her shoulders, as she washes her hair in the springs. White slowly changes to color, and their home is erected behind them, the stone edifice that housed them for a century and a half, the field of daisies that led to their village and the hot springs where they spent their most intimate moments, where their children were conceived and born.

"Sesshomaru!" she turns running to him, but as her arms reach for is trunk they go through him as if she isn't there at all.

"Rin," he falls to his knees, unable to hold her ghostlike body. "Another dream."

"No dream my love," she whispers, her fingers mingling with his. "Your halfway here."

"And your mostly gone." He hangs his head. "You didn't wait for me."

"You turned me away."

"I had to. She is a child. She does not deserve this, this life with one who is bound to another." His eyes water against his will. "Dammit…why couldn't you wait?" He gasps in pain, feeling an inferno flash from his chest into the rest of his body. It's like his heart is exploding and his jaw tenses making speaking impossible.

"It's not your time yet my love." He hears her voice trailing into the distance, her body becomes more wisps than a corporeal form.

_My heart._

"Go back Sesshomaru…" He feels a gust of wind blow against his hair and warmth against his mouth as if they are sharing their last kiss.

"I'm waiting for you."

Electricity flashes through him again. He feels the heat of Natsuki's yoki drawing him away from the illusion of his home, away from death, from the underworld and back into the world. "Come back to me," Natsuki cries next to him, holding his hand, even though he is being shocked.

"400, again," he hears Yamamato's voice and the blazing pain comes back. He gasps for air, yet it won't come on its own. It's provided for him and he feels the scratchiness of a tube down his throat and the rhythmic whooshing of the ventilator.

The room is filled with beeping and his eyes finally open blinking.

"We have a beat. At least one of his hearts is beating again," Yoshi says relieved.

He tries to speak but chokes on the plastic tube down his throat. He reaches for it, trying to pull it out. "You stop that," Natsuki grabs his hand and forces it down. "We almost lost you. You can't go yet."

He nods, weakly, smelling smoke and soot covering Mayumi's scent. His eyes bolt open remembering she had been in danger before. He tries to sit up again, only for Tsukimaru to push him back down by the shoulders. Natsuki to holds his wrists down. "Chichiue, she's fine," Tsukimaru tells him. "She and Yuki are okay."

"She's on oxygen. Her lungs were damaged but she will heal," Yoshi begins then adds. "She's actually healing faster than a normal human. The youkai blood I presume."

The whir of the ventillator pumps air into his chest in time with the exhale he imagines heaving_. I shouldn't have sent her._ He holds his chest looking at the charged flesh and tries not to laugh, wondering how high they had to set the defibrillator to get him back. He's rewired several himself in the castle in the sky. Once he had to take it to 600 to bring Katumoto back from death's door.

He closes his eyes and cups Natsuki's face, massaging her chin. _How close was it?_

"Very close dear one," Natsuki catches his hand and kisses his knuckles. "We sent for Rieko. Sato is coming instead."

Yamamato slides a swivel chair next to Sesshomaru and asks, "What do we do? Can we do it? How much chemo medicine?"

Sesshomaru's lids close and open so slowly and weakly as his chest is given life by the ventilator. _I don't know. Natsuki be my voice? _

She nods her head, stroking his sweat soaked bangs from his eyes. Her lips open against his crescent moon and he allows her scent to wash over him, to comfort him. She smells of the ocean and sand that's been baked by the sun. "Tell me?"

"You can speak to him?" Yoshi's eyes bulge in shock.

"Shut up," Natsuki's breath ghosts over Sesshomaru's eyes. "Tell me. How do we save you?"

Izayoi leaves Mayumi's bed, telling her that she needs to help Ojisama and approaches his bed. She lifts his other hand and kisses his knuckles with tears in her eyes. "It's not going to help anything if you make everyone mad Natsuki. They share a spiritual bond." She palms his chest, just over his heart. "It's made from his yoki to her soul and her yoki to his soul. They feel what the other feels. They can heal each other, influence each other's emotions. He knows when she is hurt and they share each other's pain." A tear slips down her cheek. "Among families, it's common for them to speak to each other's minds. Natsuki will be his voice."

He releases his hand from Izayoi and slowly combs her silver hair in his palm. There may be no spiritual connection between he and his nieces but this one, this sweet brave girl, he can feel her pain acutely. She has lost her father and mother in the last six months, and now she faces losing her uncle and his heart breaks for the child. He swallows, feeling the slick roughness of the tube and looks at Natsuki.

"You'll have to test to make sure his immune-system is subdued by the chemo-medicine. After that, I will monitor his yoki. The demonic cells will try to protect the immune-system which is why you have to give him to start twice as much as you would a human. When both are subdued you should be able to begin the transplant. He says that it should be done as it was in years past, by drilling holes into his tailbone to circumvent his blood rejecting it. If you can't do it with your equipment after his body has been weakened, then use his blade. Bakusaiga can break through his skin," Natsuki finishes and then her eyes bloom with tears.

He wipes them, yearning to comfort her, but is too weak to do more. His body aches and if it weren't for modern medicine he would be dead already.

"Ironic," Natsuki kisses his lips. "I'll maintain his life for now. He says begin now."

"He's so weak," Yamamoto argues. "Will he even survive?"

"He'll die if you do nothing," Izayoi stares at them, a fury building in her eyes. "You have to save him. Please?"

_Please, _Sesshomaru wonders how many times he heard that word and struck down an enemy anyway, when it was clear they would not survive. He ended life after life and now his is in the balance.

**Please review! That was close, we almost lost him. **

**Coming next:**

**Izayoi-present (I wanted both inugirls to get POVs...but it just occurred to me I'm neglecting the boys.)**

**Nina-Present**

**Taiyomaru-Past**

**Rin-Past**

**I haven't been reading much fanfiction lately. I have so many stories in my to-read list but I have been working like crazy on Fire and Ice and looking into job options. As soon as I read more I will get back to you all.**

**Vilbern: **I know. She definitely needs to calm down a bit and hopefully be less insecure but her rival is now in their village at least she isn't in their home. So that past and present aren't exactly in sync right now. The well doesn't open until the cure is found in the past. It's one of the reasons Sesshomaru doesn't believe in changing the past. If the well shut them off and the demons could have escaped the illness they would have. You missed an easter egg in that last Natsuki chapter with why she wasn't as sick.

**Mechinex2:** Okay yes I do criticize authors who make sess abusive and Rin the ever submissive. I would posit though, this case is different. It's the middle of a pandemic with a 100% mortality rate for the ones infected. Also Natsuki isn't forcing her way into their home. She's sick and scared and has no one. Sesshomaru's home is the safest place for her and it would take a very cruel person to turn her away. So in this case, I would say it's not the same. Sess is also cruel in those stories without reason. In this story in the last five years or so he's lost his brother, his nephew, his mother and is watching his race die and now he fears for his children, himself. Trust me this isn't pretty. That takes a toll on a person and Rin's feelings aren't the only one's who matter. Glad to know I'm keeping you on your toes :).

**Guest#1:** You know this story isn't just about Rin right? I'm still shocked every time people care for only her emotions and forget that Sesshomaru is going through hell too. He's just not expressing it well.

**Guest#2:** You shall see what happens with Nina. I actually loved writing that arc for Rin in Instinct. I know many women who have miscarried and when it's traumatic it takes time to heal. Her time away from him actually brought out her strength, even if it cut his heart out.

**Smmahamazing:** OMG that was the first in a few months I had to double check how to spell your username! Yes I agree too. It's like let her in, let her in, stop shutting her out! You aren't helping anything! UGH he's sooo stubborn. (Writes this like I have no responsibility over how this youkai behaves.)

**Luin-Fanel:** You are so right. He's under so much stress and so much pressure and enduring so much pain and it's literally shaking everything he is. You know it's funny about being mean to the characters because when I was first on this site back in the early 2000's people weren't sold on everything must be rosy all the time. People were able to write amazing stories because the community supported them and angst and conflict move stories. The first stories I read when I came back last year were the ones that had finished in my absence and they are still among my faves. Somewhere in the 10-15 years, fluff has become the norm and in the sessrin community, you risk being flamed into silence for writing anything but fluff. Which btw cracks me up. Because these same people shouldn't want Rin to be the twins mom then if no one is allowed to suffer. Whoever the mom is, is either dead or trapped somewhere, separated from Sesshomaru and her children and probably in so much emotional pain. My kids are starting school next week. The oldest 2 next week and one of the youngest last week. Their school is face to face. I am so looking forward to it. I'll have more time to write!

**New Readerx2:** Oh there's many emotions there. Anger, rage and they aren't directed at Rin they are a result of exhaustion and being tired of being pulled in two different directions and experiencing so much pain. He's lost to date, his brother, his nephew, his mother, Natsuki is sick and now he must spend time fearing his children will become ill too. Honestly this story isn't all about Rin's emotions. She has feelings yes, but they aren't the only ones that matter. Rieko is stuck between the worlds and at the minute yes, Rin isn't going to tell him. He doesn't need anymore pain or fear.

**Gina:** He's in a dark place. And technically I'm not sure he's actually being abusive. I ran it by my husband and we agreed him shoving her off him was over the top and definitely not okay, but caring for the second wife and emotionally breaking don't qualify as abuse.

**Harukasempai14:** Sorry I'm just laughing because as I sat down to write this and I know we're going to have a heated discussion, one of my kids comes over and is mad at me for not letting him earn money in any other way than doing chores...my real life is reflecting my fanfiction life. Anyway, I get your anger with Natsuki but let's recap Instinct for a minute here. Yes she made a giant mistake. Yes she caused scars and irreplaceable damage but she also worked very hard to make up for it. She was never able to absolve herself of the sin she committed, but at the same time continuing to punish someone for centuries after they learned their lesson is not okay. It's not healthy for anyone involved and no one deserves constant blame for the past. It would be like Inuyasha never forgiving Sesshomaru for what he did.

Now let's recap this story...in this story she has done literally nothing wrong. She has not tried at all to weasel her way into his home. When they were together before it was because of her father. She kept her distance, Sesshomaru caved first. And in the end he only did it to save his family. Up to now in the past timeline she's kept her distance until she became ill and was in a graveyard and had no food, no water and no one to turnt to and yet she never sent for him to help her, until she fell and hurt herself. She has no one and like it or not her only family is Sesshomaru. Now if he were really being an ass he would have brought her into their home and told Rin to fuck off. Instead in very few, biting words he said he can't keep doing this now. He can't keep choosing between them when they both need him.

Tsukimaru if he were really an evil ass would have abandoned Nina in an alleyway somewhere or just killed her. Instead he made Taka take her away where their father wouldn't find her, which again is mean but it's not cold hearted, cruel or deserving of death. Death would be if he like killed her.

And yes Sesshomaru is morally grey because he was morally grey in the series. He was never a black and white being with a clear moral high ground. So I know that my writing triggers readers and I respect that but I also ask the sessrin shippers to look beyond only caring about Rin and her emotions. If you compare that with the reviews from the multishippers that read my stories, you'll see very clearly that this isn't black and white and it's not just about Rin. So when I say people need to work on critical thinking, it means they need to come away from only caring about Rin's emotions and try to understand the whole picture and how this situation is affecting everyone else. Sesshomaru is suffering badly.

**Guest#3:** Thank you! Yes I have been uploading quickly! The main reason is that this story is finished and I'm just uploading it as I can between my other obligations. Actually he didn't attack her, he just physically pushed her off him. Which I will agree was aggressive and mean. Well Nina and the Meido will have nothing to do with each other. Rin is trying to be supportive but perhaps not in the way that he needs the most. But she can't do that if he doesn't say what he needs.

**Jenny Crum:** I don't think pushing her away is helping him, but he feel so hopeless and helpless. He can't fight this enemy and so he's doing what he can while bearing a lot of emotional pain.


	71. Izayoi-Present INina-Present II

**Hello! I love you guys...really I do. This story has been so much fun and it's even more fun rereading it as I post and thinking about all the twists and turns it's taking. **

**We have another double portion. Really I want to just post one chapter, but I think we're going to focus on condensing. We're about halfway through my word doc...so here we go!**

**Izayoi-present**

Izayoi helps the staff prepare her Uncle for the procedure. Sesshomaru's veins are so shot, they are forced to look everywhere for new ones. They need more than the porta Cath in his chest to deliver medicine and hydration.

When she and Mayumi first came to stay with him, he taught her how to give him the injections, to find the veins most likely to become plump. She uses heat to make one in his upper arm fat with blood. She slides the needle in and repeats the motion in the other bicep.

As the chemo-medicine is hung and attached to his central line, Izayoi wonders how long it's going to take before her uncle becomes violently ill. She's seen it before in patients who come for weekly treatment. They wretch uncontrollably, lose their hair and shake.

She finishes the last IV, leaving her sleeping uncle with the kiss on the brow to attend her sister.

Mayumi sleeps like an angel, covered in black suit. She breathes with the oxygen mask covering her face, restoring her lungs to health.

The clinic has been closed for days now and if it wasn't for her answering the phone, she's sure someone would have called the police by now. Natsuki has all but held the human staff hostage with the threat of killing them if they don't help cure Sesshomaru.

She retrieves a basin from under one of the nearing cabinets and fills it with water, wiping her sister down and blows out a fog of air, a rapid exhale to relieve the tension she feels. Behind her she can hear the whirring of the machine that is breathing for her Uncle, and the mechanical rise and fall of his chest. Natsuki hasn't left his side and from the latent rumble of yoki bubbling behind her, Izayoi knows that the demoness is struggling to keep him alive.

Izayoi finishes, cleaning Mayumi's face, each stroke like the brush of a painter. She takes out a stethoscope and listens to her lungs. They wheeze slightly, but they're clean enough now that she can remove the mask from her sister's mouth and replace it with a nasal canula.

"Since when did you learn that?" Yuki asks of her medical skills. She had long since abandoned the bed they had tried to put her in. Yuki threatened to gas the nurses with her poison and curled against Katsumoto's side. They're like two halves of the same whole, yin and yang, so different, but it's as if their bodies were meant to be one.

Izayoi giggles and says over her shoulder, "Ojisama. He's been teaching me."

"At least he has a new student," Yuki says, but then it's obvious that regret enters her voice.

"Shut up Yuki," Natsuki gripes over her shoulder and wipes a tear from her eyes, covering her mouth. It's an unspoken rule not to mention the daughter that is missing.

"Hag!" Yuki shoots back.

"I'll have your head!" Natsuki howls, only for Sesshomaru to lift a hand and restrain her. Golden eyes plead with his lover to calm down. Even Izayoi can feel the words radiating between them.

"You miss her don't you?" Izayoi tries to calm the tension between them. "Taka?" She doesn't really need to ask, it's obvious in how distraught Natsuki becomes as she buries her face into Sesshomaru's stomach and he winces from the pain. "She'll come back," Izayoi promises, knowing exactly where this missing daughter is. Sudden confusion hits her, why is her Uncle hiding her from her mother?

Natsuki refuses to believe it. Sesshomaru's arm keeps her down. "I'm sorry," Izayoi says melancholy. She slides onto the other side of the bed winking at her Uncle with a frown. It doesn't seem right to make Natsuki suffer so.

Izayoi touches his shoulder, "Do you think you'll have the same side effects from the chemo?"

His eyes roll around in his head. His skin ripples with a fresh sheen of sweat.

"You know it's possible."

He shrugs.

"If there is one thing that has not changed in the last five hundred years, it's that you are stubborn."

He tickles her chin with his index finger and then his eyes close again. "Do you need anything? Should I get Taiyomaru to take over?"

Natsuki shakes her head vehemently. "Three and a half centuries. He's mine. I'll keep him alive."

"Even I can tell you're getting tired Natsuki," Izayoi tells her. "Let me get Taiyomaru."

"No," she says, pursing her lips. "He sustained me when I was sick, I will do the same for him."

Izayoi nods and leaves the room. She goes into the break room and starts digging through the fridge looking for something to eat, anything to lighten the mood that she is in. She chuckles, picking up a dark container she knows belongs to her Uncle. It's filled with something that is soupy with blood and chunks of sika meat. She rolls her eyes, putting it away, just as the door opens. "You guys are idiots. How could you not know what he was, Yoshi?"

There's stammering behind her and then he says, "How did you know it was me?"

"You smell like spice and after shave." She reaches into the back of the fridge and pulls out a melon with a smile. It has her name written in marker on it and she knows she wasn't the one that brought it here. "Ojisama," she whispers smelling the sweet rind. She starts cutting it with her claws, wondering how many more melons he will bring for her. He grows them in the garden in the sky with the remaining fox demons germinating them to grow faster. He knows they're her favorite and without fail, there's always one in the fridge waiting for her.

Yoshi's mouth drops open. "So those are claws?"

"Yep." She hacks the melon into pieces and then washes her hands from the juices and sticky residue. She plates the melon and sits down. "His are sharper."

"Is that it, the claws?" Yoshi sits down with Izayoi.

"No." She lifts a wrist into the air and lets her whip circle around them and slap lightly into his cheek.

"Ow," he rubs his cheek with a laugh.

"His is stronger," Izayoi exhales sadly and starts eating the melon. "All the signs were here, raw meat in the fridge, the long nails, his hair. His ears fell out so many times."

"We just thought they were cosmetic." Yoshi bites into the melon, juice falls down his chin. "I'm exhausted."

"Will this work?"

"It's the only option," Yoshi answers her. "If what we're reading is correct, based off of his tests and Katsumoto's blood results, everything is degraded. His organs are failing because his blood was changed on a cellular level. It's essentially cannibalizing him. You know the one thing I don't understand about you and your sister? One of his kids said that you are technically older."

"I was born before three years Yuki."

"How is that possible?" He looks speechless and Izayoi can't blame him. She was born first but only one of them has had a chance to age five hundred years.

"Would you believe a magic well? It's why we're with him and not our parents. My brothers and my mother, my father is dead."

"I'm sorry," he covers her hands with his. "He was the one that died to the disease?"

"The first one. But we were born then, in Sengoku."

"I would say you are lying, but then look at what we're seeing now. Real youkai."

"Dai-youkai. They're in human form. Youkai were normally in animal form."

"You saw them? Demons of legend?" He's lit with excitement and it's almost magnetic. What he has believed are myths, Izayoi has seen with her own eyes. The first time she was forced to kill was when she was twelve years old and Mayumi had wondered off. Their father was off exterminating some boar demon that had gone mad from hate. She and her brothers were left behind. Red-snake like demons came flocking around them. By then Sota and Taisho were with Ojisama and it was her turn to show her true colors and strength. She hacked them to pieces, severed their heads and then bundled Mayumi, kicking and screaming back to their home and through the well so she couldn't wander again.

"Many," and she begins telling him of her life on the other side, the simple hut she lived in with her parents and how her uncle lived in what is now Osaka. Lovers Park is really his ancestral home where he loved a human, the mother of his hanyou children. Yoshi has more questions about her life, her brothers and how long they lived. She talks until she can't anymore, until words fail and a lump is left in her throat. "He was so different then. Harsh, cold, calculating. But he loved her more than he did himself."

A sudden flush crosses Yoshi's cheeks. "Did he make love to her in a room with security cameras?"

"Oh kami-sama," Izayoi facepalms. "He would do that. You have no idea…at least it's not Rin and at least it isn't who he was five hundred years ago."

"So you would be happy to know we deleted the video."

"Security camera porn," she starts laughing. "Katsumoto once told me that he was guarding the back entrance at the same time my Uncle was if you get my drift. He had no compunctions back then in taking Rin when he wanted her and she always wanted him. She said that inu-youkai have large sexual appetites and for him it was all about dominance, passion and love."

Yoshi joins her in the laughter. "Well it's not exactly what we expected but he flatlined right after…Yamamoto-sama told him no more sex."

"He's going to hate that." Izayoi pushes the food around on her plate.

"So who is this donor?"

"Rieko," Izayoi says softly. "His sister."

"How did she escape the disease?"

"That's another story. I hope she'll come."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"You don't know who he was five hundred years ago. He was ruthless, bone chillingly cold and from what I can gather, during the disease, he was forced to make some very challenging decisions. They broke him and who you see now is the result of those choices. I don't know. Rieko hasn't answered our calls. I hope she comes."

**Nina-Present**

The dream wasn't as pleasant last night. In fact, the last few nights, it's like something has changed and they've become darker. I wake up in the middle of the night after we found Lucy barking like crazy by a hospital fire and start rubbing my temples. She jumps on the bed next to me. I try to make sense of the images that are surfing through my mind. They're jumbled and seem so out of order. One minute I was twelve and he left and didn't come back like he promised. I waited on top of a grass covered hill as the wind blew past me. Despite the fact that it was Spring, I felt so cold and dead inside.

Then the dream changed and I was with a boy that wasn't my mythical being. We were walking through the forest. He was teaching me how to fight. It's the first time I've seen this boy. He has long, dark brown hair, big brown eyes and the most adorable freckles over his cheeks and nose.

A giant, I'm not even sure what came tumbling out of the forest, crashing down the leaves and branches. It was blue with a loincloth and three yellow eyes. We fought it together but it was obvious that the boy that was with me had more experience than I did. His sickle was gigantic. I ended up hacking it down by the neck and when it fell, he was so proud of me. I felt it in my bones. Our lips met and it was so different than my mythical being. His lips were softer, and the kiss was more tentative, yet the boy's hands were more so much coarser compared to my silver haired lover. I'm so confused.

It was almost as if the kiss was a sigh of relief, of something that we let go but then we talked. I don't often remember the conversations but this time I did.

_"__What was that?"_

_ "__You were too beautiful not to."_

_ "__If he sees you doing that, he's going to kill you."_

_ "__He won't see. I'll be gone when he comes."_

_ "__So then what was that?"_

_ "__I like you. I really care about you. I have for a while now."_

_ "__You mean ever since Satsu was killed?"_

His face falls and it's like sorrow envelopes both of us and then I saw it. The scenery shifted again and then I saw it, all of it. I had a best friend. We grew up together. She wore her hair like Pumpkin did in Memoirs of a Geisha and I gave her all my old kimonos because my mythic lover always gave me new ones. I felt bad my friend wore rags.

We were walking to a lake to bathe and then men dressed in really bad Samurai costumes attacked us and they…that's when I woke up. I reach out for Lucy's paw because who else is going to believe that I've been having these dreams for as long as I can remember.

As a child they were comforting. I could imagine myself wrapped in the big fluffy thing on his shoulder at night or that I slept in his arms or sometimes at night touch myself and imagine it was him, but this? When did this happen? And did I love someone else? If I did, does that mean he did? But then I didn't feel the same fire with the boy as I did with whoever he was.

And we have children together, at least two that I know of, but I can't remember the birth of the first. Only that she was born in the winter, by the first snow and she had the most adorable pointed ears and that the second was born at the end of the summer and we were happier when the second was born than the first. Then it suddenly hits me, that if this story is real, there are pieces missing, many pieces and for the first time I really start writing.

_Lucy, do you think they are more than just dreams? Memories of a past life? Why are they more vivid here? Is it possible to have more than one person you love? There was a human boy, but why would I stop loving the silver haired one and settle for that one? What the hell is he anyway?_

But then the rest of the dream surfaces and despite the fact that it's three in the morning I start writing out the conversation. We were talking about the girl that had died, my best friend and the one that he had liked. They were going to get married, or at least that is what he said, but a part of his heart died that day, when she was raped and murdered.

Can you really just settle? That night, after he kissed her, they sat down and talked about it and she, I mean I said that I would be with him, because there was no other. He knew it wasn't true but they both knew from travelling with him as children that he detested humans. Why can't I remember what he is? I know he's not human.

I throw myself backwards on the bed, nearly head butting Lucy in the process and throw a pillow over my face. I want to scream but it won't help. I'll feel my voice vibrating in my throat but honestly, I'm so confused. For the briefest moment, while Dr. Rinata slept I thought he was the one I had dreamed of, but he isn't. He didn't have the markings, or the big white fluff, just the long silver hair.

After a while, I start to feel tired again, so I go to sleep and wake up close to the time that Izayoi is supposed to come. She looks like she hasn't slept, and whatever made her leave the room so quickly yesterday is still weighing heavily on her. I ask her how her Uncle is, or really Hannah is my voice because I can't really communicate with her and she replies lowly, with her eyes downcast and then she starts crying and says that she isn't really sure. My heart breaks.

Sometimes while I was ill we would go to events with other kids who had leukemia but most of us were afraid of making friends, because what happens when they die? What happens if you die and you have to make others sad? What happens when you are deaf and blind and can't communicate? Then your circle of friends gets even smaller.

Izayoi wipes her eyes and then washes them in the sink. I'm still fascinated by everything I can see. Water ripples over her palms and soap bubbles. Soap bubbles are amazing. They are soft and wet and while I've always known their texture, I've never seen white froth before and before I know it, I'm lost watching her hands become clean.

She sits down with a stack of papers and hands half of them to Hannah. They start talking. I can't follow the conversation at all. But then Lucy jumps in my lap and snuggles against my stomach and the butterflies I was starting to feel dissipate.

Hannah starts slowly signing to me, instead of relying on hand-signing, she's been using full ASL so that I can learn to communicate like this. _The test results all came back negative. Your blood counts are normal, as if the Leukemia never happened._

_What about my eyes?_

_She says that she's not sure. They don't usually have these kinds of results from treatment, but it's something to be grateful for. We can go home._

Somehow it seems like those words make Lucy sad and I have to blink to see that it looks like her eyes are watering and she isn't her happy self. Maybe she needs a doctor. I try to check her eyes, but they are red and Hannah said they have always been red. Izayoi asks if she can pet the dog. This time I let her, because Lucy seems so sad.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Hannah answers it and I swear I almost fall off the couch. The most beautiful black haired man comes in. Suddenly both Izayoi and Lucy are off the couch. He stares at Lucy. It's almost like they are speaking, almost like I can hear the words bouncing off them. His ears are oddly tucked into the sides of his black hair. He has the same claw tipped hands as Dr. Rinata. He speaks very firmly to Izayoi. Lucy almost seems to bow and backs away from him. Now I'm left wondering who the hell this person is? He makes my skin seem like it's alive and I want to shrink in his presence. It's not until I close my eyes that I notice his body has red and white surrounding him, just like Dr. Rinata.

**Please review! Well who is that that just came through the door?**

**Story rec of the day. The Painted Veil, by Vilbern. I think I said that last chapter, I finished it today and so rarely does anyone really grab me these days. This story is a phenomenal AU based off the book/movie of the same name. So definitely give it a read. It's a sesskag, but if you are like me and value great writing no matter the pairing, it's definitely worth reading. Not to mention we all know I love supporting my fellow authors.**

**Coming next:**

**Taiyomaru-past**

**Rin-past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Responses:**

**Kimmigirl9: **Yes...hang on Sesshomaru! I also think I teared up writing that last part. But the worst cries are yet to come!

**Mechine:** Honestly it takes a lot to get under my skin. But I will be honest and say I've received a few DM's from people upset with people screaming genocide over one person's actions. In this day and with current world events...probably not a good idea to wish death on people.

**Jenny Crum:** Oh yes, so much angst and they were so in love. So very much in love.

**New Reader:** LOL yep...now he is under Doctor's orders, no more sex.

**Guest:** Probably more like 20-30...I'm actually not sure. Because I never numbered them while I wrote this and even if I did, the combinations have changed the number.

**Luin-Fanel:** The easter egg was Natsuki cutting Tsukimaru's cheek and then holding him against her cheek, hence why she isn't as sick as everyone else. She got half the cure early. So westerns depend. I really like John Wayne films LOL...and I do like Toy Story? My kids are going back to school tomorrow, so I am extremely excited about that :).

**Harukasempai:** Girl I could ask if you are okay? After you and the other guest reviewer were screaming about people needing to die, a few people PM'd me and said you guys were making them uncomfortable. As to me and my husband, yes we are fine. My husband is a teddy bear. One of those soft squishy ones that would rather catch a spider and set it free than harm it. He cries throwing out glue traps with mice on them LOL. I use him as my second set of eyes, because counter to me, he is not much of an angst lover and his opinions tend to balance me out. So I think at this point, you are jumping the gun. Sesshomaru has not slept with Natsuki since he was forced to back in the beginning of the story. As for the comfort, he asked her to comfort him not because he needed it bu he suddenly noticed the connection between use of his yoki and progression of the illness. Don't worry you will find out what happened in China...in time.

**Lilo18:** Hello! I hope I can look forward to more reviews from you :). Writing Hisato's death just about killed me. Someone told me it's my story I don't have to but I'm like this is a genocide...barely anyone survives...must kill my favorite OC. I agree with Sato and Kagome. They needed release and comfort and got it. I have considered writing Yuki and Katsumoto's love story but at the minute, I'm trying to finish Fire and Ice and want to write originals. And also if I love Itzatakahashi and esso1979 I need to finish the book of Kagome too.

**Cashe17:** Nina is so much fun to write. I'm glad she won you over. I'm trying to dance this line of her being "Rin" but also being herself. If my husband weren't behind me going well if she has her memories they would have a connection so...I would be lost.


	72. Taiyomaru-past I

**And we're back. I think I can commit now to posting on Tue/Thurs for this story. Maybe more, most likely more, because I'm still juggling a bit at home.**

**It's been so quiet this week. So very quiet and I love it. School started for my kids, which means freedom for me!**

**Recap: Sesshomaru in the past just discovered that the disease is attached to their yoki and any time they use it, it progresses the disease. Natsuki was brought back with him because everyone in the castle in the sky is dead and there is nowhere else for her to be. **

**Taiyomaru-past**

There is so much about his world that has changed. Only years before he was a happy child who ran through the fields of his home, chasing his brother and sister. Yuki was always one step ahead of him and Harutoga always held his hand so he could keep up. They laughed in the fields, trailed by their friends and sung the village songs until their voices went raw and then this happened.

Everyone is sick and he is too young at first to understand what is happening. But one night he sneaks from his bed after Yuki and Harutoga have fallen asleep.

He slips out the window to avoid Katsumoto in the halls and starts loping towards the village. It's a place of sickness now. He is not allowed to enter but he doesn't care. He's ten and so different than his brother and sister. They can't fly, or make the blades Ojisan did or feel the light inside other people. He can touch their souls and heal them, give them strength and love and the only other one he knows can do the same is Tsukimaru.

His half-brother's scent is on the wind. _Tsuki? _He runs faster for the village, dashing in between huts and pyres to avoid being seen. If Chichiue catches him here after he was warned not to, he'll get a beating. It's life and death and Chichiue is taking no chances.

He leaps over the last hut and lands outside what used to be the old Healer's hut. He heard stories about that healer. He was an evil youkai who coveted Ka-san and tried to steal her and the reason his baby sister is buried under the camelia flowers.

No one talks about her, but he's heard his mother cry for Sakura, the child that they lost. He can feel her grief when summer comes each year. Sometimes it's so strong, he forgets if he is feeling it or if it is his mother's.

Chichiue goes to the red flowers at night. Days before the new moon when he thinks no one is watching. His palms press into the earth and tears stream down his face. It hurts when it's Chichiue. It makes Taiyomaru's chest ache and his hands shake. Chichiue says he failed her, that he should have been there, that one day they'll meet again.

It feels the same way now. Chichiue aches from head to toe. But what hurts in his body, feels ten times worse in his soul.

Taiyomaru masks his scent, a trick Yuki taught him and sneaks closer to the hut finding more than just his father inside.

Somehow Koga has dragged himself out of his hut and sits in a circle with Sato, Katsumoto, Nobuatsu, Taisho and Sota. Taiyomaru kicks himself for assuming Katsumoto was watching their door. At the head of the circle is his father.

He gets nervous someone will see him, so he jumps lithely onto the roof and leans his ear against the thatch work, listening to the conversation inside. He can feel Natsuki from here. She's tired and sick and then his eyes widen. Chichiue is also ill. He focuses on sensing Tsukimaru, smiling from ear to ear because his little brother is not sick.

He pulls apart some of the thatching so he can see below and hear what they say.

"It attacks our yoki," Chichiue says. He sits cross-legged with Natsuki on his lap, stroking her hair and Tsukimaru asleep against his hip. It makes Taiyomaru smile, to see them together and he doesn't understand why. Yuki hates Natsuki and Harutoga wishes they had never met. He heard stories about that too, how they had devastated his family the year he was born, but that he doesn't remember.

Natsuki always brings him treats from the castle and salted meat. In the past Taiyomaru would take Tsukimaru and they would snuggle under a tree. When he woke up he'd find Natsuki passed out in one of the guest rooms, sleeping soundly.

Yuki says, Natsuki is the reason that Ka-san has the giant scar across her belly that Taiyomaru can't heal no matter how he tries. Chichiue says it's the mark of a warrior, something the little boy will never know. Hanyous don't get scars.

"How is this possible?" Koga chokes out, coughing and covering his mouth. "We don't get sick and yet we're dying. How did they do it?"

Chichiue shrugs and exhales. The little boy can hear his ribs creaking.

"Sorcery, the right herbs," Nobuatsu says with a tone that Taiyomaru isn't used to hearing from him. The horse-demon doesn't hate anyone but this disease is making all the adults behave strangely.

"Dammit," Sato mutters under his breath. "Then what do we do Sesshomaru-sama? The moment they find this barrier we are all dead. There are not enough of us well enough to fight."

Chichiue nods, closing and opening his eyes so slowly it makes Taiyomaru nervous that he is going to fall over from exhaustion. "We fight. We will not be put down like animals. If the monks come here, to this place, my home, we fight."

Taiyomaru smiles at his father's bravery. He knows his father is powerful but behind the confidence a fear lingers. He tries to keep the tendrils of yoki seeking out his father's to himself or he'll be caught. Comforting others has become second nature to him.

"How do we survive to fight?" Katsumoto, the youngest amongst them asks. "How do we live past this?"

Nobuatsu raises a finger to silence the hut. "We know cold, cleanliness and liquids are extending our lives. We continue this and keep our search for a cure. A disease cannot be made that cannot be cured."

Chichiue feels nervous and scared as he looks around the hut. It makes Taiyomaru's nose wrinkle up and he doesn't understand why until his father speaks, "I can no longer maintain the winter. The disease attacks our yoki. When the halberd is used, it spreads."

"You'll die faster!" Taisho bursts out. Taiyomaru covers his mouth, eyes wide with fear.

"I called this meeting to ask for help. We will share the burden of chilling the village. It's cooled in the morning, the evening and the middle of the night. We will split it between the five of us and any other that has the strength to wield the halberd," Chichiue's voice is colder than the snow that coats the ground outside. He isn't asking, he's telling them.

"But each time you use it, the disease advances faster," Sota argues. "Ojisama, you can't do this."

"There's no choice, Sota," Chichiue answers. "Life is all that matters."

Koga nods weakly, followed by the rest.

"My family will not know of my illness," Chichiue's tone scares Taiyomaru and the admission that he's sick. "If there are more that can wield it, we will find them." There are no other sentinels. They were some of the first to die. Sato and Taisho are all that are left.

"But then you'll all die faster," Taisho argues and his cousin sounds terrified. "Ojisama this is madness."

"There are no other options. The cold slows the fever and the symptoms. The halberd was wielded by a Daiyoukai. There is no other way to extend our lives."

Taiyomaru puts his hand over his mouth, to stifle the gargled sounds coming out. Somehow, there has to be another way. Chichiue can't die and neither can Natsuki, because then who will take care of Tsuki?

The conversation is over and only Taisho remains to give a report about the barrier and how exhausted he is lifting it and lowering it daily. The droves are getting more infrequent. The boy hears something about how that must mean that those in the village are the only ones left. _What about everyone else?_

Taisho leaves and Chichiue is alone with Natsuki.

He's never understood why Natsuki makes everyone so angry.

He wants to comfort his father, but then Natsuki begins to stir. She sits up, taking Tsukimaru against her breast, letting the baby eat. She looks as exhausted as Chichiue.

For a time the two sit in silence until Chichiue starts nodding off but is caught by Natsuki. She grips his wrist, stopping him from falling over. Taiyomaru watches her face crease with concern. She touches his father's cheek and their moons kiss. Their lights both begin to shine, combining together. At first they both cry out in pain and slump. "That was too much." Natsuki holds her head.

"Try again," Sesshomaru urges her and their yoki rises again. Taiyomaru can see it. It stops right before it turns them both red with pain. They give each other strength and heal what they can, but like the halberd, it progresses their illness.

His heart skips a beat when Chichiue slumps against the hut. Natsuki catches him and helps him lay down and then he is asleep. Taiyomaru breathes a sigh of relief. He climbs off the roof, quietly and lands at the back where no one goes about to sneak home when he hears Natsuki singing:

_The sun follows the moon as he bids the day goodbye_

_For a moment when the sun is low on the horizon_

_The moon shares the sky and together they wizen_

_They speak of a day when the wind will grow wings_

_And bring to an end, the end of all things_

_Yokai and hanyou together will depart_

_Unless the wisdom of the sun and moon_

_Blend together to save us from our doom_

_Born from strife, their lights will glow_

_Bound forever in the journey below_

_For one brief moment their lights will combine_

_Together forever a radiance divine_

And for reasons he can't understand, the tune sounds familiar, like some hidden truth is buried within it, that he can't grasp and if he could, he could save everyone.

**Please review :) Maybe Taiyomaru will figure it out faster than anyone else, what the cure is. **

**Let's see what else have I read this week. Deja Dead, Kathy Reichs. I've been editing Warrior Princess for Spiritedranger. It's a Mulan style Sessrin. It's very good.**

**Coming Next:**

**Rin-Past **

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Responses:**

**Guest: **Okay...

**Mechine:** It all seems that Nina is going back to the lovely USA. Yes you will have to wait to find out who came and also all the questions. :) So glad you are enjoying this story.

**New Reader:** LOL yeah Sess, don't have sex LOL. Seriously gonna give yourself a heart attack having sex. That actually reminds me of this trope in TV where an old guy has sex and dies of a heart attack. I can think of a handful of TV shows and movies that happens in. You are going to find out.

**Harukasempai14:** I am so glad we DM'd and sorted stuff out. And thank you for understanding the current climate in America. Another black man was shot today and another city is rioting. It's so tense over here in the USA.

**Vilbern:** I shout out all stories I love. I really like helping other authors get some love. No sexy times with demonesses. I don't remember if you read Instinct, but it was revealed in there that he had gotten married and his wife died from illness. His whole arc as more of a back character in this series is that he was in love with Rin's best friend Satsu. Satsu was murdered in front of Rin (Faint Memory from 15) and after that he and Rin courted more out of settling than actual love. When Sess figured that out, night of the fullmoon (Sesshomaru's Heart) he may have lost it a bit and approached Rin and things to hot and heavy. After that Kohaku wedded, but never had children and a few years later his wife died. In Instinct he helps guard Rin after she leaves Sesshomaru and they talk of having a relationship but again, choose not to, because settling isn't right for either one.

**Jenny Crum:** I've got you hooooked!

**RYHT:** I started this way before Yashahime and it's funny because I had a few people tell me that the stories were very similar and asked if I was writing Yashahime. NO...I'm not. And whether or not they took from me? Who knows. LOL...actually I would be shocked if they did because most of the staff do not speak/read english well at all. We're doing just fine surviving the pandemic, if not a bit stressed. Hope you like the rest of the story.

**Luin-Fanel:** At the moment Rin has some control over the dreams, but that control may be fading. She wants to be with Sesshomaru again, but whether or not Sesshomaru survives will determine whether or not he chases after her. I will try to check out those two stories. I did write for Star Wars and Avatar. I wrote originals before, mostly fantasy but now I want to write originals. Fire and Ice is AU. You should read it. :) I think you'll like it.

**Itzatakashi:** You shall find out why those memories are surfacing. I think at this point Izayoi has nothing to hide. Like all hell broke loose, can't get much worse.


	73. Rin-Past XIV

**I was going to update on Thursday but then FFN was not posting reviews and I could either have posted and not responded to reviews or waited. So I kept waiting and then they showed up and I was just super busy, so I didn't get around to it last week.**

**So here we are now! Reviews are showing and I'll be able to respond to them. Hurray :)**

**I made a fun game on Fire and Ice and am challenging other authors to post and I'll post faster. So if you want me to read your story and I like it, we'll play a game. I'l update this story and you update mine.**

**Rin-past**

**Three years later**

**Year Eight of the Disease**

In the night, a cry of pain and whimpering wakes her. Rin bolts upright and runs into the children's room. Harutoga is on his side, violently vomiting. The red tinge of the mucous and the sweat dripping off his brow give away what it is. So many have died in the last three years. She knew it was only a matter of time before her own children became sick, no matter the precautions they took. The violent illness wakes all the children in the room, including Shiori who has become like their fourth child. They all move away from their vomiting brother, dodging the bile and blood.

Rin runs into the room. "Oh, Harutoga." She soothes his back, rubbing it in large circles.

"It hurts Ka-san!" he screams and then vomits again. He sobs like he is a tiny boy again not a seventeen year old trapped in the body of a seven year old.

"My sweet boy," Rin coos to calm him. Her gazes shifts back and forth between the other three children in the room. It's too late. They've been exposed and she wonders if they are already sick. Sesshomaru can smell it before it manifests but he has not been home in a week. The last week was spent with the ill and a part of Rin wonders at what point he too will succumb to this illness.

Rin runs into the hallway and flags Katsumoto. "Please, get Sesshomaru-sama. Harutoga is ill," the words come out choked. _I can do this. I know they don't die. _She swallows her fear and takes him into the washroom to bathe the filth from his body and inspect the spread of the virus.

Yuki and Shiori begin cleaning the mess with Taiyomaru, but not without gagging themselves. "Don't touch it!" Rin calls into the room.

"It doesn't matter now," she hears the family tenor of Sesshomaru's voice behind her. "They are all sick, except for Taiyomaru." He brings his youngest son under his wing and inhales deeply of the hair on his forehead. "You are not ill?"

"I feel fine Chichiue," Taiyomaru tells him.

Rin's heart clenches. In the last three years despite being around the illness, Tsukimaru had not become ill either. _Why them? Why aren't they getting sick?_

Sesshomaru enters the washroom with Harutoga, leaving on his layers, making Rin wonder why. In the past Sesshomaru would have stripped his clothes to sit in the bath with the children. Instead he takes a cloth and assists Rin in cleaning their son with darkened eyes. It's like the gold in them has diminished.

He's become more distant in the last three years, impossible to speak to. His anger rages. He barely sleeps and the only time he does is when she drags him into the hot springs and bathes his body. She knows he is carrying the weight of everyone around him, but there is an emptiness where he used to be, a warmth missing from their home. It doesn't matter that he never has to leave now, even if they are in the same place, it's like he is not there.

"How advanced is it?" Rin's voice breaks as they pull Harutoga out of the bath and Sesshomaru begins inspecting the child's body.

A rash runs the length of the soles of his feet and dapples his ankles. Sesshomaru touches the boy's forehead and shakes his head. "The beginning."

"We have time," Rin exhales relieved.

"Yuki, Shiori," he calls the other two children into the room and touches their brows, finding low fevers and that the soles of their feet are covered in the blister. "Treat them."

"Sesshomaru please!" Rin runs after him down the hall grabbing him the hand. "Please?"

"There are others to treat," he says blandly as if he is looking through her instead of at her. Her heart twists in pain as he lets her hand go and for a brief moment she feels like it's warmer than it should be, but is it? Is she imagining things?

Sesshomaru pauses without looking back as if his steps are weighted and Rin knows almost before he speaks. "Akari and Hineko will not last the night. If you are to bid them goodbye, you need to come now."

"Katsumoto?" She means to ask their guard to put them back to bed but it hits her so squarely that he has most likely been hiding his illness from her. "He's sick isn't he?"

Sesshomaru nods. "Now Rin."

She bites her lower lip, following behind him. There's something not right about his steps. They are heavy. She can hear his footfalls where in the past they would be quiet, so soft she wouldn't hear them.

So much has changed. Sesshomaru flies Rin to the village where the sick are being tended. She quickly changes into the red and gold house colors to treat the ill. Sesshomaru walks her as far as Hikari and Hineko's hut before he leaves to tend the ill.

Over her shoulder, Rin sees Natsuki following in his footsteps handing out water. Another conundrum. She came sick, dehydrated and starving, yet once she recovered, she runs a constant low fever, yet the rash has not spread beyond her ankles in the years since then. Her pale skin is almost translucent. Rin's only comfort is that Sesshomaru barely acknowledges Natsuki as he strides past her. It's as if neither one of them matter to him any longer.

Rin takes a deep breath, swallowing her angst, her pain knowing that Harutoga is sick and enters Akari's hut. The hanyou fire cat demoness is curled into her lovers arms. Rin kneels next to them and touches Hineko's shoulders. "Don't," Akari says weakly. "He left."

"I'm so sorry," Rin wipes her eyes, giving up on maintaining her composure. _Why didn't you tell me I would lose her too?_ Rin dips a cloth in a salve that's meant to reduce the pain of the sores and begins to slowly dab it onto Akari's body. "Remember all the nights we stayed awake talking. How Hineko found you and you hated each other?"

"I like your story better," Akari whispers as her teeth chatter. Her red eyes are already so distant and her fire colored hair so faded and lifeless. "A child, taming the great Sesshomaru-sama."

"Akari," Rin falls on her friend's shoulder sobbing. "Please?"

"It was good," Akari says, her breathing staggering. "It was good. You…gave us…so much happiness," the last word is spoken in a gasp of pain as blood trickles from the corner of her mouth.

"You will always be my friend," Rin whispers as she breathes her last breaths and once again, lets another friend go. She sobs against Akari's shoulders, shaking uncontrollably. There's no time linger, the hut will be washed and used for some other poor soul. Rin tears a black cloth and leaves it by the door as she exits, a sign that they have passed on. Others will come and burn the body, the hut and then build a new one for someone else. In the last three years the droves have slowed down. It's rare that new survivors find their way to their home. "Rin-sama?" Atsuko stops her.

The years have not been kind to her and Nobuatsu. They lost their children that lived with them and the ones that didn't haven't been heard from. She and Nobuatsu remained dedicated to healing the ones still here. "She's gone." Rin holds Atsuko. "I'm sorry."

"So am I," Atsuko whispers. "I hate this, all of it."

"I know," Rin stammers. "He'll find he cure. I'm sure of it, before it gets worse. It won't get worse. It can't."

Atsuko nods and slaps her cheeks clean of tears. "I have to keep going."

"We'll mourn later," Rin speaks before Atsuko can finish. "We have more to help."

She wipes her eyes searching for a familiar face, already knowing that finding her lover is pointless. Instead she finds her way into Sayako's hut. Ayame passed on the year before, yet Koga refuses to die. He holds on, with the constant mantra that he will not die to the same thing Inuyasha did. It's spread to his navel and he's often found heaving. He needs water and liquids frequently and it lifts her heart each time she enters the hut to find Koga alive.

Sayako is bedbound and in constant need of Sota's touch. Her eyes are crusted. Somehow she's survived with the blisters covering her face, her lips and her cheeks. She's a husk of what she once was and the longest lasting survivor.

As the night wears on, Rin passes by Natsuki's hut. The demoness rests against the wall, sleeping soundly while Sesshomaru sits near her. Rin doesn't often come to the village. Her place has been with the orphans and the sick children that are nearer to their home. Sesshomaru sings softly to his white haired son, lulling the baby to sleep, while surrounded with piles of his notes.

It takes Rin a while to realize that the words are medical terms, things he has learned from the books he has, statistics of deaths, timelines and first contact with the disease. He's so desperate to save them that he's turned the words into a lullaby. "Is this where you've been at night?" she asks as she enters the hut.

"Don't," he rebukes her before she's had a chance to speak.

Tsukimaru is thirteen, like Taiyomaru but unlike their son who can walk and talk, Tsukimaru is just a toddler. His legs are still wobbly. His words are garbled and often don't make sense. "Why won't you let me in?" The tears well up again, years of neglect come to the foreground. "I don't understand you. I know you love—"

He raises his hand, motioning for her to be quiet. "It isn't about you," Sesshomaru whispers tersely. "She has none to care for our son. She needs sleep to survive."

Rin moves closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, despite his cold demeaner. "Akari died. Hisato, Hineko…my love?" she calls to him, hugging his arm. "If…if you knew this was going to happen and you could stop it?"

"I would," he says firmly.

"Is it true? The rumors coming in from the outside? The monks and mikos did this? To end our kind?"

"Your kind?" Sesshomaru asks her and the words stab her. "You are human."

"And I have been your lover for twenty three years. Our children are sick because they are part yours. Don't separate yourself from me."

He becomes quiet, but returns the pressure against her shoulder. "Bring him back to our home," and then she bites the inside of her cheek. "Bring her too."

"Are you sure?" Sesshomaru asks her and she sees the shock clearly running across his face.

Rin's stomach clenches and tightens. "Your other children need you too. I need you. If it means you will come home, then bring her for now. Until you find the cure."

"What makes you so certain I will find it?"

"Because I believe in you," she kisses his shoulder. "Come home my love. You're exhausted. If I didn't know better I would think you are getting ill." Her mouth runs dry, her fingers start to tremble as she unexpectedly becomes aware of the heat radiating off his shoulder. She tugs his haori off, seeking his skin and swallows hard. She can't see the rash spreading above his hakama, but she knows he has it. "How long?"

"Only recently," he says and she's unsure whether or not to believe him. They haven't made love in a year. He's been too busy, too wrapped up in the ill.

"Show me the rash."

"Leave it," his voice harshens and she flinches at how it sends chills down her spine. "I will bring her tonight. Go home, the children need you."

"Please? Don't push me away."

"I can't do this Rin."

"Do what?"

But she can't get him to answer. He's already wrapping Tsukimaru in his mokomoko and lifting Natsuki off the ground. By the time they leave the room, she falls onto her knees in tears again. She needs to return to Harutoga, to her children but she can't move, so she cries.

"Hey," Kagome comes in quickly picking her up off the dirty floor and helps her to stand. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Rin sobs into her sister-in-law's chest. "It's like he isn't the same person, youkai anymore. He's so cold and I don't know what to do. How can he become the one I saw in the future if he is like this? What happens?"

"I don't know," Kagome speaks softly, trying to comfort her.

Rin's heart is in her throat and she can't speak. "He's changing and it's not for the better."

**Please review! Oh what's going to happen next. Now the children are sick. **

**So word on the street is that Spirited Soulmates by Fawn-eyed-girl is amazing. I think it's just on AO3 at the moment, but it's all the rage. :)**

**Coming Next: Sesshomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Nina-Present**

**Responses:**

**Guest#1: **Ahhh got it. LOL I did not get the joke at first. But now I understand. I have no idea how long this story is going to be.

**Kimmigirl9:** Me too. I hope he figures it out.

**Mechine:** Not yet...he doesn't sense it yet. But he also doesn't really understand who Sakura was then at least. Now yes. Hey in all fairness Sesshomaru is trying to save lives right now. To him that's more important than his health. And that alone is dignified. Yep, if Natsuki hadn't been his in the past, he wouldn't have survived.

**New Reader:** Natsuki is singing it to Tsukimaru. He sang it to all his children and worthy had nothing to do with whom he sang the song to. When they were born, he thought it was connected to them most likely and then let it go.

**Smmahamazing: **I love writing Sesshomaru as a dad. He loves all his children equally and this is so scary for a child.

**Itzatakahashi:** Thank you! That's high praise because this was such a high writing this.

**RYHT:** The brothers are definitely too hard on Taka. Taka's just a young one and the offspring of an unwanted pairing.

**Jenny Crum:** Thank you! I hope they find the cure too.

**Esther247:** You shall see what happens between Sesshomaru and Rin. Kohaku is around, not sure he's an option. Shoot now I can't remember where that one part I wrote was...I know earlier Rin discussed the hazards of Kohrin, because they were both settling.

**Harukasempai14:** I am so glad you were harping on the sex! You know why? There's a hole in the next chapter where whether or not he's been physical in the last 3 years with Natsuki should be addressed and I NEVER PUT IT IN THERE! So thank you, because now I can go back and work on it. He's definitely blaming Rin and suffering from well, the guilt of losing everything around him.


	74. Kagome-Past XSesshomaru-Past XIII

**It's come to my attention that if I keep posting at this rate...by the time I get it all up it's going to be passed October 3rd. That's just frustrating! LOL So I may need to start posting faster but even with the majority of kids in face to face school I have been intensely busy. At the moment my largest project has been getting the entire house clean...and it's been well busy...**

**Recap last chapter: Rin discovered Sesshomaru has been sick and their children fell ill. **

**Kagome-past**

She kneels over Sato's body, holding him on his side as he vomits again. It's not pretty but she has done this before. She wipes his mouth with a warmed rag and then goes on to clean his body, soaking it in cold water to lower the fever. When Sato became ill enough to take to his to bed, Kagome had him moved to her room where she tends him, keeping him hydrated and putting clay on his blisters.

She wipes up the vomit from the floor, then tosses the rags into the fire. It's all they can do now to sterilize and she knows it. The conveniences of the future don't exist. She gathers a fresh batch of cloth and finishes cleaning the once powerful youkai.

"Forgive me," his voice cracks as he speaks. "This is not what I expected."

"Quiet," Kagome say softly as she wipes his mouth. She dips the cloth in a white porcelain bowl and starts bathing his naked body to help cool the fever.

Until she hears Rin screaming at the top of her lungs. "I'll be back!" She runs from the room, but doesn't make it farther than the public dining hall, where children sleep in piles before a small light flashes in front of her and down the corridor to the private family area. She runs after the light that skids to a halt in front of a puking Sesshomaru.

Katsumoto and Rin force him to stay on his side while the blood flows like a river from his lips and nose. His lips are whiter than usual and covered with a crimson hue. The last convulsion sends the last smattering of blood from his lips and his eyes close. "Kami, Sesshomaru," Rin cries, moving his limp face and then Kagome and Rin see it.

Taiyomaru, the strange hanyou that looks nothing like a hanyou, holds his hands out over his father, radiating a power the child shouldn't have into Sesshomaru's body. As the light is absorbed the boy begins to tremble from exhaustion and sway. Kagome catches him by the shoulders before he hits the ground. "He stopped it," Kagome gasps in shock, holding a sleeping Taiyomaru.

"Thank you Taiyomaru," Rin says, relieved and sounding so desperate at the same time. "Kagome, help me get him in our room."

Kagome nods feeling her heart pinch, knowing that this is what started the tremors in the future. A profound darkness enters her heart, while she helps to lug Sesshomaru from under the arms into his room. They lay him down on the futon gently, all too aware of how painful the rash is. "How far has it spread?"

"I didn't know he was sick…I just…just now," Rin whimpers and wipes her eyes. "He wouldn't let me near him, let me hold him, anything, for years now. We haven't made love in a year. I know he's exhausted and he's been pushing himself to keep Natsuki alive. Baka," the younger woman whispers, combing his hair out of the way. "Let me care for him."

Kagome bows, and leaves the room. "I'll bring you water to clean him. It'll be okay Rin," she tries to reassure her. It's one thing to be told of an epidemic but another to be on this side of the well, unable to stop it and to see what is left of your family fall so ill.

She traces her steps back to the bath and dips the large bowl inside, then brings it out in the hallway. "Are you sick too?"

Katsumoto has a red sheen about his face that only blooms brighter when she asks. He shrugs his shoulders, an innocent admission. Kagome grits her teeth. No one understands the nature of illness in this time. It was only matter of time before it spread and even the mightiest among them would fall in its clutches. _But you survive._

"Is something wrong Kagome-sama?" Katsumoto asks with a gentleness in his voice that brings her out of staring at him like she is stupid.

"You survive."

"What?" he beckons her to explain her words.

"Kagome, do you have the water?" The voice from the room shakes her out of her thoughts.

"I have it. Katsumoto, can you go to my room and bring herbs for them? I'll have to go back to Miroku and Sango to get enough to care for you and the rest here," she speaks tepidly, like a small wave, wondering how it will reach into the ocean and change the current.

By the time she enters the room, Rin has Sesshomaru down to his fundoshi, revealing the glowing rash that wraps around his hips and stops just where his curls begin. Rin exhales so heavily Kagome can feel it in her own heart. "It's so advanced."

"Lying bastard," Rin mutters as she takes the bowl from Kagome. She sets it down, trying to wipe her nose and eyes of the tears and snot that have accumulated. "I knew he was going to get sick. He told me that much, but he looks so weak and frail. The lines of his muscles are gone, he's lost weight. I can see his ribs." Gnarled fingers flare out against roots and crevices counting the bones that form his chest cavity. "He's pushing me away. Did you think I would stop loving you if you died?"

Suddenly Kagome feels like a third wheel, standing in the room with the two lovers. Rin leans over Sesshomaru lovingly, kissing his crescent moon, with tears streaming down her face. She excuses herself without a word and slides down the wall of the corridor wanting to sob herself to sleep. Inuyasha knew that he would die. He agreed to it without telling her and here Sesshomaru sits sick.

Katsumoto returns shortly after, a sheen of sweat dripping down his forehead. She takes the bag of herbs from him, the bucket of clay. Taisho comes from behind with a kettle of steaming water and a tea cup. "Ojisama is sick?" the boy asks.

She motions him to sit with her and together they start making the paste for Sesshomaru's legs and the tea he needs to drink to bring the fever back down and restore his consciousness. "He's sick."

"I hate this," the boy answers, too shocked to say anything more. "Why can't we stop it? There has to be something to stop it. All diseases have cures—"

"Many cancers and leukemias don't, ebola—"

"Oka, please? I need hope right now, let me dream." Taisho rubs his face and neck, looking more exhausted than she has seen him in weeks.

"What's wrong?"

"No one has entered the barrier in six months." Creases fold over a face that is too young to bear such burden. "Do you think we are the only ones left? The ones here?"

Her heart clenches, because she knows after this, most of them are gone and it doesn't stop here, it spreads across all of Japan, into China and eventually the world. _He spends the rest of his life trying to save what is left of his kind. _A hand starts waving in front of her eyes, "Oka?" Taisho's voice spikes in concern. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Another lie to add to the books. She ruffles her son's hair and exhales sharply, hugging her ribs. "I think all this lifting is making me sore." A muscle in her thorax pulls tightly, making it difficult for her to breathe.

"Do you think we're all that's left?" he asks again and it nearly shatters her resolve.

"I don't know," she replies stiffly, not wanting to explore that possibility. She leaves the tea and paste for Rin to use on Sesshomaru.

Together they hobble on sore heels and tender backs through the throngs of sick children that now litter the public dining hall.

"We aren't the only ones left," a tiny voice says confidently from behind them. Taiyomaru has emerged from his room and has somehow started following them.

"How do you know?" Taisho bites back.

"He's just a child, calm down," Kagome rebukes him.

"I just know." He trots in front of them, down the hall to their rooms, where Natsuki has taken up residence.

The first night Kagome found him with Natsuki, her skin started crawling. There was something so wrong seeing Sesshomaru and Natsuki together, but then again she had seen them in the future too, only Natsuki didn't look so young or so thin. He sang to Natsuki quietly.

The tune bade her to listen more closely. He was singing the types of blood cells. Erythrocyte, leukocyte, T-cells and on, as if it was a child's poem. By the end, he collapsed on his side. She thought before from exhaustion, because of the swirling yoki between the two, but now she knows because he has been secretly ill.

"The moon and the sun are coming to save up," Taiyomaru says resolutely and then skips into the room with Natsuki.

From behind the door, Kagome can see the moon-white body, revealed from the shoulder down as she nurses baby Tsukimaru singing a song.

_The sun follows the moon as he bids the day goodbye_

_For a moment when the sun is low on the horizon_

_The moon shares the sky and together they wizen_

_They speak of a day when the wind will grow wings_

_And bring to an end, the end of all things_

_Yokai and hanyou together will depart_

_Unless the wisdom of the sun and moon_

_Blend together to save us from our doom_

_Born from strife, their lights will glow_

_Bound forever in the journey below_

_For one brief moment their lights will combine_

_Together forever a radiance divine_

Something in the words makes Kagome's skin crawl, crackle as if there is something she has forgotten, something she should know.

**Sesshomaru-past**

It starts low in his belly, bubbling like acid and then burns higher up in his throat until the bile starts spilling out faster than he has control over. Sesshomaru rolls on his side, but like magic, a bucket is put in front of his face for him to hurl into. He grips the jagged sides to ground himself while he loses control of his body again, something he is very unaccustomed to. The bile and _tea, _he wonders when that was given to him, are forced from his body at the same time he can feel liquid leaving his body below. "Dammit," he fumes, ready to impale himself with Bakusaiga for being less than what he is meant to.

"It's okay," he hears Rin from behind him. She's gathered his silver hair into a tail around his neck. "Do you want me to braid it?"

He nods, panting over the bucket, resting his forehead on his wrists. Her fingers wind deftly into his tresses, making him relax. They come back up after tying off the long end and start wiping down his skin with a cold cloth and that is when he notices the outside door was left open, no fire is lit and the room is chilled. Behind him, Rin's breath comes out in hot puffs as if she is breathing fire. "I know what you are doing," she tells him gently.

What's left of his muscles flinch as she wipes down his skin. It's like being wiped with snow. He doesn't answer. They have spent so little time together in the last years, he can't.

"You know it won't hurt less if I'm mad at you and you die," she says and he can't understand why she sounds so humorous.

He keeps his back to her, still breathing over the bucket. He sees a wooden water jug placed next to his elbow.

"You can't get rid of me." She picks the cloth up again and begins slushing it over his arms. "I won't let you die and even if you do, it won't hurt less. I love you, you know that."

He wants to yell at her to leave and let him be. She rests against him and it's then he feels that her body is boiling. He lifts his head off the bucket, turning to face her. Rin's cheeks are red, her eyes are puffy, she smells of human illness. "You're sick?"

"Stomach virus. I started throwing up a few hours ago. You slept most of the night until now. The sun is just rising."

"Harutoga?" His stomach tightens.

"He's okay. They're scared. They want to sleep in here with us. Oh my stomach." It gurgles, she whimpers running from the room.

He pushes himself off the floor, thinking of the first time she had thrown up when she was pregnant with Yuki and how it continued for most of the pregnancy. She even threw up on him once, down his arms and all over his chest.

He's filthy again, a common side effect of the disease and why it spreads so easily.

Rin returns, closing the door behind her and carrying a fresh bucket for him. She sets it down and takes the other one, then comes back.

He exhales in frustration.

"Stop it," she whispers, taking out another rag. She comes to him and starts cleaning the mess of his back and bottom. "Is it on the front?"

"I can clean myself," he says tersely.

"I don't care. Lay down. You need to drink and eat some broth before you try to get up again." She grabs his arm, tugging him back near the bed. She takes off the soiled sheets and throws them in their fire place. "I guess if everyone is sick now we don't have to worry about them getting soiled. Maybe I'll wash them in Shochi."

"It doesn't matter," he replies and sits back on the bed. He can't resist her, not when she looks like hell and is taking care of him anyway. "How sick are you?"

"Sick enough." She brings him clean clothing and helps him dress into black hakama. "Do you want the haori too?"

"Leave it." He stands up again and opens the door to the children's room. Yuki is asleep on one side, the boys in the middle and against Taiyomaru's back, Shiori is curled against them.

"It's like she's our now isn't it? Do you remember the first time I got sick after we bonded? I woke up and ran to the river but then it was coming out of both ends. You were so appalled by the smell, you were torn between helping me and not because of the smell. You tore my kimono so you had something to cover your nose."

"You made a mess," he smiles, remembering that moment. "You were so sick, you slept for two days."

"You were so scared because I got lethargic, you brought me into a village to see a healer."

"She smelled terrible."

"And after she gave me herbs to help you held me. We came back here so you could bathe me."

"I remember," he whispers half in awe. He was so afraid she would miscarry. He spent the nights with his ear against her belly, listening to Yuki's heartbeat, feeling her move.

"Is it worth letting the last twenty three years ago, my love? Just to stop my heart from aching? You only make it hurt more now."

He closes his eyes as a wave weakness hits him. Rin catches him around the chest just before he topples.

"You need to rest, now." She groans. Her skin feels like a furnace against his as she lugs him back to the bed, helping him laydown.

"Chichiue?" Yuki comes in rubbing her eyes. Her skin is spotted with signs of fever and she rubs her head.

"Yuki," he whispers, wishing he could get up and hold her.

"I don't feel good," she grumbles and then climbs into bed next to him. "Can I sleep here?"

Rin raises an eyebrow at him. In the past, he refused to let the children sleep in their room.

"Come Yuki," he mutters, wanting to sleep again.

"Yuki?" Harutoga walks into the room, smelling as terrible as Rin and cupping his stomach. "It hurts," he whispers.

"Lay down Harutoga," Sesshomaru lifts another section of the blanket for him.

"Chichiue?" Taiyomaru walks in next, holding Shiori's hand. The little girl smiles and then walks forward but stops at the threshold of their room.

"Come," Sesshomaru motions them forward. "Shiori come."

Rin walks around the bed, holding her stomach and looking very pale. Whatever isn't pale is red from the fever. "Rin lay down,"

She takes Shiori by the hand and leads her to the far end of their large futon to lay down, putting buckets in front of everyone before she starts groaning again and runs off. Sesshomaru exhales, staring at his bed that is now full of children. His own stomach aches and he can sense Natsuki stirring. He tries to get out of bed at the same time Rin comes back wiping her mouth and smelling worse than before. "No, you need to stay in bed."

"I'm fine," he lies overtly, but his body tells the truth in the form of thick bile and blood splattering on the ground.

Rin slides a bucket beneath his face again and then begins cleaning the mess on the ground. "You have to rest or you won't be any good for anyone my love."

He groans, trapped between the circular walls of the bucket he's puked into.

"Rest." She gives him more tea and water. A part of him is in conflict, he can't make her hate him and the harder he tries the more she loves him. _How will you live if I die?_

**Please review!****Okay I love that Shiori is now like their fourth child. It's cute :)**

**Book rec's...I suck because I've been writing more than reading but ahem ahem, we should all flood A Battle Yet Seen by Esther247 and tell her how much we want an update. :) HAHA**

**Harukasempai14: **You are right he didn't. No time in all that he is going through to do it. And yes he is blaming not Rin in particular but humans and maybe not able to separate the two. Everything is sooooo dark :)

**Jenny Crum:** I agree, pushing her away probably isn't the best idea. And yes sooo dark!

**Mechine:** You know where my inspiration came from? Remember that episode, I think it's True Heir where Sesshomaru asked Totosai what he was supposed to do with Tenseiga. Go around healing people? That's where him being a healer came from. This is not the five years yet...there's still more to come.

**New Reader:** Yes he never sang the song until the youngest two were born. It has nothing to do with hanyou vs Pure blood. It had to do with the way in which Tsuki and Taiyo were born. Nope...this is not rock bottom...it's coming...

**Kimmigirl9:** Me tooooo

**Luin-fanel:** How are you? I know, he's so desperate to save his kind and everything is sooo messed up.

**Itzatakashi:** I made myself cry sooo much writing this. It's like one big cry-a-thon, worse than Instinct. LOL

**Smmahamazing:** Yes...the Disease brought out his ability to heal and yearning to save others. So in essence it paved the path to who he became in the future.


	75. Nina-Present III

**AHHH I finished Fire and Ice! I'm so excited! That's two stories finished during quarantine. Now to just find the time to finish posting this beast!**

**Nina-Present**

_Satsu is dead…Satsu is dead. My best friend is dead._

_Hours after the battled ended, the boy and the other one with white hair and silver, fuzzy dog ears went to the forest and collected her body. I didn't leave the hut for days. Where was he? He didn't hear me screaming for him?_

_She was burned that night with the other victims. After that, there was a boy that was with me for a day but then he left._

_Somehow I managed to keep a patch of the samurais clothing because I was going to use my mythical being to hunt them down. He has a great sense of smell, kind of like a dog, but then he wouldn't let me and it hurt. He took me with him into the forest that night and let me sleep against his chest. It was the first time I felt our hearts beat as one, like a feedback loop, his pulse through mine. I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and when I woke the next morning, he was still there._

_His eyes met mine and you know those moments on TV where you are certain you are going to kiss? I licked my lips and I was sure he was going to warm my troubled soul with his lips but then he let me flop on the forest floor and told me we were going back to the village. We fought the entire way home. I gave him every possible reason why I wanted to be by his side. The robbers attacked me, I deserved a chance to get back at them. No._

_I hate being around humans, I don't understand them. No._

_I don't belong in this village, they aren't my family. Neither am I. No._

_Whatever you think I'm supposed to learn here, I'm not. No._

_Fine, I'll run away. But that didn't go well, because he reminded me that there was no where I could run that he would not find me and he would drag me back kicking and screaming._

_I threatened to follow a river and the next thing I knew, I was terrified. He warned me against leaving the village and that he expected me to be there the next full moon._

_The boy came back a week later to check on me and that is when we kissed for the first time. I felt my stomach jolt, it was warm, wet and sloppy. I guess neither of us had that much experience with it._

_It didn't stop with kisses though._

_One night a month later, we were making out by the lake after slaying an ogre. It was the first time I got to take one on my own. I took its head but not before it slapped me in the stomach with its claws, breaking my skin. He has beautiful chocolate brown eyes. It was the first time I took down my clothes in front of a boy. I was so nervous._

_I turned around to face him and the front of his pants were bulging. I covered my breasts with my wrists to stop him from seeing them. His breath caught while he was bandaging and more than once, I heard him suck in air, tightly as if he couldn't breathe. Once I was fixed up, his fingers lingered on my sides and I let my hands drop._

_His eyes dilated in what I think could only be passion and then our lips touched and he palmed my breast. It was awkward, like he was kneading dough with calloused, dry hands. I gasped next in pleasure, and felt myself heat below. I touched his bare chest, noting the notches, and the sun-dried color and then I slid my hand down the front of his pants. He branded my palm with his heat. I stroked him and pulled, he laid me down and kissed my neck and collarbone, covering my body with his and then just as my hand couldn't let his sex go, his found mine._

_But it wasn't like my mythical demon that made me wet with passion. It ached at first. His fingers slid inside and my stomach tightened. I spread for him, knowing we weren't supposed to be doing this, but there were a lot of things that girls my age weren't supposed to be doing. He pumped me over and over and it burned but I never felt the pulse that I had with my mythical demon. I humped his hand and he thrust into mine until we were both wet and laughing. I curled against his chest that night and slept until the sun rose. I had to wash in the lake to avoid the other one, that I think is related to my mythical creature smelling what we had done._

_There was no passion in our touch, just hormones and acceptance, but then I wonder, did I love someone else?_

_Nina, _Hanna waves my name sign in front of my face, making big arcs to get my attention. My head snaps up because I was so buried in my story I didn't even notice she had been trying to get my attention. Technically, that's what Lucy is for. But then I see that Lucy is staring intently at the door again. Her tail twitches nervously, she licks her lips and shifts her weight. My throat rumbles. I slam the computer shut and get up, taking her by the collar and motioning her to come back to me. It's not like she has to be glued to my side but part of her job is to keep me in the know. Just because I can see now doesn't mean I know what's going on. I can't even tell you what it's like to be handed objects I knew by touch before and not recognize them by sight.

She's guilt stricken. I can tell by the curve of her brows and how her red eyes dilate in shame. She puts her paw on my knee a gesture I've come to know is an apology, so I stroke her fur, but her face is transfixed on the closed door.

Just before a strange man with black hair, gold eyes and curious markings on his face came to the door. Initially he looked happy to see Izayoi but then he started rubbing his chest and his face fell. An obvious sign something was wrong. He grabbed her by the upper arm and dragged her out of the hotel room and the last time I peeked through the peephole, they were outside, arguing.

Lucy bolted for the door, trying to chase them. The door slammed against her nose. I spent a few minutes trying to get her to at least sit and wait instead of clawing the door open. Ever since we came here, something's been wrong with her.

_Nina! _This time the hand gets wiggled in front of my nose. I jolt out of my thoughts and look at Hanna. When I go home, I'll learn to read lips. No more being so lost in a conversation and in six months, as long as my blood counts return to normal I can finally get the cochlear implant. _Nina!_

_What?! _I hate when she does this, I'm trying to think. It's not like I can have conversations with other people.

I used to have to gauge mood by the air around me, or her fingers would feel less supple in my hand when she was angry with me. But this time I can see it in how her mouth purses into a firm line and her eyes widen and curve at the sides. Hanna isn't happy with me. _Your tests are normal. We can go home._

_Really? _I don't even know if I am ready to go home yet. I always knew I was Japanese, but I never expected to feel more at home here than where I was raised. There is something oddly familiar about this country that I can't shake. 

_Yes. The Leukemia is healed and your sight is too. They've given you a clean bill of health. It's time to start packing so we can go home._

That makes me smile, like really smile for the first time in a long time. I'm healed. I can go home. But then I think about Dr. Rinata and how sick he is and wonder if I'll ever be able to thank him. His website online has pictures of him with his patients that have graduated from high school, gotten married and lived longer lives than they ever thought possible. Even he is familiar.

_Mom, am I from Japan? _I make the computer talk for me. We called my school back home and they said it will take time for me to adjust to seeing signs rather than feeling them. Not to mention I don't feel like signing right now. There are days the sun is still too bright.

_We don't know. You were found with Lucy remember?_

_I remember, kind of. I just remember people finding me and nothing else. But why was the letter written in Japanese? _And why can't I shake this feeling that there was someone caring for me and has been for as long as I can remember?

_Your parents were probably Japanese immigrants. That's what the social worker always thought and that they couldn't afford treatment for you, so they left you in a safe place. What's wrong with Lucy?_

I nod and exhale and then get up but Lucy is back by the door again, fidgeting like crazy and barking.

Just as I am about to get her Izayoi opens the door and Lucy bolts again, knocking my legs out from underneath me. I land on my butt, wincing in pain, because it's not like I have much cushioning. Izayoi hauls me off the ground and then we both run out the door. The door to the stairs closes behind my white dog and I feel a thud and a rumble against the soles of my feet as if something just fell down. Izayoi's face contorts and it's almost cute, because it makes her face have more lines, her head fall sideways and for the first time I notice she has the same golden eyes as the man that was here before. I run after her and we find the man with black hair with a white haired girl on top of him, fisting the front of his shirt yelling something. She looks pissed. If I didn't know any better, I would say she is threatening him and they both look terrified that we've caught them.

**Please review!****Oh is Taka busted?...I wonder...and those memories...what's happening with the memories.**

**Story plug! Um...crap I haven't been reading much fanfic lately. Girl in the Mirror just got a new chapter. It's Fire Emblem, no idea what that is. But it's like reading a Robert Jordan fic. I'm in love with it. Written by Sarathechimera. **

**Coming next**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Harutoga-Present**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Responses:**

**Jenny Crum: **I can't wait for the cure either...like seriously. But it is cute how Shiori has become like one of their children.

**Kimmigirl9:** You and lemons LOL! :) We must wait and see...

**Luin-Fanel:** Yep, he's convinced he's going to die and he does love Rin, he just sucks at showing it. You know that's a good idea to only respond once a week, the only problem is that each chapter gets 7-12 reviews and they pile up very quickly. I have to think about it. Because Fire and Ice is now finished too...it's a lot of posting to do and I still am like 30 chapters behind on AO3.

**Vilbern: **It gets more angsty, just wait LOL. California seems very gloomy right now. I used to live in an area with forest fires but I can't believe what's happening there. Stay safe and sound.

**Guest#1:** Wouldn't that be nice? You'll see how they come across it. It took some creativity to figure out how I wanted them to stumble upon the cure.

**Harukamsempai14:** He can only help those in his family. He has to be related to them in order to manipulate their yoki, or in Natsuki's position, hold his father's bond. I give a bit of a voice later on to Tsukimaru, but they had very different childhoods and I think that affected them. You shall see what happens, I always love your theories :).

**Mechine:** Thank you! No he did not get sick on purpose. He wanted to save his kind despite the damage it would cause him. You shall find out all in the end. I want to post faster, but I'm not quite sure how. My life has been really busy...I finished Fire and Ice and now I have to post that and this story and I'm going to start working on an original and well...it's just nutty busy in my life.

**New Reader:** Oh thank you! Sess might be a bit to sick to think that philosophically about Rin when his illness could kill him and her's is just a stomach bug.

**Smmahamazing:** I know that dumb dumb...thinking if he makes her hate him she would. It makes no sense.

**Itzatakahashi:** He was afraid of changing things and you'll find out more about that later. I know, Rin loves him down to his depths and knows what he is doing.


	76. Izayoi-Present IISesshomaru PresentXIII

**Hello all my lovely readers! I'm so happy to present, another chapter of The Disease LOL...you know what's funny, when everyone said that they had no idea what was flying with that last chapter...guess what, neither did Nina...so either I did a good job or a really bad job writing that chapter LOL.**

**Answers are to come in this chapter though :). **

**Last time: A dark haired man came to visit Nina, Taka and Izayoi.**

**Izayoi-Present**

"Taka what the hell are you doing!" Izayoi screams down the stair shaft. She runs down the steps, nearly tripping on the slick corners. She glances behind her, knowing Nina is following, which means she can't take the steps in bounds. She can't use her whip to throw Taka off Sato. Not even when Taka gets a good punch in that makes Sato's jaw sound like a dumbbell just hit the floor.

"I heard everything you said, you self-righteous asshole!" Taka rolls, taking Sato with him and they start rolling across the cement flooring. "You're refusing to bring her just to spite, Chichiue!"

"Taka get off him!" Izayoi finally reaches the bottom step and jumps down the final three. She lands just next to them and grabs Taka kicking and screaming around the waist. "This isn't going to settle anything!"

"Neither is you trying to talk to this jerk!" Taka elbows Izayoi in the stomach, knocking the air out of her.

Izayoi crumples, coughing, holding her mid-section. "I'm going to kill you."

"You sound like Yuki," Taka snaps over her shoulder, hollering at the top of her lungs and lunging for Sato again. "Slimy bastard! Tell her to come!"

"STOP IT!" Izayoi yells, catching Taka by the ankles and making her fall.

"Is this supposed to make me yield?" Sato taunts Taka. He jumps onto her back, straddling her hips and pins her wrists behind her back. "You're still his weakest child."

"I am not!" Taka argues back, eyes turning red, but then she stops when Nina comes running and starts beating Sato's back with her fists, making a low, guttural noise with no discernable words or sounds.

"Get off me!" Taka yells.

"You are going to get us in trouble!" Sato reprimands Taka.

Nina starts tugging on Sato's upper arm, trying to pry him off of Taka.

Izayoi pulls Nina away. "It's okay," she says in English and then remembers that the girl can't understand her. She forcefully takes Nina's hands, pulling them up to her chin and says it again, "it's okay."

"If you are done Taka?" Sato hisses out, getting off the floor.

"Why won't you help him?" Taka breaks into tears, rubbing her eyes. She looks exhausted.

Izayoi notices Nina signing something and looking around. She pats her leg and makes a "loo" sound, calling for her dog.

Izayoi arches her eyebrows at Taka, who flushes in guilt.

Sato starts laughing a deep belly laugh that makes the hair on Izayoi's arms stand on end. "What are you laughing about?"

"Taka where's her dog?" he teases the girl.

"I hate you," Taka whines and then smiles guiltily at a very confused Nina. "She's asking if we saw a white dog, with red eyes."

"I'm looking at her," Sato tells Taka. "What are you doing with her any—" Sato stops and takes in the girl standing in front of him. Izayoi can see it, the slow recognition crossing his face. He spent twenty five years protecting Rin. "Morning dew? Is she?"

"Her reincarnation? Yes," Taka answers.

"Nina!" Hannah calls from the top of the stairs. "Nina!"

"_She down here_!" Izayoi yells back up the shaft. "_Still looking for Lucy_."

"Thank goodness." Hannah's footsteps echo down the stairs.

"Get out of here." Izayoi pushes them towards the door. "And you get back in dog form." She pushes Taka. Sato makes his escape. Taka leaves with him, slamming the door behind them and then the arguing resumes.

Izayoi shifts nervously, smiling at a very confused Nina. Hannah descends the last step and takes Nina's hand signing furiously.

Izayoi fake smiles.

Nina starts stomping her feet and signing back, as if she's having a tantrum. It reminds Izayoi of when Mayumi would fight with their parents. She liked to go into the forest alone, even if it wasn't safe. They always said the children had to go together or not at all but Mayumi would run off by herself.

Izayoi purses her lips, folding her bottom lip between her teeth. She is supposed to spend more time with Nina but time is becoming critical. Sato refuses to bring Rieko and according to what Yoshi and Haruto told her, the donor has to be someone related, that has never been sick so that their blood hasn't been degraded and the cells have transformed naturally. They must have human blood or they will erase the immune system that cured them from the disease and oddly, Taiyomaru's blood won't work, because Ojisama's blood even degraded is too strong.

"Um I need to go. I am sorry," Izayoi says, just as barking starts sounding next to the door.

"Lucy!" Hanna opens the door and the white dog comes running back out with her tail between her legs. The eyes track to Izayoi as if she's trying to say something. "We're going to get our tickets for tomorrow night. Thank you for everything," Hannah says to Izayoi and embraces her tightly.

Izayoi returns the hug. She holds her hand out to Nina. Their fingers connect. "Take good care of her," she says in a heavy accent. "She very special."

"I know," Hannah answers. Her blue eyes glisten with tears, making Izayoi grin that much bigger. _Be well Obasan._

She bows to both of them and waits for them to go up the stairs. As soon as she does, she bolts for the door and runs down the hall searching for Sato. Her sense of smell is nowhere near as strong as her father's or her uncle's, but it's enough to smell a strong musk and magnolia bark. She winds up another set of stairs into the entry way of the hotel and bolts out of the hotel. She finds Sato getting on a motorcycle. It nearly makes her laugh that he's putting on a helmet. It's not like falling from a bike would kill him anyway.

She rushes after him, standing in front of the bike with her hands on the bar. "Look, she's five hundred, not a child. Why not let her decide?"

"You know they've never been on good terms."

"Yes—"

"Is she really Rin?"

"No, yes, maybe…I don't know. She has her soul and—"

"Why was Taka with her? Taka has been missing for ten years and the last I checked, Sesshomaru-sama never removed the missing person's report on her."

"Taka didn't tell you?"

"Before or after she attempted to beat me?" There's something in the way he stares at her that makes Izayoi's skin crawl, but there is also something in his scent that makes her want to get closer. She hasn't seen him since she was much younger and only in passing when she visited her Uncle on the other side of the well. He looks like Hisato and not all at once. His face is more defined than his twin.

"If I tell you, will you tell Rieko to come? Please?"

Sato leans on the bike, flexing his muscles, making the bike shift with his weight. "You think that's why I'm refusing?"

"The seizures are just as bad for you and if this works it could work for you too."

"I'm over a thousand years old, long life isn't on my list of goals. If the seizures take me—"

"And what do you think is going to happen to her if he dies?" Izayoi points at the hotel to make a point.

"She'll live a better life than another one at his side."

"That is so out of line and you know it. They were happy together. They were in love. They were everything to each other!"

"You have spunk," Sato breaks into laughter. "Just like your mother."

"My mother?" Izayoi's face falls. She asked so many times, wanting to know what happened to her mother, especially after her father and nothing hurt worse than knowing that they were on this side and their mother on the other. Sota was married and kami, Tatsuo. Ojisama didn't tell them that Tatsuo died. She found that in his records. When she asked why he would hide it from her, he said nothing. He went into another room and that was the first time she heard him cry.

"What happened to my mother?"

"She lived a good life—"

"What happened to my mother!?" Izayoi screams, drawing the attention of passersby's.

"At this rate everyone is going to know about us." He leans over the bars of the motorcycle and puts his palms on her hands. "Listen to me, I'm not against finding a cure to the tremors—"

"Then what is it? He's my uncle. I don't have anyone left. My father is dead, my mother is gone for the next ten years, what am I supposed to do?" her voice breaks and she covers her eyes. "There's no one left and I don't even look human." She rubs the tops of her head, where the scarf she wears covers her ears, the obvious signs of her origins. "What sin did he commit for you and Rieko to act like this?"

"It wasn't what he did to us, it's what he did to Rin."

"And that makes him guilty for five hundred years? You're sentencing him to death—"

"You didn't see it."

"I don't need to and it's not just him, what about Katsumoto? Does he deserve to die?"

The mention of Katsumoto's name makes Sato's mouth close and his eyes soften from amber to honey. "How bad is he?"

"He'll be dead in a few days, so will Ojisama if you don't do something. Yuki had a bad seizure too. What are you so angry about?" There has to be reason. In the months following the well's closure, Izayoi spent most of her time in her Uncle's study reading. He kept a diary for centuries but it didn't really start until after they came back from China. Rin was nearing her sixties then. The diaries were laced with a guilt that she has never understood. They were in love, Sesshomaru always loved Rin and that never changed, so why was he always so guilty.

Sato shakes his head out and exhales. "Get on. She'll come if I tell her too. You know he isn't the saint you think he is?"

She lifts the bottom of her skirt to get on the motorbike, baring her tanned legs. He hands her a helmet. She hugs him around the waist and immediately blushes from the contact. He's thick around the middle, but no part of him is soft and his muscles flex as he blasts away from the hotel. The wind whips her against her face making her eyes sting. She's forced to hide between his shoulders.

For the longest time, it was normal for her to live between eras. As children, they spent of their time on the other side of the well, but when Izayoi became a teen, she started changing places more often until she and Mayumi were happier here and the boys with their uncle.

She laughs to herself at the irony that her parents would have four children, split equally between the two worlds.

A light ahead turns red, bringing them both to a stop. "What's so funny?" Sato asks her.

"My brothers are over there and I'm here but we were both from the same time, I guess. You never said what happened to my mother." The motorcycle's engine roars again, sending them catapulting forward, making her grip his trunk that much tighter. "DO YOU HAVE TO GO SO FAST!" she shouts over the wind.

"If you think this is fast, you should see me flying!" he calls back over his shoulder.

"I bet Katsumoto is faster!"

"That he is!"

"Why are you so angry with Ojisama!? Why is Rieko so upset with him? What did he do?"

"Rieko has been upset with him ever since she first met him." The bike comes to a stop outside of the clinic. Sato takes his cell from his pocket and punches in something Izayoi can't see.

"How did they meet?"

"Under the worst terms and she remembers it."

Before they can enter the clinic, she grabs him by the arm and asks again, "my mother. What happened? He won't tell me. He just said that she was happy."

"She was," Sato says almost nostalgically.

"Was?" Izayoi chokes out.

"Listen to me," Sato cups her face and brings her close. She can feel the air from his nose puffing against her skin. His eyes snap open and then soften, confusing the hell out of the girl about to break into tears. "She died centuries ago."

That does it, Izayoi coughs out a sob. A part of her knew that her mother would have stayed over there. There was no use for a miko in this era.

"She was happy. But you will see her again."

"How do you know?"

"Because you came back," Sato explains to her completely confused, "you came back but you didn't stay."

"What?"

"After the cure was found, the well opened again. It was the last full moon of the summer. You and your sister came, but you didn't stay."

"Ka-san did?"

"I think I've said too much."

"You haven't said enough!" Izayoi protests.

Sato abruptly turns from her and storms into the clinic in a fury. He bangs on the window making the shutters rattle. "Wait I have a key!" She opens the door, but he shoves past her, past Mayumi who looks completely shell shocked and through the nurses that have been stuck in the office for days. "What are you doing?"

"That goddamn bastard. Always manipulating everything!" Sato slams the door to the procedure room open, knocking it off its hinges.

"Excuse me!" Haruto yells getting up.

"When were you going to tell me, huh? Or are we back to playing games and making sacrifices for survival?" Sato pushes the doctor out of the way. Haruto is caught by Tsukimaru before he hits the floor. Yoshi tries to get in the way but it's Natsuki who pushes him aside and all Izayoi can see is that Ojisama's eyes are closed and despite the racket, the yelling and the clatter of Natsuki slamming Sato against the wall, Sesshomaru isn't moving.

**Sesshomaru-present**

It's her dovelike voice that catches his attention. As a child, she always sang silly songs about how she would be with Sesshomaru forever. Her fear of humanity kept her from seeking out her own kind, until he left her with Kaede. It was fear of losing her that prompted it, combined with Kaede extolling him the virtues of Rin learning what it meant to be human. She was meant to live among her own kind, become the typical docile Japanese woman, but that isn't what happened.

The girl he loved turned into a warrior with her own mind, her own life, a will of her own and a giving heart. She never told him, but he knew that she often gave the gifts away.

One year he caught her passing along a thick winter coat to her best friend Satsu.

As she aged, Rin stopped singing the songs for him, about how they would be together forever. Childishness gave way to womanhood. She knew better than to hope that he would love her. It wasn't until they were in China that she began to sing again.

It started with lullabies for Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru who missed their home and branched out to other folk songs. They picked up the language in the time they traveled and her voice, it would lull him to sleep at night, calm his seizures and bring him hope.

It's that voice that draws him to the mirage of the hot springs. She sits on the water's edge, dressed in a silken, thin white kimono that slides down her left shoulder. The same shoulder that he tried and failed to heal so many times. Fate had its own ideas that left his lover writhing in pain some nights, especially when it stormed.

She glances over her shoulder, an apparition. The rocks and the hot springs are visible through her translucent skin. "You stayed."

"Do I have a choice?" He kicks one of the rocks expecting pain, only to be met with nothing. "You're leaving me."

"The more I give to her, the less I have here. She's leaving soon," she speaks wistfully, like the wind is carrying her voice.

"Must you torment me?" He inches closer. The backs of his fingers slide through her wane body.

"There's nothing I can do. You let her go."

_I would know your soul. I will find you. _It's just he never expected to find her when she was still a child. Fifteen in this time is not like fifteen then. Rin had already experienced more in life than most. At fifteen she wasn't a child. "She's a child. What would I tell her about Natsuki? That she would be forced to wait for my instinct to take over? That I can't resist her?" he scoffs, digging his hands into his pockets. "No…she should not live as you did."

Rin exhales. The leaves around them tremble with the force of her breath. "I made my choice."

"Do you think anyone in this time would understand that choice?" Against his will, the words come out like knives, cutting into the already thick air.

"It doesn't matter. I miss you my love." At last, she stands from her place and approaches him, cupping his chin. Her fingers slide like feathers along his chin, up his cheeks to the stripes and trace the moon. "I'll wait for you."

"I'm dying."

"Live my love." Ghost-like lips press into his mouth and the vision fades into black and then all he can hear is the sounds of scuffling, the smell of dokkasu. He forces his eyes to open. Natsuki has Sato pinned against the wall by the neck.

Gone is the lover who once hid in the corners when attacked. After she fought the Ogre King, Natsuki gained in strength and cunning. She was trained well by Sesshomaru's mother. There were days, although he had promised to not approach her that he had watched through cracked doors as she learned to spar, wield a sword and received lessons in decorum from his mother.

For Rin, being his counterpart, his equal, his lover came naturally. For Natsuki, it was something that had to be learned.

She tightens her grip on Sato's neck. Sesshomaru jerks up in his mind but his body doesn't respond. The bag with the chemotherapy medicine is empty and his stomach feels the effects. He wants to vomit. His ribs cramp and his back aches. The world spins around him. To the side he sees Katsumoto retching into a emesis basin, while Yuki holds his hair back and caresses the youkai's back. Katsumoto whimpers as if he is a child again. "It's okay," she whispers.

When she came of age, Katsumoto returned. He had not followed them to China. He stayed in Japan. When Yuki's first heat came, he sent for Katsumoto. They went to their home in the field of daisies and the only thing Sesshomaru told him was that if he hurt her, Sesshomaru would kill him. Katsumoto took Yuki then as his and in the days that were spent in seclusion, he cared for her so tenderly that Rin cried for joy. She had said the only thing that made having children more magical was seeing someone else love them the way that a parent does.

And now, Yuki returns the favor, loving and caring for Katsumoto.

_Enough you two, _he berates Sato and Natsuki. The noise is so loud it's making his head hurt.

_You bastard, _Sato stares at him. _You knew._

_Of course I knew. I knew since she was a child. The question was when._

_And you expect me to take her now?_

_I expect you to let Natsuki go._

"Stop it! This isn't helping anyone!" Haruto yells from his space by the wall. The nurses huddle in a corner. Yoshi wavers in his place.

"If you touch him," Natsuki threatens, releasing Sato with a thud.

"I don't understand, what's happening?" Yoshi asks sheepishly.

"You and your secrets." Sato comes over, rubbing his neck. Red thumb prints trace his jugular.

Sesshomaru swallows, but all it does is remind him that he has a tube down his throat breathing for him. He's never felt this weak before. _Is she coming._

Sato takes his phone out, flicking his finger across the clear screen. _Why should she?_

_It's not just me that her blood will save, but Katsumoto, you? You would risk it all over pettiness?_

_Pettiness? _Sato's eyes flash red. _Is that what you call it? What you did to your lover?_

_She forgave me._

_She never should have._

"Would you two stop it!" Natsuki flares at both Sato and Sesshomaru. "This isn't helping anything."

The humans glance at each other confused.

Izayoi and Mayumi approach Sesshomaru's bed. Yuki hasn't even noticed the upset in the room. His family alone crowds the small recovery room.

_I will send for her if you admit to what you did._

_I know what I did. She forgave me._

_She shouldn't have._

_Do you think you and Hotaro would have known any different? Do you forget the time we lived in? That our people were murdered in droves? _Sesshomaru would bite his own lip if he could reach it through the plastic tubing in his mouth. _You cannot understand. You are not pure-blooded. You can resist. You do not have to take Izayoi as yours. I do not have that luxury._

Natsuki pales. He can feel her hurt floating across their bond, digging into his chest, splintering into his heart.

_Our love was as pure as yours and Hotaro's and my enemies no less cunning._

Sato turns in a circle, hands on his hips, obviously livid. _You never told me how you obtained forgiveness._

He's about to say sacrifice, because their love was pure and touched the darkest recesses of his soul, but the words stop short. A clatter rings out, shaking the bed he's in. Natsuki collapses, banging her head against a metal tray on the way down. _Natsuki! _Without her, he will not survive much longer and more than that, she has been his companion for three and a half centuries. He hasn't told her that Taka is alive and well and once again he curses the web of lies and secrets he's kept.

_She'll come, _Sato emits coolly. "After you tell me what really happened in China."

Everything happens quickly from that moment. Tsukimaru kneels by his mother, lifting her off the ground. He brushes off the nurses trying to help. What can they do, they're human and know nothing about youkai physiology.

Taiyomaru takes her place, sliding a chair next to his father.

_No time, _Sesshomaru tells him weakly. _Prepare Katsumoto._

Taiyomaru's yoki is warm and familiar, yet intrusive all at once. It wraps around him, settling his stomach, forcing his body to stay alive. "You aren't going to last much longer," Taiyomaru tells him.

Harutoga comes forward, sitting on the end of his father's bed. "Izayoi, Mayumi, help the doctors prepare."

_It doesn't matter, _Sesshomaru lets them hear his thoughts.

"You should go first," Harutoga says quietly.

_No, _he shakes his head. _Katsumoto. They still have a life left to live. I've lived mine._

"I won't let you go so easily Chichiue," Taiyomaru picks up his father's hand, kissing his knuckles. Yet Sesshomaru knows that isn't true, he's exhausted too and it's only a matter of time.

**Please review! Oh this is getting thick...everyone has an opinion.**

**Coming Next: **

**Harutoga-Present**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Nina-Present**

**Responses:**

**Kimmigirl9: **Nope...Rin didn't cheat. Those memories were of when they were courting before sessrin.

**Smmahamazing:** OOOO what'd you think?

**Itzatakahashi:** Nope...she didn't put two and two together.

**Harukasempai14:** HEHE...Fireworks coming, I just won't say what happens.

**Mechine:** Nope Sato LOL!

**Guest:** Settling isn't love and lets not forget that in RT's world, no Demon/human pairing ended well.

**New Reader:** Oh such a big compliment! Well now you know who's fighting :). Nina is completely unnecessary to Sesshomaru's recovery...so what is going to happen?

**Cashe17:** Oh thank you dear! I've had a fun time writing these stories. It's been an amazing adventure. Please write and PM me when you start posting, I'd love to read and review!


	77. Harutoga-Present II

**I really have nothing of any substance to say LOL :) OMG this is an intense chapter. You'll find out why. I forgot until I reread it :)**

**Harutoga-present**

_Good riddance, _Harutoga thinks after Natsuki is removed from the room. He neither likes or dislikes Natsuki but Tsukimaru, that's another story entirely. Especially now.

When Natsuki first approached his father all those centuries ago, Harutoga was so young he didn't fully understand what happened. Because it happened overnight, he had no time to choose sides or think which one was right and which one was wrong. He was six years old and all he knew was that he was uprooted from his home and lived by the ocean for several months.

Before the disease, Natsuki visited often. She spoke to Harutoga's mother in hushed tones, often in the dining hall. There were days Harutoga and Yuki would sneak a listen by the door to hear what they had to say, convinced that if Natsuki didn't cease visiting during their father's absences that their parents would separate again.

But it wasn't Natsuki that caused the longest separation. That, his father had done all on his own and to this day, Harutoga doesn't understand why. The disease ravaged their lands, forcing them to isolate from the rest of the world, ripping his Uncle from his hands, his cousin, his grandmother and so many of his friends. The cure was found in unity, but after, it was like his father became a different person and his mother, Rin was who she was. She would never beg him to love her, never beg him to stay. It just wasn't her way. "If he's going to love me he will."

Now as he sits by his father's bed, in a much more empty room, thoughts float in his mind about what happens now. Sato demanded to know what happened in China, what brought them back together, but he was kicked out of the room by Haruto.

Taiyomaru sits by their father, holding his hand, maintaining his life. Taiyomaru, his brother that kept he and Yuki alive during the disease, that gave his strength to Natsuki and now to his father. "Will it work?" he asks his brother.

"I don't know. It's the last chance. It's all we have left," Taiyomaru whispers, kissing Sesshomaru's knuckles.

"Why is Rieko so angry?" Harutoga wonders, but after centuries he should know.

"You remember how she met Ka-san. That first meeting was branded into her mind. The way Ka-san treated her, the way he treated Ka-san and now, the politics behind what he has done to keep us hidden, the arranged pairings. She thinks he reduces us to nothing more than animals when we are forced to have sex to reproduce, especially the females."

"She has a lover. She never was never put in that situation," Harutoga shakes it off and groans. "There are no easy answers. If he and the others didn't try, we would be gone. As it is, if his calculations are correct, in another few centuries, we won't exist at all." He leans over his father's railing and kisses his forehead.

Sesshomaru vomited one last time before losing consciousness. Seconds passed before Harutoga realized that his father had not died. Now, the only sound in the room is the rhythmic clicking of the ventilator forcing air through Sesshomaru's lungs. _Rest Chichiue. _"I'll be back later."

In his father's absence, his cousins need to be cared for. Izayoi has barely left the clinic, except for the time she spent with Nina and Mayumi, although she rested in his home with his lover, she's exhausted He finds them in the break room, splitting a bowl of soup. Mayumi sits on the couch with her knees tucked up to her chin, staring at the hot soup as if it's diseased. It makes Harutoga laugh. He takes out his wallet, removing a wad of yen. "Take this, go to the store and buy something to eat."

"What are we going to do?" Izayoi picks up the soup and joins them. She rubs her shoulders like something is bothering her. "Sato won't send for her unless Ojisama tells him what happened in China. What happened?"

Harutoga smiles grimly. "Many things, but it's not important now. Taiyomaru is keeping Chichiue alive. Sato and Rieko will help."

"How do you know that?" Mayumi asks glumly. "What's going to happen to us if he dies?"

"What do you want to happen?" Harutoga ruffles her hair.

"Go back to Ba-chan's. Go back to Tokyo and the school I was at," Mayumi says as she shrugs deeper into the couch. "You'd come visit right?"

"Of course," he answers, because it's the truth. It was an adjustment at first, when his father brought the girls home, but over the last six months they had bonded again. When he saw them last, he was a boy and they were older than him.

Mayumi wraps her arms around Harutoga's neck, squeezing him tightly, just as a commotion starts at the front of the office. Yoshi slams the door open, face pale, hands shaking. "The new one! Whoever he is! He's seizing!"

Harutoga bolts from the room, down the hall to find Sato on the floor, covered in vomited blood. It gushes from his mouth, splattering the floor, hitting Harutoga's feet. "Dammit!" The hanyou slides through the mess on the ground, landing on top of Sato's chest. He pins Sato's arms down with his knees. "Izayoi, Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru's blood."

"It works on him too?" Yoshi's eyes widen in shock.

"It works on all of them," Mayumi boasts proudly and adds her wait to Sato's right arm.

"Calm down," Harutoga speaks softly to Sato. "Yuki! Yuki! Mayumi get Natsuki up, I need someone to hold him down."

"Right!" Mayumi makes a break for it to the office where Natsuki is sleeping.

Yuki slides through the blood on the floor with a smug grin on her face. "Son of bitch, serves you right."

Izayoi follows after her, carrying an IV kit and bag. Yuki catches her by the arm and shakes her head.

"What are you doing Yuki?" Izayoi tries to get out of her grip, while Sato tremors and shakes on the ground, gritting his teeth, biting into his own lip. "He needs this!"

"No he doesn't. Not until he agrees to send for Rieko and she agrees to treat Katsumoto and Chichiue." Yuki bares her fangs at Sato and slides onto her knees.

"That isn't ethical!" Yoshi protests, grabbing the bag from Izayoi and kneeling next to Sato.

Yuki's hand snaps behind her, curling her fingers around Yoshi's throat. "You know we have the strength of ten men. I could break your neck and walk away. You wouldn't be the first human I've killed, not the tenth or even the hundredth—"

"Yuki," Harutoga warns her, knowing her temper. Fear filters off of Sato. The seizure isn't stopping, much like what happened to their father, to Katsumoto so many months ago. The ones who were sick five hundred years ago are being picked off one by one.

"What? He's trying to punish Chichiue for something he doesn't understand. Why don't we punish him." She pads his clothing down and pulls out his cellphone. Taking his index finger, she unlocks the phone and finds Rieko's number.

"Let me go," Yoshi rasps.

"In a minute, I'm not holding you tight enough to kill you. Izayoi take the IV bag."

Izayoi does. Harutoga's ears flick on top of his head to hear the click of the line coming alive. _Hello?_

"Your Uncle is seizing. Should I facetime you so you can see?" Yuki's voice is cold and calculating. "And Katsumoto is dying and your brother is dying, but instead of being here to help, you are too busy sitting on your soap box—"

_"__Yuki that isn't fair—"_

"Isn't it?"

Sato groans loudly and vomits more blood. His skin turns pale, his eyes bulge.

_"__What's happening to Ojisan?"_

"Vomiting to death."

If Harutoga could stop her he would. On more than one occasion his grandmother and father had both said that he was stronger than Yuki. But over the years, whenever their altercations became physical, she kicked his ass. She fought dirty and didn't care. One time she spilled dokkasu into his eyes, blinding him for a day, another day she had slashed a hole through his chest. Their worst fight involved her nearly severing his ankle from the bone during one of her tantrums. "I'll make this simple, Obasan. You come to Chichiue's office in Osaka. You donate bone marrow to save Sato, Katsumoto and Chichiue or I'll let your Ojisan die right now."

_"__NO!"_

"This isn't right." Yoshi twists his hands against Yuki's wrist to get free. "Let me go."

"Shut-up," she snaps and Harutoga is forced to suppress a laugh.

_"__Fine!" _Rieko screams into the phone. The line goes dead.

Sato's eyes are wide and terrified as Yuki releases Yoshi. Together he and Izayoi search for veins. The arms are shot, like the many who suffer from this illness, so they search lower and lower, down to the ankles, still coming up short. "The neck," Izayoi sucks in air nervously. Forcing Sato's head to still, Yoshi inserts the catheter into the neck and then hooks up the IV bag. Sato's breaths go from ragged to relaxed.

A heated scent begins to whirl off of Yoshi. His eyes are on Izayoi. "I wouldn't think about it," Harutoga lets Sato go. "She isn't meant for you."

"What are you talking about?" Yoshi gets up, dusting his knees off and glaring unhappily at his knees.

"Like dogs, our sense of smell is heightened. If you look at my cousin like that again, I'll pull your liver out and feed it to you. Now, if we're done, I'm going back to Katsumoto," Yuki spits out.

Harutoga's mouth falls open watching Yuki walk away. Despite sliding through the mess of bodily fluids, she remains unsoiled.

"I wasn't looking," Yoshi denies.

"You were and besides, she isn't meant for you, she's meant for him," Harutoga points at Sato on the floor.

"What!?" Izayoi screams. "No…no…and no! Aren't I related to him somehow?"

"He's a distant cousin, through Chichiue's mother and that is what they were fighting about. Chichiue has known, as of why he never said anything," Harutoga shrugs. It's hard to define how he feels for his father. Love, affection, trust and loyalty but things have not been the same since the disease came. Choices were made, breeding programs were created for the unattached, all in an effort to increase their numbers. For those willing or where no spiritual bonds kept a couple together, males have been encouraged to take a second lover. Unattached females are bred like cattle, all for the sake of increasing their numbers.

Taka will be no different when her first heat comes. If Katsumoto heals, he will be the one to take her to bed. That conversation had happened in the middle of the night a decade before Taka disappeared. Sesshomaru sent for Harutoga, Taiyomaru and Katsumoto. He sat them down, in monotone telling them that Taka would reach her first heat soon. She was one of the last pure-blooded inu-youkai and therefore the responsibility fell on Katsumoto. Rieko had heard that conversation too.

One more reason why she hated her brother. She felt like he had taken too much power upon himself, that he manipulated the lives of others, but what else was he supposed to do? Harutoga detests the idea of Katsumoto bedding another, but a part of him agrees with his father. There are too few left and as it was before Taka ran off to America, it was a means to an end. There would be no bond, no relationship. They were sworn to silence because Yuki likely would have made sure Taka never went into heat.

Harutoga hefts Sato off the floor, allowing the youkai to lean against him. Yoshi takes his other arm. "We should put him to rest in one of the examination rooms," Yoshi says, slipping on the blood.

Harutoga nods his head, still steeped in thoughts. He flops Sato down on the bed and washes his hands off.

"Why aren't you like them?" Yoshi asks him.

"Because my brother has kept it at bay. Taiyomaru can touch my yoki. But it's only a matter of time," he follows Yoshi out the door.

Haruto comes out of the procedure room. His face ashen, he wrings his hands and shakes his head. Worry and fear smell like rotten peppers that have been soaked in the sun for too long add that to the strange eucalyptus and Lysol, and the hanyou doesn't like the smell. "What is it?"

"I can't get the needles in. The blood tests confirm that their immune systems have been suppressed. We started trying to drill the holes through Katsumoto's tail bone but we can't do it. Sesshomaru-sama is concerned that if we do it via an IV the cells will degrade. We need a direct path to the bone marrow," Haruto rakes his hands through his hair. "My wife is going to leave me if I don't get to go home. This has to work."

"She'll be a widow before that happens," Harutoga says as gently as possible. They won't allow the staff to live, they can't.

"You can stop threatening us now."

Harutoga growls, sounding more surly and threatening than he has in the last several days.

"I need help. Your sister is tired."

Harutoga nods and enters the room. He walks passed his father, squeezing his freehand. Sesshomaru's eyes open and close weakly. "He's exhausted. He can't hold on much longer." Taiyomaru wets a cloth and dabs it along his father's forehead.

"I know," Harutoga chokes out. _Just a little longer…please Chichiue._

"I can't get the needles in," Yuki sobs out. "I can't save him."

Harutoga slides onto the bed next to Katsumoto's back. They've pockmarked his back with markers, indicating where to put the needles in. "Okay." He lifts one of the long needles up. It's thick, with a blue handle. "I'll start by cutting the skin open. Too bad Taka isn't here, she was always better at medicine."

"I can't believe he is hiding that from her," Yuki whispers. "When she finds out…"

"You can't tell me that you agree with what they did to her. She was locked away for centuries, no wonder she ran off."

"Can you do it?" Haruto asks from behind them. "We just need the donor."

"She's coming," Taiyomaru says. "I can smell her."

"Then we should begin," Haruto tells Harutoga and then begins explaining how to make the incision and get the needles into the right spots on Katsumoto's lower hip.

With sweating palms, Harutoga begins to make the cuts with his claws. He starts with two where Katsumoto's backside dimples. For the first time in months, Harutoga hears him make a sound. It's a garbled whine. Katsumoto's finger flex against the pillow and bedding.

"It's okay my love," Yuki whispers. She lifts his head up onto her lap and helps him wrap his arms around her back. "Shhh," she hushes him and kisses the back of his head. Biting her finger she says, "hurry up. Please?"

"Aniue," Harutoga encourages her, "they'll both make it. You'll see."

Just as Harutoga takes the first needle, feeling a flash of nervousness, the door opens and Rieko enters. Long before she stopped wearing her hair in two braids. "Is he okay?" is the first thing she says.

"Sato is fine, no thanks to you," Yuki barks.

"Quiet Yuki," Harutoga's hand shakes. "Is this going to hurt him?"

"Immensely," Haruto admits somberly. "Best to get it over with."

"I'm sorry Ni-san," he mutters and then shoves the first needle in. The crack of bones and ligaments makes his stomach twist. He's no stranger to killing, but that doesn't mean that it never bothered him.

Katsumoto screams in pain, digging holes in Yuki's back. "Shh, my love, shh," she pleads with him.

"Is that what you are going to do to me?" Rieko looks at the skeptically.

"No, we just need your blood. We can take what we need from you in a less invasive way," Haruto assures her and takes her by the elbow. "Come with me." He leads her to the empty bed. "Taiyomaru, can you prepare your father. It might be best if he is on his side to preserve his breathing."

Taiyomaru nods, but Harutoga doesn't pay attention to what is happening behind him. Another needle breaks through flesh, bone and ligament and another scream escapes Katsumoto's lips. "Can you help him?" Harutoga asks Yuki.

Her head wavers back and forth. Tears drip down her cheeks. "I'm too tired. Just get it over with. I have you, my love."

Katsumoto whines against her stomach and then screams again and again. Harutoga tries to block the sounds out. He tries to stop himself from hearing the cries, from losing his resolve and continues shoving the needles in. When the last one is in, Harutoga vomits on the floor. "Haru!"

Harutoga chokes on the vomit, trying to catch his breath. That was too much. There is no pain like hurting the ones you love and none understand that better than his father. "I'm sorry," Harutoga coughs one last time and spits on the floor. "I'll clean it."

No sooner does he finish vomiting than his father begins his own round of cries, although with less painful sobs than Katsumoto. As each needle goes in, Taiyomaru's yoki rises high, making Harutoga's skin prickle with goose pimples.

Harutoga wipes the mess of the floor, while Katsumoto pants and shakes in pain. "How long do these things have to stay in?"

"It's going to take several hours," Haruto answers.

"Kami, I'm so sorry," Yuki whimpers against her lover.

_I will hold you when it's your turn, _Harutoga hears a faint whisper from Katsumoto. It makes his heart relax but only somewhat. They both have to last long enough for this to work. "I need help," Taiyomaru calls Harutoga. "It's more pain than I can manage."

Sesshomaru's teeth are clamped around the tube in his throat, cutting off his air. "It's okay Chichiue." Harutoga gathers his father into his lap, holding his head against his stomach. There were many times Harutoga fell and hurt himself. Times when he cut his knees, scraped his chin and once he even knocked a tooth out. His father was always there to hold him and now he holds his father. _Hang on please. _Sesshomaru hisses in pain as the next needle is forced in. _Just a little longer Chichiue. Please…_

**Please Review! WOW Yuki...hasn't lost that spunk at all. I hope they all can make it! **

**Lucky Seven has been updated by Silver Sin of the Cosmos. It's a gem among the stories on FFN. Barely followed or reviewed but worth it's weight in gold. Seriously read it and tell my friend how amazing they are. **

**Coming Next:**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Nina-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Rin-Past**

**Responses: **

**Kimmigirl9: **Oh we're so close...I hope he makes it!

**Mechine: **HEHEHE you will find out. We're getting there...slowly LOL. All your questions shall be answered in time.

**Itzatakahashi: **I think he's learned that keeping secrets helps to avoid hurt feelings over the short run but not the long run. HEHE more to come!

**New Guessx4: **OH FFN is so weird sometimes...when it puts through so many reviews at once. It makes me crazy! I think Sess was against SatoKag because he felt like she was betraying Inuyasha's memory. While it was happening...the disease was going on. He didn't know then that Sato would live or if they would ever see Izayoi and Mayumi again. Kind of lover with Kagome. I think they felt for each other but it wasn't love and was definitely more physical.

**Harukasempai14: **I told you he is fond of Natsuki no love there. Your theories are interesting...but I say nothing, you will have to wait and find out :). I shall keep you on your toes!

**Luin-Fanel: **It's funny I'm tempted to answer all your questions but then there won't be any surprises left. AHH my cat is attacking me while I try to write this response. We are doing okay too. I'm going a bit nuts not being able to be in school right now so I'm trying to focus on writing a publishable story that I can get paid for and work on my art which you can see on tumblr and twitter :). I hope you feel better. I've also had a cough in the morning that's been frustrating and just a general feeling of bleh thanks to being trapped at home so much. Can't wait for you to read this chapter!


	78. Izayoi-Present IIINina-Present IV

**Hello! I've been a bit busy this week, so please forgive the lack of posting! I just realized I cheated you out of more chapters!**

**Recap: I ALMOST POSTED THE WRONG CHAPTERS! Rieko finally came and the transplants are beginning. Sato is on his death bed. **

**Izayoi- present**

Izayoi takes out a pair of scissors and begins clipping away at Sato's clothing. He'll be next if the treatment works. Judging by how violent that last seizure was, she knows he won't be getting up any time soon. His skin is pale from blood loss and his eyes gaunt. _Why didn't you tell me? _But that was her Uncle. He had kept so many secrets from them, from everyone, all in the name of propagating their species. She found the breeding books in his office. He keeps them here instead of above. Generational lines are drawn, the strong are bred with strong or the weak but never the weak with the weak. Only his children have been excused from it as long as they find lovers before their first heat comes or in the case of the males, there was no one for Tsukimaru, so it made sense for him to be with a human.

Taiyomaru took one of the many orphans that were found by Katsumoto. She was more youkai than human and Harutoga, there was no one for him so he ended with a human. In the days since social media ran rampant, they had found dog demons in America and Africa, but yet again, only small pockets survived. The females in Africa were unable to conceive from Sesshomaru but able to from others of their own kind. The ones in America were sterile, unable to conceive at all. It was hopeless.

All of this is why her hands shake as she removes his clothing. She asked Yoshi to stay with her. Yoshi's adorable in an old man sort of way. He's squat and muscular with chubby baby cheeks. They had spent many lunches together but nothing ever came of it. "Lift him up," she asks him.

Yoshi takes Sato by the shoulders, hefting his body off the table so she can get his shirt and tank top off. Then she goes to his pants, unclipping his belt, and pulling the jeans over his hips, down his ankles.

"Why are they all falling so ill now?" Yoshi asks innocently.

"They've all been fighting it too long. Sato was one of the originals infected. He lost his twin to the disease." She begins the task of cleaning him.

"What did they mean you are meant for him?" Yoshi plugs the sink with a cloth and fills it with warm water. He dips another cloth in the water and starts on the legs and arms. "He soiled himself. I suppose we can find extra undergarments." He pulls off Sato's boxers, leaving the youkai completely bare and exposed to the stale air of the office.

"Yokai stuff. It means that he will feel compelled to bond me."

"Like your Uncle and Natsuki?"

"Just like them. I'm not strong enough to return it. In our case it would be one way. He is attractive." Her eyes are drawn to the soggy sausage between his legs. She shakes off the feeling of warmth it gives her between her legs but then her eyes drift to Yoshi. _Do I get to choose?_

Screams echo down the hall. Izayoi is about to bolt for the door when Yoshi catches her around the shoulders. "The needles hurt. They'll be alright." He pulls her back against his chest. Her body shakes, never being so close to a man before. She can feel the ripple of his abs against the small of her back. "Shh."

"I hate this," she breaks into tears, turning into his arms and crying against his shoulders. "I hate this. They are all I have left. This has to work."

"Shh," he whispers again, but this time his nose slides up her cheek, grazing her skin and their lips connect.

It isn't the first time she's kissed. She kissed a boy back in the Edo. Haru, Miroku and Sango's second son. He was married now with his own children and they had just been curious teens. The kiss felt nothing like this one. Yoshi's lips are hot and dry. They scrape against hers and fire, that was all she could describe it as, burns between them.

Her stomach flutters, she grips his shoulders tighter until he pulls away. "I never had the courage to ask him if I could take you out. But if they don't kill me—"

"You'd have to get through Natsuki," Izayoi laughs and pecks his lips. "It's okay, we'll make it out one day. You'll see."

"Are you two done?" Sato says from the table.

Izayoi's heart drops into her feet. There were things she had never asked her Uncle back then and hadn't had the opportunity now. If she was meant for someone, did she have to? Didn't she get to choose? "Can you give us a few minutes? And send Tsukimaru back to the castle to get some clothes for him."

"Sure." Yoshi leaves the room, leaving Izayoi feeling vulnerable.

"That's what you were mad about? Wasn't it?" She brings a swivel chair up and sits down nervously next to Sato. "I'm meant for you."

"It's not just that," he mutters, groaning, reaching for the IV on his arm.

"Don't!" She stops his hand, pulling it away and holding it down.

"I never wanted to live forever. I can live with death." He reaches again, but this time she forces his arm down with all her weight.

"No…This is so awkward. So you and I are?"

"Potentially. You are human, I have enough human blood to resist. We are not bound to what your Uncle saw. The boy seems nice."

Izayoi lets his arm go and releases a tense breath. "Why were you so angry about it?"

Sato starts rubbing his eyes. "Because of your mother."

"What about my mother?"

Sato's expression changes, revealing something to Izayoi it takes a few minutes to register. "No way! You and my mom?"

"It was a relationship of comfort, nothing more."

"But you two…"

"Had sex?" Sato's laugh shakes with laughter. It echoes in the room breaking the tenseness between them. "Many times, until I became too ill and not after."

"I don't understand."

"We both needed friends. She needed warmth, I gave her that. It was a dark time."

"What happened to her?"

"After," he pauses wondering how much he should say. "After the cure was found and the final battle fought, Rin-sama and Sesshomaru-sama had a falling out. A bad one." He starts coughing. "Water?"

Izayoi nods, feeling a pit form in her stomach. She loved her aunt and didn't understand years before when Natsuki had upset their life so badly. She hands him a cup, lifting his head so he can drink.

"I went with Rin-sama after she healed to find Rieko and Sesshomaru-sama left with Natsuki-sama to spread the cure. We traveled together for weeks to find her and after, Rin-sama returned to their home."

"But he promised!"

"He broke his promise," Sato snarls out. "I could not stay in their home to provide her protection any longer. Rieko needed me. We went to the skies. The Taijiya Kohaku guarded their home during that period but there was nothing to guard. Only a handful of hanyou orphans left behind and most went to bring the cure to whoever was left. My head is spinning."

Izayoi puts pressure on the bag hanging from Sato's arm to get the medicine in faster. "My mother…please? What happened to her?"

"I'm so tired." Sato's eyes roll around in his head. "You don't have to decide now. With any luck, I'll be dead in a few weeks."

"That isn't reassuring. I like Yoshi."

"It's your choice, even if he tells you it's not." He reaches up and caresses her pointed ear. "It doesn't feel right and who knows, if I survive, I may find a human to be with."

Izayoi shakes out a blanket and throws it over Sato, covering him up. "What happened to my mother? Please?"

"Koga," he mutters, rolling onto his side. "He always wanted to take her to the mountains. Even after Ayame passed away."

A knock at the door distracts her. Natsuki opens it. She looks gaunt and pale, as if she's seen a ghost. "I need to speak to you."

"What is it?"

"Alone," Natsuki insists, taking Izayoi out by the hand, into the hallway. "Don't believe everything he says."

"Should I believe that I match him?" She hardens her eyes, knowing Natsuki could be just as manipulative as her Uncle.

"Yes. I assume that was what he was going to tell me and seeing the two of you now, I see it. But listen to me Izayoi," Natsuki squeezes her hand. "It's not as you think."

"Why do I keep asking what happened, but no one tells me the truth? It's not like Mayumi and I can't handle it. I know he was forced to make choices he isn't proud of."

"I'll explain everything to you, after you take that patient, whatever her name was here to the airport in the morning. Rieko is here."

"Is Rieko trustworthy?"

"She cared for Tsukimaru and Taka after she was born," her face darkens when she mentions her daughter's name.

_Taka, you didn't tell your own lover about her missing daughter. _Izayoi's lips clench together, questioning the youkai in the other room, the one she has heard crying, the one in pain, fighting to live.

"Is it that bad? Whatever it was?"

"It's not so simple with your uncle."

"Natsuki," Izayoi whispers, "I need to tell you something." She resolves it's not right that he's keeping Taka from Natsuki, that Taka is leaving in the morning and Natsuki will continue to miss her daughter.

**Nina- Present**

_Images flash in my vision. The pain of childbirth, feeling like the last one split me in two. Another woman with white flowing hair. Seeing him bed her through a crack in a door, so tender with someone else and then so much pain in my own heart. He isn't supposed to love another._

_But why do I just stand there watching? I could have gone in and stopped it. In my mind I scream to take another step forward but my body doesn't move._

_The room changes. I'm alone in my room. No one is watching and it aches below, it burns. There is none I can go to, he'll know. He'll smell them on me, on our sheets, in our bed, on the walls. I go on all fours, rocking into my fingers, trying to dip them deep inside, but I can't reach far enough. There is frustration, upset as I try to touch myself and can't get the release I want._

_Not until I feel his hand move mine. He opens me, like a peach, like a ripe piece of fruit, heavy with juice, dripping. He plunges his fingers deep, pushing inside of me. His fingers find my clit, and the pleasant clamping begins. I rock into him, I want him to make it stop. I force myself to love him._

_He smells like her, like the ocean breeze and yet he returns to me. Seconds later, his hand is replaced by his manhood. I nearly scream at the pressure until he hisses, "relax," in my ears, reminding me to flutter for him, to open and then we begin._

_He presses deep. I moan. It's slow, adagio, as if we have all the time in the world, but I know by morning he'll be gone. I know that deep down I hate him. I hate him for using me, but I'm using him too. It feels good and that's all I care about._

_He lies to me with his warmth, pressing at my soul, baring his love. It feels wrong, but I can't resist it. Together we come at the same time and fall on the futon, a mess of black and silver hair. "My heart," he mutters against my skin._

_Exhausted from a day's work in the fields, from gardening, from caring for children that aren't my own, I fall asleep against his chest. When I wake he's gone and I am alone again._

I jolt awake, barely able to contain my beating heart. _What the hell was that!? _The memories have been different here, darker. A child that died and was buried under a sakura tree. Fights that tore us to pieces, angry words that can't be taken back. A foreign lover, an invader to our tranquility. How many fifteen year-olds have these dreams? He's so angry and by the time I wake up, I'm not sure who's anger I feel more. The dream of myself or me.

Lucy slaps at the kennel she sleeps in, trying to tell me to let her out. I exhale and walk over to the cage, signing to her. _If you would stop running off I wouldn't have to keep locking you up._

She barks again and again, biting at the bars, trying to get through. It's almost as if white and red lights are flying off her body. She wants out, but if I let her out she might run and we are leaving in the morning. _Okay but if you run off, I'm not looking for you again. _ I tell her.

Opening the door, I let her out and she runs straight passed me into the living room and starts snarling at the door. This is not happening again. What is she doing!? She grabs the front door with her mouth, twists it and yanks the door open. I chase after her, but then the world goes dark again and I don't know what's real and what isn't.

_I dream of voices in the hallway, of two white angels with silver hair arguing with each other. The elder grabs her daughter by the arm, trying to pull her away, only for the younger one to twist loose. They look similar but are dressed so differently._

_The younger one is dressed in tight fitting jeans and a loose halter top that accentuates a thin waist and small body. The elder is dressed in traditional garbs. "Where have you been?"_

_Sound, I can't hear sound, why can I hear this?_

_ "__I'm not going back with you!" the girl screams._

_ "__You are going back! You hid from me for ten years, without saying a word, without letting me know where you were! Taka!"_

_Taka? Is that her name._

_ "__I did it because it was the right thing to do." The younger one stands tall, blocking the door. "What you did was wrong. I'm not an animal. How could you keep me locked in that castle for so long? Not letting me see anyone? No friends, I couldn't even see my family below. You stopped me from seeing this world!"_

_ "__It was for your own good—"_

_ "__Bullshit! We both know it was to assuage your own fears. If I'm here I can't get sick and I won't end up like you and Chichiue."_

_ "__Where is she?" The woman tries to get around the younger one. "Taka move."_

_ "__No, Nina is mine. Nina belongs to me and I will kill you if you try to touch her," her tone denies the other. She feigns confidence, but she's shaking in her shoes._

_The older woman's face cracks into a frown. Tears form around the edges of her eyes._

_ "__Tsukimaru made me take her out of Japan. But I chose to keep her. It's not her fault that she was born with Rin's soul. You can't punish her because of it! And I won't let you!" The girl is thrown across the room._

_ "__Haha-ue!" Two green lights fly out of the younger ones wrists, wrapping around the older one's ankles, knocking her onto the ground. "HE CHOSE YOU! HE KNOWS IT'S HER AND HE CHOSE YOU! SHE'S MINE!"_

_With that the elder woman stops and stares into my soul, devouring it, making me feel like I can't breathe. "It's a dream trance, she won't remember anything when she wakes up. We're going back to America. I'm going with her. She'll never return and he'll never see her. Please…let us go?" her voice breaks and she falls on her mother's neck. "I love you, I don't want to fight. Please Mommy?"_

_The woman cries._

_ "__She won't remember," the younger one reassures her. "She won't…."_

But I do. I remember it all when the alarm goes off at five am to take us to the airport. I remember it, when I see Izayoi and notice how similar her hair is to Dr. Rinata, to the ones in my dream and it reflects the light the same way that Lucy's does.

It's why I stare at them as we drive away onto the quiet streets that haven't woken up yet. Hannah yawns and holds my hand. I know she's excited to get home. My foster sisters miss us, so does her husband. He was glad that I've healed. I spoke to my teachers and they were astounded that I can see.

I've done nothing but try to watch videos of signing in English, but it's like I'm starting from the ground up. I'd never seen written words before, letters and real signing. As we go to the airport, Hannah helps me through the alphabet, over and over again, matching them to the brail I'm used to reading.

On the plane home, I made her promise to start teaching me the basic visual signs and we carry on small talk. I tell her about this boy Eiji who just transferred in a few weeks before I came here and that it will finally be nice to know what he looks like. She tells me that he has shoulder length black hair, high cheekbones, freckles and that he also came from Japan. Then he giggles and tells me he has freckles on his cheeks.

His parents adopted him thinking he was healthy but then his medical needs were too much for them, so he ended up in the system. She tells me about how we only have to wait six months for the cochlear now and that she already sent the emails to the surgeons. _Do you think I'll be able to learn to speak? Really speak?_

_Depends on you. It won't be easy._

_I'm going to sound like an idiot. _I nervously pet Lucy in my lap. We go back and forth between her signing into my hand and using full ASL.

There are so many people on the plane, I can't take my eyes off them. They fall on a man with dark brown hair, big lips and eyes so dark even the whites are tinted yellow. He's with two others like him. I watch how his mouth opens wide when he speaks, how he kisses his wife on the cheek and she blushes. Her skin is like copper and their son is tall is skinny.

_Stop staring._

_I can't stop staring. I've never seen a black person before. I thought they were black like the color, but she's brown and he's so dark. Do they speak English?_

_I don't know._

_Can you hear them?_

_I'm not eavesdropping. _She gives me a look that says enough with the conversations.

_They're beautiful. _I smile and wave at them, making Hannah shrink her seat. _What?_

_You're making a scene._

_Oh, my god! Look at that woman's hair…what are those on her skin? She looks like someone took a stack of orange markers and colored her._

_She has red hair._

_But it's orange? Why do they call it red? _I argue with her.

_Because she has red hair. That's just what it's called. Some shades are closer to red or burgundy. The dots on her skin are freckles. Stop staring at everyone._

But I can't. The plane is filled with people with white skin, dark skin, slanted eyes, eyes shaped like moons and so many things I've never seen before. _Can people have white hair?_

_Only when they are old._

_Dr. Rinata isn't old, neither is Izayoi._

_I think their albinos._

_Albinos?_

_They lack pigmentation. It means their skin is white, their eyes are red or light blue._

_But their eyes are gold._

_Enough questions! _She signs exasperated.

_Fine, _I sign back to her and slump in my seat, petting Lucy. She hasn't tried to run off again since last night. Maybe she's an albino. Her eyes are red, her fur is white. I nuzzle her nose, kissing the tip and then take out my computer. There's so much to write about now. It's like Beauty and the Beast, to meet an injured spirit in the woods and care for him and then, my mind starts flashing back and forth. Wolves, I'm surrounded by wolves. I shake the image out but it comes back even stronger than before. The world goes dark and then I come to again and he's holding me. For the first time in forever, I knew what warmth felt like.

Hannah gazes at me strangely. She knows I write, but not about what, or that I dream about sex more often than any girl my age should. Lucy nuzzles my palm, telling me it's okay.

The Demon and the Maiden. That's what I'll call this story, my story. A part of me can't help but wonder though, will I ever see Dr. Rinata again?

**Please Review: OOO...what's going to happen?...Natsuki and Taka fought it out!**

**New Reader: **Oh yes an intense chapter. I had fun writing it. Izayoi knows nothing. I am so glad for your review because I nearly posted the wrong chapters which answer your question.

**Harukasempai:** They're only threatening if they can't help them. That whole fear of being discovered. we shall see what in the following chapters. Yuki definitely can be an ass, but she is also desperate to save her lover.

**Mechine:** Oh yes! Yuki was freaking ruthless. I forgot about that part because I wrote it a while back and I was like oh yeah...she's desperate. That's what happens when someone is desperate. Arranged pairing are what they do in Zoos to stop extinction. They actually have this whole explanation of how they are doing IVF on Elephants in the US to keep them alive.

**Smmahamazing:** I'm so happy you read the last two chapters! Yes! So much happened and I love Izayoi too. I know it could so be Jerry.

**Guest#1:** Ouch

**Guest#2:** Ouch

**Guest#3:** He did, but they weren't successful. And now he's just too sick.

**Itzatakahashi:** HEHE He is the king lies. I love morally grey characters. He definitely wasn't black and white in the anime. Glad you love this story!


	79. Sesshomaru-present XII

**I forgot how intense these chapters are. :) Squeeeeeeeee.**

**Recap: Sesshomaru finally received treatment. Now to see if he recovers. **

**Sesshomaru-present**

The world is a blur. Flurries of noise erupt around him. The sounds of flatlining, the burn of the defibrillator against his chest. Ribs crack, vomit rises in his throat. He isn't sure where he is or what's going on, besides the sounds around him. For as much as he smells his own blood and can't move from the uncomfortable position on his back, he smells Katsumoto's too. He hears Yuki's cries. She's begging Katsumoto not to leave her, the way Katsumoto had begged Yuki to stay when she finally came of age.

Things never quite went back to normal, not after China, not after the disease. Their mission became life, one that encompassed all that they were, with little left for passion and normal life in between.

He lets the memory wash over him. Yuki had finally grown so tall and willowy. Her head reached his chin. She no longer wore her hair in pony tails, but in a complicated French braid that fell down to her bottom. The weaves were mixed with shells that were once his mother's. She looked like Rin, but with his markings and coloring.

"You know it's time," Rin said, laying on the futon in their bed. She was old, so very old, but yet so beautiful. He dressed her in soft silks, because anything rougher made her skin rash. He burned incense in their bedroom because the scents of summer made it hard for her to breathe. He read her stories from the scrolls, until one day she asked him to tell her their story. "I'm forgetting it."

He smiled that day, lounging in bed with his wrinkled lover. He broke into the story of how they met. More than anything, she wanted all the memories, the words they had spoken to each other, how she had run at his heals but always slightly behind him. She begged for more details, how high was the sun? The color of the leaves? Her sight was beginning to fade. Flecks of white speckleded the corners of her eyes. So he told her all he could, until that day when she demanded that he write it down. "You can't forget me."

He shook his head, and pulled her bony body next to his. "Why would I forget?"

"Because hundreds of years from now, you will live and I will not." Their lips met. Without fail she would laugh a withered chuckle, tracing his cheek stripes. "You kiss an old woman?"

"I kiss my soul."

"And make love to an old woman?" Her appetite had decreased but there were days he would hold her beneath him and kiss her nether regions with the same fervor he had when she was younger. He didn't see an elderly woman when he made lover to her, just Rin.

"My heart," he rested his forehead against hers. "You will always be remembered."

"Then write it my love," she begged him. "Write it and read it to me. Don't let me forget. Don't let them forget."

"She hates him," he reminded her, picking up on the subtle change of speech. After more than a century together, it seemed they could finish each other's sentences. Their interactions required less words, she always knew what he was thinking. "She doesn't want him."

"Let him court her," Rin sighed, lifting herself up on the pillows. "Something you never did."

"Did I need to?" He kissed her neck, burying his nose against the skin, satisfied that at well over a century, he could still make her squirm.

"I want to see them bound before I die my love. Make her court him. Katsumoto will care for her. He will love her."

"As I love you," he whispered against her ear, "but with less heartache."

"My love, do you think I regret it?" She turned to face him, cupping his chin and this time withered, wrinkles lips pressed against his. "Do you think I would have chosen another?"

"Once…for many years yes. What will I do when you are gone my heart?"

"Live," she croaked. "Live and love those around you. Be the healer that you are famed to be. The demon of Lover's Park. The one who takes the sick, human or youkai, whose hands slaughtered hundreds but healed thousands."

Her confidence in the essence of his soul always astounded him. "My heart…there is one way to assure you will always be with me when I need you."

"He said it would come with a cost and you would not know that cost until the end," she treaded carefully. Years before, he had asked Bukoseno to seal a piece of his soul to the tree, in the event that he passed away and couldn't impart the rest of his wisdom onto his children, particularly onto Tsukimaru, to explain why he kept him away, to explain that he loved him just as much as the others. Or for his hanyou children, to remind them to be more like their mother, to live the lives they knew she would be proud of. The cost was unknown, Bukoseno had said, if a piece of Rin's soul was taken from her body.

"Come to me my heart," he mutters at the white lights above him. "Let me love you."

"Quiet you," Natsuki demands. She sits next to him in a soft teal yukata, completely uncaring that women stopped wearing these centuries ago, that children wear them in the streets on festivals, but this one, he gave her this one.

"My heart…" he rasps, half asleep, staring at the ceiling.

"Heart?" he hears Haruto's voice.

"It's what he called my mother," Yuki's voice enters his ears.

"It's time Yuki," Sesshomaru groans in his sleep. "Katsumoto is meant to be with you. Your first heat is coming…"

"That was so long ago." Natsuki's fingers run through his hair, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Heat?" Haruto asks.

"We aren't like humans. No monthly cycles. Every half-century, she goes into heat. Much like an animal," Natsuki supplies the answer.

"Katsumoto brought you flowers, it's enough. You aren't a child anymore. His name is Katsumoto, not Dogface," he continues his ramblings.

Yuki giggles from the side of Sesshomaru. "That's what happened, isn't it Chichiue? You told me he we would follow the human custom of courting. He took me to the river, where I used to hide from him as a child."

"You poisoned him with berries, pretending it was a picnic." Sesshomaru's eyes roll into the back of his head and then forward, struggling to focus. Cracked lips are graced with a dry tongue. "So thirsty," he coughs.

"Give him ice to suck on," he hears Haruto again.

Cold touches his lips, blessed moisture.

"Rieko had to go to the mountains to get the cure. Katsumoto was so angry with me. I didn't want to be with him, but Ka-san made me take care of him while he was sick. I learned so much about him, like he can sing and that he was never the best with a sword. That he nearly killed himself trying to protect me during the final battle with monks."

"He couldn't let you die. Be gentle Katsumoto," Sesshomaru grumbles, turning on his side. His skin is cool, the tremors are gone, for once he feels like he can breathe without it aching. "It's her first time. Please…as a father asking for his daughter, don't hurt her."

"Is he okay?" Natsuki's timid and scared as she asks.

He feels metal against his chest, something on his forehead. "Rinata-sama?"

"Don't hurt her…My heart, he'll be gentle. He won't hurt her. She's ready."

"He's still recovering," Haruto intones. "The preliminary results returned. You should be glad to know that his blood seems to be returning to what it was before he was infected. Without knowing how long Rieko will need to recover. We'll begin the same procedure on the rest."

"I want to take him home." He feels his head being lifted into Natsuki's lap.

"Sweet one…why didn't you wait? She will hate me. It's only a matter of time. The price was her memories, the ones of forgiveness, when I sacrificed my soul."

"What is he talking about?" Haruto asks, completely confused by Sesshomaru's ramblings.

"What he had to give up to keep her," Natsuki answers as her hands float through Sesshomaru's hair. "He's cured? When will his strength return?"

"In time…"

Time.

Sesshomaru's eyes open early one morning in his home, just as the stars are beginning to rise. He wakes to the rustle of leaves, a gentle breeze floating past him, cool air and what feels like rain drops, but warmer. Hands on his chin get his attention, making his eyes roll open again, as they had in the past but this time he is aware of himself. "Natsuki?"

"I'm here," she whispers and kisses his lips.

Adjusting his eyes, he sees where he's at, under the sakura tree, near the camelias, so close to where he buried her body. He rolls onto his side, feeling empty inside, but stronger in body. "It worked?" he asks his lover.

"It worked."

"The others?"

"It's slow work finding matches for the others, but Haruto and Yoshi have been working around the clock, between their regular clients."

He smiles inside, but it doesn't touch his face. He reaches out and touches the flowers, as if he's touching Sakura's body. "You lied to me Sesshomaru," Natsuki mutters. He feels her claws digging into his shoulders.

"Taka did not want to come home. How long do you think you could contain her in the sky?"

"You only say that because she is with the one who has the soul of your dead lover!" Natsuki finally yells, pushing him off her lap. "Is this how it's going to be?"

"Did you expect any different? You were told to wait—"

"That was centuries ago. You cannot keep punishing me for one mistake—"

"One mistake? That mistake cost me months, years with Rin! My comfort, my peace of mind, my ability to be with my family in peace!" He rolls over and pushes himself up, feeling the effects of weeks without food and nearly stumbles.

Catching him around the waist, Natsuki floats down onto the bench. "And what am I? What are Tsukimaru and Taka? Nothing to you?"

"Never nothing," he groans, knowing that once again he's caught. "They are my children but you…you cannot ask me to turn my back on the girl."

"Isn't that what you did? By sending her away?"

"I didn't know I would live." He flops back onto the ground.

Natsuki's face breaks in pain. He can feel it pulsing through their bond, but not deep enough. Not like the stabbing pain of Rin's bond breaking. That day in the forest, where he bore his soul to her, stripped them both naked and was forced to let her go.

"Sweet one," he gathers Natsuki into his arms and kisses her head as if she were a child. "Now you will know what it feels like, but the pain will not separate us. For that to happen," he lifts her chin and their lips touch, "we would have to be in love."

"And we aren't…are we?" there's something off in her answer.

"We aren't." _My sweet liar…Tsukimaru…_he thinks as he begins to eat. He lacked the strength now…but Tsukimaru would suffer the consequences of his choices.

"And you'll go back to her now?"

"No," he says in between bites of raw meat. "She's a child now. Let her live her life."

"And then?"

"Does it matter Natsuki?" Another stab of pain hits his bond.

Weeks seem to pass quickly. He takes a leave of absence from work to recover. There's no point in perpetually wearing himself out. Thanks to hotspots and sky towers, he's able to at least catch up on paperwork and files. It's there he finds an email from Nina. She tells him that she's home and the world is so different. She's making friends, fighting with her siblings and her family is happy once again. There's a relief she feels deep inside that she can see and that her body is whole.

She's decided she wants to be a writer, so that is where her efforts are now. But even that isn't so simple. Now she can see the keyboard, so she's learning her letters, to read written language. He chuckles, thinking back on when he and Rin traveled Asia, searching for Yashida, passing out the cure to whomever they found that was still living. They learned Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Burmese, Tagalog, Vietnamese and Pilipino. Rin was a quick study, at times even quicker than he. She would go to the first village and buy scrolls meant to teach children to read and write, then together they wiled the hours away, leaning over the yellow parchment, memorizing the language. It was how he began to wear her down, how he began to bring her back into his heart, where they became what they had been before. Friends.

During the weeks he spends in the sky recovering his strength, he starts a morning routine. He goes to the gardens to run, to train his body and bring his muscles back. He starts sparring with his children again. Katsumoto has been in his home as well since the procedure was done. Together they push one another, faster and faster until Katsumoto's old speed begins to surface and Sesshomaru's superior strength.

Then one night, he calls Tsukimaru to come and be his next opponent. Katsumoto can no longer keep up with Sesshomaru's blows, not for lack of speed, but of strength. He's already broke Katsumoto's ribs, his nose and after nearly severing the younger demons ankle sparring, Yuki begged them to take a break.

He paces, waiting for Tsukimaru in the dojo. The floorboards are light blue and rumple around his toes. "You promise you won't kill him?"

"Leave Natsuki."

"I know you're angry."

"Leave."

"Just promise me you won't kill him."

He levels her with a glare, forcing her to leave.

Tsukimaru's yoki is nearly as strong as his father's. A few more centuries and Sesshomaru won't be able to stop him. A wicked grin crosses Sesshomaru's face when he feels his son land. He wouldn't risk it the months before, but now he would have his revenge.

Years ago, many decades before a baby died from exposure in Lover's Park, what he told no one was that it was in the red flowers, over the body of the daughter he lost. He came early in the morning, to greet Rin and Sakura before he left to work, only to smell the stench of death and find a limp six month old girl.

After, he adjured his children to take shifts during the nights he was out of the country, to find the orphans that were left behind. He founded a center, a large grandiose building next to the park and it was there they were to take them. There they were loved, fed and clothed until either their parents could be found or suitable foster homes. Two days a month, he spent his time tending to the children, reading them stories, making them laugh, keeping them healthy. It was what Rin would have wanted, to pay homage to all the children they had buried during the disease.

But Tsukimaru, he violated that trust. "Chichiue?" Tsukimaru asks as he enters the dojo. He ties his silver hair high on his head and throws his T-shirt and jacket aside, revealing a chest that is chiseled and defined. Not so unlike his father's.

Sesshomaru wraps his hands in bandages, guarding his knuckles. "You're late."

"The children took longer to sleep."

Sesshomaru nods and then attacks. First kicking at Tsukimaru's stomach, his back, then his face. Tsukimaru dodges the blows, twists around the foot and leaps into the air, kicking off the wall. Sesshomaru scoffs, not entertained by his son's flight. He releases a whip from one hand and then the other, catching Tsukimaru by the ankles, sending him careening onto the ground. He slams his son's body harshly onto the floor, hard enough to make the floors crack.

"Dammit," his son curses.

"You're not moving fast enough," Sesshomaru taunts him. Tsukimaru never did have to fight, not the way Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru did. He did not have to take lives until he was much older, until his strength was established, because he was safe. The thoughts eat away at Sesshomaru's mind, that he would raise a child that could be so outwardly cruel. Nina did not have to suffer the way she did, yet she did because of Tsukimaru's actions.

He rams his son's back into the wall, digs his claws into Tsukimaru's skin and throws him face first into the wall by his backside. "Still not fast enough," he snarls and attacks again. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

Tsukimaru's eyes change from gold to red, widening in threat, but his father is faster. Sesshomaru tightens his palm against Tsukimaru's throat, pinning him against the floorboards until they creak from the weight, breaking under the pull. He shoves Tsukimaru through the splintering wood, once, twice a third time, howling each time.

"Chichiue!" Tsukimaru gasps for air, gripping his father's wrist. The third impact cracks the back of his head open. "I can't breathe!"

"Did you think you would get away with it? Taking Taka and Nina? Sending them to another country? Sentencing your mother to suffer!"

"No more than you have!" Tsukimaru howls, bearing his teeth. He throws Sesshomaru off him and this time reaches to his side, seeking his sword that has spent decades collecting dust.

Sesshomaru chuckles, gloats at his power. He calls Bakusaiga. Tsukimaru will feel the pain of his father's wrath. He aims for his son's head, then his son's stomach, each time cutting small gashes into his skin. "What happened between your mother and I is not for you to judge!"

"Yes it is!" Tsukimaru finally catches up, blocking a blow to his thigh, one to his left him and then ducks under Sesshomaru's blade. "You neglected her! You left her to rot here while you took another!"

"Arrogant words out of one that knows no better!" Sesshomaru soars in the sky and then sends a flash of green light down on his son.

Tsukimaru grabs his scabbard, using it to raise a barrier his father can't penetrate. "Do you think I would do the same?"

"You will never know the same!" Sesshomaru growls, throwing himself at Tsukimaru, battering the barrier until it falls. Blow after blow, he forces Tsukimaru backwards until his son falls and Sesshomaru points the blade at Tsukimaru's throat. "You will never know the same. They are all dead and those that are left are related to you too closely for you to bond. What would your wife do? Would she stand for it?"

Even swallowing, Sesshomaru's blade draws blood from Tsukimaru's throat. He knows he's trapped his son. If there were another, especially a demoness, Tsukimaru would be helpless to resist. "What would you tell her Tsukimaru? It was an accident? You didn't meant to? You can control it?"

"I wouldn't shut the other one out!"

"I did not shut your mother out!" Sesshomaru throws the fist opposite the sword into his son's head. "She shut me out. It was her choice."

Flailing weakly, Tsukimaru holds his bleeding skull. His nose is broken, his lips are swollen and his body is covered in blood. "You left her in heat to suffer!" Tsukimaru calls after his father, spitting blood on the floor.

"I made a promise," Sesshomaru turns on his son, "as you promised to guard all that crossed our home."

"That was never my home," Tsukimaru finally breaks. "That was not my home! This was my home! And because of her…because of you! I never had what you gave them!"

Sesshomaru bursts into laughter at the absurdity of it, that his son would compare who got what. "There are always sacrifices Tsukimaru. Whether you understand them or not."

Then as he would with any child. He hefts Tsukimaru over his shoulder and takes him to a washroom to clean him up. Even with his blunder, Tsukimaru is still his son, his beloved, the apple of his eye and a piece of his soul.

**Please review!**

**The chapters got longer at this point so there may be less doubles. But we're getting there :)**

**Coming Next:**

**Rin-past (9th Year of the Disease)**

**Taiyomaru-past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-past**

**Responses:**

**Itzatakashi: **HEHE you're going to find out what happened soon between Rin and Sesshomaru. Natsuki was basically just pissed and hurt and wanted to see for herself what Sesshomaru had been hiding.

**Mechine:** Thank you :). Probably feels sad because I love to create mixed emotions. And also, I don't know when I wrote it I wasn't sold on Izayoi and Sato. I'm still not. He has actually never had sex with Natsuki in his home with Rin.

**New Readerx2:** Is Kohaku there? HEHEHE...we shall find out. The past timeline is definitely still downward. Things haven't gotten as bad as they will...yet. You will get your answers. It just takes time.

**Luin-fanel:** I loved the fight. It was so Yuki. But I love this chapter too. Soooo intense :) I think Natsuki finally understood what she did to Taka and gave her the life she wanted. We're doing pretty good. Kiddies are back at school. I hope you are feeling better. I also hate getting sick. I think all the extra precautions the school is taking is reduces the germ flow in general. I hope you stay healthy and safe.

**Smmahamazing:** OOOO Thank you :) you know I love your reviews. It was an intense chapter. I forgot about the part at the end where Yuki was so sad over the pain Katsumoto was in.


	80. Rin-Past XVTaiyomaru-past II

**OOOO HAPPY DANCE! We just passed 700 reviews :). I'm seriously the luckiest duck in the planet with all you wonderful readers. This chapter is our celebration dance. **

**FFN is being difficult again and reviews aren't showing up. So no responses today. Hopefully once they cycle through I'll catch up on them. **

**Recap: Before 8 years had passed of the Disease. Natsuki is living in Rin and Sesshomaru's home. Sesshomaru is very ill and so are his children. Now it's the 9th year of the disease. **

**Rin-past**

**The Ninth Year of the Disease**

She holds Sesshomaru over a pail while he retches one last time. The rash has spread up his hips, like vines, circling near his chest, blooming around his stomach. The vomit is a mixture of blood, bile, tea and soup. She wipes his mouth and immediately gives him cool water to soothe the burn in the back of his throat.

Their children writhe next to him. Shiori holds on by a thread, so strong and so weak all at once.

"It's okay my love," she tells him quietly, to avoid hurting his ears. "Shh…"

He hasn't spoken for weeks. The fever is too high and the pain too great. The village is not as cold as it once was. The youkai who took shifts using the Halberd are no longer able to wield it. Each day, Sesshomaru is forced out of bed. She and Kagome carry him on a litter to the stone where he planted Touma's Halberd. He chills the village then spends the rest of the morning vomiting and sleeping.

The village is a shell of what it once was. Only a handful of wolf demons have survived. Shippo rests with the remaining fox children in the dining hall, weak and barely able to see. Jaken's people are gone and he is all that remains. He insists on living in the dining room, constantly telling the sick children tales of his journey's with Sesshomaru. And when they cry, he promises them that they will make it. He's been sick for so long. Although it's severe and he could die any day, he insists Sesshomaru-sama won't let him.

Katsumoto has taken up residence on a mat in the hallway, intent on fulfilling his promise to guard the family. At times he sings and it soothes Yuki when the fever makes her head ache and Taiyomaru is too exhausted to ease her pain.

Taiyomaru, Rin gets up from the bed, tucking in Shiori, Yuki and Harutoga along with their father. _Their father…_at times it's so easy to forget that Shiori isn't theirs, that she had another mother and father who also loved her. She kisses Sesshomaru, "I'll be back."

They've moved what's left of the ill to their home and to the field outside. No one from the outside has come in a year. In order to spare their garden the frigid winter, the barrier has shrunk to cover only their home. When travelers ask why Miroku and Sango need such a large lot of land to grow food, they claim they are wealthy land owners with a large family to feed. Over time their children have moved on and only the youngest ones remain.

"Taiyomaru!" she calls for her son, wondering where he went. "Taiyomaru!" She plods down the private corridor to the public dining hall and then off to the side where Taisho, Kagome and Natsuki are housed.

"Here Ka-san!" A hand waves from Natsuki's door.

And Natsuki…without her, Sesshomaru would be dead. It was a painful pill to swallow at first, that he had been sustaining her and she him, but now Taiyomaru circles back to her too. She limps out of the room, handing Tsukimaru to his brother. The two boys laugh and roll around on the ground. "Can you watch him?" she asks Taiyomaru.

"Sure."

"How are you?" Rin asks timidly.

"In pain," she groans, leaning on the wall as she walks forward.

"Did you change the bandages?"

"It's okay Rin," Natsuki tries to smile. She goes to the kitchen first with Rin following behind her. "I started another bone broth last night. I couldn't sleep. How is he?"

"Worse," Rin scratches her arm as she speaks. She starts filling wooden bottles with the sweet juices the children drink. Natsuki's illness finally began progressing again. At times she can hardly get out of bed, and other days like today, she steadfastly cares for the sick.

The first morning she asked to help a year before, Rin nearly swallowed her own tongue. Natsuki was disheveled, in a wrinkled kimono that had seen better days. Her eyes were hollow and gaunt but she insisted, especially when Sesshomaru took his bed. She whined that she had to clean bowl movements off of sick children. She nearly joined the puking when a hanyou fox demon vomitted in her lap. She swore up and down that she would not return the next day but she did and has as many days as she can manage ever since. _They're my people, _she told Rin. _ I won't let them die alone._

And then there was the night they lost ten children. Rin had never heard Natsuki sing before. She pulled them in a circle around them, raising her voice high in the air, asking them to close their eyes and imagine a world where there was no sickness, where you could taste the flowers you smelled in the air, where their stomachs felt full and they rested in the arms of their parents. She covered them with her mokomoko and kissed their foreheads goodbye. By the time she was done, the last one had passed away.

When night came, she and Rin burned the bodies together and spoke of happier times. Rin's back ached from carrying them to the fire. "This is so barbaric," Natsuki had said.

"It's the only way to stop the disease from spreading."

"Will you do it to him if he dies?"

"He isn't going to. Neither are you."

"Rin," Natsuki held Rin's hand and kissed her knuckles, "say it again. Promise me that you'll take Tsukimaru if anything happens to me and to Sesshomaru? I have to know that someone will love him."

"I won't live long enough."

"I know…but then I'll die knowing my friend is caring for my son and that his brother will be by his side."

They hugged, they cried, because as two mothers, one feared losing her children and the other feared losing her life and not knowing what would happen to the child she left behind.

"Why shouldn't we just give up," Atsuko asks Rin that afternoon as she helps a tired and weak Nobuatsu to drink from one of the wooden water bottles.

"Because we can't," Rin says firmly.

"You lost your children, I won't lose our healer too. And where would you go? There's nowhere safe to live, unless you can make it to the castle in the sky and he's too weak to fly."

"I'm so scared, Rin-sama," she cries, finding comfort in her friends arms.

_Ten years, he said ten years and then he finds the cure. I won't lose them too…_

She circles to Sayako who has lasted the longest. Sota lays drained by her side. He spends his days touching their bond, drawing as much of her pain as he can. Her eyes are crusted over. She can't move. "Obasan," he says softly.

"How is she today?"

"Hanging on." He purses his lips. Their eyes meet. "Did he say anything about her?" This question is asked daily and the answer is always the same. She hadn't thought to ask about her nieces and nephews and only now does she regret that decision.

"She's strong Sota. We'll find the cure. We will."

Her final stops are to the black stone to check on Taisho. "It's standing," he tells her, shifting his weight. A part of Rin regrets keeping him here. If she hadn't, it's likely he would have found someone to marry, settled down and had children. _But what would come of those children? _They had this talk often too. There was a time he courted one of Sango and Miroku's children. She encouraged him to propose, to marry, but he refused. _How can I start a family now?_

"Rin!" A voice tugs Rin out of her thoughts. "Rin!" the call is more desperate.

Just as she rounds the corner leading to the exit of the cave where the stone is kept, she runs face first into Miroku's chest. She lands on the ground with a thud. "Ow," she holds herself. "Miroku-sama!" she scolds him, lifting herself off the dusty ground. "What are you doing here?"

"I come with grave news. Word has reached us that the Monks and Mikos are heading for Bukoseno's forest. They intend to cut him down."

"What?!" Rin yells at the top of her lungs. Would there be no end to this?

"I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do," Miroku says somberly.

"No, there is something I can do. We have sat behind this barrier hiding while they have poisoned and murdered the youkai of this land. I will save him and you will help me. Prepare horses. We leave immediately."

"Obasan?" Taisho questions her as she runs out of the cave, heading home. Although she is nearing her fortieth year, she still feels spry as if she is in her twenties. She springs with Miroku and Taisho loping behind her. "You can't go. What about the children? Ojisama? What do we do?"

"You will stay here and guard the barrier. Miroku and Sango will come with me," she nods at Miroku. No more lives would be taken from her. The tenth year was coming, the cure would be found.

As soon as they are home, she hears a clatter from the entrance. Yanking the door open, she finds Natsuki unconscious. Kagome has already descended on the demoness. "What happened?"

"She over did it. She's burning up. The air is getting too warm. Someone needs to wield the Halberd." Kagome winces, trying to lift Natsuki up.

Miroku takes the demoness out of Kagome's arms, shaking her but to no avail. Natsuki won't wake. "Take her to her room to rest." Rin rubs her forehead, trying to decide who she will sentence to pain and vomiting. "Katsumoto. Get Katsumoto. Have him do it, or Sato."

"Sato isn't strong enough," Kagome chokes out.

"I'll do it," Koga coughs from the corner of the room. "Just help me up."

Atsuko and several others nod and lift his body up, setting him on a litter to take to the halberd.

"I'm leaving," Rin tells Kagome. "They're after Bukoseno." Several gasps resound in the hall.

"Rin—" Kagome tries to start.

"NO!" Rin yells. "They will not take more of our kind. Kohaku owes Sesshomaru-sama a favor. We will ask Sango to send a message to him and I will end this. They will not take him."

"Why?"

"Because he has knowledge dating back millennia, because if we lose him, we lose one of the last powerful youkai of the age and I can't. Please? He has a piece of Inu no Taisho inside of him and he's a friend. I can't lose any more friends," Rin whispers under her breath. "I'm tired of hiding here."

"But—"

"NO! I'm sick of this. How can he find a cure if he can't even get out of bed? He's read those books a hundred times or more and it's not there! I have to do something. If anyone would know what to do, Bukoseno-sama will."

"Then I'll go too," Kagome says resolutely.

"They'll kill you," Miroku warns her after he returns.

"They're going to kill you for betraying them," Kagome shoots back.

"I have to tell Sesshomaru. Meet me outside the barrier with the horses. Kagome, ask Atsuko and Taisho to care for Sato."

Kagome nods.

"We fight," Rin says fiercely. "We make a stand."

"But what about me?" Taiyomaru asks and that stops Rin in her tracks.

**Taiyomaru-past**

Taiyomaru wakes up to the feeling of his mother's pain. When she is near enough, he can feel her and Natsuki, their pain, their illness, their feelings. Sometimes they are so strong, he isn't sure who he is feeling, them or himself. Deep in the slumber that has taken Chichiue for months, the fever that keeps him bedridden he worries, but Ka-san, she knows everything is going to be okay. Yet at thirteen, Taiyomaru isn't sure. He's lost too many friends to this disease. Only his siblings he can keep alive.

He laid hands on the fox hanyous that his brother ran with in the past, willing their illness away, only to exhaust himself. He's sat by Shiori's bedside, begging his yoki to enter her body and make her feel less horrible. It doesn't work.

He checks on Harutoga and Yuki first, touching their foreheads and wetting them down with rags. Only after that, he takes hold of their yoki to drive back the fevers eating away at them, pushing the illness out of their bodies. At times, especially now, he feels like the child he is inside. They both burn with fever that is only relieved on the night of the full moon when their humanity takes over.

Chichiue says, it's because then they are completely human. There is something called an immune system deep inside Yuki and Harutoga. He can feel something trying to push this illness back. He threads his fingers through Yuki's hair first, taking her pain, soothing it. "Thanks Taiyo," she whispers, curled on her side. She's so hot, he's surprised his fingers aren't burned.

"Chichiue said you have to call me Taiyomaru," he corrects her.

"Chichiue isn't here," she mutters, rolling over.

He crawls on all fours and repeats the process on Harutoga. "Thanks Ototo," the boy whispers and then yawns, falling back asleep.

Taiyomaru walks on his knees over to Shiori and starts bathing her skin. "I can't heal you. I'm sorry." She's dressed in one of Yuki's yukata's. The girls wear the same size. Long ago they began sharing clothes. They even played hide and seek from Chichiue once in the forest. Taiyomaru giggles to himself thinking of the time that they led Chichiue on the chase of his life and Shiori held him back with her barrier. But Chichiue was stubborn, he knew she could only hold it for so long. He backed them against the wall of a cliff and waited for his prey to weaken and then caught them both. Since then, Shiori learned to fight and to hold her barriers for longer.

"It's okay," the little bat hanyou whimpers, shaking from the fever.

"I wish my light would recognize yours. You're part of our family. You always will be," he tells her sweetly and then kisses her forehead. "You won't die."

"How do you know?" the little bat hanyou asks. "My tummy hurts," she whines. Taiyomaru grabs her a bucket and pats her back while she vomits. A wet rag is used to clean her mouth and then he sets her down, encouraging her to drink the concoction that is meant to keep her hydrated. Shiori likes cantaloupe in her drink and loves when it's cold as ice and slushy.

"My heart tells me." Taiyomaru smiles, but the words outside itch at the tips of his ears. "My heart is always right." He lets her go and exits the room, sparing a glance at Katsumoto who lays on his side, unable to move. _He doesn't have yoki I can touch either. _He goes to his father and takes him by the sides of his head, pulling Sesshomaru up to him. _Take my strength Chichiue. _He knows Chichiue can hear him, because his father's hands come up to cover Taiyomaru's cheeks.

"No more little one. You're going to break yourself."

"No, Chichiue, I'm strong because of you." He can hear her now, his mother is leaving, something is happening. It creates a panic in his heart that he can't escape. He runs out of the room, down the hall to find his mother. "What about me?" The words spill from his lips before he can stop himself.

Ka-san sighs and kneels down, touching his chin. "Bukoseno is too important. He carries so many years of knowledge, knowledge we can't lose. They can't keep doing this."

His stomach begins cramping and it feels wrong. "Please don't go. Who will take care of me?"

"We could bring him with. They can't purify him and he knows well enough to hide," Obasan suggests.

"But you don't have to go. The sun and the moon are coming to save us!" he argues without knowing what it means. He's heard Natsuki sing it so many times, now he sings it to Tsukimaru. "Tsuki…who will watch Tsuki?"

Ka-san's mouth tightens. He can sense anger and frustration rolling off her like waves of the ocean. They went to the ocean many times. They have home near a cliff-face where they spent the last month of winter every year before this happened. He would play with Tatsuo and run with the wolves. His favorite game was hide and seek. He and Tatsuo were the best at it, because they could mask their yoki and their scent, but they both knew well enough to look for tracks, broken twigs and other things people left behind. Tatsuo was fast but Taiyomaru was faster.

"What do you mean the sun and the moon?" Miroku asks him.

Taiyomaru smiles and starts singing the song:

_The sun follows the moon as he bids the day goodbye_

_For a moment when the sun is low on the horizon_

_The moon shares the sky and together they wizen_

_They speak of a day when the wind will grow wings_

_And bring to an end, the end of all things_

_Yokai and hanyou together will depart_

_Unless the wisdom of the sun and moon_

_Blend together to save us from our doom_

_Born from strife, their lights will glow_

_Bound forever in the journey below_

_For one brief moment their lights will combine_

_Together forever a radiance divine_

"What does it mean?" Miroku asks Ka-san, but she shakes her head.

"I don't know…Sesshomaru used to sing it to Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru, but I don't know what it meant. I don't remember. We don't have time for this. We have to leave. If it would take an entire day flying, how long will it take on horses?"

"Weeks," Miroku admits with a sigh.

"I did the math to convert the time once, I would guess a week or more."

"We can do it. I'm tired of this. We've been sitting here dying, while everyone is fighting for their lives and he's no closer to a cure now than he was years ago!"

"But Ka-san! The moon—"

"There's no time. Miroku, gather the horses. We leave tonight. Taiyomaru you will come with us."

"But that leaves everyone here vulnerable!" Taisho, Taiyomaru's cousin enters the room. Taiyomaru feels his stomach clench. This doesn't feel right. Something feels wrong and he doesn't know why.

"They would be anyway," Ka-san says resolutely and it makes his skin crawl. "What would we do if they came here? Chichiue is sick," she tells him. "There are so few left that can stand. If this works, we can stop it, we give strength back to the ones that are still alive. How much hope would they lose if Bukoseno dies?"

"I know that," Taisho's head waggles back and forth.

"What do we do?" Ka-san's eyes fill with tears. "What do we do? Just let what's left of our friends and family die? We can't. We can't transplant Bukoseno but we can stop them from reaching him and after that come back and maybe beat the cure out of one of them. They'll be waiting for us. Why couldn't he just tell you?"

Kagome follows them down the hall as Rin runs to Sesshomaru.

"Chichiue will know! He knows about the sun and the moon!"

"Enough," Ka-san rebukes him and it hurts worse than the times he's been hit for misbehaving.

She enters the room with grace and beauty, so quietly and leans down by her lover. "Oh no," she whispers. "Taiyomaru, bring fresh rags. My love, wake up."

Chichiue is a mess again. His eyes are crusted over, his body covered in sweat and he's vomited more blood. It covers his chest, his clothes and pools between his legs.

Taiyomaru runs out of the room, down the hall to where the linens are washed and brings fresh cloths for his father and a clean bucket of cold water. Together they wash Sesshomaru, his hair, his shoulders, and change his clothes. The entire time he doesn't stir. Again Taiyomaru gives his father his strength, feeling a fire burning within him. He hasn't told anyone that he feels like each time he does, a piece of him is lost and he's holding back something more terrifying than himself.

"My love, wake up," Rin says more forcefully.

Chichiue groans, seemingly only half awake.

"I'm leaving. Bukoseno is in trouble—"

"Ask about the sun and the moon!" Taiyomaru insists but this time his mother's hand raises and flattens the side of his cheek.

"I said enough!"

Betrayal has never felt harsher or more misplaced. He chokes back a sob and runs from the room, abandoning his mother and father to find Natsuki. She would know. He stops long enough to encourage Katsumoto to drink the tea that keeps the fever down. "Thanks little one," he mutters, half gagging on the drink.

He runs down the hall and to the left, where Sato lays in his Obasan's room, just as weak as the rest. He hasn't told anyone, but a piece of Sato he can touch. He's certain it's because of Hisato being bonded to his grandmother, but the connection feels weak, like a river pushing through a pinhole. "Stop little one, you're exhausting yourself."

He is and he knows it. He goes across the hall to where Natsuki lays sick in bed. She isn't nearly as bad as the others, but lately, her strength has been waning. He rolls her head back, lifting her chin, "Natsuki…Natsuki wake up!"

She doesn't move. She groans and moans in a deep pain, not nearly as deep as Chichiue's. "Please, wake up!" he yells, slapping her cheeks. "Please?"

She doesn't move. "Tsukimaru." He picks up his baby brother and holds him tightly. He's nearing fifteen just like Taiyomaru is, but just a toddling child. Taiyomaru knows he understands more, because they talk and Tsukimaru listens to what he says. "Tsuki, you have to be strong now. You have to keep them strong."

An idea comes to his head, something so wrong and so right at the same time and his target is Chichiue. _You have to have enough strength to survive and to make sure you understand…_he runs into what used to be his father's study, dodging the survivors, the sick ones, his mother and his aunt until he finds a parchment and paper. He writes down the words he knows, sun, moon, to save and then slits his wrist open, bleeding crimson on the marble flooring, on the walls and the paper, until he finds his father.

**Please Review! Oh what did Taiyomaru do?**

**Coming Next:**

**Kagome-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Nina-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**


	81. Kagome-Past XISesshomaru Past XIV

**I literally forgot how much I love these chapters when I wrote them. HEHE...**

**Fun announcement. This story has been nominated again on Tumblr. Thank you! Best Dark and Fire and Ice best Non-canon pairing. Hurray! **

**Recap: Rin just discovered that Bukoseno is in danger and went to rescue him. **

**Kagome-past**

The weeks pass quickly. They ride at night, resting during the day, avoiding villages and roads that are often frequented. The horses run wild during the day with Taiyomaru in charge of watching them and at night they move again. Together they laugh about the way things used to be, when Kagome was a teenager chasing Naraku. How hard the three years apart from Inuyasha were and how thirty years have passed since she came to live in this era. She's nearing fifty now and while she looks it with wing-shaped wisps of grey hair curling around her neck and temples, Kagome doesn't feel it.

Miroku's hair is more salt and pepper. His skin slightly wrinkled with age, leaving Sango who is thankful that her husband can no longer get her pregnant. Like Kagome's children would be in the future, Miroku and Sango's are grown. "I wonder if you'll see them again," Sango comments as they walk through the brush of a thick forest. Here they must be careful of traps, so they go on foot to keep the horses from being injured.

"I don't know," Kagome hedges, not knowing if she will. At night, she imagines Mayumi at twenty five and Izayoi at twenty eight and asks more questions than she has answers for. Mayumi was always easy going, but needed a strong hand to rear her. Izayoi was adventurous and studious, sure of herself and not, all at the same time. She wonders if they had children, is she a grandmother again or if they are happy and were able to move on from the pain of separation.

He never told her. But then again he had to know they disappeared for years. Which leaves her chasing down a trail of time, not knowing what is true or not.

"I like to think they settled down in your world," Miroku says with a smile. Somehow, despite what he has seen, the monk has never lost his optimism.

"That would be nice," Kagome says thoughtfully. Truthfully, on the road, she's had that much more time to think about them. Caring for Sato has been a distraction to her reality. In the years when they could still have sex, the pleasure let her mind drift. She agreed to marry him, but a part of her wonders…was it convenience? On the road, things seem less simple.

Weeks later, she's sent to scout ahead with Miroku and Sango. Rin and Taiyomaru are targets. They hide in caves next to a rockface, while the rest search for enemies. They are only hours away from Bukoseno's forest. Along the way, they've heard tell of groups of monks and mikos, of a demon forest that kills those around it.

They creep through the forest until they crest over a hill into a village. It's been years since she lived in a human village. She's forgotten what children sound like scampering in the fields, mother's singing along the rivers as they wash their clothing and father's working the rice paddies. "There's a large shrine at the end of the village," Kagome points out. "We'll have to avoid this village. Rin's bond is too strong."

They dare not mention Sesshomaru's name. Without knowing who's listening, they can't ensure that his name alone won't bring a battle down on their heads. Sesshomaru is still hunted. Rumors of his village have abounded the entire time the illness raged. A haven for demons in the lands of the Dog Lord. "I agree. We should get moving. If we go around the village, through the trees we should be safe."

"Taiyomaru will need to stay hidden," Sango says, as she kicks her horse in the other direction. "His ears and stripes will give him away."

"This mud stinks," the boy whines as Kagome uses clay and dirt from a lake to cover his markings. Behind him Rin works his hair into a loose French braid and tucks his ears into the hair, hiding them in the mess of his black mane.

"It'll keep you safe. We're closer now. You remember what you are supposed to do?" Kagome asks. At times she forgets that he's a teenager, not a little boy. The big brown eyes and bright smile often make her forget.

"Hide in the trees and if anything happens, I'm to go home," he repeats dutifully. She can sense the disdain in the words.

"I don't want to lose my nephew." Kagome pats his cheek, swiping mud across the stripes.

"I know," he whispers and then looks at his mother. "You shouldn't worry so much. It's not good for you."

"How many times have I told you not to sense my emotions and tell me about them? I'm worried about Chichiue and the others," Rin says, tying off the end of his hair.

"Me too," Kagome adds.

"I think we're missing something. When he first came to you, all those years ago, what did he say?" Rin asks Kagome.

The Miko glances over her shoulder into the bushes where Miroku and Sango have disappeared. Thirty years of marriage and some things haven't changed. They still can't keep their hands off each other. "It's so hard trying to remember. He got my attention with his yoki and then we went to a café and talked. He told me about what would happen with Natsuki and Tsukimaru—"

"But why? I know he loves his children, but a lifetime with her? He only cares for her, he doesn't love her."

"Yet he's spent more nights by her bedside than yours."

"That's not fair."

"He keeps her strong," Taiyomaru interjects, looking offended and wrinkling his nose.

"He said both children had to live, he didn't say why." It hits her suddenly as she gazes at Taiyomaru, "can Tsukimaru touch your bond the way that Taiyomaru can?"

"If he can I don't know. He's too young."

Miroku and Sango emerge from the bushes, blushing like they are teenagers and righting their wrinkled clothing.

"It can't be just that, there has to be more," Rin encourages her but again Kagome falls short.

"I don't know. We talked about it once. He reminded me around the time he thought it was time. That's how I knew to kill Touma. I had this nasty wound on my arm, the one I told you about from Naraku and he used his blood to heal it. I thought I was going to die from that fever. I don't remember anything else."

There has to be a reason he wanted them to live, but she can't think of what it is. Throughout the years, Taiyomaru has kept both Natsuki and his father from death, exhausting himself in the process.

"Maybe Bukoseno would know more," Rin whispers and then stops. "That's it. Bukoseno-sama will know. He has to know. He knows everything." She darts off in the direction of the forest with Taiyomaru following at her heels.

"Rin wait!" Kagome runs after, plodding a trail, ignoring the sounds in the underbrush.

"Kagome-sama! Rin wait!" Miroku calls after them, catching up.

"No! Miroku, Sango go find the monks. Kagome and I will go to Bukoseno-sama," Rin orders them. "Split up. Taiyomaru stay close."

"Okay," the little one responds, leaping from the trees, just like Inuyasha used to.

They run until Kagome's knees start to burn and her lungs can't keep up. She starts falling behind, just as branches reach out, wrapping around her waist, lifting her up. She's face to face with a carved visage inside the tree. He's angry, his eyes are red, his limbs tighten around her body, cutting into her kimono and slicing her shoulders. "Your kind are no longer welcome here."

"Bukoseno-sama, stop!" Rin yells.

"Bukoseno-sama!" Taiyomaru shrieks, running up the tree and tugging on the branches. "Let Obasan go, please!"

Kagome's heart pounds in her chest. She can't breathe. He sets her down, making her land on her ass. "They're near," the tree mutters. "Coming to cut me down. They cannot kill me, I cannot be killed."

"Is he always like this?"

"No," Rin answers, sheathing her sword. She walks forward with her hands raised in peace. "Bukoseno-sama it's me, Rin."

"Rin?" He lifts her by the shoulders, bringing her to his eyes. "You brought the sun with you."

"The sun?" Rin and Kagome ask Bukoseno together.

"The sun and the moon are our last hope. The disease that has killed our kind. I have drank of its waters. I am not living like the youkai who were spawned from animals." His branches quiver then slash into Taiyomaru's shoulder. They come away crimson.

"Ow!" Taiyomaru shrieks, holding his arm.

"It will heal us," he whispers as if he's in a trance and licks the blood from his tendrils. "Where is the moon?"

"He means Tsukimaru," Rin comes forward. "The fable, Bukoseno-sama. The fable what was it?"

Kagome's breath quickens. "Of course that was it. He was sick with seizures. I should have known. Every time it was bad his children gave him a bag of blood. I thought it was his, I never realized before. They always called for Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru."

"His blood," Bukoseno groans, letting it cover his mouth. "And the blood of his brother. As with all things that will not last forever, our time has come. Kagome-sama?"

"He knows me?" she asks, bowing to the tree.

Taiyomaru comes forward, and presses his shoulder against the wrinkled face. Bukoseno's eyes change from red to black as he drinks. "I'm the sun?" He backs away.

The branches around them quiver again, tense like a piece of string that has been wound too tightly. "You must leave," Bukoseno tells them. His eyes dart around and that's when Kagome sees it.

"Oh no," she turns to face the oncoming monks and mikos.

Rin draws her sword, brandishing it high and then digs a plain knife out of one of her sleeves. "Let them come."

Arrows fly at them. Bukoseno crushes them, slashing them with his branches, blocking them from reaching Kagome and Rin.

"Get in my branches little one!" The ancient tree grabs Taiyomaru around the waist and slings him high into his boughs.

"No Ka-san!"

It happens quickly. Kagome blocks the arrows flying at them. She slices through several shafts. The monks and mikos come at them, closing the gap, making hand to hand necessary. As much as she's trained, they are stronger than she is. She punches one in the stomach, another in the face and then sidekicks one in the back, sending him flying. She's always hated killing, but in this time it's a necessary evil. She slams the hilt of her sword into the stomach of one behind her and then another stabs the one in front of her through the gut. There are too many of them. Easily twenty or thirty. She can't keep count.

Suddenly a feral howl rises above, the same moment a whooshing sound and white flips across into the fray. "Hiraikotsu!"

Kagome breathes a sigh of relief. Miroku and Sango are running in their direction. Miroku's fighting skills are more honed than in the past. He leaps over the head of one monk. Slams the end of his staff into the stomach of another, spins and slaps the next in the face.

The howl rises again, chilling the air. "No Taiyomaru!" Bukoseno bellows.

Kagome barely has time to react. All she sees is a flash of black hair, drawing blood, spilling organs, ripping heads off and teeth too long for the mouth they are in. Taiyomaru has lost control.

She runs out of the way, reaching for Sango, pushing them both onto the blood soaked earth to keep from being mauled. He can't recognize friend or foe. They scoot backwards, seeking refuge against the elderly tree.

Bukoseno's limbs spiral around Taiyomaru, swinging, flying, finally wrapping around his ankle and holding the child upside down. The feral child has lightening stripes under what used to be brown eyes. They're red and furious.

"Give him to me!" Kagome screams, running for her nephew, flaring out enough reiki to stop his transformation. Bukoseno tosses the child into her arms. She cringes when he lays a gash into her stomach. She covers him. Suffocating his yoki until the child stops struggling and sobs in her lap.

"Kami," Sango gasps, covering her mouth. There are dozens of dead bodies, hacked to pieces like minced meat. "Where's Rin and Miroku?"

**Sesshomaru-past**

The world is dark.

So dark it chokes him. He can't see, can't speak. It surrounds him like a blanket flaming his skin, lighting it on fire, burning him alive. In the recesses of his mind, he knows he's missed something. Something small, crucial that will heal what is left of his kind. He's determined that the human immune system is responsible for fighting off the illness. Even if a human were to get it, their immune system is stronger than the virus and it would likely go unnoticed. But for youkai, a hanyou's is less than that of a human and the pureblooded, they have nothing. They needed nothing.

His mind is adrift, lost in the stars behind his hooded eyes. Flipping through the notes that he kept in his study before he took his bed. In the shadow of what is left of his consciousness, he thinks of antibodies, antibiotics like penicillin that won't be created for centuries, like amoxicillin and erythromycin, but they have no such cure here. Herbs have only gone far enough to stem the tide. Death.

He hears something about Rin leaving, a desperation in her voice, Bukoseno but then nothing else, until tiny feet pad up to him. He knows it's Taiyomaru, because of the way little hands thread through the hair on his temples. Then white hot yoki enters his body, warming it, curling around him, pushing back the pain, fever and the nausea eating at his body. Then something else, something warm, coppery and thick. It slides down his tongue, trickling into the back of his throat. _Send the sun and moon to save us, _he hears in his mind, an echo of an echo.

The liquid burns. It stings. He doubles over on himself in pain. _What is this? _The heat radiates from his belly, down his limbs, into his fingers, up his spine. It crushes his lungs, makes him want to gag. He grips his pillows, bringing them close to his nose, seeking Rin's scent, the smell of morning dew. She isn't there. Her scent remains in the down pillows. He breathes heavily in a pathetic attempt to compensate for the pain. He howls. It hurts.

"Sesshomaru wake up," he hears her voice. "Sesshomaru please," she begs him, lifting his head. She pours liquid down his throat. It feels different when he swallows.

His eyes flicker open and shut, blinded by the morning sun. Her scent is stale and nearly gone. The hands on his head are Natsuki's. Slender white fingers curl through his hair, combing out the tangles. "Natsuki?"

"Open your eyes," she says frustrated with him. That he can feel through their connection.

"Where is Rin?" He sits up, smelling the sweat soaked blankets. They don't smell like her. They smell like him. He sniffs the air, seeking the rest of his family, fearing that she had left him, that he had driven her away with his cruelty. He stumbles to the door adjoining their bedroom to the children.

He trips on his own feet, falling to his knees and forces himself to crawl to Yuki and Harutoga. Their skin is boiling, the air is thick with heat. "The halberd," he mutters to no one in particular.

"We're all too weak." Natsuki comes in after him holding Tsukimaru.

He wrests his son out of Natsuki's arms, sniffing the downy white cheek. "My son," he whispers. He pulls Harutoga and Yuki up on his knees, grateful to find them still breathing. Their eyes don't open, their bodies are slack and breathing shallow. He closes his eyes, accepting that his children will leave him far too soon, by nightfall if he doesn't think of.

"Your fever broke." Natsuki slides down the wall, sitting next to him.

"What?" Sesshomaru sets Tsukimaru down and touches his own forehead. His body feels miserable, like he's been smashed by several bear demons. Crushed by Magatsuhi all over again, but the heat has receded. "What happened?"

"I don't know."

"Where is Rin!" he can't hear the panic in his own voice.

"She left, three weeks ago," Natsuki mutters. "I feel horrible."

"Why?"

"To save Bukoseno. Miroku-sama said a platoon of monks and mikos were headed for his forest to cut him down. Taiyomaru went with them."

His stomach begins roiling, panic hits him, fear and something else. She was safe behind the barrier, if she left. He grabs a bucket and vomits blood, choking as it floods his mouth. _I must find her. _The thought is foremost in his mind until the memory of copper sliding down his throat hits him. The scent is still in the air, dull now, but there. He pushes himself off the ground, leaning heavily on the white marble walls of their home. He limps down the hall, leaving bloody footprints behind.

Katsumoto lays unconscious by Sesshomaru's door. He spares a moment to lean down and tug open the younger demon's silks. The rash has spread to his ribs. His days are numbered. Katsumoto's fingers curl around his sword. "Natsuki, make him drink. Change his bandages."

_Three weeks…I've been unconscious for three weeks. _He rubs his throat to soothe the lingering ache. When he feels the sides, his eyes widen in shock. There are bumps on both sides of his neck that weren't there before. He traces the chain down his neck as he rushes to his study where the smell of Taiyomaru's blood is the strongest. On the way, he sheds the light kimono and his hakama, not caring if anyone sees him. He pushes the creaking door open and falls on his knees. Painted in the boy's blood is _Sun, Moon, to Save_

"Little one…" Sesshomaru traces the lines of his son's work. They were just teaching him to read and write when the disease came. His lessons were permanently suspended and his time learning to read limited. Rin had no time. She worked the fields and tended the ill. Sesshomaru spent more time among the sick than with his own family.

Years of neglect, of pushing Rin away come back to him along with a pain that he can't fathom. Humans did this.

What did Taiyomaru do?

He pushes his hands into the pits beneath his arms finding the same lumps as in his neck. He palpates his stomach and then his groin. "The sun and the moon. The tale of the sun and the moon. Natsuki!"

He walks into the hallway, feeling somewhat more stable on his feet. He pulls only his hakama back on and finds his female kneeling over Katsumoto. "What?" she asks him, trying to get Katsumoto to drink with one hand and holding Tsukimaru with the other.

He's never checked her before, never looked for the immune system. He gave up years before, understanding how it was that she had never been as sick as the others. Picking Tsukimaru up, he takes Natsuki by the wrist and drags her into his study, removing her clothing, slicing through the obi, and ripping the cloth of her yukata off her shoulders. "What are you doing?"

"Quiet," he commands her and begins feeling her neck, her shoulders. He lifts her arms spread eagle, inspecting them, completely confused as to why he can feel nothing.

"Sun, Moon, to Save? Taiyomaru wrote that?" Natsuki asks. "What does it mean?"

"Quiet." He pushes her back against the wall, sliding his hands between her thighs, not caring that he is manhandling her groin.

She slaps at the invading hand, pushing it off. "Now is not that the time for that."

He can smell her heat rising, inviting him, calling to his primal instincts. "Stop struggling."

"We aren't doing this!" Natsuki shrieks, pushing him off, tripping on the knee between her legs and faceplants on the floor. "Shit!" Her nose gushes blood.

Sesshomaru tears a piece of cloth from his hakama, pressing it against her nose, tilting her head back. He gags, letting his yoki rise. "Calm sweet one." He kisses her temple, focusing his yoki, feeling the disease lash against his body as he heals the wound, closing it. "Shh," he mutters.

"What are you doing?" She's shaking and stinks of fear.

"Why are you scared?"

"You were pawing me like an animal." She holds her yukata shut defensively. "What's wrong?"

He pulls her into his chest, offering her comfort, letting her cheek rest against his breast. "He gave me his blood before he left. That's why the fever broke. The sun and the moon, do you remember the fable about the hanyou and youkai coming together to save their kind?"

Natsuki gasps, covering her mouth, staring at their son who is watching them as if they've lost their minds. "No…all this time?"

"It's been under our nose the entire time," but the implications of what he's discovered sickens him. _Is it never enough? _It's one thing for Taiyomaru to slit his own skin and feed him his blood, but his pudgy baby…how many times will he have to cut him, to make him cry, to take his life force to save what's left of his kind?

Anger, rage, hurt and so many emotions begin to twist inside of him. _Humans…_it makes him quiver, shake uncontrollably. First they make them sick, they commit genocide against his people and now this? His children must be the sacrificial lambs of deliverance.

"Calm down," Natsuki murmurs to him, holding him tightly. "It's alright."

"No it's not."

"But we have a cure now! Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru!" she argues.

"Taiyomaru is not here!" he rebukes her furiously, pushing her away. "It's only half the cure!" He focuses on Tsukimaru. He's mastered walking and barely toddles when he walks. He giggles at dust floating in the air, tickling his nose.

"But we can keep everyone alive with Tsukimaru's blood!" Natsuki protests, standing up and pulling her son by the arm.

"No!"

"Sesshomaru-!"

"I will not cannibalize my own son!" He picks up a vase and throws it against the wall, sending glass flying across the room. He sinks to his knees, understanding the gravity of what he must do, that he must sacrifice what is most dear to him to save what is left. Panic floods him, pain, yearning for Rin so loud it blinds his vision. He covers his head with his hands, trying to will the pain flaming his body, the panic, all of it away, shutting his emotions away under a blanket of darkness, of nothing.

Tsukimaru runs to his father. Cold, tiny hands press against his shoulders. For the first time he feels Tsukimaru's light enter his body. "Tsukimaru?" Sesshomaru gasps.

"Rin," Tsukimaru says happily. "Ouch."

"Kami," Natsuki covers her mouth, understanding what is happening to her lover. "Sesshomaru, it's Rin."

"They're killing her," Sesshomaru bites out. "They're killing her." He groans and then howls in pain. "She needs me."

"You have to take his blood. You aren't strong enough on your own Sesshomaru. Please?" Natsuki takes Tsukimaru by the wrist and slits it. "You have to." Tsukimaru immediately breaks into tears, sobbing in pain, squirming to get away from his mother. The red contrasts his crimson skin.

He stares at his son, feeling hopeless and betrayed by the human race. _You wanted me to love them father, to protect them…_For the millionth time he wonders what sin he committed that he must bleed his son to save the others, that when he finds Taiyomaru, he must bleed him too, that he has watched mothers, fathers and children die. In the last twenty years he has protected humans, hanyous, sheltered them, even loved them and for this…he lifts Tsukimaru's wrist to his mouth and laps, knowing his saliva will heal the cut quickly and soothe the pain.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" a voice he hasn't heard in years echoes off the walls. "Sesshomaru-sama!"

"Kohaku," Sesshomaru says, rising off the floor, wiping his mouth. He opens the door, finding the Taiyjiya already on his knees. "Sesshomaru-sama. I come with grave news. They've found you. The monks and the mikos are on their way here. We were searching for herbs twenty miles from here when we came across them." He lifts his eyes, "they're coming, thirty women and seventy men by our estimates."

Sesshomaru's mouth dries out. He feels like fire is overtaking him again, making him collapse on his knees. _How will we survive this?_

**Please review! Ya'll know I love it. AHHH Rin and Miroku who has them. And how can Sesshomaru get to her when an army is marching on his home? AHHHHH...**

**Coming next:**

**Nina-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Rin-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Responses:**

**Harukasempai: **I agree with you. I think internally Taiyomaru knows what's happening but is too young to really understand.

**Luin-fanel:** HAHHA what about now?

**Mechine: **Your questions are going to get answered. I think Rin did spur him a bit but also child-fear. He doesn't want to lose his father.

**New Reader:** Your questions shall have answers. HAHAHAHA


	82. Nina-Present IVSesshomaru-Present XIII

**Hello! HEHE yes that was an intense last chapter. Very intense. Now for more.**

**Recap: Future timeline. Nina received treatment and went home. What happens now that she is cured?**

**Nina-Present**

_I'm running. My children are with me. I'm holding their hands. They can't keep up. Something attacked the barrier around our home. It battered it until it dropped and then demons. So many surrounded us. Some are long and look like giant snakes with one eye and large hissing mouths. Others are black and slither across the ground. Even more fly with wings like bats._

_I am strong. I know that. I can make it out._

_There are sounds of feet behind me. The earth crunches with not just the sound of my children. In the distance I hear screaming and crying. The sound of my village burning. The sound of my people dying. In my heart I beg him to come home._

_He doesn't._

_Hear me my love, come home quickly._

_The boy falls, scraping his toes on a rock. He skids stomach first against the pine covered ground. His sister lifts him back up, putting him on her back. We flee for the river._

_When we first built this village, my lover made escape routes around the back of the house. Only my guard and our children know where to find them. We trust everyone and no one at the same time. I can hear myself this time. "Run!" I tell the girl._

_ "__No momma, I can't leave you!" She's a brave one this child. All legs and arms. Skinny with pointed fangs and silver hair like her father's. "Momma please!"_

_ "__No, we can't make it together. Listen to me," I hold her by the shoulders, "take your brother and run. Run my sweet girl. Get in a boat, let the current take you. Stay down. I'll find you. Mask your scent and your yoki. Keep him safe. Promise me?"_

_ "__Momma please…"_

_ "__No, you will listen. Go! Go Yuki go!" I shove her to get her moving. It breaks my heart. Before I have a chance to turn something slashes into my back, cutting three long deep gashes. Warm blood pools around my sides. Forcing myself to stand, I face the enemy. He's shadowed. I know him. I know this man. He's a friend. I lower my blade and ask him for help. I ask him to go back to the village, to go back and heal those that are injured._

_He refuses._

_ "__It's such a waste to see one as beautiful as you bound to one who doesn't love you."_

_The voice sings in my ears, half snake like, half like a song I've forgotten. It's so familiar and so foreign. I know well enough to run but I can't. The pain in my back is too great. I'm in danger._

_I attack._

_The world begins to blur. A tree is shattered. A sapling uprooted. The bases of the trunks are charred. He dodges my every blow. I can't catch him. I feel weaker and weaker._

_After dropping to my knees, the shadow looms over me. "You will know true love now Nina. You will know what it feels like to never be alone again."_

_ "__My children…" I beg._

_ "__Forget Nina, forget…"_

_What are you writing? _Eiji signs in front of my face. We're supposed to be studying for biology, but I had this dream last night, I have to write it all down. All of it. Before I forget.

I woke up screaming so loud that Hannah and Derek came in the room. Not even Lucy could calm me. I was so scared. It was almost like there was another presence in my mind, something so deeply entrenched inside of me, feeding me these horrible visions of my lover. He beat me, cut me to pieces, shred my skin, licked my blood. I thought he was going to kill me.

_Just something for my story. _I've been healthy for six months now and during that time I've been writing down all my dreams.

We came home late on a Saturday night. My parents said I could take the week off and then go back to school. They still couldn't believe that my blood is completely cancer free. My foster siblings and my foster dad flipped when they saw my eyes. I spent the evening looking at old pictures of myself. My eyes were white. I had scars around them. Even those are gone.

We stayed up late playing games until I fell asleep. Then we started on the long process of making appointments over the next week to get the cochlear. Dr. Rinata said that I have to wait for six months to make sure I stay in remission. I'm so excited.

As luck would have it, during that week I was in the park, so was Eiji. He came up to me. We started talking. The first thing he noticed was my eyes. The doctors don't know how it happened. They think it had something to do with the cure. I don't care either way. It was the first time I got to see the sloppy man bun he wears his long hair in and the adorable freckles on his cheek and that he looks so closely like the boy I had dreamt of.

The same boy who I went swimming with. The one that laid me down in the bushes by the lake and used his fingers to pry me open for the first time. He was sweet, until that night the spirit came and tore us apart. It was like he was jealous he wasn't going to get me first. The memories are so confusing now. They're so jumbled.

And then Dr. Rinata. Several weeks after the treatment I was sure he was dead. I convinced myself that I hallucinated him, the markings, the fluffy tail and everything and that he died a peaceful death. The one he had wanted. I emailed him, hoping he would email back. He did.

_Dear Nina,_

_I hope this letter finds you well and enjoying life. Your newest blood results are exactly what we want to see._

_You've probably assumed that I died all those weeks ago. Thanks to my younger sister, Rieko, I have survived my illness. I now know what a bone marrow transplant feels like, an experience I will never take for granted again._

_I will continue to monitor your test results over the next year to ensure you stay in remission. Feel free to get the cochlear as we discussed. I hope you'll enjoy your ears as much as you have your sight._

_Be well little one._

_Keep in touch,_

_Dr. Rinata_

He's alive. He made it.

_Earth to Nina! _Eiji waves his hands in front of my face again.

_What?_

_What are you writing?_

_It's just a story, but it doesn't make any sense._

_I write poetry. _He hands me his own notebook. _Don't let anyone read it._

I busted my ass in the last six months to learn to read. Once I had the hang of what the letters looked like, I could sound them out and connect them to their braille equivalent. His poetry is beautiful. He speaks of a woman with starlit eyes, dazzling hair and a body that is ripe for the taking. Oh god, oh no, I yank my notebook away from him. If he knows I write about sex, down to the taste of it... Lucy is by ankle looking at me like I've lost my mind.

_What is it? _He tries to take it back but I shake my head. Suddenly the whole class is staring at us. We make up some lame excuse and go back to studying.

After class he follows me into the hallway. Catching me by the arm, he starts signing again. _Are you going to Prom with anyone?_

_I'm a sophomore, who would I go with?_ I glance down at Lucy. I swear she nods at me, like I should say yes.

_Me. _His cheeks redden when he points at himself and then leans over and kisses my cheek. Did you know lips are warm and supple? I cup my cheek where he placed the kiss and stare at him completely confused.

_Why me?_

_Well…we're both from Japan. We're both orphans and we're both deaf._

_I was deaf and blind, _I remind him playfully.

_Yeah but now you're just like the rest of us and less of an overachiever. Come on. It'll be fun. I'll pick you up at six. We'll get dinner at this amazing Mexican Restaurant on the strip, go dancing and maybe a walk on the beach?_

_Sounds fun. Let me ask my parents._

I usually get home before anyone else in my house. I like it. When the house is quiet and I know no one is there, it's easier to write. Especially about the things I know my parents would kill me about if they knew I wrote. The erotic and sexual things. I mean you can't blame a girl for wanting to know about it. For dreaming of arms to hold you while you fall asleep, breath on your cheek, only I've been dreaming them for as long as I can remember to the point that I'm not sure what's real and what's not.

Lucy jumps on my bed looking exhausted.

The first thing I do is check my emails. It's mostly junk mail, advertisements from stores but then I see an email from Dr. Rinata. He's asked if I will skype him. He's gives me several time slots. I opt for the one that's when my family will still be out and will be in an hour.

Until then, I start rifling through all my notes, trying to make sense of all the memories flooding my mind. I learned so much while I was in Japan. Since I've come back, I've researched about the dog demon that lived in the sky, followed the Facebook page for Lover's Park and I still don't understand. How could he let her die? Couldn't he have made her immortal? Does true love last forever!?

I hate being fifteen. Nothing makes sense.

My computer is rigged to a Bluetooth light. It starts flashing and beeping as soon as I get calls, emails and messages. My cheeks heat up when I answer skype. I wave at him and then start typing. I want to tell him about the boy that asked me out and that I'm going to prom, when four words pop up. _Look at the screen._

Confused, I raise my eyes. He starts signing to me. It's crude and imperfect and so slow it takes him fumbling and finger spelling to get it right. _Hello, it's nice to see you again._

_When did you learn how to sign?_

_Not so fast, _he begs me with a look of complete confusion in his eyes. Such a newbie. I ask him again.

_After I got better._

_Did you have cancer?_

_Something like that._

_You're better now?_

_Fit as a fiddle._

_Fiddles aren't fit and they make a lot of noise, _I tell him. He smiles. He's probably laughing too but I can't hear it. _I got asked to prom._

_Really?_

_He's a cute boy named Eiji. He's three years older than me. He's also from Japan originally, but he was adopted and then turned over to the foster-care system._ He has to ask me what a few words are. I type and sign them one by one until he understands what I'm saying.

_First date?_

_How'd you know?_

_Lucky guess. How are you feeling?_

_Good. No pain, no bruises, no bleeding. I'm getting the cochlear in a few weeks._

_I heard. Your doctor called me to ensure that your r-e-g-e-m-i-n-e was complete. It's safe. I have no concerns. Just send me a message and let me know how it goes._

_Can I ask you something?_

He nods his head to the side.

_What do you know about Lover's Park._

_Just the legend, _he answers but there is something more in his face, something that looks like pain.

_Tell me it?_

_I think you know it already. _He signs much more slowly, looking disappointed.

_Please? _I pout, sticking my lower lip out.

_Now you look like my daughter. Where is Lucy?_

I wave my hand in front of Lucy. She sidles into my lap, licking my chin a few times. To that he grins. So big his face lights up and his eyes change from deep gold to honey. _Please?_

_Fine…once long ago, many hundreds of years ago, a demon-Lord found a human girl in the forest. He was injured by a blast from a sword. It burned his entire body, broke his bones, his ribs, his back. For days he couldn't move. The first night he was there a little girl came to him, dressed in a pink kimono. She was dirty and smelled. He tried to scare her off, but she wouldn't leave him. She brought him food, even though she was starving. She brought him water and when she wasn't looking he drank of it, cooling his growing thirst._

_They spent a week together. The entire time she didn't speak. One night she came to him with a bruised and battered face. It was the first time he felt something, anything besides nothing. He asked what happened. She wouldn't say. When he accepted her silence, she smiled._

_Then after he healed, he smelled wolves on the wind. They had mauled the child that kept him company. That had warmed his heart. He healed her with his magic sword and she followed him faithfully for nearly a year._

_It took that long for him to realize that a human girl did not belong by his side. She belonged with her own kind. He left her with his half-demon brother in a village to grow up. He promised he would never forget her, that one day she could choose to live with him again._

_But as she aged, their relationship changed. _He takes a deep breath but keeps going. There's something so unreadable on his face and I normally read emotions very well. _When she came of age, they began to notice that they had feelings for each other._

_One summer, proceeding a ferocious battle with snake demons, he fell in love with her. _His hands start shaking. He flexes his fingers but again, continues, _they lived in a time that is so different than what we live in now. He loved her more deeply than he had ever loved before or would again. Together they made three children. Three beautiful half-demon children. Upon her death, he buried her under the Sakura tree in Lover's Park and every night, he sits under its boughs, mourning the loss of his lover._

It's only at the end that I realize that he hasn't finger spelled a single word. He didn't stumble. The signs were sure and confident as if they were practiced. _Why didn't he just move on?_

_How could he? She was his heart. The reason he went from being cold to caring. None could replace her._

_Did he have other children?_

_I don't know._

Lucy's head snaps up and almost connects with my chin.

_How do you know the story? _ I ask him curiously. God that white hair and those eyes, there are times I still wonder if he isn't related to that demon but he looks so human!

_Google. I have patients. Send me an email after the cochlear is put in. Be well little one. _He hangs up abruptly leaving me with more questions than answers. I've googled Lover's Park in Osaka so many times. I tried while we were in Japan and no one had that information. _He seemed sad, didn't he Lucy? _I sign into her paw and she nuzzles my side.

Truthfully, I was too excited about getting asked out for prom to think about the fact that I was getting the cochlear only a few days afterwards. Mom and dad tried to convince me to stay home, just in case I got sick but in the end they let me decide.

I decided that Eiji could pick me up and that I would wear a gorgeous blue sequin dress to match his tie and that Lucy would wear a matching blue sequin bow tied around her collar.

We eat quickly, because deaf dances are the epitome of fun. The music is so loud it makes the teachers ears ring. We don't care because we can't hear it anyway.

Eiji takes me on the dance floor barefooted so we can feel the beat. The first couple songs are fast. I sway my hips at his sides. He spins me around and around until I'm dizzy. We jump up and down and yell at the top of our lungs. By the end I'm exhausted. Which is perfect because it's just in time for a slow dance. I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing deeply, enjoying the smell of his skin. It's sweaty, like salt and pepper. We don't speak while we dance, only feel. The sway of the beat against our feet, the vibrations of the floor, the calm of the moment. His arms are warm, his chest is comfortable and as I look up at him, his eyes gaze down at mine.

There are many things that changed when I came home. One of the biggest is that I no longer feel disconnected from those around me. I can see now. I see his lips part, revealing white teeth. A grin, because he's happy to be with me, and then his lips. We kiss. It's sloppy at first, because I haven't done this before. But slowly, tentatively, it becomes more passionate, more needy. He opens his mouth wider. I respond in kind and then taste his tongue in my mouth. My first kiss.

The night before I'm supposed to get my cochlear implant I can't sleep. I have to fast, like everyone else who is about to have surgery. I hate fasting. I stay up writing more of my memories. Last night, I dreamed about the monster attacking me again. Whenever I woke from the nightmares, my demon lover, the white haired spirit was there. At first he tried to convince me that I knew him, but I didn't. I've never been so scared. I woke up halfway through the dream with my heart pounding. Only after that I slept again and this time it was like he wasn't even trying.

Behind the vail of lost memories, I knew who I was. I knew who he was. I was so alone. I felt like I was screaming, begging for my lover to find me, to bring me forward until he did. He wrapped me in spiritual warmth and then pulled me forward long enough to make love and leave. I'm so confused. None of this makes sense.

Lucy nuzzles my hand as if reading my mind. She kisses my chin and nibbles on my fingers. At least she doesn't think I'm crazy. Eiji thinks I should turn the memories into a real story. He thinks it could get published one day. Once I can make sense of them all. It's like beauty and the beast only ethnic.

Eiji studies Japanese history and told me he would help me find information on Japanese dog demons. That's what he thinks the spirit in my dreams is. He wants to spend a year there after graduation.

_The red camellias. I wake dizzy and alone, but whole inside my own body. I know who I am. I know who is sleeping beneath the sakura tree, surrounded by our children but why am I alone?_

_I can't hold onto the thought, because all I want is to be in his arms again. I've grown accustomed to the feel of his body against mine as we sleep. The way he holds me. How safe it makes me feel. He's mine and I'm his. We're connected so deeply and thoroughly, it's like we can't live without each other._

_I make it across the threshold, to the tree, but the flowers. They weren't there before. I land next to him, waking my lover. I was going to tell him, we did it. We made another baby. But he tells me it's gone, buried before I woke up. We lost our baby. We wanted that baby._

_The memories spin out of control. Traveling together, monitoring his lands, but no matter what I do, I feel empty inside. I see other mothers with their children and wonder why I couldn't have the same thing._

_Until one night, he brings me home and we make the most sensuous love in the bathtub. He licks me the way he knows I like, making me squirm beneath his mouth and pant in ecstasy. He begs me to allow him to give us another child and this time when eyes change from white to red, he's in control. He doesn't maul me._

_I lay beneath him, parting my legs, giving myself to his pleasure, to his love, with everything inside of me. I don't understand how one minute we're in love, the next we're fighting, how we lost so much._

And then I open my eyes, groggily waking up in the hospital room. Hannah is there holding one hand and Eiji is holding the other.

**Sesshomaru-Present**

"How long are you going to watch her?" Taka asks her father.

When he found out she was asked to prom, he felt the need to see her. To make sure that she was safe.

Nina is dressed to the nines, beautiful, yet still so childlike. Rin was more aged at fifteen, not like this girl that is twirling around with this boy. "He looks like Kohaku," Sesshomaru shakes head.

"Who was that?" Taka asks him. She's in human form, sitting next to her father on a bench inside the dance. No one has noticed the two dog demons that don't belong.

"Someone else who loved her," he speaks wistfully, carefully.

He watches with a wry grin. Eiji's mouth moves down and takes Nina's in his. "You're not getting jealous are you?"

"No," he answers honestly. Nina is not his. And this time he won't interfere.

"Then why did you come?"

"To make sure she is happy. In six months she'll be able to hear," he tells Taka. "She won't need you anymore."

"Don't say that," Taka winces.

"Dogs only live for ten to twelve years. Your time is running out," he reminds his daughter, standing and leaving the gymnasium. Eiji and Nina are still lip locked. Long before, he had caught Rin in the same position with Kohaku. That night he had initiated their bond but now, he would do what should have then, give her the space to have a human relationship, to love someone else. _Who knows, _he tells himself, _it might be what she needs._

"I can't just die," Taka whispers as she follows her father to the side of the school. "How is Haha-ue?"

"She misses you. But you know that. Come home Taka."

"No. This is my home now. These people, this place. Um…how do I die?"

Sesshomaru chuckles and considers his options. "An accident. A marmot demon to cover your tracks?" He raises an eyebrow. "Shippo can help."

"And after?"

Sesshomaru's brow rises higher. "What do you want?"

"To teach actually. But I need a degree. Not one of the fake ones that you pay for. I want a real one. Nina wants to go to Berkley, I want to go with her, like this." She points at her humanoid body. "Please say yes?"

"Do you need Chichiue's approval for your self-esteem or for my money?" He pulls his daughter into a hug.

"For both Chichiue." She kisses his cheek. "You've gained weight! You're not so skinny anymore!"

Warmth blossoms in his chest. "I will pay for your education Taka and plan your death."

"When?"

"Two years. When she's eighteen. Just before she graduates. Death will come to you, then you can return like this. You know you may not be friends. You may have to let her go."

"I guess I kind of hoped that all our time together would be different—"

"She doesn't know you Taka. She knows Lucy. Don't expect more than she can give."

"And you Chichiue?" Taka takes her father's hand, leading him on a walk around the large complex where Nina has spent her entire life. "Is this letting her go?"

He ruffles her hair, but Taka doesn't know. She can't, not until she has loved, what it means to let someone go and find them again.

"I want to have sex Chichiue," Taka pokes his stomach.

He nearly chokes on his tongue.

"Before my first heat. I want the first time to just fuck someone. Do you know anyone? Is there an app for that?"

"Taka!"

"I'm just joking. You should have seen your face. Don't worry, my cherry is still very intact."

"Where did you learn to talk like that?" he scolds her, soaring into the sky, motioning for her to follow.

"American TV. Chichiue? The stories are getting darker…"

"She doesn't know the worst yet," Sesshomaru exhales, knowing it's coming, the worst part, the sins of his past.

"It doesn't sound like you."

"You weren't alive then."

"You aren't going to defend yourself?"

"Defend what? I am what I am. Youkai, not human, not prince charming, not monogamous. I loved Rin with everything inside of me but after the disease Taka…I couldn't."

"What aren't you telling me?" She twirls around him, pirouetting in the sky.

"That your father is a monster." He free falls for the earth, letting the wind whip his clothing. _One that did not deserve her love._

Taka flies beneath him, pulling up abruptly. Together they sit on their mokomokos in the grass watching the stars. "Remember when you taught me to fly?" A big grin crosses Taka's face. "I was so scared. You threw me off Soba-sama's castle walls. But you never let go of my hand. You said if we were going to die, it would be together. But if I didn't want you to die, I would find the place between fear and frustration and fly."

Sesshomaru laces his fingers through his little girl's hands, noting how un-childlike she is. "It only took you slapping into one tree to find it."

"You wanted to die didn't you?" Taka's face is long like her mothers, with wavy white hair more like Rin's. It waves in the wind, floating past both of them.

"Yes," he answers honestly. "And no. I had you Taka and Tsukimaru to live for. In the darkest of places…Rin and I were so broken hearted when Sakura died. So devastated that we could lose a child. There are days I still think she used her power from the afterlife to send you to me."

"Chichiue…"

"She always wanted another daughter. She would have liked you. Fate brought you together."

"You aren't jealous at all that she's canoodling that boy?"

"Canoodling?"

"Getting funky?

"Taka…"

"What?"

"Shut up."

**Please review! YAY she has a cochlear. Anyone wanna guess where that scene in the beginning came from?**

**Next: **

**Rin-Past**

**Sesshomaru-past**

**Taiyomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Responses:**

**Guest#1: **I don't know...I never numbered them.

**Mechine:** They weren't really able to. I think they didn't realize it was so bad until it was so bad. You shall see what happens.

**Guest#2:** I hit 242,000 words. But it can't be judged by what FFN says because writing author's notes and responses to reviews has elongated the story.

**HarukaSempai:** Funny story, you know the bible with Jacob? It's very similar. Especially when the woman is forced on you. In this case though, Sess treasures all five of his children. Sounds like an interesting movie.

**Luin-Fanel:** HEHE it's a good story. I forgot how much I like the end. Well really all of it. So I haven't been very vocal about what I think of Yashahime because I want to give it more time. My enthusiasm was curbed when the hint cards started coming out on twitter. I love sequels but I have big issues when stories rehash and reuse old plot devices. So I'm hoping that what I began to feel is just my imagination once more episodes come out. So glad you are feeling better. Can't wait for your response on this one.

**Smmahamazing:** Just wait... your epic battle is coming!

**New reader:** Answers coming! I promise. Back to the past timeline after this.


	83. Rin-Past XVI

**Another chapter! I think I mentioned this story was nominated Best Dark on Tumblr Feudal Connection. Voting either starts Oct 15 or Nov 1. I have no idea. Sessrin stories don't typically win, so I don't expect to win, but I'll take Best Angst and Best Dark Noms :). **

**Recap: Rin disappeared after the battle with the monks. An army is on Sesshomaru's doorstep. **

**Rin-Past**

She's lost track of how many times they've made her scream. They knew she would come if Bukoseno was threatened. They had hoped that it would be Sesshomaru himself or so the head monk told them, but he assumed correctly that her demon lover was too ill to come. She didn't need to say it in the first days, in fact besides whispers to Miroku, she said nothing.

Days have passed. They're deep within the confines of a cave, buried behind obelisks of black and brown stone, dripping with moisture. They took Miroku in first in the night after they were captured. They denied him both food and water, despite their ploy at friendship. They boasted of the elaborate trap they set, how they played them like children. It was Miroku's silence that sent them reeling. They knew that he knew where Sesshomaru lived and that he had manipulated them for years, throwing them off track, deliberately protecting the youkai behind the barrier.

Miroku was thrown back behind bars next to Rin, battered and bloody early the second morning. His cheek was bruised, one eye swollen shut and his back covered in slashes from the whip. "They're going to do the same to you," he warned Rin.

"They won't get anything out of me," Rin's stomach twisted in fear as she spoke.

"It's going to hurt," he persisted.

"In between my pregnancies, Sesshomaru and Hisato taught me to withstand torture," she admits sourly, not because she hates them because of what they did but because they were both right and it was one more skill the Lady of the house might need one day. Once Sesshomaru laced her back with dokkasu and let it sit for a day, burning her skin down to the bones. Hisato cut slow gashes down her belly, bleeding her as if she were a pig being led to the slaughter.

Each time her lover healed her, took her pain after and gave over his body, pumping and pulling within her. Soothing the aches with the essence of his soul. But this would be different.

"I'm so thirsty," she complained, staring at the water dripping from the stone ceiling. "Do you think it's safe to drink."

"I don't know," Miroku had answered her, leaning against a rock.

Rin tore his garments and her own, making bandages, wrapping them around Miroku's trunk to sooth the gashes. She found cold rocks for him to press against his cheek and gathered water from the moisture in the cave to sate their thirst, even if it was only a little. Food would be something else, if their captors would give it to them or if she could catch some vermin skittering through the cave.

As promised on the second night, just as she was finally falling asleep, they came for her. The head monk was a ruddy man, in black and purple robes. He offered her tea to drink, a plate of food, treated her as a Lady of the land. "Rin-sama," he bowed low, "I regret that have to meet under these circumstances."

She didn't answer, silence. If she learned anything from Sesshomaru, it was silence. She made no move to touch the food that was given to her. She sat dignified, a queen, not a captive.

"I'm sure you understand that the time for youkai to live in this world has passed. Your bond to the Dog Lord must be broken."

Her face remained stoic, but she broke out in a sweat. If there was one thing she knew they could do, it was to remove his yoki from her body. The prospect terrified her because if they did, he wouldn't be able to find her, he wouldn't be able to heal her from the damage they were likely to cause. _My love…_she stopped short of sending for him, putting on a brave face. She was a woman now, nearly forty, strong on her own. He was too sick to come…He was alive in the future and that was all that mattered. The thought gave her strength to face the one that would attack.

"You can eat. We didn't poison the food." The monk sat down and ate from her plate. She glanced at him skeptically before she started slowly eating. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of letting them know she was starving after two days of no food. "We simply want to know where the barrier is. How many are left inside and how to bring it down? Their time has come. It's the age of man now."

"Is that what you call yourselves?" This time, she couldn't stop herself. "Men? This is how men behave? They poison what they fear and hide behind bacteria and germs? I've known more honorable men."

"Is that what you've been the consort of all this time?" he shot back.

"I am not his consort. I am his wife, his heart and the reason he has not spent thirty years killing off every last one of you. You are dishonorable, disgusting and deceitful." She spat in his face. "You kill the innocent with the guilty, passing judgment on all because of the actions of the few and that is all I will say!"

"As you wish."

And then it began. It started simple. They slapped her face, her cheeks, her forehead. They punched her in the stomach, broke her nose and when that didn't work they stripped her bare. She prayed in that moment for Sesshomaru to come and rescue her, terrified they would behave like the Samurai of this time. She was bound, she couldn't fight back. Her arms were tied behind her back, they tied her legs together. Her breasts were exposed, her apex.

She had walked the confines of their garden naked many times because her lover like to gaze at her body, but she had never been like this in front of others. Unless she counted Kohaku. He had parted her kimono the first time, he had found her apex with firm fingers that made her flinch.

She flushed red, staring in their eyes. There were twenty monks in the cave that she had counted so far. The first thing they did, was slice her hair off at the nape of her neck, cutting into her skin at the same time. She hissed in pain. "It doesn't have to be like this Rin-sama," the head monk taunted her, flipping a knife in around in his hands."

_That's what they all say, _she closed her eyes and as Sesshomaru and Hisato taught her, she breathed in the pain. The pain of the whip, the pain of the cuts, the pin of a shattered ankle, until the cave was thick with her screams. They echoed off the walls until she didn't know where she began and the screaming ended. _You can scream, but do not speak, _Sesshomaru had once told her. _Scream the pain out and breathe resilience in. I am with you, always remember that. If this ever happens, if we are parted, my strength is yours._

She called for her sword, but for the first time, it didn't respond. They sealed it behind a barrier, stopping her from connecting with his yoki. She reached deep inside herself, connecting with his yoki, but it wouldn't break the barrier and then she gave herself to the pain.

Now three days later, her face is swollen. She's strapped to a large rock, spread eagle, legs apart, baring her body to strangers, terrified of what of what they will do next. She goes in and out of consciousness, not sure where she is. The world is dark and then bright. She's hungry, she's thirsty. Her shoulder aches. The one that used to cause her pain for years flares each time she tries to move. A point rock cuts into her back. She hasn't seen Miroku in days, at least she thinks. A steady trickle of water beats at her cheeks and if she's lucky, drops onto her lips. _My love, _tears drip down her cheeks. _I can't help it, _she breathes, trying to get loose. _I need you…_

"You still won't speak?" another monk asks from the corners.

She glares, it's all she can do. She hates them with all her being. They aren't supposed to be like this. They are meant to emissaries of kindness, of trust and love, not torment and pain. This time he carries a mallet and stands by her knees.

She convinces herself not to beg for mercy, not to cry out. Even as the mallet raises and the head monk comes forward and asks her again. "Where is he?"

She shakes her head, refusing to speak. It doesn't matter. She knows he said goodbye to her when she was old and there was truth in his eyes. But then why did he say that she never approached him if Natsuki did. The thought leaves her as pain flashes through her knees, bones crunch together and break apart. Her sinews rip, the skin splits, blood spills down and before she can breathe or hear the world around her the other knee is shattered. "Say it! Where is he?" the monk bellows at her.

_My love…my love…please…please…find me…please! Taiyomaru…my little one…can hear me? It hurts. _"MY LOVE!" she howls for all to hear. "COME FOR ME!"

"No one will come for you. They are all dead," a Miko snickers from the darkness. "The time has come to speak."

She's in too much pain, she can't…it hurts…

Time turns into a fluid construct. The past is the present, the present is in the past. Something enters her mouth and the second she swallows it the world begins to spin. The top of the cave shifts, voices echo one off of the other. She sees color only, no shapes. The orange of the torches lighting the cave, the black of darkness, brown and then white and gold…white?

She blinks over and over, in so much pain she can't think straight. Something feels wrong, as her eyes focus on golden orbs, the face she was waiting for, the one she feared she might never see again. "Sesshomaru?" she croaks, to broken to get up.

"It's me, my heart," he whispers. "You have to come now. The monks are dead. I'm here." His lips touch hers, flooding her with a sense of warmth that blankets her body but doesn't touch her soul.

Her left arm is the only one that isn't broken. She reaches out to his chest, feeling the familiar cold of his armor, the spikes along the left shoulder and his face. His stripes and his moon. "Heal me?" she whispers.

"When we're home. We have to leave now." He picks her up. "The others are waiting."

"Wait, Miroku is here!" she cries out, not wanting to leave him behind, but as soon as the words leave her mouth, she knows something is wrong. "Who are you?"

"It's me," he says confused.

"It's not you. You are a trick."

"No my heart," the epitaph nearly breaks her. She knows that only he would call her that.

"Prove it."

"There's no time," he says, continuing to walk with her out of the cave and into the brilliant morning light. He rises into the air, leaving the earth behind. "We bonded when you were seventeen. We have three children together, Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru. Harutoga has white hair with a black streak down the left side. Yuki's hair is white and Taiyomaru looks like me but with black hair."

"And your son with her?"

"Natsuki," he says without emotion, "Tsukimaru."

Something still feels wrong. "Which shoulder was injured and by what?"

"The left one, by the bear demon, you took months to heal."

"Where did we make love the first time?"

"A hot springs, under a sakura tree, the same place we live now."

She sighed in relief, it was him, but then how was his body littered in fever? She touches his neck, his chin, so confused, in pain and still feeling like the world was spinning. "She reaches into the front of his kimono."

"What are you doing?"

"Where is it?"

"What?"

Her hands feel smooth flesh over the heart. The tips of the scar that marred his chest were always palpable just above his armor. Her eyes widen in fear, "you aren't him!" she wails in fear, swinging a violent fist at his nose. The impact jostles her in his arms, sending her plummeting for the ground. Death was preferable to leading whatever that was to her home.

The ground doesn't come fast enough. She feels something wrap it's arms around her and a flash of brown before it disappears and returns to a sea of silver hair.

She begins to shiver. The cave is cold and all she has is her skin to keep her warm. She sings, whether it's audible or not she doesn't know. "In the mountains or in the hills, in the valley or by the River, Sesshomaru I will wait for you. My love I will wait for you. Come to me scarred as you are with Camellias in your hands and a Sakura in your heart. Come to me on the breath of the wind with lilies in your hair, in the wake of the dream. Come to me my love."

They try again and again to trick her. The second time he comes he's still missing the scar and when he says their children's names and she asks about the fourth child. He can't answer. At times, she wonders what Sakura would have looked like had she lived. Would she have cat ears like Yuki and Harutoga, or pointed like Taiyomaru, maybe even shelled like her own. White hair or black? They didn't give up. Whatever they keep pouring down her throat gets stronger and stronger until she feels so drunk and out of body she doesn't feel them break her ankles, flay her back or hear them speak of her death. They will kill her and Miroku in the morning. No amount of pain they inflict upon the two has broken them.

She lives in her dreams, the ones where her lover comes to rescue her, baring the scar, knowing the pain of losing a child. He had held Sakura. Years later, he told her that he held the tiny body in his hands and cried over her lost soul. He kissed her bloodstained brow and although he said the servants buried her, he set her in the ground himself and watered the flowers with his tears. Sakura loomed over him as his first great failure, the child he couldn't protect. They kissed in that moment, they made love over her grave, burying the pain of his bonding Natsuki and swearing to live a new life together. He swore again that he would never seek her out for as long as Rin lived and that he was hers.

It was as if they healed the hurt. They spent five glorious years in peace before the disease came, before the outbreak of battles between the monks, mikos and youkai. They were together.

He was teaching Yuki more fighting skills, Taiyomaru was learning the sword and Harutoga had decided on two short blades like Hisato. When he came of age, he would switch to one and use the blade his father had made for him. They were happy in their home by the lilies.

A scream startles her out of her memories, back to reality. Another scream, a feral howl, and yoki, so much yoki. This time it isn't foreign, but what is, is the feral high pitched howls. He had lost control and he was coming for her.

**Please Review! Who's coming? Someone save Rin!**

**Coming Next:**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Nina-Present**

**Harutoga-Present**

**Responses:**

**Liz80Aguilar: **Hello! I know, I'm lazy. I need to finish uploading on AO3. I haven't had time to just sit down and do it. I had this account before AO3. I'm so glad you are enjoying this story!

**Smmahamazing: **I'm just gonna hit my head against the wall. I wanted to make the Nina chapters lighter to offset the Dark of the Past chapters, but if I'm making you cry...well I failed.

**Mechine:** Yep, he wants Nina to have a life. She's 15 and he knows it's not right to interfere with her childhood. Not to mention...she's 15 and not capable of consent at this point.

**Guest#1:** Okay...

**Guest#2 and I think Harukasempai13:** Yeah...I agree Sesshomaru loves all his children, but there is definitely some perceived favorite. Taka was his comfort and was never caught up in pain like the others. Taisho's life basically was put on hold. It was his choice, he wouldn't abandon his family. I dunno if he's a virgin. He's a man and probably had some fun. LOL When I was writing this there were so many different views I could have written from, but then it would be soooo many words long.

**New Reader:** Yep, she got to lost memories. Who knows if she'll understand Rin's motivations. It's different watching what happens compared to being the one it's happening too and Nina is young. So I guess we shall see.

**Luin-Fanel:** Yep, Lost Memories. She's getting those memories now and not really understanding them. Your son has an egg? How's it going? I remember when we got robot babies as lessons about parenthood LOL.


	84. Sesshomaru-Past XV

**Hurrah...I love this chapter. When I was writing it, I remembered thinking, yes finally! Another epic battle scene! **

**But whilst writing it, every two seconds I was interrupted. So I hope it's epic, because distractions do not help write stories LOL.**

**So voting on Feudal Connection is Nov 1-15th about. Nominating is over and now they give about 2 weeks for you to read the stories nominated. So if you want us to win Best Dark, I'd be cool with that :). Again I don't expect to win. SessRin usually doesn't. **

**Recap: There's an army coming down on Sesshomaru's home. They've just figured out what the cure is. Can they survive?**

**Sesshomaru- Past**

Kohaku catches Sesshomaru under the arm. Hefting him up, he takes the dog demon's weight. "Which one is your room?"

"Down…the…hall.." Sesshomaru pants. He hears _her_. She screams for him to come. Her body aches, she's bleeding. "How many?" He needs to hear it again.

Kohaku is far from a boy now. He's over forty with hair down to his waist, eyes ringed with age and streaks of grey in his hair. "One hundred in total. There could be more. That's how many we counted two days ago." He twists around the corner of Sesshomaru's room and brings the youkai back to his bed.

"Do I have your allegiance Kohaku?" Sesshomaru grits his teeth as he lays down.

"You have mine but not my men. They are split between whether Youkai have the right to live or should die. I was only able to convince five to come."

Sesshomaru falls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. His body aches and his skin is hot.

"How many can fight?"

Sesshomaru glances at his children, wondering how quickly Tsukimaru's blood would heal him them enough to fight.

His eyes fall on Yuki in particular. Once when she was five she had a tantrum and pinned Atsuko to the ground. She severed the maid's flesh in rage. It was a childish action but one she none-the-less committed. He brought her back to her room and made her promise to never kill humans, no matter how vile. But now he would tell her the opposite, to slaughter those around her. There were only a hundred. He considers who else would be strong enough to fight, but then his mouth dries out. In one of his books it listed how much blood was in the human body and if they lost too much they would die. The same would hold true for Tsukimaru. He rubs his head furiously. He can only revive so many. Refusing the others even part of the cure means sentencing them to death. _Why must I make these choices?_

And behind all of that, she was sending for him, begging him to stop her pain. They had her, the monks had caught her. He warned her not to leave the barrier, not for anything. Not even Bukoseno.

"Sesshomaru-sama how many can fight?" Kohaku pushes him again.

"The children, Natsuki, Shippo if we can drag him up, Jaken and Koga."

"And me," Katsumoto crawls on his elbows into the room. "If there's a battle…I swore…I will protect the children. Sato too. That makes eight of us, versus a hundred of them and…six humans."

"How long until they come upon my home?" Sesshomaru asks Kohaku.

"Half a day at most," Kohaku exhales heavily. "Everyone here is so sick. How can they fight?"

"We will fight," Sesshomaru says resolutely just as Natsuki enters his room like a windfall.

She holds Tsukimaru. The baby squirms to get out of her hands and into his father's arms. Sesshomaru's stomach clenches, knowing what he must do. There's no time to turn this into a science, to see how much he can drain before he kills his own child or find out how long it will take for the baby to regenerate what is lost. Taking an empty bowl from next to the bed, Sesshomaru forces down Rin's yearning behind a wall, forcing himself to not feel her sorrow and fear, abandoning her to torture. He blinds himself to the cries of the baby in his arms after he slices open Tsukimaru's wrist and holds it over the bowl. When the blood stops, he cuts again.

He will be as he was before he met Rin, cold calculating, lost.

Tsukimaru screams until his face turns red. Until the cries turn into howls. Until his skin turns into fur and he develops a snout that rips at Sesshomaru's wrist. There's no time for mercy, no time to think, only life. There are at least a hundred hanyou and youkai and some in between that are struggling for life behind the barrier. He releases Tsukimaru into his mother's waiting hands, loathing everything he has become to survive. Everything humans have forced him to do.

If he leaves to rescue to Rin, Yuki, Harutoga, Natsuki and Tsukimaru will be murdered. He glances at Natsuki, hating himself for making this choice and hating Natsuki for putting him in this position. He swore when Rin fought the Ogre King that he would stop saving her at the risk of his own life, but he also swore to Rin to protect their children, but which child?

Taiyomaru is with Rin. Yuki and Harutoga with him. He slays his own heart, shatters his emotions as if Rin never existed for that is what he must do to live. To ensure his children survive.

"We must drink this. Kohaku, help me with the children." Sesshomaru drinks first, letting the velvet liquid enter his mouth, slide down his throat and gurgle within his belly. He takes a bottle, filling it with half of the blood from the bowl. He hands it to Kohaku to give to Katsumoto, Sato, Shippo and Jaken, while he uses the bowl to let Harutoga, Yuki and Shiori drink.

A barrier made of reiki won't stop them from entering but Shiori's barrier made from yoki will keep them out long enough for Tsukimaru's blood to lessen the fever. Cold from the halberd will make it painful for the platoon approaching his home to fight effectively. There's hope, even if it's small.

He lifts the little bat hanyou up by the shoulders. "Drink," he urges her. "Drink little one. I need your strength." She opens her mouth weakly, coughing and gagging.

He can't look at Tsukimaru. He's betrayed his son, causing unnecessary pain. Everything a father is not meant to do. "What are you planning?" Natsuki shushes Tsukimaru. Under her breath he can hear her telling the boy that dai-youkai don't cry, that he must be strong and that now is not the time.

"We fight. This one will raise a barrier to protect the village. Katsumoto will wield the halberd. You and I will transform. And these two," he can't believe what he is going to ask his children to do, "they will flank them. Get behind the platoon and slaughter them. Even if they are purified they will continue in human form. My children can fight with or without their yoki." He had never allowed them to be so weak as to not learn the forms of battle as humans.

"This is suicide Sesshomaru," Natsuki denies him. "We cannot survive."

"IT'S SUICIDE TO DO NOTHING!" he bellows, trying to convince himself that 100 humans can't present a threat, no matter how strong their reiki is. They will prevail. "Bring the others to my study."

The effects of Tsukimaru's blood take slowly. First they shiver and shake, as if some foreign power has entered their body. Sesshomaru sent Kohaku's men to gauge how much time he had left and bring back a more accurate account of how many were descending on his home. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru gathers what troops he can. He instructs Atsuko to wait until sunrise and then bleed Tsukimaru, giving first to Nobuatsu and then five more.

Nobuatsu refuses to flee. "After the battle…" he nods off and then comes to again, "you will need me by your side. We are healers at heart Sesshomaru-sama. Not killers."

_Healer…_the word sounds like poison for now he will become the killer he was always meant to be.

Harutoga's eyes open slowly, covered with crust and sleep. "Get up," he tells them firmly. Hauling all three children onto his back.

"What's going on Chichiue?" Harutoga asks, sleepily hanging onto his father's shoulders.

"A battle is coming. They found our home," Sesshomaru replies tacitly. He sets them down in his study, shocked to see that Sayako has joined them, so have Sota and Taisho.

"We stand with you Ojisama," Sota says proudly.

Sesshomaru nods his head, heartened that his nephews would risk their lives for him.

"How do you expect to win?" Sato shifts his weight against the wall. He's slumped over, holding his stomach. "Whatever you gave us, the effects of this disease aren't wearing off fast enough."

Sesshomaru glances at his own body. The blisters have changed in color but not diminished. He still feels weak and light headed. It doesn't matter. There are lives here, many left to be saved. "We will not falter," he says firmly, refusing to sit. He forces himself to stay upright, a show of pride, of who he is. Lord of the Middle Lands, son of the Dog General, brother of Inuyasha. It will end here.

"I still feel like throwing up," Shippo moans from the corner of the study. "How are we going to fight a hundred? We're not strong enough. None of us are."

"We are," Sesshomaru says firmly. He grabs a map of his lands and rolls it out in front of the circle of sick demons. "We have the advantage. We have the cold. Katsumoto will make a winter colder than any have felt before. We have the high ground. The village rests on top of a hill. They expect to come here and find us sick and already dying. If this is our end," he stares proudly at Sayako who has fought death for years, whose breath is labored, "we will make it an end to remember. Our blood will soak this ground, leaving behind a legacy. We will not go quietly. That is what they wanted from the start, ten years ago when they stole my brother's life. If the grave is our destiny, the Monks, the Mikos will join us. We will bathe in their blood and eat their hearts."

He lays out pins, marking off the location of the monks and the likely trail they will take. "We fight in pairs. Natsuki and I. Katsumoto and Sato. Taisho and Sota. Koga and Sayako. Jaken and Shippo."

"Great, now I know I'm going to die," Shippo rolls his eyes.

"Why must I be stuck with the weakest of them all?" Jaken snipes away. "I should be Sesshomaru-sama's side."

"So you can die in his wake?" Sato cackles and then starts wheezing and coughing.

"You two will be decoys," Sesshomaru tells Shippo, "great things come in small packages."

"And you," he towers over the little bat hanyou, "you will protect us all, for as long as you can. The reiki barrier will come down and you will erect your own, guarding the village."

Shiori swallows nervously, but nods her head firmly.

"And us Chichiue?" Yuki asks, half asleep on her side. Her skin is still prickled with fever. Sweat drips down her brow. "I don't feel up to this."

"It doesn't matter my little one. We fight to live or die like dogs," Sesshomaru says with resolve. "You and Harutoga will sneak around the back with Taisho and Sota. Taisho, mask their yoki until they reach the flank and kill them. We box them in. They're approaching from the river." He sets more pins out. "Shippo and Jaken, you will approach them head on. Jaken raze the forest around our home. Katsumoto will bring the rains to stop it from damaging our crops and fields. Shippo, draw them in. Sayako and Koga will attack from the east, Katsumoto and Sato from the West and from the front, Natsuki and I."

"How will we get away fast enough? I can barely walk!" Jaken whines nervously.

"The Kitsune will transform," Sesshomaru replies as if it's blatant.

"But I don't know how!" Shippo yelps nervously.

"You'll learn," Koga encourages him. "I don't have enough energy like this. Sayako?"

"Just get me to the Eastern side of the hill. I'll make it," she says confidently. "We all will."

"Who will care for Tsukimaru?" Natsuki asks. She's been quietly standing in the corner of the room.

"I'll do it. I can hold the barrier and keep him safe at the same time," Shiori volunteers and then winces. "What about everyone else? What if we can't stop them?"

"We will," Sesshomaru stares out the window. The sun is rising, lighting the world. "I know what the cure is now." He glances at Tsukimaru, but decides in that moment to not say from where. Saying will make his son a target. "We've been given half of it. When Rin returns," _hold on my heart…I can't come now. _"We will have the rest." A part of him breaks inside. She's quiet and he doesn't know why. He touches his heart, testing his bond, relieved to find it still intact. _Did they stop? _Wasn't it enough that they were attacking his home, they had to attack his lover as well? _Taiyomaru…my little one. Are you okay? _Closing his eyes, he breathes deeply. "We will survive. We will not give them the satisfaction of our deaths. Even weakened we are stronger than the hundred that are coming to our home. We will end their lives."

"Chichiue you made me promise not to kill humans!" Yuki protests. Her eyes are big and wide in shock.

"Unless they are here to kill you. For ten years we have suffered at their hands. We faced death and torture. We have watched those we love and care about die. It ends here. We will show this force and any other that we will not leave these lands. We will not perish like the animals like they want us to. We will fight. No matter the cost."

"What if we die?" Harutoga asks with dimmed eyes. So dimmed that even the gold one looks like the brown one.

Sesshomaru lowers himself on one knee in front of his son. "Listen to me, my son, does it matter by whose hands we are taken? The disease? The army? We fight. You kill them." He goes to his desk and removes knives, giving two to each child, even Shiori. "They purify you, slaughter them. Even human, you are faster and more courageous than they are. And when we prevail and we will," he rises from the ground, "I will bring the rest of the cure back to us."

Time is running short. He draws lines on the map, telling Taisho and Sota where to take his children to hide so they can ambush the back line. Taisho is sent back to the cave to retrieve and hide the black stone that channels the villages barrier.

Sesshomaru takes Shiori into the room with all the children. "These ones are yours to protect," he tells her softly. "Make a barrier as large as you can and hold it, no matter the strain you feel."

Shiori nods, smelling of nerves.

"You can do it. I believe in you," he strengthens her with his words. "You can do it. Believe in yourself."

He returns to Shippo who is being forced to transform from his humanoid form to a small fox over and over. He can't hold it, and each time he tries, his brow covers in sweat, twice he vomits blood.

Sesshomaru snorts, letting the coldness of who he must become to win this wash over him. "Hold it Shippo. Find the fire within yourself. Do not fear it. Let it course through your veins. Again!"

The kit's eyes close, cheeks still flushed with fever clench and he becomes a fox again. "Shred their bellies," speaking coldly, he walks away from Shippo and approaches Natsuki.

Sayako can finally stand but only barely. She leans heavily on Koga, holding her side. Kneeling in front of her, Sesshomaru checks the bandages on Sayako's feet. He rips new cloth from his clothes, arching his back as cold air rushes over them and he can see his breath.

In the distance, Katsumoto has the halberd in his hand. Unlike before, when it remained in the stone, encasing it like a prize, Katsumoto bears it in his hand. He comes forward, kneeling to Sesshomaru. "I don't like that you sent the children alone. I swore to protect them."

"They will survive," he says forcefully, fooling himself into believing his own lie.

"And if they don't?"

Golden eyes, connect with the younger demon. "They will. You and Sato will hold the line."

"We will hold the line," Sato limps, coughing as he speaks. He leans heavily on a large branch, carved into a walking staff. "One hundred…if I were healed completely, if we all were, even a hundred would be no match."

But they aren't and Sesshomaru knows they have no choice but to fight, so he beats down Rin's screams, the feeling of her bones breaking, the instinctual desire to rescue her. He falters when he feels her relaxed, feels a pulsing love, but he forces that down too and her fear. She's so scared. He clenches his chest, moving forward and takes Natsuki by the hand. Behind him Kohaku follows, eyes cold. "She is also mine," Sesshomaru tells him.

"You made a promise," Kohaku reminds him.

Sesshomaru turns around, glaring at Kohaku, purposefully picking up Natsuki's slender fingers and bringing them to his lips. He's so tired. Tired of the lies, of spurning one while giving to the other. "And without her I would be dead," he speaks coolly and continues moving forward.

A howl from the East lets him know that Katsumoto and Sato are in position. The air changes again, from cold to biting, even he can feel it. Whistles in the West alerts him that Sayako and Koga have found their positions.

"How many Kohaku?" Sesshomaru stops at the top of the hill. He can see them in the distance, the monks and the mikos. The front and middle lines are on horseback.

"The second count was a hundred and seventy-five," Kohaku answers grimly. He motions his men forward, the five he could convince to fight by their side.

Sesshomaru swallows hard, gripping Natsuki's hand. In the distance he can see Shippo and Jaken, moving forward, arguing with each other. "Wait," Sesshomaru breathes out.

"Can they do it? Shippo is just a child and Jaken is…well Jaken." Natsuki wraps an arm around Sesshomaru's waist. He feels the heat of her yoki enter his body, the gentle waters of comfort and strength. "Save your strength."

He returns the feeling, giving into what he has buried for years. It isn't love, but it's what he needs. To know that they will survive, that there is reason to hope.

The smoke starts, the summer leaves begin to burn. Jaken wails because as usual, he's lost control of the flame. Screams of men and women fill the skies. Shippo carves paths through the horde of monks and mikos, taking them out by the legs. The horses shriek in pain, falling on their sides. "Wait," Sesshomaru tells the five archers behind him.

A barrier flies up around the monks and mikos, hardened with reiki, mixes of blue and purple, swirling. Shippo and Jaken flee, heading for Sesshomaru.

A half grin, the one he used to smirk when he was about to murder in cold blood graces Sesshomaru's lips. He unsheathes Bakusaiga and begins his advance. "Wait." He stalks forward, ready to meet the horde. The sword that can kill a thousand in one stroke, he will use to break their defenses.

Jaken and Shippo collapse by his feet, panting, trying to catch their breath. "Go back to the house," Natsuki tells them. "We'll take it from here." Her eyes pitch red, widen and then she leaps into the air, twisting and turning until she lands behind Sesshomaru as a large white dog. She trips on the last step. Sesshomaru reaches out to steady her, stroking the fur of her shoulder. "Sweet one, I am not done with you yet." He pulls her muzzle to his face, touching their crescent moons. "Now is not the time to die."

She groans against him, in pain. Her feet are still tender from blisters. Strands of fur are reddened around the base of her paws. He gives her the strength they need to survive, to fight back.

The entire time, Kohaku glares, his face hardens, making it look even more wrinkled and old. "You think she would have been happier with you," Sesshomaru flicks his tongue against his fangs. "She would have been settling."

"Maybe that would be better," Kohaku growls out. "Bows."

"Wait," Sesshomaru commands again, deep and firm. "On my command."

He meets the horde head on. Stalking forward proudly. He flips Bakusaiga in his hand, ready to use its full force to break the barrier. Natsuki comes behind him, limping on her front paws. _Oh this hurts._

_Take the pain, _Sesshomaru rebukes her.

_Do you tell your lover that?_

_I didn't have to. She will always be stronger than you. _He leaves the archers to hide behind the trees, confronting the head Miko. "Sesshomaru. So you live."

His fingers sweat against Bakusaiga. "Leave and you will be allowed to live."

She laughs and so do the ones in front of her. "Did you think that we would allow you to live. You are the last in these lands. It's time to let go and move on."

"Leave," he growls out, his sword begins to spark with energy.

"I wouldn't do that," the Miko taunts him, "there are enough of us here to bind that sword and you too."

"Are there enough of you to fight my army?" Sesshomaru grins.

"What army?" a monk asks, looking around. "I see no one."

Words are no longer necessary. Bakusaiga sparks green. He sends a bolt of green lightning flashing at the purple crystalline barrier. It crackles against it. "NOW!" he calls to Kohaku. A few, that's all he needs, just a few to fall and the barrier will break.

The green energy runs over the barrier like an electric ocean. Arrows are released from behind him. They whistle through the air, piercing the chest of several monks and two mikos. "Last warning," he grits his teeth, forcing his yoki through his blade, blinding himself, giving into rage and the need to save his children. The barrier must fall if Yuki, Harutoga and Tsukimaru are to live. "Bakusaiga!" he rallies, calling on the full energy of his blade.

The call of Bakusaiga is met with a high pitched battle cry. Yuki's voice rises high. All scent of her yoki is gone, it's followed by another that he knows is Harutoga. _They forced their way through the barrier._

Another volley of arrows goes into the crowd, breaking the ranks, sending more bodies to the ground. The barrier snaps. Sayako and Koga come from the East, transformed with a pack of wolves following behind them. The brown and silver animals leap into the air and tear out the necks of the side. "Natsuki!" he shouts at the white dog to move forward. She flies into the middle of the throng and begins beheading.

Katsumoto comes from the West with Sato on his back. Sato's face is hardened, his teeth clenched. He leaps from Katsumoto's back. The black transformed dog demon leaps into the fray, biting and gnashing. He rips the limbs off the first set of monks.

"Hold the line!" a Miko screams.

Sesshomaru throws his left arm out, taking her head with a whip. He sends it again into three more then falls to his knees, puking blood. In that moment of weakness, an arrow shoots through his gut, two more through his shoulders and one in his knee. He howls in rage and fear. Behind him he can smell his children. Yuki and Harutoga, forced to kill when they should be running through these hills playing.

He lets rage take him, transforming, becoming his true self, the white dog. These are his lands, his home and he will not give them the satisfaction of his death. He rips the arrows from his body and begins crushing the monks and mikos around him.

They can't keep up with the demons attacking them. Their reiki rises, threatening to bind Sato. Sesshomaru slams his head into the circle forming around Sato, breaking it. Next he sees Yuki and Harutoga already bound in circles, just as twenty more come crashing down on him and Natsuki. He glances back and forth between his children and the ones coming to bind him. She pushes him in the shoulder with her muzzle. _Go! They're your children. Go!_

He nods and flies into the air, only to be shot with ten arrows in the belly. The purifying energy burns his skin, singes his fur, sends him back to the earth. He watches helplessly as swords are raised to Yuki and Harutoga's necks. Harutoga struggles to loose himself, shaking his hands back and forth, swinging his green whips wildly in the air, taking arms and legs off.

Sesshomaru lands on his side, slamming into the earth. He lands back first against a boulder feeling one of his bones break. Blood drips from his belly, his nose. He can feel the power of the arrows binding him, casting him into darkness. He coughs up blood and spews again. He can't get to his children. A blade is under Yuki's neck.

His eyes dart around, searching for someone, anyone close enough to stop the dagger from killing his daughter. _Yuki!_

Out of the throng, Katsumoto arises, hacking the hand off that holds the knife. He grabs the children and flies them into the trees, sending them to escape. When he returns it's in human form, with glowing eyes. A whirlwind picks up around him, the skies darken, they crack with lightning and thunder. Blades of lightning fall from the sky, the air freezes around them, ice covers the humans feet.

Sesshomaru howls in triumph, forcing his body off the ground for one last fight. He takes the head of the miko in the circle trying to fell him. He smashes two more monks, throws five off of Natsuki's body and spits their insides out.

"Retreat!" a human voice calls. "Retreat! This isn't the end, Mononoke!"

He stands proud, forcing sore muscles and aching feet to remain upright. He fights an internal battle, all these lives lost, the people killed. He could reverse them all, give them their lives back, but would they do the same? Would it tip the scales and leave them in peace?

He can't hold the thought. Black speckles fill his vision. His body feels weak. He can't stay upright. He falls on his side, giving into weakness, giving into the pain, into the disease. _My heart..._

**Please review! Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers. You all are the best! **

**Coming Next: Taiyomaru-Past**

**Kagome-Past**

**Nina-Past**

**Harutoga-Present**

**Responses!**

**Mechine: **I hope she can heal from them. I think this chapter sums up what he had to do to himself in order to survive. Rip himself in half.

**liz80aguilar:** I love fanfiction too. Although I've been reading more books from the library as of late. As you can see, he feels her pain, but he had an army come on his doorstep and then passed out. More to come.

**Guest#1:** Thank you! I'm so glad you love this story I'm trying to get back to Tue/Thurs posts, but inevitably life gets in the way. Glad you are enjoying.

**New Fan:** Sess was sick and could barely move. That's why he didn't rush to Rin and when he realized what was happening Kohaku came and told him he had 100 monks and mikos marching down to kill him and his children. If he left his kids would die. If he didn't Rin and Taiyomaru might die. There was no black and white choice to make. You shall see what happens.

**Vilbern:** I told you it was angst. LOL angst is fun to write. Now you see why everyone was so happy with Fire and Ice. My attempt at being "light".

**Luin-Fanel:** Sess is furious but there isn't a lot he can do about it right now. I mean more now that the battle is over but the next chapter will answer questions. Your response about the egg makes me laugh. Did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer? There is an episode where they get eggs and Buffy is sooo upset she's a single mom. She's like why didn't anyone think of me? I did watch Yashahime. I'm well...I'm going to wait until all the episodes are up and watch it. And then form an opinion based off of that. That's all I am going to say.

**HarukaSempai:** I agree. It sucks to be tortured like that. But she didn't give in. Go my girl! Yes! The demons never tried to commit genocide. For the most part besides rogues, they all lived amongst themselves. Yuki has a heart, she's just a bitch. LOL. I've never been sold on the idea that Sessrin kids would be well behaved. In Japanese Sess is a jerk to all around him. He uses the lowest forms of addressing people. So Yuki is more like him but female. You shall find out if Taka and Katsumoto reproduce later.

**New Reader: **See I earned that best Dark Nomination. LOL! I'll take it. I know this story is dark and angsty. All your questions will be answered in time.


	85. Taiyomaru-past IIIKagome-Past XII

**Another chapter! LOL...Seriously I wanted to get this all posted before Yashahime came out, but that didn't happen. I still have to catch it up on Ao3. But here we are.**

**So everyone has been asking me what I think of Yashahime. After the third episode, well...I learned that Kaede raised Setsuna for a bit and that Sesshomaru kinda sucks as a father. But let's be honest, I never had high hopes for him as a father. This is sessypants we're talking about. The same guy who tried to murder his own brother for years...who's dad probably did a shit job raising him or he wouldn't have felt so slighted by Inuyasha. **

**Head Canon: Jaken started the fire fighting something off causing the twins separation. Sess feels like a shit dad for losing Towa so he sent Setsuna away too. **

**Recap: Rin was taken by the monks. They tortured her to find Sesshomaru's whereabouts. She heard howling before she lost consciousness. **

**Taiyomaru-past**

He felt sick for a day after Obasan purified him. It hurt and burned his skin, almost like his soul was being seared from the inside out. Then it stopped and his belly ached, but he couldn't tell her. He was too worried about his mother. For days he tracked them.

Obasan said he was their only hope of finding them quickly.

Ka-san was bleeding. He could smell it that first day. He followed the tracks, just like Chichiue had taught him. The monks were clumsy. They walked with heavy footfalls, breaking branches, leaves and crushing the foliage of the dark forest. In some places he found drops of Miroku's blood.

Inside he felt like he was fighting to stay himself, to be a boy and not a monster. With each step closer, and each passing day, he felt more and more of himself slipping away.

Until the fourth morning when he finds his mother's scent is the strongest and can finally sense her bond again. She's terrified and in so much pain. She's screaming. Filling the air with her cries. Deep within himself, he can hear her calling for him. For Chichiue, begging them to come, to rescue her.

He feels every broken bone as if they're his own, each burn, the bruises, the impact of the mallet against her knees. "Ka-san!" he screams and flees from Kagome and Sango.

"No Taiyomaru! Wait!" Kagome calls.

But he can't. They aren't fast enough and if he doesn't go now, Ka-san will be killed. They're killing her. They're taking his mother from him. He won't let her die.

Chichiue once told him long ago that Tenseiga wouldn't work on Ka-san because it had been used once before. If they ever found the meido stone, neither would that, because it had been used too. So he runs, hunting, leaping from branch to branch. Swinging high into the skies. Letting his eyes glaze red, he bares his teeth and then flies into the air, shooting towards his mother.

He won't leave her to pain and torture. He howls in rage, in a fury so deep it hardens his soul and steals his innocence. _Not Ka-san._

Taiyomaru finds them in a cave. He doesn't give the monks time to recognize his yoki, to see the threat he poses. There are things he can do that his brother and sister can't. He has dokkasu like Yuki, whips like Taiyomaru and a connection so deep to his parents their pain becomes his.

He slams both hands down on the cave floors, sending a cloud of dokkasu, to choke and disperse them. Next he slashes into the ankles, rips the feet off and then flies into the air like a helicopter taking heads.

While he spins, green whips leave Taiyomaru's once innocent hands, slicing and hacking into the monks. They fall before they have a chance to call their holy power against him.

"Taiyomaru?" he hears a voice he should recognize but doesn't.

He snarls at the figure holding a Khakkhara. His top lip trembles as he approaches him. He'll end his life too. He cracks his claws, ready to slaughter him. "Taiyomaru, stop! It's Miroku!"

A part of him knows he should recognize this voice, that he spent the last few weeks listening to him tell stories of days in the past when Ojisan fought against the hanyou Naraku.

A blue barrier is raised around Miroku. Taiyomaru attacks, attempting to break through. He snarls, beating at it, thrusting his claws at Miroku. "Dammit!" Miroku can do nothing more than hold the barrier. His legs are twisted funny, his blood makes Taiyomaru howl. "Your mother needs you!"

Mid-strike, Taiyomaru stops and sniffs the air. "Ka-san?" His eyes change back from red and blue to brown. He runs in the direction of her scent. Down another corridor until he finds her bound to a rock, screaming in pain through clenched teeth. "Ka-san!"

"What is this?" a monk asks.

Taiyomaru screams and attacks, hacking into the shoulder of the first one and then the stomach of the second one guarding her. He slams their heads together, knocking them out and then leaps on the stone holding his mother.

She screams as he slashes through the bonds holding her. He searches for something to cover her naked body. Unable to find it, he lets his yoki rise, searching her body. It's too much, she's hurt too badly. "I can't fix it...I can't fix you." He sobs wiping his eyes, telling himself to stop crying, to pull himself together. To finish this, to heal his mother.

His fingers shake along her stomach. Once Chichiue realized that Taiyomaru could heal ones that shared his yoki, his family members, he taught him to heal what was most life threatening first. The heart, lungs and other things called organs in the stomach cavity.

He finds her bleeding heavily in her middle. Tears stream down the sides of her cheeks. She's battered from top to bottom. Bruises speckle her belly, her arms and her legs. Taiyomaru struggles to maintain the connection, stitching her insides back together.

"Taiyomaru?!" Miroku comes, limping, leaning heavily on his Shakujo. "They broke her legs. Mine too."

"I can't fix you...I can't fix her...I can't fix her...I don't have enough light. I need Chichiue, she needs Chichiue!" He's panicking. His hands are covered in blood. He stinks like the ones he killed. "I killed...Chichiue said not to. Ka-san said not to."

"Calm down," Miroku tries to approach him, but Taiyomaru throws a deadly clawed hand in the air.

"I CAN'T FIX HER!" he sobs, throwing himself on his mother's stomach. "Please, Ka-chan, please Ka, don't die, please! I need more light." He forces his yoki up in sickening amounts, until he feels it wash over him, crash against him, like he's being battered. He forces it into his mother's body, weaving her insides together, but it's still not enough to fix what's been done to her legs.

Miroku shakes his head and sits behind the boy. "We'll get her back to your father."

"KA-SAN! KA-SAN! KA-SAN!" he shrieks. "Please...don't die."

**Kagome-Past**

If it weren't for her nephew losing control of his yoki, Kagome wouldn't be able to track him. He shines like a beacon instead of keeping it masked.

Kagome jumps over twigs and sticks with Sango by her side. Together they run soft footed through the forest, up a hill-side, into the mountain that's off to the West. It slopes over them, almost as if it would fall on their heads. She races up the rocky clefts, searching for hand-holds and places where her feet won't slip.

"What I wouldn't give for a pair of hiking boots," she mutters as she reaches for the next hold. "Or Inuyasha." She smiles saying his name, almost like relief breathes over her.

Sango observes her curiously, making Kagome wonder what she said that was so interesting. "That was the first time you said his name," Sango kneels down, offering Kagome her hands to hoist her up a passage. "How did he get up here?"

"He's hanyou and he can fly, remember?" Kagome pulls herself up until she can see the mouth of a cave. "Up there. Taiyomaru's yoki is coming from there. Maybe it just hurt too much before."

"Maybe it's all your time with Sato," Sango pulls herself up more easily than Kagome but even she is winded. "I think we're both out of shape."

"We've done nothing but care for the ill for the last nine years." Kagome sneaks up the path, touching footprints in the ground. She fingers long grooves in the dirt and braces herself for the battle ahead. "I hate killing humans."

"Me too. But they leave us no choice. They'll purify her bond, and kill Miroku," Sango whispers.

They make it up the next bend. "Sato has only ever been a distraction. I care about him, but we don't love each other."

"Is that why the two of you have been?" Sango raises her eyebrows twice, making Kagome blush. "Not even married."

"I don't want to marry again. Not now. Kami Sango, first we have to make sure they survive this, that Rin and Sesshomaru, Sato, whoever is left." Kagome reaches for the next hold to climb to the mouth of the cave only for her hand to slip on a warm, wet substance. "Kami-sama," she breathes out.

They back away enough on the ledge to see bloodied bodies strewn on the rock faces. With torn clothing, the bodies stare at the sky, mouths agape, eyes bulging. Shivers rack Kagome's body. She takes a deep breath and then heaves down the mountain side, throwing up the sweet rice she ate earlier. "Taiyomaru-kun," she coughs out and vomits again.

"He did this," Sango states matter of fact. There's no mistaking the claw marks, the tattered flesh, the hacked bones and missing limbs. It was the same they saw by Bukoseno. The child is holding on by a threat, but how frayed is that thread?

Sango leaps up the last steps and runs into the cave. Kagome has only seconds to pull herself together before she follows. She strips her off her tabi and sandals, throwing them aside and runs full force through the tunnel searching for her nephew. "Taiyomaru!" Kagome calls. "Taiyomaru!"

They run down one long shaft where the air is damp and dank. Slipping on moist rocks, it becomes so dark they can hardly see. "What I wouldn't give for a better sense of smell," Sango's voice shakes. She's been worried since Miroku's kidnapping, but there was no time to mourn or fall into anguish. She had to find him.

Closing her eyes, the miko concentrates on the aura surrounding her. She nearly jolts to the side when she feels an aura that she doesn't know. It's strong, too strong to be a hanyou but not Taiyomaru's. "We're not alone," Kagome twirls around and throws a pink ball of holy energy at the wall, just above the head of a crouching demon.

There are whip marks in his flesh, broken skin along his back. He's sweating, crouching in the dark. "Didn't want to do it. They made me do it. Didn't want to…" he repeats himself over and over again.

Sango raises Hiraikotsu, approaching cautiously. "Who are you?"

"AHHH!" he screams, refusing to meet their eye. "I didn't want to!" He looks half like a man, and half like an animal.

Kagome wrinkles her nose and moves closer, crouching down. She reaches out to touch the youkai's head only for a pop to be heard and him to fall on his face. "Forgive me Sango-san! Kagome-sama!"

The voice is so familiar a whine. Kagome's eyes dilate, her mouth dries out. "Hatchi-san?"

"Hatchi-san?" Sango rushes to her side and lifts up the once fat racoon demon's snout. He's so skinny and emaciated now. His fur that used to be pristine is knotted and dirty.

"They made me! I didn't want to!" Hatchi hollers in pain, covering his face with broken fingers.

"Oh Hatchi," Kagome whispers. "What happened here?"

"Her son came. They're all dead. I have nowhere to go," he wipes his eyes. "When the disease came I was going to leave, go West to China, but the monks found me. They used me to find and lead other youkai to them for extermination. I couldn't say no. They said they would infect me. Rin was the last piece…"

"Hatchi you didn't," Sango covers her mouth in denial.

"I did!" he shrieks a shameful cry. "They had my children. They said they had the cure to the disease and would make them better if they could find his house. The tree, he rumbled in the dark, talking about the sun and the moon that were gifted to the Dog Lord to save what was left."

"Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru," Kagome says, shaking her head.

"They're dead...my family, everyone! I...I didn't mean to!"

"Where's Rin?" Kagome begs him. "Where is she?"

Drowned in grief and guilt, Hatchi refuses to answer.

"Hatchi please, they have Miroku!" Sango argues, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Get it together! You led us here now help us find her!"

Tears pour from his eyes like a fountain, but he gulps down his pride and points down a dark passage. "They kept her down there. They made me...do things to her."

"Hatchi?" Sango warns him, pushing on him to lead her down the cave. She sparks a light from two rocks against dried wood, lighting their way. "Come on."

The passage is long and dark and soon filled with the mournful howls of Taiyomaru. "Taiyomaru!" Kagome shouts, racing over the last few feet and falling by his side.

Sango rushes for Miroku, holding his face in her hands. Miroku can't stand. His legs have been broken, his face battered. Sango sobs into his neck, while Kagome tends to Rin. Her eyes are swollen shut, her jaw can't move. Her legs have been crushed. She doesn't respond to Kagome's calls. "It's okay," Kagome tries to tell Taiyomaru.

"I can't heal her. It's too much. I need Chichiue...but he's...something's wrong!" Taiyomaru's screams, eyes bleeding red again. The air thickens with his yoki.

"STOP!" she cries, grabbing him around the shoulders, pulling him to her chest. Kagome raises a barrier around them, flooding the child's body with holy power. "Stop, you're going to hurt more people."

Taiyomaru screams in defiance and exhaustion. She can feel him fighting against her, not just muscles and a seven year old body that packs a greater punch than getting hit by a car, but the rising yoki, the yearning to kill. "Stop. Don't let it in. I know you're upset, I know it hurts seeing Ka-san like this but you can't! Your father needs you! Everyone needs you. Kami, Taiyomaru you were right. We should have listened. You have to stop."

"Him," Taiyomaru snarls at Hatchi. "You tried to be what you weren't. You made her sad and scared! I'll kill you!" he howls, feral and wild, losing all control.

"I'm sorry little one," Kagome let's her power rise that much higher, matching and drowning his. Taiyomaru cries in pain, his eyes turn red trying to fight it, then widen and shift to brown. His claws disappear, ears become shelled and he falls to his knees sobbing. "It's enough, Taiyomaru. You saved Ka-san. We have to get her home to Chichiue."

The ride home is peaceful. After a meal of venison and enough water for three men, Hatchi transforms and carries the troupe back towards Sesshomaru's home. The entire time, Kagome tends to Rin's wounds. They're so many she can't keep track. Sesshomaru in the future had taught her to set bones, but Rin's knees had been entirely smashed. It would be up to her lover to heal them and her face. "I can't believe they did this to her."

"She never told them where to find him," Miroku groans, laying back down. "Our Rin, after all this time. Remember when she came to us?"

Sango smiles, wiping her eyes. "She was so young and so innocent then. It doesn't seem fair that she's had to experience so much."

"She loves him," Kagome tries to bring a cup to Rin's clenched teeth. She moans, trying to turn her face away. "Shh, it's us. We have you. Remember all the times she ran away to find Sesshomaru-sama? All the times Inuyasha would have to bring her back? She used to play with Satsu in the streams by the village."

"It seems like a lifetime ago," Sango mutters, stroking Miroku's brow. "She was never happy there though. She accepted that that was her place, but had he not gone after her, after the snake demons, she would have left. They're lucky to be so in love. Even with everything they've experienced."

"You really think that? After Natsuki tore them apart? Even though she's lived in their home?" Kagome wonders, as she cleans out gashes on Rin's stomach.

"It isn't Natsuki's fault," Taiyomaru whispers with knees folded up to his chin. He's hanyou again with long ears and black hair. "If she hadn't come, Chichiue would be dead already. They kept each other alive, sharing their light. Ka-san knew. Even if it made her heart hurt. It was better than him being dead."

Kagome stares off into the night sky, watching the stars and the moon. They would be home soon. From the dark she hears a calling, "Ka-san! Ka-san!" She thinks she's dreaming, that she's making it up, that it's all in her mind. Until she leans over the side of Hatchi and sees them.

**Please review! Sees who? **

**I haven't been reading a ton of fanfic right now. Animemadness101 on Wattpad updated her Thor and Legolas stories. They're OC inserts into the LOTR and Avengers Universe and are really cool. Other than that, I'm almost done binge reading all of Kathy Reichs works.**

**I'm considering writing a Hanna/Inuyasha crossover. Really Yashahime but there's no Yashahime option on FFN right now. So it might just be poorly labeled. I also have a Handmaid's Tale crossover idea. Muwahahaha.**

**Coming next: **

**Nina-Present**

**Harutoga-Present**

**Izayoi-Present**

**Sesshomaru-Present**

**Respones:**

**Mechine: **Yeah I had fun writing the epic battle scene. I think Sesshomaru is just tired of judgment for his actions. In order to survive Natuski needed to be close to him. And he's sick on may die and well...he just doesn't care what other people think. Your questions shall have answers!

**Liz80Aguilar:** Kohaku will always love Rin. I've always thought if Sessrin doesn't happen in canon, KohRin should. They had very similar pasts and he seemed to be comfortable with her.

**Harukasempai:** He only felt her calling right before the monks and mikos came. The rest of the time she was traveling. He literally is so out of it in chapter 81 he gets confused what he is feeling, not knowing if it's her or his own emotions until Tsukimaru says even he can feel it. It would be fitting if he blamed only a class of humans, just like the humans should have only blamed a class of demons, instead of taking action against all of them.

**New Fan:** You'll find out what happens. So glad you are enjoying this series.

**Guest#1: **Okay. You'll be waiting for a while. Lots more to go.

**Guest#2:** Okay.

**New Reader:** The fuss about killing humans is that he doesn't want his children to lose their innocence and take human lives. So he sheltered them and then had to ask them to slaughter in return for the morals he tried to teach them.

**Responses: **


	86. Nina-Present VHarutoga-Present III

**I tried to post this on Thursday. I went through all the trouble of loading and responding to reviews and the damn thing errored out. At this point I should know to copy what I write just in case, but no...**

**My neighbor had an extremely scary emergency, so I was on hand to help their family. Sorry it meant not posting, but real life always comes first.**

**So I've had a few people ask what I think of Yashahime. I still am not entirely sure. I'm excited to see everything get stitched together, because right now, it's all all over the place. Remind you guys of anything? My favorite part right now is all my Sesshomaru Head Canons are coming true. Morally gray? Check. Questionable Father? Check. Questionable lover? Check. If it is Sessrin because nothing has been revealed, he kinda left her in her situation for the last 14 years. If it's not, he's still an ass...because he left her in her situation. And apparently he doesn't give a damn about what happened to Inuyasha or Kagome. So...yep...**

*****reminder we have been voted BEST DARK*** You can vote 11/1-11/15 on Tumblr Feudal connection for your favorite stories. Although I've been nom'd many times, I've never won. It's an honor but one I'm okay with not winning.**

**Recap: Future, Nina had a cochlear implant put in. Sesshomaru is keeping his distance. The two timelines are going to rapidly catch up. **

**Nina-Present**

_There's pain after getting my memories back. We were pregnant and the baby died. I'm angry with him for not being there, but I never told him that. He was gone all the time. We were fighting because it wasn't the life I wanted. Even if it was normal. I wanted more time with him. We weren't safe he said._

_The old woman I lived with once asked me what I wanted when I was a girl, because a local Lord had spotted me and was asking questions. She told him that I belonged to a Mononoke. I never wanted to be the wife of a Lord, to someone who was married to his sword, who would always leave me behind._

_I knew his brother attacking us had made him fearful, but his negligence made us lose our child. I wept at the Camellia petals but then he surprised me. For months we traveled together. We camped in the forests like when we first fell in love. We made love under the stars again, by the streams, beneath the moon._

_It assuaged the anger I felt because he was not there when I needed him the most._

_Then he convinced me to create another child. We flew home in the rain, the wind beating against us. I didn't want to, yet he pressured and pushed until I gave in. I did want another child. There was something different about that coupling and every one after. I felt his soul, his love, how complete it was. It reached the depths of his heart, bleeding into my soul from his._

_We did it. A short time later I told him we conceived when the vomiting began. Sickness filled me. I couldn't eat, I barely slept. I needed him with me. He came home more often. We lived in our love until the pains began. They shredded me. Cut me open, felt like my insides were tearing out._

_There was something wrong when he returned. He was cold, distant, yet loving. I couldn't think of it through the pain, I just wanted to birth this baby. I screamed his name as the baby came through me, splitting my vagina, and then I saw him. Black hair like mine, beautiful brown eyes._

I wake shaking in cold sweats, bolting upright, clutching my sheets. My hand travels between my legs, making sure that I haven't popped a baby out while I was asleep. It takes all my strength not to look for the sweet baby that I birthed in my dreams.

Lucy comes up to my stomach, and licks my fingers. I tell her about the dream. I used to think she would laugh at me. Her lips would stretch into a grin. This morning, they turned the cochlear on. I heard Hannah's voice for the first time. Eiji was there. His voice is soft like water and rings in my ears.

I emailed Dr. Rinata and told him I could hear again. Lucy's breath sounds like the wind, only in short notes. Eiji's breath against my neck is warm and sounds like the surface of a lake. It's almost like I know these sounds from my dreams. I don't quite understand what I hear yet. "Are you okay?" Eiji signs to me from the bed we've found ourselves in. He speaks now when he signs, telling me that I'll learn to recognize the spoken words soon.

_I'm fine, _I sign, lying. He once asked me where all the ideas for my stories came from. I told him my dreams, but lately it's more like they are nightmares. I don't understand how you can love someone so deeply and leave them behind. How you can want to be so close, and be so distant. Why was she so stupid? Why did she stay with him? Whoever she is, this woman that I dream of.

"You had another dream? You always wake up panicked when you have them."

I shrug again and curl back up against his chest. Hannah took me out for ice cream after the cochlear was turned on. We celebrated but after, once it got dark, Eiji took me to the beach and it's here that I've been asleep against him.

"Are you going to try speaking?"

I shrug again and open my mouth then close it. I've never spoken. Not as long as I can remember. I wait until I'm home, well past 1am. Hanna and Derek are upset with me for staying out so late. I promise them that Eiji and I aren't having sex, even though I've let him touch my breast, that I've felt him hard against my stomach when our bodies are close and that we're talking about doing more than making out.

Once I'm safe in my room, I begin writing this dream down, trying to compile it. The memories are so jumbled. In the beginning they were always happy, beautiful, like no one could love me the way he does. But now, the memories seem like they come in order and are on a timeline.

I've spent months going through them, ordering them, making them complete. Like there was a time, the other boy, the man that I had once been with, spoke to the old woman and asked for my hand. A part of me knew he would propose soon. Everything was becoming more intimate but in the back of my mind, I wondered, would _he _ever love me?

_Hands, they're on my body, but instead of soft and warm, they're coarse and rough. They run up my stomach, onto my breast and then down in between my legs. The middle finger slides between my lips. I roll my body against it, taking it in, welcoming the intrusion, feeling more like a woman than I had in the past._

_Moaning, I see who is touching me and that's not the one I thought should be. We are apart yet together, yet apart at the same time. And this man, his hair is longer now, down to his waist, tied in a tight tail. He grunts when I touch his shaft, but it feels unfamiliar, like someone else's heat. _

_Oceans of black hair and sorrow surround us. His wife died years before, never giving him children. He had loved by best friend who also died and yet, here he is, in my bed, between my legs, making me pant. I want him in my core, to clutch and clench him, but then we stop. I can't, it's too soon after...after what?_

_A woman dressed in fine robes flickers through my mind. Gold and maroon, wrap her body. A white silhouette, she tells me that he belongs to her now. God how could he do this to me? I gave him everything. My first everything, my hymen, my kiss, my love, children, a home and family and he fucked her behind my back and lied about it. How could he?_

Again I wake crying this time, feeling the pain as if it just happened, that he would take another despite his vow to me. I sob into my pillow while Lucy looks at me like I'm crazy. Trying to tell her what happened is futile. My dog pulls her paw away, as if she's telling me she doesn't want to hear it. I don't know why.

Blinking back tears, I write it all down, because as soon as I'm eighteen, I'm looking for a publisher. The world should know this crazy fucked up story. The demon who lives in Lover's Park is a lie. He didn't love his human, he despised her.

_You came! _I sign to Dr. Rinata in the audience. He signs back that of course he would come. Being a doctor, he remains in his patients' lives, he's also visiting his sister. He doesn't join my parents, rather he sits off the side alone. His hands come together when my name is announced. I climb the steps taking my diploma.

I'm eighteen now, alive and well, where before I was sure that I wouldn't live past fifteen.

There's a sadness around his eyes. Dr. Rinata always gets this wistful look when he looks at me. Like I remind him of something that once dug into his soul. San Francisco is known for its parks. I take him to my favorite one. One that Hannah started taking me to when I could see again. It has a fountain the center and high trees. We stop under my favorite one. It's bows are long and rough. Children climb them, laughing happily. _The first time I came here was after the procedure in Japan. I was amazed that bark was so rough but brown. I thought it would be darker, or that it was made from metal. Then Hanna brought me here. I climbed up to the highest branches and looked down, finally understanding what it means to feel like I could do anything._

He smiles, keeping his hands in his pockets.

_Your daughter isn't going to miss you?_

_No. She's coming home for the summer. We'll have plenty of time together._ He runs his fingers along my hair, touching the cochlear and tracing the lines. The action makes my skin tingle. I school my features. He has children my age, there's no way, but in the sunlight, he's not as pale as when I last saw him, neither is he thin and gaunt.

_Why did you send your daughter so far away for school?_

_It was what she wanted. _He signs so fluently, as if he's been doing it his whole life. _Sometimes, what seems cruel in the eyes of a child is a blessing._

_You think I'm still a child?_

_I think you still have much in life to live and learn about. Do you want to climb it? _He motions with his head to the tree. I'm certain he's lost his mind. _Come on. _He starts on the lower branches and easily hoists himself up and then motions with his head for me to follow him.

So I do. The entire time his ass is near my face and squeezed in suit pants. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen. Shaking my head, I force myself to stop looking, to stop thinking about him like that, but I am oddly pulled to him. I would be lying if I said I wasn't. There's an easiness to him, the way he speaks, his honesty. He lowers a hand down and for me to grab at the last branch and helps me sit with him.

It's a large branch, just above two kids swinging like monkeys. There's another limb next to us that I lean against, watching how the sun hits his face. Again it hits me that if I painted his cheeks magenta and a blue moon on his forehead, he would be the spirit in my dreams. _And your wife was okay sending your daughter so far away?_

_No. She wasn't._

_So you are married?_

He only sighs in response, making me wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. For me, it's a good thing, then I don't have to be so attracted to him. He's taken.

_I want to major in writing or teaching. I haven't decided yet._

_There's time._

_Why did you choose medicine? You have to be really smart for that?_

_Smart? _He laughs and leans against the trunk of the tree. _My first wife, _his eyes changes as he tells me about her, _was very different than I. So very different and it was she who encouraged me to find the healer inside. I did this for her._

_And the one now?_

_Is the reason I am alive. Without her, when I was sick, _his eyes become distant, lost as if they are trying to process something, _I would have died. She kept me alive._

I nod and sigh, watching the children carefree on the branches, feeling the wind in my hair and trying to understand how it seems one wife made him happy and the other didn't touch his heart nearly as deeply.

_You'll do well at whatever you decide to do, Nina. Writing, teaching._

_Love?_

_Even love. _Once again his eyes change, this time getting lighter instead of darker.

_I'm seeing someone, Eiji. I think I told you about him in one of my emails. He's a nice boy. He's from Japan like me only he was adopted._

_Do you love him?_

_I think I do._

_Then enjoy him. _His fingers become stiff and less fluid when he signs that, making me wonder if he isn't happy that I have found someone. Then his face contorts, as if something is wrong and he glances over his shoulder at a couple walking farther away. _I have to go now. It was good to see you again, Nina._

_You'll keep talking to me?_

_For always. You're my favorite patient._

Sparks beat my cheek when he kisses it goodbye, and cups my face. He rests his forehead against mine, sending chills of familiarity through me. Then he leaves, wishing me well.

That night Eiji and I find our way to the beach, to the cove that we've spent so much time in before. Our mouths meet, lips hungrily seeking out the other. I gasp when his hand comes up my back. "You're sure you want to do this?"

I nod and slide my shirt over my head, take off my skirt. Standing bare under the moonlight in my panties and bra, I approach him cautiously. We've talked about doing this forever. He once kissed me down there and I sucked on him until I tasted salt in my mouth, but we agreed, I want to feel him inside me, to know what it means to make love.

He lays me down on the soft quilt, sliding on top of me, parting my legs. I feel him poking through his boxers. The first time I touched him, he was hard and sticky in my hands. _You brought a condom?_

"Yes," he tells me. He kisses my neck, sucking on my skin. I feel his breath on my collar bone. He pulls down the shell of my bra. His mouth burns against my nipple. It's for this reason I left Lucy at home.

She once bit his ankle. The first time he touched my breast. I thought he would have a gash in his skin but it healed so quickly. He said it stung, but it's why I didn't bring her to the beach.

God it burns down there, between my legs. I'm hot and wet. I want more. I push his hand down, urging him to continue, to explore me. I hear myself moan into his neck when he touches my clit. I've never orgasmed, not even at night when I've touched myself.

I feel a sharp pulse of pleasure when his knuckles brush against me. His mouth comes back up to mine. Our tongues wrap around each other, lapping and licking.

Sitting up briefly, I take off my panties and my bra and lay down. He removes his boxers, thick and aroused. Touching him, he thrusts in my hand and groans against my neck.

The opposite hand runs through my hair and then he slides between my legs. I ask him if he'll suck on me, even though I know he doesn't really like to. I feel his mouth go lower and lower, sucking and nipping on my skin, my ribs, my navel and then he slides his face into my crotch.

It's messy, just like it was the last time he did it. It doesn't feel like it does in my dreams. I pull him back up, wanting to just feel it. We slide the condom on and then he smiles, pushing himself between my legs. I grip his back in anticipation, wondering if it's going to hurt. It does. It stings and burns as he slides in. At first, I'm not sure what the big deal is until we find a rythm.

We push and pull against each other. It begins to feel good, to feel natural. When he comes, the explosion that happens in my dreams doesn't and I wonder what we are missing, what we did wrong?

There's no time to think though, because Hanna is calling me frantically. Lucy is hurt and she doesn't have much time. I have to meet them a the veterinary hospital.

My dog, my best friend, is dying.

**Harutoga-Present**

"You're going to hit me with a car!?" Taka yells at him, red faced and furious. "I thought it would be something cooler!"

It's the middle of the night for her. Harutoga stares at dimmed lights all around her, tattered walls and a beaten up desk. "No, Shippo is going to get hit by a car. He's going to look like you and you are going to come back to Japan for the summer, then go back to the US."

"I don't want to come back for the summer. I want to go surfing, and eat ice-cream!" Taka pouts, rolling her eyes at him.

"That's not what Chichiue and your mother want," Harutoga reminds her gently. He's sitting in his room with his wife who's still waking up. He met Clara in Germany twenty years ago. She has bright blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin like the sun and moon came together to have a child. He strokes her shoulder, lovingly waiting for her to wake up. She groans and rolls over, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Did you just have sex?" Taka raises an eyebrow. "You promised you'd find someone for me!"

"Chichiue would kill you for just having sex with anyone," Harutoga chuckles. Taka isn't the same. Years in America have given her a mouth that knows no limits, a brain that he was sure she lacked before. But that was his fault, his and Yuki's for keeping her at arm's length. Ever since she brought Nina to them, their relationship has changed. Taka is closer to them now and more of her own person rather than her father's puppet.

"No, he would kill the person I had sex with," she moans and flops on the desk.

"Are you alright?" he asks her.

"I'm not looking forward to seeing Chichiue after the graduation ceremony tomorrow. His body is healed, but his mind hasn't and he always stares at Nina like she's Rin. It's weird."

Harutoga nods and grimaces. "I'm not sure he knows how to really let her go. Even if he said he did."

"So you're going to kill me by getting hit by a car and then I'm all set to come back and go to University?" Taka quickly changes the subject.

"Yes," Harutoga begins to tell her the details. He had to hack into several servers and bribe some of the native demons in America to get her a GED and then fill out applications and get her accepted at the same University as Nina. He even went as far as to make her Nina's roommate. The two will get to explore adulthood together. "Now you just need to start wearing your hair more maturely. You still look like you're fourteen."

"Yuki said I should stuff my bra so they look like mangos instead of apples," Taka giggles.

"I do not need to know about that."

"Wir est?" Clara mutters from her the covers.

"Est ist Taka. Geh wieder schlafen," he tells her. "Wir sind fast fertig." He combs her hair with his claws, something his father taught him with his first wife. He met her when he was just over a hundred and fifty years of age. She was bathing in a river, washing the inside of her legs with tears in her eyes. Sunae was like many of the females of the times. She experienced sexual assault as a child and often had nightmares.

Knowing his mother had suffered as a child and spent years having nightmares, he asked his father how to help cure her of them. _They never truly go away. Damage inflicted on children lasts lifetimes, but if you stay with her as she sleeps, comb her hair, kiss her shoulder, her body will come to let the dreams go. She'll sleep in the safety of your embrace._

"I want to learn German, and Spanish, and Chinese," Taka says and then adds, "how many languages have you learned?"

"I lost track. Just remember you'll run past the car, the car will be another fox demon, Shippo will take your place and then you'll go with Chichiue."

"You guys aren't setting me up right? This isn't just one big trick to finally make me come home?"

"No," Harutoga reassures her. "You can't live forever as a dog, Taka." He bids her farewell and then slides down the blankets, pulling the warm body into his chest. He kisses her lips, breathing in the scent of her neck. "Ich liebe dich."

"Ich auch," she mutters, wrapping her arms around him, laying a sensuous kiss on his lips. "Noch einmal bevor du gehst." She grins into his lips as he rolls her beneath him. Like his father he takes without asking. He doesn't need to. She blossoms below for him, moist and hot. He buries himself in her heat and in her love. Clara healed his soul.

They meet at a park where her father is taking Nina for a walk through the trees. They stay behind them, off to the side, keeping their distance. It's uncanny seeing someone who looks so much like his mother but isn't. A part of him wants to come forward, to tell her who he is but he can't. His father has forbidden it and from what Taka tells him, she has her memories. "Half the time she thinks she's the girl in the dreams and the other half she thinks they're just nightmares. It's changing though. Before the dreams came," Taka jumps over a large rock and lands on her feet, "before they came out of order but now it's like she's getting them in order but they're dark. Really dark. Who's Sakura?"

Harutoga stops and turns around, taking Taka by the arm and pulling her farther away from his father and Nina. "Do not say that name out loud."

"Why?"

"She was his failure. Nothing hurt him more than losing her."

"Who was she?"

"Our sister. The one who didn't survive. The one under the red camellias. You never wondered why he makes sure they grow every year on June 12th?"

"I never really got to go to that place, remember? Locked in a castle for three centuries? Not allowed to leave? God it's hot out here." She rolls her shoulders, sweat glimmering off her shoulders. She fans her with the front of her thin blouse.

"Are you okay?" Harutoga leans closer to his youngest sister, eyes glazing over. "You're going into heat."

"No I'm not. I'm just hot." She rolls her shoulders and shakes her long silver hair out.

"Taka, you're going into heat," Harutoga says more firmly, pulling her farther away from their father. "He's going to know."

"No," she cracks under his words, not wanting to accept them. "You know what he's going to do. I don't want to do that, please Harutoga? Don't let him do that to me? Yuki just started liking me and you and I'll ruin everything. Please? Can't you find someone for me to fuck?"

He chews his bottom lip and shakes his head, knowing his father likely already smelled what he does and that there is no other. Harutoga had been tasked since the advent of social media to track down another pure-blooded dog demon, of any species from any country and with so few left of their kind, Katsumoto was their only option.

"You trust him? You think it's the right thing to do?"

"I don't know what I think—"

"You fucking liar!" Taka screams at him so loud she gets the attention of several that pass by. "You think he's making the right choice? Him and everyone else who makes these choices and decides to breed their children like cattle!"

"Keep your voice down—"

"Don't tell me to keep my voice down!" She backs away even faster with claws shaking and eyes twitching.

"Taka this is the heat talking, not you."

"No it's not. You can't do this! We aren't animals!"

He raises an eyebrow at her.

"Okay not completely animal, but I have a conscious and I can feel things and I don't want to!"

"Don't want to what?" a deeper voice echoes from behind her. In her rush to run away from Harutoga, she lands back first into their father. Sesshomaru tosses her hair over her shoulders, the smile that was on his face before fades. "It's time to come home Taka."

"Please Chichiue, don't make me do this…please?"

"Some choices are out of our hands." He takes her by the hand and the two disappear together in a ball of light. Minutes later, his father texts that it's time to make her disappear. Shippo can pretend to be her for the day.

It works perfectly. Mayumi helps him stage it. There's a busy intersection where people and cars throng. She times it down to the second, making an average of how many seconds it takes once the light has changed for the cars to start moving again. Nina's family is out walking the dog. It's late into the evening. Shippo has mastered the art of being what he's not, down to the slightest tic from spending months observing Taka as Nina's guide-dog. He waits for the light to change red. Mayumi signals him from across the street, garbed with gaudy designer sunglasses she claimed where essential. 2.5 seconds after the orange hand comes up and the traffic light switches to green, Shippo bolts into the street and is hit by a car.

He yelps in pain, creates a fake wound and slows his breathing and even his heart rate. If he was still a kit, Shippo would go up several levels for the amount of tears that he makes Hanna and Derek cry, for fooling the nurses and doctors at the vet into believing that his heart is stopping faster than they can cut him open to heal the damage and that once Nina is there, broke and in tears that he takes his final breath and leaves this world.

He makes his escape just as his body is thrown into an incinerator and the vet who is a pureblooded marmot demon with purple eyes is paid for her acting skills. "It seems so cruel," Mayumi tells Harutoga as they head back to their hotel room for the night. "She loved that dog."

"She didn't need Taka anymore. And Taka will come back in the Fall."

"How is she supposed to go to school if she has a baby? That's so fucked up."

"Watch your mouth."

"You think he's right?"

"I think there are so few of us left, that someone has to make the hard choices. He isn't asking them to bond, just make another pure-blooded dog demon."

After tucking his niece in, he follows Nina back to her home where her boyfriend climbs in bed with her. His mouth falls open, wondering if his father has seen what he has. That once again the boy who had courted her before, is the first to hold her in his arms. Nina smells of his the boy's heat and sweat. He knows they made love this night but he also knows that when the time comes, whenever that is, Sesshomaru will not let her go, just as he did before.

**Please review! OOOOOO She's getting more memories and well, doesn't see them so positively. EEKSA... Anyway inspiration for Clara came from watching Hanna. I loved hearing German spoken and the way Hanna said Clara's name so I ran with it.**

**I have inspiration for a Hanna/Yashahime cross over. If anyone has seen Hanna, you know it's intense. We'll see if I start writing it. Working on an original right now.**

**So how about some movie rec's? I'm currently still plowing through all 26 something of Kathy Reich's books. I just started the Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult. And if you haven't seen Motherless Brooklyn that's a good one, so is Devil All the Time. So there are some media recs.**

**Responses!**

**Mechine: **All your answers are coming soon! Poor Natsuki, even when she repents, she can't get full forgiveness.

**New Reader:** Um...no...the past is screwed right now. I tried to temper it with brighter periods in the future, but it's all going to come together very soon. Rin definitely went through it but so did Sesshomaru. He's still in pretty bad shape.

**Luin-Fanel:** I know. As a child he doesn't understand what's happening and is trying so hard. I had this whole response for you about the difference between a child and an adult's point of view from these two stories written by brothers who survived Auschwitz. One is called, Out of the Depths, the other is Baalam's Prophecy. They're really good. One written by a child survivor and the other his teenage brother. Its amazing seeing the points of view of a child and the teen trying to keep him alive.

**Liz80Aguilar:** Yes! He's so young and so scared! You'll find out your answers soon.

**Guest/Newfanx2:** We're getting there! You'll find out what happens with Nina/Sess as the story progresses.

**Smmahamzing:** I imagine her badass. But I've never been quiet about that. I think at some point around so many strong characters, she would have followed suit. And she was a queen.


	87. Izayoi-PresentIVSesshomaru Present XIV

**Well...here we are again! Really I have nothing to say because I just updated Sunday...so here we go!**

**recap: Taka went into heat at the end of the last chapters. Nina graduated high school. Time seems to catch up quickly.**

**Izayoi-Present**

There's a room with a lock down one of the longest corridors in the castles. It's near the top floor where the air is the cleanest and the servants don't often go. Inside is where females in heat are mated in the hopes that they will bear children to replace what was lost so long ago. There are no numbers, no statistics, because the technology to count what's left didn't exist at the time and because many are still hiding, afraid to come out and show the humans they aren't the monsters they believe. What they do know is there are more now than there were fifty years ago and many hope there are hidden pockets that they don't know about.

But if humans cannot even accept their own, can't except those with brown skin, black skin, slanted eyes, who love the same gender, or practice a different faith, why would they accept the youkai still walking the land?

The Native American demons keep to themselves. The Africans invade every half century or so, seeking new lands and places to live. Sesshomaru has made peace with most of them, but at a cost. They've mapped the youkai genome down to the last pairing, guessing within a 96% accuracy who can breed with whom and who is most likely to bear a child. Peace was gained through the breeding programs.

It's why Taka has been locked in the room for three days. Izayoi asked to care for her.

She takes Taka hot tea to sooth the heat, to slow it down until Katsumoto can be convinced to sleep with his sister-in-law. There is a bath off to the side that is constantly filled with cold water and ice, to cool the feverish feeling and food. She sets the tray down and helps Taka eat. Her hands already too shaky to lift a spoon. Silver hair is matted gray around Taka's temples. She hasn't stopped crying since she was brought here, and when Izayoi remembers the fight it was, even she cannot stomach her Uncle.

"I should let you go," she mutters, picking up the dishes.

"He wouldn't let me," Taka stammers out, swallowing the hot tea. "Is he coming?"

"I don't know."

"Did you fuck that doctor?"

Izayoi chuckles. She's twenty one now. She and Yoshi dated for a while but broke up the year before. Because she doesn't look like everyone else, with white hair and pointed ears, she has to stay hidden. Yoshi wanted her to meet his parents, his family, but fear won out and she ended it, claiming that there was no way for her to have a relationship with a human.

The humans that join their tribe are asked to leave everything behind, family, friends, jobs, because their lives might be extended and the youkai can't be discovered. Yoshi would be asked the same thing and she couldn't do it to him, but not a day passes that it didn't feel like a mistake.

She leaves the room and finds Ojisama in his office leaning over his desk. Slamming his fist against the hard wood, he yells at Yuki and Katsumoto, "I'm not asking him to bond her, I'm asking him to have sex with her! Mindless, meaningless sex Yuki and you act like it's infidelity!"

"Because it is! Just because you did it with Natsuki doesn't mean he has to do it with her!" Yuki shoots back.

Curiosity gets the better of Izayoi. She cracks the door enough to see more of what's happening.

"It's not the same and you know it! And if I hadn't? It's as if you've forgotten you were saved by your brother! The only reason anyone survived was because of my unorthodox union! Do you think I enjoyed doing that to your mother?"

"You must have or you wouldn't have left her for five years!"

Sesshomaru snarls low in warning. "She chose abandonment!"

"Because you made it impossible—"

"Shut up Yuki!" Ojisama yells. He grips the desk like if he lets go he'll fly across it and throttle his daughter.

Izayoi covers her mouth to breathe deeply. "Don't think we forgot what happened," Yuki's voice sounds in warning.

"Do not think I will forget this," Ojisama warns back, just as furiously. "She had no family left Yuki. No parents, no siblings, nothing. I do not regret the time I gave Natsuki then. Whether you understand that or not is not my concern." His eyes shift to Katsumoto who has been quiet in the background. He sits in a high back chair, thumbing his bottom lip. The onus is on him.

A hand on her shoulder startles her. "Shit," she turns around, flopping against the wall. "Sato what are you doing?"

"What are you doing? Spying?"

Izayoi walks away quickly, leading Sato towards the skyline garden. She jogs up the stairs and opens the doors, desperate for air. "I can't believe he's going to do this to his own daughters. Why is Katsumoto being so quiet? He has to disagree with it."

"I'm not sure he does. But now you see why Rieko was so hesitant to save your uncle." He joins her beneath the high branches of a maple tree. She lets the sunlight warm her skin. She's left cold, seeing her uncle behave like an animal.

"It seems so cruel."

"At first."

"At first?" she snaps at him. "How can you say at first?"

"Do you know after the disease, there were only a handful of us. Many died of complications after. We raced around the countryside bringing the cure to as many as we could and at first, it seemed like our numbers were doomed. Like all was lost. And then a hundred years ago, we started noticing an uptick in our numbers. World War II brought those numbers down again, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, but after that Izayoi-san. You don't understand, our numbers are increasing. Those of us left that can pass on our yoki, it's working. You may hate it, it may take thousands of years to increase our numbers—"

"But you think it's worth it?"

"I lost my brother to the disease. He went with Rin-sama to bring back herbs and was gone. I never got to say goodbye. He sacrificed himself so we could live. Rieko is all that I have left. Her children are slightly less than hanyou. He tried to breed her off to Koga, that was before we knew that our lines couldn't cross."

"One big mess," Izayoi says, leaning against the tree. "Why are you here?"

"I said I would give you time to decide what you wanted. You broke it off with Yoshi?"

Izayoi bolts upright and glares at him. "Who told you?"

"Sesshomaru-sama. Who else? Do you think you aren't watched?" Sato isn't completely unattractive. He looks the same age as Izayoi, but with darker skin and more lines around the eyes.

"You had sex with my mother," she says very slowly.

"It was for comfort, nothing else. We were fond, so fond of each other, but far from in love. Once the disease was gone, so was our reason for being together."

"What happened? What really happened?" Izayoi scoots slightly closer to Sato. There are things she knows about him medically. Like he's fathered children with others of his kind who were more than hanyou and less than pureblood and that he was a twin, which is why Ojisama likes using him. His offspring come in pairs and almost always survive to birth. She even knows that before Taka left the castle so long ago that Sato nearly deflowered the girl before they were both caught by Ojisama.

"There was a battle, a bloody, horrific battle. Two different troops of monks and mikos were closing in on us. One took Rin captive and tortured her, the other landed on Sesshomaru-sama's doorstep. He had just uncovered the cure. He gave us what he had access too, Tsukimaru's blood and then we fought and slaughtered them. They expected a wasted village. So few were left. A handful of children, some fox demons, Koga, Sayako, Ginta and Hakaku. Koga offered to take your mother north, to the mountains, to live a quiet life. He wanted to see if there were any left of his kind, deliver the cure where he could. Katsumoto went south and Jaken East. She went with him because they had to make it through forests infested with monks and mikos. She created a second safe haven in the North. Eventually Sayako and Sota returned to the South with Taisho and another haven was erected."

"Did it ever stop? The hatred?"

"The Maita pandemic, just before Rin-sama passed away. Entire villages were wiped out. Sesshomaru went to treat the humans and when they passed, he brought them back by the hundreds. The monks and the mikos who couldn't fathom why he would, vowed to stop the purifications. We were safe for a time."

She exhales and takes his hand, feeling the rough knuckles and hardened skin. "What do you want?" She gazes up at him, more curious than feeling affection. There was something enthralling about knowing they could bond the way her uncle and aunt had, but at least they had love.

"What do you want? Why did you break it off with the doctor?"

She exhales, rubbing her elbow. "He wanted me to meet his family. We were serious, talking about marriage. He hadn't said anything to Ojisama, but…I don't know. I don't look human. Not like Mayumi—"

She's cut off my two clawed fingers over her lips. Sato shakes his head and says, "that's not a reason to let it go. Did you love him?"

"It's not that simple."

"It is. Did you love him?"

"I think so. He makes me smile. And he has beautiful eyes and we could talk for hours and—" she blushes, thinking of the nights that he had memorized her body, categorizing every mark and line. "It's been a year. It's so awkward in the office. We avoid each other. Work opposite shifts. Leave messages through other people. I should have known better."

Sato laughs deeply. "Love is hardly ever simple."

"What do you care? We're destined for each other anyway."

"No. We match and whether or not that would lead to a fulfilling relationship for either one of us is subject to debate."

"Yeah look at Natsuki and Ojisama."

"He cares for her to the depths of his heart, but it's not love. He would shed tears if Natsuki died, but they would be of relief and the loss of a friend. Not a lover."

"You feel bad for her?"

"I've seen them trapped together for centuries. One too afraid to admit what she feels and the other, hardened his heart against ever loving so deeply again. Even if he were to reveal himself to this woman in the United States, I fear he would not let himself love again."

"And you?"

"I want you to be happy. If you chose a life with me, what would you be leaving behind?"

Izayoi sniffles and wipes her eyes.

"Did your Uncle speak to his family yet?"

"No. I didn't ask him to. I didn't even tell him it had gotten that serious. I thought he'd be more concerned with mating me off to you. No offense."

"None taken." Sato leans back on his palms. "I'll speak to the boy's family."

"Really?"

"My humanity allows me resistance Izayoi. There will be someone else. If Yoshi is who you love, don't let it go over the canyon between you. You speak to your Uncle. Sesshomaru-sama will want you to be happy."

She gets up, dusting off her bottom and walks back inside just in time to see Katsumoto passing by Sesshomaru's office, heading for the corridor where Taka is being held. "Oh he isn't," Izayoi runs after them but is stopped by Natsuki.

"Don't interfere. It must happen," Natsuki's says, but it's clear she's pained by this choice.

"Be gentle with her, please," she hears Ojisama beg Katsumoto before the black haired dog demon walks down the corridor. "Do not make her cry."

"I won't hurt her," Katsumoto assures him. "Did she consent to this?"

"Convince her it's the right thing to do," Sesshomaru encourages him.

Katsumoto continues to the door.

Natsuki whimpers and then turns away, quickly, "She'll hurt anyway."

"Natsuki," Izayoi's heart breaks. "Natsuki wait!" She wraps her arms around the demoness, bringing her into a tight embrace. "It's okay."

"Not it's not," Natsuki cries. "Do you know how many we were hundreds of years ago? Before the Disease…no mother should have to ask their daughter to do this. It's all my fault. Why couldn't I just wait," she collapses on her knees in a fit of tears. "I should have waited…"

"And if you did we would be dead," Ojisama joins her on the floor. "Do not forget sweet one, that the cure was created from our first passion. There is no guilt to be felt in that now. He's waiting for you Izayoi."

She feels like a third wheel, part of something she shouldn't be. It's not the right time to ask, but she can't stop herself, "Yoshi wanted to marry me, Ojisama. That's why I broke it off."

His face wrinkles in consternation at first but then relaxes. "I know."

"You and you're hearing. Why didn't you say something?"

"Was it my place?"

"You manipulate everyone else," she spits out before she can stop herself, motioning to the corridor where Katsumoto takes a steadying breath and enters the room with Taka.

"I do. But you," he pinches her chin, "my brother's daughter, I wouldn't ask."

"And your own daughter?"

Ojisama's distracted. He keeps glancing down the hall, watching the door. She wonders what he hears and if she didn't know better, she'd think he was afraid. "Some things can't be helped. He asks about you often Izayoi. Yoshi misses you."

Izayoi smiles and nods. "Thank you," she whispers, hugging her Uncle. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Never," Sesshomaru answers, returning the hug and then leaves Izayoi.

"He makes no sense," she tells Sato.

"Little does."

**Sesshomaru-Present**

Together they pace, back and forth, carving snake-like lines up and down the corridor. He holds Natsuki's hand, needing something to anchor him, to keep him sane. From the moment the disease landed on their doorsteps fate sealed their choices. There was no other to take Taka to bed and her first heat couldn't be wasted. He rubs his eyes, wishing IVF was an option, but their bodies were so different than that of humans, it wasn't possible yet.

Like animals with long reproductive cycles the clock has been working against them.

They're talking on the other side of the door. Katsumoto tells Taka that Yuki will forgive him and that it will mean nothing. Their numbers must increase. Taka cries of betraying her sister and only recently making peace. He adjures her that the heat will be resolved and he will take the consequences. "I do this for my children to have a future," Katsumoto says.

Taka whimpers and then it begins. He hears a sob and moan from inside, knowing it's Taka's hymen breaking.

He pulls Natsuki into his chest, facing away from him, burying his nose in her hair. _She's going to hate me. _Somehow that thought hurt more than anything. Taka was his light, his jewel, the apple of his eye, his sweet comfort after losing Rin. Perhaps it was because he treated her like Rin that she grew how she did, or maybe it was that she was so much younger than her siblings, and he could dote on just her throughout her childhood. Or that she was the first child to not be raised between the strife of Rin and Natsuki.

_Tsukimaru, _the memories come back to him.

When Rin died, he satiated Natsuki's heat and for weeks after he let his lust be his comfort, until one night Tsukimaru came into their bedroom and asked when he was going to leave. He always left, Chichiue didn't live with them.

He kissed his son's moon, his stripes and then brought him into his study and read him stories about Inu no Taisho. "Chichiue is not leaving."

Tsukimaru smiled, for the first time in months.

At first, Lover's Park was given to Katsumoto and Yuki, then Harutoga and his wife until the turn of the century when war and upheaval made it impossible to keep.

Her moans beat in his ears, accusing him of the sins he is committing against his children. He holds Natsuki tighter, tears leaving his eyes. It's wrong and he knows it, but he has no other choice to preserve his kind. Katsumoto begins grunting, an even more tortuous sound than hearing his youngest. He knows when Katsumoto comes.

Sesshomaru takes it out on Natsuki, biting her shoulder so hard he draws blood. It pools in his mouth, as her yoki rises, comforting him. "Don't."

"You need it."

"Stop it!" He blocks her out, forcing hers back and instead leaves her alone in the hallway, contemplating the monster he's become.

Taka's first food as a baby was veal.

After being in the United States she became fond of Waffles with syrup, so he brings both when he unlocks the door in the morning. The tray is full of sumptuous food, even hot cocoa, a pathetic offering for what he has done to her. "I'm sorry little one," he tells her, setting the tray down next to her bed.

She's on her side, shaking in tears, sobbing so hard she can't breathe. "I…I…hate…you!"

"I know," he slides next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screams, falling out of the bed, backing away from him, and clambering to the window. "I'm going to abort it. I'm not keeping it!" She's no longer his little girl. Somehow she's changed in the thirteen years she was gone. "I'm not. I'll kill it. I don't want it…How could you do this to me?" She falls over again, curling her knees to her chin.

"How couldn't I?" He kneels in front of her. "Taka there are only five pure-blooded dog demons left in the world. Five and around a hundred that are either hanyou or more. I did this to keep our kind alive. For you, for your children."

"Is that what you tell yourself." She gags and vomits on his shoes. "I hate you. You are a monster. I'm going to kill it."

"He said you said yes."

"Because I couldn't control myself!" Taka screams, flying at her father with her claws. "I hate you so much," she sobs when catches her by the wrists and forces them down. "I'm going to abort it."

"Then I won't let you out of this room," he warns her gently.

"Then I'll kill myself."

He chuckles and nuzzles her neck.

"Don't make Chichiue tie you up," he hears a voice over his shoulder. "Don't even." Yuki's eyes are red, soaked in sorrow. "Get out."

He nods, exhaling regret, reconciled to what he has done to those he loves the most. _One more reason she should not see me like this. _Before he goes, he takes out Taka's passport, a wad of money and her papers so she can attend University. "I meant to give this to you sooner. I love you little one, even if it doesn't seem like it right now."

Taka sobs that much harder. Yuki brushes his hand off her shoulder and moves towards her sister. "Don't," Yuki warns him again.

He stops in the doorway, tapping his claws against the wall. "If an abortion is what you want Taka," he refuses to look at her, "I'll make the herbs."

He can hear them talking from two rooms over where he carefully mixes the herbs needed to prevent a pregnancy. Taka sobs how sorry she is to Yuki, how much she didn't want to do this and that they aren't bonded and how she doesn't want to come between Yuki and Katsumoto.

"Katsumoto is an idiot," Yuki mutters, barely audible. He begins boiling the essence.

"We fought about it. We've been fighting since the day you were born. Then he got sick and I thought," her voice breaks, "I thought maybe he would die and this day wouldn't come."

"I didn't want to Aniue, please believe me, please? Please don't hate me!" Taka's cries pierce his ears, making his hands shake.

"I know," the elder sister says and for a time the two cry together, mourn what he has done to them. He covers his eyes, rubbing the wetness off. He's told himself that someone has to make these choices, someone has to stop their kind from going extinct, from being bred out.

Rin would accuse him of doing to Yuki what he did with Natsuki, but then there are the memories of China, when she forgave him, when she understood why he had kept Natsuki close and pushed her away. Centuries later it still doesn't make sense but it was what he needed.

"Don't abort it," he hears Yuki say, finally after so many minutes of silence. This time he's the one peeping on the other side of the door. The two are curled in bed together, as if they hadn't spent centuries hating each other. "You might regret it."

"What are you and Katsumoto going to do? He cheated on you," Taka takes more tissues to clean her face.

"He doesn't think of it that way. Chichiue has been such a horrible influence on him. He's been with so many females since Ka-san died, trying to bring back our numbers. Katsumoto said he did it because it was the right thing to do. It was just sex."

"I don't even remember it," Taka pouts. "I'm sore though. You'd think my yoki would heal it already."

Yuki starts laughing. "That's probably because you're pregnant. I don't blame you Taka. I know what heat feels like."

Silence pervades the sunlit room, until Taka says, "Take it? Please? If I am pregnant and I keep it, will you raise it?"

"What?"

"Yuki, I want you and Katsumoto to raise the baby. I don't want to come between you. I don't want it to be a reminder and I don't it to grow up like Tsukimaru did. Please? Take the baby? I don't want it."

_At least I did something right. _He watches his daughters in awe. _Born from strife. _He kisses his palm and presses it against the doorframe.

Three months later, Taka is a mess of white fur in the birthing room. She whines as the pain comes. Like his mother had when Natsuki birthed Tsukimaru, Sesshomaru circles his daughter in his true form. Natsuki follows suit, staying close to him.

Katsumoto arrived early in the morning and now the giant black dog holds Sesshomaru's daughter in his paws, while Yuki sits on the sidelines. _Is this what Rin looked like, _he thinks, glancing at Natsuki. Natsuki shrugs, not knowing because she was too out of it at the time to know what was happening.

Taka howls in pain, raising her voice and Katsumoto responds trying to comfort but can't because there is no bond there. Sesshomaru moves forward, pushing his snout into his daughter's neck. _Hold on my little one, a little longer._

_Chichiue it hurts, _his baby girl cries into his neck.

_I have you, _he tells her, pushing Katsumoto out of the way and taking his place. He had held Rin with Taiyomaru and Harutoga. He would hold Taka too.

Taka's head pushes harder into his neck, seeking warmth and refuge. Katsumoto licks her ear and rests his forehead against hers. _Shh, I'm sorry, _he tells her.

"I'm here," Taiyomaru arrives at last. He takes his sister's snout in his hands, yoki rising, cooling her pain. "I can't take all of it."

_Take as much as you can, _Sesshomaru pleads, sounding undignified.

Taka whines again, the pressure comes again. Sesshomaru sings quietly in her ear, a song he used to sing when she was a child. She calms slightly.

With one last roar and a great splash of water, a grey puppy from between her legs. Natsuki lifts the little body up and sets it in front of Taka. She shakes her head and pushes the baby away, into Katsumoto's arms. _I don't want him…Please? Just take him._

_He needs your warmth little one, _Natsuki tells her. _He needs you for a little while._

_I can't, _Taka begs them. _Please, Ha-ha-ue don't make me._

_Look at him little one, you'll regret it if you don't, _ Sesshomaru whines, carefully picking up his grandson and setting him in front of his daughter.

Taka runs her muzzle up and down the grey fur, and then licks the baby's ears. She cries into the baby's neck.

"You don't have to give him to us," Yuki takes out a camera and snaps a picture. "He's beautiful Taka." She reaches a hand out and pets his fur. "He's beautiful," she chokes out and sniffs back her own tears. "I still hate you Katsumoto."

_Not enough, _the black dog demon bonks her in the chin with his wet nose. _Our bond didn't break and you know it meant nothing. It was for this. _He licks his son, _for our future. Are you okay? _Katsumoto emits to Taka.

She doesn't answer. _He's gray, _Taka whimpers.

"Because nothing is black and white," Yuki chokes back her tears. "I love you," she whispers to Katsumoto, "even if I can't forgive you right now."

_Nothing is black and white, _Sesshomaru thinks quietly.

Sesshomaru sits with Taka and Natsuki while she gently strokes the grey puppy who still doesn't have a name. He's larger than both Tsukimaru and Taka were when they were born. He whines at her breast, rutting. She's still in dog form, while the rest have changed to humanoid. "Go get some poultices for her," Sesshomaru moves closer. "He wants to nurse little one."

Taka shakes her head back and forth. "It won't make letting him go hurt less." With skill, because he's done this five times before, he helps the baby to find it's mother's nipple and smiles when the baby laps hungrily. "Good boy." He touches the puppy's ears.

Light blooms around the infant, shining brightly. Instinctively, Sesshomaru knows Taka will change with him. The baby has single stripes below his eyes and irises that match his gray hair. Sesshomaru chuckles touching his cheek. "Who will name him?"

Katsumoto stands off in the corner, guilt covering his face as he holds Yuki against his chest. "Are you sure you can love him?" Katsumoto asks her.

"He's my nephew," Yuki replies, wiping her nose.

"I don't know. I'd call him Grey," Taka smiles, saying his name in English.

"Inuhairo," Katsumoto calls over his shoulder.

"Gray dog?" Taka laughs even harder. "I suppose it fits him."

Three days later, Taka hands her son to her sister. The moment is tense and filled with tears. Natsuki hasn't left her room. She can't stop crying. She believes Taka should raise the baby and is making a mistake.

Sesshomaru knows better. Taka thinks this is what her mother should have done with Tsukimaru. Taka believes the baby is better off with Yuki and Katsumoto. One home. No confusion. No rivals. Just love. His daughters hug before they part.

Taiyomaru heals what he can and for the rest of the night although Taka continues to tell her father she hates him and never wants to see him again, she won't let him out of her grasp.

"You think I failed your brother," he holds his daughter in her room that night. "How is your pain?"

"The pain in my body or my heart, Chichiue? I thought I was your favorite. You can't do things like this to your favorite children."

"Tell me which pain you want to share?" He kisses the back of her head. She will leave him in the morning. Maybe then she'll let him go.

"Tsuki didn't understand. He told me that. He wanted to be with you all the time but he wasn't welcome in your home below, except for when you were gone and Haha-ue and Rin met in secret. If they could be friends, why couldn't you just live with them both? You hurt Tsuki being gone until she died."

"Whose hurt matters more?" he retorts gently. "Taka, I'm no saint. I made the choice I did for Rin and our children and in the process sacrificed Tsukimaru and Haha-ue. You think you've made the better choice?"

"I think I won't interfere in their lives and that maybe I'll find someone else so when I got into heat again I can keep my baby," she breaks down again, sobbing into his chest. "Promise you'll check in on him?"

"I swear little one."

"Is it possible to live without making sacrifices that hurt so much?"

"No."

"My baby Chichiue," she whimpers and wets his shirt with her tears. "Am I doing the right thing?"

He lifts her chin and wipes her eyes. "I don't know."

She hasn't slept in three days and his little girl is exhausted. He lifts a tea for her that's laced with herbs that will put her to sleep. He waits for her to finally give into her exhaustion before he sets her down.

Leaning over, he kisses her forehead and covers with a thick blanket. Her body is healing still, making it harder for her to resist the cold. "My sweet one, I'm so sorry." He rests his forehead against his daughter, berating himself inside.

In his office he finds Tsukimaru. Tsukimaru refused to come for the birth, or to see the child that Yuki and Katsumoto took home. Instead of speaking, Sesshomaru draws his son into his embrace muttering, "I'm sorry my son. I am no better than my father to leave you for so long."

"Chichiue," he whispers, wrapping his arms around his father and crying into his neck. Sesshomaru doesn't know what would have been better. In protecting his hanyou children he hurt his pure-blooded son and sent the message that his value was less. "You matter Tsukimaru," he tells him. "You don't know, do you?" He searches his son's eyes, wondering if he remembers.

"Know what?"

"That for ten years you lived with Rin and I."

"I did?"

But what he doesn't say is that the child was inconsolable because he missed his mother, that Natsuki spent every night for ten years crying herself to sleep and that although Rin loved Tsukimaru, it was not the same as she did for her own children.

And so for seven more years, he lives his life as he had before. He goes to the office to treat the ill, to save the lives of the hopeless. Nina emails less and less frequently. Taiyomaru asks if Sesshomaru knows Nina is seeing someone. Of course he does, but this time he is doing what he should have done then, allow her to have her chance with Kohaku. Even if it kills him seeing them make love on the beach and that for a time she forgets him completely.

Because he knows that it would have broken Rin's heart for him to do to Taka what was done to her. The only difference was that Taka and Katsumoto were not meant to be and a part of him doubles his efforts, trying to find someone to take her in a century, not just to do what he did before, but to love her, to bond her. Rumors abound of a lost tribe of dog demons deep in Siberia where the wind is so cold it chills all who come in contact with it.

But time marches on, until one day, sitting in his office chair he remembers that he sent them back, that the disease ended in the middle of summer, during the tenth year. It's time…

**Please review!** **Wow...so I let this part write itself. I tried at first to find someone else for Taka but it would have made the story sooo much longer and then this idea popped in my head that Taka thinks she's one upping her father and righting the wrongs she think he made in the past and boom, this ending happened. And I cried for 3 days straight and cannot edit this portion without turning into a big baby.**

**If you haven't read the Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult you should. Seriously she's my inspiration as a writer and her stuff is hands down amazing. **

**Guest#1: **Dunno...About 76 more pages. Roughly...but I might add an epilogue.

**Liz80Aguilar:** I know...poor Nina losing her dog. But then you see Buyo still alive and wonder. Your answers shall come. At the minute, it seems he is letting Nina have a life.

**Mechine:** I think more of Sesshomaru's children secretly agree with his more questionable choices because they know their kind has to survive by unorthodox manners.

**New Reader:** Shippo I figure turns into an trickster badass. It's one reason I would have preferred him over the tanuki in yashahime. I feel like he was just coming into his own at the end of the series and deserved more fleshing out. It was everything that Sesshomaru told her that helped her figure out where her dream were coming from, but she's still trying to understand them. Sesshomaru's heart has already been broken. Not sure it could more shattered in this story. HAHA and your comment about Yashahime. My first response was no, probably wouldn't cheat on her, but canabalize his own kids? Yep. Either way, he's part of the problem and hurting those around him. And could they just confirm the mom. Like I'm sure Rin is in the tree because of Sesshomaru and that he took setsuna's sleep and gave it to Rin. Why dunno. But if they're not married, it's a fucking stretch to do that to your child. Unless we're playing the Rin is weak trope and my kids can handle not being raised by me. But ahh just say it.

**Harukasempai:** I know. Just imagine having those dreams and not understanding the context. Like with Lost Memories, she didn't get that he was distant not because he was being mean but because he knew she was scared of him. HEHE...I'm not sure she get what she is seeing. And ooo I'm interested to see what you think now. Obviously more of Sesshomaru's children agree with breeding than disagree. But now you know she isn't raising her baby.

**Guest#2:** Dunno...I may go back and write a whole China story. But I've got more fanfics to write.

**New Fan: **Yep 21st century girl is very different than Feudal Japan and at the minute...Sesshomaru's not making any moves.

**Luin-fanel:** But you forget he never killed Kohaku. Yeah she didn't have quite the experience that Sesshomaru would have given but I also like her having a life, which is what Sesshomaru wanted her to have. He wants her to live and experience things and is firmly convinced he is too far gone for Rin to love him again. Not to mention Nina has Rin's memories but she is not Rin. Oh Red is soooo scary! My states managing okay. We don't do anything for Halloween. Your idea sounds like so much fun though. It would be tempting to put candy out for kids to sweeten 2020 but it's just not a good idea.


	88. Nina-Present VI

**Hello!**

**Yeah not even going to defend Sesshomaru in that last chapter, cause damn, he crossed one too many lines.**

**I'll tell you what moved me about that chapter, it wasn't him, it was Taka. Taka's personality really got to shine. Everyone was worried she would take Katsumoto from Yuki. No my girl has some gumption and some morals and not just that, she feels like she one upped her father and made a better choice than he did. All that is what made me cry, because Taka is not like her mother or her father. And she and Yuki made peace with each other. Which is so Yuki.**

**And if you're worried, don't worry, Taka gets her revenge, in the most Taka way possible.**

**Anyway recap: Nina is turning her dreams into books. HEHEHE...publishable books...that the whole world will get to read...**

**Nina-present**

_He's angry all the time and when he's not angry, he hides in the corners of our home where he thinks I can't see him, crying silent tears. What was once an angelic face is covered in constant pain. Everyone is dying. More than anything I want to be with him, to be near him, to comfort him, but he won't let me._

_He sits in front of sunlit windows, letting the oranges and golds paint his pale skin and tears drip from the corners of his eyes. If I enter he yells, or he stands so stiffly it's like he's forgotten that our bodies once wrapped around each other, that they once melded together, like two halves of a whole. What was once love has turned into something else, something cold, something foreign._

_I miss him and it hurts._

_Then one night, I leave my bed, searching for his warmth and find him in the room of another. His body is curled around hers. This woman with white hair and golden eyes. I feel sick to my stomach, so sick I want to vomit. He tries to tell me that it's necessary, that without him, she would be dead, but why does she have to live at all? We don't need her and then I see the soft tufts of hair sticking out from her breasts, curly white hair and angelic face, oh god…and the memories flood, a demoness, the time he was gone, promises broken. What is this?_

I'm tired of jolting awake from these dreams, from seeing what should be unseen. I used to tell Lucy about them, but she isn't here anymore.

I threw her ashes by the lake because that's where she was always the happiest. She would stare off at the sunset like she was waiting for something to come over the waters.

Throwing the blankets off my knees and sliding out of bed, I get my computer and start writing. Most of the memories make sense as long as I write them down right away. I know we lived in Japan, we, as if me and this mythical being in my sleep, this dog demon, the one from Lover's Park were actually a pair in a past life.

Sitting at my desk, I start writing what happened tonight. At some point, they all got sick and when they did, he became cold and cruel, although no more cold and cruel than he was before. It's like they were trapped in this cat and mouse of who was right and who was wrong, what was right and what was wrong. They had a baby together and she just took it? I flop face first onto my desk, growing into my keyboard. This needs a name.

It's like Beauty and the Beast on crack, but there are always Sakura petals…always. "The Beast and the Sakura Petals" I finally title it and pick up where I left off.

Summer ends before I'm ready for it to. Hanna and Derek drop me off at college with many hugs and kisses. Unlike many other foster kids who are kicked out of their homes when they turn eighteen, they kept me and let me stay in my room.

It's why coming into my dorm room is so different.

There's a girl already there with white hair and golden eyes. I stop in my tracks, searching for a white fluffy tail, stripes, moons and fangs, yet besides for her eyes and hair, she looks normal. "Hi," she waves, speaking with a soft accent. "I'm Taka." She spells her name to me, making me feel less worried that I would be paired with someone who I couldn't speak to.

_N-I-N-A, _I spell for her and then make my name sign, twirling an N by my cheek.

"Nice to meet you." The entire time she signs as if she's been doing this forever. There's something familiar about her, something about how her hand feels in mine, like we've met before but I can't place it.

We start talking. I find out she's from Japan and has been here since she was eight years old. Her father is a doctor and delivers babies and she is the youngest of five, the last to get to college. She wants to become a teacher and work in deaf schools.

"Do you want to go out to eat? My treat?" she asks me.

I nod in response, not speaking. I hate my voice.

_The forest is dark, cold and not the same as it once was. It's harder to get through the gnarled branches and reaching vines. They pick at my ankles, reaching for me as I step to keep up with him. "You're sure you want to do this?" he asks me, taking me around the waist to get through the branches more quickly._

_"__What happens if they need me? The same way you needed your father?" I'm so worried. I don't feel young anymore. I feel old like something is missing, like my strength is waning and then I see my hair in the wind, flowing and white. I'm old? I don't remember getting old…_

_He pauses, staring at me as if I've said the craziest thing in the world and then kisses my forehead. "Come my heart," he says softly, taking me the rest of the way through the trees until we land in front of a maple with odd moving branches._

_A wrinkled face appeared, like someone carved it into the side of the tree. "My favorite visitors," he says with a smile and then adds, "it comes with a price."_

_ "__I'll never stop marveling the future you know."_

_ "__It's not future, it's human behavior, Rin," he chuckles and cups my face. "It will hurt."_

_ "__I'm ready," I answer firmly. "What's the price?"_

_ "__You won't know until it comes." Suddenly, a thin branch reaches from behind me, stabbing me through the gut. Screaming in pain, I fall to the ground. He doesn't stop it. He doesn't make the tree stop. It burns. I can't breathe._

_ "__Shh, I'm here," he tells me._

_Light radiates up and down the branch, into my body. It pulls something out. I scream in pain. He doesn't stop it. Not with the claws that I know are so sharp, the poison that could melt it. The world goes black. I can't breathe._

"Nina wake up," someone shakes me. "Nina!"

Screaming, I wake up screaming this time, touching my stomach, looking for the blood, trying to find it streaming down my stomach, pooling by my legs. He's such an evil bastard, I hate him.

"Shh, it's okay," Taka pulls me into her chest. "It's okay."

_No it's not!_ I don't even think before signing, _I've had these dreams since I was little. Like I belonged to someone else in another life and I'm so tired of them. I want them to be done with!_

She frowns and tilts her head to the side. "I'm sorry."

_Why did I love him? He was so cold and cruel and he cheated on me and had a kid with someone else, and…it wasn't me…it can't be me…_

Tripping over my own feet, I run to my laptop and open the folder with my notes, with years of notes and things I remember from the dreams, showing her everything. She reads them, shocked and then says, "you know it would make a good story. You said you were running short on money, right? The school newspaper wants to run a serial story. You could submit some of this and they'll give you a small stipend. I bet a publisher would pick it up." There's a gleam in her eyes and devilish smile I can't place on her lips.

_My boyfriend is the editor, _I tell her. Eiji started working this year on editing the newspaper.

For years Eiji has been trying to convince me to publish this. I just thought no one would read it. Taka offers to help me organize it and make it coherent.

A month later after he's convinced the rest of the staff on the newspaper to let me write the serial story. We sit in my room with Taka. She's been helping write everything in order, from start to whatever finish. The dreams are so dark I can't sleep at night and there's no one I can talk to. They'd think I was insane if I told them I dream of the same being for years on end.

We each take a portion of the notes and start compiling them; when she was a girl, when they became lovers, the children they had, the memories that stand out the most. Losing my memories, when he cheated on her and lived with someone else. "You said he didn't live with her?" Taka reminds me.

"It's more dramatic if he does," Eiji says. Even when we're together he prefers using his voice. In private he tries to get me to use mine, but I don't want to. I sound like an alien.

Years of speech therapy and there are entire sounds I can't make because I didn't hear them until I was sixteen. "Just think how well this will sell, Nina," Eiji encourages me.

And it does. Two years later an editor for TR picks up the newspaper then orders back editions and thinks my story's amazing. She sells it to her boss, who especially likes the steamy smut scenes. She loves my writing style and is dying to know where this story will go and how much our heroine who I named Chi can handle before she leaves the demon lover behind.

She wants it so badly she gives me a large advance that allows me to live more comfortable than I had in the past. I run up to Taka in the courtyard and show her the contract and the second advance after the first copies sell out. _They already want the sequel written. Can you help me?_

"Sure," she tells me, setting down her computer. "What part is going to be the second?"

_When she loses her memories and doesn't know her family. It's so heartbreaking. But it's also when things still seem hopeful. She's so childlike and doesn't know who she is, let alone anyone else._

"I guess we should get the notes together."

That summer I tour the US doing book signings and meeting my fans. There's shock and awe, both angry and happy readers and mostly it just feels good to connect with people. This story means something to many and they can't wait for the sequel.

Taka comes with me, translating so I don't have to speak. I can hear just fine, except for when there are crowds and I can't sort out who is speaking from whom.

At night Eiji and I facetime, but he's getting frustrated. "You're gone all the time."

_I know…_it's not like I can deny it.

_I miss you..._he switches to signing.

_Why can't you just be happy for me? I'm successful, I'm good at something. It feels good to know people enjoy what I write._

_But at what cost? What about us? We never see each other._

_What about us? You're in school and I can't just not have a career. I'm not asking you to give up what you want, why would you ask me?_

_You're being selfish._

_How can you say that? I'm trying to make a living and support myself. It's not like I was adopted and have a family sending me money to mooch off of._

_What did you just say? _His eyebrows wrinkle and his face contorts in pain.

_Need me to sign it more slowly. FUCK OFF! _I end the call, slamming the lid of the laptop shut and start crying. We had talked about marriage, about children, about everything. We were so similar but with this…he didn't like it.

"Are you okay?" Taka knocks on the door. "Nina?"

I can't answer, I'm too busy crying like a baby. I should have known this would happen. It was always like this. I hate that this man is in my head, whoever he is, because for as much as Eiji said he loved me, it never feels like it does in my dreams, despite the hurt and the pain. It was like the love was unconditional and eternal.

_We broke up…_

"Oh no, I'm so sorry." She doesn't say anything else, instead she tells me to channel it, put it into my writing, hell why not? So she hugs my shoulders while I write.

I can't sleep that night. Eiji was fine letting my story run the rounds on campus. It was when it got picked up by an editor that he got upset, more like jealous. He can't stand the fact that my story is actually successful. More popular than anything he ever wrote.

I flop back on my bed and start flipping through my notes. The next piece of the puzzle. She lost her memories and with it the things that made her who she was. Tapping the my pen against my cheek, I think about their home and what it would have looked like.

In my dreams there are high stone walls, a garden, with a hot springs, the tree. I try to describe Lover's Park. I google pictures and join the Facebook page all in an attempt to gain more insight. It's useless.

Of course it doesn't help that the entire time all I'm thinking about is the fact that Eiji is upset that I'm more successful than he is.

Sometimes my computer is a magnet. Taking it back out, I sit down and start writing an email to Dr. Rinata. I haven't told him about my books. I haven't talked to him much either. But at times like this, when I can't think straight, I think about him and when he came in for my graduation and the things he said. There was tension, even if he didn't say it.

I tell him about my life. That I'm travelling for the summer for a new job working for an author. It's not a complete lie. But it's better than the truth and for reasons I can't understand, I tell him about Eiji, how we were together and how he became angry with me for being successful and how frustrating it is.

Why is that men always need to feel more successful than women?

The entire time, I'm blaring my headphones until I hear crying in the other room. Taka and I are in a joined hotel room. Knocking and then opening the door, I find her sitting on her bed looking at her computer. She shuts it quickly and starts wiping her eyes. "Hey," she says and then gets a tissue. "Sad movie."

_Really?_

I've learned to read people the way some people read signs. A downcast look, the trembling lip, the way she moved quickly to hide what was on her computer. I know it wasn't a movie. _What's wrong?_

She opens the computer again and then shows an enlarged picture to me. "My son. His name is Gray. I couldn't take care of him so I gave him up. These are the only pictures I have of him, when he was a baby. He's almost three now. The family that has him said they would send me new pictures soon. But…" she pauses and strokes his cheeks, "sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, giving him away."

_I'm sorry. Is it a closed adoption?_

"Kind of and kind of open. I'm not ready to see him. I mean, I want him to know I'm his mother, but, he's happy with his family. What if hates me?" She breaks again, sobbing into her hands. "I miss him."

_He wouldn't hate you for giving him a better life._

Pain is insidious. More than once my mind has taken me to my parents, to where I was found, how I ended up inside of a fire station when I felt like I had a life before I can't remember. I wonder if my parents cried? Did they love me? And if they did, why did they think I would be better off without them? I channel those feelings into holding Taka, to stroking her hair, and patting her back, and signing that she'll be okay.

That morning, Dr. Rinata sends me an email, telling me he is up late and that if I wanted I could video call him. Opening skype, I take a chance and call him. He's in a different room this time. It's sunlit and bright, with flowers hanging from the wall and a window that looks out into a clear blue sky. _Nina, how are you?_ Concerned.

_Okay, _I tell him and then start tearing up. Signing is amazing when you feel so upset you can't speak. I start telling him about Eiji, how he was my first and that we grew up together and were good friends and then about how I was given a summer job offer to travel for my job and he got so mad at me and we've done nothing but fight the entire time.

He nods, listening, with his chin in one hand. I've never asked him why he keeps his finger nails so long, but they dig into the side of his cheek. _Am I an asshole for wanting this?_

He shakes his head slowly back and forth. _Someone who truly loves you, will support your goals and at times that means needing time away. It's never easy when you are the one that has to leave the one you love behind. Like when a piece of your heart is left with them._

_Yeah…_I lie, because I feel like a piece of me is missing, but not Eiji. _You sound like you speaking from experience._

He opens his mouth and blows out air. _My first wife, I had to be away from often. It was very hard on her and our children when they were small. She didn't know, but each time I left, I used to make a wish that I would to cross the threshold of our home and see her again. _God, he's so romantic. _Even when we fought._

_You miss her._

_Always._

_And your second wife?_

_There's nothing quite like your first love. Rin and I were passionately in love, so deeply that when we were together, it was like there was no end and no beginning, just us._

I'm dumbstruck by his words, not only because of what he says but how he says it. _I don't feel that way about Eiji._

_Maybe your soulmate is someone else then._

_Maybe. Was she ever better at anything than you?_

_Many things. She was a better parent, a better lover and a better fighter._

_A better fighter?_

He smiles and keeps signing, _we used to spar. We both took martial arts training. She was more passionate than I was and in that way more powerful._

_Were you jealous?_

_No. When you love someone, you cherish their strengths and learn to look past their weaknesses._

_So you have weaknesses? _I raise an eye and flash a smile, heating my cheeks in the process.

He laughs, a beautiful series of notes that make me smile even bigger until the door to his room opens. He glances over his shoulder as a woman in a turquoise robe comes in. He signs that he has to leave quickly and shuts the lid to his computer.

This story isn't going well. No matter how I try for years to envision Lover's Park from pictures, my editor tells me it's too bland. "The first two stories were easy because you were just building their relationship, this one you have to build a whole society and it's missing those pieces." She tells me a year later as we sit at Starbucks nursing cups of coffee. "I want a better idea of what their home looked like and what the field of daisies looked like. I think if you can get those pieces together, we'll have a good book. And emotions Nina, we need to feel what they feel. Both of them."

When I get back to my dorm, I tell Taka I'm not sure I can do this. I don't know if I have it in me to be so descript and write every last detail. She reminds me of all my notes and then suggests, "maybe we should spend our final year of school in Japan."

_I don't know…isn't that weird?_

"You mean because of your crush on Dr. Rinata? You don't have to even tell him you are there. Just go to Lover's Park during the day. That's what you base their home off of. Once you really get to experience it, really, then you'll be able to write it."

My agent thinks I'm half mad when I tell her there's this place in Japan that keeps coming up when I think of the home and society I've been trying to build. Thank god my school has a program and I'm able to get a partial scholarship. Convincing my agent to get the publishers to give me a small living advance is hell. They aren't sure it's worth the risk. So much is riding on the third book and I've already sold them on the idea of the fourth one too. That one is going to be the juiciest.

There's something addictive about a character that is amoral and does what they think is right without taking into account everything around them. At least that's how I see it when I dream at night.

God, the last one was worse than all the ones before. My bones were broken. They wanted something from me, I wouldn't give it to them. They wanted me to tell them where he was and I wouldn't and during those days in the dark cave, alone and scared, I called to him and he didn't come and that hurts more than anything. As a child, I believed he would always come when I called, now I just don't know. Rejection hurts. Even in my dreams, it's like something broke between them.

In Lover's Park it begins to all come together. Who we were. Or who they were. Even if she was me, this woman who stands proudly next to the carving of the dog demon, she isn't me and I'm not her.

The park is vast. It goes on for miles and miles and takes up a good bit of Osaka. There are paved trails and hills, a river through a forest and birds constantly singing in the air. And then there's the lone Sakura tree among the pines and magnolias, shading everyone from the heat of the sun. A flash of happiness and contentment hits me as I explore this place that was their home. Almost like I'm coming home too

**Please review my friends!**

**Voting period is now in session on feudal connection. BEST DARK! I think we can call this one dark story :)**

**Coming next: **

**Kagome-Past Final**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Taiyomaru-Past**

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Responses:**

**Mechine: **Yeah Yuki needed to get to know Taka better. Before it was literally, you're Natsuki's daughter, I hate you. Which isn't really a reason to hate Taka. It's not like Taka can control where she came from.

**Liz80Aguilar: **Courage sounds good to me.

**Vilbern: **Me? Dark...fucking never...Oh wait, I lied. I'm dark and angsty all the time. Like Fire and Ice was my one attempt to not be.

**New reader: **Yes the times will be parallel. It's just there was so much to fit into the present timeline at the start and not a lot in the middle. That was one area where this story stumped me for a bit. Yeah Sesshomaru in the new series is as morally gray as he was before. Don't raise your kids. Say nothing when you see them again. Walk way from Rin and most likely, possibly the villain of the series. I bet they're going to repeat the arc of him being bad and then good. And yes Sesshomaru is a dick in the last chapter. Big time. She wanted to have sex, not get pregnant and not get between her sister and katsumoto. So yeah, huge betrayal.

**Guest#1: **It's not about purity, it's about saving what is left of their kind blinding Sesshomaru and everyone else. The more diluted the blood gets the more they lose what makes them distinct. They aren't human. Their species is going extinct.

**Guest#2: **Probably sooner.

**New Fan: **You will see. If one thing is hopefully obvious is that Sesshomaru is not going to break his bond with Natsuki and because of that he won't drag Nina into family drama. But who knows, something might bring the two of them back together.

**Guest#3: **Too late.

**Harukasempai: **Everyone was so out of line. Except for Yuki...I mean I love how she saw through what happened. Yuki will probably be explained later why she forgave Katsumoto. Mostly because Katsumoto is very blinded by Sesshomaru...and deep down, everyone in their species knows that in order to continue their numbers the breeding has to happen. Just in Taka's case, she didn't want it. He wasn't being affectionate in labor, he was apologizing for doing what he did. Taka was mostly just confused at the end. Trust me, she's going to get her revenge. In the most Taka way possible.


	89. Kagome-Final

**Holy crap I am so sorry I didn't post. FFN was down all week long. ALL WEEK LONG...I tried posting a new story...but it didn't even show up. So I'm so frustrated with this damn site. **

**Anyway, no review responses today because I'm really busy and I want to get this chapter up.**

**Recap: Kagome saw two people coming towards her as they rode Hatchi back to Sesshomaru's home with an injured Rin and Miroku.**

**You might need tissues.**

**Kagome-past-final**

**10****th**** year of the disease**

"Land!" Kagome calls to Hatchi. Scrubbing her eyes, she climbs across the giant yellow face and points at the two girls riding horses through the underbrush of the forest. One has long flowing silver hair and the other black. Dog ears on top of Izayoi's head gives her away. She looks so different than she had ten years before. "Izayoi! Mayumi!" she screams at the top of her lungs.

"What?" Sango crouches next to her. "It's them? It's really them?"

Kagome nods and leaps off Hatchi's back. The women, no longer girls stop their horses and leap off, chasing after their mother. "Mama!" Izayoi calls, no longer shorter but taller than her mother. They fly into each other's arms.

"Mama!" Mayumi shrieks.

"My girls." She kisses their heads, embracing them, holding them. "I can't believe it's you? How?"

"The well opened. But it won't stay this way…we saw him…we saw To-san!" Izayoi speaks so quickly, even when Kagome tries to stop her she can't stop speaking. "It's the last time. We aren't staying. He said it's time to choose where we live and that the portal between times will close forever. I can't momma, I…" she stops herself and hugs her mother tightly. "I'm married now and we have children. I can't. I didn't know if we would ever come back. But we brought supplies. Ojisama told us how much is safe to take from the boys. We have to get back quickly."

"What?" Kagome finally spits out, feeling the world spin around her, like she's flying in circles.

"The well is closing mama. Forever," Mayumi says, still stuck like glue to her mother. "You have to choose which side you will live on. This one or that. We have a week. Long enough to get to Ojisama, drop this stuff off and return. I'm engaged to this guy, his name is Nobutada. I met him in college. He's so amazing, you would love him."

Her breaths become staggered and her eyes glaze. She forces herself to calm. First and foremost, they must treat the ill. They have to get Rin back to Sesshomaru to be healed. Try as he has, Taiyomaru can't heal her. He exhausts himself taking her pain to the point that he nearly transforms again. "Come on." Kagome tells them

They travel together for another hour on foot before they run face first into a furious barrier made of blue yoki. The horses slam into it, whinnying in pain. Kagome bounces off of it, frustrated. "What is this?" She reaches a hand out to touch it, testing its strength. "This is Shiori's doing."

"I smell blood," Taiyomaru says and steps forward. He sets both hands against the barrier and then his forehead and then raises his head back and howls like a feral dog. "Chichiue isn't coming. He's." He turns away from the barrier and faints.

"Taiyomaru," Kagome runs to him. His skin has been pale for days. He's barely eaten. "Come on little one." She scoops him up, while Sango hefts Miroku and Mayumi and Izayoi carry Rin on the litter. Kagome embraces the full extent of her power and is about to shove it against the barrier to break it when it shimmers and moves, allowing her entrance.

She throws Taiyomaru's limp body over her shoulder and runs as quickly as she can through the field, up the hill and into the village. It's desolate, not the lively place it was before. Human bodies rot in the sun, marring the usually sweet scent of the village. She leaps over one body and then another, nearly gagging at blood flowing like rivers. _How long have they been here?_

She runs faster, making it to the towering white walls of Rin and Sesshomaru's home. She pulls the door opened to find Nobuatsu on the ground, surrounded by the few remaining sick, children. Shiori's eyes are glowing. Sweat soaks her brow. "Kagome-sama…you made it. They're dying."

"Mama!" Sota calls, leaving Sayako in a corner. He jumps into her arms, as if he's just a boy again and cries against her neck. "I smell them…what? How?"

"No time, where is O-ni-sama?"

"In his room," Sota barely gets out before running out the door.

Taiyomaru is beginning to become a weight on her back. Switching shoulders, she runs up the corridor to Rin and Sesshomaru's room, finding him curled around Yuki and Harutoga. He lays on his back panting heavily, straining, while holding the two tightly to him. Yuki whimpers while Harutoga's chest barely rises and falls. She sets down Taiyomaru just as Izayoi and Mayumi come in behind her. "How much can I take?"

"A liter," Izayoi answers, tying an orange band to Taiyomaru's upper arm. He groans, trying to push it off. "Go back through the well if you want Ka-san, we can take care of this. It'll take you a few days on horse to get back there anyway."

"I'm not leaving yet," Kagome answers resolutely. "How much do we give them? I know they need his blood and Tsukimaru's."

"It has to be together," Sesshomaru mutters from his place, still trying to catch his breath. "Taiyomaru…Natsuki has a limbic system now, but it wasn't strong enough to overtake the disease," he coughs, keeping his eyes closed. "Mix it, Yuki and Harutoga first, then Natsuki."

"Sesshomaru…"

"No, my children first and Natsuki," he says between groans of pain.

"What happened here? There are dead bodies? They were attacked?" she asks her daughters.

The girls nod and say no more. He can't know that they've been with him in the future and chance of him regaining himself and changing in the future could end if he knows what he becomes. "I'll get Tsukimaru."

"Don't hurt him," Sesshomaru moans, rolling onto his side. His chest is covered in bruises and holes. "Don't hurt my son."

"I won't," she gazes at him, utterly confused. Running and twisting down the hallway, she stops first in her room, finding Sato on the floor. "Are you okay?" She pulls his lap into her knees and kisses his brow.

"Barely," he whispers. "A great battle."

"We have the cure. You're going to live," she tries to encourage him. "Stay with me." She leaves and goes into Natsuki's room. The demoness lies on her side with two arrows sticking out of her shoulder, another through one of her ankles and a gash in her middle. "Kami," Kagome whispers and runs into the room. She can feel the sealing energy in the arrows stopping Natsuki from healing.

She grabs the shaft of the arrow in her shoulder and pulls it out, then the second and the one in her ankle. Natsuki screams in pain.

The entire time Tsukimaru watches her with intent eyes. "You need to come with me little one. Natsuki I'll bring him back in a few minutes. We have the cure now. You're going to make it, okay? I'll get some poultices and treat these after."

The rest of the day and late into the evening she stretches the cure with herbs and juice to help them get it down. Sesshomaru gives her a specific order, first his children, then Natsuki, after that himself, Shiori, Nobuatsu, Katsumoto, Koga and Sato. When a small amount remains he says to give it to Sayako. "You can't take any more for a week. Taiyomaru is already exhausted."

Rin lays in a pile next to Sesshomaru. Every so often, he strokes the hair out of her eyes, but refrains from touching her, for each time he tries, she cries in pain. "What did they to do her?"

"They were looking for you."

"Will more come?" he asks distantly.

"I don't know. It was a small troop. Taiyomaru killed them. All of them. He's not okay Onisama. He's wore himself out." She strokes the boy's hair as he sleeps with his siblings. "He changed, became feral, the way Inuyasha used to."

"Leave," Sesshomaru barks out. "How many are left in the dining hall?"

"I didn't count. A handful of children, Shippo, Jaken and the others. There wasn't enough for Shippo and Jaken."

"They'll last," he says, groaning again. "My heart," he thinks she can't hear him say this. "What did they do to you?"

She leaves, giving the family time alone. "Miko," Sesshomaru calls after her.

"What?"

"Bring Shiori in to sleep."

"Should I put her in the kids room?"

"No. In here."

"Explain it again?" Sota asks Izayoi as they drag bodies from the field to a tall pyre.

"I saw To-san in the well and he said it was time to choose. The well closed because this was meant to happen, to stop anyone from escaping. We told him we had to give supplies to Ojisama," she throws her whip around another body and starts lugging it up to the fire.

"But you aren't staying here?" Taisho asks her.

"No…I…I have kids and a family over there now," Izayoi tells them. "Mayumi's engaged, our life is there."

"But if you go," Sota says sadly, "we'll never see you again."

"No," Mayumi answers, tearing up, making Kagome's heart clench.

"I have to decide? How do I decide?" She falls to her knees. For ten years, all she could think of was reuniting with her daughters, but if she chooses that side, she must say goodbye to her sons. She closes her eyes, not sure which life she wants. She's been here for so long that she's forgotten what it's like over there.

"I don't know," Izayoi purses her lips. "But we have to decide."

"Can I see your family?" Kagome asks her. "Is there enough time to get to Osaka?"

"Well…" the girls start in unison and then look at each other. "We booked you a flight from Tokyo to Osaka, if you wanted to come back. It's round trip though."

"I want to meet them," she says again, not sure if she can make the choice. She burned the body of her first grandchild. "You said you were married, to who?"

Izayoi blushes deeply, eyes in the direction of the house. "His name's Yoshi. He works with Ojisama."

"They have the most adorable babies," Mayumi pulls a small handful of pictures out her pocket and shows it to her brothers.

"They're beautiful," Sota tells her. "Don't tell me what happens," he gazes worriedly at the house. Kagome touches his shoulder. "I know she'll be okay."

"Did he tell you?" Taisho asks quickly.

"No, I just know," Kagome shrugs and then exhales as the last body is brought to the pyre. "I don't know what to do," she bursts into tears and pulls all four of her children against her. "If your father were alive, I would live where he did, but now…I don't know. Either way I say goodbye to my children."

"Do what's best for you," Taisho whispers. "We'll be okay here with Ojisama."

"And we're okay in the future mama," Mayumi says, with tears falling down her nose.

"This isn't fair," Kagome cries, plagued by her choice, to say goodbye to her sons or her daughters.

After she's bathed, she returns to her room to find Sato drinking water from a bottle with eyes that are less hazy than they have been. She can't go to him the way she had in the past, not anymore, not knowing who he'll become. Nonetheless she sits next to his side and wipes his still warm skin down with cool water. "I'm going back through the well. I only have a few days." She tells him that it's closing permanently, that she has to decide what she wants, where to live and whatever choice she makes will be permanent and that no matter what she does, she's leaving her children behind and she doesn't know how to accept it.

Sato's face goes through a series of changes, stern, shocked, concerned and then back to exhausted. "I'm sorry," he answers weakly.

"I don't know what the right choice is," she sniffs back tears again. "I haven't lived there in so long and I had finished my nursing degree but that was ten years ago, but…I've been here. I know these people. This place…"

"He wants to find the rest as soon as he's strong enough," Sato tells her. "I will follow him. Hatchdi can't be the only one. There has to be others, held prisoner, fighting for their lives. It's my turn to find them."

"I know. Sato…I know we talked about getting married and living a quiet life, but maybe that isn't in the cards for either one of us."

"But it was good while it lasted wasn't it?" he tells her with a slight grin, rubbing his stomach. "This cure is painful. I feel more sick than I did before."

Chuckling, she gets up and kisses his forehead. "You're going to find the one for you. I know it."

"I know. If there is one left among my kind. How bad is it? How many are left here?"

"A handful. We have to wait a week before we can treat whoever's left. More will pass. If I had to guess, maybe the children will survive because they are hanyou but the rest won't make it. Shippo and Jaken I hope."

The next few hours are spent in silence as she thinks of what to do. During the night she tends the sick as she had before with Miroku and Sango by her side. She thinks of them and their dedication. Of Kohaku who has already sent out slayers to find youkai to bring back here for treatment and how different her life there would be if she chose the other sidee. It's been years since she has been back to the present and there's no clear picture of what she would do.

Izayoi works for Sesshomaru. Mayumi went to school and works for the government as a computer engineer. They have their lives and she wonders what she would do. Her own mother is in her sixties, something she hadn't thought about. She never even got to say goodbye to her. "I'll be back," she tells Sato.

"I know," he replies softly.

"What does that mean?" There was a certainty in his voice, something that made her feel more sure of herself.

"If you don't go back, you'll regret it. Your mother is there, your brother. I can't promise I'll be here when you return."

"Thank you, Sato. For everything, for being my friend, for being what I needed." She hugs him, finding warmth against his chest. "You're a good man."

"You gave me hope Miko. What I needed to keep going."

She leaves him alone and goes out to find her daughters, wondering what happened to her mother during this time. "Mayumi," she finds her children huddled by Sayako. "How is she."

"Hanging on," Sota replies, holding his lover's hand. "She really took a beating in the battle. Her body is trying to heal from both."

"She's strong," Mayumi encourages him.

"What happened to Ba-chan?" Kagome asks quickly, not wanting to mince words.

Izayoi and Mayumi look at each other and then grin. "He took her to Osaka. She fell two years ago and broke her leg. Sota took her to Osaka and Ojisama used his blood to heal the break so it wouldn't hurt her in the long run. She decided to live there after that. To be closer to him and his family. Ojisama sent Shippo to care for the shrine. It's all okay Ka-san. You can go back or stay here. We're okay."

"Why did he do this?" Kagome covers her eyes. "He knew all along," she forces her tears back, too stubborn to cry again.

Mayumi and Izayoi share a glance and then shrug. "You have to ask Ojisama. He's expecting you in Osaka."

"Kagome," Koga calls her, and they walk to the side of one of the halls. "I…" he starts and then stops. "Ayame is gone, everyone is gone," he follows up, gazing around at the few children that are left of his own kind. "Come with me to the mountains."

"What?"

"I…Before, when I pursued you, it was because I felt what Sesshomaru feels for Rin, what Sota did for Sayako. I've heard rumors that some may still be alive, in the lands of Jinenji's father. Come with me." He leans down and kisses her lips, shocking the hell out of her but she doesn't stop him. There's something natural and warm about it. "I'll wait for you."

Three days later she leaps into the well alone. The girls remained behind to help administer the treatment and to say their last goodbyes to Rin. When Kagome left their home, Rin was barely conscious and Sesshomaru lacked the strength to heal her. He simply lay next to her and when he thought they weren't being watched, sung to her.

The lights of the well swirl around her in iridescent purples and blues. The wind sends her hair flying through the air and then a bright light surrounds her. She takes a deep breath, preparing to see Inuyasha, but instead she's in a field that looks similar to the one in the Edo only it's brighter and orange. In front of her Kikyo stands with a proud smile on her lips. "You did it." She strides forward and hugs Kagome as if they were old friends. "You did it."

"Did what?"

"What you were sent to do," she replies. "It's over now. You were expecting him. He's already left this place."

"What?" Kagome asks, shocked and confused.

Kikyo presses her palm to Kagome's chest, lighting it with holy energy. "You'll meet again next time."

"Next time?" Kagome falls to her knees and rubs her eyes.

"You have three days to return and then the well will close. Only pain lies in what you seek. The choice is yours."

Kagome appears on the other side, landing lightly on her knees. She climbs out of the well and runs into the house first, opening the door. It's the middle of the night but she was promised a ride to the airport.

There's a note on the counter with a cell phone and Shippo's name. "Shippo-chan," she says happily calling him and letting him know that she's there. He's on his cell phone and from the moment they connect, they can't stop talking.

However, where she expected a boy that went up to her hip to pick her up, she finds a boy that's taller than she is with long orange hair and a bright smile. "I still can't believe it," she hugs him, having to stand on her tippy-toes to reach him. She kisses his cheek and together they spend the ride to the airport catching up. He tells her that after the disease ended he left with the few fox kits that were left, including the hanyous. They became a surrogate family and traveled around Japan, bringing back anyone they could find. When it was obvious they had treated all the living youkai in Japan he and a female hanyou who was still a child at the time started traveling West into China, longer after Rin and Sesshomaru had returned.

They fell in love and he bonded her and on his journey he found a nest female fox demons, all single and took it upon himself to bond them too when he was old enough. "Really? You took so many?"

"Why not," he shoots over his shoulder. "It's not like there were any others. Foxes survived on a few continents. Out of all the youkai left, our numbers are the highest but we still keep a low profile."

He drops her off in shock and awe at how large his family is. He gives her updated forms of ID. She runs into the airport, down the terminal to take the long flight to Osaka. On the way she sleeps, because she's barely slept in years anyway. The only reason she wakes upon landing is because of the flight attendant that shakes her shoulder. No one has explained why this had to happen, or why Sesshomaru kept it to himself. She could have stopped it, saved them all, brought them back, but instead Inuyasha died.

When she exits the plane, Natsuki is waiting for her, dressed rather modernly in a flowing white blouse and tight fitting jeans. "Natsuki?" Kagome balks.

Natsuki smiles and hugs her. "Miko, it's good to see you again."

"You look so grown up," Kagome bursts out laughing.

"And you've aged," she replies. "Come on. He's waiting in his home."

"Why did he do this?" it's the first thing she can think to say. "I could have—"

Natsuki raises her hand in the air, cutting her off. "He'll explain."

"How can he explain? He let his brother die!" Kagome yells as they walk around to the airport until they are in area that is sparsely populated. Natsuki grabs Kagome around the waist and flies into the air.

"He didn't want that. He didn't want any of this," Natsuki says.

Kagome doesn't believe her.

"Please, Mr. I'm King of the World."

"You can't understand until he explains."

They soar through the air in silence. Each breath closer makes Kagome angrier and more frustrated. It doesn't make sense. As soon as they land she hones in on his yoki and starts storming in his direction. Reiki swirls around her like a cyclone.

"Kagome-sama!" Natsuki calls after her.

"Don't even!" Kagome yells at her in threat. For years she sat by his side in the Edo, she worked with him, she stayed up late into the night trying to find the cure and this…this she couldn't tolerate. Her feet move faster, taking her up the stairs, and towards his large office. She had only been in this place a handful of times before.

Slamming the door open, she sends the full force of her power flying at Sesshomaru, not giving him time to duck out of the way. She pins him to the wall, making his eyes flash red and his teeth elongate to compensate for the effort she's putting forth to subdue him. "You bastard. You knew. For twenty years, you sat with me, you treated me like family and the whole time!" her voice breaks into a high pitched shriek. She picks up a pen from his desk, filling it with rose colored energy and stabs it into his shoulder, drawing blood.

He grunts in pain, panting at the pressure. "I did this for you," he spits out quickly, baring his fangs at her.

"How could you possibly have done this for me? I didn't need this! I didn't need to lose ten years with my children, or Inuyasha! Twenty years wasn't enough! You did this and you don't even care."

"If I hadn't, you would not have been born," he coughs out, his body turning more white and his ears growing fur.

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"How?"

"The scroll of Yashida," he speaks through clenched teeth, trying to catch his breath. "You…are…his…descendant," he chokes out.

"What?" Shock makes her drop Sesshomaru on the ground. He lands on his knees rubbing his throat. He pulls the pen out of his shoulder. His eyes change back to gold.

"We found it in your family shrine. You are his descendent Kagome. If I had told you and you went back and had him killed, you would not have been born. Whether you like it or not, I did this for you. To preserve your life."

"What happens to me?"

"You know I can't tell you that." He pulls himself off the floor with a heavy sigh and touches her shoulder. "You've already decided, you just don't know yet. Now come with me, your grandchildren are waiting and I've arranged for Mayumi to be married when she returns."

"Does she know that?"

"Weddings shouldn't be missed."

She watches Mayumi walk down the aisle. Sesshomaru flanks her, taking measured steps and then passes her to the groom, kissing her brow. Kagome tears up watching her youngest daughter marry. She met this man for all of a few hours, so grateful that someone loved her daughter as much as she did. They exchange blessings, wine and then rings. The entire time Kagome cries silently, trying to get a hold of herself.

During the reception, when she's exhausted and just wants to sleep again, Sesshomaru sits with her and hands her a stack of hand written journals. "What are these?"

"Everything. Open them."

She does, finding pictures from their graduations, their birthdays, their school events and plays. "Sesshomaru…"

"I documented as much as I could. You know I'll care for them should you decide to return to the Edo."

Tears slip down Kagome's cheeks, because this is what she had decided. There was never a question of where she belonged or where she would do the most good. "I wish you could tell me they would be okay," she rubs her eyes.

"Nobutada is a good man. He knows about her inheritance because he too has it. He didn't know until we told him, that he came from a line of human and wolf demons. It's so faint it's nearly there. I promise they will be cared for."

"I know."

And that is how she finds herself standing in front of the well, gazing at her daughters, wondering how she is supposed to say goodbye. It's the last time she'll see them. She imagines what her daughters will look like in twenty years, thirty. Their grandchildren.

Taisho is still in the past, unattached and a part of her knows that she will never find rest until she knows that his heart is full and the pains of the last ten years are soothed. "I don't know how to say goodbye," Kagome starts and then the tears come again.

"Then don't," Izayoi tells her and hugs her tightly. "Mama," she cries and Mayumi joins them.

There are no words, nothing to be said that makes this moment less bitter than what it is, but her choice has been made. She'll return to the past. She'll follow Koga to the mountains and find what's left of the wolf demons and maybe, just maybe save what's left so that this future can exist. She kisses her daughters on the cheeks as the sunrise and then turns away, taking the gifts of pictures and letters with her.

"I love you," she whispers, through her tears. "I'll always love you." She looks at Goshinboku and then tells them. "And when you need me, I'll be there, beneath Goshinboku."

Tales of a great Miko drifted from the mountain tops. They said she came and saved the sick children on the peaks, that she lived the rest of her life in peace and that she and the wolf demon found comfort with each other, but most of all, that she had lived a life of meaning and gratitude. She lived.

**Please Review! That wraps up Kagome's part in this story. :)...Yes I made myself cry writing that. HEHE...**

**Story Rec: Of course I'm going to promote my own story. Finem Servitus is a SessxOC...I've been wanting to toy with a slavery story for a while now, but knowing how I write, I want to draw parallels to slavery in the US. The OC's name is Nzinga. Her mother is from Zimbabwe and her father is a white slave trader. Their love is both forbidden and dangerous and could bring the end of demon enslavement if she can only remind Sesshomaru of who he once was. Give it a read. Let me know what you think. **

**Coming next: **

**Sesshomaru-Past**

**Taiyomaru-Past**

**Sesshomaru-past**

**Rin-Past**


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